Uphill Battle (ML / Teen) (Complete)

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Anais Nin
Enthusiastic Roswellian
Posts: 72
Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2003 12:15 am
Location: The Netherlands

Post by Anais Nin »

Hi there, sorry for leaving you hanging for so long…

I was pretty much wrapped up in a) work, b) cleaning bicycles (don’t ask), and c) playing soccer with my brother (he can be such an angel at times… except for the time he kicked the ball right in my face… and the time he tackled me… and the time I nearly tripped over the ball…)

So, anyway… I hereby present to you:

(No foreign languages! Yay!)

<center>Chapter 53</center>

United States of America, Boston, October 1949

Her rapid footsteps disturbed the peaceful silence that had settled down in the park, and chased several twittering birds and chirping crickets away. Her heart thundered loudly and picked up momentum the second she caught sight of the old oak tree and – of even more significance to her – the lonely figure sitting underneath it. The sun was just beginning to set, and its fading light coated the trees, bushes and flowers in a heavenly shade of orange. It reflected on his face, glistened in his eyes as he raised them to meet hers.

There was something about him, about her, about their shared moment that made her heart flutter upward – into her throat, it seemed. There was something about the way their gazes crossed, about the way the arms he’d rested upon his knees slid off them, about the way her run became a full sprint that made her stomach clench painfully, that made love flood her senses and mind.

She didn’t stop until she stood before him, trying to catch her breath.

“You came,” he said, his eyes filled with something that resembled disbelief, but gratitude as well.

A smile grew upon her lips, and she gasped for air. “How could I not?”

He leaned back against the tree in order to help himself up, and she reached out to help him, her hand grabbing his.

“I was wrong,” he confessed in a repentant whisper. “I was wrong about so many things, Liz.” His eyes shone in the orange light of the setting sun, and seemed browner than ever. Amber, she decided. His eyes were amber.

“You were,” she admitted, her hand reaching out to touch his cheek. He had grown up, she realized. The last time she’d seen him in Germany, his chin had been covered with down. Now, the beginnings of a stubbly beard shaded his chin, prickling her when she ran the back of her hand over it.

He captured her hand with his. “I’m sorry, Liz,” he whispered contritely. “I’m… sorry.”

Liz’s heart swell with hope, and she felt a dizziness rising, threatening to wash over her any second. Her legs felt weak, her knees buckled, and staggering, she tugged at his hand, getting him to sit down with her.

“Are you all right?” he cautiously inquired, his hand tilting her head so that she looked into his eyes.

She nearly drowned, and they both knew she was lying when she answered, “Yes. Of course. I’m just… a little dizzy.”

“I hurt you badly, didn’t I?” he concluded in a sorrowful tone. “I didn’t mean to… to say those things, Liz. And I never meant to –”

She placed a finger on his lips, her eyes boring into his. “Don’t,” she said brokenly, her voice barely above a whisper. Tears stung her eyes, but she determinedly bit them back. “Just listen.”

Quietly, he nodded. Regret flashed through his eyes as her finger slipped off his lips.

She took a long, deep breath and forced herself to look away from him so that she could concentrate on what she wanted to tell him. Her eyes landed upon the suitcases on the grass around them.

“You’re leaving,” she accused him blandly, suddenly remembering the urgency with which she’d ran through the streets of Boston.

He was about to nod, when, with parted lips, she turned to him. “You can’t leave. You can’t.”

His eyes, hooded with a sadness she knew was mirrored in her own eyes, darkened slightly. “I have to,” he countered hoarsely. He scraped his throat and coughed while carefully avoiding meeting her gaze.

“You can’t,” she persisted. “I need you here, Max. You can’t give up now. You can’t run away.” His lips trembled lightly, and for a split second, she could’ve sworn she saw tears blinking in his eyes. “Believe me,” she added, her fingers reaching up to turn his head towards her, “I tried.”

He dropped his eyes to the ground, to the ants crawling in the grass. “It isn’t running away,” he protested weakly. “It’s the only way I can survive, Liz. I can’t be here, risk running into you. I can’t see you, knowing you aren’t mine.” His eyes met hers in desperate plea. “It is killing me.”

“But I am yours,” she refuted ardently, “I have been since that first kiss.” He smirked apologetically at the mention of the first time he had tried to kiss her, and she tilted her head. “Well, since the second kiss, then,” she corrected herself. “I am yours, Max. And I know I’m not who I used to be, and I know you’ve changed as well, but I want to give this, us, a try.”

He simply stared down at her, confusion and bewilderment flashing in his eyes.

