It won't be very long. In fact it should just be this one post. But please bear with me...Title: Loving Life
Rating: TEEN
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of Roswell simply borrowing
Category: Liz's POV (M/L I guess)
Summary: This is set after Maria comes to visit Liz at boarding school in Vermont. It may be sad but hopefully a happy ending. It will also be very short. Also, thanks to Jen for helping me correct the mistakes I made when first posting this story!
I'm very sorry about that 
****
Part 1
When did it come to this I wonder? When did I Liz Parker stop living? I look around at the dusty attic, the musty mattresses I'm laying on and the bottle in my left hand. If anyone had told me three years ago I'd be drinking my problems away just wanting to feel, something, anything again, I would tell them their full of crap. Most people drink to feel nothing I drink to feel something. I look at the shambles that is my life and wonder when I got here. I used to be so happy, so alive, so innocent and naive, so ready to experience life and love...what happened?
Maria called a little while ago from the airport. She begged me to come back with her and I asked her what one thing did I have to go back for? she just looked at me. I hugged her goodbye, turned and walked away. After everything she was the one to go back, not me. I take another sip from the bottle with each sip I hope for a feeling, any feeling, but all I get are the old memories of the people we used to be. The people we would have become if I hadn't changed the future. Before I killed Alex. I blame myself, I listened to future Max and changed things. How could I not see it coming. Didn't I know by changing the future I'd be changing everyone? My head starts to ache and I try to remember when I got up to get the second bottle of liqour. Everyone is different now. When did Maria become a rockstar and forget about how much Michael cares for her? When did Michael open up and let himself get hurt by the only person he ever loved? When did Isabel come to terms with Alex's death and fall in love with another man? Future Max never said it would be like this...that by changing the future I would be moving into this hell hole of a timeline i'm in now. And Max, when did Max stop looking at me like I was the only girl in the whole room?
Max isn't a King, Isabel isn't a Princess and Michael's not a a general. We used to be so young, none of us ever asked for any of this. We never asked for the responsibilty of two worlds or a destiny that was never our own. I guess we all changed when we were forced to become people we never really were.
I'm the one who hasn't changed though I'm still the same, and that's why I no longer fit in. The head in my ache is unbearable now, I feel something wet on my upper lip and reach up to find that my nose is bleeding. The shiny red on my fingertips looks harsh in the dim attic light. My lungs feel heavy and my vision is blurry, I can feel my body shutting down, maybe it's finally all over, maybe it's my destiny to die alone not even in my right mind because of the alcohol.
****
Part 2
And then I see him, the old him, walking towards me. Am I dead? I wonder. No, I'm in the place between two worlds, in the place where all other lost souls are. I can hear him now, smell him, he's calling me home. I can feel his warmth radiating into my cold body the alcohol is freezing my veins, and I have only one thought...I want to die. I no longer want to live in a world I have no place in, one that i'm no longer a part of.
When I changed the future I didn't just kill Alex I killed all of them. I killed the people the were becoming, and then in turn the souls of my friends my real friends left me. I was all alone with the new people they were becoming. I was the only one who didn;t change, I was the only one who didn't die.
Maybe I didn't die with them because you have to go through hell before you can see heaven. And I saw it then, calling to me, I could feel myself above my body looking down at the dingy mattress I used to be laying on, the blood on my upper lip, and the blood pooling at my wrist where it's cut from the bottle. I don't feel the pounding behind my eyes anymore, or the sting of the alcohol in my cut, but most of all i no longer feel cold.
The light around me is so bright I know it should be hurting my eyes but it doesn't, and then a familar place begins to dim into view. I'm searching back through my memories trying to place it. The Crashdown, my family's, restaurant. I walk up to the window and peer in. They're all sitting at the tables talking and laughing. Alex, Isabel, Michael, Maria, and Max. They look younger somehow. No longer burdened by the weight of two worlds or destinies--they're happy. I can't wait to join them and as I'm walking in I realize that it's not so hard to walk anymore. How ironic that I finally feel more alive now that i'm dead.
I'm immediately pulled into a hug by Maria and Alex. I'm bombarded with the question of, "What took you so long?" I ignore the question for the time being and smile at Isabel and Michael while making my way towards Max.
He's looking at me, like i'm the only girl in the whole world, I feel my stomach flip-flop like it used to when he looked at me like that. And at that moment I know I've found my place. The tears come unwillingly as I lean in to kiss him. The passion that explodes in our kiss is overpowering after not having felt it in so long. It has been so long; since i've kissed Max, my Max. I pull back slightly as he smiles down at me. I turn away from him and look around the room.
So this is where they've been all this time. I know i'm dead and in the most perfect heaven that could ever be created for me, for us.
But I also know that somewhere else, not so far away. Another time perhaps, my parents are mourning over my unexpected death, Maria is a rock star, Michael is a broken soul, Isabel is married and pregnant and Max is one step closer to finding his son and fulfilling his destiny with Tess. But that is all part of the other timeline that I left, the one i'm no longer a part of. Here time doesn't exist. Here we are the people we were meant to become before Future Max. Here we are happy.
I look back up at Max, "You came for me". "When did I ever stop?" he asks. I turn back to Maria, once again my best friend, Michael, Isabel, and Alex and answer their question. "I guess it just took me a little longer to find my way home."
I'm where I belong now, and the way I know that is; i'm once again loving life and loving love.
The End
~Amelia