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Favorite Science Fiction Story
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Without You
Author: Fred
Category: M/L + CC
Rating: Mature (Language, Sexuality, brief nudity - LOL)
Disclaimer:The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN and whoever else - but not me. They are not mine and no infringement is intended. Without You written by Motley Crue.
Summary: Liz disappears and Max embraces his alien side. What happens when Liz resurfaces?
A/N:This story starts after (well years after) the scene from BIY printed below. (Everything in the show made sense to me up until that point so that is where I'm starting.) One little thing about my Serena, she is Creole. I am not, so her grammar was something I am not 100% sure about. Just take it as it is. No need to critique. Oh yeah - one last thing - I am not great at chapter separation. I just write scenes and put them together - when I hit a wall I'm finished with that part. So basically a chapter could be really long or really short. The third season as it applies to other characters will be incorporated. Just a head's up. Langley has never seen Liz.
From "Destiny"
Liz, when I was in that room, and they did what they did to me. You're what kept me alive. The thought of you. The way your eyes look into mine. Your smile. The touch of your skin. Your lips. Knowing you has made me human.
From "Baby It’s You"
TESS: Max, she's just had a few questions about my powers, that's all.
MAX: : New theory?
LIZ: I just wanted to know some things about mind control and I thought--
MAX: : Oh, so Tess killed Alex. Is that your theory?
LIZ: No.
TESS: Max, she didn't say that.
MAX: : That's what you're thinking, why don't you just ask it?!
LIZ: Max, of course that's not what I'm thinking!
MAX: : Tess, did you kill Alex?
TESS: Max.
MAX: : What were you doing on the night that he died?
LIZ: Will you stop it?!
MAX: : Go ahead! what were you doing?!
KYLE: She was with me. We were watching Gladiator on video.
MAX: : An alibi. From one of your own.
LIZ: Can I leave now?
MAX: : Yep.
That night, Liz walked out of the house and disappeared.
Teaser (7years later)
Her tears were so heartbreaking; her lips were so full and soft. "Fuck it!" He couldn’t resist any longer. He knew that he had to heal the pain. He gabbed her, pulled her to him and kissed her. He needed to kiss her. He needed to be one with her. He needed the connection that he once shared with her. He needed to find her and his humanity. She resisted at first but he held on. He held on to her as if both their lives depended on it. He was determined to find the connection, to find the answers and to find himself. He could feel her as she stopped her resistance, as she put her arms around him and kissed him back. She kissed him with the same urgency, as if she was also looking for the connection, but it didn’t come. He stopped and looked at her, tears brimming in both their eyes, they both felt then that the connection was lost forever. They lost everything these years they had been apart, she lost her memory, he lost his humanity, they had lost their hope, their reason for living, but they had lost something much more important, the ability to heal each other and with it their destiny. Would they ever be able to find it again?
Without You
Motley Crue (1989)
Without you, there's no change
My nights and days are gray
If I reached out and touched the rain
It just wouldn't feel the same
Without you, I'd be lost
I'd slip down from the top
I'd slide down so low
Girl you'd never, never know...
Without you, without you
A sailor lost at sea
Without you, woman
The world comes down on me
Without you in my life
I'd slowly wilt and die
But with you by my side
You're the reason I'm alive
But with you in my life
You're the reason I'm alive
But without you, without you
Without you, my hope is small
Let me be me all along
You let the fires rage inside
Knowing someday I'd grow strong
Without you, without you
A sailor lost at sea
Without you, woman
The world comes down on me
Without you in my life
I'd slowly wilt and die
But with you by my side
You're the reason I'm alive
But with you in my life
You're the reason I'm alive
But without you, without you...
I could face a mountain
But I could never climb alone
I could start another day
But how many, just don't know
You're the reason the sun shines down
And the nights, they don't grow cold
Only you that I'll hold when I'm young
Only you...as we grow old
Without you in my life
I'd slowly wilt and die
But with you by my side
You're the reason I'm alive
But with you in my life
You're the reason I'm alive
But without you, without you..
Part 1
6-1/2 Years later.
