So, this is a pretty long chapter, and want to know why it’s special? Because it has Liz/Alec goodness!! Yes, I swear. I know I love making you guys squirm and am pretty fond of heartbreaking angst and heart-tearing separations. But I promise you that this has a long, and I feel, fulfilling X-Tremer scene. I hope you’re liking where I’m going with this.
CHAPTER #10
Crashdown, 11:15 p.m.
June 12th
“Here ya go,” Alex announced, setting in front of Isabel a large plate of her favorite chili cheese fries. Mrs. Evans had secretly nudged him to make Isabel eat, seeing as how she hadn’t eaten properly for the time he had been gone. She said this looking at him with a glazed kind of look, not particularly as if she saw a ghost, but with a stunned incredulity. It was basically how the whole town had received Alex Whitman back into their lives, with skepticism and relief. Despite Sheriff Valenti’s help, the explanation of how Alex had been presumed dead for a over half a year was a bit of a reach, even for the people of Roswell to believe. But they seemed too eager and happy - especially Alex’s parents - to question the lame explanation they had fed them, and Alex was too appeased to see his loved ones to have a profound conversation of where he had been, though his ’temporary amnesia’ kept him from contacting them.
While Michael, Max, and Kyle took the news with joy but calm, Maria still broke into sobs every time she saw Alex - he joked he would run out of dry shirts. And Isabel - Isabel was perpetually walking on a dreamy cloud. She was always smiling and rarely moody. Her parents and friends were of course, thrilled for this obvious change in demeanor. Not everything was color-rosed though, and Isabel knew this.
Tess’ arrival had aroused different emotions from the group. Max and Kyle appeared to be the less aggrieved. Liz was edgy whenever the subject of Tess came up, and Michael would have to constantly stop Maria from stabbing her in her sleep. Isabel couldn’t find how to feel. She had been so close to Tess before she had turned on them, the small blonde had understood her so eerily, was just as her. Isabel had always seen humanity inside of her. And having glimpses of Tess’s mental breakdown and vacant responses, her heart broke a little.
“And your fries could not go without this,” Alex added, handing her Tabasco with a knowing, soft regard.
It was very sweet of him, and she felt cherished and special, which was something that Alex had always made her feel. She had missed that, his gift of making the simplest sentiment or the shortest of gazes filled with utmost meaning. She sat next to him in the booth, accepting the food graciously - he was very well aware of her love for all things fast food.
“How was your day?” he asked with a soft grin.
She proceeded to tell him many of the events that had gone on since the moment her eyes had slid open. Of course, since she thrived on making everything more extraordinary then it truly was so he could catch her good mood, she embellished certain details. Max’s small clumsy trip on the stairs became a full out, butt-on-the-floor disaster, and her mother’s attempt at making noodles weren’t distasteful, but also poisoined. He grinned in some parts of the story, and laughed in others, and she reveled in it, tried memorizing the sound because he didn’t laugh much. He was quiet, and he was withdrawn, and while she loved him in spite of it, because of his silent reverie, she wished he could sometimes joke about things as well.
Instead, when she asked him in return how his day was, his answers were short and anticlimatic, he made no attempt to engage in conversation, would only stare at her and prod her to eat. She had to always do the talking nowadays and he’d nod his head to show he was listening, though sometimes she had to wonder.
Isabel crumpled immediately as he spaced out on her again, his eyes faraway and distant.
She hadn’t ever thought that getting back together with Alex would ever be easy - not in the slightest. She had picked up on his new habits, he was her best friend and because of it, she wasn’t blind to the differences that now marked him. He was, in certain ways, just as scarred as she was now. He understood pain - had seen her planet before Isabel herself got to know it. He’d been broken, and he’d felt calloused as she had. She felt a kindred soul in him but wanted so desperately to ease the wounds that he would sometimes let her see.
Other times his brooding overwhelmed her. So rarely was he ever in a good mood, when before he was the cheerful light that brightened a room. Not that he was ever in a bad mood, not really. Alex was too nice and loved them too much to ever be irritated. Alex went on stubborn tingents, and, she had come to realize, had grown shortest, hot temper known to man kind, but still had days when nothing could be spoiled for him. And she wished, sometimes, that Alex was still goofy and dorky, not sarcastically witty and even satirical. She was always estimulated by intelligent or humorous conversation. But she just couldn’t read his mind, and having him not speak of what happened to him ever, after two weeks, was making her impatient and frustrated.
“I’m full,” Isabel whined, pushing the plate out of her view.
Alex, however, raised his shaking finger. “Nuh-uh, you promised you would finish every bit of it.”
“Alex...” she groaned, though she was not displeased at his concern.
“Finish it and I’ll take you shopping tomorrow.”
She wordlessly brought the plate back in front of her and began to finish, as he laid back on the booth triumphantly.
She glared at him as she caught his victorious smirk. “Blackmailing me with clothes? That’s low, Whitman.”
“Ah, but effective. I promised the mother-in-law Izzy, now gorge.”
Isabel shook her head. “I really missed you, Alex.”
He finally graced her with a mega-watt grin, staring at her with the adoration that he used to. It was as if, for a moment, Alex Whitman was sixteen-years old again, innocent and special, loving nothing but her.
She could not stop blushing, she turned around to smile at him, and instead met her lips tangling with his.
“I can’t stop smiling,” she confessed.
“Me either,” he agreed with a grin.
She sighed, shifting slightly. “I hate to be a drag, but didn’t Liz have to close over an hour ago. Where the hell is she?”
Alex shifted in his spot. “I think she’s at Kyle’s.”
No one blamed Kyle when he decided that though he wanted to help Tess, he could not live under the same roof. He bought a loft that he agreed to share with Michael, who began to get paid nicely enough to afford it, and had moved in as fast as he could.
“What is going on between the two of them anyway?”
“Honestly?” Alex asked. “Not sure. But I caught them in a... compromising position a few days ago.”
Isabel’s mouth formed into an ’O’ with surprise. “That’s not possible. Liz loves - ”
“Please. She barely gives Max a glance nowadays.”
“No, I’m not talking about Max. I’m talking about...” Isabel broke off, her eyes snapping to his in alarm. “Oh, wow. We haven’t told you about Alec, have we?”
After Alex shook his head slowly, Isabel proceeded to fill him in on the story, beginning from Alec, Maxie, and Ava’s arrival to Roswell. He laughed in the Liz-and-Alec-getting-drunk parts, and widened his eyes at the Liz-and-Alec-get-caught-doing-it and Alec-is-a-transgenic-and-what-the-hell-does-that-mean parts, and then stared at the table in sad contemplation in the Alec-lets-Liz-go finale.
“So she really loved him?”
“She still does,” Isabel insisted. “I had never seen Liz look at a guy like that. Alex, she was just so head over heels. I can’t imagine her feelings changing so quickly, or changing at all. The two of them together... it was beautiful.”
“Fan number one, eh?” Alex asked with a sad smirk.
“He did a lot for her - for all of us,” Isabel answered, resting her elbows on the booth as she crossed her arms. “Everyone just assumed that Alec would work out his and Maxie’s issues and he’d come back and they’d get the ending they really deserve.”
“Please tell me he wasn’t anything like your brother - no offense.”
“He was the Anti-Max,” Isabel affirmed, amused at the distasteful face that he had made. “He was confident and edgy and self-assured and vain. He was witty and shallow and completely unpredictable. He was distant and guarded on the outside, and completely soft and fiercely loyal on the inside. He made her laugh and he made her cry but Alec was without a doubt, the guy for Liz and vice-versa. The man adored her. She was the reason that Alec did anything he did, even if she didn’t like it. All he is probably thinking about is her safety, keeping her away from harm and danger that could hurt or kill her.”
“He sounds like a hero. Should I be jealous?”
“He did look like an Adonis,” Isabel answered teasingly, stifling a giggle at his glowered expression.
Alex turned his annoyed jealousy into thoughtful pondering. “Even when Liz was with Max, there were always unresolved feelings between her and Kyle. Maybe a little more on his part, she was the one to end it after all. I think there are feelings there. Deep ones.”
“Yeah,” Isabel agreed. “And maybe they also just need each other. Tess is back, and that must be huge for Kyle, who always cared for her more then any of us combined. And Alec’s gone and he was really abrupt and certain in his decision. They’re both scared and they’re best friends, and love each other... but Liz and Alec are so in love... I don’t want her or Kyle to get hurt by this. Or Alec... God if he finds out. Kyle is his friend, too.”
Alex whistled. “It’s a sticky situation,” he began carefully. “But Kyle and Liz are adults, and they’re close friends enough to solve whatever issues they’ve gotten themselves into.”
Isabel nodded, still uncertain. There was no doubt Kyle and Liz adored each other, and there was definitely physical attraction - she had seen it in looks and actions from both of them. They were the friends, definitely the best of, in any way there can possibly be. Maybe even soulmates, if she ever believed in them. But Liz was in love with Alec, hard as she may try to let that go. And Kyle was still gung ho about Tess and their issues, so what exactly were they doing, besides acting on their sexual desire for each other?
“Hey, at what time do you have to be home?” Alex asked, bursting in on her thoughts.
“Thirty minutes ago,” she answered with a laugh. “What do I tell the parents?”
“Tell them I’m too selfish to share you today,” he answered languidly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Liz’s Room, 12:00 p.m.
June 12th
Kyle playfully bit the soft corner of her shoulder as she was talking. She talked of mundane subjects and inane babbling, the last thing she found out from C-Span or the latest painting she and Michael were working on. They filled him for some reason, because it was the most ordinary of things, and for a moment, just a small moment, he felt like they were normal. They could be encased in simplicity, the existence of only what they were doing, where he was free to adore her and she was free to let him. Moment, which in reality was a night but always felt far shorter, where every heartache and every problem withered away from their skin.
His index finger sought to trace the shape of her cheek and smiled involuntarily. She had the sweetest face. The seriousness that sometimes joined it made it seem less so, but now where she looked carefree and spontaneous the glow was made apparent. Shew as wise beyond her years, had lived so much in so little, and he knew this and still... there was painful innocence in every glimmer or her eyes. How she had actually managed to keep kindness and innocence was impossible for him to know. They had lived so much, loved so much, hurt so much that it had definitely altered. They had ben exposed to the unmerciful trutths of the world that had hardened his every emotion.
But Liz... she still laughed, still cried and painted and sang off-key and read and had dreams for her future. How was that possible?
Liz smiled at him, tracing circles in his chest. “What?”
“You have a sweet face.”
Liz laughed with delight, making something close to content ram into his heart. “I have a sweet face, you say?”
“Yup,” he nodded seriously. “Totally hides what is really inside.”
She gasped, socking him in the shoulder. “Punk!”
He chuckled at her indignant outburst.
She sighed, as if realizing he wasn’t going to take it back, and turned back to him, whatever remnant of outrage evaporating. Thoughtfulness took its place. “You have a sweet face, too.”
Kyle snorted. “I do not.”
Realizing it bothered him, she flashed a pearly-white smile. “Uh, yes you do, cowboy.”
Kyle glared playfully at her. “I have never, at any point of my life - be it my prior infancy and pubescence - ever possessed a sweet face. Don’t kill me, Liz.”
“Well, you don’t have a sweet face anymore. Not when you’re awake,” she ammended. “When you’re sleeping though - you’re different,” she finished lamely, turning to face the window as if she was done with the conversation.
He was now, however. Curiosity had begun to aggravate his mind, and he knew it would gnaw at him until he ended up asking her anyway. “Different how?”
Startling her out of whatever world she had decided to enter, she shrugged. Her hand tenderly moved to his mussed hair, before finally resting on his forehead. “You’re not frowning when you’re asleep - you frown so much now, always thinking. You seem sweet and young because I can’t see your eyes. They’re what give you away, the look that tells me you’ve lived far more then your years show. You look still, but never lifeless. Everything - every worry or anger or hurt - just fades away. So yeah, it looks kinda sweet, Kyle James Valenti. Deal with it.”
He scowled at her, but she was still smiling at him. And, best as he tried, he felt his lips tug at the corners before he realized he was smiling to. “Whatever you say, Bonnie.”
Liz turned to him, melancholic surprise etching her features. “You haven’t called me that in forever.”
Kyle shrugged, brushing his lips with hers, holding them for a moment before pulling away. “Felt like it.”
She nodded, gazing at their entwined hands. “Kyle... what are we doing?”
He stiffened, breaking their eye contact. “I don’t know.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Michael and Kyle’s loft, 10:00 A.M.
Sunday, June 14th
“Michael, have I ever told you I love when you cook us breakfast?” Maria asked, taking a big bite out of her whipped-creamed blueberry waffles, and sighing in content at the delectable taste.
“Plenty,” he answered wryly, placing the juice carton at the center of the table, finally joining Maria, Alex, and Kyle.
“And today’s a special occasion,” Maria added, eyes already welling up with tears, “it’s a s - special b - br - breakfast for Alex!”
Alex was about to beg her not to start, but Maria was already overcome with racketing sobs, as Michael patted her back awkwardly, shrugging at the guys who were motioning for him to do something.
“Weren’t Max and Isabel joining us?” Michael asked, desperate to change the subject. Much as he loved Maria and they had gotten past her wanting Liz-and-any-of-her-former-boyfriends love story, was still always wigged out by the sight of a weeping woman.
Kyle cleared his throat. “Max isn’t coming. He - he decided he’s gonna... he’s gonna try and heal Tess.”
Maria banged her glass of juice in the table. “Why the hell would she? She deserves it!”
“Maria,” Alex warned her tightly, his lips pressed into a thin line. He and Kyle had been Tess’s most adamant defendors, and it always had Maria boiling with rage.
“What? It’s true.”
“This isn’t for you to decide,” Kyle reminded her softly.
“How the hell can you defend her?” Maria cried.
Kyle stood up in helpless frustration. “I don’t know. I don’t know!”
“She killed Alex, Kyle!” Maria admonished him.
“Hey, I’m alive and well, thank you,” Alex argued sarcastically.
“Not for lack of her trying!”
“You know what? You have no idea who Tess is.”
“And you do?” Maria challenged.
Michael hesitated. “Guys - ”
“Damn right I do!” Kyle bellowed. “She was raised by Nasedo, and that doesn’t excuse any of the things that she did but I understand it. All of us, sans for Michael were raised by either one of our parents. Good parents, Maria. Whether it was the kind of parenting we would have liked, it was never continuously vengeful, there were never seeds planted in our brain to become evil one day. You weren’t treated to daily abuse. You know how Nasedo was, Maria, ruthless and only out for himself! Imagine a little girl growing up with that monster, and only tehn tell me what I can and cannot feel for Tess.”
“Kyle - ” Maria stammered.
“Maybe it’s stupid of me to forget everything she’s done so easily. But I care, okay? I always have. I want her to be okay, I want her to stop looking so dead and empty inside. When everyone as too busy shunning her, when everyone was too damn selfish and actively hating her, I never could. Even when I chose to send her away, even when we cruelly decided to separate her from her son, I never hated her, Maria.”
The silence defeaned the room, and the three were openly staring at him with concern and genuine confusion.
“I’m sorry...”
Kyle sighed, exhausted. “I don’t care you’re sorry,” he answered honestly. “And... and I’m really not hungry right now.”
He quietly slipped his jacket and walked to the door, closing it gently.
Michael stared at Maria in annoyed reprimand.
“What? She’s evil,” Maria muttered, though she was guilty.
“Can’t bear to give a person the benefit of the doubt, can you?” Alex asked, throwing his napkin on the table and standing as well. “You don’t know what she went through, you have no idea the lengths she went to to save my ass, or what she endured with Khivar. A person can change, Maria, and so many of us are living testament to that. Don’t throw stones. You’re not God.”
Maria opened her mouth in surprise.
Alex turned to Michael apologetically. “Sorry to cut this short, dude, I know this was made in my honor and whatnot. But I’m not hungry much anymore, either.”
Michael, who had his hands on his face, replied in muffled voice, “Completely understandable. Forgive her rage outbursts and her psychotic imbalance, in general.”
Alex smiled at her fondly. “I love you, Maria. You’re one of my best friends and though I’ll never understand or agree with you on much, I hope you see Tess for who she is now. If I don’t hold against her what she did, so why do you?”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Valenti Household, 11:30 A.M.
Saturday, June 14th
As much as he wanted to be nonchalant about the whole business, Kyle was dying to go to Tess and see if Max’s healing had worked. He had prodded himself to find job applications, to go visit Liz, call up Isabel, anything to keep himself from going over.
Hard as he tried, fifteen minutes later he was standing on the porch of his house. Noises brought his attention to the street, and his face stretched into a smile. A young little boy was running with his brother. One was blowing bubbles and the other was squealing, trying to catch them with his hands. He didn’t know why that picture of innocence brought him so much grief and content at the same time, but it did.
Hearing the door open, he turned around and saw Tess leaning on the frame. “So, were you planning on coming in or were you just going to count to ten first?”
Relief washed through him as he heard her familiar teasing as he went to hug her. “It worked?”
“It worked,” she affirmed, a large smile appearing on her face. “Max is good at it. It’s kind of hard to understand everything I feel again. For so long I was on emotional shut down. And guess what. He even let me spend the whole morning with Zan.”
“That’s great,” he responded sincerely as she moved to let him pass.
“It is. He’s getting so big... I hope he remembers my face,” she said lightly, moving around the kitchen.
“Haven’t eaten?” he asked. Though he’d claimed being full at Michael’s breakfast, he really had been hungry.
Tess shook her head. “Max and I were drained after he healed me, and then with Zan, and having to explain everything to Mr. and Mrs. Evans, who know the truth by the way... it was definitely a crazy morning.”
“Tell me about it,” he muttered wryly.
Tess smiled at him sympathetically, placing in front of him chopsticks.
He shifted eagerly. “You ordered Chinese?”
Tess scoffed. “Did I order Chinese, he asks. Is there anything else that anyone should order?”
Kyle stared at her as she moved from one place to the other, setting plates and utensils around him, humming gently to herself in a light, airy, musical tone.
Tess would always remind him of a priceless porcelain doll his mother had always kept in the living room. She had a thing for china dolls and fashion. Jim Valenti was always oblivious to the elitist world his mother had yearned to belong to, full of superficiality. He was content with his job and his life, and Kyle admired him for it.
