
“This is so damn good.” I moan out in satisfaction, as I eat a bowl of golden grahams. This has got to be the best cereal ever made.
It’s a quarter to midnight and I’m at the kitchen counter eating my second bowl of cereal and watching my favorite cartoon, ‘the grim adventures of billy and mandy’ on cartoon network. Who ever said cartoons are for children? The truth is, I can’t sleep. After an eight hour shift at the store, I should be dead to the world. But there’s too much clouding up all residency in my mind for that to happen.
I still haven’t worked up enough nerve to confront Max about his sister yet. In fact, I haven’t seen him all day. It’s his day off and he called to tell me that he’s taking his sister out before she leaves tomorrow night and that he’d call me when he got home. Why on earth would that take up his entire day, I haven‘t got the foggiest idea, but I’m all to happy to know that she’s leaving tomorrow. After that disastrous dinner two nights ago, I’ve made it my duty to not be around her. The more she’s in my presence, the more annoyed I become at the entire situation and I’d just rather not be there to deal with it. It’s a cop out in some sense, but at the same time it’s a relief. She’s like a dose of crack for a newbie. It won’t adjust well at all.
And in addition to that, I still haven’t talked to my father yet about this moving thing. Since that huge blowout between my dad and I almost a month ago, we haven’t had a real discussion about anything. Just your common dialogue, ‘hi, good morning or goodnight, pass the milk,---nothing too in depth. I wasn’t really eager at the time to resume our prior relationship, but I guess something’s gotta change. School’s right around the corner, three weeks to be exact. He has to know that I don’t plan on going anywhere. Furthermore, it’s time to end this conflict between us. It doesn’t make any sense now that I think about. What are we really gaining by not speaking to one another? It’s ridiculous.
After my third bowl of cereal, I make a conscious effort to not finish the entire box in one night. It would help if the damn thing wasn’t so good to begin with. Putting the box back in the cupboard, I make my way to the sink to wash my dishes. After drying my hands on the cloth, I hear the slow creaking of the slide door connecting to the backyard being opened.
Instantly alarmed, I switch off the kitchen light and stoop down behind the counter slightly so I could be able to see who it is. Adjusting my eyes in the dark to the intruding figure, I recognize that it’s my dad and stand up from my crouched position. Flipping back on the light, he freezes and brings his hand to his eyes to ward off the sudden brightness.
Squinting his eyes, he removes his hand and looks over at me. Sighing with relief, he closes in the door and locks it before hanging up his coat in the closet.
“It’s late.” I comment, watching him loosen his tie and sit heavily on the couch. Removing his suit jacket, he throws it over the back of the sofa and runs his fingers through his hair.
“Yeah, I noticed that.” He says, yawning loudly. “What are you still doing up?”
“I felt like eating some cereal.” I reply with a shrug. “And watching some cartoons.”
“Apparently.” He says, gesturing to the television. Watching it briefly, he picks up the remote and shuts it off. Standing up from the couch, he’s making his way towards the stairs when I call out to him.
It’s now or never Liz. Just go for it.
“Could I…can I talk to you about something?” I ask hesitantly, biting my bottom lip nervously. The last thing I want is for this to turn into another heated argument. I’m hoping against hope that it doesn’t.
He looks surprised before he recovers and nods his agreement. Walking back to the couch, I follow behind him and take a deep breathe before plunging ahead.
“I know that…we haven’t spoken to one another in quite a while.” I say, wringing my fingers together. “I owe you an apology actually, for the things---,”
“I’ve forgotten about Liz.” He interrupts me, with a slight shake of his head. “You should too.”
Nodding my head, I drop the subject and broach the topic I really want to discuss.
“I heard about your promotion.” I begin, watching his face anxiously.
“You have?” He says with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah.” I reply. “I know that it’s in Boston and how great of an opportunity this is for you.”
“It is.” He agrees, watching me carefully to see where I’m going with this.
“I also know…the reason that you and mom have been fighting.” I finish, looking up at him just in time to see the regret wash over his face.