Rain was threatening when Serena sat down at her friends table in front of the St. Louis Cathedral. "Madam Abigail will I get laid tonight?"
Gail looked across the table at her friend. "Let's see, give me your hand." Serena offered Gail her hand. "You are beautiful and sexy and you will be drinking, you will wake up with someone in the morning."
"God I hope not - I really try to kick them out before daybreak." She took her hand back and looked up at the sky. . ." Laplie tombe, ouaouaron chante.” Gail looked at her questioningly. Serena answered the gaze. "When the rain is coming, the bull-frogs sing.. Sorry - thank my dearly departed mother for making me learn French, well the Creole dialect at least. Most of the upper crust here in New Orleans learns real French but my mother insisted that we learn the "old" ways. Lucky me!"
Gail giggled at that. Serena was the upper crust. She owned one of the more historical houses in the Vieux Carre. If you went on a tour of the old homes in New Orleans you could hear how Serena ended up with the house but she would never tell you. Actually Serena never talked about herself much at all. She was just a fun loving party girl with (what seemed to be) a torrid past, but no one (not even Gail, one of her closest friends) really knew anything about it. There had been clues over the years and people did talk but nothing was more then a rumor. What you saw with Serena was what you got - and nothing more. Gail, a psychic could not even read her. She had tried but all she ever got was images of parties and men, everything got dark and foggy beyond that. Gail figured that Serena had built a wall around her inner self to protect her from the past. Madame Cassandra, Gail's savior and mentor, had always said that was why Gail and Serena got a long so well. Gail had a wall too. Gail of course would complain to Cassandra that her "wall" was not one of her own making. Cassandra would always tell her that her memory loss was of course one of her own making - she just didn't remember making it. When and if the time came that she needed the memories back, they would come. This was never a comfort to Gail but she accepted it because she really didn't have an argument against it.
Serena was continuing to babble. "So Boo, it's about to rain - you need to quit. I was hoping that you would be going out with us tonight. I have tourists in but after we make the obligatory run to Pat O's we can actually go somewhere fun - maybe karaoke at the Cat's Meow. Tourists always like that and so do you."
"You can actually sing. Since I can't, I don't fantasize about singing old 80's songs in public."
"Oh you always have fun - even if you won't sing. Anyway, I'm buying the tequila."
Gail thought about it. She wasn't tired and once the rain started she wouldn't have anymore customers. "I'll go - where should we meet."
"Just go get your clothes and get dressed at my house. It's closer to Bourbon anyway. Then tonight you can just stay in one of the guest rooms. You know how I love lots of company."
"Yeah - ok - I'll pack up and be there in about an hour."
"See you then babe."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max was asleep at the compound when all of a sudden he woke up to yelling. Michael and Maria were at it again. He got out of bed, pulled on some clothes, and walked downstairs. They were in the kitchen yelling about the milk or some other idiotic thing. Max entered the room, unnoticed. "What the HELL is going on in here!?!" he asked.
Maria cringed when she heard Max's voice. She knew she should have kept her voice down. Max was always dismissive to her and the other humans but when he got up on the wrong side of the bed he was just plain mean all day. "I'm sorry Max." She said and started to walk out of the room.
"No Maria - you stay in here." Max commanded. "I want to know what was so fucking important that you needed to yell at the top of your lungs."
Michael tried to diffuse the situation. "Look Max it was me - I was irritating her on purpose. It won't happen again. I thought you were already awake. I'm really sorry."
Max was tired and figured he had made his point so he let it drop - he wasn't in the mood. He waved his hand, signaling Maria to leave. After she was gone he grabbed a drink from the fridge and sat down at the table. "Is the world coming to an end today?"
"Not yet - but only a few have checked in. It just might be a slow day."