But his mother loved that porcelain doll, had praised it time and again, admonishing Jim for not buying her similar ones to add to her collection. Until, of course, she left without notice. She left, not even taking that stupid porcelain doll with her. The stupid, meaningless doll that he still had hidden in his closet, and never thought to look of because it still refreshed scathing wounds. And somehow, looking at Tess’s face, it reminded Kyle of the stupid doll. It had the same golden perfect hair and the pale, pale blue eyes - so beautiful and blue they were painful to look at. Delicate and ethereal.
“Tess?” he asked suddenly.
She was busy trying to twirl the chopsticks around the rice, sighing with frustration as she realized she couldn’t.
“Tell me something - anything - to show me I’m right about you. That you’re not who everyone thought you were. Please,” he begged her.
Her eyes saddened, and they turned to dark violets instead of their usual aqua. “You don’t trust me,” she said softly. “Not that I blame you. But that’s... that’s what this is, isn’t it? I’m all of your poison, I’m all you despise? It’s why you moved out, isn’t it? Because you can’t... you can’t be around me, someone that represents everything you hate.”
“That’s not it!” he cried, his voice so loud and pleading.
A small tear fell down her cheek. “Then what is it?”
“I look at you... and I feel like dying,” he whispered to her softly. “There isn’t a part of me were you are not there, you have broken and torn me in ways I never knew where possible. Maybe you don’t remember how you used to be or how you felt. But God - I do. You poisoned love and you fed on anger and cruelty. And I... I knew that. And I loved you anyway. I look at you and I want to die. Still that feeling won’t leave me and I need to know that... that I wasn’t wrong about you, that I did right in not giving up on you. Please, Tess, give me anything!”
Tess had stood stunned at his passionate words, say him turn around because he couldn’t face her, trying to even out his breathing.
Tears, oh the tears, wouldn’t stop forming themselves. They continued falling, continued burning her pale skin, as her hands covered her face.
Her shoulders began to shake as she was overcome with all of her burdens and her sins.
His arms tightened around her waist.
“I’m so sorry, Kyle,” she cried. “I’m so, so sorry...”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Crashdown, Liz’s Room, 9:10 P.M.
Sunday, June 14th
I’ll never finish writing secret letters to you. Even though I honestly wish that I could tell you to your face. That I could honestly scream to the top of my lungs what I have been silencing for so long. Isn’t that weak? Always having to use someone else’s voice for fear of what people might think of your own? Seeing the world with eyes people want you to see? Innocent and special. You, though. You seem to listen to my hidden cries, you seem to look into my eyes that are unreachable. You find it tangible, and you make me feel real. I don’t remember the last time I felt real.
I always want the wrong thing at the wrong time. And, it’s true. Mom reassures me that it’s just my over-achieving control issues.
I want your darkness. I want your fears.
I hang on to your every word, I cling to your silence.
Is this what we’ll always be? Me, writing my life away until there is no life to breathe?
I want dreams, dreams embedded with tears. I prefer the pain to what I’m feeling now... like I’m feeling nothing at all.
Maria says if I keep trying at it hard, I’ll stop loving you one day.
That I’ll wake up one day and you’ll simply be a memory. And something inside me breaks a little hearing it. More so because I know it isn’t true. I’ll be old and gray, and your name will flow beautifully and seamlessly from my mouth and I will still remember how deeply I love you. It’ll never leave me. When I’m with you, I never feel like searching for more. When I feel trapped and I need to scream, I look at you and I never feel lost anymore. I feel like there’s no guilded cage around me and I can feel and speak and breathe freely.
No, no. You’ll never leave me. You’ll be my secret, Alec, walking around unaware of the gaze that follows you.
It could never be. But... could it be?
It wouldn’t be neat, our box, tied with a fairy-tale kind of bow. We’d get messy. It would be... messy. And we would have to watch our backs almost all of the time. And sometimes, it won’t be pretty and there would be so many obstacles in our way.
But what is the point of love if it isn’t something too precious to lose? If love isn’t hard to achieve, wouldn’t that make is less special?
So what makes me want to try so badly? What makes me want to pull you closer and ask you, once again, to try?
And yet I still here am, in a restless night, wasting away to the possibility of the two of us.
Your eyes always feel like beautiful promise.
And Alec - that is a promise I’m going to hold you to.
Liz stopped writing abruptly when she felt herself being... nudged?
There was no one with her.
Frowning, she stood, once again feeling a strong pull.
Stars exploded in Liz’s mind as her body swayed waveringly, a faint glowing emanating from her body. And she saw, every color that must exist in the entire universe, combining with each other, separating, molding, swirling in beautiful whirlpools of movement that were familiar to her. The majestic colors she had seen with only one person before, threaded inside of her mind, the swirling, encompassing her in the torrent of dark hues, before she finally felt solid ground thundering below her feet.
“Alec?” she asked uncertainly.
Her eyes widened as she saw him approach her.
“What do you want?” she asked softly, her eyes guarded.
Alec opened his mouth and closed it. “I just wanted to see if the dream thing worked both ways. Guess the connection we made is still... cemented, huh?”
“I hate that word,” she muttered, shivering as she remembered FutureMax’s words.
“Sorry.”
They stood in front of each other, neither knowing what to say until Alec took the first step. “I miss you. And I know you now agree we can’t... be anything, but I had to see you.”
Liz swallowed, having him so close, feeling his body, so real, and burning near hers. “Why?”
“Because I don’t know if this is the last time that I will,” he answered honestly.
Liz’s eyes changed to frantic concern. “What are you going to do? Did something happen? Please let me help.”
“Liz, I can’t tell you where I am. Please just... just give me one night?”
“This isn’t fair,” she whispered to him painfully.
“I know. I know it’s selfish but I just can’t help myself. I try staying away from you but you’re carved inside of me too deeply. It’s like you’re more myself then I am.”
“I can’t do this. I can’t look at you,” Liz said, shaking her head, turning around from him and ready to push him out of her mind.
He flipped her around, backing her into what felt like a wall before claiming her mouth hungrily, her gasp of surprise lost as she stood, at first, motionless. Ah, but he was sneakier then she was, coaxing, seeking her tongue to come out and play as he caressed it with his, hands pressed firmly on her hips.
The wave of heat that poured into her was instantaneous and came with no warning. Ruefully she locked her hands around his neck, pressing him closer to her. Long, heated strokes of her tongue with his, hands touching everywhere they could, Alec moved his hands to the waist band of her jeans. She moaned into his mouth and stood still as he bit her lower lip, wrapping herself tighter around him, anger be damned.
“Don’t... don’t walk away from me,” he plead softly. Parting his mouth from hers, panting heavily, he found her hands and clasped them in his urgently. “Rip inside of me, yell at me all you want, tell me I’m the world’s sorriest excuse of a transgenic and that I was an asswhole to you. Hate me and punch my face but don’t... don’t leave me.”
Liz closed her eyes, his soft imploring melting her anger. She just couldn’t let herself be angry, not when she had him so close. She took a deep breath. “One night?”
“One night.”
“Our last?” she whispered harshly.
“I don’t know.”
“Okay,” she interjected in a small, child-like voice. It wasn’t a whiny sort of child. It was the kind that seemed like she had no idea where she was going, what she was doing, where there was to go.
“We have to look fancy. I want it to be fancy,” Liz said, changing her mood, snapping her fingers. “So, what color do you want my dress in?” she asked with a grin. “I mean, it is your dream. Whatcha say? Purple? Blue? Gold?”
“No color does you justice,” he interrupted. “But red’s as close as you can get.” He put his finger on her cheek. “Red’s fire, it’s passion, it’s intensity, it’s love, it’s… devastatingly beautiful.” His finger trailed all the way down to her lips. “Red is you.”
She had missed how much he proved he loved her. He somehow always knew what to say to explain what he was feeling. Smiling at him genuinely, she swished.
“Wow,” he breathed when her jeans and shirt were replaced by a dress. He’d never known what it felt like to be knocked breathless until he met her. His heart just always stopped for a second, drinking in her beauty, before it went back into his chest with double force and beating twice as fast. She was just gorgeously breathtaking.
Liz laughed, twirling around much to his appreciation.
“You’re beautiful,” he answered honestly. The gown, a devastating crimson wine red, clung to her like second skin.
He took her in his arms and they began to twirl to music only they could hear. It was scary to him how she fit into his arms perfectly. Her heart was beautiful to him, and he was attracted to her flame. She stared up at him, being met with a beautiful shade of emerald green. He was all she could see at that moment, and the whole world seemed to float away from her mind. It was eerie, how this man had so easily, and so quickly become such a huge part of her.
And Alec knew he was sinning with this dream, because it was too beautiful, too perfect to ever be real.
He looked at her, the way that he always did, no matter what she did. It was almost as if no matter what happened or what he claimed to feel, he’d always look at her as if the sun rose and set in her eyes, or as if she were a star.
He pursed his lips and nodded softly. “I was right about you all along, you know.”
She tilted her head as she felt his arms encircle her waist. She looked up at him and was filled with relief when she saw playfulness in his eyes and a teasing laugh in his smile. “And what’s that?”
“You’re worth waiting for.”
At that moment he was not in a cell, his body too beaten for him to even move. No, he was with Liz, who was unaware of that small fact. Sheer happiness, pure and unspoiled joy that radiated off of him like an innocent child he’d never been.
They stared into each other’s eyes and like so many times before, words just weren’t necessary. He would always love her eyes, beautiful black diamonds that told him all he needed to know. They were happy, dancing, mischievous, like he’d always known them to be - promised him so many dreams, the dream of her.
He didn’t need to say that he had loved her passion and ingenuity, how he’d seen her grow to the beautiful, sexy woman so full of wisdom and glow.
Her breath comes shallow, and she felt physical pain, have him so close, knowing if she only inched a little closer… what exactly did Alec to do her, that she abandoned all reason, threw away all anger, all logic, and want nothing but to have him with her?
It was a furtive, agonizing desire to sweep away her entire agony, back to a time where she’d be standing in front of Alec at the airport and clinging on to him for dear life instead of letting him walk away from her.
He buried his head in her hair, and she bit her lip to keep from weeping out loud. His touch was tender, and loving, how could she have ever thought she’d live without it?
Alec used the tip of his finger to languidly, softly trail her arm. Liz wasn’t surprised to feel the outer goose bumps, the inner turmoil that flamed her skin alive. She couldn’t help but remember those same hands were chained to a wall at this moment. Before she could help it a tear rolled down her eyes.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered. Had his words always been so clipped, as if every word pained his very soul?
Liz stared into his eyes at that moment, vaguely aware that tears were still flowing from hers. What was staring back at her broke her heart. He didn’t look like the carefree young man she’d fallen in love with. He looked tired as well, so tired, and so aged… he was barely twenty-one. They were so young and had their whole lives in front of them… why couldn’t life be simpler?
She was startled out of her thoughts when Alec inadvertently moved his hand to the back of her head, unclipping the barrette that sustained her hair, letting her dark, raven-haired tendrils fall into his hands and frame her face. Alec was trying to learn by heart every achingly beautiful part of her, trying to hold on to her soft, silky mane, commit to memory every shade of her black diamonded eyes, the curve of her button nose and heart-shaped face-he wanted to remember, memorize every inch of her, incase he never…
“Alec,” Liz whispered as she finally saw the long knife wound in his shoulder, and the faint purple bruise in his eye, her voice betraying her as it crumbled. “What have they done to you?” she whispered brokenly, laying her hand gently on his jaw, sending healing energy towards it as the bruise disappeared and the cut was mended. She proceeded to repair his lip, and by the time she finished tears were falling down her cheeks freely.
He grabbed her hand before she could continue. “Liz, I’m okay. I swear I am.”
She cradled his face and shook her head, her nose brushing his before she rose to the tips of her toes, her moist lips from her own tears meeting his as they caressed him lovingly.
He grabbed her face gently with his hand. “I know all of you… from the tip of your head to your toes… I’ve made love to all of your body,” he whispered. If this was his dream, he’d say all he’d wanted to say for a long time now. “I know you snore softly in your sleep. Your nose crinkles when it laughs, you chew your lip when you’re nervous. I know every line of your face, every small curve of your silhouette,” he continued, his hands slowly making their way from her arms to the bottom of her hips, pulling her closer, and urging her to meld with him. “I know… I know that you have a birthmark on the lower side of your back. Kinda sexy if you ask me,” he teased, and she laughed amid her crying hiccups.
He grabbed both her hands with his own, intertwining their fingers, kissing both of them. “Does anyone know you half the way that I do?” he asked seriously in a low husky voice, using his index finger to pull on the strap of her dress. “Does… does anyone love you half the way that I do?” he whispered in her ear. “Tell me, Liz, does anyone know the sensitive spot in your body that makes you scream my name?” he whispered, taking her earlobe with his teeth, producing a soft whimpering moan from her as his hand slid the dress up from her leg, his fingers resting in her upper hip.
“No,” she answered him brokenly. “No one.”
Cupping her face he crushed his lips to hers, fervently meeting her tongue with his. It was bittersweet, and it was perfect. He was tracing every corner of her mouth, allowing himself to remember what she felt like, the wonderment of home that he found in her, the familiar buzzing of his ears and the anticipation that made his hands tremble slightly. He hadn’t forgotten how perfect it was to kiss Liz, but he had no idea how he had gone without it for so long. He poured his every longing, his every pore of pain, of regret, of devastation, every ounce of overwhelming love he felt for her into that kiss, devouring her mouth and making love to it with his, willing Liz to remember.
And for one night, she let herself remember.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Steal Your Pain II (DA,XO,UC,MATURE) [COMPLETED] 06-30-05
Moderators: Anniepoo98, Itzstacie, truelovepooh, Erina, Forum Moderators
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- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Sat Jul 24, 2004 6:13 pm
- Location: Somewhere I have never traveled, gladly beyond any experience
- Contact:
Last edited by RavenSprite on Wed Aug 10, 2005 2:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
-
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Sat Jul 24, 2004 6:13 pm
- Location: Somewhere I have never traveled, gladly beyond any experience
- Contact:
WomanofMystery Glad to hear from you!! And yes, thankfully things are a little better but still hectic, so I’m trying to do this one day at a time. I am so relieved that you are liking where things are going. Liz always writes when she needs to vent, and in this chapter, I also wanted her to have another way to deal with everything that she has been going through. I know that Liz and Alec’s dreamwalk was sad, and many of you might be sick of the angst already, but I’m not done yet!!
elfangel01 You don’t know how hard it is for me to keep Liz and Alec apart! But I don’t want to rush things, I’m trying to do it as best as possible. Trust me. Glad you’re still reading!
joshz_girl I know! I agree about Isabel! All the first ’Steal Your Pain’ she was miserable and crying and now she finally has Alex back! The poor girl deserved it! And the Roswell Gang will definitely make an appearance in Seattle, keep reading!
orphyfets Thank you! Here I am, sooner then I thought!
Roswell Slayer I hate making people cry... okay, that’s not so true. I like writing heart-wrenching things. I’m evil that way. Hang on, it’ll get better!
Calinia~ Yay, I’m hearing from you again! Please don’t worry about feedback, I’ve been awful with mine as well. Forgive me? :d I’m so glad you like where I’m going! I’m such a Loyalist, it’s really hard to keep some scenes from being too carged with them. And you’re absolutely right - things won’t get weird for them, and neither regret it. I was really, really looking forward to writing a darker Alex. After what I had him go through, it would just seem unrealistic that he came out of it unscathed. But he loves Isabel, so all will be well. I love, love Isabel. And so much of her emotions and actions have been similar to mine. Maybe that’s why I love her so much? lol. Alec... man I hate myself for what I put him through. But I’m having a blast writing all of these plotholes and different interactions. I hope you continue liking it! :D
CHAPTER #11~Freak Nation~
Sunday, 11:00 a.m.
Liz sighed for the hundredth time, chewing the tip of her round painting brush as she stared at the blank canvas in front of her, a little worried as she saw Michael in front of her. While she couldn’t see his canvas, she saw him animatedly swishing his brush, bobbing his head up and down to the sound of his Metallica music that she had, admittedly, become quite addicted to.
She couldn’t help being so out of it. She was restless ever since she had woken up and Alec was gone. She had always been a bit of a hopeless romantic, had kept a shred of naievity and thought she and Alec would just end up together eventually because they were supposed to. Now it seemed that those chances were farther and farther away from her.
Maybe that was her destiny. To never be happy and end up continuously having to give up the person that she loves.
She looked at Michael with annoyance as she saw him painting furiously with the Pthalo Blue and the Yellow Ochre, and was curious to what he was coming up with - but one of their rules was they never showed each other anything until it was completely finished, where they would give an honest, critical opinion of what they saw. While Michael had to work a bit on his technique, Liz had to work more on the emotional side.
She was still scientific. She could paint perfectly anything she saw, which meant she was good at still-life where Michael was talented in the abstract, creative aspect.
Deciding once and for all she would just let the brush lead her for once, she began placing splotches of yellows, greens, and reds on her palette as she picked up the round brush to begin her background.
She liked these days, when Michael would surprisingly call her up and ask if he could come over with his stuff so they could spend the day painting. It was Michael’s way of bonding. He would never be the talkative kind of guy, but he tried to reach out to his friends the way he knew how with the things that he was comfortable with. And it was obvious to Liz that Michael was infinitely more talented then her.
She needed to vent out her feelings, however, and her journal wasn’t working much for her these days. Photography had been a passion of hers, and wanting to endeavor in other artistic aspects, she had asked Michael for a few tips and he had been impressed with her first painting. Ever since, whenever they felt inspired, they would close themselves off to the world - though anyone else could join them as long as they didn’t interrupt, and spend the entire day just painting. Hours of small details and colors.
“You okay?” Michael asked nonchalantly, tilting his head and shaking it softly. Glazing one color over the other for the effect he was aiming towards, he frowned and kept his ears attent in case Liz answered.
“I don’t know,” Liz answered honestly. She was aware Michael wasn’t the perfect person to go to when there was a heart-to-heart required, but he was the most sincere, realistic person she had ever met. He would never cover anything up with a pretty lie, and would rather tell a harsher truth. She sometimes needed his coat-throat view of the world and the things that sorrounded him.