“You have to fight for us,” she insisted, not ready to give him up. “Tell me you will.” He was silent, and she laid her hand upon his cheek. “I’ll follow you, if needed. I’ll come with you. You aren’t getting rid of me this easily.”

“I…” he began and he frowned helplessly, at loss for words. She’d seen the hope flaring up in his eyes, though. His surprise over her words and revelations was clearly readable on his face when he continued. “I… I need to be with you.”

She laughed mirthfully at his stunned features, and leaned closer to him, resting her head upon his shoulder. “I am here,” she said. “I am with you.”

Suddenly, she couldn’t get close enough to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him, nuzzling her throat, inhaling deeply as he took in her scent. She couldn’t suppress a giggle and, through her tears, she saw him smile. It had been so long since she’d seen him smile… genuinely smile.

“Tell me your story, Liz,” he said, his eyes enchanting her with their loving gleam. “You promised me you would.”

<center>***</center>

United States of America, Boston, October 1949

It had been long since the sun had changed places with the moon, and stars had lit the sky with their splendor. It had taken Liz a fair amount of time to tell Max her story, and after she was done speaking, he had begun telling her about his life without her. And, as she lay there, in his arms, listening to the deep sound of his voice, she realized just how much he had changed. Still, she loved him – deeper than she ever thought she would.

“They took good care of me,” he told her, his hand absentmindedly caressing hers, his thumb drawing little circles on the back of it. “As soon as I could, I send a letter to my family to let them know I was alive. I asked them to visit the Connors and ask about you, but word reached me they had left town long ago.”

“They’re all right,” Liz sadly smiled up at him. “I still write with Maria. She’s married now, you know.”

The corner of his lips twitched up in a hesitant smile. “She is? With Michael?”

She nodded. “I miss her,” Liz said, staring down at their joined hands while weaving her fingers through his. “She’s going to have her first child soon… I wish I could be there for her.”

He played with her hair for a brief moment, then dropped his hand in her lap to take her hand into his. “Would you go back?”

“To Germany? No,” she said with a determined shake of her head. “Too many memories.”

He was quiet for a while, enveloped in a contemplative silence.

Her eyes followed his far-away gaze, stared at the moonlit pond in the distance, the shimmering water and waving branches. “When did you return?” she asked after a while. “I left in September.”

“In October,” he answered, and they both smirked at the irony of it. “I wanted to return sooner, but I had to wait until I was completely healed. By the time I was able to go back, the ways of transport were very poor, and I had to be careful. Russians were keeping Germans as prisoners, in camps, and even though I wasn’t a soldier when the war ended, I had served in the army.”

“If only I had stayed a little longer,” she whispered regretfully.

He tightened his grip around her and kissed the crown of her head. “If only’s aren’t getting us anywhere, Liz. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, and even if it were, then it definitely wouldn’t have been yours.”

The ringing of church bells filled the air, and shivering, she crept closer to him. “Where are you staying?” she asked as she disentangled their fingers and unclasped their hands, unable to suppress the need she felt to touch his face.

“Well… nowhere,” he answered, vaguely gesturing at the suitcases spread around them. “I eh… missed my ship, I’m afraid.”

“Good,” she said smugly, giving him a teasing smile. “Where were you going anyway?”

He ducked his head, still slightly ashamed he’d been thinking of leaving. “Spain.”

“Spain?” She lifted her eyebrows in surprise. “You don’t know any Spanish.”

Shrugging, he drew his fingers over her forehead as if to erase the frown and the questioning wrinkles. “You didn’t know any English when you came here, either. I wanted to start anew, Liz. I wanted to forget you.”

“Starting anew doesn’t help,” she said, gingerly smiling up at him, “trust me.”

He leaned forward, cautiously, never breaking eye contact. His lips briefly stirred hers in a tentative, tender kiss, and he smiled.

“I trust you.”

<center>***</center>

:shock: Look! Look! No cliff-hanger! *beams proudly* Yay for me!

I’ll eh… see you later? Yes?

Oh, and thank you so much for your feedback. I constantly forget to reply to you, but I’m sort of a scatter-brain, and if I don’t do things the second I think of them, I tend to forget them. :oops: Sorry. So... I just... want to say thank you to all of you. Forgive me for not being more personal. Believe me, I want to be, but I just haven't got the time - you'd think that finishing school would give you plenty of spare time, but frankly, it doesn't. :roll:

Love,
Stefanie
<center>...endless so far in myself, follow me...
</center>
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Anais Nin
Enthusiastic Roswellian
Posts: 72
Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2003 12:15 am
Location: The Netherlands

Post by Anais Nin »

<center>Chapter 54</center>

United States of America, Boston, October 1949

Early in the morning, when it was still dark and a chilly breeze started to blow, they got up and left the park, the cool, pale light of streetlamps lightening their way. It was almost deadly quiet outside, the only sounds filling the air coming from occasional bars and pubs.

