Finished stories that feature the characters from the show, but there are no aliens. All fics completed on the main AU without Aliens board will eventually be moved here.
Author's Note: I didnt want to make aliens, but I like the whole Max has something other than Liz that kind of keeps them apart, so I made Max a dedicated Soccer Player. (lol- sorry but thats my sport so it had to be done)
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Max’s POV
I wasn’t there when it happened. I was in Phoenix, Arizona playing soccer when I got the call from her mom telling me what had happened. It was weird, because she was the one who had been scared for me. She had a thing about flying. Ever since she saw the movie Air Force One when she was a little girl she had been afraid to fly because she thought the plane was going to be taken over or it was going to crash.
When I told her I was flying on Friday the 13th it didn’t do much to make her any less scared. “That’s even worse!” she had exclaimed. I didn’t want to leave her anymore than she wanted to go but I had a commitment. I had been playing soccer since I was 4 years old, and it was the most important thing in my life, until she came into it.
I never expected it to happen. One second I was sitting in science class staring at her whenever I could, and the next she was talking to me too. It was amazing. I lived for the moments when she would turn and look at me, when she would ask me a question, or help me with something I couldn’t figure out.
I was scared to get too close though. Sure, I had dated one or two people before, but she was different. The other girls weren’t threatening, they wouldn’t affect my life in the way that I knew she would. Being with her would make me forget about everything that I had always thought was important. That’s why I stayed away at first.
I didn’t think she liked me either. That was another factor in my distance. She was beautiful with her long brown hair and dark eyes. It made my day when she wore her hair down. Everything about her was perfect, and that was why I couldn’t believe it when I found out that she liked me too. I was the luckiest guy in the world.
But luck always runs out. Which is why I’m standing here gripping the hotel phone so hard my knuckles are turning white. I can’t even think about moving, and I can’t even feel the pain my grip is causing. It doesn’t matter.
Nothing matters anymore now that she might be leaving me. The doctors aren’t giving her much of a chance to live. They say the car hit her just a little too hard and a little too fast. I’m wondering how something like this could’ve happened. I wondering how I'm going to gather the strength to call my dad and tell him I'm coming home. I'm wondering how my life, that was going so perfect, could be destroyed in one second with some drunk drivers stupid mistake. But most of all I'm wondering how I'm ever going to be able to survive.
Because the one thing I know without a single doubt in my mind is that there is no way I will ever be able to survive Liz Parker.
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TBC......... Feedback PLEASE or I won't continue because I'll think no one likes it. Flames if you must!
Last edited by Hopeless Romantic on Tue Mar 02, 2004 4:07 pm, edited 9 times in total.
Max left today and I’m in the worst mood imaginable. Everyone who even comes near my room is yelled at. I just want to be alone. Alone until he calls me and lets me know that he’s safe and in Phoenix.
I hate flying. I hate when other people fly. I know in the back of my mind that nothing is going to happen, and I know that planes are safe and that my life isn’t a movie. Evil conspirators aren’t going to jump out of the plane bathrooms and take the president and his daughter hostage.
Maria says I'm overreacting. Max isn’t going to be flying on the same plane as the president in the first place. I knew that already, and her telling me like I was dumb is the reason she’s not allowed in my room until he calls. Maybe I am overreacting, but everyone has their fears. This one is mine.
It didn’t help that when I got into the car the first song I heard was My Immortal by Evanescence, which is about a girl who can’t get over the death of the man she loved. Alex says it sounds more like a mom talking about losing a child, so he’s not allowed over until Max calls either.
That song always makes me cry. I imagine what it would be like to lose Max and find myself knocking on wood so hard it feels like I’ll break my skin. I started crying in the car when I heard it because I can just picture myself walking along the soccer fields where I watch Max play and knowing that he won’t be there anymore. Or picking up the phone to call him and realizing that he won’t pick up anymore. That’s why I'm in my room.
Max always says that I think too much. I say it’s a girl thing. Guys are too laid back to worry about the little things like this, but girls think of these things. “It’s not my fault,” I tell him. “If I didn’t think this much I’d be a guy, and this relationship would be a little awkward now wouldn’t it?”
