I didn't!!! I did? (CC ALL,TEEN) Ch 5 - 10/15/04 [WIP]

[dream on]

I didn’t!!! I did?

CC: minor AU

Disclaimer – Don’t own any of them, borrowing them from that asshole who beinged on crack.

Rating – TEEN

Summary – I know this has been done to death but…

Taken from one of the spoilers of season 4. Someone in the gang threw back the switch. The catch is ALL of them went to another timeline…with nada memories of their miserable past lives. Well…we’ll see if the memories resurface.

Definitely Dreamer.

A little A/N - Due to the untimely and let me just say unbelievable demise of my other fic (Yer Majesty, His Zanness, if anyone recalls), I’ve decided to jack heavy stuff for a while. This one is a little laugh at our loveable (?) aliens and humans alike. Quite a bit of a handful to write, what with my muse on strike every day but hell, I’ve finally gotten up the nerve to sit at my PC and write something without feeling like sticking it to the grill. Enjoy, folks.

As for ‘Within Me’, I’ve still got plans for it but I haven’t gotten over the shock yet. I won an award for it, and as much as I’d like to forget about it, my sis, my readers (hugs) and my conscience won’t let me.



Prologue.



September 18th, 1999.
Crashdown Café, Roswell.


Liz POV.


Ok. So maybe refilling coffee pots every five seconds are the highlight of a waitress’ day but gimme a break. Five seconds? Even fish don’t take in that much liquid and the friggin’ things live in water! Yep. As you can guess, this is NOT a good time. Not a good time at all. In fact, the darnedest thing these days is that NO time is ever good enough. I swear, I’m turning into a shrew. Or something.

Yeah, along the lines of under-paid and over-worked.

No, seriously, my Dad needs to get a life. Well, scratch that. He has a life. He just needs to get himself a heart.

See, my folks own this totally cheesy alien-themed restaurant which caters alien-themed greasy food to UFO nuts. After all, I live in the infamous Roswell, New Mexico. Home to the 1947 aliens. Land of the sci-fi geeks. Domain of some of the biggest tourist torts in alien history. C’mon, who doesn’t love the place. Judging from the tourist revenues we earn, I’d say that’s a quite bit of loving.

After all, who else could claim aliens decided to invade earth and actually landed in a cornfield. Well, I can’t remember if it was a cornfield or not, but close. My national spirit is flying high.

Yeah, I ramble too. Any problem, bud? Although this is a newly acquired habit.

As I was saying…my father needs to get a life. I realize tourist traps are THE ways to get cash around here because let’s face it, rock doesn’t appreciate true genius and we happen to be in the middle of the freakin’ desert anyways, so a girl’s gotta deal here. And I do. Well, generally…dunno really.

For the last couple of weeks, something’s been going on. Maria, that’s my best friend keeps telling my it’s hormones and the horrendous autumn heat. Gotta agree there. Early to mid fall in Roswell is about as cool as hell.

But still…you’d think a smart chick like Yours Truly could figure out what’s going on in my own head. Oh, in case I didn’t mention it, I am one. A smart chick, that is. Most of the people think I’m a super geek but they’re too conscious of their own pathetic I.Q’s to ever challenge me to my face. So I get by.

Maria is the blonde in the group. She’s not dumb, far from it and I’ll stand up to any bastard who says otherwise. But she’s got a temper that’s heat matches the stinking weather. Cross Parker and you pay but cross De Luca and you die. So far, I had to haul her away from two attempted homicides. I’m probably the only person alive who can control her and I’ve made a bet with Alex that no one spawned will be able to do it, save moi.

Alex, you ask? Well, he’s my mainstay. Maria’s too. We’re the three musketeers of West Roswell High and before you start, no, it hasn’t been outdated in Roswell. Excuse me while I laugh but prior to listening to me some more, you have to get yourself conscious of this very basic fact. NOTHING, repeat after me, nothing gets outdated in Roswell. So before you laugh, think twice.

Okieee. As I was saying, Alex. He’s our best friend and he plays the bass for his band that comprises of all the losers in the school save him. Yeah, well, I happen to be loyal. I realize that he has about as much status in WRH as the next geek but he has a heart of gold and a brain that Bill Gates would kill for. I love him to bits and you should too.

Ok, well, Alex and Maria both have been complaining about my recent attitude. I don’t know…I feel hostile, restless and miserable and I get these weird flashes (that’s the only word to describe it) of myself, get this, standing in some green light with purple halos around me and LISTEN TO ME, goddammit!!!

I swear, on my Grandma’s beads, I am not making all this up. What? You think I have nothing better to do? Get real. Ok? I’m a waitress at the Crashdown Café. The class Valedictorian and I also play for the girl’s soccer team. Anyone who thinks I’m idle has shit for brains or is an alien.


I hear this indescribable sound. I swear aliens have landed. I mean, that just couldn’t have been human. The coffee mug I am holding shatters and I snap out of whatever trance I went into.

“Liiiiiiiiiiz!!!”

Jesus Christ. I shake my head, slowly. My ears still ring but it’s dying down. I glance around warily.

“Maria?”

“Don’t Maria me! I’ve been calling you, for like, a whole minute.”

Yeah, a lifetime apparently. Maria never gets subtlety and me and Alex, we dangle subtle hints over her just to see the explosion. And trust me, as physically and mentally demanding as it is to see Maria De Luca flying to pieces, it’s a hundred times more enjoyable too.

My, what interesting lives we lead.

“Hello? Earth to Parker!!”

Maria normally has one of the most exotic vocals this side of the sun but really, her shrieks shatter glass. It breaks the coffee pot in a gazillion pieces. I whirl around, ready to rip into her.

My nerves have had enough. She pouts at me.

“What the hell’s the matter with you?”

“Take your Angina Jolie act somewhere else.” I snarl back.

Maria’s torn. I can see it in her face. She doesn’t know whether to back off, laugh at my outrageous slur on the actress’ name or yell at me ‘cause I yelled at her. In the end, she makes a small O. I stifle my urge to laugh. De Luca tamed is a rare, and laughable sight. Really.

She quickly swipes the place with her green eyes. I know that look. That’s her got-caught-on-duty look. I lunge for a small mop and start busily clearing away the mess at our feet, spattering Maria and whoever’s within range with the fallen coffee. Maria’s squeal of outrage gets cut off by a screech of pure horror.

I look up, wondering which diva was it who got her skirt a little splashed.

Uh oh. Not good. NOT good.

It happens to be my mother. She has this lame charity auction she’s presiding over and this happens to be her grand outfit. I stand, motionless and pale. Murder’s written all over her face.

“Oh.” Think, Parker! “H-hi Mom.” I stutter.

Obviously, my glib charm doesn’t work. She wheezes air into her lungs, ready to scream the place down when suddenly fate intervenes. A low baritone breaks into the quiet.

“Excuse me? My coffee?”

I gulp in a lungful of air as my mother tries to control her eruption. I got a chance and I am not about to miss it.

“Sir?”

A pair of jade eyes look at me directly and I flinch. Why is this so familiar? The hunk before me scratches his ear and holds out his coffee cup. I keep staring. I’m a control freak, if you haven’t guessed it. I simply have to peg everything down or I go crazy. I know I look crazy right now, squinting at the guy but…well, DEAL. I need to place this thing!

He looks at me, obviously baffled and my would-be killer turns to me, freaked out. Maria starts breathing deeply, a sure sign she’s hyperventilating. Catching the laser-like eyes, I come back from the land of Nod.

“Huh?”

He smiles gently. “Coffee?”

Oh. OH! “Sure. Sure. Coffee. What…?” I trail off, seeing my mom turning a nasty shade of purple.

She jerks her head towards the backroom and I stifle my gulps. What? I’m scared and if you had any brains, you’d be too. My mother, pissed off, is NOT a pretty sight. I hear a soft but definitely tired sigh and I whip my wimpy self back towards the guy. Shit! Talk about customer service.

“So sorry. You wanted…?”

He sighs too. Probably wondering what a guy has to do around here to get a jolt of caffeine. I squirm some more and reach down to pick up the biggest piece of the newly-shattered coffee pot. We all let off another chorus of sighs and I tremble, reaching breaking point, fast. Maria, of course, notices this and tries to hustle my mom away so that I can at least serve my customer with a shred of dignity. Fortunately, my very angry mother takes the hint and walks back to the kitchen. I put on the java and turn back to him, determined to break the puzzle.

Of course, he’s not there when I turn. I snort. Of course.

I go back to washing the mess up. Another flash goes through me and I seem to be wading through a fog. Glasses break and I snap out of it again.

As you can guess, this is not a good time. Didn’t I mention this before? Whatever.

So my Prince Charming * on his own two legs, fine ones if I may add * (I personally don’t care overmuch for a stinking horse but whatever! ) is actually Max Evans. He’s another geek extraordinaire but it helps that he’s so easy on the eye. I mean, really. Evans has to be the hottest guy in the damn school.

He’s smart (which is a HUGE plus), he’s got a personality (something guys my age around here DON’T have) and he actually has manners. (Notice the rescue?) These are all alien concepts in WRH and Max Evans is the sole male in possession of these somewhat unique qualities.

Of course, there are a few catches. Like, first of all, the guy’s just too quiet. In fact, he’s so quiet he’s downright creepy! Secondly, he’s always hanging around that unwashed piece of…something. I can’t call him human and by Maria’s terms, that’s letting him off easy. But there’s definitely something weird going on with those two. I still think they’re gay but that rumor’s been hotly contested by the gaggle of girls, pining away for Evans. And since you can guess how much I care about the girls’ opinions, you know exactly what I think of Max, right? Right? Right. So there.

Ok. Going OT again. But seriously, the main thing that works against Evans, IMO is his sibling. Isablah Evans, Queen of WRH, the ultimate cliché in high-school history with her perfect smile and perfect hair and flawless skin and ab-so-lu-te-ly dead personality. And if it weren’t for the fact that the Ice princess actually spared time from her manicuring sessions to bake cookies for the children’s hospital, I’d say she was completely devoid of human feelings except contempt for everyone around her. But then again, the la-di-da donated her time so generously and with enough fanfare to make the national news that I wonder at times, what really is the motive behind it all. Like I can’t guess?

But that’s enough of Max Evans. Freakiest part about this guy is that I see him everywhere. And I do mean everywhere. He’s my lab partner and somehow I manage to see him, no less than five times a day at school. Not to mention the Crash. I mean, he’s here like every single day. It’s practically freezing out there and he’ll be in here, sipping a coffee like it’s normal to walk around in weather like that. I swear, his tabs alone cover the electricity bill here. If I were the paranoid type, I’d suspect a conspiracy but since I’m not, the boyo’s safe.

Something dings and I wearily turn back to the coffee pot. I clutch it in my hands, forgetting its red-hot and scream as my palms get fresh with it.

“Arrrrrghhhhh!!” The ninety year old ‘waitress’ and I use the term loosely faints dead away. I squelch my rising shrieks and rush to the sink.

Grabbing a handful of icy water, I drench Agnes, watching with satisfaction as she comes to life.

“Ugh! Why’d you do that, you stupid girl?” she howls from the floor.

Yeah, I’m smothered by the gratitude. I sigh and turn away to tend to my poor palms. They are a fiery red. Ick.

No, see I’m not always such a klutz but the last couple of weeks haven’t exactly been normal. Did I or did I not mention all of this earlier? Well. Anyways the point is and I don’t have to be a fortune-teller to do this but this day is going to suck. Not that it hasn’t already but I tell ya, it’s going to get worse.

See? SEE? I’m even freakin my own self out! Since when did I turn out to be a fortune teller? I never believed in them! Oh my God! I need a drink. Scratch that. I need to eat. Fast.

My order goes up and I glare miserably at Jose, the grill chef. He smirks back at me and lumbers away. Bastard! I pick up the order and start towards the table.

The couple who’s sitting there look straight out of a bad sci-fi movie. I mean…c’mon. The fact that they were tourists is as glaringly obvious as the blisters in my hand.

I sigh. Life’s not fair. Clearing my throat, I smile.

“Okay, I have got one Sigourney Weaver, that's for you. And one Will Smith. Can I get you guys anything else? Green Martian Shake? Blood of Alien smoothie??”

Say no! Say no!

Apparently, they hear.

“No, thanks. We're good”.

Oh thank God. I’ll have murder on my conscience if I have to make a smoothie now.

I want some cash to get me through this ordeal so I lead them on.

“Are you guys here for the crash festival?”

The freak solemnly answers back. “Yeah, can't wait. So...does your family come from Roswell??”

Hah! What’d I tell you?

“Just the four generations.” I reply, just as solemn.

The geek yaks. “Uh, well, does anyone in your family have stories about the UFO crash?”

I knew it. I smother my rising hysteria and roll my eyes at Maria who walks behind me to the front booth. Two men are sitting there, arguing and something chills my skin as I take in the noise they’re creating.

Wait. I have a mission to accomplish. I whip out a tattered photograph. “Well, I guess it would be O.K. to show you guys this....”

They freak out over it, as predicted and my sudden ability to foretell the future has me in nervous knots. This is just plain crazy! I need to get away.

“My grandmother took this picture at the crash sight RIGHT before the government cleaned it up.”

They look blown away. I keep my howls from erupting.

“Do people know about this photograph?” That’s ‘Jen’. Code name: freak.

I look at her with my wide doe eyes open. “Well, I know about it, and now you know about it.”

A chorus of wows. Huyk!

I straighten up, confident this’ll get me the tip of a lifetime. “I'm gonna be right back. Don't show that to anyone.”

I look at that eagerness there and I want to puke. Maria joins me and we stroll back to the counter. Spying the coffee pot, I wince.

“Shit.”

“You are sooo bad, girl.”

Huh? Wow. If Maria noticed, then Max Evans must be plenty mad at me by now. I hurry for the mugs but she beats me to it. “And Max Evans is staring at you again.”

“I know!" I moan. "I’m so sorry. And I got totally tangled with those fools! These UFO freaks scare the daylights outta me. How can anyone be so clueless? How the hell do they live every day anyways?”

I see Maria staring at me. “What?”