“I mean, have you ever felt so confused that you couldn’t even separate certain emotions inside of you?”
Michael looked troubled. “Um... I dunno.”
“I’ve been sleeping with Kyle,” she blurted, covering her mouth as a red tint appeared on her cheeks.
Michael raised his eyebrow with interest, as she grew more embarrassed over her confession, which she clearly hadn’t thought of before she made it. “I had a gut feeling you were,” he said.
“Gut feeling or did Maria tell you?”
“Maria told me,” he admitted. “But I had noticed something going on.”
Liz sighed, cautiously blending the velvet purple at the corner of her painting. “I love Kyle. He’s... one of the most amazing people to ever grace this earth.”
“Are you in love with him, though?”
“Like I told him once... I think I’ll always be a little in love with him,” she replied. “But those feelings, I put them away deep inside of me because it isn’t fair to anyone else. Because I couldn’t ever be in a relationship with him. So I avoid these feelings, I keep them locked away from my mind.”
“But...”
“But there are times when I’m tired, so tired and lonely, that I can’t hide them from myself anymore. It’s like broken glass. When you’re cautious you make sure not to step on it, you’re so careful and scared because you don’t want to hurt yourself or someone else. But when I’m not looking, when I am not paying attention, I let myself get cut. But it dulls the other pain that I feel.”
“You make it sound like loving him is painful. Are we talking about Kyle here or Alec?”
She took a sharp breath, hearing his name after the night they had spent alerting her. “I don’t even know anymore.” Her shoulders sagged with guilt and her eyes watered slightly. “And I feel so guilty. Because yesterday... yesterday Alec walked into my mind. And it was like we had never been apart. Only we have been, and so much time has passed and I’ve been in this romantic entanglement with Kyle, my best friend, Alec’s friend... it would kill him if he found out.”
“You’re not together anymore, though,” Michael reminded her gently. “It’s not like you owe him any explanations.”
“But I still love him,” Liz accepted miserably. “And I always thought Alec would be the only person I could ever give myself to so intimately. But when I’m with Kyle things just fade away, and all the exhaustion I feel becomes insignificant. And then there’s the Tess factor.”
“Ah,” Michael said simply, enlightened.
“He loves Tess, too,” Liz answered matter-of-factly. “I know Kyle more then he knows himself. And he loves her, so deeply he does what I do. He walks past the glass so he will never wound. And it makes me angry that he loves her, even if I have no reason to be angry, because aren’t I in love with Alec? Aren’t I being unfair to Kyle by feeling this way? I’m never moving past Alec, everything I feel won’t go away from inside of me, just like Kyle can’t stop feeling what he does for Tess.”
“But he loves you. I can see it, Liz. I’ve seen it all along.”
“Is it even possible to love two people at the same time?”
Michael pursed his lips in concentration, dipping the brush in water before coating the canvas with another layer of color. “I think it is. I never told you this but... I had feelings for Isabel. While dating Maria.”
Liz’s eyes widened. “You did?”
“Yeah. We were having these dreams, where we were together, and we had a little boy. It was... it was like the family I never had. And it felt right. But it was only dreams, and I love Maria... I just think that, the group that we are, so intrinsically close, to emotionally linked, it’s hard to not know which lines to cross. You and Kyle have been best friends for a long while now, and each of you have experiences with other people you’re not willing to let go of. And maybe you shouldn’t be anything with Kyle until you do let it go.”
She smiled at him softly, eyes warm with gratitude. “When did you become so smart?”
He chuckled haughtily. “I was always this smart, Parker.”
She laughed with him, but continued painting. She didn’t stop, even when she got tired. She hadn’t even realized that Michael had walked over to her, standing behind her.
He stared at Liz’s final painting.
“What is it?” Michael breathed, his hands touching the colors that threaded each other beautifully, overlapping in perfect synchrony. It was almost as if they were... dancing.
Liz smiled softly. “Whenever Alec and I connected... this is what I saw in my mind. Explosions of colors that seemed to burn together behind the lids of his green eyes. It was always hard to explain and I always told myself I would paint it one day. This... this is what it felt like, this is what is looked like.”
“Do you have a name for it?” Michael asked, nodding his approval.
“I think I like ’Extreme’ for it.”
He grinned at her conspiratorially. “I think I like that, too.”
Liz lost her smile as she grew a faraway look into her eyes. “Something is wrong with Alec, Michael. I know it. I can feel it.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I’m gonna go find him. And I’m going to get him back.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
Sunday, 7:00 p.m.
“You are not making me watch this,” Alex Whitman stressed grumpily. Despite his decisive statement, he nonetheless let Isabel tug his arm towards the quaint movie theater. His eyebrow raised curiously when he noticed that it was almost completely empty.
Must have to do with all the blank and white films, he thought to himself with disdain. Why had he let himself get talked into this? Agreeing while he was being manipulated by her feminine wiles was not reason good enough. He didn’t use to be this easy, godammit!
Well... yes. Yes he did.
“Alex,” she began, turning to him with a slight pout. His eyes narrowed, and he truly wondered just how evil she could truly be, knowing how to pout appropiately and such. “This is one of my favorite movies ever. You know my love for all things Fred Astaire. And I hadn’t seen it actually showcased for the longest times. Come on, live a little! Who knows? You might even like it.”
“Is it sappy?” he asked her, his hand finding hers, pulling her to him as they moved to the line.
She buried her face in his chest guiltily. “Yeah.”
“Well mighty golly, ma’am, I’m gonna love it.”
She socked him glaringly. “Joke all you want. I promise you’ll end up loving it.”
He moved her in front of him. “Is that something you want to make a bet on, Izzy?” he asked, mouth dangerously close to her ear.
Surpressing a shiver, she twisted to meet his eyes, and instead was surprised to see his face was only inches away from hers. She raised her hazel brown eyes to his, contemplating them to see what she would find. It was something different and wholly unexpected. Alex had a confidence she hadn’t ever seen on him.
Giving him a soft smile, it was her that raised herself her lips close the small gap that had existed between them. Her lips finally brushed against his own, which were angled in anticipation.
She sighed inwardly with contentment, once again reassured that his mouth had been drawn perfectly to always mold with hers. Isabel had never wanted to become one of those girls, that would melt into a puddle at the mere touch of a guy. Her physical reactions were something she could no longer control. It was so much different then being with any of the boys she had been with before.
With Alex now... it was different. Control and brain processes were the first things that flew out the window. She barely could remember what she was doing the moment she was doing it.
“Izzy?”
She tried breaking out of her daze, forcing her tongue to come up with some sort of intelligent mumbling.
And failed. “Hmm?”
She felt him smirk against her lips. “Our turn.”
“What?” she stepped away briefly, until she came face to face with an annoyed young man about their age, waiting with two tickets in her hands. Isabel grabbed them from him with an apologetic smile, dragging a smug Alex behind.
It wasn’t just smugness, he reflected. He was actually pretty damn happy with the way the whole thing was turning out. He loved that he could just go up to Isabel and kiss her or talk to her whenever he wanted to. While he new he could be difficult and close himself off when she started making questions, she was being patient with him. She was trying her best to be understanding, and he loved her for it.
A small smile danced around Alex’s lips as he saw her arguing internally with herself on what snacks to buy. It was small things like these that he wanted to reacquaint himself with about her - her favorite candies and movies, what made her smile even it if was caused by the simplest of things.
“That’s a pretty big bagful of popcorn,” he observed teasingly.
She turned to him haughtily. “Get your own, Whitman,” she advised. “It’s all mine.”
“You know you’re going to share with me anyway,” he said confidently. She didn’t reply, but the minute they found their comfortable seats in the big red chairs, she grudgingly passed him the popcorn, wher he forced himself to hide a smile.
Without words she managed to soothe him, wrap her inside of him. And in the silences he knew he was cared for, and he could live like that forever.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Monday, 10:00 p.m.
Liz sighed gratefully as she turned to her watch, closing time finally rearing up its head as she finished a tiresome day. She sat next to Kyle at the booth, opening her mouth, about to affirm something, but decided against it.
The silence between them was so beautiful, so simple, and carefree.
But having made up her mind, everything... every breath was so hard, and every emotion so difficult. She felt Kyle, like she always did. It scared her sometimes, how eerily the two of them understood each other. She knew, without a doubt, Kyle was her soul mate. Her best friend, and for a short amount of time, her lover. And she knew some days she would wake up wondering how things would be like if she would choose differently, if she wasn’t so madly in love with Alec would she sum of her choices in another way.
And then it would hit her that if she hadn’t met Alec... she would have never experienced what she did. Whatever was happening to her, whatever they were going through, she didn’t care. She wanted those moments with him, she wanted to still be in love with him, no matter how badly it hurt. She had to feel this.
“You okay?”
She grinned at him, entwining her hands with his as he clasped them tighter. “Kyle, we need to...”
“Liz, don’t - ” he began, the glimmer of fear flickering through his blue eyes.
“We have to,” she whispered. “Because you mean too much to me for us not to have this conversation.”
Liz heard his intake of breath, and she stayed there, her dark eyes never leaving his. She now knew every small part of him, down to the freckle on his back and the small scar on his shoulder. And she loves this boy, would lay her life down for him, would love to feel nothing more then certainty that she should be with him. He is her sanctuary, knows what she feels more then she herself does. All of her pain and all of her truths have been Kyle’s truths.
Kyle sighed, ruffling his hands through his shaggy hair. “Liz, I love you. And it has always been there. It’s real.”
“I love you, too,” she declared softly. “This isn’t about what I don’t feel. This is about... the fact that I don’t want to continue this thing, just to have us feel differently down the road. Being with each other, while always wanting and loving someone else.”
It was a terrifying thought, but Kyle had promised himself he would no longer belong to lies and pretend.
“We...” Liz paused, “we needed each other. We love being together and we’re best friends. I don’t regret one minute of the time that we have spent together. And I never will. But I... I’m in love with Alec. I need to find him, I need to... to save him from whatever is haunting him. Such a big part of me is missing, Kyle, and I don’t want to hurt you with this but... it needs to be said.”
He cupped her face gently. And somehow, at that moment, there’s not doubt he wants her. Whether it’s right or wrong, painful or easy, he just wants her. “I always knew what you felt. I coached myself to expect this. Liz... I don’t regret anything either. But in the end, it has always been Alec for you.”
“Kyle,” she cried softly.
“I always remembered how you would look at him,” Kyle continued with a pained smile. “It was how I always wanted someone to look at me. How I wanted... wanted you to look at me.”
“How?” she asked with confusion.
“Like...” he paused, knowing the feeling all too well. “Like you’re going to stop breathing if he suddenly dissapears. Like your heart stops every time he walks into a room. There was just never going to be anyone else. As long as you two are breathing... it’s gonna happen.”
“Kyle...” Liz began again, turning to Tess who was sitting alone in a booth, Zan in her lap as she laughed and tickled her. Many of them would always hang out long after closing hour, and they had grown accustomed that Tess was now a part of it. “If you love her... you need to tell her.”
He sighed, almost with exasperation. “This is all too complicated,” he finally let out. “And right now... I want us to say goodbye as it is deserved.”
“Goodbye,” Liz echoed, the word crashing into her. And she hated herself. Because she was selfish. And she wanted Kyle and she wanted to go to Alec. She wanted both and she wanted forever.
Her eyes watered, but he shook it away, walking towards the jukebox and punching the buttons as Liz looked at him thoughtfully.
“What are you doing?” She yelled at him across from the restaurant.
Kyle winked. “Just wait, Bonnie.”
She heard the jukebox begin to play a familiar song, and laughed as Kyle began making his way towards her, snapping his fingers to the song.
How lucky can one guy be
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like a fella once said
"Ain’t that a kick in the head!"
She tried fighting off the tugging at the corners of her lip as he began to circle her, mouthing the words and tempting her to dance.
The room was completely black
I hugged her and she hugged back
Like the sailor said, quote
"Ain’t that a hole in the boat!"
She shook her head, covering her mouth so he wouldn’t see her mirth. But he knew she was amused, and so when he finally stopped circling around her, giving her a wide grin, he offered his hand out, mouth forming a pout as his eyes drooped. His eyes were so pale, and she couldn’t believe they had just had the most serious conversation...
My head keeps spinnin’
I go to sleep and keep grinnin’
If this is just the beginning
My life is going to bee-yo-tee-ful
Sighing unceremoniously her defeat, she accepted his hand, letting herself be pulled into the middle of the dance floor, her hips beginning to sway to the infamous song.
“This is one of my favorite songs,” Liz whispered into her ear.
He gave her a sad smile. “I know.”
Before long, she had forgotten her stubborn episode, and let herself move silly to the steps, twirling and gleefully laughing and moving along with Kyle, unspoken words passing between them.
I’ve sunshine enough to spread,
it’s just like the fella said
Tell me quick, ain’t love a kick in the head?
My head keeps spinnin’,
I go to sleep and keep grinnin’
If this is just the beginnin’,
my life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful
He dipped her gracefully before pulling her back up, twirling her before crushing her body back to his.
Trying to fight off the tingling sensation, she huffed. “Show off.”
He continued to grin.
She’s tellin’ me we’ll be wed,
she’s picked out a king-size bed
I couldn’t feel any better or I’d be sick
Tell me quick oh, ain’t love a kick?
Tell me quick ain’t love a kick in the head?
The song finished and Liz was no longer laughing. Tears threatened to find their way down her cheeks. She breathed in sharply, trying unsuccesfully to block the well of tears forming in the corners of her eyes, stinging every time she closed her lids.
Kyle led her through the backdoor, as she leaned on the wall, as she tried swallowing the excrutiating lump on her throat that was threatening to tear her apart inside.
“I’m sorry. I promised I wasn’t going to make such a big deal out of this,” Liz said, sniffling quietly.
“But it is a big deal,” Kyle whispered. “We took this big step and now we’re ending it. It does hurt, Liz.”
Instead of answering him, her ips lowered to capture his in the softest, most heartbreaking kiss. It had the longing, passion, and freedom that Kyle had given her, if only for a short moment. She explored him tenderly, seeked him with lingering plight, let herself be enveloped by her feelings, as she felt the passion humming to life. She was charged with emotion, brought back to life.
Her tongue met his, light as a feather, it was such a deep, overbearing need she was almost knocked away breathless by it. He resumed the tender assault on her neck, taking his languid time in her jaw line. Her eyes glazed closed. “Kyle?”
His lips rested on the crook of her neck as he murmured, “Hmm?”
“Best friends. You and me?”
“Always.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tess could not stop staring at Zan. She felt she would miss something huge if she settled her gaze on something else, if only for a second. She studied his blonde hair, that was so similar to hers, his hazel eyes that were exactly like Max’s, his small pudgy, perfect hands that seemed intent on playing with her now long hair, his feet dangling off of Tess’s lap because he couldn’t stand still, not even for a minute. She loved learning things about him, her heart swelled as Zan moved around in her lap, leaning towards her for security and warmth she now felt fully capable of giving.
“Gives a whole new meaning to the word motherhood, doesn’t it?” a voice behind her asked.
She turned around in the booth of the Crashdown, hands still clasped on Zan’s. Her smile widened as she saw Alex walking towards her, slipping into the booth in front of her, half-attempting to smile at Zan before turning back to Tess.
“Hey, stranger,” she said lightly to Alex, kissing the back of Zan’s head softly.
“Yeah, about that. I’m sorry that I haven’t been around much,” he apologized.
“Alex? You saw Isabel again. I wasn’t expecting to see much of you,” she teased lightly.
Though she was talking to Alex, her eyes were moving towards Kyle, who had turned a song on the jukebox and was now making his way towards Liz. She tried appearing like it didn’t bother her, but her eyes couldn’t stop looking at the two of them dancing so closely. She had always been jealous of the almost religious adoration Kyle would always have in his eyes when he looked at Liz.
Alex noticed this. “You two work things out?”
Tess frowned, a little nervous and off-guard. “Kyle and I are just friends.”
“Maybe on your end.”
“On his as well,” Tess sighed sadly. “In case you haven’t noticed, he’s back to Liz. He does not have feelings for me.”
Alex chuckled, grabbing one of her fries. “Your newfound innocence is rather cute.”
Tess wrinkled her nose. “It’s the truth. Kyle is with Liz right now, and I’m solely focused on Zan. I want him, Max and me to be a family.”
Alex’s gaze softened with concern. “You want to be with Max?”
Tess shook her head. “Max was an idealistic dream that was drilled into my head since I was a little girl. It wasn’t real. But he and I, we have a child together. I want us to have the most amicable of relationships. Zan deserves loving parents. I’ve been away for so long... I want to prove to Max I’m responsible enough to take care of him. I want him to trust me.”
Max, who was walking towards them, heard the last bit of Tess’s speech. “I do trust you,” Max answered honestly, sliding down next to her, ruffling Zan’s hair before greeting Alex with a nod.
“Thank you,” Tess replied softly.
Max scratched the back of his ear. “Now that I have you both here... I just... I want to know what happened. What Antar was like. I need to know.”
Tess flinched as she heard the name of their planet, bit her lip to keep it from quivering.
How could she begin to explain what was happening to her planet? How could she explain that it was a place where the seamless word freedom was an idealistic notion and not a birthright? They had been made to swallow their every desired goal, i nfavor of the warped political and richer minds of few. Slavery and death ruled above all, and safety and liberty were rare gifts among men. It was a small jewel of a planet where there was not promise and hope.
They breathed a sad reality. There was war, there was cruelty, and it was every day.
“Max...” Tess began.
“She’s not ready, Max,” Alex answered curtly. “And... I’m not either.”
“But - ”
“It’s horrible, okay Max?” Tess cut in, desperation and panic in her voice. “I stopped being blind to the cruel injustice of our Antar. There were bad men with unspeakable actions. they killed and slaughtered and they raped and stripped from moral dignity. It was twisted and it was painful in ways that you will never comprehend.”
Max sighed, stepping back carefully. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m gonna... I’m gonna order some food for my parents, okay? Tess, we’ll leave in a second.”