I love making him laugh. Before I knew him he was always so serious. It had to do with his soccer. I feel like I've opened him up to a whole new world, one where soccer isn’t the most important thing. I know that it will always be his biggest dream, but I like to think that he has a new one now too.
It made our relationship kind of complicated. I used to feel like it was always pulling him away from me, like I would never be the most important thing to him. I made some mistakes that I'm not too proud of because of it. We’ve been together since April 3rd during our sophomore year. It’s February of our junior year and we’re reaching 10 months. All together we broke up for a month, but it happened twice.
The first time was right before summer. He had been gone four weekends in a row, and I felt like I was in a serious relationship with someone who couldn’t be serious about it. My friends felt it too and I can’t help but think they were involved in my decision. Especially because Alex didn’t like Max too much at first. He always thought that I deserved better. I’ve come to realize that there is nothing better. Max is the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm going to be with him for the rest of my life.
It’s nice having security like that, especially with a life like mine. My dad lives in California, all nice and comfortable with his new family. I was supposed to go visit him this weekend while Max was away but we got into a fight and I decided to stay in Roswell. Plus, life with my mom isn’t all too great. I wonder what she would be like if my dad and her would’ve stayed together. I think I might be happy and somewhat normal.
But that’s not how things turned out. If I leave my house again I get labeled a habitual runaway. And if that doesn’t give you an idea of what things are like then I don’t know what will.
Max still hasn’t called and it’s about 3:45, which means I have to leave my house. As comfortable as my bed is, I have work today and my shift starts in 15 minutes. The Crashdown isn’t too far from my house though, which is a good thing because I’d probably be late everyday.
Maria’s mom and dad own the Crashdown, so even if I was late I probably wouldn’t get fired. I grew up with Maria. When we were little, her hair was almost as dark as mine. She’s dyed it over the years to make it as blond as it is now, but I remember it before. We used to dress up in the same little outfits and do our hair the same. We called ourselves the Olsen Twins. When we were in middle school we even tried to start a singing group.
There are way too many memories to reminisce on at the moment. Like I said before I’m late. I grab my horrendous teal uniform, throw it on and I’m out the door in two seconds. I go out on my balcony and climb down the fire escape. I love that balcony. It’s where Max and I had our first kiss.
It was a week after we started going out. I remember we waited because I didn’t want our first kiss to be in school. He came over after school one day and we were doing homework together for Biology when it happened. I was reading something from the book and the next thing I knew he was kissing me.
Of course my mom walked in my room two seconds into it and immediately sent Max home, but the two seconds were the best of my life. No matter how hard things have been between us, that kiss reminds me of how much I love him.
So, it’s no surprise that I'm extremely scared to lose him right?
“You’re late, chica,” Maria says with a smile when I walk into the Crashdown.
“The song came on,” I tell her. “I had to listen to it.”
Maria nods. She knows not to say anything that might piss me off until I find out Max is safe. All she does is walk over to me and wipe her finger underneath my eyes. That’s why she’s my best friend. She always knows exactly what to do.
“He’ll be in soon.” And she leaves. I start my shift and try to keep my mind off Max. There are pictures of spaceships crashing into the desert but I know I'm not thinking about that.
The night goes by so slowly I feel like I'm going to shoot myself by the end of it. My customers are more picky than usual and I'm getting shit for tips. It’s not like I was having a good day anyway, right? Finally it’s closing time, and Maria offers to close for me so I can go home and get some sleep.
“Night, Maria,” I call as I leave the restaurant. She’s in the back sweeping so I'm not sure she heard me.
Driving down the road I start flipping through the stations. I’m trying to avoid the number one and five buttons on my radio because I know those are the only two stations that actually play the song. There’s nothing else on though so I hit number five.
“Baby boy, you stay on my mind, fulfill my fantasies.” I hate that song. I push the 1 button as fast as I can.
“And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave. ‘Cause your presence still lingers here, and it won’t leave me alone. These wounds won’t seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There’s just to much that time can not eras—,”
I shut off the radio. I'm at a red light so I put my car in neutral and put the e-brake on. I lean my head on the steering wheel and take a deep breath.