“Well… goodnight,” Max said shyly at reaching Liz’s house. He put his two suitcases on the ground in order to stuff his hands into his pockets.

Arching one eyebrow in surprise, Liz inserted her key in the door’s lock and opened it quietly, careful not to wake Alan and Tess. “You’re kidding, right?” Her eyes sought out his in the dark. “Where are you going to go?”

He shrugged uncertainly. “A motel… a pension… I’m not sure. Wherever I’m welcome.”

Placing her hands upon his shoulders, she gave him a tender smile and kissed his cheek, her lips lightly brushing at the corner of his mouth. “You’re welcome here,” she whispered, and motioned at the opened door and the darkened hallway behind it.

He coughed nervously and glanced at her through the dark bangs that had fallen across his forehead, slightly tousled and undeniably adorable. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Liz.”

“Why not?” She impatiently shifter her weight from one foot to the other. “Come on in. I don’t want you to be outside, looking for a place to stay at this ungodly hour.”

“Tess and Alan will be surprised,” he said softly, but she could hear the ill-concealed agony in his voice.

“Let them be surprised. They love surprises. Come in, Max,” she pressed, playfully tugging at his hand. “Spend the night with me. We won’t do anything… I promise. Not this soon.”

“I…” He hesitantly peered into the dark hallway, swallowing as he noticed the way shadows danced over the walls, across the ceiling.

“Max… please?” Liz implored, her eyes begging him to come inside. She didn’t want him to leave. A part of her still feared he might not return.

The beseeching tone of her voice seemed to make Max give in, for he gave her a nervous, lop-sided smile and picked up his suitcases. “All right.”

She smiled as he brushed past her and entered the hallway. “Thank you.”

<center>***</center>

He was lying in her bed, the blankets tightly drawn around his body. He held one corner of her blanket in his fist, and though he looked utterly adorable, coated in the warm light of her lamp, there was something off about his facial expression. She couldn’t quite put her finger upon it, but he looked stressed, almost afraid, and her heart reached out for him.

Liz cautiously approached him, her nightgown rustling alluringly as she kneeled down by his side of the bed. He glanced up at her, his eyes unreadable and dark, his muscles tense.

“I don’t expect you to… do anything,” she said quietly, trying to ease his troubled mind, “if that’s what you’re worried about. I know you’re not ready for this yet, and neither am I.”

A small smile fought its way up through the worry on his face and reached his lips, lifting the corners of his mouth. “I know that. That’s not what bothers me, Liz.” His eyes drifted over her body in sheer admiration, and he reached out to reverentially caress her cheek. “You look beautiful,” he whispered. “Even more so than I remembered.”

She shyly ducked her head. “Thanks,” she whispered in return. With heavy tongue and a befuddled mind, she struggled to find the right words to say, but they wouldn’t come. “I missed you,” she finally said, feeling the need to be as close to him as she could. “Badly.”

“Same here,” he confessed quietly. She was delighted to see that some of the fear that had previously dominated his expression had fled, and that his eyes were open once more, shining with admiration - or was it love?

He still loved her. He had written that in his letter. He loved her, and she knew that she still loved him. He had done the impossible, and he had forgiven her. Even more important, she had forgiven him, and only then, on her knees beside the bed, she realized she had forgiven him a long time ago, the instant he’d done her wrong. She could never hate him. Not truly.

She needed him too much.

It was with reluctance that she pushed herself to her feet and let his hand drop from her face. His eyes followed her every move as she walked around the bed - she could almost feel his heated gaze.

She slipped under the blanket, the mattress shifting underneath her weight, and was about to switch off the light on her bedside table when his words, rather panicked, stopped her. “Don’t,” he pleaded, his voice hoarse. “Leave the light on, Liz. Please.”

Surprised, startled even, her eyes darted to his face. “On?”

He nodded slowly, and it wasn’t until then that she noticed how his hands clung to the blanket, how his knuckles had turned white. His eyes carefully avoided to meet hers and he coughed nervously. “The darkness… it… sort of… scares me,” he stammered embarrassedly, a blush kissing his cheeks. “I always sleep with the lights on.”

Her heart bled for him – it really bled – and she reached out to kiss his stubbly cheek. “Then we’ll leave the light on,” she consented, her fingers journeying down his forehead, his cheeks, his chin and making a giant leap only to land upon his collarbone.

“You don’t mind?” he asked in a small voice laced with shame.

Giving him a sweet smile, she crept closer to him and rested her head upon his chest. “No, I don’t. I understand. Sometimes it scares me, too.”