Tess nodded, staring at Alex with preoccupation. She wiped a tear down from her eyes, noticing Alex’s eyes were watery as well. “What happened to us was terrible, Alex. We were still so young, and had to grow up so fast. And no one deserved what we got. But trying to make it go away won’t work.”
“Making what go away?” Alex asked, faking nonchalance.
“To try and feel the same thing,” Tess explained. “Pretending it doesn’t exist so it doesn’t have to hurt? And when you do remember, try to feel anger like a cycle? Every time... I felt like crying, I would just get angry again. Because anger is more satisfying then pain. But it doesn’t work, Alex.”
“Nothing else does,” he whispered, tortured.
Tess stood up, following Alex’s suit, and moved towards him, enveloping his lanky body in a hug with her very small petite one. “Alex... talk to Isabel,” Tess said softly. “She’s the only one you will be able to let this go. Please.”
Alex nodded, brushing his lips tenderly in her forehead. “Okay. Go, now.”
She giggled, disentangling herself from him and moving towards Max, who had Zan cradled on one arm, and snaked the other around her waist. If Alex wasn’t aware that they felt nothing for each other, he would have sworn they were the picture perfect family.
And as Alex turned around and saw Kyle staring at them painfully, he realized Kyle could have sworn that, as well.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tuesday, 8:00 p.m.
Seattle
“How is he?”
Maxie raised her eyes to Ava, and then back at Alec, who was shivering in the bed, his hand clutching hers tightly. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. She softly moved a lock of Alec’s dirty blonde hair away from his forehead, and grimaced as she saw the dry blood.
A knock on the door startled her out of her horror, and Maxie sighed with relief once she saw Logan enter.
“What happened? How did you find him?” he asked quickly, opening the kit he had in his hands and moving towards Alec, who was still wordless, eyes closed and hand tightly clasping Maxie’s.
“I don’t think he escaped,” Maxie began with confusion. “I think they... they let him go. He didn’t want to talk. He... he keeps saying things I don’t understand. I’m really worried.”
Maxie’s jaw tightened perceptably, boiling rage rumbling in her stomach as her other hand gripped at the sheets near the bed, praying for composure and patience. Alec, her family, was taken and tortured. But if this had taught her anything, it was that she couldn’t charge into their enemy’s lair with irrational anger. She would ruin everything and in the end, solve nothing. She needed to take them down, once and for all. And for now, she could care for nothing that didn’t involve Alec’s recovery.
“Oh my God...” Ava whispered, her hands moving to Alec’s bare back, where traces of deeply cut flesh wounded his skin.
“What was their purpose?” Maxie asked, hands balled into fists, knuckles alabaster white. It took all of her physical restraint to keep her from murder. Even Logan’s face was marred with angry blotches of red as a vein popped from his neck and fists curled painfully.
“What else?” Ava sneered. “They used him as an example. They want to swipe away the transgenics. They want to make you fear them. By using Alec, they were teaching you a lesson as to what would happen if you don’t follow their rules and play their game.”
Maxie snarled in answer, as both Ava and Logan backed away instinctively. Her supposed disdain for Alec had always just been a bluster, and she cared for him deeply, more then she would ever admit. He was one of hers, and she’d be damned if this remained unpunished.
Alec’s voice brought their attention back to him, as he moved to the other side. And though his voice was more or less incoherent, what he said was clear to them as day. “Liz.”
Ava bit her lip nervously. “We should tell her. We need Liz.”
Maxie didn’t answer her, instead sad on the edge of the bed, the back of her hand resting on Alec’s forehead, soothing him wit her presence. “Alec,” she breathed sadly, the closest she had ever felt to such raw emotion and anger. He looked so broken and so hurt. He had always seemed so invincible and cocky, to find out that he wasn’t broke her heart. Images flooded her mind - the pictures of the tortured transgenics, the news that made them into a plague, and now Alec.
In an uncharacteristic act of gentility, she brushed her lips on his forehead, and stood, turning to Ava and Logan.
“What do we do?” Ava asked helplessly.
Maxie’s eyes darkened. “I’m done waiting. We strike back.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Michael,” Maria stressed patiently, “you can’t win when you only have two pair. Not when Kyle has a flush.”
Michael muttered something under his breath, but nonetheless let Kyle grab the pile of money that was in the middle of the long table.
Maria turned to the couch, where Liz was sleeping, but seemed to be fidgeting and moving from one side to another.
“Is my chica okay?” Maria asked with preoccupation.
As if on cue, Liz’s eyes flew open as she began to scream, sitting straight. “Alec!”
Michael, Maria, and Kyle moved towards her, as she was still furiously moving and yelling. Michael grabbed her by the shoulders, as she punched his chest, trying to get away from him. Maria and Kyle stood by, watching helplessly.
“He’s in trouble,” she gasped out. She met Maria’s eyes riotously. “I need to be with him. He needs me.”
Michael’s eyes softened. “Liz, calm down, okay?”
“I can’t, something happened just now, I know it! I dreamed - ”
Before she could finish, Max stumbled into the door.
Michael’s eyes raised towards Max, who was walking into the room. He looked disoriented, shocked... and broken. He opened his mouth to ask him what was wrong, but couldn’t. He didn’t even glance at him as he, instead, leaned on the wall next to the door, speechless.
“Max?” Kyle asked with concern.
Something crashed inside of Liz. She had felt so many things for Max Evans, from tender adoration to intense disdain to nostalgic affection. Seeing him so utterly broken made something inside of her twist. Her heart constricted as Max slid down to the floor, knees close to his chest as he stared idly at the wall in front of him.
The four of them heard the swish of the door, and both turned to see Tess, eyes wild and wounded.
Max instantly got to his feet. The years, the distance, it all seemed to wither away as relief washed over him, walking towards Tess and crushing her to him, engulfing her small, elfin-like body whole.
Kyle turned away uncomfortably, jaw set into a tight line.
“He’s gone,” Max said softly, burying his face on Tess’ shoulder as she clung to Max tightly, already knowing what he meant before he even clarified. She sighed into him, hands meeting at the end of his waist, tears burning into her eyes.
“Max?” Michael asked hesitantly, reaching to put an uncertain hand on his best friend’s shoulder..
Max’s eyes met Liz’s with tortured ache, still holding on to Tess. He sighed, exhausted, years that he hadn’t lived marring his eyes. “He’s gone, Michael. They took my son.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
elfangel01 You don’t know how hard it is for me to keep Liz and Alec apart! But I don’t want to rush things, I’m trying to do it as best as possible. Trust me. Glad you’re still reading!
joshz_girl I know! I agree about Isabel! All the first ’Steal Your Pain’ she was miserable and crying and now she finally has Alex back! The poor girl deserved it! And the Roswell Gang will definitely make an appearance in Seattle, keep reading!
orphyfets Thank you! Here I am, sooner then I thought!
Roswell Slayer I hate making people cry... okay, that’s not so true. I like writing heart-wrenching things. I’m evil that way. Hang on, it’ll get better!
Calinia~ Yay, I’m hearing from you again! Please don’t worry about feedback, I’ve been awful with mine as well. Forgive me? :d I’m so glad you like where I’m going! I’m such a Loyalist, it’s really hard to keep some scenes from being too carged with them. And you’re absolutely right - things won’t get weird for them, and neither regret it. I was really, really looking forward to writing a darker Alex. After what I had him go through, it would just seem unrealistic that he came out of it unscathed. But he loves Isabel, so all will be well. I love, love Isabel. And so much of her emotions and actions have been similar to mine. Maybe that’s why I love her so much? lol. Alec... man I hate myself for what I put him through. But I’m having a blast writing all of these plotholes and different interactions. I hope you continue liking it! :D
CHAPTER #11~Freak Nation~
Sunday, 11:00 a.m.
Liz sighed for the hundredth time, chewing the tip of her round painting brush as she stared at the blank canvas in front of her, a little worried as she saw Michael in front of her. While she couldn’t see his canvas, she saw him animatedly swishing his brush, bobbing his head up and down to the sound of his Metallica music that she had, admittedly, become quite addicted to.
She couldn’t help being so out of it. She was restless ever since she had woken up and Alec was gone. She had always been a bit of a hopeless romantic, had kept a shred of naievity and thought she and Alec would just end up together eventually because they were supposed to. Now it seemed that those chances were farther and farther away from her.
Maybe that was her destiny. To never be happy and end up continuously having to give up the person that she loves.
She looked at Michael with annoyance as she saw him painting furiously with the Pthalo Blue and the Yellow Ochre, and was curious to what he was coming up with - but one of their rules was they never showed each other anything until it was completely finished, where they would give an honest, critical opinion of what they saw. While Michael had to work a bit on his technique, Liz had to work more on the emotional side.
She was still scientific. She could paint perfectly anything she saw, which meant she was good at still-life where Michael was talented in the abstract, creative aspect.
Deciding once and for all she would just let the brush lead her for once, she began placing splotches of yellows, greens, and reds on her palette as she picked up the round brush to begin her background.
She liked these days, when Michael would surprisingly call her up and ask if he could come over with his stuff so they could spend the day painting. It was Michael’s way of bonding. He would never be the talkative kind of guy, but he tried to reach out to his friends the way he knew how with the things that he was comfortable with. And it was obvious to Liz that Michael was infinitely more talented then her.
She needed to vent out her feelings, however, and her journal wasn’t working much for her these days. Photography had been a passion of hers, and wanting to endeavor in other artistic aspects, she had asked Michael for a few tips and he had been impressed with her first painting. Ever since, whenever they felt inspired, they would close themselves off to the world - though anyone else could join them as long as they didn’t interrupt, and spend the entire day just painting. Hours of small details and colors.
“You okay?” Michael asked nonchalantly, tilting his head and shaking it softly. Glazing one color over the other for the effect he was aiming towards, he frowned and kept his ears attent in case Liz answered.
“I don’t know,” Liz answered honestly. She was aware Michael wasn’t the perfect person to go to when there was a heart-to-heart required, but he was the most sincere, realistic person she had ever met. He would never cover anything up with a pretty lie, and would rather tell a harsher truth. She sometimes needed his coat-throat view of the world and the things that sorrounded him.
“I mean, have you ever felt so confused that you couldn’t even separate certain emotions inside of you?”
Michael looked troubled. “Um... I dunno.”
“I’ve been sleeping with Kyle,” she blurted, covering her mouth as a red tint appeared on her cheeks.
Michael raised his eyebrow with interest, as she grew more embarrassed over her confession, which she clearly hadn’t thought of before she made it. “I had a gut feeling you were,” he said.
“Gut feeling or did Maria tell you?”
“Maria told me,” he admitted. “But I had noticed something going on.”
Liz sighed, cautiously blending the velvet purple at the corner of her painting. “I love Kyle. He’s... one of the most amazing people to ever grace this earth.”
“Are you in love with him, though?”
“Like I told him once... I think I’ll always be a little in love with him,” she replied. “But those feelings, I put them away deep inside of me because it isn’t fair to anyone else. Because I couldn’t ever be in a relationship with him. So I avoid these feelings, I keep them locked away from my mind.”
“But...”
“But there are times when I’m tired, so tired and lonely, that I can’t hide them from myself anymore. It’s like broken glass. When you’re cautious you make sure not to step on it, you’re so careful and scared because you don’t want to hurt yourself or someone else. But when I’m not looking, when I am not paying attention, I let myself get cut. But it dulls the other pain that I feel.”
“You make it sound like loving him is painful. Are we talking about Kyle here or Alec?”
She took a sharp breath, hearing his name after the night they had spent alerting her. “I don’t even know anymore.” Her shoulders sagged with guilt and her eyes watered slightly. “And I feel so guilty. Because yesterday... yesterday Alec walked into my mind. And it was like we had never been apart. Only we have been, and so much time has passed and I’ve been in this romantic entanglement with Kyle, my best friend, Alec’s friend... it would kill him if he found out.”
“You’re not together anymore, though,” Michael reminded her gently. “It’s not like you owe him any explanations.”
“But I still love him,” Liz accepted miserably. “And I always thought Alec would be the only person I could ever give myself to so intimately. But when I’m with Kyle things just fade away, and all the exhaustion I feel becomes insignificant. And then there’s the Tess factor.”
“Ah,” Michael said simply, enlightened.
“He loves Tess, too,” Liz answered matter-of-factly. “I know Kyle more then he knows himself. And he loves her, so deeply he does what I do. He walks past the glass so he will never wound. And it makes me angry that he loves her, even if I have no reason to be angry, because aren’t I in love with Alec? Aren’t I being unfair to Kyle by feeling this way? I’m never moving past Alec, everything I feel won’t go away from inside of me, just like Kyle can’t stop feeling what he does for Tess.”
“But he loves you. I can see it, Liz. I’ve seen it all along.”
“Is it even possible to love two people at the same time?”
Michael pursed his lips in concentration, dipping the brush in water before coating the canvas with another layer of color. “I think it is. I never told you this but... I had feelings for Isabel. While dating Maria.”
Liz’s eyes widened. “You did?”
“Yeah. We were having these dreams, where we were together, and we had a little boy. It was... it was like the family I never had. And it felt right. But it was only dreams, and I love Maria... I just think that, the group that we are, so intrinsically close, to emotionally linked, it’s hard to not know which lines to cross. You and Kyle have been best friends for a long while now, and each of you have experiences with other people you’re not willing to let go of. And maybe you shouldn’t be anything with Kyle until you do let it go.”
She smiled at him softly, eyes warm with gratitude. “When did you become so smart?”
He chuckled haughtily. “I was always this smart, Parker.”
She laughed with him, but continued painting. She didn’t stop, even when she got tired. She hadn’t even realized that Michael had walked over to her, standing behind her.
He stared at Liz’s final painting.
“What is it?” Michael breathed, his hands touching the colors that threaded each other beautifully, overlapping in perfect synchrony. It was almost as if they were... dancing.
Liz smiled softly. “Whenever Alec and I connected... this is what I saw in my mind. Explosions of colors that seemed to burn together behind the lids of his green eyes. It was always hard to explain and I always told myself I would paint it one day. This... this is what it felt like, this is what is looked like.”
“Do you have a name for it?” Michael asked, nodding his approval.
“I think I like ’Extreme’ for it.”
He grinned at her conspiratorially. “I think I like that, too.”
Liz lost her smile as she grew a faraway look into her eyes. “Something is wrong with Alec, Michael. I know it. I can feel it.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I’m gonna go find him. And I’m going to get him back.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
Sunday, 7:00 p.m.
“You are not making me watch this,” Alex Whitman stressed grumpily. Despite his decisive statement, he nonetheless let Isabel tug his arm towards the quaint movie theater. His eyebrow raised curiously when he noticed that it was almost completely empty.
Must have to do with all the blank and white films, he thought to himself with disdain. Why had he let himself get talked into this? Agreeing while he was being manipulated by her feminine wiles was not reason good enough. He didn’t use to be this easy, godammit!
Well... yes. Yes he did.
“Alex,” she began, turning to him with a slight pout. His eyes narrowed, and he truly wondered just how evil she could truly be, knowing how to pout appropiately and such. “This is one of my favorite movies ever. You know my love for all things Fred Astaire. And I hadn’t seen it actually showcased for the longest times. Come on, live a little! Who knows? You might even like it.”
“Is it sappy?” he asked her, his hand finding hers, pulling her to him as they moved to the line.
She buried her face in his chest guiltily. “Yeah.”
“Well mighty golly, ma’am, I’m gonna love it.”
She socked him glaringly. “Joke all you want. I promise you’ll end up loving it.”
He moved her in front of him. “Is that something you want to make a bet on, Izzy?” he asked, mouth dangerously close to her ear.
Surpressing a shiver, she twisted to meet his eyes, and instead was surprised to see his face was only inches away from hers. She raised her hazel brown eyes to his, contemplating them to see what she would find. It was something different and wholly unexpected. Alex had a confidence she hadn’t ever seen on him.
Giving him a soft smile, it was her that raised herself her lips close the small gap that had existed between them. Her lips finally brushed against his own, which were angled in anticipation.
She sighed inwardly with contentment, once again reassured that his mouth had been drawn perfectly to always mold with hers. Isabel had never wanted to become one of those girls, that would melt into a puddle at the mere touch of a guy. Her physical reactions were something she could no longer control. It was so much different then being with any of the boys she had been with before.
With Alex now... it was different. Control and brain processes were the first things that flew out the window. She barely could remember what she was doing the moment she was doing it.
“Izzy?”
She tried breaking out of her daze, forcing her tongue to come up with some sort of intelligent mumbling.
And failed. “Hmm?”
She felt him smirk against her lips. “Our turn.”
“What?” she stepped away briefly, until she came face to face with an annoyed young man about their age, waiting with two tickets in her hands. Isabel grabbed them from him with an apologetic smile, dragging a smug Alex behind.
It wasn’t just smugness, he reflected. He was actually pretty damn happy with the way the whole thing was turning out. He loved that he could just go up to Isabel and kiss her or talk to her whenever he wanted to. While he new he could be difficult and close himself off when she started making questions, she was being patient with him. She was trying her best to be understanding, and he loved her for it.
A small smile danced around Alex’s lips as he saw her arguing internally with herself on what snacks to buy. It was small things like these that he wanted to reacquaint himself with about her - her favorite candies and movies, what made her smile even it if was caused by the simplest of things.
“That’s a pretty big bagful of popcorn,” he observed teasingly.
She turned to him haughtily. “Get your own, Whitman,” she advised. “It’s all mine.”
“You know you’re going to share with me anyway,” he said confidently. She didn’t reply, but the minute they found their comfortable seats in the big red chairs, she grudgingly passed him the popcorn, wher he forced himself to hide a smile.
Without words she managed to soothe him, wrap her inside of him. And in the silences he knew he was cared for, and he could live like that forever.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Monday, 10:00 p.m.
Liz sighed gratefully as she turned to her watch, closing time finally rearing up its head as she finished a tiresome day. She sat next to Kyle at the booth, opening her mouth, about to affirm something, but decided against it.
The silence between them was so beautiful, so simple, and carefree.
But having made up her mind, everything... every breath was so hard, and every emotion so difficult. She felt Kyle, like she always did. It scared her sometimes, how eerily the two of them understood each other. She knew, without a doubt, Kyle was her soul mate. Her best friend, and for a short amount of time, her lover. And she knew some days she would wake up wondering how things would be like if she would choose differently, if she wasn’t so madly in love with Alec would she sum of her choices in another way.