Max was tired of the battles but it was his life and he accepted it. Other's had come, some to help, some to destroy turning his world on earth into a battleground. He had the naive belief, a long time ago, that the Skins would be the last of them but Khivar had sent more. Each looking for the Granolith. Max had a group of scientists researching it but he still didn't understand what was so damn important about it. They had to move it a few years ago when the traitor told Khivar where it was and now no one knew exactly where to find it except the Royal Four. Even the scientists didn't know. Ava would mind warp most of them so they would not remember anything about it when they were done being useful. The rest Langley took care of. Max had wanted to just kill them all but Isabel and Ava had a fit, threatening to leave if he didn’t find another way. He had agreed only when Ava convinced him that she could keep them from ever remembering anything. It was ironic; he was the one who pulled his "family" kicking and screaming into the human world and in the end they had all made the choice to embrace humanity while he had chosen to detest it. He allowed the others to have their humans, but only because he needed the four together. "I'm going out. Have Isabel contact me if anything comes up."
"Sure." Michael answered, relieved that Max was leaving.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Another round!!!" Serena yelled to the bartender. They were all having a great time. Gail had been dancing with the guys while Serena and the other girl would go sing.
Gail turned towards Serena. "No laughing but I am having trouble remembering your friend’s names."
Serena smiled and started handing out the drinks. "This is Rich, Ron, Greg, and Chelle."
"And which one are you going to bed with tonight?" Gail asked under her breath, laughing at everything now.
"What makes you think . . ." Gail gave her another knowing look. "ok - Ron, Rich and Chelle belong together and before you ask - you are not being set up with Greg - Miss Pure - but you are welcome to him if you want him. He wouldn't say no - he thinks you are cute."
"God I hate that word." Serena was always referred to as beautiful and sexy, Gail was always cute.
"So have you decided to sing?"
"No way in hell, I'll just be a groupie."
"Suit yourself babe." Serena turned to Ron. "Paradise?"
Ron just smiled, gulped down his shot and followed Serena to the stage."
Gail turned to Chelle. "So this guy sings too?"
"He has always had a hard time saying no to her and she needs a man to sing Paradise by the Dashboard Light. She's always loved that song."
Gail just nodded. She knew even drunk that Serena's friends would never talk about her past. She didn't know if it was because Serena swore them to secrecy or if they were as much in the dark as she was.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max turned to the woman lying in his bed. He had thought she was pretty earlier that night but now she just disgusted him. "I'm done. You can leave now."
The woman looked at him like she was going to cry but she got up out of the bed and started to put on her clothes. She came over to kiss him but he just moved away from her so she couldn't.
"This is the last time, Max."
Max just shrugged, got up and walked to his bathroom. He heard the bedroom door slam a few minutes later. He laughed. There were a lot more where she came from. Max had learned a long time ago that being cruel was the easiest was to rid himself of the bitches. Hell, all they wanted from him was to be a queen anyway. Well, there was only one Queen Bitch and Max had killed her off years ago. He kind of smiled at that thought. If these women knew that being his queen might be the death of them then he might not have to be cruel at all. Maybe he would have Langley start telling everyone how Tess died. Of course then it would be harder to find someone to come to his bed. Maybe not though - he was still king.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gail woke up feeling queasy and uneasy. That is what she called it when she was hung over and she had another dream. The dream was always the same. She would have a feeling of complete terror and then a man with beautiful dark eyes would come to her and tell her that everything would be ok. The man would make her feel safe but then, as quickly as he appeared, he would disappear into oblivion and she would be alone waiting for the terror. She didn't know which part of the dream bothered her more. The terror or the man. They both seemed so real but the man was something tangible.
She walked out of her bedroom in Serena's house and down the back stairs to the kitchen. She needed some water and some Excedrin. She heard music in the living room and decided to go through there on the way back.
"Queasy and uneasy again?" Serena was sitting in the dark alone on the floor of her living room listening to some obscure misery music (that was what Gail called it.) Serena's mood was always up until the alcohol started wearing off - then she had this ritual. That was the good thing about Serena, Gail never asked why she sat in the dark and Serena never asked about Gail's dreams. It was kind of like an unspoken rule. "You want to sit?"
Gail sat down next to Serena. She listened to the music for a while.