“It does?” He looked down at her upturned face, surprised.

“It reminds me of the cabin,” she explained him quietly. “Of the nights I spend there alone. And of the monastery. And the fear. Especially the fear.” She suddenly was very cold, and in order to be even closer to him, she draped her arm across his waist, feeling how his midriff rose every time he took a breath.

A pregnant silence fell upon them. They listened to the rhythmic ticking of the clock, the sounds of a dog barking in the distance and the cries of Jeanette’s baby in the room beneath them. Liz yawned quietly, but sleep seemed to be afraid rather of the light than of the darkness, and though extremely fatigued, she could not fall asleep.

He appeared to be suffering insomnia as well, his hand lightly stroking her upper arm, his movements never faltering. She could feel it when he inhaled deeply, and his hand slipped off her arm. “I killed a man,” he whispered, the sound of his words evaporating fast, almost as if they, too, feared the light. “I killed a man, Liz.”

Her eyes flew open, and she stiffened. “What?”

A tortured sigh escaped Max's lips. “When we had escaped… they… they took two random prisoners. One for Trevor, one for me. They… they killed them. Because of us. Because of me.”

She felt as though she’d been punched in her stomach. “Max… that wasn’t your fault,” she tried to soothe him, slowly turning to sit upright so that she could look down at his face. “You didn’t know they would be killed. You couldn’t have known.”

With a pained grimace, Max thought back of Nicholai, Kain and Petrovich. “I should’ve known,” he said in a broken whisper. “I could’ve known.”

Her fingers traced his strong jaw line, skated over his cheeks. “It wasn’t your fault, Max,” she said again, her worried eyes persistently keeping his in their gaze. “It wasn’t. You –”

Something flashed through his eyes when he cut her short – sadness? regret? disgust? – and with a trembling voice, he asked her, “Do you know what the irony of it all was, Liz? Polish and Russian soldiers were nearby. If we hadn’t escaped the camp, we would’ve been freed in a matter of days. I killed him, Liz.” His pain filled eyes closed, and he took a deep breath – almost as though it was supposed to cleanse him – before he continued. “His life was taken, because I couldn’t wait. Because I so desperately wanted to save my own.”

“Max…” she soothed, weaving her fingers through his, “stop blaming yourself, please.”

He shot her a desperate glance. “I can’t, Liz. I can’t.”

They were silent for a little while, and it was so eerily quiet in her room that – when the first rays of sunlight streamed through her window – Liz swore she could hear the sun rise. She was both physically and emotionally exhausted, but sleep seemed reluctant to take her.

“Do you want me to tell you a story?” she asked softly, hesitant to break the fragile silence hanging in the room. She lifted her head from his chest and peered up at him.

Smiling with difficulty, Max gave his shoulders a light shrug and nodded. “Sure.”

And, somewhere in the middle of her story about unicorns, knights and princesses in a faraway country, he dropped off and fell asleep. The sunlight had gained territory in her room, golden rays lightening the small dust particles that hovered in the air, stretching out to fall upon Max’s foot and the leg that stuck out of the blanket. She switched off the light with a tired sigh, nestled her head against his shoulder and soon, she’d fallen asleep as well.

<center>***</center>
Last edited by Anais Nin on Tue Jul 06, 2004 5:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
<center>...endless so far in myself, follow me...
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User avatar
Anais Nin
Enthusiastic Roswellian
Posts: 72
Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2003 12:15 am
Location: The Netherlands

Post by Anais Nin »

Oh… it makes me very sad to say this, but… this is the last chapter. :( I’m still having some problems believing it, but this is it. This is the end.

Thank you for sticking with me for so long. Thank you for putting up with the hiatuses, with the angst, with the sometimes very short chapters… I’d be nowhere, nothing without you guys.