And then it would hit her that if she hadn’t met Alec... she would have never experienced what she did. Whatever was happening to her, whatever they were going through, she didn’t care. She wanted those moments with him, she wanted to still be in love with him, no matter how badly it hurt. She had to feel this.
“You okay?”
She grinned at him, entwining her hands with his as he clasped them tighter. “Kyle, we need to...”
“Liz, don’t - ” he began, the glimmer of fear flickering through his blue eyes.
“We have to,” she whispered. “Because you mean too much to me for us not to have this conversation.”
Liz heard his intake of breath, and she stayed there, her dark eyes never leaving his. She now knew every small part of him, down to the freckle on his back and the small scar on his shoulder. And she loves this boy, would lay her life down for him, would love to feel nothing more then certainty that she should be with him. He is her sanctuary, knows what she feels more then she herself does. All of her pain and all of her truths have been Kyle’s truths.
Kyle sighed, ruffling his hands through his shaggy hair. “Liz, I love you. And it has always been there. It’s real.”
“I love you, too,” she declared softly. “This isn’t about what I don’t feel. This is about... the fact that I don’t want to continue this thing, just to have us feel differently down the road. Being with each other, while always wanting and loving someone else.”
It was a terrifying thought, but Kyle had promised himself he would no longer belong to lies and pretend.
“We...” Liz paused, “we needed each other. We love being together and we’re best friends. I don’t regret one minute of the time that we have spent together. And I never will. But I... I’m in love with Alec. I need to find him, I need to... to save him from whatever is haunting him. Such a big part of me is missing, Kyle, and I don’t want to hurt you with this but... it needs to be said.”
He cupped her face gently. And somehow, at that moment, there’s not doubt he wants her. Whether it’s right or wrong, painful or easy, he just wants her. “I always knew what you felt. I coached myself to expect this. Liz... I don’t regret anything either. But in the end, it has always been Alec for you.”
“Kyle,” she cried softly.
“I always remembered how you would look at him,” Kyle continued with a pained smile. “It was how I always wanted someone to look at me. How I wanted... wanted you to look at me.”
“How?” she asked with confusion.
“Like...” he paused, knowing the feeling all too well. “Like you’re going to stop breathing if he suddenly dissapears. Like your heart stops every time he walks into a room. There was just never going to be anyone else. As long as you two are breathing... it’s gonna happen.”
“Kyle...” Liz began again, turning to Tess who was sitting alone in a booth, Zan in her lap as she laughed and tickled her. Many of them would always hang out long after closing hour, and they had grown accustomed that Tess was now a part of it. “If you love her... you need to tell her.”
He sighed, almost with exasperation. “This is all too complicated,” he finally let out. “And right now... I want us to say goodbye as it is deserved.”
“Goodbye,” Liz echoed, the word crashing into her. And she hated herself. Because she was selfish. And she wanted Kyle and she wanted to go to Alec. She wanted both and she wanted forever.
Her eyes watered, but he shook it away, walking towards the jukebox and punching the buttons as Liz looked at him thoughtfully.
“What are you doing?” She yelled at him across from the restaurant.
Kyle winked. “Just wait, Bonnie.”
She heard the jukebox begin to play a familiar song, and laughed as Kyle began making his way towards her, snapping his fingers to the song.
How lucky can one guy be
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like a fella once said
"Ain’t that a kick in the head!"
She tried fighting off the tugging at the corners of her lip as he began to circle her, mouthing the words and tempting her to dance.
The room was completely black
I hugged her and she hugged back
Like the sailor said, quote
"Ain’t that a hole in the boat!"
She shook her head, covering her mouth so he wouldn’t see her mirth. But he knew she was amused, and so when he finally stopped circling around her, giving her a wide grin, he offered his hand out, mouth forming a pout as his eyes drooped. His eyes were so pale, and she couldn’t believe they had just had the most serious conversation...
My head keeps spinnin’
I go to sleep and keep grinnin’
If this is just the beginning
My life is going to bee-yo-tee-ful
Sighing unceremoniously her defeat, she accepted his hand, letting herself be pulled into the middle of the dance floor, her hips beginning to sway to the infamous song.
“This is one of my favorite songs,” Liz whispered into her ear.
He gave her a sad smile. “I know.”
Before long, she had forgotten her stubborn episode, and let herself move silly to the steps, twirling and gleefully laughing and moving along with Kyle, unspoken words passing between them.
I’ve sunshine enough to spread,
it’s just like the fella said
Tell me quick, ain’t love a kick in the head?
My head keeps spinnin’,
I go to sleep and keep grinnin’
If this is just the beginnin’,
my life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful
He dipped her gracefully before pulling her back up, twirling her before crushing her body back to his.
Trying to fight off the tingling sensation, she huffed. “Show off.”
He continued to grin.
She’s tellin’ me we’ll be wed,
she’s picked out a king-size bed
I couldn’t feel any better or I’d be sick
Tell me quick oh, ain’t love a kick?
Tell me quick ain’t love a kick in the head?
The song finished and Liz was no longer laughing. Tears threatened to find their way down her cheeks. She breathed in sharply, trying unsuccesfully to block the well of tears forming in the corners of her eyes, stinging every time she closed her lids.
Kyle led her through the backdoor, as she leaned on the wall, as she tried swallowing the excrutiating lump on her throat that was threatening to tear her apart inside.
“I’m sorry. I promised I wasn’t going to make such a big deal out of this,” Liz said, sniffling quietly.
“But it is a big deal,” Kyle whispered. “We took this big step and now we’re ending it. It does hurt, Liz.”
Instead of answering him, her ips lowered to capture his in the softest, most heartbreaking kiss. It had the longing, passion, and freedom that Kyle had given her, if only for a short moment. She explored him tenderly, seeked him with lingering plight, let herself be enveloped by her feelings, as she felt the passion humming to life. She was charged with emotion, brought back to life.
Her tongue met his, light as a feather, it was such a deep, overbearing need she was almost knocked away breathless by it. He resumed the tender assault on her neck, taking his languid time in her jaw line. Her eyes glazed closed. “Kyle?”
His lips rested on the crook of her neck as he murmured, “Hmm?”
“Best friends. You and me?”
“Always.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tess could not stop staring at Zan. She felt she would miss something huge if she settled her gaze on something else, if only for a second. She studied his blonde hair, that was so similar to hers, his hazel eyes that were exactly like Max’s, his small pudgy, perfect hands that seemed intent on playing with her now long hair, his feet dangling off of Tess’s lap because he couldn’t stand still, not even for a minute. She loved learning things about him, her heart swelled as Zan moved around in her lap, leaning towards her for security and warmth she now felt fully capable of giving.
“Gives a whole new meaning to the word motherhood, doesn’t it?” a voice behind her asked.
She turned around in the booth of the Crashdown, hands still clasped on Zan’s. Her smile widened as she saw Alex walking towards her, slipping into the booth in front of her, half-attempting to smile at Zan before turning back to Tess.
“Hey, stranger,” she said lightly to Alex, kissing the back of Zan’s head softly.
“Yeah, about that. I’m sorry that I haven’t been around much,” he apologized.
“Alex? You saw Isabel again. I wasn’t expecting to see much of you,” she teased lightly.
Though she was talking to Alex, her eyes were moving towards Kyle, who had turned a song on the jukebox and was now making his way towards Liz. She tried appearing like it didn’t bother her, but her eyes couldn’t stop looking at the two of them dancing so closely. She had always been jealous of the almost religious adoration Kyle would always have in his eyes when he looked at Liz.
Alex noticed this. “You two work things out?”
Tess frowned, a little nervous and off-guard. “Kyle and I are just friends.”
“Maybe on your end.”
“On his as well,” Tess sighed sadly. “In case you haven’t noticed, he’s back to Liz. He does not have feelings for me.”
Alex chuckled, grabbing one of her fries. “Your newfound innocence is rather cute.”
Tess wrinkled her nose. “It’s the truth. Kyle is with Liz right now, and I’m solely focused on Zan. I want him, Max and me to be a family.”
Alex’s gaze softened with concern. “You want to be with Max?”
Tess shook her head. “Max was an idealistic dream that was drilled into my head since I was a little girl. It wasn’t real. But he and I, we have a child together. I want us to have the most amicable of relationships. Zan deserves loving parents. I’ve been away for so long... I want to prove to Max I’m responsible enough to take care of him. I want him to trust me.”
Max, who was walking towards them, heard the last bit of Tess’s speech. “I do trust you,” Max answered honestly, sliding down next to her, ruffling Zan’s hair before greeting Alex with a nod.
“Thank you,” Tess replied softly.
Max scratched the back of his ear. “Now that I have you both here... I just... I want to know what happened. What Antar was like. I need to know.”
Tess flinched as she heard the name of their planet, bit her lip to keep it from quivering.
How could she begin to explain what was happening to her planet? How could she explain that it was a place where the seamless word freedom was an idealistic notion and not a birthright? They had been made to swallow their every desired goal, i nfavor of the warped political and richer minds of few. Slavery and death ruled above all, and safety and liberty were rare gifts among men. It was a small jewel of a planet where there was not promise and hope.
They breathed a sad reality. There was war, there was cruelty, and it was every day.
“Max...” Tess began.
“She’s not ready, Max,” Alex answered curtly. “And... I’m not either.”
“But - ”
“It’s horrible, okay Max?” Tess cut in, desperation and panic in her voice. “I stopped being blind to the cruel injustice of our Antar. There were bad men with unspeakable actions. they killed and slaughtered and they raped and stripped from moral dignity. It was twisted and it was painful in ways that you will never comprehend.”
Max sighed, stepping back carefully. “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m gonna... I’m gonna order some food for my parents, okay? Tess, we’ll leave in a second.”
Tess nodded, staring at Alex with preoccupation. She wiped a tear down from her eyes, noticing Alex’s eyes were watery as well. “What happened to us was terrible, Alex. We were still so young, and had to grow up so fast. And no one deserved what we got. But trying to make it go away won’t work.”
“Making what go away?” Alex asked, faking nonchalance.
“To try and feel the same thing,” Tess explained. “Pretending it doesn’t exist so it doesn’t have to hurt? And when you do remember, try to feel anger like a cycle? Every time... I felt like crying, I would just get angry again. Because anger is more satisfying then pain. But it doesn’t work, Alex.”
“Nothing else does,” he whispered, tortured.
Tess stood up, following Alex’s suit, and moved towards him, enveloping his lanky body in a hug with her very small petite one. “Alex... talk to Isabel,” Tess said softly. “She’s the only one you will be able to let this go. Please.”
Alex nodded, brushing his lips tenderly in her forehead. “Okay. Go, now.”
She giggled, disentangling herself from him and moving towards Max, who had Zan cradled on one arm, and snaked the other around her waist. If Alex wasn’t aware that they felt nothing for each other, he would have sworn they were the picture perfect family.
And as Alex turned around and saw Kyle staring at them painfully, he realized Kyle could have sworn that, as well.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tuesday, 8:00 p.m.
Seattle
“How is he?”
Maxie raised her eyes to Ava, and then back at Alec, who was shivering in the bed, his hand clutching hers tightly. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. She softly moved a lock of Alec’s dirty blonde hair away from his forehead, and grimaced as she saw the dry blood.
A knock on the door startled her out of her horror, and Maxie sighed with relief once she saw Logan enter.
“What happened? How did you find him?” he asked quickly, opening the kit he had in his hands and moving towards Alec, who was still wordless, eyes closed and hand tightly clasping Maxie’s.
“I don’t think he escaped,” Maxie began with confusion. “I think they... they let him go. He didn’t want to talk. He... he keeps saying things I don’t understand. I’m really worried.”
Maxie’s jaw tightened perceptably, boiling rage rumbling in her stomach as her other hand gripped at the sheets near the bed, praying for composure and patience. Alec, her family, was taken and tortured. But if this had taught her anything, it was that she couldn’t charge into their enemy’s lair with irrational anger. She would ruin everything and in the end, solve nothing. She needed to take them down, once and for all. And for now, she could care for nothing that didn’t involve Alec’s recovery.
“Oh my God...” Ava whispered, her hands moving to Alec’s bare back, where traces of deeply cut flesh wounded his skin.
“What was their purpose?” Maxie asked, hands balled into fists, knuckles alabaster white. It took all of her physical restraint to keep her from murder. Even Logan’s face was marred with angry blotches of red as a vein popped from his neck and fists curled painfully.
“What else?” Ava sneered. “They used him as an example. They want to swipe away the transgenics. They want to make you fear them. By using Alec, they were teaching you a lesson as to what would happen if you don’t follow their rules and play their game.”
Maxie snarled in answer, as both Ava and Logan backed away instinctively. Her supposed disdain for Alec had always just been a bluster, and she cared for him deeply, more then she would ever admit. He was one of hers, and she’d be damned if this remained unpunished.
Alec’s voice brought their attention back to him, as he moved to the other side. And though his voice was more or less incoherent, what he said was clear to them as day. “Liz.”
Ava bit her lip nervously. “We should tell her. We need Liz.”
Maxie didn’t answer her, instead sad on the edge of the bed, the back of her hand resting on Alec’s forehead, soothing him wit her presence. “Alec,” she breathed sadly, the closest she had ever felt to such raw emotion and anger. He looked so broken and so hurt. He had always seemed so invincible and cocky, to find out that he wasn’t broke her heart. Images flooded her mind - the pictures of the tortured transgenics, the news that made them into a plague, and now Alec.
In an uncharacteristic act of gentility, she brushed her lips on his forehead, and stood, turning to Ava and Logan.
“What do we do?” Ava asked helplessly.
Maxie’s eyes darkened. “I’m done waiting. We strike back.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
“Michael,” Maria stressed patiently, “you can’t win when you only have two pair. Not when Kyle has a flush.”
Michael muttered something under his breath, but nonetheless let Kyle grab the pile of money that was in the middle of the long table.
Maria turned to the couch, where Liz was sleeping, but seemed to be fidgeting and moving from one side to another.
“Is my chica okay?” Maria asked with preoccupation.
As if on cue, Liz’s eyes flew open as she began to scream, sitting straight. “Alec!”
Michael, Maria, and Kyle moved towards her, as she was still furiously moving and yelling. Michael grabbed her by the shoulders, as she punched his chest, trying to get away from him. Maria and Kyle stood by, watching helplessly.
“He’s in trouble,” she gasped out. She met Maria’s eyes riotously. “I need to be with him. He needs me.”
Michael’s eyes softened. “Liz, calm down, okay?”
“I can’t, something happened just now, I know it! I dreamed - ”
Before she could finish, Max stumbled into the door.
Michael’s eyes raised towards Max, who was walking into the room. He looked disoriented, shocked... and broken. He opened his mouth to ask him what was wrong, but couldn’t. He didn’t even glance at him as he, instead, leaned on the wall next to the door, speechless.
“Max?” Kyle asked with concern.
Something crashed inside of Liz. She had felt so many things for Max Evans, from tender adoration to intense disdain to nostalgic affection. Seeing him so utterly broken made something inside of her twist. Her heart constricted as Max slid down to the floor, knees close to his chest as he stared idly at the wall in front of him.
The four of them heard the swish of the door, and both turned to see Tess, eyes wild and wounded.
Max instantly got to his feet. The years, the distance, it all seemed to wither away as relief washed over him, walking towards Tess and crushing her to him, engulfing her small, elfin-like body whole.
Kyle turned away uncomfortably, jaw set into a tight line.
“He’s gone,” Max said softly, burying his face on Tess’ shoulder as she clung to Max tightly, already knowing what he meant before he even clarified. She sighed into him, hands meeting at the end of his waist, tears burning into her eyes.
“Max?” Michael asked hesitantly, reaching to put an uncertain hand on his best friend’s shoulder..
Max’s eyes met Liz’s with tortured ache, still holding on to Tess. He sighed, exhausted, years that he hadn’t lived marring his eyes. “He’s gone, Michael. They took my son.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
-
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Sat Jul 24, 2004 6:13 pm
- Location: Somewhere I have never traveled, gladly beyond any experience
- Contact:
A/N: I can't really apologize for the time that I took to get this out. There are other priorities that I must take care of, and I'm deeply grateful to those that have stayed faithful to this story. I don't blame your frustration and impatience, in fact, I'm really sorry that I haven't been able to update as frequently as I like. The story will always go on, and I'll always try as fast as possible. So here's the next installment, and now I'm always thankful for your reviews. Without them, this story would have not continued. I also wanted to thank my former beta, Laura (burning chaos). . She and I must have talked of this storyline for days. And now it is here. This is for her, for Calinia, Lyra, Petal, for every other person who has helped with the story.
Steal Your Pain~Empty Chairs~
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Phantom faces at the window.
Phantom shadows on the floor.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.
Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me
What your sacrifice was for
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will sing no more.
~Les Miserables
There are things that you just know.
Almost as if they had been implanted in the deep recesses of a newborn’s mind. You have one birthday through the year. To purchase an item, you had to make line. The earth revolves around the sun. You fall down and you will scrape your knee. Romeo and Juliet were stupid and not romantic. You jump over a building and you will not fly.
And yet, emotions such as grief and acceptance were the kind Alex Whitman had not yet learned to grasp, ever since his return. They were foreign to him now, like small pins and needles that pricked at him and he still did not know why.
Why someone in their right minds would steal a small, helpless, defenseless child was beyond Alex’s scope of reason, scope of understanding. Yes, Zan was special - was anyone really aware of that? Didn’t the truth of Max’s real history die along with Pierce and his accomplices?
He bowed his head, sitting next to Isabel. She was on the swing of their porch, a quilt around her. Alex knew the quilt had been knitted by her great-grandmother, had been passed through generations of Evans women, and Isabel had always kept it close to her heart because it made her feel attached to Diane by blood. Alex knew this because he knew Isabel.
For what seemed like a long amoung of time, Alex and Isabel did not say a word. It had been so long since they could just enjoy each other’s peace.
Deep sadness swept along Isabel’s face. The pain in her eyes was so intense, it almost bled into him with the wind. He wanted to tell her that she could lean on him, use him as refuge, because he loved her without measure. But he didn’t know how to say anything anymore.