“ ‘What?’ I thought you’d be yapping about how no one notices you and that he certainly doesn’t, not to mention the fact that the steady and loyal Kyle Valenti who appreciates you and sounds like a poodle in the process was Da Man at the moment.”

“Oh. Oh. No. I mean, yes, he’s Da Man at the moment and no I don’t care who’s staring and if he is staring then that’s bad ‘cause he ordered a coffee like, aeons ago. Please?”

Yeah, drop it, babe. Not a good day to harass Liz Parker but then again, it’s not like my Maria actually cares about sensitivity and all that stuff.

She surprisingly gives me a ‘look’ and fills the cups. I sigh, happy my ordeal is nearly over. Five more minutes and I have a break due. Thank freakin’ god!

I slink out from behind the counter as Maria moves out. I feel a force. It hits me so hard I practically fall down. It is compulsive. From somewhere deep within me, there is something screaming for me to get down.

Hello? I realize this has been a rough day but seriously, I think I need a shrink.

I hear glass breaking and I duck. A gun goes off and a bullet passes not two millimeters away from me. I stifle my screams and just lie there. I don’t look too alive. I hear Maria’s screams and suddenly, propelled by that weird compulsion, I get up on my feet, at the same moment when Max Evans ducks under Michael’s arm and starts towards me.

I gulp in air, feeling my last fragile hold on reality crumbling slowly and I sway but again, something’s telling me to stand strong. And stay the hell away from Max! Jesus, I must be more shaken than I thought!

Max notices that I’m standing up and I can’t say I’m disappointed at the frantic way his eyes run over me. Wow. Color me shocked. If I were capable of any coherent thought I’d have noticed the look in his face. I don’t. All I see is something shining rather fiercely in his gorgeous eyes and I go “wow’. No doubt about it, the guy’s a hunk.

Yeah. Maybe after a good meal and some sort of rest I’ll be able to recall all that had happened but right now, my mind’s occupied with how bright the sky looks and how badly Max’s fierce eyes are winning out over the sun. Poor thing. I suppose it’s hard to compete with.

I smile inanely as he stands off to a side, his eyes on me, his face white, his chest heaving as if he’d run a mile. Now I wonder what’s he so worked up about? I was the one who got shot.

Wait a minute. I shake my head, trying my best not to dislodge it. There’s this sense of premonition and I feel sick.

Who’d have thunk it? Me, cool under fire Parker coming apart at the sight of an emergency. Crazy, I tell you.

What’s this about a shot? And what’s it got to do with a guy I barely have any contact with? What the fuck is going on in here? And don’t dare lecture me on my manners. If you’d have been as close to that little bit of lead as I’d been, no doubt you’d be whining your head off. And if I seem hyper right now, I confess. I had too much sugar in the morning.

Ok. Enough. ENOUGH. I had it up to here with you. Shut the hell up ‘cause I need to make some sense now.

I see my father rushing in and I blank out. Literally. I mouth all the usual reassurances and he folds me in one giant hug. I sag into his strong arms, feeling, for the first time in this crazy day, some semblance of peace.

And as I close my eyes, I don’t see Max turning green. I don’t see Maria sniffing her oils, I don’t see Sheriff Valenti walk in, I don’t feel the nervous energy coming from two people in the corner, I don’t even hear the sirens blaring. All I feel is peace. I hold that feeling close to me as the questioning resumes. I ignore everyone as much as they’d let me. Obviously my father stepped in because the sheriff doesn’t ask me anything and for that I’m eternally grateful.

I see Michael something hauling Max out of there and I give him a cheery wave. After all, he never got his coffee. He stares at me, wide-eyed.

What? Never saw a girl wave before, dude? Well, obviously not one that avoided a collision with death…I’ll give him that much. But what the hell.

I’m still in that place. Nothing touches me, not even Maria’s constant babbling. I feel nada. Actually, it all feels great. I smile happily at my dad and he too, stares at me in something that looks a lot like disbelief. Now why do that, Dad? You look slightly hideous. I mean, frowning reveals all those lines. I got that from Cosmopolitan when I was thirteen and Maria had bitched so much that to finally get her off my back, I’d bought the damn thing. See? I knew it’d come to some good use.

I catch words like “in shock” and “scared” and I smile harder. I’m not. Really. Why wouldn’t they believe me? What-the-friggin’-ever. I go up the stairs for a hot bath. I know it’s like scalding outside but still. I need to soak for a while. I leave Maria gaping behind me. Now what?

As I fling the buttons on my disgusting teal uniform open, I start. For a second, I think I saw something glowing on my stomach. I run to the mirror. Nothing. Smooth skin. A tad bit of a tummy but nothing else that’s out of the ordinary. So what was the flash about? I give up. It’s unheard of, but really, there’s a first time for everything. I GIVE UP. I don’t care about freakin' flashes. I’ll stay saner longer this way. I throw in some sandalwood bath salts into the hot water and plop down, immediately feeling better. My strawberry soap melts into a red puddle and I feel like smiling but I can’t make my face do it. As the water washes over me, I try to squash a singular thought back into my poor mind.


How’d I know it was all coming?




Xsara

[dream on]

Thanks, guys!


Chapter 1.

Max POV


I’m cruising down the road in my trusty chariot. School resumes today after summer break and I don’t have to tell you how welcome that is. What? You think I’m being sarcastic? Hell no. I love going to school. No. NO. Don’t you look at me like that. I’m NOT a freak. Well, by human terms, I guess I am, but…not the way you think. Listen pal, if you had any brains, you’d go nuts about wanting to spend every waking moment staring at Liz Parker’s lovely face too.

Hey wait. Don’t get ideas or anything, ‘cause let me tell you. I happen to be an alien. I can make you disappear if I want and if you so much as look at Liz, I swear, I will be feeling like it. Not too healthy for you, if I may add.


So the shooting thing happened yesterday. I don’t know what I’d have done if Liz had gotten shot. Scratch that. I know exactly what I would’ve done. Of course, that in itself would’ve killed me and mine (oh yeah, I have two other siblings that are alien and for your edification, aliens if found, are tested, prodded and exterminated). Not to mention the fact that Liz Parker would consider me a freak above all others and there goes my little dreams. What? A guy can’t dream? But seriously, these aren’t options. I’d have chanced them all if she’d been dying. Never mind dreams. I’d rather she lived first.

Thank God…theirs and if I follow any religion, mine too. D’ya think aliens actually have a religion? But I digress.

I bow towards the sky, noting a look of sheer incredulity register on Michael’s face. He’s another alien, as if you didn’t know already. But I can tell you right now, he won’t complain. He’s too overjoyed I didn’t do anything “drastic” yesterday. He’s a pain in the ass, a huge one, but you don’t complain when you’re in the minority. And I happen to be in one.

Anyways…I don’t know. Lately, I’ve found myself completely diverted. Not that I haven’t been diverted by the Parker Issue for the last ten odd years but this is strange. This is…complicated. I see things sometimes that I’m positive I’ve never done before but the images are vivid. I wonder if this is the only way we get sick because Isabel, that’s my sister (and I don’t even want to start there, so don’t make me.) Michael and me…we never get sick. Ever. I know it sounds crazy to think I get sick by seeing some thing flit across my brains, but hello? Alien here. Who knows how these things happen with us anyways?


I reach school in record time. Way too early for the first day. As I haul my ass off my rusty Army jeep (yeah, my parents thought they were being cute.), I see Isabel glaring at me and Michael trying his best not to smirk. I give them my patented blank look and they don’t dare open their mouths. Hah! Sa-weet.

Isabel rushes inside the building as if being seen with us would stigmatize her and her four generations. Michael obviously wants to say something and since I’ve a few minutes before class, I figure this would be the best time. After all, within the next three, I’ll disappear. I hide my own smirk and look over at Michael.

“Hey.”

“Grunt”.

Grunt. Yeah. That’s the only way to describe the sound he makes. I swear, sometimes, the fact that he’s definitely not human is plain to see.

“You want to say something?”

“Ummm.”

Was I supposed to answer that? Was I supposed to understand that is more like it. Why, why can’t he be normal? Doesn’t he realize the Feds would target him first thing if they ever start looking for E.T.s? Obviously, that thought never registered.

Gathering my books, I slam my locker shut. And smother my smile. Sometimes, he really is too easy.

“Hey man. I got a class. If you wanna say something here, make it fast.” May be that’ll register.

It does.

“Look, Maxwell…”

That’s it. I’m doomed to a lecture. I glare at my watch. Biology! I have to be there early, goddammit! Michael, the bastard knows it all but he’ll still do it anyway.

“Michael. I have to go, ok? Bye.”

I don’t give him even a second to answer as I race off in the direction of the chem. Lab. Ah. Liz in a red tank top is a delectable sight.

WOOOOAHHH!!! What the hell? I haven’t even seen Liz all morning. What makes me think she’s wearing red? See? SEE? I need a shrink, I tell you. Too bad we can’t ever go to one.

I’m late, thanks to Michael, that sonofanalienbitch. I practically reach the doors at a break-neck speed. Of course, in my eagerness, I fail to apply the brakes, so I’m entering the class like a thug. The door bangs against the wall and everyone jumps three feet high. I feel about two inches tall.

Oh Christ. Help me, help me!

My eyes latch onto Liz and she’s about as red as the tank top she’s wearing. Jesus. I feel faint.

Ms. Hardy tampers her breathing down and gasps. “Mr. Evans?”

Of course she can’t believe it’s me. I’m as close to a teacher’s pet (without the harassment) as it’s possible, in this place. Every one of my teachers loves me. How I wish that had been delegated to my classmates…but enough! I can’t stand here like a dumbass all day! My ears can’t take it anymore.

I hurry across to Liz and plop down beside her, my pencil unerringly making it’s way to my mouth. Gross! I never do that. Out of the corner of my eyes, I see her looking at me and the impulse to look at her while she’s doing it is too strong. I turn, our eyes meet and she quickly looks away. I take my time though. The light is washing over her and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful sight.

Ms. Hardy has to break it up, that bitch. She’s holding a packet of toothpicks in her hand and I’m fervently hoping today won’t be the day to discuss dental hygiene. I may be totally obsessed with Liz Parker and her lovely mouth but seriously, I can do without the sight of people picking their teeth, never mind how wonderful they are.

I can feel Liz’s slight frown. Ugh! I need to get a life. True enough, a slight frown mars her face.

I gape. I simply can’t believe it. How the hell did I know all this? She frowns more and I watch with interest. Her cheeks start flushing and after a few seconds, she swings her wonderful chocolate tresses to cover them. I chuckle inwardly. The girl’s just too cute. Suddenly, Liz looks up and asks.

“Is something wrong, Max?”

Now why would anything be wrong? No.

I shake my head, a little puzzled. See I talk to Liz all the time in my head so it’s kinda hard to talk to the real her.

She frowns again. “Are you sure?”

God, I hope I don’t embarrass myself. I count to two and open my mouth.

“Yeah. Why?” Thank god! That was almost normal. I feel my heart trying to exit the ribcage. Calm down, you asshole!

Liz stares at me, baffled about something. I take the opportunity and squint at her. We stay that way for a minute or two and then she shakes her head.

“Never mind.” She mumbles.

Ms. Hardy stands in front of us and barks. “Well?”

We jerk our heads toward her and she glares.

“Getting down to biology anytime soon?”

I flush and severely tell my body to tone it down. What’s interesting is Liz. She’s blushing like a ripe tomato. Am I outta line or does she also think…I look at the enraged expression on my bio teacher’s face and the thought dies.

“Ma’am?”

She huffs and practically flings the toothpick at me. What’s that for? Liz gets a sympathetic look and a smile. I stare angrily. Hey! I’m undoubtedly the other one of your best students here. What’s your problem? My ego’s taken a severe beating.

I gawk at the toothpick. Well, if Liz has to inspect my mouth, at least she won’t be grossed out. I swipe my hand over my jaw and mint breath flows. Hah! Mentos, anyone?

Ms. Hardy yells out the instructions. I wonder why she’s in such a fowl mood. Usually the lady happens to be one of the saner teachers around here.

Drat! I missed it all. I turn to Liz.

“What did she say?”

Liz stares at me, stunned. Well, yeah…I have a bit of a tendency to be a nerd but really. It doesn’t mean I’m a total geek. My heart sinks. Or does it? I chuck my inner demons into the deepest pit I can throw them into and bite out the words.

“Well?”

Oh crap. Liz’s eyebrows are high and so is her color. I don’t think she’s amused anymore. I cover it up with my usual blandness.

I wave the toothpick around and ask evenly.

“Shouldn’t we get started?”

Liz stammers out a yes. I truly wonder what is up with her today.

I’m on a roll, as it’s perfectly obvious. I mean, hell, I’ve been trying for five years to get a conversation smoothly flowing and finally my tongue has caught up with my heart. You can’t stop me – I growl inwardly, pleased inordinately.

“What’re we doing?”

Liz looks at her slide and says. “Um, we take cell samples and see if we really are human.”

Great. There goes everything. I scramble back into my shell before you can say Elizabeth. Oh, for God’s sake! One day, just one day I was actually living life and look what comes up. I nod at her miserably and another thought hits me. Unless Ms. Hardy wants us to prick our lab partners and scrape off their cells, I’d say that toothpick was meant for me. Holy crap. I nonchalantly move across the desk to the other side, noting Liz’s puzzlement. I smile sweetly.

“Would you mind if I took this side? The sun’s in my eyes.”

Yeah, so? would’ve been the proper response, but again, this is Liz. And even though she can’t order me back because I am somewhat hemming her in and practically pushing her away, my fair lady smiles at me, a bit bewildered to be sure but smiles graciously nonetheless and says.

“Sure.”

I feel like a heel but I discretely pass the toothpick along with her notebook and jump at the slides like I’ve never seen one in my entire life. She looks at me strangely but doesn’t pursue it. Thank God. Something, mainly the organ that passes for a heart revolts inside. Why the subterfuges? Why the lies? My brain bites back. Why the death wish? Regardless to say, everything shuts up in a nanosecond.