Okay, so... here we go, off the top of my head…

Thank you:
  • ADkA (at the Polish forum)
  • Alien614 (for being such a loyal feedbacker)
  • Ana (for being a great friend with whom I love to talk… I’m sorry I’m not online as often as I want to be)
  • Angélique (for your sweet words, your frequent replies and your (unlimited) kindness… thank you)
  • anushruti (for your lovely feedback… I hope I spelled your SN right)
  • Ashley777 (A.K.A: Leigh Anne) (for your PM... it was very kind!)
  • Bob (for the PM’s we sent and the German message… danke schön!)
  • cherie (for giving this story a try and your lovely replies… it’s particularly flattering for me because you’re such a wonderful author !)
  • Cristine (for the beautiful banner you did and your sweet words in the beginning!)
  • Dawn (for your long and kind reply)
  • Dee (I don’t know where to begin… for everything… for being a wonderful friend, for giving me advice, for encouraging me… for… just being there for me… just… thanks. You’re a wonderful person – I love you! :))
  • dream on (for your kind feedback... thank you)
  • Ela (at the Polish forum :wink:)
  • Elizabeth (for being such a wonderful friend and beta! :D)
  • Elle (for your sweet words… they made me blush)
  • Emma (for your friendship, and for giving this story a shot…)
  • Ewć (at the Polish forum)
  • flohmac (for reading this story in the beginning and giving me your opinion… I really appreciated it)
  • frenchkiss70 (for being, without a doubt, one of the most loyal feedbackers I know. For your wonderful feedback and your kind words… thanks!)
  • hybrid_angel (for reading the prologue and giving me a reply :wink:)
  • Hotori (at the Polish forum)
  • Hypatia (at the Polish forum)
  • inti (at the Polish forum)
  • ISLANDGIRL5 (for your long, wonderful feedback and your support!)
  • Issy (at the Polish forum)
  • Janelle (for reading, for replying and for being so kind... thanks :))
  • Jadeling (for your sweet words)
  • JasonBFan (for putting faith in me, for encouraging me and for being so patient when it took me days (and sometimes weeks) to get out a new part)
  • Josse (for being one of the best friends I have. For reading this, for your long and detailed feedback, for your kindness, your friendship and for… everything. Thanks. :) )
  • Katie (for your nice reply - it meant a lot to me)
  • kittens (for your kind feedback)
  • Kristina (for being another loyal reader, for putting faith in me when things got rough and for your bumps and your sweet words… I loved your feedback!)
  • Lady Scorpio (for your kind replies... they were wonderful!)
  • Lana (for leaving such a wonderful feedback. I truly enjoyed reading every bit you wrote, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for it)
  • LEO (at the Polish forum)
  • Lindsay (for reading and reviewing… because I love your stories, and it meant a lot to me that you liked mine)
  • limegreenli (for your feedback, the PM’s we exchanged, the trust you had in me and for being so kind)
  • _liz (at the Polish forum)
  • Lizziett (at the Polish forum)
  • Maddie (Madison… for being a great friend, for coming back to RF and the information you gave me about the necklace… I intended to use it, but I couldn’t decide when and where. I’m sorry I didn’t write about it. Thanks for everything.)
  • maddie (at the Polish forum)
  • mareli (for wishing me luck and for reading)
  • Meghan (for your insight on the Spanish language, for giving me your opinion and for reading)
  • MilesToGo99 (for your kind words and wonderful feedback)
  • Ms Yu (for nominating me so often and for your feedback)
  • Nan (for reading, replying and translating… *hugs* You rock!)
  • Natalii (at the Polish forum)
  • Nicola (for the PM’s you sent me in the beginning… I still hope that one day you’re going to write that story you told me about, Nic)
  • {o} (for helping me out with the Polish… :))
  • OChanteuse (for your feedback - I always loved reading it, probably because it was so very flattering... :wink:)
  • Olka (for your touching replies… for your help and the pointers you gave me)
  • PSW2001 (for your kind words and feedback)
  • PuReDrEaMeR05 (for the nice feedback you gave me)
  • Renya (at the Polish forum)
  • roswellluver (for being such a wonderful, loyal reader. I don’t think there’s a single chapter you missed, and I love you for it. Thanks.)
  • Roswell_Freak (for your nice reply and feedback!)
  • Scottie (for your wonderful, wonderful, wonderful feedback. It was a true pleasure to read, and hell, I’ll probably enjoy writing grocery lists if I knew you’d give me some of your kind feedback. Thanks. You’re wonderful.)
  • Shobna (for being there in the beginning… for your bumps and fb)
  • Smac (for your sweet words throughout the story, and your kind feedback)
  • Stacie (for nearly always leaving feedback, for being so supportive and so kind)
  • SweetieTeeny (for your encouraging words and the sweet fb you gave me)
  • TaffyCat (for giving me some pointers and helping me out with a lot of stuff… :) Thanks.)
  • VeronicB (for always leaving fb and for being so supportive… you’re great)
  • VivaLasVegas (for the nominations and for your wonderful feedback… thanks!)
  • WR (for PM-ing me a looong time ago… I’m still sorry it took me so long to get back at you… :oops:)
  • Zajavka (at the Polish forum)
And an extra big thank you for Elizabeth (Gigo) who beta-ed this story... thanks, hon. You did a wonderful job! :D

I’m really sorry if I forgot anyone. Please just remember that it’s almost a year ago I started this story, and I don’t remember every reply. I’m really, really, really sorry if I forgot you. :oops:

German:

liebchen = love/darling (or, more precisely: little love)

<center>Chapter 55</center>

Boston, December 1949

“So… what do you think?”