“It doesn’t mean anything.” I repeat to myself. I need to get home and check my messages. I worked for six hours so I don’t know if Max has called yet. I look up and the light is green.
Putting my car in gear, I pull out into the empty road. It was dark, so I didn’t notice the car until it was too late. He didn’t have his lights on. He forgot about those just like he forgot to stop at the red light.
The last thing I remember thinking about before I blacked out from how hard I was hit was Max. I just hoped he knew how much I loved him.
Ansleyrocks WarGirl Itzstacie roswellluver Angel eyes Gidget815 MilesToGo99- It's one of my favorites too. It's the reason I wrote this fic because it gave me the idea.
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Max’s POV – Present Time
“Dad, I need to come home,” I said into the phone. I was shaking so hard I couldn’t believe my voice sounded as steady as it did. I guess that was the power my dad had over me. He was a pretty intimidating guy, and I knew he wasn’t going to like what I was about to ask.
“Excuse me?”
“I need to come home, dad,” I said. “Liz is hurt. She was in a car accident.”
Wow. I didn’t think saying it would be so easy. The thought of it is so unthinkable that I figured it would be harder to get the words to leave my mouth. Saying it means accepting that it actually happened. I didn’t think I was ready to do that yet.
“You can’t just come home, son. You have a tournament to play in,” he replied. “Do you know how many colleges are going to be watching you this weekend?”
I should’ve expected this. First of all, when it came to my soccer, Edward Evans did not joke around. He was even more serious about it than I was and that was saying something. Secondly, he didn’t like Liz. He thought she was pulling me away from what he thought was the most important thing. That’s why I knew this would be hard.
“I don’t care about that right now!” I screamed at him. “This is more important! She’s in intensive care and I need to see here NOW!”
I had never been angrier in my entire life. I had never hated someone so much. Was he really going to keep me here while Liz could be…. dying? I felt more tears come when I thought about that.
“You will stay there and finish the tournament. You will see that girl when you come home.”
I couldn’t believe it. I slammed down the receiver so hard I heard a crack. This couldn’t be happening. There was no way I was stuck in Arizona while the girl I loved was lying in a hospital bed. I was leaving this place with or without my dad’s help.
I got up from my bed and ran to the closet, grabbing my suitcase that luckily I hadn’t unpacked yet. I grabbed everything I needed and ran out of the door. She was the only thing on my mind. My whole being was focused on getting to her before it was too late.
It killed me to think that I hadn’t seen her on Friday. She had asked if I could stop by before I left but I said I couldn’t. My dad actually wouldn’t let me, but now I wish I would’ve gone anyway.
I was running so fast that I didn’t even notice when my coach, Phillip Harding started running next to me. Before I knew it I was outside of the hotel and he was taking me to the van he had rented for the team. When I was in, he pulled out of the hospital and drove straight for the airport. I didn’t even have to say anything.
“It’s ok, Max,” he said as he drove. “We’re going to get you there. We’ll get you home to see her.”
I nodded but I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I was crying again. I tried to stare out of the window so he wouldn’t see. I hated when people saw me cry. The only person who had ever seen that was Liz, when my mother had passed away last year during the summer. She had held on to me for hours while I had cried, and the one thing running through my mind at this point was who would hold me while I cried this time? How would I find comfort for this?
I knew there would be none. This was the girl I was going to marry. She was going to be the mother of my children. We were going to live together in a big house and I was going to come home to her every night and wake up with her every morning. It was all planned out. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This wasn’t a part of the plan.
I needed her. She made everything about my life better. Whether she was just smiling at me, or kissing me for good luck before a game, or cheering harder than anyone in the stands. Every thing she did showed me how much she loved me. I needed that. I couldn’t lose it.
I had lost it once and I knew that I would never find it again if she wasn’t there. I would be alone for the rest of my life, holding on to the thought of her and what would’ve been. That wasn’t how he wanted to live his life.
Which is why she had to be okay.