The rest of the class, I spend deeply immersed in the study of Liz cells. I look at them, little red globules on the piece of glass and within the sense of wonder that this is a part of Liz there’s also a sense of futility. Seeing her cells just reinforces our differences. Her cells are normal, like the other billions of human cells. Meanwhile, my cells, green blinking ones (I had ’em checked. What? I have plans for the future too.) are as far from hers as the earth is from my solar system.

I don’t need a map, guy, I can make an educated guess.

This class couldn’t have come at a better time. I’d been growing tired of my ever-present warning alerts inbuilt in me about “no-connection-to-humans-they-are-the-enemy-they-will-kill-you-and-whatsit” and my longings for a normal life had just about sapped me of my energy. But no more. Obviously, this day has been an eye-opener for my usual self and I can bet you a million bucks, I’ll never hear the end of this.

Resistance is futile, or didn’t I tell you?

SEE? What’d I say? I’m amazed, though. Not even a minute has passed.

I don’t talk to Liz. This getting close and moving away cycle is draining everything inside and if I have to behave normally, I’m going to have to take a leaf out of Michael’s book and start being a stonewall. Not that I haven’t been one all my life but the cracks that’d appeared need to go. Away. Fast.


The bell rings and I rush out. I’ve had about as much as I can take. I bump headlong into a lanky guy and if it weren’t for my lightning-fast reflexes (hah!), he’d be a piece of the floor. I mumble an apology but obviously he’s used to it. He smiles and shrugs me off. I stare after Alex Whitman.

Not only is he one of Liz’s best friends but he’s probably one of the most genuine people I know. It’s funny. I feel a little bad about that look in his face. I wonder how is it that we get bogged down by the same stereotypes everywhere. Although it’s ironic, that I, a martian, am feeling sorry for the troubles that plague the underdogs in the school. Who am I kidding? I happen to be one.

Ok. Enough of philosophizing. I have to find a place to calm myself down. It doesn’t help that I’m seeing Liz in the break room, talking to Kyle Valenti. Why? Why does it feel like it should’ve been me?

Oh Jesus! Will y’all look at me? It seems like I’ve latched on Isabel’s Me-meeeeeeee syndrome. It’s bad, I tell you. It’s baaaaaad. Speaking of witch…heehaw…there’s my elder sister stampeding towards me. Her shoulder bangs against a guy and he goes flying in the other direction. I stifle my laughter and smirk at her. She, of course, thinks the guy’s been swept of his feet but her, uh charms. With a toss of her riotous blonde curls, Her Majesty comes to a standstill before me. I’m bored already and she hasn’t started yet.

“Max!”

I turn red. It’s one thing to have an angry sibling but its quite another to have her scream at you in the middle of school. I moan silently. Why can’t Isabel have a little tact?

I whisper, hoping she’ll get the clue through all that mousse.

“What?”

She bellows. “Whaddya mean, WHAT?”

For fuck’s sake! Shut up!

Yeah, like I’d actually say that out loud. I’ve a phobia of being the center of attention, k? If people weren’t around, I’d have cut her down to size but as always, Isabel chooses her battlefields with me very carefully.

I growl out, very softly. “Isabel, lower that voice.”

She stares in disbelief and I look at her evenly.

“Something wrong?”

She knows this tone. She’d better know it by now. Apparently, since all that red is going away from her face, she does.

“Some lame bitch started a rumor that I was fat. Me…FAT.” She scoffs.

A double hex on whoever started that true but unnecessary rumor. Bastards! Now I have to be the one to fix their mess.

“Uh, Iz. You’re not fat. * cough *. You’re just healthy. Now if that’s all…”

Her face looks like a volcano and I know what’s going to spew. I rush into damage control.

“Iz. You sap. I can’t believe you’d actually listen to what “who” says.” Yeah, where’s the Ice Princess?

I love my sister. I really do. I don’t have a choice. But she can be one of the very worst people to live with sometimes. NOW would be a great example. Obviously she wants me to lock whoever started the rumor in an airless room and terrorize him. Worse, her. Arrrgh! I don’t do that stuff! She knows!

She glares at me and I know why. Of course. That hint, which if I may add, was the size of a jackhammer, is not going to work because it’s her brother dear. She doesn’t have to fake her indifference. Sigh…sometimes I wonder why she doesn’t take all her crap to Michael.

Hah. Another joke. They’d both be fighting over the title of The Best Whiner. God, can my life get any worse?

I look about, hoping someone would rescue me. My eyes fall on Liz. The air clears. I see Kyle drop a kiss on her forehead. Ugh! Now I know. Yes, my life can get worse.

I glare at my shoes. An ant crawls by. I resist the urge to squash it into nothingness. A light goes off over my head. Of course. I’m such a wuss. I can’t even kill an ant and I expect to take Liz Parker away from Kyle Valenti. School sweetheart. Captain of the basketball team. Co-captain of the football team. Track and field star. Let’s see…what have I left out? I see him run a finger over her silky hair and my gut clenches. Liz smiles and they head off down the hall, arm in arm. Gag.

I finally remember Isabel. I gulp. It’s not healthy to ignore her. I turn back, only to see her gone, leaving behind her loud perfume. Why does she do that? Subtlety isn’t her strongest point, that much is obvious.

I head off to homeroom. Another free hour where I’ll be the only person studying whereas the rest of the student population actually live their lives. What the hell? I rebel. I change directions and head to the tracks. I need to run. I need to run one little brunette out of my mind.


I slam the door of my gym locker. Valenti, that bastard, is here. Getting fawned all over. Doesn’t he get tired of the adulation? Snerk ‘Course not. Asshole. Changing, I head out to the fields. If I competed in the interschool runs, I can tell you all right now I’d have made Valenti look like a jackass. He’s good. I’ve seen him run. But nothing that good that he deserves Liz. Sorry, I meant to say the trophy.

I shade my eyes against the glare of the sun and see not only Valenti, wondering out to the tracks, but Liz. In her gym slacks and WRH t-shirt and her gorgeous hair in a bun. She looks simply wonderful. I look away and my gaze lands on Valenti. He’s right next to me. I scowl inwardly. Can’t you take a hint? Obviously, he can’t. He smirks at me and says.

“Hey Evans.”

Kyle isn’t a bad guy. In fact, despite his jock status, he’s actually got a mind and sometimes, a semblance of a personality. I could have tolerated him if he’d stayed away from Liz. But…

“Kyle.” I nod my head.

He can see I’m not up for talking but that’s jocks for you. I give him another two seconds to make another inane remark about how cute the cheerleaders are, which party got nasty, what’re we doing in our next game…blah blah.

Surprisingly, there’s not another word. Color me stunned. Whatever. I crouch down and he does the same. Oh, is this a competition? You asswipe, you just got yourself creamed. I smirk evilly and think about gluing his sneakers to the concrete. Yeah, sure. I like to play fair, in case I didn’t mention it. I also like to win that way. So I have a bit of an ego. After the horrendous day I’ve had, can’t you spare me some?

I feel Liz’s eyes on us. The blonde she’s with happens to be a terror in the school. Or actually would’ve been one if they ever got their recognition. I’m sure Maria likes to think she’s severely terrifying but the truth is, no one cares. Until and unless you’re someone who’s rich, or have dozens of friends or are the current sweetie of the latest hottie or are the shallowest person in the school, you don’t count for much. Sad but true.

Look at Liz. She’s probably the brainiest and the most beautiful girl in school but who gives a damn? In the end of the day, all she’s known as is “oh, her.” Look at Alex. A genius with the computers and his bass and his sense of humor, he should’ve been a national treasure. Instead, he’s bullied by the supposed “cool people” in this school who have nothing but their fake egos and biceps and temporary popularity. Look at me. Look at Michael. Geez, life isn’t fair.

I breathe in and look at the coach. Clearly seeing the competitive air that hangs around, he’s on it like a shark. Chewing a piece of gum, he barks.

“Lads. You up for one?”

He’s a bloody Scot. Not only is his accent hard to understand although I have an immense interest in that part of the world, but so is his mentality. You’d think a person would excuse soccer practice when there’s bloody sleet falling outside. OK. So it doesn’t hail here but the rains…suffice to say, it seems like hailing. Still. This nut will simply never take NO for an answer. And God help you if you miss the penalty. Yeah. I play a little bit of soccer but that’s only because Michael likes to play and he just has to drag me everywhere he goes.

Coach McGivern yells. “Ready?”

I don’t have to look up to see Kyle cringeing. I’m doing the same. His voice sounds like an electric bullhorn. He blows his whistle and off we go.

I’m a good runner. I’ve said that before. Fully confident in my prowess, I steam ahead, knowing Kyle’ll be gassed after the first three laps. I breathe in and run along. Kyle, right beside me, doesn’t even break a sweat. S’ok. It’s just the first lap.

We pass the girls, warming up for some soccer. Liz looks steadily at us and I suddenly wonder what I’d do if she starts cheering for Kyle. I’m gonna bash his head bloody and I don’t care if they lock me up.

Something’s wrong. I’m not usually this possessive. Oh, I know I want Liz more than anything else but I’m not usually so…emotional. The last coupla weeks wreaked havoc on my psyche.

I run faster. Kyle keeps pace. I want more out of my life and the guy besides me is one of the reasons why I won’t be happy. I start sprinting. Bad move. I know. But I feel like I’m being chased and my speed picks up. Kyle, that bastard, levels me off again.

I feel the wind whipping across my face and I realize that I’m being a fool. I’ve had this talk with myself more times than I can remember. Aliens and humans don’t mix. I can’t open up. I won’t do it. Instinct, stronger than reason, tells me self-preservation is the key. I should be bloody grateful for the amazing life I’ve had so far and if I miss out on a few things, so be it. It’s not just me I’m worried about. There’re circumstances to consider. Ever heard of Guilty by Association? I can’t ever selfishly jeopardize Liz’s life like that. I can’t put my parent’s lives at risk. I’m not that strong. I’m not that…brave. I can’t.

OK? Happy? Perfectly. I scowl.

My conscience is back. You bastard!

We make the third lap and Kyle’s still beside me, keeping step. It’s not fair. Can’t he do something wrong? I turn into an out-and-out dash. I don’t care if I’m out of air by the fourth. I just want to get ahead of the jerk. Kyle lags behind a little and I push on. My legs feel like lead and my lungs are practically shriveled for lack of air but I burst through. The finishing line’s so close!

I gasp. Kyle Valenti has caught up.

I barely keep my howls inside. How?

He’s drenched. His breaths come in shallow gasps and his face is practically purple. Not that mine is anything different but I still hope I look less macabre than him.

We lock eyes for an instant and I don’t have to tell you what I see. He wants to beat me. It’s written in every line of him. What’s surprising is that Valenti, he of the school heroes actually thinks me as his competition. It’s strangely, a humbling moment.

Never mind! I bawl at myself. I don’t care about humility right now. All I want is to make him eat my dust. We’re in lock step and the finishing line’s not that far away. Drawing on the last reserves I have I push harder. And collapse promptly as Kyle breaks through, a second later.

Hee! I win! SUCKER!!!!!!

God, the thrill of winning.

Kyle collapses next to me and pants out.

“Who...the…f...HELL…where…you…running…from?” I smile and turn away. I don’t dare answer. He happens to be the local sheriff’s boy, in case I didn’t mention. I spot Liz and Maria looking at us. At the same moment, I feel the eyes of the entire school. Well, I cringe; I hope not the entire school.

Coach McGivern never shuts up. He jaw is dangling somewhere near the floor. The field’s quiet. The only sounds are coming from me and Kyle, gasping like dogs.

I look at him. He keeps his head high and I suddenly realize.

I just beat our track star. No one has yet beaten Kyle at this. Ever. I feel my heart hammering. My brain’s telling me to get the hell away from all the attention but my stupid sappy heart is soaking up my first ever moment in the spotlight.

I have to go. I have to leave and retreat back into my shell. I have to ditch this Neanderthal in my brain who wants me to “get a life.” I have one, thanks very much. But I’ll lose it if you don’t shut up. Can’t you understand? We can’t ever be…known. We have to stay fading into the background. Hiding in plain sight. I can’t blow up my life and lives of those around me just because I want something more. I understand. If only my brain would let my heart know, I’d be out of here in no time.

Jesus! What the hell is that?

A clap sounds in the background and all I can think of is how much it sounded like a gunshot. Move, you bozo!

I rise nonchalantly but Kyle grabs a hold of my arm. I yank at him fiercely and he scowls.

“What’s the matter, Evans?”

Lemme go!

“Nothing. Hey, I’ve to go.”

He doesn’t move. That piece of dog-shit! I feel helpless as the applause continues. Valenti has a firm grip on my arm and I’d like to kill him but even as logic prevails, I can’t help but smile at the feelings of my first ever ‘recognized’ victory flowing through me.

I see Liz. Is it just my imagination or does she actually look proud? She deliberately makes eye contact with me and with that, I snap out of my daydreams.

Enough is enough. It’s one thing to beat a guy like Kyle Valenti but quite another to soak up the adulation like I am a sponge. These sorta things? It ain’t for us. Both Michael and Isabel had avoided their achievements before and I should bloody well do the same. I gaze at Liz, my longing buried with only the barest of control and I duck quickly back inside.

Chicken. I’m just so yellow.





Xsara


Ok. this part was somewhat inspired by the scipt of the Dance (an unaired ep).

[dream on]

Chapter 2

Liz POV



It’s a Thursday night and the Crash is fairly hopping with people. We have a game tomorrow and the team has reconvened here to talk strategy and generally make everyone else’s lives miserable. Gag…if you just heard the pep rallies.

I see Kyle holding court. He’s probably the only athlete I know who can talk normally. Hey, I’m not a huge jock fan, k? They think they own the world or something all because they win a few games for the school. But Kyle’s a little different. Which is why I actually agreed to go out with him over the summer. WHAT? It was NOT serious. Not. at. all. It was just a summer casual fling and now that school has started, I’m pretty sure we’re both over it.

Maria keeps telling me otherwise. That girl is paranoid with a capital P. Kyle Valenti? Please. He’s like a god in this school. Why would he spend time with mousy me? Although I have to admit asking me out was a step I didn’t think he’d take. Guess there’s something there underneath all that cocky charm and general dumb attitude. No, that’s a bit harsh. Kyle’s not dumb…he’s just…I don’t know. He’s not my type anyways.