Liz detected the nervous anticipation in his voice and, looking around the tiny apartment, she uncertainly shook her head. “It’s a little bare,” she carefully voiced her opinion. Her eyes wandered from the faded drapes to the yellowed wallpaper. “And the wallpaper is so… so… flowery…”

Huffing indignantly, Max slid his arms around her slender waist, pulled her back against his chest and rested his chin upon her shoulder. Granted, the room was very bare, and the stained flowers printed on the wallpaper were disgusting, but he would change the entire apartment as soon as he could get a job. “Try to look past the bare- and floweriness,” he said smilingly, his lips brushing over her ear, “and see what I see, Liz.”

She smiled lightly, a little unsure, and glanced up at him. “And what is it that you see?”

Her hair was tousled, and wet from the snow that had showered them several minutes ago. She looked utterly adorable, and gingerly, he kissed one of her rosy cheeks. His heart contracted painfully when he heard her sigh blissfully, and he kissed her cheek again, just to smell her, feel her and taste her. “Home,” he whispered. “I see home, Liz.”

The seriousness in his voice scared her a little, and she stepped out of his embrace and turned towards him. “You’re delusional,” she said, making a poor attempt at a joke in order to relieve the thick tension in the room – she’d do anything to avoid the conversation she felt coming - “or in dire need of a pair of glasses.”

“I’m serious, Liz,” he countered, almost as though he hadn't heard the distance in her voice. She had problems distinguishing the array of emotions swimming in his eyes - there were so many things she could see in them, and the harder she tried to separate them, the faster she fell into them. He smiled and reached out to caress her cheek, his fingers lightly brushing over her trembling lips. “Move in with me,” he implored, his voice hoarse, his eyes persistently staring down into her scared ones. “Please, Liz.”

She tried to look away, but her eyes were trapped in his gaze, and it was with great difficulty she finally managed to avert them. “Max… I… We…” her mind helplessly searched for the right words to say, but the reason for her reluctance lacked her.

Looking down at her expectantly, his hands sought out hers.

“I just… I can’t…” she finally said, a blush surging its way up her neck. “It’s so soon… and our families –”

With his eyebrows raised in bewilderment, Max cut her off. “Our families? I don’t care what my family thinks, Liz. I want to be with you, and that’s all that matters. All that should matter.” He nodded slightly, almost as if to lend credibility to his words. “Honestly.”

“But… it’s so soon,” she protested weakly. “We’ve both changed so much…”

His eyes glittered with love when he stared down at her. “You’re scared, aren’t you?” When she gave her head a shaky nod, his questioning eyes met hers. “Why?” he asked hoarsely. “What are you scared of?”

Shrugging, Liz carefully dropped her eyes to the floor, not wanting him to see her tears. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “I just am. I… never expected this, Max. Not once. And now you’re here, and you’re alive, and I’m… I’m free…” She took a deep breath and looked away, her gaze sweeping over the wallpaper covered in flowers with slightly drooping leaves. “I’m just afraid that if.… if it doesn’t work out this time, we’ll have no one to blame but ourselves… And I want it to work out, Max. I want that so badly…”

His fingers tilted her head the second he heard her sniff. “I love you, Liz,” he said sincerely. “I love you.”

She hesitantly peered up at Max, noticing the determination and love in his eyes. It moved her deeply, and she bit on her lower lip. “I love you, too,” she professed, her voice tear-garbled. “You know I do.” Her heart did a crazy dip when she saw the way his face lit up. She was still scared, but knowing just how much he loved her slightly quenched her fears.

“So… move in with me,” Max pleaded hopefully. “Please. I want to have you with me every day of my life, Liz.”

She hesitantly looked up at him. “I’m afraid I’ll lose you,” she confessed at last, her voice soft and filled with uncertainty. “It nearly killed me. I couldn’t bear to lose you a second time, Max. I… I don’t think I would survive.”

“You’re the one that told me to fight for us,” he reminded her gently. “I tried to live without you, but I came to the conclusion that that’s not living at all.”

The genuineness in his eyes somewhat startled her, and she shyly ducked her head. “You’re right,” she whispered, her voice breaking as he took her in his arms. In a semi-threatening tone, she continued, “Don’t you ever dare to leave me, Max Evans.”

“I wasn’t exactly planning on that, liebchen.” He grinned lovingly and tentatively kissed her on her lips, relishing in the feel of her body against his.

Her last doubts withered under the tender assault of his lips, and she nearly melted in his arms when he kissed her full on her lips. Slightly taken by surprise, she underwent his kisses, her restraints dissolving the second he pulled her more firmly against him, his tongue slipping past her lips.