“We’re here, Max,” Phillip says. I wipe my eyes and look at him. Why is he so sad? The sadness in his eyes is for me, but I don’t want it. People can’t be sad for me because it’s going to be okay. Liz is going to heal and get better. She’s going to come home and I'm going to visit her everyday until she’s completely okay. And then everything will be like it was before.
I grab my bag and we walk to the counter. I don’t even have to say anything because Phillip is taking control. I'm glad though. I don’t think I could form two sentences right now. The weight of what might happen is fully hitting me and it’s getting hard to breathe.
“Your flight leaves in half an hour, Max,” I hear. He’s putting a ticket in my hand and I see that he just paid $125 to change my flight. More tears come.
“Thank you. I’ll pay you back I promise.”
“Just get home safely and let that girl know that you love her,” he says. “That’s all I want from you.”
I can’t help it. I'm hugging him before I know what’s happening and I'm crying again. There’s a little comfort here. I'm thankful for this man who owes me nothing, because he’s giving me everything right now.
He steps back and looks at me. “It’ll be ok, Max.”
I nod and pick up my bag. He walks me to the gate and we say goodbye as I board the plane. I look at him and can’t help but think of what a great father he would be. I don’t even want to think of my own; whom I will never speak to again after this whole thing is over.
The whole way home my mind is on her. We’re getting closer to Roswell and I can almost feel her. I know that sounds crazy but it’s true. There’s something inside me that’s pulling me towards the place I know is home.
I'm fidgeting in my seat until I hear the fasten seatbelt light go on and the lady on the intercom tell us to prepare for arrival. I don’t even want to think about how I'm going to get from the Albuquerque Airport to Roswell. I could get a taxi and then get someone to lend me money for it. I would figure it out later, though.
The plane lands and I grab my bag. I'm one of the first ones off the plane. Walking towards the security checkpoint I hardly realize that someone is standing right in front of me until I'm wrapped in a huge hug. The person needs as much comfort from it as I do.
“Take me to her, Maria.”
She nods and leads me to her car, which wasn’t towed, thank god, because she left it in the emergency lane. We ride home in silent; the only thing on my mind is Liz. I just hope she knows how much I love her.
There isn’t enough cedar oil on the entire planet to calm my nerves right now. I just got a call from Mrs. Parker saying that Liz was in a car accident. Sometimes your life is going so perfect. Sometimes everything seems to be going your way. Michael and I were finally getting things together, my schoolwork was going ok, and my grades were up. Work wasn’t half as bad as it used to be.
I remember sitting in my room thinking that everything was perfect, and that was when my phone rang. Every time you think things are going great, something like this happens to send you crashing back into reality.
She can’t die. It’s really not an option. This girl that I grew up with, shared everything with, told everything to. My other half practically, and she thinks that she can just up and leave my life? We’re supposed to grow old together. Our houses are going to be right next to each other, and our daughters are going to be best friends and we’ll share everything just like we always have until the day we die.
That was our plan. This was the way things were supposed to happen. So this car accident is just going to have to go away. She’s going to have to walk out of that hospital room and smile at me the way she does when she knows exactly what I'm thinking and knows what to do about it.
She doesn’t want to be there either. I know that. She has so much going for her right now. Her relationship with Max is finally going perfectly, she’s taking all her advanced science classes next year for when she becomes a molecular biologist at Harvard. She wants to walk out of that room just as much as all of us are praying for her to.
We’re sitting huddled together in the waiting room. We haven’t even been allowed to see her yet. She’s sleeping, so we wouldn’t be able to talk to her, but I want to see her. I want her to know that we’re here for her, cheering her on, so she can get better. Isabel is sitting next to me, holding Alex’s hand tighter than I think is possible. I know Alex is squeezing just as hard.
He’s looking at me, and reaches for my free hand. Michael, just to assure me that he’s there, is holding the other one. I can’t even think about that now, because I’m staring at my best friend and I know what we’re both thinking.
How is this happening? How are we here? I try really hard not to think about what Alex must be thinking because I know I’ll start crying. His little Lizzie is hurt. The girl he’s treated like a sister since the day he met her is hurt and he can’t do anything to make it better. He always stood up for us, always protected us when he could, and now he can’t do anything. His eyes just look so sad, and I know that’s why.