The front booths ring with the howls from the basketball team and I cringe. JESUS. Can you pipe down? The customers, mostly tourists left over from the Crash Festival are looking ready to either get the hell out of this place (which is not good for business) or rip my heart out in two. After all, the proprietor here would legally, be me. Goddamn you, you jerks. Shut up!

I see one family racing out, looking like aliens were in hot pursuit. Their waitress, Maria is panting like a dragon. Crap. I just know an explosion is imminent. I try and reach her but my hands are busy trying to make my uniform, which had a nasty run-in with a spoilt brat, somewhat presentable. Too late. It’s already too late.

Maria marches over to the table where * surprise, surprise * Max and Michael are sitting. She slams their orders down and I see twin frowns decorate the boys’ foreheads. Oh jeez, Maria, hit on the quietest bunch, why don’t you?

Max, being the gentleman that he is, keeps quite but I can bet there’ll be no nice tips he usually leaves for the waitresses. He isn’t all that nice. I know.

Michael on the other hand, growls.

“Watch it, blondie.”

There. He’s done it. He’s so done it. I reach Maria as her hand is heading directly at Michael’s somewhat spiky hair. I clamp her wrist and stretch my lips in the fakest smile I can manage.

“Order’s up, ‘Ria.”

I practically push her away and I can hear her starting to bitch. Clearing my throat loudly I look at my two patrons. They’re sitting there, eating the same thing they’ve been eating for the last ten odd years or so and I can’t help but smile at the memories I’ve had serving them. In fact, the tips these two leave, well, I should say ONE leaves (Michael is a serious miser) give my bank a/c quite an oomph.

I look up to see Michael staring disgustedly at me and Max blushing red. I wonder what I did.

“Hey, Max, Michael.”

“Hey.” Max’s voice is somewhat choked and I see a devilish glint coming into Michael’s eyes.

What now?

Ok. This is awkward. Why don’t they say something? I feel a blush setting in and I look around for something to do. Unfortunately, this is the moment the team picks to remain quiet. The rest of the patrons, well, they’ve been chased away a while back. That’s just great.

Drinks. Right. “What’ll you have?”

Max blushes more, if it’s possible. Michael, that ass, is practically laughing openly. What’s going on?

After a few seconds of embarrassing quiet, and I could feel Kyle’s eyes on me, I start to fidget. I mean, I realize there’s a joke here but for God’s sake, gimme the order and lemme go!

I decide to leave. Facing my dad’s wrath is better than being laughed at.

Max looks up from the menu he’d been hiding his red face in and says in an even tone.

“Cherry coke.”

Michael cuts off his guffaw as Max glares at him. I am this close to losing my patience. I barely look at him as I ask.

“You?” It’s no more than a mumble and I feel pathetic.

From the other side, Max is glowering.

I give up. I just don’t understand these two.

After finally able to get it in his thick skull that I have a job to do, Michael * asshole * Guerin replies with a smirk.

“An alien encounter.”

The toughest and the most time-consuming thing to make. BASTARD.

I stare at him in disbelief and then suddenly, an idea pops. My disbelief turns to a sad frown that bravely transforms into a small trembling smile. My face is turned towards Max and he can see everything perfectly. As expected, his lips tighten into a straight line. He looks at me helplessly and I smile and mouth “it’s ok”, all the while looking close to tears.

That isn’t faking it though. I can barely keep my laughter inside and my award-winning performance is apparently awesome ‘cause Max seems to be buying every word. He practically fumes at the mouth as I sigh tiredly and walk away.

I don’t get past two feet before I hear Max snarl at Michael in an undertone.

“WTF is the matter with you?” He only left out the SOB and I hide my giggles. As I run pell-mell into the break room I see Maria, hand raised. I go over there and smack her five.

She ruffles my hair and smiles.

“I just don’t know how you can serve that bastard. What an asshole!”

I shrug.

“He’s not that bad. And he wouldn’t have had to snap if you, Miss, didn’t slam his plates down like that. How many times have I told you? We are the jerks who had to go into the service industry. Now that we have, we have to deal with all the shit. God, why were we so stupid?”

Maria shrugs. “I dunno. Somebody must’ve given us something.”

We laugh at our usual well-worn joke. I head for the drinks, feeling a little better.

I fill a glass with cherry coke and impulsively add a bobbing alien straw. It’s cute. Green, maybe but very cute. A befitting thank you to a chivalrous hunk. Hee! I’m getting smooth.

I hum to myself as I turn. I hear Maria call out, rather frantically, “Wait, chica!” But I’m halfway to their table and I don’t stop. Maria can wait for a few seconds.

I smile at Max. Genuinely. He’s one customer I wish the rest were like. He’s not only considerate but courteous. I put the glass in front of him and my hand brushes his sleeve. I practically jump. My face feels like its on fire. Gazing at my shoes, I squeak out.

“Yours will be here soon.”

Obviously Michael got it bad from Max. He says in a gracious (wow, that’s rich) tone.

“Ta- uh, take your time.” Awkward, but sweet.

I keep my eyes averted and as soon as I can, I rush away. I don’t dare glance at Max. When I reach Maria, she gasps.

“Oh God!”

I whip my eyes up.

“What?”

“Shit! Oh SHIT!” Didn’t I mention Maria is one of the biggest divas around? She has a flair for drama, too.

Obviously, whatever’s got her in such a tizzy is no big deal. I use my calmest voice. I even add a smile.

“Something wrong, ‘Ria?”

“Something wrong?” she parrots back. “Yeah, I’d say so.”

“Hmmm?” There’s no cause for alarm, folks. This happens all the time.

“Liz.” This time, I do look at her. She’s serious. She point to something at my chest and squeals.

“Your…” she can’t finish it. I ditch the smile. I feel dread oozing around me as I glance down. The top three buttons in my uniform are, well, let’s say if I wanted to emulate Pam Troy (school slut) I’d do a damn fine job.


Arrrrghh!!! NO!!!

See, I’m not the type who believes in letting it all hang out. Clothes have been invented for a reason. I’m happier to be called a prude than a slut. And now this. And in front of one guy...well never mind that. There’s also the fact that the entire basketball team is here. Oh God. I think I’m gonna be sick. If my latest (and only) escapade hasn’t made rounds through school by tonight, I’ll shave off my hair, which is my one real asset.

Please. Most of the girls in my school usually can’t stand me because I not only up them with my IQ but there’s this other thing I’ve got going. I am probably one of the few girls who actually have some respect in that place. If word gets out that I was serving at the Crashdown, shoving my modest cleavage into the basketball team’s collective faces, I’ll be dead before long. I swear. Oh GOD!!!!

I glance around to see who’s noticed. My fingers fly and I choke as the top button’s intent on cutting off my air supply. I grunt and wheeze.

“Who?”

Maria, my lil angel, wipes her forehead and smiles. I stare. What’s there to be smiling about? This is a potential disaster!

“No one.” Her tone can only be called devious. I look around suspiciously.

“Who.” This time my voice can tame thunder. Maria smirks and points a finger at Max.

“Him.”

Can this get any messier?

Sheez. For the last couple of days, I’ve been going through this unnatural…thing. I don’t know why this had to spring on me NOW. Max and I have been lab partners for a year now. I always knew he was good-looking but it never came up like this! Now I blush every time he looks at me and I see stupid blinkin’ things that I’ve no clue about but they’re all about Max and help me!!! I think I’m losing my rather precious mind.

SEE? SEE!!! I don’t panic. Usually. I don’t go off into drama mode like Maria. I’m usually what people call a chill pill. Yes I know it doesn’t sound attractive but I vastly prefer it to a ditz. I never go off on wild tangents. What I’m trying to say here is I don’t usually behave like this. In fact I never behave like this. I always, ALWAYS stay in control. But now…now, it’s like someone put a force on me. I can’t think straight and I’m turning into some kind of freak. I wish to God I knew what the hell is going on.

Maria, currently giggling at what she thinks was a cute ploy, is not helping. I start chanting. If I scream now, I’ll nail my coffin shut. I squeeze my eyes shut and simply chant. A, B, C, D, E…hmmm, E…arrrrgh!!!! My eyes fly open and I’m now the deepest shade of purple. God, this is SO not happening.

Maria, that bitch, finally stops giggling. I glare balefully at her. She laughs harder and then puts an arm around me.

“It’s ok, chica. After all, if you wanted a guy to protect your virtue, you picked the best of ’em.”

I sigh thankfully. That much is true. Max is too much of a gentleman to ever say anything. That’s one of the reasons I think he’s so darned wonderful.

Hold it right there!

When the hell did I go about openly admitting (well, to my self) that I thought Max was wonderful? He isn’t! I mean, he is…oh jeez, this is not helping!!

I force myself to snap out of it. I glare one last time at Maria. She doesn’t smirk back. She’s looking over my shoulder. I turn too.

Mistake!

Kyle’s standing there, waving at me. There’s a song playing. It’s “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”. Deep Blue Something’s the band. As it’s plain to see, he wants to dance. With me. Here. Now. Oh…

I look around wildly. My parents are nowhere in sight and the only people left are the guys from the team and Max and Michael. Sweet Jesus. Why’s this happening?

I glance at Kyle. He’s smiling but I see a flash of insecurity in his blue eyes. I close my eyes as a rebellious thought enters. They’re not even close to Max’s.

SHUT UP, I roar back. I refuse to look at Max as I walk towards Kyle. He’s pushed two tables away and there’s a bit of space. He smiles at me and I feel like a heel. After all, I really don’t want to give him the wrong idea.

He holds out his hand and I take it limply. He puts an arm around me but keeps his distance. After the horribly conspicuous way I’ve been giving off unfriendly vibes, it’s not such a hard act to follow.

I stand stiffly but he gently nudges me. The music’s building and Kyle looks at me smiling mischievously. I gasp. I know this look. His smile gets bigger.

He swirls me about and after a while, I relax in his arms. He’s swinging me around, like a square dance and a laugh escapes me before I can clamp it down. The chorus breaks and he twirls me around. I’m shocked to say I’m actually having fun.


Don’t say that we have nothing in common.
No common ground to start from
And we’re falling apart.

I feel my hair flying all over the place as Kyle first dips me left and then drops me right. I laugh again. He’s wearing the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on him. In fact, Kyle Valenti, laughing, is news. If he doesn’t carry around a perpetual smirk, that’s not him. When the song ends, I’m spinning in his arms and we’re both ragged from all the laughing.

A chorus of claps, laughter and wolf whistles ensue. Kyle grins and bows. I shake my head but I can’t help smiling. Spontaneity is not my style but something out of the blue, although sometimes uncomfortable, is also fun.

I glance around. Max and Michael are still sitting although both of them are wearing bland expressions. I can tell Michael thinks I’m some kind of slut, especially after the display of cleavage. Max…well, it’s terribly hard to just look at him and say what he’s thinking. I catch his eyes but he just nods and looks away. Towards Kyle. He’s got a “that lucky dog” sort of smile on his face and I can’t help but preen over the fact that he may think I’m something of a catch.

Wow Liz, egomaniac much?

I soak up my moment in the limelight. After all, it’s not every day popular * and nice * guys dance with me in front of such a distinguished (catch the sneer?) audience. Gives the ego a little boost.

What??? I admit I have an ego but this is crazy! When have I turned so…diva-ish? I don’t really care which guy thinks what of me. I don’t care that my hair’s straggling and my face is a mess when I’m serving at the Crash. I don’t care about being popular and I certainly don’t dance around in public like…like that! It’s not just crazy it’s almost…surreal. Is this really me?

I reach up to re-tie my ponytail. It’s come loose and I’m practically eating my hair. Kyle stares at me unashamedly and I flush. Only a D.A. would miss that insinuation. What bothers me is the way he’s been acting. Kissing my forehead, putting his arm around me, dancing with me right now…surely he’s not thinking of going steady?

I clutch my chest. While hanging out with Kyle is well and good, there’s absolutely no way I’m going to go steady with a guy who I’m not * very * interested in. and I’m sorry…but Kyle and I…it’s hardly ‘very interested’ material.

I look around for a way out. I see Max heading towards the counter to pay and before I’ve even thought about it, my feet starts walking. Jeez, Liz, CONTROL.

I keep my eyes down when I reach them. I needn’t have worried. Michael doesn’t even look at me and Max doesn’t meet my eyes either. I tell myself it’s better that way. After all, if he knew I’d been dreaming of him cupping my face in his hands and staring into my soul, I don’t even want to imagine what I fool I’d make out of myself with that declaration.

I cough and snatch at the cash. And flounder like a landed fish. Why’d I do that? Damn! Max lets out a soft chuckle and it feels oddly pleasant to stand there and listen to him. I shake my head and he guffaws.

“Liz. I do pay. You should know.”

I can’t embarrass myself more if I tried. This day has been…something. I know my face is a ghastly shade of red and I hurriedly give him back his change, not even bothering to count it properly. All I want now is for him to leave so I can go upstairs and let off some steam.

Max takes his cash and pauses.

Leave!

He looks at me, baffled. Maria, standing nearby, gasps. Michael bursts out laughing. I stare at him.

“Did I shortchange you?” After all, he’s certainly looking at me like I did.

“Er, no. Liz. Did I do something?”

Jeez, Max, arrogant much?

“No.” This is strange. Max usually doesn’t behave so…weirdly.

He stares at me some more and then shakes his head.

“Rough day?” he smiles sympathetically.

“What?” I’m thoroughly confused with his warp leaps.

He shuffles his feet. “Y'know. It must’ve been one hell of a day.”

I nod dumbly. Yeah, it’s been one but what’s that got to do with him? Unless he figured it out!! OH. I feel this close to passing out. What’ll he think of me? Stark raving loonie? Man hungry half-crazed slut? Obsessive freak??? My mind boggles.

I blanch. This is bad.

Max is looking at me quizzically. I rush into speech.

