Holding On
(AU/ML/TEEN)
Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended.
Summary - Max and Liz are going threw a difficult time in their lives along with their infant son. Can anyone possiblely help them?
Max Evans stopped in front of the third room on the right of the Evans two story house. It looked like every other door in the Evans’ household, except this door had blue, green, and yellow colored letters on the top of it. The letter’s read Nathaniel Maxwell. He slowly opened the door, careful not to make any noises, and peaked around the corner. His eyes glared over and stopped at the sleeping baby in the corner of the room. That was his son. His wife and his pride and joy all snuggled up in his crib. Max slowly walked into the room, just as careful not to make any noise and slowly got down on his knees in front of the crib.
Down on my knees again tonight
I’m hoping this prayer will come out right
See there is a boy that needs your help
I’ve done all that I can do myself
Tears began to weld up in Max’s eyes as he looked at the baby boy sleeping in front of him. Just looking at his sleeping form, no one would be able to tell how much this little baby was having to fight just to stay alive. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to heal his son, because he tried for days and days on end, but no matter how many times it never seemed to work. So he just went to the next thing he knew, and that was to pray to God that some miracle would take place.
His mother is tried
I’m sure you can understand
This whole situation and what was going on with Nathaniel wasn’t easy for either of them, but especially not Liz. She couldn’t seem to stop blaming herself, thinking that his heart condition was somehow her fault, even though all the doctor’s had told them that this couldn’t have been prevented, it was an extremely rare condition that he was just born with. But what kept on nagging Max, if he had been born with it then how in the world did the doctors not figure it out until about a month ago? And how could they not have noticed it earlier, because when they found it it had been so severe that their son had been placed on a heart transplant list. The one thing that Max was so great full for was that Nathaniel was only ¼ hybrid and he had normal looking blood cells like his mother did.
Each night as he sleeps
She goes in to hold his hand
And she tries not to cry
As the tears fill her eyes
Every night while Max is getting ready for bed and waiting for his wife to join him, he can hear her in the other room crying, asking god not to take her baby away from her, and to please let a heart become available so he can survive. Max knows it’s killing her not to be able to help their son, as it’s killing him as well.
Can you hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Tears begin to fall down Max’s face. These are tears of sadness, worry, and grief, but also tears of anger and confusion, since he could only hope that God was listening to what he was saying and not knowing what would happen tomorrow. Even though he wouldn’t let it show, Max knew that tonight or even tomorrow might be the last moments he had with his son, and he couldn’t bear the possibility of that.
Can you see him?
Can you make him feel all right?
Nathaniel looked like any other ten month old, just a little small and skinny; no one could really tell what was actually happening in his son’s body. The struggles of everyday life, but no matter how sick or in how much pain he was Nathaniel always had a smile on his face and was such a happy little boy. There was no mistake, in Max’s mind who he’d inherited that smile from, he had his mommy’s beautiful smile that could light up the whole room in just was little grin.
If you can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See he’s not just anyone
He’s my son
One thing that Max just couldn’t get out of his head was how wrong this actually was. Life wasn’t suppose to be this way. Children were suppose to out live their parents not the other way around.
“God please I am begging you! Please don’t take my son away from me and my wife! Let me take his place I have lived more, experienced more things! I know that every child is specially, but please don’t take my son away. Please!” Max whispered in a demanding tone.
Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep
I dream of the boy he’d like to be
I try to strong and see him though
But God who he needs right now is you
Max couldn’t get out of his mind how many times Liz had gotten upset with him, because he hadn’t shown emotions in a time of need. She would always say that he was trying to be to strong, he was trying to be Michael and she didn’t need Michael right now, if she did she would’ve called him. Who she needed right now was him, her husband.
Let him grow old
Live life without his fear
All Max and Liz wanted was for Nathaniel to have his transplant, so they could spend the rest of their lives with their son by there side, knowing for certain now that he was out of harms way and that they would be able to spend all the time in the world with him. Be able to watch him take his first step by himself, celebrate his first birthday, he’s first day of school, watch him become a teenager, then go off the college and get married, and eventually have children of his own.
What would I be
Living without him here
That’s something that neither Liz nor Max wanted to come to realize. How their lives would be without their son by their side, to love them and to do his cute little baby things that he does everyday.
He’s so tired and he’s scared
Let him know that you’re there
Even though Nathaniel couldn’t say it himself, both Max and Liz could see how tired their little baby boy was becoming. And how this condition of his was having an effect on his everyday activities. He was sleeping so much almost about 9 hours and would lose his energy so easy. Max couldn’t get just what happened earlier out of his head. They’d taken Nathaniel to the park to play since he loved the outdoors so much and since it was fall there where leaves everywhere that he could play with, but all Nate or Natey, as Liz would sometimes call him, wanted to do was to either just lie on the grass or be held by either Liz or Max. Today was really the first day that they both realized how fast their son was going down hill and it was killing them to see him like this.
Can you hear me?
Am I getting through tonight?
Can you see him?
Can you make him feel alright?
If you can hear me
Let me take his place somehow
See he’s not just anyone
He’s my son
“God I’ve never asked you for anything ever in my life, so please just this one time, please don’t take my son away. I really don’t think that I or his mother could live without him please. Take me if you want, let me take him place, just please don’t take my baby away.” Max choked as tears rushed down his cheeks.
Can you hear me?
Can you see him?
Please don’t leave him
He’s my son
“But if for some reason you decide to take him, please don’t let him be along and let him know how much we love him and how much he’s going to be missing if it’s his time to go. Not just by me and his mother, but by the rest of the family that cares so much about him as well. I know that if you do decide to take him with you, he won’t fell anymore pain and I think seeing him go threw as much pain as he has for the past month has torn both myself and his mother apart so much, we still don’t want to lose him, but now I think I’m beginning to realize that that’s not our decision it’s yours and I’m so sorry that it’s taken me so long to realize that.” Max whispered.
He dried his tears with his hand, slowly stood up, then leaned over the crib and gently kissed his son on the cheek and gently brushed his dark brown hair with his fingers.
As Max slowly began to lift his hand out of the crib, he saw two beautiful light brown eyes looking straight at him.
“Hey little man, go back to sleep for daddy.”
“Uvv Dada.”(Love) Nathaniel said to Max and then smiled this adorable smile at his dad, who now had a couple tears of joy running down his face, you see that had been the first time Nathaniel had ever said that.
“I love you baby boy so much.” Max whispered kissing him again as he watched his young son close his eyes again and drift off once again.
“Thank you.” Max said to the sky as he slowly began to make his way towards the door.
Before he shut the door he looked back one last time at the sleeping baby all nestled up in his crib, sleeping like there was not a worry in the world.
The End
Song is called He’s My Son and it’s by Mark Schultz.
P.S. - If you like it PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I love Reviews! Also I am planning on making a sequal later on.
The sequel everyone - Just A Dream