I look away as tears fill my eyes. I don’t want to cry. Crying means I'm accepting that this is happening and I can’t do that. I want to be strong for everyone else. Tess and Kyle are holding onto each other to. I look at Kyle, my older brother, who was basically like a brother to Liz, too, and I feel sad again. He’s probably feeling like Alex is now. Even Tess looks like she’s about to cry. Tess and Liz had been good friends too; since Kyle and her had been dating since we were in middle school she was a member of our group.
I knew that if this really happened our group would either become stronger or totally fall apart. That’s one of the reasons why I didn’t want to think about it.
“What are we going to do?” Isabel asks quietly. We’re all thinking it; she’s just the first one to actually say something. “How can we lose her?”
A small sob comes from Tess and she buries her head in the crook of Kyle’s shoulder. He looks like he’s going to lose it. It’s all too much.
“We can’t lose her. She’s going to be okay,” Michael says from beside me. “We can’t start thinking like she’s going to…” he trails off and stares at me with a lost expression on his face. He doesn’t want to say it anymore than we want to hear it.
“She’s going to be okay,” I say finally, standing up and looking at everyone. “Stop it! Stop sitting here thinking she’s going to leave. She CAN’T leave us. We need her! I need her. She’s my Best Friend!” I’m hysterical and shouting at this point but I don’t care. Losing her is not an option. I won’t survive it.
Everyone is looking at me with tears in their eyes and I can’t take it. Don’t they understand that she’s going to be okay? Why don’t they see that? I can’t be in the room anymore. I can’t look at them and see the defeat on their faces. We all heard the doctor’s report. She’s in intensive care. She’s bleeding internally. She doesn’t have a much of a chance to live. We all heard it. It has to be a lie though. She’s Liz Parker. She’s full of life; she’s my best friend. I can’t accept that this is it. I refuse to.
I'm out of the room before they even know what’s happening. I’m going to see and her and no one’s going to stop me. I have to tell her how much I need her to stay with me. There’s no one by her room when I get there, so I slip inside without being noticed. I didn’t think it was going to be as hard to see her as it really is.
She’s lying on the bed, the thin blanket pulled around her but I can tell she is still cold. I want to find some way to make her warmer. I want to help her.
“Lizzie…” there’s no answer, but I didn’t really expect one. Did I? “Lizzie, please wake up. I need you to wake up and get better.”
People are moving outside of her room, so I quiet for a second. When they’re gone I move to sit next to her. I grab her hand gently. I try not to squeeze so hard, but I feel like I need to hold on to her. If I let her go then what if she’s be gone for good. I don’t want to let go of her hand at all.
“Liz, you know I’ve been thinking…and I decided that you’re not allowed to leave. I’m not saying the d-word. It’s not really an option. How am I supposed to sit here and even think that you’re going to die?”
More silence. I don’t like it.
“Answer me. Please. All you have to do is open your eyes and answer me. I know it seems like a hard thing to do but, you know, these doctors have so many drugs in you I’m sure you wouldn’t even feel it.”
I feel her grip tighten just barely. It might’ve been my imagination, but somehow I knew that she could here me. I had to do something to make her come back.
“Have you thought about Max? You’re going to break his heart. All of us will be nothing without you, Lizzie…Come on. We’re supposed to grow old together. Two old biddies with our cats, remember?” I smile as I quote a line from our favorite movie.
This is too much for me. It hits me suddenly and I can’t breathe anymore. I almost yank my hand from her weak grasp. I need to get out of here. I can’t sit here and look at this person who is so strong be so hurt. If anyone could pull through this it would be Liz. I would go crazy; Michael would cut himself off from the world, but not Liz. She was the strong one in our group.
Sitting here with her, watching her just lie there is too much. It’s making me accept something that I’m not ready to accept. My hand feels behind me for the doorknob. As much as I want to leave I can’t take my eyes off her. I’m scared that if I do that look will be my last.