“Yeah! Yeah…it’s been…” I spy Kyle and an idea pops. I’ll avert two potential crisis’s. “Strange. Fun, even.” I throw in off handly. Jeez, I am smooth.

Everyone in the vicinity of the conversation is gaping at me. Max looks like he can’t wait to get out of here. I smile kindly and give him his receipt.

He forces one in return and disappears.

I look at Maria. Well, that was weird.

She stares at me, stunned. Then she yells.

“Liz! What the fuck is the matter with you?”

HUH?

“What now?”

“Oh I’ll tell you.” She bobs her head viciously. “You practically told Max to get lost!”

“WHAT?”

“Even that bloke Michael heard! What’s wrong with you?”

I squeeze my eyes shut. I didn’t!! I did?? I peek out from one eye and look at Maria. I did. I definitely did.

Oh my friggin’ GOD!

“YOU!” I point my finger accusingly at the little blonde. With the bizarre mood I’ve been in, its no big shock that she jumps.

“Me?” she squeals.

“Yes, you. You’ve got me thinking these crazy things. It’s all your fault I’m acting like such a loose cannon!”

No one ever said I had to be perfect.

Maria certainly doesn’t think I’m being too perfect now. Actually she does. She thinks I’m perfectly insane. In fact, it doesn’t take too long for her to say it.

“You’re crazy!”

“Well, I’m certainly well on the way, all thanks to you! You’re the one filling my head with that drivel. ‘Max Evans is staring at you again’ ”. I mimic, feeling totally frazzled.

Maria mumbles, “I’m sorry.”

I huff. How bad can a day get?

She reaches over and puts an arm around me. I look miserably at her. By tomorrow, my reputation'll be shot to hell.

Alex enters the café, bringing a much-needed smile to my face. He has this teddy bear in his hand and I stop for a second and just wonder. How the hell does he know?

It’s funny. It’s almost as if we had ESP. He jiggles the stuffed animal in front of my face and I hold up my arms. I badly need a hug right now. He understands. I collapse into them and squash Maria in the process.

At her “Ouch!” something unravels inside. I giggle. Then I snort as a laugh simply erupts out of me. Maria catches on and very soon, all three of us are a tangled mess of arms and laughing, well, shrieking bodies.

I clutch my stomach. This day has been a disaster from get GO and if I didn’t have my friends around me, I’d be a psycho by now.

Alex cuddles me a little and I smile. Maria heads off to get our drinks and I drag myself after Alex as he plops in the booth just vacated by the cause of my current misery.

His eyes twinkle. “What happened?”

I yank at a lock of my hair.

“Truth or do you want reassurance that your closest friend has NOT turned mad?”

He chuckles. I must be going crazy. He sounds exactly like Max.

Arrrgh! I leap out of the table. Alex jumps up with me.

“FIRE!” he quasi-bellows.

I let loose another laugh. I’ve been going nuts all day. I think back to all the freaky stuff I’ve done and I can’t help but laugh self-deprecatingly. Some of it was funny.

Alex laughs with me. He knows how crazy I go when I lose control. Laughter is MY best medicine and he’s the one who provides tons of it.

I impulsively reach over and hug him. He rubs my cheek with his, although he’s a good foot taller and pushes me gently back into the booth.

I look at him, smiling unwillingly. He grins.

“Well?”

I sigh. “I pulled a prank on Michael, shoved my cleavage up Max’s face and then, then I danced with Kyle Valenti in front of the crowd in the Crash. What’d I leave out?”

Alex snorts the root bear through his nose. Maria plops down beside me and adds.

“You missed something.”

Right. “Right. Yeah, I apparently told Max to get lost sometimes during all this.”

Alex starts banging head against the wall. As miserable as I feel, I can’t help but laugh.

Finally he wheezes. “You didn’t!”

Gee, thanks Alex.

I nod my head. He looks me in the eye.

“Ok, so you acted like a ‘psycho’ by creating a scene in the Crash, is that what this is all about?”

“No. Not only that.”

“Thanks, Maria. I can answer for myself, y’know.”

She shrugs. “K.”

Alex wiggles his eyebrows. “What else besides that?”

I put my face in my hands and Maria chirps.

“Max Evans.”

“Max?” Alex is clearly baffled.

“Uh huh.”

A wink, a nudge, a little bit of smirking. I kick Maria’s legs and she quietens down.

Alex glares at me.

“What are you not telling me here?” he bawls.

Oh GOD.

“Nothing.” I say, my tiredness evident in my tone. Alex looks suspiciously at me but I sag against the seats and don’t look up.

He’s torn between giving me some kind of respite and wanting to hear it all. I practically make myself pale under his strident gaze and that convinces them both. Maria coos sympathetically and squeezes my hand.

“Why don’t you go on upstairs, chica? I can handle the Crash.”

I wheeze.

“I can’t do that, ‘Ria.”

“Of course you can. Whaddya mean, you can’t? I’ll close.”

“My turn.”

“God, can you be any more of a do-gooder?! This is me, ok? No obligations.”

I stifle my glee. Really, I’m not all that good as people think I am. I’m just smart.

“Maria. I’m not that tired. I’ll do it.”

She puffs up like a balloon and Alex, who’s probably seen through it all, comes rushing to the rescue.

“I’ll help her, Liz. No prob. Get upstairs.”

I mumble my truly heartfelt thanks, kiss them both and stumble upstairs.

Well, this has been a day.




Well?

Xsara

[dream on]

I am a Dreamer - welcome! Lol...and yeah. I understand perfectly. I feel the same way some times.


Chapter 3.

Max POV.


My head aches.

This entire past week has been nothing less than sheer misery. Not only did we have a maelstrom of schoolwork, which, by the way I’m totally comfortable with, but seeing Kyle hanging all over Liz was something I could do without.

I guess it’s official. They are probably WRH’s latest couple. Funny how it doesn’t look like she’s with someone, in Bio class, I mean. Aren’t you supposed to change…even a little when you’re into someone? Not Liz though. She looks the same as always (my pathetic self is saying WONDERFUL). Which is making this even more difficult.

If she were truly happy with Kyle, it would’ve broken my green (and not because it’s alien, DA) heart but I’d finally be able to move past my regrets. This way, it’s neither here nor there and I, stupid wuss that I am, I am doing nothing else but moping. Y’know…I figured out my problem. The main reason I want Liz to act like she really is into Kyle is because then I’ll finally be able to give myself a solid reason not to pursue that avenue. If she’s already with someone, that lets me off the hook, right? So there.

Of course, the fact that I am an alien is probably my soundest excuse but it doesn’t count for much when heart wars with logic. When Liz Parker tucks her hair behind her ear and smiles. When I’m being a delusional dumbass, too?

Oh shut up.

See? SEE? This is exactly what I mean. From the minute I get up to the minute I go back to sleep (which is very rare these days), the Battle of the Minds go on. All I get out of it is an abominable headache and a desire to wipe out whoever thought of letting me hatch on earth.

Wait a minute…HATCH??? Where the hell did that come from?

Jeez, I’m more fucked up than I thought.

I must be, if I seriously want Liz to be happy with some guy other than me.

Never mind! I can’t deal with you two again! I’m thinking of nicknaming them…y’know, so that it gets a little less confusing. How about Loser for my brain and Wimp for my heart, huh? Yeah…how ‘bout that.

I bang my head on my pillow and wince. My nerves feel like they’re being scraped off. Maybe I should heal myself, huh? Can I?

I’ve had my powers for as long as I can remember and the one time I used them was to heal some pathetic bird with a broken wing. God, what a shithead. I still get nightmares when I think about what I did. How the hell could I’ve healed a bird in front of other people for God’s sake! The so-called inbuilt alarms we have that ring up at bloody inconvenient times would have been a darned sight more useful then.

I should practice my powers. That is the only thing that’s going to keep me from wondering why Liz should be with Kyle.

I race out of the house. I feel that need to run again. It’s been coming to me quite often lately. Out of nowhere I’d feel the need to just get up and run the hell away. Anywhere. And more often than not, I end up in the desert. Why?

I am halfway across town by now. Oh um, yeah, didn’t I mention I run fast? When my brain finally realizes that my lungs are shriveled, I slow down. Still at a jog, I involuntarily head towards the desert.

Why, dammit?


After a tiring (and LONG) trek, I’m finally here. I look up at the sky as I collapse on the sand.

Wow.

Now I know why I come here.

The sky looks amazing. There are every kind of stars there and I don’t have to tell you how bright they look. There they are, twinkling away. I feel this undefined need. Something inside wants to get loose. Wants to reach out and grab what’s his.

I sigh.

Not on this planet, you moron.

There’s Venus. I clench my fists. It reminds me so much of Liz…I can’t help it, ok? She’s the sole beautiful thing in my life. Just one thing I want to call my own. And in my own way, I do. I don’t think about how different we are when I think about her. I think about everything I see in her that the rest of the world doesn’t. I think about all the little things that she does and her little gestures and quirks and well, you get the general drift. These are all mine. I staked a claim on them the day I stepped out of the bus and saw a seven-year old little tyke, playing around.

Go me. I’m having a pity party. * sigh * Why can’t I ever leave well enough alone?

The stars wink at me and I’m filled with homesickness. I know, I know…I’m a selfish bastard. After all, I have a pretty comfortable life. A very good one, actually. I have two wonderful people I can call as parents and a sibling, who, well, is more trouble than she’s worth most of the time but still…I have people I can call my own. People who care about me. I’m not an outcast. In fact, considering the fact that I’m actually inhuman, people around here have treated me quite well.

Well, they don’t know I’m of non-human status. What? You think I’m crazy?

Of course, all that still doesn’t wipe out the feeling of wanting to belong somewhere. Belong to someone. But ignore me, I’m throwing a weeping bash for myself.

I roll over on my stomach and for one crazy second, I feel like I’ve done this before.

JeeSUS. This is getting crazier every single day. What the fuck is the matter with me???

Ok. Enough. ENOUGH. I whip my sorry ass off the ground and look carefully about. No sign of anyone. Good.

I steady my hand and slowly pass it over a rock I’d picked up. It changes its colors to pink.

Hyuk. I pass over it again and now its black. My fingers brush it and when I see the object I’ve turned it into, I fling away the damn thing, disgusted at myself.

Jeez. Us teenage boys, we’ve only got one thing on our minds. I look back at the condom lying on the ground. Maybe somebody’ll have use for it.

I scruff my shoe on the sand and decide to try something else. I find a jagged piece of rock and scrape my hand over it. True to form, blood erupts out of the torn skin. I glance around again and then put my palm over the cut. A soft light emanates as I glare malevolently at the cut and as if I’ve willed it, the skin mends and the cut disappears.

I grin. If I ever go into the medical field just think of my track record. Of course, there’s the slight question of side effects.

Goddamn nonsense! Why can’t I even gloat over my little achievements? Its like this annoying voice is always on the guard. Can’t show too much joy, Max. Gotta be under control.

Under control, my ass. No one I know has more control than I have, ok? So back off.

Selfish prick. Won’t even let me have two seconds of fun.

STOP IT!

I feel the monster headache racing back.

Hurriedly, I plop back down and gaze at the sky. The night wind is cool and slowly the pain lessens. I simply lie there and take in the solitude. The jagged peak of the high rock juts out against the sky, breaking the darkness but still, so much a part of the shadows.

That’s me. Unreachable, untouchable, yet blending in.

Why can’t I be Venus? Why can’t I be that shooting star that’s breaking the monotony of the night? Why the hell can’t I stand out?

I sigh and rest my cheek on the hard ground.

Because I can’t. Because I won’t. My life and my family won’t survive it if I do.



****~****



I reach school late. Yesterday, I’d been mooning over at the desert for so long, I’d actually fallen asleep there. When I’d woken up, my neck wasn’t the only thing that was cramped. I kept getting visions of Liz next to me, my arm around her, her face awash in the early morning sun. Needless to say, my heart felt black and blue by the time I made it back home.

First period is over. I can hear the class bells ring just as I step into school. Great. I missed Bio.

I stumble over to my locker. If anyone so much as talks to me today, I’ll kill them.

This jock next to me slams his locker shut and I feel like stuffing him in it. Why are people so rude? I glare at his retreating back and yank my books out.

Math.

I have NO patience with counting. I’ve been counting all my life. I just can’t do it today.

The second bell rings and I’ve made up my mind. Am not going to class.

I close my locker and immediately am surrounded by Isabel and Michael.

“What?” I growl out.

Isabel goes red and Michael goes black. They look like twins suddenly. I wonder what they’d say if I told them how alike they look at the moment. I don’t…because I never get the chance.

“Where the hell did you go yesterday???”

Oh for fuck’s sake, I forgot.

“Well?” Isabel’s shriek just shattered the windows.

I look at Michael. He’s wearing that same worried, haggard look. I sigh and glance down. Imagine my life. I took a few hours off just to concentrate on me and this is what greets me the next day.

I can’t even call a few hours my own.

Isabel is yanking my arm out of the socket. Michael is boring his eyes into my skull. I wish I could just disappear.

I pull my mutilated arm away and manage a soothing tone.

“I was just practicing my powers. No biggie.”

This time its Michael.

“NO BIGGIE? How the hell were we to know that?”

“Ok. OKAY. I’m sorry. I’ll call next time.”

“You’re sorry? Do you know how worried I was?”

“Isabel. Drop it. I know. You made it plenty clear. Can you now please pipe down?”

“I’m NOT going to pipe down! You selfish bastard! How’d you think I felt when Mom told me you weren’t in bed?”

I’d have felt relieved there but of course, I don’t say that.

“I don’t need a keeper. You throw that line in my face every time we have to clean the house. Why didn’t you use that line with Mom then?”

“Why are you so damned insensitive?”

“Why am I…?” I trail off. She is simply unbelievable.

“Yes you are! Didn’t you even think what it’d have looked like if you weren’t found at home?”

I glare at Michael. You dog. Where are our fraternal bonds now?

“Isabel. I’m sorry. Ok? Happy? Next time I’ll let you know.” And if you don’t get out of my way NOW…I- I will make your hair go flat.

She utters a furious little shriek. Michael mercifully seems to have come back to life. He yanks me away. I sigh with relief.