Serena started. "So I've heard you scream out during your dreams. I'm not going to ask you about them and tomorrow I won't even bring up this conversation but you can always talk to me if you want." Gail nodded as Serena continued. "You know, I was at Harvard for a while in the pre-med program. I don't want you to be impressed or anything, the reason I'm telling you is that I still have a lot of friends from back then and I don't want you to think they are quacks. Anyway, if you ever want, I can make some calls, they may be able to help you get your memories back."
Gail nodded but ignored the offer. "So why did you leave Harvard?"
"I just didn't like it. I got involved with Physics and transferred to another school."
"You left Harvard?" Gail couldn't believe it. "For what? MIT?"
Serena smiled. "Actually - yes."
"Your serious? I can't believe you would do that. I always wanted to go to Harvard."
"Always? What does that mean? You only remember the last three years."
"Oh my God! I don't know where that came from. Do you think that is a memory?"
Serena just giggled like a school girl. "Gail I think you had a memory! We should talk science. Maybe you were a science geek like me."
"I doubt you were ever a geek. So ask me something."
As the night wore on it became apparent that Gail was a "science geek" before she lost her memory. She wasn't as knowledgeable as Serena but she could keep up and when she didn't understand something Serena only had to explain it once or twice and Gail would catch on. It was so wonderful. Finally, Gail got up. "I'll let you get to bed. I've kept you up most of the night and you have your friends to entertain today."
"It's ok. I am having fun. Hell, the misery music has been off for a while and I don't even care. This has been good for me too. Plus I never really sleep much. Hey - let's go make breakfast."
"What do you mean let's go make breakfast? You don't cook."
"Ok what I meant to say is let's go get up Greg. He is a wonderful cook and we can talk to him while he does it. We might even be able to pour some juice or something."
Gail laughed. "He's your friend, you go wake him and I’ll start the coffee."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We lost two who were on a reconnaissance mission and one of the scientists couldn't be mind warped anymore."
Max listened as Langley gave his daily report. "You took care of it?"
"Yes I did but we are going to need a replacement or two."
"Suggestions?"
"Well I had two but since the men came back there only seems to be one. Dr. Baptiste, lives in New Orleans. No known family, only one close friend and she has a habit of disappearing every once in a while." Langley handed Max a picture that was taken for surveillance. "That's her -that's the friend - easy enough to deal with. I can make it look like a mugging."
Max threw the picture down without looking. He really could care less what this woman looked like or who the friend was. "That's fine. Let me know when you have her. Anything else?"
"No sir. That is all for now." Langley turned and walked out of the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gail sat at her table. It was still early and she had had a string of customers but she was tired and still feeling bad from the alcohol she consumed the night before. To top it all off when she had finally gotten to her spot an artist had tried to move in on it. God she wanted to go home but there was rent to pay so she stayed. Serena came by to say hi. "If I have one more teenage girl come by and ask me if her boyfriend is cheating on her - I'm going to scream."
Serena laughed. "I suppose you are still feeling the effects of last night’s tequila."
"Hell yeah. You really need to make me stop once in a while."
"Hey, I'm not your mother or even your older sister - not my job. It's hard enough to make sure you don't go home with freaks."
"Well, Serena darlin', thank you so much for keeping me from freaks."
"Anytime. Going out tonight?"
Actually, I think I might be able to get a good night's sleep for once."
"Suit yourself Boo. Cila qui rit vendredi va pleure dimanche. Sorry, doing it again. He who laughs on Friday will cry on Saturday. If you change your mind . . . ."
"I won't - not tonight - maybe tomorrow."
"Ok then - later."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He's inhuman, Michael!" Maria was so tired of Michael's loyalty towards Max. "He had that scientist killed because Ava couldn't mind warp him anymore. The man was innocent."
Michael didn't know what to say. He knew Maria was right but he understood why Max had done it. "The man was not innocent! Max makes the tough decisions so no one else has to. Cut him some slack."
"Oh yeah - I forgot - we should be thankful. Next time I see the son of a bitch I'll be sure to remember to thank him."
"Maria, don't start. I don't want to have to worry about what Max might do to you."