I feel the cold metal and turn it, pushing the door open slightly. Before I turn to leave I stare hard at her, memorizing her features into my mind. I don’t want to cry, but the tears are coming faster than I can stop.
“You made a promise to me, Liz. When we were eight years old and we became “blood brothers” you made a promise and you’re not allowed to break it. You’re dying right by my side, Liz. That’s the way it ends, not like this. You’re not leaving me here…you promised,” I whisper.
Just turn and walk away, Maria. I need to get out, just get out. Finally I listen, but not before I tell her the most important thing.
“I love you Liz Parker. You’ll always be my best friend.”
The next thing I know I’m outside the room and I find Liz’s mom telling us about Max and how he’s coming home. One of us needs to leave. We have to get him here. I’m volunteering before I know it and everyone is staring at me. I don’t say anything; just grab my purse and head to the parking lot.
The whole drive there my mind is on Liz. I just hope she knew how much she meant to me, how much she changed my life, how much I loved her.
The journey from the car to the hospital room happened in a blur. I was surrounded by so many people that I could hardly think. I wasn’t even thinking of them. I was trying to focus on Liz.
“I want to see her.” It was all I could say, but somehow they understood. Mrs. Parker led me to the room and left me at the door.
I wanted to run in and see her. I wanted to stop wasting time. But I was frozen outside the door. My legs refused to move. My hand wouldn’t reach out and grab the knob. To tell you the truth I was scared. I didn’t know if I could handle seeing her like this.
A long time ago, Alex didn’t really like me. He didn’t think I was good enough for Liz. The truth was that he and I were exactly the same. We still are. Both of us will do just about anything to protect the girl lying just beyond this door. It’s a really hard thing for me to deal with at the moment because I know I can’t protect her right now. I can’t make it better.
All I want is to go in there and heal her with some kind of magic power, but things don’t work like that. Those are the kind of things you see on those cheesy WB dramas, the ones that Liz used to love watching.
Stop it, Max. She’s going to watch them when she gets out of here. We’re going to curl up on the couch together and fight over who should go out with who, and which girl is the biggest tramp and which boy is the biggest player. I’m going to spend every second that I can showing her how much I love her. I want to spend every second with her, and I refuse to leave this hospital room until she’s leaving with me.
I get myself to move. I’ve taken a step into the room. The door is open. I can’t see her yet, but I know I will in a second. The door swings open slowly and there she is. Her dark hair is matted to her head in certain places. There’s a cut above her right eye and bruises trailing down the left side of her face. I hardly notice any of that though. I just can’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is.
To me, she’s the girl sitting next to me in Biology. Her hair is down, and she’s smiling. I don’t know if she’s smiling at me, but I like to think she is. It’s the type of smile that lights up her eyes. This is the real Liz.
This person lying here defeated on a hospital bed cannot be the strong girl that I love. This Liz is cold, and silent. My Liz was loud, bright, and warm. This is the fantasy. The Liz I know is real.
This is my refusal to accept what’s happening. I don’t know who else came in here. I don’t know if they stood here and talked to her and said goodbye. I can’t do that. I’m not ready to let go of her.
“Liz?”
I’m in the room now. There’s a chair pulled up close to the bed. Her left arm is in a sling, but her right hand lies freely on the bed. I want to hold it. I never want to let it go. I’m sitting down in an instant, pulling the bed rail down, and my fingers are twining with her own.
“God, Liz. This can’t be happening.”
It’s true. This wasn’t supposed to happen. We were supposed to go farther than this. We were going to college together, we were going to share an apartment. I was supposed to wake up with her every morning and fall asleep holding her at night. I was supposed to make her Mrs. Evans. I can’t do that if this is real. I can’t grow old with her, raise our kids with her.
I can’t lose her.
How many times had we talked about it? Late at night on the phone or curled up on her couch when her mom was out with her friends, we played it out a million times in our heads. She was going to be my wife. We were going to fall in love with each other every day and spend our lives together.