That’s short-lived.

He’s marching me towards the Eraser Room.

Oh Holy Fuck.

A guy is taking me to the Eraser Room. The Temple of Eros in WRH. A guy…

I dig in my heels and Michael stumbles with the sudden lack of weight. He turns on me. I stand my ground, fully prepared to do battle. There’s no way in hell a guy’s taking me to the Eraser Room.

I hear a small choked giggle. Michael looks away and I follow his gaze. Maria and Liz are standing there. Liz is trying not to laugh whereas Maria is giggling heartily.

God, the things I get into.

Michael remembers where he’d been tugging me. He lets go of my hand, his face crimson. I glare at him.

It took you that long to figure it out, dumbass.

I go over my options.

A – I can pretend nothing happened and go to class.
B – I can stand here like an ass and stare at the girls.
C – I can deny everything (although they haven’t even said anything) and make a bigger jackass outta myself.
D – I can just wait in the Eraser Room, without Michael.

True to form, I shift my books in one hand and shove Michael towards his class. He, gimp that he is, runs like a rabbit and leaves me to clear the mess.

I force a smile and mumble a ‘hi’. And when I try and move past them, my feet get stuck. I simply can’t move.

Liz is wearing a gray top and a short skirt and I just can’t take my eyes off her smiling face.

She looks at me, puzzled. After all, if a girl braked in front of me and stared at me like I was her next meal, I’d do the same thing. However my stupid STUPID brain simply can’t process the fact that drooling visibly over girls is way uncool. So I keep standing there, knowing I should run the fuck away into the next state but still, don’t move a single inch.

Liz looks away, a blush staining her cheeks. I cringe. My LOSER brain doesn’t listen.

Maria clears her throat.

“Hey, Max!” she chirps.

“Hey.” That’s strange. My voice doesn’t sound so abnormal.

Liz smoothes her face into a genuine smile and I feel my composure crack a little bit more.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Ugh. Get me out of here!

The wind blows a few strands of silky hair over her face and before I’ve even thought about it, I reach out and tuck them behind her ears, the way I’ve seen her do a thousand times. The way I’ve wanted to do for a thousand times.

Maria gawks.

Liz blushes even more.

I stare at her, my heart floundering near my very wobbly knees. What’d I DO?! If it hadn’t been for Maria, I’d have run screaming out of there. Oh GOD what’s wrong with me? And what’s worse is that I seem to have done this before. With Liz clad in leather, her hair gelled and looking awesome.

Oh sweet Mother of God, help me! HELP ME!

I gape at her and she looks down into the ground, scuffing her sandals into the tiles like she wants to burrow a hole into it. I wonder if she’d dig me one. I want the earth to open and swallow me up.

Finally, when I’m sure I can’t embarrass myself anymore even if I tried, I clear me throat.

“You had a…”

“Hair thing.” She completes.

My heart lurches against its restraints. I’m sure, bio whiz or not, Liz would NOT be amused by a tap dance of my bloody heart on the floor.

Finally, I think all my mortification made an impact on my fucked up brain. My feet feel loose. I blurt out.

“Yeah. Listen. Have to go. Class. Yeah. Gotta jet. Bye.” Even I have a hard time understanding what the hell I am talking about.

Liz tucks her book under her arm and smiles shyly at me. “Chemistry. Yeah. Let’s go.”


I think I’ll faint now.




The shades in the Chem. Lab are drawn. Streaks of sunlight splash into the class. I’m here mangling molasses.

Liz is sitting right next to me, busy recording the experiment. Just the sight of her graceful fingers sets my heart off again. I close my eyes and think back to how wonderful it felt to just walk beside her to class. It felt so natural that even I was surprised. I shred the molasses to strips, wondering at the day I’ve had. If this isn’t amazing, I don’t know what is.

I reach for the beaker just as Liz does. My hand glides over hers and I can’t help but jump. Her skin’s so soft, so warm but the touch of it is electric. I keep my gasp from erupting and smile an apology, although I’m not the darnedest bit sorry. Quite the opposite.

To any God who’ll listen, my heartfelt gratitude.

She smiles and tucks her hair back. I smother the need to grab her and yank one molasses rope apart.

Something dawns.

I smile at her silently and whisper.

“I’ll help you, if you’ll help me.” Please, please, help me.

Liz smiles adorably and hops off the stool.

She ducks under my stretched arm and it takes everything inside not to hold her to me. One hand slips over the syringe (ugh) and the other gently rests on mine as we try and pull some of this gross substance into the damn thing.

I take my time. She smells like strawberries and I can’t find the willpower to move away. I’m standing too close, I know, but hey, she came to me.

She stands there in the circle of my arms, pumping the needle full of molasses and I am way too engrossed in watching the sunlight play over her hair to notice that she’s done my work.

She bends to check something and then ducks back out. I feel…I don’t know. I can’t describe it.

For the first time in my life, I’ve taken a chance. Look how that worked out. My elation knows no bounds. I wonder, I truly wonder…

Liz taps me on my palm. I look at her. She nudges the report a little and understanding floods back to me.

I smirk at her.

“Liz Parker, relegating work to moi? What is the world coming to?”

She laughs softly.

“You’re talking. I believe this is the first time you’ve voluntarily asked me to help with the experiment.”

I blanch. I know how right that is.

She smiles wickedly at me.

Over the roar of my blood I can barely make out her saying “I don’t enjoy school work all that much. I’m more than happy to share half of it with you.”

I grab the notebook like a lifeline. I can’t look at that hopeful face and still walk away. I’m not that strong.

She lets me.

We go back into our shells and as the class nears its end, I’m confident I can go back to my usual blahness.

MS. Hardy spoils it all. That bitch has it in for me. I know so.

“Outside forces. They're very powerful. Nothing in the universe is immune to them. If no man is an island, then no molecule lives in a vacuum. Heat makes them expand, and cold forces them together. They even affect each other.”

Now if that doesn’t sound exactly like our case, I don’t know what does.

Liz touches me lightly on the shoulder as we start clearing up.

“So. You going to Katherine Lestor Day Dance?"

I gulp. Outside forces. The Dance. Oh my freakin’ God.

The legend goes that there was this high school couple who lived here and they were going out for, like, four years and they were madly in love but they could never tell each other. So on the afternoon before the UFO crash, the boyfriend finally told Katherine how he felt by saying that his soul belonged to her and he wanted to know if he could be trusted with hers.

But she was so freaked by his telling her after all those years, she couldn't answer. So they made this deal. She was supposed to come to his house and tell him how she felt. But by the time she got there, the crash had happened and he'd disappeared. Never to be seen again.

Yeah, apparently abducted by aliens. How silly. If they crashed into the damn desert then how the heck would they take the guy?

These are stupid stories blown out of proportions and people get away with it because this is Roswell. Alien capital of the world. Land of dorks. Needless to say, this dance has been a hot topic in the school for a couple of days, what with the theme being Unrequited Love. Sounds familiar?

I look at Liz. She’s busy packing her stuff but I can tell she wants to know.

Now what? What am I going to do?

I already took way more chances than I ever should have. I shouldn’t do this. I won’t do this.

Wait a second. Isn’t the main fact about this dance that girls get to ask the guys?

FUCK.

Is Liz asking me to the dance?

I want to beat my head bloody. Goddammit to hell and back.

I gulp and glance at her bent head. She’s not looking at me anymore and something tells me that before I’ve even opened my mouth, I’ve answered.

I try and force a normal tone.

“Not sure yet. I mean, I-I…” I stutter and trail off lamely.

She looks directly at me. I keep my eyes averted. I can’t refuse Liz. But I can’t accept what she’s offering either.

Finally she talks.

“Oh.”

There’s like a five second interval. The bell’ll ring any second now and this is do or die. I don’t have to tell you what my pathetic self has chosen.

Size up my shroud. I’m gonna die. I should die.

Two seconds. Liz jerks her head to a side, a sign she’s fidgeting.

I close my eyes against the sudden pain. Why doesn’t she say something?

Listen you jerk. If she said something, she’d have to ask you. Only to get herself rejected. What kind of a bastard are you, anyways?

NO! NO!

Crrrrring.

We both sigh and haul our books up. My one shining moment just went and dunked itself in shit. God, why am I SO damned yellow?

Liz rushes out of the class like a bat out of hell and I crawl back to my locker, my tail well between my legs. I just realized how tremendously stupid I’ve been.

The night at the desert comes back to me and I straighten up a little. After all, I still have my memories of today.

Granted, I could’ve had a hell of a lot more stuff to dwell on later but what I have, I’m happy with.

I slam my locker door open and chuck my books in it. My sleeve gets caught in a hook and I can still smell strawberries on it.

I lean my forehead against the metal.

Sometimes, even when you try really hard not to have too many expectations, the things you want don't go away. They're still right there...reminding you, all the time, of what you can't have.

But I’ll be grateful for what I do have. As soon as I can make my poor, pathetic heart understand that.





Well?

Excerpts taken from the unaired episode - Tha Dance.

[dream on]

I'm not dead...lol...no. Thanks for the fb and the bumps, guys. sorry for the long delay. my semester just ended (if you can believe it). anyhoo....enjoy!




Chapter 4
Liz POV.


It’s been a week since the Dance. I asked Kyle.

Don’t look at me like that. I practically asked Max if he wanted to go. He didn’t say yes. In fact that was a very diplomatic “no”.

Why do I keep beating myself up over the guy?

I’m going out with Kyle. I know I shouldn’t but…wait. WAIT. Why the hell shouldn’t I anyways? I’ve nothing going with Max. I don’t think its ever going to be something…more. More than what we have at present. Which is this circle of awkward glances, shy smiles and tingles that race through me every time he looks at me. And running away.

That’s not…much.

Who am I kidding? Ever since the shooting, no, actually before that, ever since I started getting those visions I can’t stop thinking about Max. It’s like this whole other avenue has opened up. Which is silly again, considering we’ve really done nothing.

I reach into my last desk drawer and take out the journal my Grandma gave to me. I’ve been writing in that journal for as long as I wanted to be a scientist. ‘Cause you know, that’s what scientists call their diaries.

I read back over previous entries. Ever since September, my obsession with Max started. Why? Why, after all these years we’ve known each other? Why goddamn September? The only thing different in that month was the shooting.

I circle around the visions. Involuntarily, my hands start sketching something. I don’t even look down. I’m too busy thinking about why I’m suddenly so aware of a guy I know for like ten years.

My brain’s screaming “Visions”. That’s just plain nuts! I snap back at it. After all, these are probably my fantasies ONLY, nothing to do with him except the way his eyes glint in the sunlight.

Molten jade. Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh!

SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

God, I’m going nuts. Hormones. It’s the damn hormones.

I sigh, satisfied. Well, if its hormones then I can remedy that. I can control it, is more like it.

My mind slightly at ease, I look down.

Oh Christ. What the hell is that?

I’ve drawn an alien handprint. A lot like the icky green ones that hang around in the Crash except there’s something different about this. I don’t know what but I can tell its not the same.

I stare at it in shock. Why would I draw an alien handprint? Too damned much time in the Crashdown, that’s what. I’m going to tell my dad. There.

I chortle in glee. If this doesn’t cut off my hours there…responsibility pokes it head. After all, if I take time off, they’re going to have to hire a new hand or chip in themselves. I can’t do that.

Drat.

I glare at the sky and then start writing.


Dear Diary.

This is Liz Parker going crazy. Have you ever thought of signs in front of you, directing you? Guiding you, making you do some things you’re not sure you should do but you can’t help yourself?

What do you do? Do you stand back and let things go on as before? Or do you dare to take a chance? What happens when taking that chance leads you to something you were never meant to reach?






It’s a fuckin’ zoo in here. I’m at the Crash and we’re having an orthodontist convention in Roswell.

Someone tell me why we have to have orthodontists here?

Maria comes up to me as I place an order. She flings an arm around me and latches on. I smile. I can feel how tired she is. I’m no less.

“Chica, I’ll kill your parents.” She mumbles.

I mutter. “You’ll have a willing accomplice.”

I can’t believe how filled this place is. Every two seconds, customers are pouring in. And if I see my dad gloating one more time, I’m gonna kill him. What doesn’t he get? His precious little daughter is here, breaking her back over feeding this continuous stream of people.

Oh, speaking of daughters…

“ ‘Ria. Grandma Claudia’s coming tomorrow.”

Maria cheers up as if by magic. I can well understand the sentiment.

My paternal grandmother is a person who’s simply amazing. She’s been an inspiration in my life so far and I really wonder what I’d have done without her.

A headstrong but pragmatic woman, Claudia Parker made a name for herself with her work in the Native American History. She’s a voracious human rights crusader and even as a sixteen year old I don’t fail to be impressed with stories I’ve heard since I was knee-high. I’d gloat more but the café’s hopping.

My grandmother’s presence in my life has enriched me in ways I can’t describe. She lives far way and her visits are far in between. Which is why I’m counting the hours till I can see her again. I need her wisdom right now. I need her to make sense out of this temporary insanity.

Maria’s babbling about how she loves my grandmother. I nod my head.

"I know. She’s like the basis of my existence.” Which is very true. I mean, I love my parents but I find it so hard to talk them like I do with my grandmother. Maybe because I’m more like her in some ways. Ok…in many ways.

Jose pops up with another one of my orders.

“Thank you.” And how I’m going to carry three monstrous plates, I don’t know.

I grunt and balance them all. My arms feel like deadweight. Groaning, I stumble my way to the table.

A group of orthodontists smile gleefully at their meal. I roll my eyes. Like they need eighty grams of fat?

“Here you go. And your Space Platter will be right out.”

The chimes above the door jingle and I turn halfway.

“Enjoy yo…”I don’t complete that.

Max just walked in. He’s wearing his leather jacket and I can’t seem to keep my damn mind on the job.

“…wonderful overbite.”

“What?” I rasp.

The fat one in their middle speaks up. “We were wondering if we could take a look at your bite?”

WHAT? I look at their faces but no, they’re not leering. I grimace. Now what?

"Umm…”

He hastens to assure me. “For medical purposes.”

Yeah right.