"What? Will he kill me too? What if I wanted to leave? Would he let me?"
Michael looked worried. He actually didn't know anymore if he could stop Max from killing her, not after what Liz had done. "Do you want to leave?"
Maria softened some. "No I don't want to leave, I love you, but I'm tired of living like this."
Michael wrapped his arms around Maria to soothe her. "I know, I know." He bent down and kissed her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gail awoke from her dream and couldn't get back to sleep. Her dream or the man in it, woke her up and now kept her awake. She looked at the clock. 1:00am. She got out of bed and pulled on some jeans. She was going for a walk to try and clear her mind.
She walked towards the Quarter along the riverfront. She loved this area. Late at night, no one was ever around, it seemed so peaceful when just a few blocks away there was so much excitement going on. She was lost in her thoughts when she heard a very heated argument.
"DAMN IT SERA . . ."
Gail turned to look. In the distance she saw a rather large man screaming at Serena.
Serena looked crazed. "I DON'T KNOW! TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I DON'T CARE!" Serena then muttered something else under her breath and started to walk away.
The man obviously wasn't done yet though. He grabbed Serena and pushed her up against a wall. He got right in her face. "WE ARE NOT FINISHED!”
Gail watched as Serena looked up at him. There was a kind of fierceness to her. She was not backing down. Gail was getting nervous. Was this man going to hurt her only friend? Visions were going through her mind of the night Madame Cassandra had been killed. She started to run towards the couple, screaming Serena’s name. She was not going to lose another friend.
As she got closer she could hear Serena yelling at the man. “You left - you couldn’t believe that the child was yours! Now you find out I wasn’t the slut you thought I was and you want everything you lost. Well, too fucking bad!”
“Don’t you get it? I came back.”
“Oh yeah – I forgot – out of the goodness of your heart you came back to claim the bastard child. Thank you so much. I should kiss your feet now.”
Gail stopped in her tracks. They were so engrossed in their argument that they hadn’t seen her, but she was close enough to hear and see everything now. The man was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. A little too rugged for Gail but still very good looking. She looked at his eyes. They were filled with anger but Gail saw beyond that. He couldn’t hurt Serena.
He continued to yell at Serena. “You really don’t get it – do you? I didn’t come back out of the goodness of my heart. I came back because . . .”
Serena cut him off. “I don’t want to hear it! It is just more of your lies.”
“MY LIES!?! What about yours!?!”
“Whatever, this all really doesn’t concern me anymore. I thought it might still but now I know it doesn’t. Goodbye!!!!” She turned again to walk away. That was when she saw Gail. Serena smiled at her although the anger was still in her eyes. “Hi there, I didn’t see you there.”
“That’s ok. I shouldn’t have sneaked up on you. I just saw you arguing and I thought you might be in some kind of danger.” Gail looked up at the man and added “I’m really sorry.”
He smiled at her. "That's ok.” Then he turned to Serena. "I'm leaving but this is not finished." With that he pushed his way passed Serena and walked away.
Gail watched the man leave and then turned and looked questionly at Serena.
"That would be an ex. He's pissed."
Gail nodded her head - that seemed to be an understatement. She wasn't going to ask. Part of the friend's agreement but she couldn't say anything. "Is there something that I can do . . . do you want to talk about it?"
"Thanks babe. I appreciate it - but no - this war was over and done with a long time ago." Gail nodded again. She knew Serena wasn't telling the truth but she also knew that Serena wasn't going to discuss it - at least not tonight.
Serena looked at her. “Drink? My house?”
Gail smiled and nodded. They both could use one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max turned and saw the picture on the floor that Langley had given him. The doctor was pretty. Maybe he would have some fun with her while she was here. He picked it up to look closer and saw a face he thought that he would never see again. Standing there with Dr. Baptiste was the traitor, Liz Parker.
He opened the door and saw Langley standing at his post. He motioned for him to come into his room.
"Yes sir?"
Max picked up the picture and gave it to Langley. "The girl." He pointed to the traitor. "Is that the friend of Dr. Baptiste?"
"Yes."