“It was all a waste,” he began, and Isabel knew he was speaking of Antar. She had been prodding him to talk about it, and he chose this night of all nights to begin unleashing his torment. “I can’t remember how many were wounded, how many I killed. I wanted to prove something Isabel, to Khivar, for the Rebellion, I wanted to be an honorable man, worthy of the position I was given. They knew I was your boyfriend, knew I was Max’s friend, that gave me a higher ranking where war was concerned. We grow up watching movies and heroes. Thinking it is noble, brave.”
Isabel showed him her hands, rested them in his lap and he frowned in confusion.
She smiled sadly, a wisdom not of age, but of soul. A girl who was clearly torn, clearly different, had seen far more then she had to. “When I was being cold to you, pushing you away... you still stood in front of me. Showed me a human kind of world, made me a part of it, made me laugh. You offered me your hand because you knew I needed it, I needed someone to hold on to. Do you remember that, Alex?” she asked softly.
He nodded quietly.
“You offered me your hands, Alex, offered yourself so I could lean on you. Right now... my burden is too strong, my pain is too deep and I can’t be that kind of soundboard that you need. I have tried so many times to connect with Zan and he won’t let me, or I can’t to where he is, all I can sense is... he’s so scared, Alex, and I don’t know where he is. And all of this, with what’s happening to you... I can’t be your strength.”
Her shoulders were sagged. Concern, doubt, fear. The moment was so thick, so full of emotions, it was defeaning. “But maybe we can lean on each other,” she declared, as he hesitantly rested his hands in hers, and she clasped them tighter together, smiling at him reassuringly.
He beckoned her closer, lips brushing her closed eyelids tenderly, before resting them in her neck. “I love you, Izzie,” he murmured against her skin.
Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes staring at him with continuing surprise. He pulled her to a hug, and she fell into him easily, as if she had been designed to mold with him. “Alex?” she asked softly, lips grazing the lower side of his neck.
He tried not to shiver.
“Yeah?” he asked, breath uneven, causing her own inner turmoil when it swooshed in her ear.
“I love you, too,” she answered, every word tickling the sensitive spot in his skin. He stared at her in awe, could not understand why he hadn’t giving into it sooner.
He gave her a smile, it warmed her senses and curled her toes.
It gave her hope.
~*~*~*~
Kyle walked towards Tess, pausing slightly when he saw her. Her blonde hair was out of its neat barette. She was crouched on the floor, her face crumbled when she saw him, tears in her eyes. She turned just barely, didn’t really even look at him.
A broken, very large picture frame was lying on the floor, the shreds of glass around her. She seemed to be focused on that, the glass in front of her, as Kyle faintly saw the rise and fall of her chest. It was the only sign that she was alive at all.
“Tess?” he asked, full of uncertainty. Everyone seemed to be active, finding clues and calling everyone they could think of to find Zan. Tess, however, seemed to have fallen apart and entered to the dark corner of her mind that she had been when she returned, mute and empty.
She quickly wiped the tear from her eye. “Um...” she swallowed, “I just need to clean this up.”
“What happened?” Kyle asked softly, eyes falling to the picture that had left the frame. It was of Max, Tess, and Zan. She was holding him, lips resting on Zan’s forehead.
“I - I just... it fell.”
“Tess - ”
His eyes moved towards her hands, which were bleeding, shakily picking the glass before putting it in the small bin next to her. Kyle saw her lip quiver.
“I need to clean this up, okay Kyle?”
“You’re not alone, Tess.”
She shifted, and Kyle noticed her flinch. His eyes traveled to her knees, as glass had also deepend inside of her flesh. “We’ll clean this up later, okay?”
“Can you please just leave?” she asked softly, embarrassment and sadness coloring her pink cheeks as her hands continued to have a life of their own, trembling and going against her wishes.
“I can’t,” Kyle replied, just as quiet.
She closed her eyes. Her head turned upward to meet his, cheeks already warm with tears.
“I - I don’t k-know w-w-what to do,” she tried to say, the words choking at her.
“Come here,” he whispered softly, arms moving to encirle her small, elfin body whole. He stared at her helplessly. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel worse. He wasn’t sure how to comfort someone who was clearly so broken, had never known what it was like to have a child missing. “Tess…”
He saw the dark red blood clash with her pale, porcelain-like skin, and he knew he would never like her in thar color.
Tess didn’t answer, only let herself be pulled. She looked disoriented, shocked. Kyle grabbed at her hands gently, slowly lifting her back up.
Kyle tried hiding his rattled bewilderment, his boiling anger, his helpless despair - whoever had Zan, wherever he was, how on earth could they find him?
He led her up the stairs and into the bathroom. He studied her hands once more, holding them in his. He kept her steady, rasing her and sitting her on top of the sink. He let the cool water in the faucet pour into her hands, grimacing when he felt Tess flinch painfully beside him.
His touch was gentle, soft, and filled with affection. He managed to take out the small glass encrusted in her hand.
Her shoulders began to shake. She couldn’t see. A cloud of tears were forming in her eyes and they fell heavily. Hot, thick tears painfully sliding past her cheeks as she stared at the bleeding hands in front of her. As memories floated about in her mind.
“Kyle?”
“Yeah?”
“He likes ice cream,” Tess finally said, surprising them both by laughing a little. “Every time the cold hits his mouth he starts giggling like crazy. It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.”
What on earth could he say to that?
“We’ll get him back, Tess. I promise.”
Tess turned to him, already crying. “He’s so scared. I can feel it. He doesn’t know why we aren’t there with him. God, Kyle, I just got him back. I need... I need to be with him.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
A year ago, Liz had been sure that she and Max would some day marry. Almost as sure as she would grow old with him, have maybe two kids, a white-picked fenced house, and also a dog.
It was times like these, like walking towards Max’s house, when the feeling would plague her, when she would remember how deeply she had cared for the golden-eyed boy. He had tilted towards the center of her world, she would have killed for him.
She had rationalized his change in behavior, had wanted it to be something other then her fault. Because maybe if she hadn’t left for Florida, maybe if she hadn’t been so selfish and had helped him after the White Room ordeal, things would have been different. They probably wouldn’t be together, but they wouldn’t have ended up in this situation.
Then again, Zan wouldn’t have been born.
And at that moment, she closed her eyes and all she could see was Max, sitting on a chair, hanging up the phone, hopeless pain dulled into his eyes.
She hesitantly walked towards him, passed by Michael and Maria and to Max, so still to the world and to the chaos around him. Oblivious to it all.
“Max?” she asked softly, kneeling on the floor and looking up at his tear-filled eyes.
Finally, he spoke. “You came.”
“Of course I did,” she said softly.
“I... I called everyone we know. I... I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “Valenti’s running out of leads as well.”
Liz sighed. “I...” she paused, hesitating. “I tried sleepwalking, tried connecting with him like I did you, remember, in New York? And... I’m sorry, Max.”
He nodded miserably. “Me too.”
She snaked her hand on top of his, remembering that this was the young man who had saved her life, who had loved her with everything he had. He was still the boy that had healed Fred the Frog in the second grade, who had shown her an entirely different world from the one that she had ordinarily lived in. She needed to help him now. She needed to be there, to help him find his son. If only because despite what they had gone through, the anger, the relationship, the pettiness... once, along time ago, before all of it... they were friends.
“We’ll find him, Max,” Liz said with determination.
His eyes were downcast, glued to the floor.
“I can’t - I can’t lead anymore, Liz,” he breathed shakily. His head was bent, his lungs finding it hard to breathe. “I can’t lead.”
She repositioned herself, shaking him stealthily. “Yes, you can. This is your son. If there is anyone who has the strength and the will to find him, it’s you. We are all behind you, Max. We will all do this together. Like we once were before. Find it in yourself. I know that you can, Max.”
He gave her a small smile, nodding.
“Did I ever tell you when I was younger I was scared of the dark?” she asked softly.
Max shook his head.
“I was,” she informed him. “Kind of silly, now that I think about it. But it was really a phobia. I’d have panic attacks and everything. And the thing is, I couldn’t face why. The answer, it made me freeze with fear. It suffocated me, but sooner or later I had to accept it.”
“Why were you so scared?” he whispered.
“I guess because...” her voice trailed, as it tightened, coiled around her as it came out hoarse, and a little broken. “Because when I’m in the dark I feel like I’m alone. And that’s my biggest fear, in this world. That we are all alone. That we are all just... just shadows around us.”
His jaw clenched, his free hand balled into a tight, unyielding fist. He didn’t want to feel this sadness.
“But I was wrong,” Liz whispered painfully. She could see the quiet tenderness shining in his eyes, the brutal truth he now carried within him. “Max, I once told you that you put the whole weight on your shoulders. That you had to have faith in the people around you. And you can, Max. I swear. Because you don’t have to be alone, and you don’t have to carry anything by yourself. Michael, Maria, Isabel, Tess... we... we can carry each other, you know?”
“Thank you, Liz,” he whispered, quietly, so quietly she barely heard it.
She smiled at him confidently, more sure of this then anything. They would find his son.
~*~*~*~*~
Liz sighed, as the exhaustion wouldn’t leave her. Settling the keys into her nighstand, she rubbed her eyes in distraction. The night had stretched into long hours, the planning, the arguing, the worrying, it had torn her of all energy.
Something crashed inside of her as she listened to hushed voices coming from the room Ava and Maxie had been rooming in before they left. Summing it up to sleep-deprived hallucinations, Liz curled herself in fetal position, her head resting on the pillow as she stared outside of her window listlessly, she felt an impotence she couldn’t explain. They used to be able to solve any problem - they went up against Topolski, against Whittaker, against Pierce, against Nasedo. How was it they couldn’t find Zan? What measures were being done so they couldn’t find him.
More hushed voices, growing louder.
Liz sat up abruptly. Now she was sure they weren’t hallucinations. Holding her arms in defensive stance, she moved out to the hallway, walking towards the room that had been vacant. She hadn’t been able to go inside it, for fear of missing things too much, missing people too much, of conjuring up vague memories and a faded I love you.
Her eyes must be betraying her. Or she had taken some very nice colorful substances without her knowledge. Because certainly, Ava couldn’t be sitting at the edge of the bed, Alec resting on it as she stared at him with worry.
“Ava?” Liz whispered harshly.
The blonde turned to look at her, something close to relief shining in her usual guarded eyes.
“Cornball, I’m so sorry for coming here, again, and with this dick that just walked away from ya...”
“Hey,” Alec protested feebly, groaning as he clutched at his stomach.
Terror filled Liz as she moved towards him, finally noticing his state. “Oh my god,” she whispered, fingers hesitantly moving to Alec’s cheek, the wounded purple skin.
“Who would do this to him?” Liz asked with genuine confusion, though she really didn’t need to ask. Alec had told her of Manticore, of the people after him. But the innocent part of her couldn’t compute this as truth couldn’t imagine someone as real as her inflicting that kind of damage to someone else.
And, once again, Liz found herself asking, Was this what Max went through? What Alex went through?
“I promised...” Ava shuddered. “I promised him I’d bring him to you“
Liz sat still. “Alec,” she breathed. He looked so broken, so hurt. She had always been in awe of him, the cockiness, the bravery the need to make a different. Now he lay battered, bruised, weary...
“Liz...” he managed to say. “We have to help him.”
“Who?” Liz asked, leaning further, her face inches from his.
“I know where Zan is.”
Steal Your Pain~Empty Chairs~
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Phantom faces at the window.
Phantom shadows on the floor.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.
Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me
What your sacrifice was for
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will sing no more.
~Les Miserables
There are things that you just know.
Almost as if they had been implanted in the deep recesses of a newborn’s mind. You have one birthday through the year. To purchase an item, you had to make line. The earth revolves around the sun. You fall down and you will scrape your knee. Romeo and Juliet were stupid and not romantic. You jump over a building and you will not fly.
And yet, emotions such as grief and acceptance were the kind Alex Whitman had not yet learned to grasp, ever since his return. They were foreign to him now, like small pins and needles that pricked at him and he still did not know why.
Why someone in their right minds would steal a small, helpless, defenseless child was beyond Alex’s scope of reason, scope of understanding. Yes, Zan was special - was anyone really aware of that? Didn’t the truth of Max’s real history die along with Pierce and his accomplices?
He bowed his head, sitting next to Isabel. She was on the swing of their porch, a quilt around her. Alex knew the quilt had been knitted by her great-grandmother, had been passed through generations of Evans women, and Isabel had always kept it close to her heart because it made her feel attached to Diane by blood. Alex knew this because he knew Isabel.
For what seemed like a long amoung of time, Alex and Isabel did not say a word. It had been so long since they could just enjoy each other’s peace.
Deep sadness swept along Isabel’s face. The pain in her eyes was so intense, it almost bled into him with the wind. He wanted to tell her that she could lean on him, use him as refuge, because he loved her without measure. But he didn’t know how to say anything anymore.
“It was all a waste,” he began, and Isabel knew he was speaking of Antar. She had been prodding him to talk about it, and he chose this night of all nights to begin unleashing his torment. “I can’t remember how many were wounded, how many I killed. I wanted to prove something Isabel, to Khivar, for the Rebellion, I wanted to be an honorable man, worthy of the position I was given. They knew I was your boyfriend, knew I was Max’s friend, that gave me a higher ranking where war was concerned. We grow up watching movies and heroes. Thinking it is noble, brave.”
Isabel showed him her hands, rested them in his lap and he frowned in confusion.
She smiled sadly, a wisdom not of age, but of soul. A girl who was clearly torn, clearly different, had seen far more then she had to. “When I was being cold to you, pushing you away... you still stood in front of me. Showed me a human kind of world, made me a part of it, made me laugh. You offered me your hand because you knew I needed it, I needed someone to hold on to. Do you remember that, Alex?” she asked softly.
He nodded quietly.
“You offered me your hands, Alex, offered yourself so I could lean on you. Right now... my burden is too strong, my pain is too deep and I can’t be that kind of soundboard that you need. I have tried so many times to connect with Zan and he won’t let me, or I can’t to where he is, all I can sense is... he’s so scared, Alex, and I don’t know where he is. And all of this, with what’s happening to you... I can’t be your strength.”
Her shoulders were sagged. Concern, doubt, fear. The moment was so thick, so full of emotions, it was defeaning. “But maybe we can lean on each other,” she declared, as he hesitantly rested his hands in hers, and she clasped them tighter together, smiling at him reassuringly.
He beckoned her closer, lips brushing her closed eyelids tenderly, before resting them in her neck. “I love you, Izzie,” he murmured against her skin.
Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes staring at him with continuing surprise. He pulled her to a hug, and she fell into him easily, as if she had been designed to mold with him. “Alex?” she asked softly, lips grazing the lower side of his neck.
He tried not to shiver.
“Yeah?” he asked, breath uneven, causing her own inner turmoil when it swooshed in her ear.
“I love you, too,” she answered, every word tickling the sensitive spot in his skin. He stared at her in awe, could not understand why he hadn’t giving into it sooner.
He gave her a smile, it warmed her senses and curled her toes.
It gave her hope.
~*~*~*~
Kyle walked towards Tess, pausing slightly when he saw her. Her blonde hair was out of its neat barette. She was crouched on the floor, her face crumbled when she saw him, tears in her eyes. She turned just barely, didn’t really even look at him.
A broken, very large picture frame was lying on the floor, the shreds of glass around her. She seemed to be focused on that, the glass in front of her, as Kyle faintly saw the rise and fall of her chest. It was the only sign that she was alive at all.
“Tess?” he asked, full of uncertainty. Everyone seemed to be active, finding clues and calling everyone they could think of to find Zan. Tess, however, seemed to have fallen apart and entered to the dark corner of her mind that she had been when she returned, mute and empty.
She quickly wiped the tear from her eye. “Um...” she swallowed, “I just need to clean this up.”
“What happened?” Kyle asked softly, eyes falling to the picture that had left the frame. It was of Max, Tess, and Zan. She was holding him, lips resting on Zan’s forehead.
“I - I just... it fell.”
“Tess - ”
His eyes moved towards her hands, which were bleeding, shakily picking the glass before putting it in the small bin next to her. Kyle saw her lip quiver.
“I need to clean this up, okay Kyle?”
“You’re not alone, Tess.”
She shifted, and Kyle noticed her flinch. His eyes traveled to her knees, as glass had also deepend inside of her flesh. “We’ll clean this up later, okay?”
“Can you please just leave?” she asked softly, embarrassment and sadness coloring her pink cheeks as her hands continued to have a life of their own, trembling and going against her wishes.
“I can’t,” Kyle replied, just as quiet.
She closed her eyes. Her head turned upward to meet his, cheeks already warm with tears.
“I - I don’t k-know w-w-what to do,” she tried to say, the words choking at her.
“Come here,” he whispered softly, arms moving to encirle her small, elfin body whole. He stared at her helplessly. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel worse. He wasn’t sure how to comfort someone who was clearly so broken, had never known what it was like to have a child missing. “Tess…”
He saw the dark red blood clash with her pale, porcelain-like skin, and he knew he would never like her in thar color.
Tess didn’t answer, only let herself be pulled. She looked disoriented, shocked. Kyle grabbed at her hands gently, slowly lifting her back up.
Kyle tried hiding his rattled bewilderment, his boiling anger, his helpless despair - whoever had Zan, wherever he was, how on earth could they find him?
He led her up the stairs and into the bathroom. He studied her hands once more, holding them in his. He kept her steady, rasing her and sitting her on top of the sink. He let the cool water in the faucet pour into her hands, grimacing when he felt Tess flinch painfully beside him.
His touch was gentle, soft, and filled with affection. He managed to take out the small glass encrusted in her hand.
Her shoulders began to shake. She couldn’t see. A cloud of tears were forming in her eyes and they fell heavily. Hot, thick tears painfully sliding past her cheeks as she stared at the bleeding hands in front of her. As memories floated about in her mind.
“Kyle?”
“Yeah?”
“He likes ice cream,” Tess finally said, surprising them both by laughing a little. “Every time the cold hits his mouth he starts giggling like crazy. It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.”
What on earth could he say to that?
“We’ll get him back, Tess. I promise.”