“Sure.” I bare my teeth in a wide smile, feeling like a fool. This is crazy!

Max smiles as if he can’t help himself.

My heart thuds.

I try and wipe that sappy expression off my face but it’s hard. I smile back at the men.

“Magnificent.” They proclaim.

“Enjoy your meal, gentlemen.”

I rush off to Max as soon as I can.

Jesus, how pathetic. This is the guy who practically refused you!

Fine. You find me another guy who looks as good as he does in that jacket and I’ll listen to you.

Damned hormones!

I feel my cheeks starting to flush. Max watches me approach. Why’s he staring?

“It’s an orthodontists’ convention.”

Ugh. Simper much?

“Apparently.” He stares right back at me.

I can’t breathe.

Talk, Parker.

“Uh, so are you waiting for Michael or Isabel?” Jeez, can I sound any more breathy? He keeps looking at me, his eyes two orbs of jade.

I try and stop panting. I’m sure my drool has puddled at my feet by now.

“No. No.”

I gaze at him lasciviously. He’s not looking away either.

Breathe, Liz. Breathe.

I’m stunned. Lust has a lot to recommend to it.

Finally, Max probably realizes what he’s been doing. Hurriedly, he clears the look in his eyes.

“Oh, umm, I’ll just have an alien blast.”

“I’ll have you, too.” I mutter as I write his order down.

He coughs. “Excuse me?”

I stare at him. I’ll have you too. I’ll have you too. I’ll have you too? Oh shit! Not YOU!!!!

I flush purple. Scratch that. I turn black. Fuck. FUCK! No, no – not fuck. Arrrgh!

“Umm, nothing. * cough * yeah. Um, the dish. I mean, the thing on the menu! I’ll, uh, I’ll have the same thing.”

Oh GOD.

Max smirks at me slyly. “You want me?”

I stop breathing altogether.

“No!” YES!!!!

Max makes a sad puppy face. “I’m terribly wounded.”

I can’t help laughing but I see a flash of something in those gorgeous eyes.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts.

This is madness. This is awkward and stupid and horribly…horribly exhilarating. I can’t believe flirting with Max would be so…freeing.

I flush as he crinkles his eyes at me. He’s just so sweet, it breaks my heart.

Max continues to chuckle softly at my discomfiture.

I laugh again, albeit unwillingly and punch him lightly on his shoulder.

“You’re such a jerk!”

He laughs aloud. I blush all over. I can’t seem to stop looking at him.

Man, this is nuts. I know my attraction to him is pretty tangible but this…this is unbelievable. It’s like a dangerous live wire, fizzing about. Little zings go through me in intervals. My nerve endings feel like they’re on fire. I feel…alive.

He growls playfully and I suddenly get why this is so different.

Max is actually reciprocating. For the last ten years, all I’ve had from him were normal niceties and an unfailing courtesy. This is different. This is…I still don’t know what this is. But this is ok.

This is all right. This’ll last me forever.

I look at him directly. I won’t push him. But I need to know why.

Max comes back to earth in a zap.

There’s this curious look in his eyes. He knows what I want to ask him! He does. I can see it in his eyes.

I open my mouth. Finally!

“Max…I…” I can’t finish. The plea in his eyes is too naked to ignore.

My heart feels like deadweight. Why won’t he ever say anything?

I look down at the floor, willing a sudden tear back into the socket. I can’t bawl over this!

Wait. What exactly happened out here? When did we reach this territory? I feel totally frazzled.

I look back at him. He’s got a small smile on his face. I know this smile. It’s the only expression I’ve ever seen on his face before today. His wall is back, full force.

I clear my throat. Max looks up but he doesn’t meet my eyes. No problem. Its not like I’m looking at him either.

“Max. I, uh. I’ll just get these…anything to drink?”

“Y-Yeah.” His voice breaks slightly. “Yeah. A che...”

I roll my eyes, trying to put the sudden pain behind me. “A cherry coke. Jeez, Max. Why don’t you ever try something new?”

He looks like I just stabbed him in the heart. HUH?

“Sure. Maybe another time.”

“Ok.”

I walk away, more puzzled than ever.

I take an inordinate time fixing his drink. I’m in no hurry to rush back to him.

Maria comes up to me.

“Chica! OMG!”

Oh no.

“You were totally flirting with him!”

“Keep it down!” I hiss at her.

“You were totally flirting with him!” she whispers back.

I shake my head. My traitorous heart might refuse to listen but I’ve a damned stubborn mind.

“No. We were just talking.”

“Do you think I’m blind? Or stupid? Or just plain dead? Because it was plenty obvious to everyone out there what you guys were doing. Ok?”

Urk.

“Huh? What ‘doing’? We weren’t doing anything. I just took his order.”

Maria smiles at me sweetly. “Oh Gidget! Come on! You were, for once, pulling out all stops and lemme just say, he wasn’t doing any less.”

I am aghast. “What do you mean? Were you eavesdropping?”

Maria goes off into gales of laughter and I cringe.

Finally she pants out.

“Listen. You guys were sparking, ok? I didn’t need to listen. I could see it.”

I contemplate suicide but rule it out. There’ll be something better and I wouldn’t have to do anything. You’ll see.

I take the glass back to Max. He has his History text out and looks engrossed with Raphael’s Madonna.

I put it down. Max smiles his thanks and goes back to the bitch. I glare at his bent head. Suddenly he looks up.

Crap. He probably saw that ugly scowl.

He blushes. “Hey, I’m not perverted. I can’t help it if these idiots only draw nudes!”

His tone is light and teasing.

I stop for a second and think back to how exciting it’d been, flirting with Max. Compared to that, this is tame. This is mild. This is also, something I can live with. I smile. Friendship should be good enough for us, huh? Especially since I’m somewhat dating Kyle.

“Oh Max. The things you say.”

He blushes again and swallows the coke. I laugh and waddle away.

That’s enough of my Max quota. I can’t deal with more surprises. Maria sees me heading to the break-room and gives me a thumbs-up. I smirk back at her and push through the doors.

When I’m finally alone, I allow myself to feel the regret. Why didn’t I take the chance? Because you’re smart.

Maybe, but if he falls for another girl, I’ll kick you to kingdom come.



****~****


My grandmother’s dying.

I can’t believe this. She just came to us yesterday.

Grandma came early Friday morning. I’d skipped school because I wanted to be there when she came. She’d hugged me and instantly known there was something wrong.

That is why I love my grandmother so much. I don’t even have to tell her anything, she just knows.

I only spent about three hours with her. Between serving at the Crash and a date with Kyle, I’d hardly had time for her. Now…now I want to kill myself. I want to kill Kyle. I want to kill all those customers. They’d kept me from Grandma and now I may never get the chance to tell her how sorry I am.

Maria’s telling me I’m being irrational. I know that. She’s telling me that’s good. Why? Why should “feeling” be any good? All I’m feeling is guilt. I’m drowning in it.

I can’t stand here and watch that vital woman lie there like a piece of wood. It’s too hard. My heart can’t take it.

Why, God, why?

My head aches. My heart aches. There’s no part of me that’s not aching.

I close my eyes against the visions of Grandma crumbling to the floor, like a rag doll, her gray head stark against the red rug. She looked so old, so fragile. I’d just come back from my date with Kyle and my mother was showing Grandma that rug she’d finished weaving recently. She’d collapsed out of nowhere.

The doctor says it was a stroke.

That stroke just ended her life. They’re mouthing all the usual reassurances but I know. She’s not coming back.

I bolt out of the waiting room. I can’t stand to be there and do nothing.

The hospital smells of death. I run into the parking lot…and stop short.

There’s Max.

I feel tears overwhelming me. I can’t deal with him now. Not now.

My brain is so completely numb right now that I walk right up to him, even though I’ve no intention of talking.

He looks at my face and my vision blurs.

Max takes a hold of my elbow and pushes me to a bench. I sit dumbly. I still don’t know what I’m doing with him.

“Why?”

“My grandmother. S-she had a stroke.”

He looks at me, a wealth of sorrow in his eyes.

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“She’s dying. I’m losing her. She’s going to go away.” I sound like a five year old.

Max doesn’t say anything.

I’m grateful for his silence. I don’t want to hear anything right now. Nothing except “Honeybear!”

One tear slips out and I jump up. I have to get away.

Max looks at me compassionately. But he evidently understands how I feel because he simply nods and stands up as well.

Then it dawns on me.

“Y..” my voice breaks. “Why’re you here?”

He stares at me for a second.

“Picking up my mom’s report.”

“Is she all right?” I saw Mrs. Evans two days ago! She looked fine.

“Yeah. Yeah. I hope so. Just her back.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I suppose you’ll be here a while?”

“Yes.”

Someone calls my name. We both whirl around. It’s Kyle.

I stumble and Max catches me.

I whisper brokenly. “She’s dead.”

His grip is firm and he’s marching me back to Kyle.

“No. You don’t know that, Liz.”

Kyle grabs a hold of my free hand and squeezes it. I valiantly restrain from bursting into tears.

“Liz. She woke up.”

I stumble again and this time I fall and drag the other two down with me.

I’m sitting there on the cold hospital tiles, my hands clutching those of two grown boys. We look like we’re playing “Ring around roses”. I‘m too happy to care whether I’m making a scene or not.

Max sighs in relief. Kyle however doesn’t change his grim expression. Max notices it before me.

“What’s wrong?”

Kyle glares at the floor. There’s a vise around my heart when two seconds ago there’d been joy.

“Um, Liz. You need to go to her. I don’t think she’ll be…uh…able” he doesn’t finish that.

He’s yanking me up as he speaks and my hand slips out of Max’s grasp.

Max waves us off.

I take off at a dead run, Kyle not far behind.

When I reach the ICU, I see my father outside. My mom’s holding him as he comes apart.

Dread. I’m wading through it.

Kyle tactfully leaves to call Maria and Alex. He knows this is a family moment. I stare dumbly at my parents, unable to believe this is actually happening.

My mom whispers softly.

“She wants you, honey.”

I bolt inside.

Grandma lolls her head to one side. She looks like she’s already gone. I surreptitiously wipe my eyes. I’m determined to be brave. For her sake. A tribute to the woman from whom I’ve inherited that bravery.

She doesn’t talk but her eyes feast on my face. She’s going to miss me as much as I’m going to miss her.

I clutch her hand to me.

“Grandma. I love you.”

I can’t be coherent. Don’t even expect me to be.

She smiles, her eyes twinkling. I smile too. Her spirit’s not dead. It won’t be.

“Honeybear.”

My heart lurches. That’s one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard.

“I love you too.”

“Oh Grandma!” I viciously choke back my sobs and continue in a firmer voice. “What am I going to do without you?”

“Why, love. You’re going to be just fine. When I look at you, I see myself, with that same zest for life. Promise me you’ll keep it alive.”

“I will.” I can’t deny her.

She soothes me with her smiles. I reach over and hug her. She still smells of chamomile tea and peppermint. Ever since birth, this one smell identifies my bond with my grandmother.

I’d smelled that when I was gurgling. I’d smelled that when I was peeing in my diapers. I’d smelled that my first day of school. I’d smelled it the day I ran away from home with Maria and Grandma had coaxed us with cookies and milk and horror stories. I’d smelled it yesterday when she’d yanked me into her arms.

From a little girl to a little woman, that smell has been a mainstay of my life.

I gather her into my arms. She sighs happily and whispers. “Follow your heart, love. It’ll not lead you astray.”

I kiss her goodbye.

Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Claudia Jeanette Parker. Rest in peace.

I walk out and my parents look at me, shattered. I smile bravely at them. My mother understands and she smiles a little, proud. My father is too broken to react. He stares helplessly as doctors cover his mother.

Kyle is holding a sobbing Maria and Alex starts for me. I shake my head. Not now. I need to be alone. I need to grieve alone.


I walk back home. It’s a long walk but the wind clears my head and as I stroll back, I go over the times I’ve had with my grandmother. Gusts of cool October wind blow over me and I can practically feel her next to me.

I reach our street. An army jeep’s there.

As soon as I round the corner, Max hops out.

I stare at him. I feel things coming back to me.

* Honeybear! *

* Ambulance! Please, someone call 911! She’s dying! *

* She wants you, honey *

* Follow your heart, love. It’ll not lead you astray. *


I look at Max helplessly, my eyes filling up. I don’t want to cry.

He looks at me silently.

I whisper hoarsely. “She’s…she’s dead.”

And then I break.

Max gathers me into his arms as I fall against him.

“She’s gone. She’s gone, Max.” I sob. He holds me quietly, stroking my hair, his arm strong around my waist. Soothing away the loneliness, the emptiness.

And in the warm shelter he offers I grieve for a woman who’d meant the world to me.




Well?

Xsara

[dream on]

You guys...I'm so sorry for the long delay. Worse part os that I can't promise any update faster. Me bad...I know. And since I'm not too familiar with the new (or was it old?) rules that fics go to some board when they haven't been updated for a while, lol, I can't exactly promise you this fic will be in this board by the next update. Anyhoo...sorry again.




Chapter 5

Max POV.




I look up at the stars, wondering which one is Claudia Parker.

I’d jump up there and hug her, if I could. Because, what you don’t know is that after her death, Liz broke up with Kyle.

I don’t know why and I certainly don’t know the wherefores but something had obviously happened because the gossip had hit us like a tidal wave when we entered school Monday.

You’d think people here would have an iota of sensitivity. Considering the fact that her grandmother had died, that girl didn’t need annoying rumors popping in her face.

I keep wondering what changed.

Who am I kidding?

When she’d crumpled in my arms, I felt this finality. Like I’d cemented a deal or something. I know its crude to put it in those terms but when she’s nestled herself against me and cried her heart out, I’d felt it.

A sense of belonging. A sense of completion.

A sense of futility, too, because now I’ll never get her out of my system.

I throw a book across the bed. This is NOT helping.

What was I thinking, going over to her like that? I should’ve known better. In fact, I did. But just the thought of her holding her pain back just so no one else would see it was enough for me to haul ass to the Crashdown.

After all, there’s no better authority than me on that particular subject.

I know how hollow it feels. I know how you want to hug someone so hard that your breath just stops for a second and you can forget about your misery.