What am I supposed to do if she’s gone? How am I supposed to move on? How are any of us supposed to move on? Maria didn’t talk the whole way home, but I was watching her when I wasn’t too absorbed in my own thoughts. She wasn’t taking this well at all, not that I expected her to. Her hands were shaking and her lips were tight. She was holding back her tears about as badly as I was.
Alex looked like he was going to lose it, too. They all did. Alex would be losing his “little sister”, Tess and Isabel would be losing a best friend, Kyle and Michael would be losing someone they had grown attached to over the years that we have all been friends. It was impossible to imagine. We were all so close; losing someone from our tight-knit group would kill us.
It all came down to the same question. How would we survive her? How would we live on after this?
“My dad’s going to kill me when I finally get home Liz.” I needed to talk to her. I needed to let her know that I was there. I needed to bring her back to me. “I could give a shit though. This is the only place I need to be. With you is the only place I've actually ever felt at…home…it’s like I was meant to be with you. I know we say that all the time, but I can’t help but think about how true it is. I was put here to love you. I know that. Just like you were put here to love me, so you can’t leave me Liz.”
I’m still holding her hand, and I jump when I feel her squeeze my own.
“I’m here, Liz. Wake up, please, Liz. I need you to wake up for me.” Tears are coming harder than they have the whole day. “God, I love you, Liz,” I choke out between sobs. My body starts to shake from the cries that I'm trying to hold back. I lean my head on the edge of the bed. I can feel her body against it, and I try to push my head a little closer.
I’ve got to be soaking the sheets of her bed, but I don’t care. The tears coming out of me wouldn’t stop for anything, anything but her waking up and tell me she loves me and this is all a bad dream.
I just want to stay here, crying with her. As hard as it is to believe just being next to her is making everything better. I’m drawing comfort from her. I can almost feel that familiar warmth radiating from her, pouring into me and making me whole again.
I can’t stop thinking of her. Her lips on mine, her hand in my hand, her arms wrapped around me; these are all the things I remember most about her. She’s wiping her tears on my shirt after a sad movie or a fight with her mom, she’s touching my cheek right before she leans up to kiss me. She’s running her fingers through my hair.
The only difference is, this time I can really feel it. I don’t want to look up. I don’t want to be disappointed when I see her with her eyes closed, sleeping. I can’t stop myself though. My head tilts upwards slowly and I see her. She’s looking down at me through half-closed eyes. As hard as it is for her, she’s smiling.
My head is up in an instant and my hands are grabbing both of hers. I reach over to kiss her lips quickly. It isn’t enough but I don’t want to push her. I don’t know what to say to her. I want to cry because I’m so happy but I don’t want her to see my tears. I want to be strong for her so she can pull through this.
“It’s funny, isn’t it?” she chokes out slowly. “I was so scared for you, but now I’m the one who has to go and you’re the one who has to let me.”
“I can’t do that, Liz,” I tell her. “You know I can’t do that. How can you ask me to do that?”
“I don’t want to say goodbye anymore than you do, Max. I wanted to be with you for the rest of our lives. It’s just going to happen a little differently.”
No, my mind is screaming. “No, Liz.” That’s right. Tell her. “You’re stronger than this. You need to stay with me; I need you.”
“And I need you. I need you to be strong for me, Max.” There are tears in her eyes too. “I need you to never forget about me, to always love me.”
I want to fight her but I can’t. Neither of us have the strength anymore. So, I nod.
I turn around at a knock on the door. Everyone is coming to check up on how she’s doing. We’re not going to be alone anymore. I want to lock the door and shut them all out. I want to keep her for myself, but I can’t. She knows this.
“You have to let them in, Max. You need them, too, and they need you.” Why is she so calm? Doesn’t she understand that she’s leaving me?
One last kiss and I walk to the door. My hand is on the knob, ready to let them in but I freeze.
“I will always love you, Liz Parker. I hope you know that.”
She smiles. “I do, Max. I always have. I just hope you know how much I loved you.” And that’s it. I’m pushed to the back of the room while everyone crowds around her.
She was talking to me like she was saying goodbye, but I'm not so sure that she believed she would have to mean it. It was more of a precaution. Looking at her, surrounded by our friends, I noticed a light that was back in her eyes just by them being there. I couldn't help but think that maybe there was hope. Maybe she would pull through. Maybe we wouldn’t have to survive Liz.