Tess turned to him, already crying. “He’s so scared. I can feel it. He doesn’t know why we aren’t there with him. God, Kyle, I just got him back. I need... I need to be with him.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
A year ago, Liz had been sure that she and Max would some day marry. Almost as sure as she would grow old with him, have maybe two kids, a white-picked fenced house, and also a dog.
It was times like these, like walking towards Max’s house, when the feeling would plague her, when she would remember how deeply she had cared for the golden-eyed boy. He had tilted towards the center of her world, she would have killed for him.
She had rationalized his change in behavior, had wanted it to be something other then her fault. Because maybe if she hadn’t left for Florida, maybe if she hadn’t been so selfish and had helped him after the White Room ordeal, things would have been different. They probably wouldn’t be together, but they wouldn’t have ended up in this situation.
Then again, Zan wouldn’t have been born.
And at that moment, she closed her eyes and all she could see was Max, sitting on a chair, hanging up the phone, hopeless pain dulled into his eyes.
She hesitantly walked towards him, passed by Michael and Maria and to Max, so still to the world and to the chaos around him. Oblivious to it all.
“Max?” she asked softly, kneeling on the floor and looking up at his tear-filled eyes.
Finally, he spoke. “You came.”
“Of course I did,” she said softly.
“I... I called everyone we know. I... I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. “Valenti’s running out of leads as well.”
Liz sighed. “I...” she paused, hesitating. “I tried sleepwalking, tried connecting with him like I did you, remember, in New York? And... I’m sorry, Max.”
He nodded miserably. “Me too.”
She snaked her hand on top of his, remembering that this was the young man who had saved her life, who had loved her with everything he had. He was still the boy that had healed Fred the Frog in the second grade, who had shown her an entirely different world from the one that she had ordinarily lived in. She needed to help him now. She needed to be there, to help him find his son. If only because despite what they had gone through, the anger, the relationship, the pettiness... once, along time ago, before all of it... they were friends.
“We’ll find him, Max,” Liz said with determination.
His eyes were downcast, glued to the floor.
“I can’t - I can’t lead anymore, Liz,” he breathed shakily. His head was bent, his lungs finding it hard to breathe. “I can’t lead.”
She repositioned herself, shaking him stealthily. “Yes, you can. This is your son. If there is anyone who has the strength and the will to find him, it’s you. We are all behind you, Max. We will all do this together. Like we once were before. Find it in yourself. I know that you can, Max.”
He gave her a small smile, nodding.
“Did I ever tell you when I was younger I was scared of the dark?” she asked softly.
Max shook his head.
“I was,” she informed him. “Kind of silly, now that I think about it. But it was really a phobia. I’d have panic attacks and everything. And the thing is, I couldn’t face why. The answer, it made me freeze with fear. It suffocated me, but sooner or later I had to accept it.”
“Why were you so scared?” he whispered.
“I guess because...” her voice trailed, as it tightened, coiled around her as it came out hoarse, and a little broken. “Because when I’m in the dark I feel like I’m alone. And that’s my biggest fear, in this world. That we are all alone. That we are all just... just shadows around us.”
His jaw clenched, his free hand balled into a tight, unyielding fist. He didn’t want to feel this sadness.
“But I was wrong,” Liz whispered painfully. She could see the quiet tenderness shining in his eyes, the brutal truth he now carried within him. “Max, I once told you that you put the whole weight on your shoulders. That you had to have faith in the people around you. And you can, Max. I swear. Because you don’t have to be alone, and you don’t have to carry anything by yourself. Michael, Maria, Isabel, Tess... we... we can carry each other, you know?”
“Thank you, Liz,” he whispered, quietly, so quietly she barely heard it.
She smiled at him confidently, more sure of this then anything. They would find his son.
~*~*~*~*~
Liz sighed, as the exhaustion wouldn’t leave her. Settling the keys into her nighstand, she rubbed her eyes in distraction. The night had stretched into long hours, the planning, the arguing, the worrying, it had torn her of all energy.
Something crashed inside of her as she listened to hushed voices coming from the room Ava and Maxie had been rooming in before they left. Summing it up to sleep-deprived hallucinations, Liz curled herself in fetal position, her head resting on the pillow as she stared outside of her window listlessly, she felt an impotence she couldn’t explain. They used to be able to solve any problem - they went up against Topolski, against Whittaker, against Pierce, against Nasedo. How was it they couldn’t find Zan? What measures were being done so they couldn’t find him.
More hushed voices, growing louder.
Liz sat up abruptly. Now she was sure they weren’t hallucinations. Holding her arms in defensive stance, she moved out to the hallway, walking towards the room that had been vacant. She hadn’t been able to go inside it, for fear of missing things too much, missing people too much, of conjuring up vague memories and a faded I love you.
Her eyes must be betraying her. Or she had taken some very nice colorful substances without her knowledge. Because certainly, Ava couldn’t be sitting at the edge of the bed, Alec resting on it as she stared at him with worry.
“Ava?” Liz whispered harshly.
The blonde turned to look at her, something close to relief shining in her usual guarded eyes.
“Cornball, I’m so sorry for coming here, again, and with this dick that just walked away from ya...”
“Hey,” Alec protested feebly, groaning as he clutched at his stomach.
Terror filled Liz as she moved towards him, finally noticing his state. “Oh my god,” she whispered, fingers hesitantly moving to Alec’s cheek, the wounded purple skin.
“Who would do this to him?” Liz asked with genuine confusion, though she really didn’t need to ask. Alec had told her of Manticore, of the people after him. But the innocent part of her couldn’t compute this as truth couldn’t imagine someone as real as her inflicting that kind of damage to someone else.
And, once again, Liz found herself asking, Was this what Max went through? What Alex went through?
“I promised...” Ava shuddered. “I promised him I’d bring him to you“
Liz sat still. “Alec,” she breathed. He looked so broken, so hurt. She had always been in awe of him, the cockiness, the bravery the need to make a different. Now he lay battered, bruised, weary...
“Liz...” he managed to say. “We have to help him.”
“Who?” Liz asked, leaning further, her face inches from his.
“I know where Zan is.”
-
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Sat Jul 24, 2004 6:13 pm
- Location: Somewhere I have never traveled, gladly beyond any experience
- Contact:
CHAPTER #13
Four picture frames were lined up in Liz’s nightstand, all in perfect distance from one another. For the four years they had been in high school together, banal conversations and trivial occurences were something they had gone through, if you excluded the alien and trasgenic messes that had come to irritate Kyle Valenti.
Not that he regretted knowing the secrets to the universe, mind you. And, he admitted acceptingly, he liked what he called his nifty little powers. A world had opened up that he had never even dreamed of, and even if he had always been resentful that he had been included, he had long ago given up grudges. Bottom line was, if all of this hadn’t happened, he would have died - Liz would have died. Or maybe they wouldn’t have, and would have continued their ordinary existence.
Probably together.
This train of thought annoyed him most. He continued thinking of what might have been if Max Evans hadn’t saved her life that day. They had been dating, things had been going eerily perfect. Would they have continued being the high school couple? Would he have still been more or less a shallow jock? Would Liz have ever needed to meet Ava, which set off the chain of events that led her to meet Alec?
It was selfish thoughts, unkind thoughts. Because this had made him become who he was. And he could no longer hope the fate of the world rested in his Buddha. Maybe he no longer believed in anything.
Sitting on the edge of Liz’s bed, he drummed his fingers in his knee, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead imperiously.
His eyes half-widened when he saw Liz leaving the bathroom in nothing but lingerie, drying her long dark hair off with a towel. She stopped abruptly when she saw him, cleared her throat and crossed her arms. “Kyle! I didn’t know you’d gotten here,” she answered feebly, peering under her dark eyelashes.
“Oh. Um, I thought I’d just...” he paused, shaking his head with soft laughter. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before. In fact, a week prior to this, he had seen Liz in less and for a varied amount of time.
Liz bobbled her head nervously, giving a sigh. “Right.”
A neutral smile touched his features. “So...”
Liz’s eyes fell to the floor, the towel twisted painfully in her hands. “I don’t want us to be this weird around each other,” she said softly, stumbling on her words as she stood there uncertainly, trying to prove a point. Even before they had slept together, Kyle had seen her in a bra. Would they ever get back to that?
He sank back into the bed, the lines in his forehead raised in defeat. “I know. Me neither.”
A rueful expression shadowed her eyes as she hesitantly moved towards him, well aware that Alec was nearby, and feeling like the world’s worst person in the entire world - because who did this? Who put herself in this position, knowing it would hurt the two people that she loved more then anything? She was a wench. A slut. A selfish, greedy...
“Hussy?” Kyle offered.
Liz’s head snapped towards him. “What?”
“You have that look on your face,” Kyle informed her. “The one were you’re ragging on yourself to death. You’re thinking it’s not fair for me, or for the guy that’s currently sleeping like the living dead on the room across from this one. It’s not your fault.”
“But -”
“You and Alec broke up. It was hard for you. Just like it was hard for me to see Tess form a family with Max, and later seeing her go away. We loved other people, and we always loved each other. This incestuous-driven group of ours that’s always playing musical chairs - it really goes deeper then that. And whatever happens between me and Tess, even if you get back together with Alec... Liz, I’m always going to love you. I’m always going to want you,” Kyle said softly.
She was taken aback by his words, knew that she shouldn’t feel so gleeful by his admission. Her wanting to get back together with Alec, but inwardly growling every time Tess so much as neared Kyle... it wasn’t fair. She wasn’t being nice, she wasn’t being honorable, and when had Liz ever been like this? She had always known what she wanted, would never hurt two people because she was confused and... fickle.
Liz grimaced at the thought. Fickle. She was fickle. One minute Alec was the love of her life and the next she wanted to have sex with Kyle again. Maria would tell her that this was normal, because she was a red-blooded female and had hormones. She chose not to echo this sentiment.
Fearing he had said something wrong, Kyle’s face turned away. Liz, in turn, grabbed his hands. “Kyle... I’m always going to love you, too. And maybe that makes me the world’s most selfish person... but I can’t help how I feel,” she admitted miserably.
And, with a pang, she remembered that Alec hadn’t come to Roswell for her - he had expressed that clearly as she was healing all of his physical wounds. He still thought it was too dangerous, still believed the war for him wasn’t over. And she was tired. Tired of pleading, tired of begging him pathetically to take her back. And she was so tired, so tired of doing the right thing, so tired of loving someone who was pushing her away at every turn.
Her hand moved the hair from out of his face, before settling in his cheek. “Hey,” she said sweetly, “what’s wrong?”
His face leaned into her hand, shaking his head. “Nothing. I just missed you,” he answered quietly. “Missed this.”
Her smile wobbled, a small tug in her heart as his hands refamiliarized with her bare skin, trailed over her navel, resting low on her thigh. Her dainty hands caught the necklace around his neck, pulling him closer to her. She stopped breathing as his kiss deepened, tongue running over her bottom lip.
She arched towards him shamelessly, kissing him in the way that she always does, delicate and heartbreaking. His hands move to the back of her waist, drawing her closer, drawing her gently. He felt her body compressed entirely to his, and he touched the tip of her tongue with his.
His hands rested at her bare waist, his thumb playing with the lace of her underwear, before trailing all the way to her back. She moaned into his mouth.
Liz frowned at the small womanly gasp, aware it wasn’t her. Both of them parted away from each other, and she tried to see through her foggy daze.
Kyle’s eyes widened, as he straightened in guilt. “Ava...”
The blonde girl, who was currently sporting purple and light blue streaks, brushed off their embarrassed guilt and reached a hand to tuck her short hair behind her ear. “I was just... I just wanted to tell the cornball here that Alec’s konked out, and Maxie arrived.”
Liz cleared her throat, thankful Kyle was shielding her as she covered herself. This only made her feel worse. Because Ava had been in love with Kyle. And Ava was one of Alec’s closest friends. And there Liz was, half-naked and kissing Kyle as if her life depended on shoving her tongue down his throat. With Alec no more then two hundred feet away.
Worst human being ever, Liz repeated to herself. “I’ll just get dressed,” Liz licked her lips unconsciosly, wringing her hands in nervous cycle, “We can go to the quarry to meet Max and the others.”
Ava nodded, her voice cool and detached. “I’ll let you finish.”
Liz and Kyle snapped their heads towards her.
“Getting dressed, I mean,” Ava added, quietly closing the door.
Liz buried her face in her hands, and noticed Kyle inching away from her.
She was ruining everything.
~*~*~*~*~
When Kyle, Liz, Ava, and Maxie arrived, everyone else was already there - Max was standing in the highest rock, arms crossed and forever silent and strong. Tess was near him, sitting on a rock, clutching the jacket to her chest as the breeze knocked into her. Isabel and Alex were holding hands and standing behind Max, while Michael and Maria were approaching them.
Kyle chose to ignore the fact that Tess was staring at him, could not look at either of the queens of Antar. Ava, however, had other plans. She walked right up to Tess and the two eyed each other warily.
Apparently, Liz had already warned Ava, because she backed off and walked up to them again, not without gazing at Liz until the brunette had to look away awkwardly.
The tension had escalated, but Max was oblivious to anything but Maxie. He walked towards her in long strides, stared at her with such yearning hope that she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him - this was Max, and his son was missing. Maxie hadn’t seen a good side him the first time she had arrived at the small alien-filled town, but now he was broken, torn inside, and a baby’s life was in danger. So she remembered everything that Alec told her, and she would do him justice and bring down Ames White, along with Manticore, once and for all.
“What information do you have on my son?” Max asked, as he looked down beside him to see Tess was now there, looking at Maxie with equal hope.
“Alec was captured a few months back, and we went ballistic looking for him. They had taken good measures so that we wouldn’t find him, however - they would move him continuously from their bases, so that when we would finally get to one... he would be gone,” Maxie began, the words hard for her to say. “In one facility that he was put in, he met Lydia Chastity. She serves Ames White, and he’s... a really bad guy.
“They want to design the perfect soldier, in fact, that is their whole reason for existing - transgenic breeding. Ames White was in contact with Agent Pierce, something that a friend of mine named Logan can verify. He has found some of their conversations, most of the shooting at the Crashdown, and the time that you were in a White Room... that is similar to what happened to Alec,” Maxie enlightened, and Max’s eyes shone with newfound sympathy towards the man that he had never liked.
“Apparently, Pierce’s investigations didn’t die along with him. He had you continuously followed - most especially you two,” Maxie pointed to Tess and Max, “so when she got pregnant...”
Max’s eyes dawned with understanding. “That was why I was held in the laboratory - they weren’t just looking for proof of alien existence. They wanted to study what I was able to do, what an offspring of mine would be able to do.”
Maxie nodded emphatically. “Transgenic breeding is sometimes faulty - kind of what would happen if two cousins or two siblings would carry a child. Our make up is so similar that sometimes the DNA mutation shuts down. It can create monster-like creatures, with severe chemical imbalances. Other times they are given too much power and intelligence, and they end up working for themselves and not for Ames White’s purpose. It’s all a chain, Max. The fe’nos tol, Manticore, the FBI that was keeping tabs on you. There are recon sections of it that serve purely for this reason - they want the perfect genetic class to rule among men, machines that work at their disposal and reign the world - for them.”
“They have my son,” Max whispered fiercely.
“All I can say is they won’t do anything to him, not now. He’s too important, Max, and they need him intact. The war between the transgenics and Manticore, the personal battle that Alec and I have with White - I promise you I will get your son back to you. I’m leaving tonight, this is what I came to do, tell you all I know. I’m going back to fight. And when I’m done with them, they won’t even be a memory,” Maxie vowed darkly.
Max’s newfound respect for her multiplied. “I admire your certainty, but you can’t really believe that I’m going to let you walk into a war where my son is in the crossfire, and not join you in your fight?”
“Max...” she began.
“He’s right,” Michael said from behind him, resting his hand on Max’s shoulder as he usually did in sign of loyalty. “This isn’t just your fight anymore. It’s not just your kind that’s in danger. It’s ours as well.” His eyes softened as he stared at her with understanding. “We’re going with you, Maxie.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
The night was draped with few stars, and there was an unusual chill to the summer night. Liz, Maria, and Ava were walking along the sidewalk and towards the crashdown. And while Maria was chattering the night away, Liz couldn’t help biting her lip and staring at a Ava, whose silence was defeaning. They had always had an easy way of being, they had always fallen into their friendship effortlessly.
Ava halted once they had entered the quaint restaurant. “I’m going to go to sleep,” she muttered, quickly climbing the stairs.
Maria turned to Liz quizzically. “It’s eight o’ clock.”
Liz said nothing, and instead, moved towards the kitchens of the Crashdown.
Maria eyed her best friend critically. “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“The tension-filled exchange.”
Liz returned to the counters with a variety of different ice creams. Maria was momentarily distracted by all of the flavors she was sure to devour - at the critical point they were at, after all they had been through, Maria deserved the calories, damn it.
“It’s nothing,” Liz protested meekly.
“Did something happen?”
Liz shifted uncomfortably. “Sort of.”
“Huh.”
“What does that mean?”
“What does what mean?”
Liz and Maria both turned to look at Isabel walking into the diner, taking a seat next to Liz and grabbing a spoon of her own. The two smiled knowingly as the model-like blonde continued on her strawberry-flavored carton. They had, on occasion, often invited Isabel to their pigging out sessions, until one day they just didn’t need to invite her anymore. Some things were just tradition now.
Liz finally sighed deeply, opening and closing her mouth several times. “Ava caught me and Kyle in a compromising situation.”
Maria’s mouth dropped. “You were shagging again?”
Isabel stopped her spoon mid-way into her mouth. “Wait. I thought you and Kyle stopped doing the nasty.”
“Not very nasty, or so Liz says,” Maria teased.
“Guys!” Liz wailed, resting her forehead on the cool counter.
“We’re sorry,” Isabel grinned, not in the least apologetic.
“We’re not still sleeping together. It’s not like that. I just... Kyle was supposed to meet me, and we were going to go to the quarry together. I’d told him Ava was in town and he wanted to see her, Alec, Maxie. You know. And, well...”
“It’s about to get juicy,” Maria guessed.
Both she and Isabel leaned towards Liz.
“He was - and I walked in... I was wearing nothing but a bra and my underwear,” Liz admitted.