“Liz---,”
“I can’t go with you and mom.” I interrupt him gently, getting to the core of the problem. “My life is here. Everything that I know is in this place. You can’t expect me to leave that all behind.”
“Liz, how are we supposed to just move to another state and leave you here?” He exclaims, looking at me in disbelief. “Don’t you see the idiocy in that?”
“Boston isn’t that far away.” I say in rebuttal. “You aren’t moving to another country. And besides, my school is here. I’m starting NYU in three weeks. There is no other decision to be made.”
“There’s good colleges in Boston too Liz.” He reasons, looking hopeful. “There’s Boston University and Harvard…you always wanted to go there when you were little.”
“That’s just it.” I cry out, reluctant to burst his bubble but wanting to do so as well. “I’m not little anymore. You have to let me go.”
Immediately deflating, he sits back on the sofa and sighs heavily. “You’re my only daughter Liz. How do I you let go?”
Shifting closer to him, I pick up his hand and move in so his arm is around me. Laying my head on his chest like I’ve done so many times before when I was child, I try to ease his concern.
“I’m nineteen dad.” I say quietly, listening to his heart beat. “I know you may think that means nothing, but it does. I’m growing up, and there’s certain things that you can’t dictate for me anymore. I have to make my own decisions and learn from my own mistakes. You can’t shield me from the world forever.”
“How will I know if you need anything?” He asks miserably. “How will I know you’ll be safe?”
“Just trust me.” I answer him, bending my head back so I could see his face. “You don’t have to worry Dad. I’ll be fine. I won’t be alone.”
“You wouldn’t happen to be talking about Max would you?” He asks with a raised eyebrow, looking down at me.
“ I am.” I admit, watching his reaction. He breathes deeply and faces forward. “Dad, Max is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s the most amazing person…I just, I love him.”
“I figured that much.” He mutters, not the least bit surprised by my confession. “Does he feel the same way?”
“Yes.” I whisper. “He does.”
Silence ensues after my answer. He doesn’t speak for a long while and I start to wonder if he’s angry or not.
“Dad…,” I say.
“Just promise me that you’ll take care of yourself.” He exclaims. “That no matter what, you’ll always put your best face forward and take care of yourself.”
Squeezing him gently, I sit up and kiss his cheek before pulling back. “ I promise. And I’ll call you guys all the time.”
“You better.” He says fatherly, before petting my head lightly. “You’ve grown up all right. Too fast for my liking, but you have. Never forget how much I love you Lizzie.”
Hugging him tightly, I whisper, “I love you too Dad.
It’s minutes later when I finally return to my room waiting for Max ‘s call. That talk with my dad went extremely well, I hope the same procedure works with Max and I.
Punctual on his timing, my phone starts vibrating and I answer it eagerly. I’ve been dying to hear his voice all day.
“Hey.” I say in greeting, my happiness more than evident in my tone.
“Hey baby.” He replies, in that husky voice I adore so much. “I was afraid you’d be asleep by now.”
“Nope, I’m wide awake.” I say quietly, with a smile on my face. “I missed you today.”
“I missed you too.” He replies with a yawn. “You were all I could think about the entire time.”
“Does that mean you didn’t have fun with Isabel?” I ask, a little giddy with the thought. I can’t help it.
“It depends on what you call fun.” He quips with another yawn. “She dragged me to like every shoe store available in Soho. I love my sister, but she’s absolutely tiring.”
“My poor baby.” I murmur, with a small smile gracing my lips. “No wonder you sound so exhausted. She wore you out.”
“Completely.” He says in agreement. “If it weren’t for you, I would’ve been passed out already. But I had to hear your voice.”
“You are too sweet.” I say adoringly. “And I thought about you all day as well.”
“What kind of thoughts?” He asks seductively.
“Nothing I’d want to tell you over the phone.” I reply, just as sexily. “They require body to body contact.”
He groans loudly and I stifle my laughter. It’s his punishment for leaving me all day.
“I like the sound of that.” He replies huskily.
“I thought you would. Too bad we couldn’t try them out.” I say pointedly.
“I don’t know about that now…,” He quips, suddenly sounding very attentive. “I happen to have a special day planned for me and my lady.”