A startled moan was torn from her throat, and she eagerly returned his kisses, her lips roughly brushing over his as she put her hands upon his chest – her knees had turned to jelly, and she was bound to crumble to the ground without his support. He trailed a path of fiery kisses down her neck, leaving tingly, sensitive skin in his wake.

“Max…” She threw her head back in ecstasy, losing herself in the moment. It had been so long. Too long…

It was almost as though he knew how weak she was at that moment, how all her determination had melted underneath his soft lips, for he looked up at her with those large eyes of his, framed by those ridiculously long eyelashes, and pressed, “So you’ll move in with me, right?”

She breathed out a shaky ‘yes’ and drew his face close to hers.

Their lips clashed for a matter of seconds, but then he pulled back again and said, “And you’ll let me make you happy. You’ll let me give you the life you deserve.”

Nodding, she slightly tugged at the hair at the back of his neck. He looked so very becoming at the moment - his bangs beguilingly falling across his forehead, his cheekbones highlighted by the reddish light of the setting sun. “Yes,” she impatiently answered. “Yes, yes, yes, Max…”

He grinned happily, almost boyishly so, and, for a long moment, she felt the childish excitement she always sensed when he was near her, well up inside of her.

“Then let me love you,” he whispered huskily, his lips almost drawn into a begging pout. His eyes were dark, hooded with desire, and they longingly gazed down at her.

She shivered underneath his intent stare and nodded. “Yes,” she said in a hurried whisper, not even bothering to veil the yearning in her voice. “Love me, Max. Love me.”

<center>***</center>
Last edited by Anais Nin on Tue Jul 06, 2004 5:11 am, edited 12 times in total.
<center>...endless so far in myself, follow me...
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Anais Nin
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Joined: Sun Feb 09, 2003 12:15 am
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Post by Anais Nin »

Meagzie wrote:So, now I know I'm just another poster from the crowd, but I just need to share my thoughts.
You have absolutely no idea how wrong you are! :lol: I am absolutely hooked on your Past/Present/Future-trilogy. I read it a long time ago, and I think that, along with Maxeo and Lizzie, it’s one of the few stories I read back then that actually stuck with me. I think... I think I read it when I was 15; at the CrashDown… or maybe I was even younger.

I actually have the first story printed, and I keep it in a map filled with poems and short stories. I wanted to print the second story, too, but my father’s always complaining about how much material I print and, considering how many pages the second story was, I decided to just save it on the computer. I *love* those stories so much - I still hope you'll finish the trilogy one day. :)

Anyway… Thank you so much for your reply! All those things you said were so very kind, and you really stroked my ego... You know that, even in your feedback, your talent for writing shines through? I really enjoyed reading it, and not just because it was so flattering.

Thank you! :)
Lindsay wrote:I'm so happy that I've gotten to know you a little more through reading this and pming back and forth...
Me, too. :) *hugs*

Oh, I wish I had enough time to reply to all of you personally, but unfortunately, I can't. Just know that each and every reply means so very much to me... :)

Well... so... this is the definite end of Uphill Battle. Thank you all so much for your support, your congratulations, your PM’s (Carla :wink:), your assistance, your aid, your kind words…

I hope that one day, I’ll be able to write another story that is worth replying to. Thank you for everything...

Love,
Stefanie

Jaden is a Hebrew name and carries the (in my eyes beautiful) meaning: God has heard.

<center>Epilogue</center>

United States of America, Boston, June 1954

“I’m too heavy,” Liz complained gruffly, grimacing as the garden chair protested loudly as she shifted positions.

The air was thick and stifling. Spring was ending and, with summer just a couple of days away, the sky had decided to exchange its gray clouds for a heavenly shade of blue. The warmth outside seemed to be bothering no one other than her, and as she sat in the shade of their thin, meager apple tree – it carried about five miniature apples – Max sat on the grass, playing with Jaden.

Casting her an absent look, Max nodded. “You are,” he agreed lazily. He drew his finger down Jaden’s round stomach, then playfully tickled Jaden's sides. Jaden cooed what sounded a lot like a mirthful laugh as he writhed underneath his father's hands, and a sappy grin grew upon Max’s lips. “Hmm… I guess he agrees with me, love.”

She blew out a disdaining snort, but the beginning of a smile teased the corners of her lips. “He always agrees with you,” she sighed. Closing her eyes to block out the sunlight shining through the apple tree’s branches, she splayed her hands across her abdomen. It had grown a lot in the last couple of months and already – in the sixth month of her pregnancy – she felt like an enormous elephant, or a gigantic whale.

