Title: A Heart Half Broken
Author: Benz AKA ps_dreamer
Category: Liz-centered. (One part)
Summary: It’s short. Just read it.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Nada. Zilch.
Author’s Note: I don't believe I posted here at RF before. Anyway, I was in a dark mood when writing this. So… if you’re not up for angst. Don’t read. Oh, and feedback is very much appreciated
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Crying.
Hot tears streamed down her pale face but she continued to run as fast she could…as if her life depended on it. But it wasn’t her life…it was her heart that depended on it.
“Liz! Wait!” he called.
She kept on running- away from him, away from this place, away from everything. All she wanted to do was to disappear off the face of this Earth and cease to exist.
It hurt. It hurt so much. Like someone had stabbed a knife into her heart and deliberately twisted it so she would suffer tenfold. She hoped that this was a nightmare and soon, she would find herself back in her warm bed in Roswell.
“Liz!” he called again, his voice sounded much further away.
Just a little bit more, she told herself. But her feeble legs protested and fell onto the ground with fatigue. Crying. The tears kept coming. It was weak, she knew. But she couldn’t help it. All her life, she had been dreaming about him. She’d been hoping…that one day, maybe they would have a chance to be together. Then that one day came. What did he do? He tricked her into believing him, and threw everything right back at her face.
Liz wiped the tears away angrily. Her hands tainted with the rundown mascara that was once in perfect condition. She knew she was a mess but she could care less. All she cared about was running…and hiding. Somewhere. Some place. Where no one would be able to see her ever again.
She ordered her legs, with a brutal force, to move, struggling to continue her journey.
“Liz!” His voice rang out once again. It sounded fainter than the previous time, indicating how much distance were between them. Then it dawned on her that he didn’t run after her.
Bet he didn’t even contemplate it, she thought bitterly. Go figure. What did she expect? He didn’t come for her when things were rocky. What made her think that this time would be any different? That he would run after her, begging her to come back to him? He was probably happy that she was out of his life once and for all.
It was all an illusion, she realized. Everything that existed between them. She thought it was true love but it was merely an illusion, a mirage, a fantasy of hers. One sided, unrequited love.
She was holding on to the last shred of hope. The wedding. But too soon, he had tear her dream apart.
Now, she only wondered why God would choose her to fall in love with him, of all men in the world. Why him?
“Liz!” This time, she could barely heard him. The sound became like a soft whisper in the eerie night.
His soft whisper used to lure her to sleep when she was having a bad dream. It would calm her thundering heart and boiling blood whenever she saw his handsome face. It would bring her the sense of comfort and security when she felt lost. It would evoke the most intimate pleasure, a female could experience in a life time. It would lifted her spirit up when she was in a foul mood.
No more would his soft whispers elicit any of those feelings.
Instead, it caused a swift sensation of dread and hopelessness. A reminder of what could have been. A reminder of the cold, harsh reality.
Her pace slowed as she heard no more sound. She walked leisurely towards the park. Both hands held on to the hem of her flowing white gown.
The more she was trying to get away, the more she was confined. Trapped in her own memory. What a paradox.
Why is it that everywhere she go has to remind her of him?
She walked over to the nearest bench and sat down. Her body was starting to get tired but not her mind. It kept on going like an indefatigable motor.
The first time she met him, it was like a thunder bolt striking upon her heart. He was charming and simply irresistible.
His eyes…they were so beautiful and mysterious. Just one look into them had her captivated. Not only they held her attention captive, they held her heart too. She knew right then. He was it for her. There would be no one else.
Many people commented on how she loved too easily, too strongly and too fully. But she believed that an intense passion comes once in a life time. So when she finally had the chance to feel its depth, she embraced it whole-heartedly.
Maybe with the wrong person.
Did she regret it?
She did not have the answer.
Strolling down the cold street, the lamplight shone dimly in the darkness of the night. This only served to darken her already gloomy mood. It embossed her dejected state of mind and body.
Lost in her reminiscence, she was powerless to prohibit her thoughts from going down the painful memory road.
The meetings. The dates. The loving. The playful banters. The good times.
Everything seemed perfect.
But were they real at all? Or just acts?
Everyone thought they were the ideal couple.
No one knew half of the ugly bits.
When she found out about him and another woman, she was enraged. But damned her love for him. Because of that, she tolerated the vicious situation by not saying anything. She knew it was not the right thing to do. But at that time, it seemed to be. She did not want to lose him.
Her life was fine, or so that was what she kept telling herself. She almost forgot that the other woman existed. Almost.