“You do?” I ask curiously.
“Yup.” He whispers. “ I was thinking about having a dinner here at my apartment with you, me and Isabel. And then afterwards you and I could…” He trails off suggestively.
I was listening until he mentioned the devil’s name. I can’t stand another dinner with her. There’s no possible way I can endure this without snapping her head off and his for being so freaking oblivious.
“Liz…,“ He calls out when I don’t respond. “Did you hear me?”
“Can I talk to you about something?” I ask, ignoring his question entirely.
“Of course.” He says, sounding concerned. “What’s going on?”
“It’s about your sister.”
“Isabel?” He questions in confusion. “What about her?”
“I don’t think she likes me.” I say softly, waiting to hear his reaction.
“You think?” He asks in affront.
“No, I…I know she doesn’t.” I amend, closing my eyes briefly before forging ahead. “She has some kind of problem with me and I don’t know why.”
“Liz…,” He says with a slight chuckle. “Do you realize how crazy that sounds? Why would she have a problem with you? She doesn’t even know you.”
“Exactly Max.” I retort, getting annoyed with his casualness. “She doesn’t know a thing about me but she has all these opinions and snap judgements on my life and my relationship with you.”
“If your upset about her asking if we’re having sex at dinner the other night, I already spoke to her about that.” He says in explanation. “Isabel can be a bit blunt at times, but she knows not when to go too far.”
“She already has Max.” I exclaim in irritation. “The very fact that she even ventured to ask us that should tell you enough.”
“Baby, I’m not understanding you.” He replies. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t see it.”
“I know you don’t.” I cry out angrily. “And that’s what’s even more unbelievable. That she could insult me to no end and you’d be sitting right there not bothering to open your mouth and defend me.”
“Liz, you know I would never intentionally allow anyone to disrespect you when I’m around.” He says in defense. “But I know my sister, she wouldn’t do that. Especially to you.”
“Oh my god…,” I exclaim in disbelief. “Were you on mute for the past week or something? God Max, she’s intrusive and judgemental. How can you not see that?”
“Cause I just don’t Liz.” He retorts, raising his voice. “You can’t force someone to see something in your perspective when they don’t.”
“Don’t, or won’t Max?” I ask angrily. “I am telling you that she’s a bitch to me all the time. What, do you think I’m lying?”
“I didn’t say that.” He says firmly. “And it sounds like you’re the one doing the insulting.”
“Oh, you are unbelievable.” I yell. “But I tell you, it’s so lovely to see how you turn the tables on me. Just fills my heart with such great emotion at her little brother defending her…defending her for something she’s guilty of.”
“What the hell do you want me to say Liz?”
“I don’t know what I was expecting.” I hiss, my ire rising. “Maybe you could’ve acted like my boyfriend and actually take care of the situation. But I guess that’s too much of a hassle for you.”
“Are you jealous of my relationship with Isabel?” He asks. “Is that what this is about? It is isn’t it?”
“Jealous?” I exclaim, hurt beyond belief by his accusation, that the tone of my voice changes. “You think I’m jealous of your sister?”
“I don’t know what to think.” He retorts, breathing heavily over the phone. “All I know is that your pissed off at me and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“So you tell me I’m jealous of your sister and expect that to quelch my anger?” I ask in disbelief.
“Baby, please. I didn’t mean it that way.” He says reassuringly.
“So how did you mean it Max?” I ask, the anger replaced with hurt. “Are you saying I’m stupid now too?”
“No! Liz, please…just, tell me what I have to do?” He asks quietly.
“Nothing Max.” I whisper, wiping the tears from my eyes. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“Liz…,” He says in desperation. “I don’t want this to come between us.”
“It already has Max.” I reply, my anger resurfacing again.
“I love you Liz.” He exclaims fiercely. “You know that.”
“I thought I did too.” I retort.
“Liz…, don’t do this---”
The click of the flash button cuts off his protest. Let him tell it to the dial tone. Shutting off my phone completely, I throw it on the floor and pull back the covers angrily before getting under them.
If I thought I couldn’t sleep earlier, compared to now, it’s a fucking understatement.