"Her name?"
"Gail Walters. She's a psychic."
Max appeared to be thinking about this new information but he had already made his decision. "Will it cause anymore problems to bring her in with Dr. Baptiste?"
"No sir - it shouldn't."
"Then do it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gail and Serena were sitting at the island in Serena’s kitchen. They had gone through half a bottle of tequila and they were feeling the effects. Serena was talking about her next trip. “So I have to go to Ohio tomorrow.”
“What? You didn’t tell me that. When will you be back?”
“Hey Boo – I just found out that I needed to go tonight and I honestly don’t know when I’ll be back.”
Gail was kind of upset; Serena was the only person that she could talk to at all. Serena seemed to pick up on that. “Look Boo – the reason that I’m telling you is because I don’t want you to worry about me when I’m gone tomorrow. After the episode tonight I was thinking about taking a break after Ohio and I was wondering if you would want to take a trip with me? Maybe Europe. We would have a blast!”
Gail looked at Serena with surprise. “You’ve got to be kidding. I can’t afford to go to Europe. Even if I could pay for the trip I would lose my apartment in the process. I can’t pay for it if I’m not working.”
”Oh - please. I’m paying for you to go with me.” Serena got up and got her checkbook out of her purse. “So - how much is your rent?”
Gail couldn’t believe that Serena was offering to pay for such an expensive trip as well as paying Gail’s bills while they were gone. “I really can’t let you pay for all that. I’m going to stay here. Just make sure you send postcards once in a while.”
"Look Boo - you showed me how much you cared tonight - you saved me from the wrath of my ex. So now I want to do something for you – plus I really want you to go with me. I’ll have so much more fun with a friend."
Gail smiled. She felt all warm inside. She didn't know whether it was the tequila or knowing that she had a true friendship but she liked the feeling. "I didn't save you and I think you know it. That man would have never hurt you. He loves you more then his own life and I'm betting that you feel the same way about him."
Serena looked at Gail with a wistful look on her face. "Maybe your right but that will never change anything because contrary to the romantic ideal of love - it does not conquer all. Sometimes people can hurt the ones they love so much that no matter how much you love them or how much they love you, you can never find your way back to them. Now lets stop talking about my philosophies and talk about something more upbeat - will you please go with me?"
Gail smiled. “All right. I’ll go.”
As Gail walked home that night she thought about what Serena had said about true love. Maybe she was just naïve, but she was sure that Serena was wrong. Love could conquer all – you just had to let it. Once they got back from Europe Gail was going to ask Serena to call her doctor friends. It was time for her to remember everything. It was time to find love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Max sat up all night looking at the picture that Langley had given him. The picture of the traitor. He had fought to sleep but couldn’t. Memories now crowded his mind, memories that he thought disappeared years ago. He remembered saving her life, the first kiss, how she had proved over and over again that he could trust her – that she would do anything for him. He remembered the marvelous contentment of being with her and the overwhelming sadness when he wasn’t. He remembered his humanity and how it started to slip away when he saw her in bed with another man. How it faded a little more when Alex had died and with him the friendship he had shared with her. He remembered the day she left, the fight they had right before. The anger he felt in seeing her talking to Tess and the fear in her eyes as he questioned her. She was so convinced that an alien killed Alex, and he was just as certain that it wasn’t true. Ironically in the end it was an alien – hell it had been Tess - but by then she was gone.
Finally he remembered the total despair of knowing she had gone one step further and betrayed them all. How she had gone to Nicholas and finally to Khivar with information about them and the granolith. He had kept hope that she hadn’t turned on them, that there was an explanation, until the day he had killed Nicholas and his thoughts went through him. He had seen her betrayal with his own mind. The despair that followed was overwhelming.
He had spent these last years pushing away humans. He had seen the differences between the species and had decided that humans were beneath him. He figured if the one person he loved, the one he had seen the soul of, could betray him then any of them, at any moment could turn on them. He would never connect, never trust, never care and certainly never love a human again. Especially not Liz Parker.
With that finally thought, a final reaffirmation really, sleep came.