On the day of the wedding, it was suppose to be the most joyous day of her life. Her family and closest friends were there. Support, they said. He was there too, ready to step foot into marriage together with her.
“Liz,” he had uttered her name so lovingly that she thought he meant it. For a fleeting moment, her hope soared, believing that he had decided to cherish her forever. Only her forever.
However, the feeling died when she appeared.
She.
The other woman.
That bitch, Liz fumed.
The blond woman had walked into the church so arrogantly that she wanted to rip off the yellow streaks out, strand by strand. The woman demanded for him to make a choice.
Blonde or brunette.
Oh, she hoped it was that easy.
The lady claimed that she was pregnant with his child. The bump on her stomach indicated so. This created uproar among the guests. The humiliation was unbearable. Men started talking about her. Women started talking about her. Even children started talking about the pitiful bride with a to-be-husband who cheated on her.
The woman’s name was Tess. Such a distasteful name. What kind of a name is Tess anyway?
She ruined everything.
Not only her of course. Liz had to put a blame on him too. He said he loved her but what did he do behind her back? He cheated on her! But further more, he got the woman pregnant. Extremely unfaithful and adulterous.
And those sweet words were for nothing.
It became so excruciatingly insufferable, painfully embarrassing and hurtful beyond words.
She had chose to act on her instinct. That was to get out of there.
So she ran and ran…ended up alone in the park.
It was all because of him.
Him.
Liz felt as if her heart has been shattered into trillion of pieces. Like numbness had taken over and her heart refused to feel. But inside, she knew it wasn’t true. If that was the case, then why was she hurting? Hurt was a feeling too wasn’t it? Along with pride, joy, anger, jealousy and sadness.
Deep inside, there was a weird feeling nagging her. A part of her felt warmed and…relieved? Was it possible? Was a small part of her really felt happy that he did what he did?
She laid her back against the bench, gazing up at the green canopy. The greenness of the surrounding helped calm her raging emotions. Or was it the silence of the night that did the job? Peace. It settled upon her so smoothly, unknowingly. Touched her like the softest of feathers. Slowly. Delicately.
Calm.
She didn’t know how long she was there at the park, lost in her own thoughts. However, a sparkling light at the corner of her eye diverted her attention from the disturbing memories. She cocked her head, gazing at the source of the faint, white glow.
The ring.
Her wedding ring.
A heart-shaped diamond ring. The golden band embossed with their initials. How romantic. How significant. But was it really?
She did not know what to believe anymore.
She had lived in a cocoon for all her live. This was the first time she felt the harshness of the world. Life was all about two things. Truth and lies. Unfortunately for her, her life was a lie.
Now that her mind was cleared, she recalled the unfamiliar feeling a moment before.
Relieve?
Happy?
Her mind, once again, was filled with pictures of him.
What is he doing now? She wondered. Is he thinking of me? Does he regret not running after me? Or is he glad I’m gone? Does he think I’m weak? That I’m just weak, foolish little girl? And will be he laughing at me with her? At my idiocy? How they could go behind my back without me knowing?
Laughing. That was it. He must be laughing at her. She was so stupid to believe him in the first. Damn him! Damn love! That bastard.
She had to prove him wrong! She had to show him that she was not some weak, foolish little girl. She had to show him that she was not some sort of a doormat that anyone could step on whenever they wanted. No.
Liz Parker is more than that. Way more.
I will and I can forget you, Max Evans. She thought in determination.
At the moment, she was on the edge of disillusionment.
All her life, she had been living it for him. When it was just that- her life. It was not too late to change now, to live her life for herself. Not for anyone else. Certainly, not for him anymore.
Looking up at the sky, in the distant, she could see the orange sunrise on the brink of the horizon.
It was dawn already.
Totally consumed by her thoughts, she was unaware of her surroundings. Time passed by so fast. She was here the whole night without acknowledging it. Her parents probably sent out a search party to search for her. Her friends were probably worried. But he…
For a few minutes, she sat still, eyes closed. Just relishing the warm sunray and the gentle breeze that enveloped her petite, yet strong, frame. Her brown hair flowed with every whiff of the wind.
Then she knew. She knew that no matter what he did or how much he hurt her. He wouldn’t be able to break her because her heart was only half broken. The other half was too strong-willed to be ruptured.
With that thought in mind, she strode up to the nearby bank. She slowly slid the ring off her left hand and held it in her palm. It glinted for the last time as she, with all the might she had left, threw it in the running water. She watched as it followed down the stream until it was out of sight.
Goodbye.
...
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