“He agrees with me because I’m smart,” Max unabashedly praised himself, not the tiniest bit of modesty audible in his voice, “and Jaden’s a smart boy, too. That’s why you always agree with me, right, Jaden?”

At the sound of his name, Jaden let out a happy gurgle. Max beamed up at Liz, smiling smugly, almost as though Jaden’s laughter had proved the rightness of his statement. “See?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she conceded with a wave of dismissal. Smiling, she shook her head, about to turn around in the confines of the lawn chair once more when Amanda and Paris’s loud voices drifted over the hedge. “Come on,” she said, stretching her arms, “give him to me, Max. He’s been in the sun for too long. Besides,” she added with a teasing grin, “Amanda and Paris will want to play with you.”

He stuck out his bottom lip as he handed Jaden to her, giving her a heart-endearing pout. The second Amanda and Paris threw the gate open, though, the pout had disappeared, and it was replaced by a wide, warm smile. “Hey girls,” he laughed, opening his arms to embrace them both. Paris giggled amused, and Amanda underwent Max’s welcome with an excited laugh.

Jaden made a soft, content sound, his tiny fingers closing around Liz’s. “Hey,” she whispered quietly as she laid him upon her breasts. His large, brown eyes – already so intelligent and understanding – curiously stared up into hers, and their innocence, their naïve trust, awed her.

With the back of her finger, she carefully caressed his round cheeks. His skin was unbelievably soft, slightly flushed because of the heat. Jaden was perfect. So much like his father… and still there was this odd resemblance to her own father: the almond-shaped eyes, the form of his nose…

All of a sudden, she felt hands upon her belly, and the garden chair creaked in a helpless protest against the added weight of Max’s body. “What are you thinking of?” he asked, his breath running over her the skin of her neck, leaving it tingling and sensitive. “You look so… happy… so content.” He lifted his hands and then gently placed one palm upon her belly. After kissing her on her lips – careful not to hurt Jaden - he playfully continued, “Me?”

“Well…” she hedged, favoring him with a teasing smile, “No… not quite. Actually, I was thinking about Jaden.”

“Ah… Jaden!” Max’s entire face lit up. He reached out and touched Jaden’s lips, that were slightly parted. “He’s drooling,” he commented amusedly as he wiped away the spit off Jaden’s lips.

“You can drool when you sleep, too,” Liz defended their son, a teasing, nearly mischievous gleam in her eyes.

“Mmm…” he took on an offended air and nuzzled her throat, breathing in her scent. “You know you love me, Elizabeth Evans.”

She sighed, heaving her chest and lifting all the worries that weighed down upon her heart at the same time. “Oh, I love you all right,” she whispered, and she craned her neck to reach up and kiss him.

Their kiss was abruptly halted by Amanda’s questioning voice, though, and from the corner of her eye, Liz noticed Jake, their postman, tapping his hat as he exited their little garden.

“Can I open this, Liz? Can I, please?” Amanda was close to begging, and Paris nodded her little head fervently in agreement.

Curiously, Liz took the letter from Amanda’s hands. When she recognized the handwriting, she could feel her heartbeat speeding up. “It’s from Maria!” she exclaimed happily, her eyes searching Max’s.

Her fingers eagerly tore at the envelope, and a long letter dropped in her lap. She picked it up quickly, and her eyes flew over the words, her heart aching – bleeding. “She’s coming to visit us,” she breathed out in disbelief, and smiled broadly. “Max…”

Max, who had moved so that he could read over Liz’s shoulder, couldn’t help but smile at her obvious happiness. “When?”

Returning her eyes to the letter, Liz gave her shoulders a light, uncertain shrug. “She doesn’t know yet. Somewhere in August,” she read, her enthusiasm growing at a rapid pace that seemed to increase as quickly as her heartbeat did. “That’s so soon!”

“Who’s coming?” Amanda asked curiously, her large, blue eyes shining with exhilaration.

“Maria,” Max answered, and as he started to explain to Amanda and Paris who Maria was, and what she meant to them, Liz absent-mindedly folded the letter and dropped it to the grass.

Jaden’s eyes had fallen shut, tiny eyelids with even tinier eyelashes kissing his cheeks. He slept quietly. He never had been much of a cry-baby. She had discussed it with Max several months ago, and right then and there, seeing Jaden sleep so peacefully, she figured it out, a profound feeling of peace washing over her.

Jaden didn't need to cry.

God had already heard them.

The End

<center>***</center>

:cry: And they lived happily ever after... :cry:
Last edited by Anais Nin on Mon Jun 28, 2004 1:00 am, edited 3 times in total.
<center>...endless so far in myself, follow me...
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