~~~~~~~~~ Epilogue Liz’s POV –12 years in the future.
I’ve missed dipping my toes into pools during the summer. Roswell used to get so hot sometimes that we’d jump in still wearing our clothes. My favorite part, though, was sitting on the edge just letting my feet dangle over the side.
I look at the little girl sitting beside me and I can almost feel her joy from the sensation. She’s three years old. Her birthday was a month ago on January 14th.
She’s beautiful. She has her daddy’s eyes. The amber color I used to love staring into for hours. She’s lucky that she got them. I don’t know whose hair she got exactly, but it’s dark brown. I could watch her for hours. I see so much of him when I look at her.
I want to run my fingers through her long hair, but I don’t want to disturb her. She looks so peaceful sitting by the side of the pool, leaning back on her elbows while her toes get wet. I look down and find myself in the exact same position. I can’t help but smile. This is what he wanted, for her to be exactly like me.
I don’t know how many times I come here, but I can never seem to leave when I do. It’s so quiet, so peaceful. Everything here is filled with love and when I look at it I want to cry with happiness, but I don’t.
We sit there for I don’t know how long. I hear footsteps, and that’s what makes us both look up. It’s him. He’s wearing the shirt that I love. Getting up, we move to stand by him. He picks her up and twirls her around and I watch with a smile on my face. He’s the greatest father.
The three of us walk to the front of the house. He’s holding her sandals in his hand, and slips them on her feet once she’s sitting in the car. After he buckles her in, he gets in and starts the car. She’s going to stay with her grandmother today. Every day on Valentine’s Day she goes to spend the night there.
I wait in the car as he takes her to the front door. I watch as she gives him a big hug before walking inside with her grandma. He’s back in the car after a few minutes, and we’re driving again.
I know where we’re going. He takes me here every year on this day. The song is playing and everything, just like it always is. I look at him and smile. When the car stops, he gets out without a word, but with a strange look on his face and I follow him again, but stay close behind. This is hard for him, and I don’t want to intrude.
He sinks to his knees. I want to cry but I can’t. Every time we come here I want to cry. He does. It’s the only place he’ll let himself break down about what happened. It’s the only place he ever truly said goodbye. He stays there for I don’t know how long, but as it starts to get dark he stands up and wipes at his pants.
“I love you,” he says finally. “I’ll always love you, Liz Parker.”
“I love you, too!” I scream, but he doesn’t hear me. He just turns and walks away, hands in his pockets, tears on his face.
I haven’t been able to cry in twelve years. I haven’t been able to hate, to TRULY love for over a decade. I haven’t felt anything since that day in the hospital when I let go of him, but when he walked by me just now I felt that. It was a slap in the face telling me that I would never be able to be with him again. I knew that and he knew that, but I hadn’t accepted it until this moment.
How could I? How could I give up my soulmate? I knew we would be together again, knew that our time here was cut short by an accident that neither of us had wanted. So, why would I ever give up the hope that we would always love each other? I knew that we would love each other for the rest of eternity, even if we would be spending it apart. We really were star-crossed lovers.
I turned and looked at the place he had just left when he had driven off. My eyes raked over the stone and I too sank to my knees.
Elizabeth Claudia Parker
May 16, 1983-February 14th, 2000
We know you’re watching us from heaven
Beloved daughter, ‘sister’, and friend
It was over. I would have to let go. I was gone and there was nothing either of us could do to change it. It had been hard, but he had done what none of them had thought they would be able to do.
He had survived.
~~~~~~~~~~
I know, not the best dreamer ending, but I think this was the best ending for this story. I hope you guys liked it. I'm glad that you guys gave me feedback. I actually finished this story!! Go me. Considering this is the first Roswell fic I've ever finished you guys should feel pretty special.
Well please tell me what you REALLY thought now that it's over.
Thanks for your feedback and support! Also, look for my next AU fic, DELIVER ME, coming soon to a board near you...(sorry couldnt help it)
Alex