Which is why I couldn’t stop myself. She’d felt so fragile, so tiny! I’d hugged Liz till I’m sure I broke one of her ribs but all she did was whisper “Thank you”.

And when she’d left, there’d been something different in her stride.

Which brings me to another problem. Now that she’s free, what do I do?

“NOTHING, dumbass!” Michael shrieks at me.

Um, yeah.

In my one moment of misguided need, I’d called Michael to come and talk to me. I’d have done better by calling Liz herself. And if Michael keeps it up, she’ll know about it soon enough.


“Michael!” I hiss at him. “For God’s sake, keep it down. Do you want my parents to come in my room and find you?”

Yeah. That registers.

“Jesus, Maxwell. What’s the matter with you?”

I’m in love. I’ve an excuse for my insanity.

Isabel barges in. I wince and glare at Michael. If he so much as says one word on that topic, I’ll flay him alive.

He gets it.

“Guys! Can you like STOP YELLING?”

Michael and I share a look. Look who’s talking.

She slams the door shut. Michael breathes a sigh of relief. He can’t tolerate tantrums until and unless he’s the one who’s throwing it.

I bury my face in a pillow.

Michael obviously doesn’t get it.

“Hey, Max! I realize you want, uh, her but you’re not thinking clearly. We can’t get too involved. We can’t get close!”

“You realize, Michael, that that’s the extent of your vocabulary?”

He glares at me. “Yeah, so?”

Why do I even try?

Michael pounces on the book I’d thrown away.

“See? SEE? Now you’re throwing things away that matter to us.” He shoved James Atherton’s Among US in my face.

“Hey. This matters to me too! And for your information, this Atherton guy’s a nut. He was probably stoned shitless when he wrote about his “great encounter with aliens”. And you’re talking. You never even read the damn thing. I had to.”

Michael realizes that’s the wrong tack. Immediately (and very reluctantly, I’m sure) he moves onto wheedling.

“C’mon, Max, I know its important but seriously, not as important as this, right?”

You suck at wheedling, Guerin.

I look at him coolly. “Wrong.”

Hah! He obviously never saw that coming. After all, nothing but him and Isabel can be important to me.

Michael’s jaw drops to the floor. What’d I tell ya?

True to form, he bursts out with another winner.

“How can you be so selfish?”

I laugh out loud. Michael Guerin, calling me selfish….excuse me.

He hates it even more apparently.

“Maxwell! WTF is the wrong with you? First you tried to fight me and display your powers. Next you go and have a dig at Valenti by not only ogling his chick but actually running against him so that you could beat your chest and say “I’m Da man!” and now, now you go on and be Liz Parker’s shoulder to lean on. I repeat, WTF IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?”

I bury my head again. No! NO! I’ve done my good deed of the week. This shouldn’t be happening to me!

Michael can’t believe I’m not talking to him. I snerk silently. It’s about time too.

“Maxwell. Look at me. LOOK!”

I don’t move.

He finally, finally gets it.

“Ok. Look Max, this is getting out of hand. How would you feel if you got close to Liz and she found out, huh? What’d happen if she knew and she ran? Worse, suppose she talked to the FBI or NSA or CIA or whatever? HUH?”

Thank you Michael. You’ve not only blighted my favorite fantasy but by now, it’s a nightmare.

He probably guesses how I’m feeling because unbelievably, his voice softens.

“Forget the fact that she’d rat. How about you? Do you think you could actually handle that rejection? It’ll be final.”

Mistake, Michael! You just shot your argument to hell. When I’d been holding her to me, that had felt pretty final too.

“And what’s worse than that is if she found out and then got into trouble because of that knowledge.”

“STOP!” I scream at him.

That is the main reason why I will never take a chance with Liz. I can’t, WON’T bear it if something happens to her because of me. I couldn’t live with myself.

I heave. My shoulders are shaking from the strain of holding all this inside.

Isabel comes running in. Michael cowers from her. He knows she’ll rip him to shred for worrying her. She catches sight of me and for a second, forgets about Michael.

“What? WHAT?”

I can’t get the words out. I simply can’t talk.

Isabel shakes me like a rag doll. My head flies about.

“What’s wrong with you, Max?”

“Nothing.”

Whew. Talking past this giant lump in my throat is hard work.

“Whaddya mean, nothing? You scream and you expect me to take “nothing” from you?”

Yes.

“Say something!”

No.

“MAX!!!” They both trill together.

Go away.

“That’s it. You make him listen. I’m so done.” That’s Michael. He hops to the window and I hope he falls off the ledge.

Bam!

Hah. He does.

Isabel runs to help him. That’s her. If she can’t be fussing around and in general, telling everyone who’s the boss, life, as I know will cease to exist.

Michael, true to form, shrugs off any semblance of help, leaving Isabel furious.

“Fine. Break your neck. See if I care!”

Something like a muffled curse comes floating back through the open window.

Isabel turns a shiny red.

I clear my throat. “Would you please leave me alone? I’m fine.”

She hurries back to the bed and launches herself on it. I bounce a foot high.

“No. You will tell me what you and Michael were arguing about.”

Get lost.

“Max!”

Nothing.

“Hey, you listen to me for a change!”

Sigh. You mean I don’t?

“Look at me here! What makes you think you both can have secret meetings and I can’t be there? Who do you two think I am? I’m part of this too! God, have you ever thought of what this is like for me?”

Brilliant. It took her six and a half seconds to turn this about her. How does she do that?

She of course, is well into her stride by now.

Her face flushed, she continues.

“Seriously, neither of you even care about what I go through! Why don’t you ever call me when you talk about, y’know…about us? You don’t think I might like to be in on it too? You don’t think my opinions count?”

I’ve had enough.

I look at her. Hard. She quietens down.

“First off all, that wasn’t a discussion about our history. I have a life besides that but of course, it’s not that important, is it? Second of all, you must be delusional if you think you were never part of those discussions. Third of all, try and think back to whose ideas that were always followed through.”

She shrinks back a little.

“Yeah. YOURS. And you have the nerve to come here and blather about how nobody pays any attention to you. Jesus Isabel, when don’t we pay attention to you? Even Michael, who has only himself and the ’47 crash on his brain, listens to you whine about your nail polish color. Why can’t you do the same, for once, without turning it into something about you?”

Okay. That was harsh. I’ll apologize right now.

She looks at me, woebegone. I feel my anger draining away. Jesus, now I have to feel guilty over something that was absolutely not my fault to begin with.

“Really? He does? Eeexcellent!” She looks thrilled about the latest revelations.

Oh my God. There’s just no way around her. No doubt, not one word about me here has reached her brain.

She reaches over and ruffles my hair.

“Yeah, ok. So I talk too much about myself. Excuse me? Female here! Blame it on the genes, Max.”

I refuse to be soothed by pats and sweet words. No one here seems to realize I may have a problem.

Isabel flounces off the bed. I bounce up again. Jeez.

As she reaches the door, she turns to look at me. I resist the urge to bodily throw her out of the room. She smiles.

It’s strange, but what with her normal behavior, it’s hard for me to realize the girl has some concepts of perception in her alien brain. This is one of those times.

“I’m going, I’m going. But seriously, I wish you’d just tell me what’s bothering you.”

I gape at her openly. See? What the bloody hell do you think I was trying to do here?

Isabel slams the door shut. Florence Nightingale act is over.



****~****


Another brand new spanking day. I’m dreading the thought of meeting Liz. I had no classes with her yesterday, but I certainly have some today.

What am I gonna do? What am I gonna say? Will she think it’s any different after that night? Do I want her to think anything different? God, the questions just never stop.

I stack my books in the locker, color-coding them. May be if I delay long enough, Ms. Hardy will’ve already started the class. Then, I don’t have to talk to her.

Yeah. Sure. Dream on.

I drag myself to Chemistry. Please, please, let there be a pop quiz.

I enter the class.

Liz is sitting at our station, reading. I soak up the sight of her.

She looks radiant. Seated against the light, her hair’s almost aglow. Not to mention her face when she looks up and spots me.

Damn. Damn.

I manage a weak hi. The smile goes down a notch.

I should concentrate on my text. I shouldn’t even look up. I shouldn’t! I won’t!

I see her looking at me, slightly puzzled. Darn! I said I wouldn’t! SAP.

“You ok?”

Shut up, bozo! Shut up.

She smiles at me. There’s so much gratitude there. I feel like a heel. Aliens like me shouldn’t exist.

“I’m fine.”

She fidgets with a lock of her hair for a second and then looks at me directly. I know this look. This is Liz-Parker-I-have-to-figure-this-out look. I look around for something to hide behind.

“Max. Y’know, what you did…after…after she’d died, I won’t forget it.”

Crap.

She smiles genuinely and goes back to the book.

Ms. Hardy enters.

“Class. We’ve a problem. Your schedule is about to be changed. This should’ve been in effect yesterday but they didn’t get around to it. You’ll have history now.”

Ugh. WHY? Why couldn’t it have been a class that Liz isn’t in? Damn school.

Beside me, Liz makes a small o. I look at her.

“Something wrong?”

“Hmm? No. No nothing’s wrong.” She chuckles adorably. “We all have that class together.”

OMG. NO!

Shit. Michael and Isabel will never let this go now.

I feel sick.

Liz looks at me, concerned. “Are you alright?”

No. “Um, yeah. Fine.”

We walk to class together. Really. There was no other alternative there anyways. It happened so naturally that by the time we halfway there, I realized this was the second time I walked Liz to a class.

Of course, now that I have walked her to class, she probably expects me to sit with her too.

Goddamn women.

“Excuse me?”

Liz stares at me in shock. Then she giggles. “Isabel getting to you?”

Reflexes take over and I just barely keep from nodding my head. After all, I can’t go around bad-mouthing my family even if Liz didn’t mean it that way at all.

I smile slightly.

“Not just her.” You get to me pretty bad too.

She smiles a little and heads for a seat. I follow her faithfully, forgetting everything about my earlier promises.

Michael thumps down beside her before I can even react. Liz visibly flinches.

I glare at the jackass. What does he think he’s doing?

Isabel shoves me into another seat beside her.

Maria de Luca rushes into class.

“I just got the memo, can you believe it?” Her voice is shrill.

Michael, just beside Liz, cringes.

I smile happily. Good.

She spots Michael. He’s looking anywhere but at her. Liz looks pale.

Michael peers out from under one eye. Beside me, Isabel lets loose a snort and then shuts up.

Maria puts her hand on her hips and glares at Michael.

This, of course, gets his blood up and he glares back.

“You sitting here?” Her tone says he’d better not.

Michael, that brainless asshole doesn’t realize when he should back down.

His tone heavy with sarcasm, he replies. “Don’t have eyes, blondie?”

“YOU!” Yep. He’s gonna get it now.

He growls right back.

“Yeah, me. What about it?”

Liz stands up hurriedly. Motioning to Alex, she takes a firm hold of Maria’s arm. The hellcat squirms to get away.

“Uh. Why don’t we sit there, Maria? Alex’ll sit here.”

Without waiting for answer, she drags her away to the farthest corner. I scowl. Thanks a lot, Michael.

Alex Whitman eyes Michael’s scowling face nervously and inches his chair away.

“Ok. That’s one crisis solved.”

I glance at Isabel. She’s looking at Whitman’s head.

Uh-oh. Run while you still can.

He turns back and sees the pair of us watching him with great interest. I hold back my laughter. I can see he’s fairly tickled pink that the Ice princess is looking at him.

Alex blushes as Maria hoots and turns away. Liz smiles and the tension in the air relieves considerably.

I heave a sigh of relief.

Kyle Valenti walks in.

Great.

Liz looks up and Maria and her have matching expressions of shock on their faces. That’s right. This jerk also has this class.

This is crazy. It’s like this was deliberately planned so that no form of history would seep into our brains today. Who’s next?

Mr. Sommers, the history teacher slams the door shut. I have a bad feeling thing are just going to get worse.

“Everybody has their secrets. There isn't a person alive today who's what they appear to be. Exposing these secrets is the job of the...historian. Even the most normal of us has extraordinary qualities just waiting to be uncovered.”

I was right.

Michael excuses himself from class, never to come back again and for one second I feel like doing the same. This is plain freaky.

“For tonight's assignment, I've paired you together. It is your job as...historians, to find out as much as you can about your partner by asking these specific questions, and then writing up an oral history report for tomorrow.”

Isabel scowls but I can tell she’s scared. I smile reassuringly at her. She glares at me.

I stifle my amusement. Isabel has a horror of being un-masked in public. No, I don’t mean the alien business, I mean more like the warm * bleh *interior covered by the Ice princess credo.

Mr. Sommers passes on the assignments.

Maria reads one and immediately makes her objections known.

“These are kind of personal, don’t you think?” Her tone made it clear she thought he didn't.

He smiles in glee. “Exactly. Personal is the goal of the professional biographer. And who knows? You just might make a new friend.”

Roy Nell, a first class geek turns to Maria with a huge grin. Kyle, next to him, snickers at the look of horror on her face.

“Ok, so the partners are as follows: Daskal with Hausman, Kalinowski with Nell. Parker with Evans.”

Liz turns halfway and I smile at her. Yeah, baby!

“That's I. Evans. M. Evans is with...Valenti.”

WHAT??

Liz ditches the smile as Isabel glares at her.

Kyle turns to look at me, something strange glinting in his eyes.

Great. That’s just fucking great.

“Papas with Cooney, De Luca with...Guerin.”

Can this get any worse?

Maria apparently thinks the same way because she leaps out of her chair.

“Wait, did you just say Guerin?”

“Yes, Michael Guerin.”

She shakes her head. “No, no, I'm sorry. That's unacceptable.”

Mr. Sommers looks up. “I beg your pardon.”

She stares in disbelief. “I mean, the guy’s not even here!”

“He was. And even if he isn’t, it’ll be like true fieldwork, tracking down your subject.”

I can’t believe what a mess this class is.

Liz with Isabel – major blowup.

Maria with Michael – homicide.

Me with Kyle – unbelievable.

Who the fuck thought this up???



Enjoy, folks!

Xsara