“Aha!” Maria snapped her fingers triumphantly. “I knew it. You guys did it. You totally did it. What was it this time, Lizzie? Two orgasms or three?”
“What?” Liz squeaked. “I told you it wasn’t like that! We both froze, and I sat down next to him, we were talking about how we didn’t want it to be hard for us to be friends again, we talked about Alec, and then...”
“Then what?” Isabel urged on.
“He said no matter who we were with respectively, he’d just always love me,” Liz whispered softly.
Isabel gave a little sigh, shaking her head. “Poor Kyle.”
“And then... I don’t know. After that, what could I say? We started kissing and... Ava walked in.”
Maria flinched. “Ouch.”
“Talk about bad timing,” Isabel agreed.
“I think it was good timing actually. Who knows what would have happened? And God, Alec was in a bed in the room next to mine, wounded and hurt and I’m... sticking my tongue down Kyle’s throat!”
“Sweetie? I love Alec,” Isabel declared. “I do. I really do. He must be like, the hottest guy known to man kind, I am your strongest cheerleader, I hope you get back together because I know you two are meant to be once he stops being a stubborn ass.”
“But?” Liz asked miserably.
“But he left you,” Isabel reminded her gently. “It was for honorable reasons and I admire him for loving you so much. But the fact of the matter is, one day he was there and then he was gone. You pined for so long, you tried everything you could to make him see he shouldn’t push you away. And he just didn’t, Liz. He knew what he had to do, and he wanted to keep you safe. This isn’t fair to him, it isn’t fair to anyone... but honestly, what would he have expected? He tells you goodbye, he says it’s probably forever, and what? You become a nun and never feel anything for anyone ever again?”
Maria was looking at Isabel with admiration. “Damn. You’re good.” Turning to Liz, she shook the spoon at the brunette. “And she’s right you know.”
Liz stilled looked uncertain.
“It’s not like you went and shagged a guy you met at a bar one night for the hell of it!” Isabel reminded her. “This is Kyle, your best friend Kyle. Who loves you and trusts you and has always had your back. He’s sweet, he’s cute, he’s fun, he’s loyal... who could resist?”
“Down there,” Liz warned.
Isabel shrugged her shoulders. “Sorry. Anyway, Alec wasn’t here, Liz. And though you tried, it didn’t seem like he had any desire to come back. You and Kyle made sense. It’s not wrong that you care about him.”
“Even if I love Alec?” Liz asked softly.
“It happens,” Isabel answered, just as softly. “They’re two different people, who are in two different places in your heart. When you’re with one you feel one thing, and with the other it’s the same all over again. That doesn’t mean it should continue - you either fully commit to Kyle and tell Alec the truth about your night activities, or you finally give Kyle the closure he needs - he’s never going to let you go unless you do.”
“See, I know you’re right. And in my mind, I know that’s what I have to do. It’s just not the same when you put it into action. If I could, I’d adopt some arab poligamy rule where I could keep both!” Liz admitted, hands on her face as Maria giggled. “And there are so much more important things on the line, so much more important than this.” She paused, a fierce ache in her heart burning to see him. “I’m gonna go check up on him,” she whispered softly, abruptly leaving the table as Isabel and Maria stared after her in concern.
She found him sitting on the bed, chest heaving and eyes haunted. He barely turned his head to look at her, for the first time in a long time.
“They’d play a little game with me. If I didn’t give them what they wanted, if I didn’t give them the information they needed about Maxie or the others they’d use methods of… torture. They’d hang me upside down from my feet and they’d…”
Liz swallowed hard, trying her best not to whimper. The sheer thought of Alec ever being tortured pierced at her very core. She felt physically nauseated. She flashed back to the images she’d caught from Lydia, and was once again revolted at the torment he’d endured at her hands. She had seen and for a moment felt each and every strike they’d placed upon him, numbing her to her very core. How could anyone that would do this be ever called human?
Alec staggered in his voice, taking shallow breaths. “They’d keep asking for information. Some days I just wished they’d kill me already, end it. They wouldn’t feed me for days or they would…” he gulped, “they’d shock me. For moments I really didn’t remember anything, who I was, what I was doing. Time was just this huge gap. And they’d always go back to… to the whip. Said it was the oldest form of torture. It was a punishment that they used for ‘fallen soldiers.’ ”
Tears streamed down her cheeks. He looked so vulnerable, so lost, his eyes searching into hers like that of a little boy’s who had just lost the thing he’d wanted more then anything in the world.
Liz put her hands firmly on his face. “Listen to me. Alec, listen to me. You’re safe here. They won’t hurt you, can’t hurt you anymore.”
Alec bit his lip, hating this display of weakness on his part. “I can’t-I can’t go back to sleep. I can’t close my eyes. Liz… I’m so tired.”
Liz put her hand on his cheek as he flinched, acting on reflex. “I’m not going to hurt you. Come here.”
He breathed a small sigh of relief.
“Okay. Close your eyes,” she instructed softly.
He hesitated, and Liz put her hands softly on his forehead, her touch soothing him in a way he knew only she could do as his eyelids suddenly felt heavy. She caressed his cheek and kissed his forehead. She leaned in closer and began to speak ever so softly. “Alec, do you remember the first time we ever got drunk together?”
Alec smiled and nodded.
Liz realized this was working, talking to him, making him focus on her soft voice. “Yeah. Those were the days, weren’t they? Maria and Michael at each other’s throats, Kyle always trying to get laid badly. And you, showing me a good time by taking me to that stupid bar. Remember what happened when I beat that four-hundred pound lady?”
The world stilled around them, everything slid into abandon as there is nothing but Liz, beautiful and ethereal. Alec actually laughed, his first real laugh in god knows how long. “Yeah. She tried taking away the money from your very hands. Then you proceeded to beat her back with your pool stick.”
“Hey, she was a thief!”
“Yeah, I suffered the consequences!” Alec teased. “If I remember correctly, she flung ME into a pole outside of the street. All because I had to defend your honor,” he added with mock annoyance.
Liz giggled softly, covering her mouth. “Yeah. But do you want to know one of my favorite memories, Alec? The first time you ever showed me how to ride a bike.” She passed a hand through his hair, gently stroking it while he relaxed. “We wagered riding lessons and of course you lost. I still don’t know up to this day if it was because you let me win, anyway. Do you remember our ride, Alec?”
Alec grinned devilishly. “I remember what we did after our ride.”
Liz nudged him. “Yeah. The first time we ever kissed. I’d never felt anything like that, not in my entire life. And it was so special to me, Alec. Every ride we ever took after that always got better. I loved feeling the wind, I loved the dangerous turns you always took. You’re supposed to go slower on them but you… you always went faster. I love you for that. I love you for so many other reasons. I’ll never leave you. Alec?”
No answer.
Liz noticed Alec falling fast asleep, his arm snaked around her waist. She kissed his forehead gently before positioning herself more comfortably, his head automatically falling into her shoulder as he spooned her back to his chest.
She bit her cheek inside, because she could feel her entire body begin to quiver as Alec’s words echoed in her brain. And she could not, would not cry. She had to be strong for Alec. She couldn’t just break because of what they did to him. She had actually thought she’d never see him again. One thing was for certain: she would walk through hell for this man. And she’d be damned if she would let them win and take Alec away from her, leave him traumatized with their evil. Alec was home now. His breath was finally rhythmical, and she knew without a doubt that he was finally asleep. She could feel his heart beat smoothly, calmly.
She wouldn’t fall asleep. Not because she couldn’t sleep. In fact, this was the most comfortable she’d been in what felt like forever. But because she needed to hold him, feel he was real. That was all Liz Parker wanted to do, all she asked of the heavens. To stay awake and just watch the man she loved as he breathed.
Four picture frames were lined up in Liz’s nightstand, all in perfect distance from one another. For the four years they had been in high school together, banal conversations and trivial occurences were something they had gone through, if you excluded the alien and trasgenic messes that had come to irritate Kyle Valenti.
Not that he regretted knowing the secrets to the universe, mind you. And, he admitted acceptingly, he liked what he called his nifty little powers. A world had opened up that he had never even dreamed of, and even if he had always been resentful that he had been included, he had long ago given up grudges. Bottom line was, if all of this hadn’t happened, he would have died - Liz would have died. Or maybe they wouldn’t have, and would have continued their ordinary existence.
Probably together.
This train of thought annoyed him most. He continued thinking of what might have been if Max Evans hadn’t saved her life that day. They had been dating, things had been going eerily perfect. Would they have continued being the high school couple? Would he have still been more or less a shallow jock? Would Liz have ever needed to meet Ava, which set off the chain of events that led her to meet Alec?
It was selfish thoughts, unkind thoughts. Because this had made him become who he was. And he could no longer hope the fate of the world rested in his Buddha. Maybe he no longer believed in anything.
Sitting on the edge of Liz’s bed, he drummed his fingers in his knee, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead imperiously.
His eyes half-widened when he saw Liz leaving the bathroom in nothing but lingerie, drying her long dark hair off with a towel. She stopped abruptly when she saw him, cleared her throat and crossed her arms. “Kyle! I didn’t know you’d gotten here,” she answered feebly, peering under her dark eyelashes.
“Oh. Um, I thought I’d just...” he paused, shaking his head with soft laughter. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before. In fact, a week prior to this, he had seen Liz in less and for a varied amount of time.
Liz bobbled her head nervously, giving a sigh. “Right.”
A neutral smile touched his features. “So...”
Liz’s eyes fell to the floor, the towel twisted painfully in her hands. “I don’t want us to be this weird around each other,” she said softly, stumbling on her words as she stood there uncertainly, trying to prove a point. Even before they had slept together, Kyle had seen her in a bra. Would they ever get back to that?
He sank back into the bed, the lines in his forehead raised in defeat. “I know. Me neither.”
A rueful expression shadowed her eyes as she hesitantly moved towards him, well aware that Alec was nearby, and feeling like the world’s worst person in the entire world - because who did this? Who put herself in this position, knowing it would hurt the two people that she loved more then anything? She was a wench. A slut. A selfish, greedy...
“Hussy?” Kyle offered.
Liz’s head snapped towards him. “What?”
“You have that look on your face,” Kyle informed her. “The one were you’re ragging on yourself to death. You’re thinking it’s not fair for me, or for the guy that’s currently sleeping like the living dead on the room across from this one. It’s not your fault.”
“But -”
“You and Alec broke up. It was hard for you. Just like it was hard for me to see Tess form a family with Max, and later seeing her go away. We loved other people, and we always loved each other. This incestuous-driven group of ours that’s always playing musical chairs - it really goes deeper then that. And whatever happens between me and Tess, even if you get back together with Alec... Liz, I’m always going to love you. I’m always going to want you,” Kyle said softly.
She was taken aback by his words, knew that she shouldn’t feel so gleeful by his admission. Her wanting to get back together with Alec, but inwardly growling every time Tess so much as neared Kyle... it wasn’t fair. She wasn’t being nice, she wasn’t being honorable, and when had Liz ever been like this? She had always known what she wanted, would never hurt two people because she was confused and... fickle.
Liz grimaced at the thought. Fickle. She was fickle. One minute Alec was the love of her life and the next she wanted to have sex with Kyle again. Maria would tell her that this was normal, because she was a red-blooded female and had hormones. She chose not to echo this sentiment.
Fearing he had said something wrong, Kyle’s face turned away. Liz, in turn, grabbed his hands. “Kyle... I’m always going to love you, too. And maybe that makes me the world’s most selfish person... but I can’t help how I feel,” she admitted miserably.
And, with a pang, she remembered that Alec hadn’t come to Roswell for her - he had expressed that clearly as she was healing all of his physical wounds. He still thought it was too dangerous, still believed the war for him wasn’t over. And she was tired. Tired of pleading, tired of begging him pathetically to take her back. And she was so tired, so tired of doing the right thing, so tired of loving someone who was pushing her away at every turn.
Her hand moved the hair from out of his face, before settling in his cheek. “Hey,” she said sweetly, “what’s wrong?”
His face leaned into her hand, shaking his head. “Nothing. I just missed you,” he answered quietly. “Missed this.”
Her smile wobbled, a small tug in her heart as his hands refamiliarized with her bare skin, trailed over her navel, resting low on her thigh. Her dainty hands caught the necklace around his neck, pulling him closer to her. She stopped breathing as his kiss deepened, tongue running over her bottom lip.
She arched towards him shamelessly, kissing him in the way that she always does, delicate and heartbreaking. His hands move to the back of her waist, drawing her closer, drawing her gently. He felt her body compressed entirely to his, and he touched the tip of her tongue with his.
His hands rested at her bare waist, his thumb playing with the lace of her underwear, before trailing all the way to her back. She moaned into his mouth.
Liz frowned at the small womanly gasp, aware it wasn’t her. Both of them parted away from each other, and she tried to see through her foggy daze.
Kyle’s eyes widened, as he straightened in guilt. “Ava...”
The blonde girl, who was currently sporting purple and light blue streaks, brushed off their embarrassed guilt and reached a hand to tuck her short hair behind her ear. “I was just... I just wanted to tell the cornball here that Alec’s konked out, and Maxie arrived.”
Liz cleared her throat, thankful Kyle was shielding her as she covered herself. This only made her feel worse. Because Ava had been in love with Kyle. And Ava was one of Alec’s closest friends. And there Liz was, half-naked and kissing Kyle as if her life depended on shoving her tongue down his throat. With Alec no more then two hundred feet away.
Worst human being ever, Liz repeated to herself. “I’ll just get dressed,” Liz licked her lips unconsciosly, wringing her hands in nervous cycle, “We can go to the quarry to meet Max and the others.”
Ava nodded, her voice cool and detached. “I’ll let you finish.”
Liz and Kyle snapped their heads towards her.
“Getting dressed, I mean,” Ava added, quietly closing the door.
Liz buried her face in her hands, and noticed Kyle inching away from her.
She was ruining everything.
~*~*~*~*~
When Kyle, Liz, Ava, and Maxie arrived, everyone else was already there - Max was standing in the highest rock, arms crossed and forever silent and strong. Tess was near him, sitting on a rock, clutching the jacket to her chest as the breeze knocked into her. Isabel and Alex were holding hands and standing behind Max, while Michael and Maria were approaching them.
Kyle chose to ignore the fact that Tess was staring at him, could not look at either of the queens of Antar. Ava, however, had other plans. She walked right up to Tess and the two eyed each other warily.
Apparently, Liz had already warned Ava, because she backed off and walked up to them again, not without gazing at Liz until the brunette had to look away awkwardly.
The tension had escalated, but Max was oblivious to anything but Maxie. He walked towards her in long strides, stared at her with such yearning hope that she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him - this was Max, and his son was missing. Maxie hadn’t seen a good side him the first time she had arrived at the small alien-filled town, but now he was broken, torn inside, and a baby’s life was in danger. So she remembered everything that Alec told her, and she would do him justice and bring down Ames White, along with Manticore, once and for all.
“What information do you have on my son?” Max asked, as he looked down beside him to see Tess was now there, looking at Maxie with equal hope.
“Alec was captured a few months back, and we went ballistic looking for him. They had taken good measures so that we wouldn’t find him, however - they would move him continuously from their bases, so that when we would finally get to one... he would be gone,” Maxie began, the words hard for her to say. “In one facility that he was put in, he met Lydia Chastity. She serves Ames White, and he’s... a really bad guy.
“They want to design the perfect soldier, in fact, that is their whole reason for existing - transgenic breeding. Ames White was in contact with Agent Pierce, something that a friend of mine named Logan can verify. He has found some of their conversations, most of the shooting at the Crashdown, and the time that you were in a White Room... that is similar to what happened to Alec,” Maxie enlightened, and Max’s eyes shone with newfound sympathy towards the man that he had never liked.
“Apparently, Pierce’s investigations didn’t die along with him. He had you continuously followed - most especially you two,” Maxie pointed to Tess and Max, “so when she got pregnant...”
Max’s eyes dawned with understanding. “That was why I was held in the laboratory - they weren’t just looking for proof of alien existence. They wanted to study what I was able to do, what an offspring of mine would be able to do.”
Maxie nodded emphatically. “Transgenic breeding is sometimes faulty - kind of what would happen if two cousins or two siblings would carry a child. Our make up is so similar that sometimes the DNA mutation shuts down. It can create monster-like creatures, with severe chemical imbalances. Other times they are given too much power and intelligence, and they end up working for themselves and not for Ames White’s purpose. It’s all a chain, Max. The fe’nos tol, Manticore, the FBI that was keeping tabs on you. There are recon sections of it that serve purely for this reason - they want the perfect genetic class to rule among men, machines that work at their disposal and reign the world - for them.”
“They have my son,” Max whispered fiercely.
“All I can say is they won’t do anything to him, not now. He’s too important, Max, and they need him intact. The war between the transgenics and Manticore, the personal battle that Alec and I have with White - I promise you I will get your son back to you. I’m leaving tonight, this is what I came to do, tell you all I know. I’m going back to fight. And when I’m done with them, they won’t even be a memory,” Maxie vowed darkly.
Max’s newfound respect for her multiplied. “I admire your certainty, but you can’t really believe that I’m going to let you walk into a war where my son is in the crossfire, and not join you in your fight?”
“Max...” she began.
“He’s right,” Michael said from behind him, resting his hand on Max’s shoulder as he usually did in sign of loyalty. “This isn’t just your fight anymore. It’s not just your kind that’s in danger. It’s ours as well.” His eyes softened as he stared at her with understanding. “We’re going with you, Maxie.”
~*~*~*~*~*~
The night was draped with few stars, and there was an unusual chill to the summer night. Liz, Maria, and Ava were walking along the sidewalk and towards the crashdown. And while Maria was chattering the night away, Liz couldn’t help biting her lip and staring at a Ava, whose silence was defeaning. They had always had an easy way of being, they had always fallen into their friendship effortlessly.
Ava halted once they had entered the quaint restaurant. “I’m going to go to sleep,” she muttered, quickly climbing the stairs.
Maria turned to Liz quizzically. “It’s eight o’ clock.”
Liz said nothing, and instead, moved towards the kitchens of the Crashdown.
Maria eyed her best friend critically. “What was that?”
“What was what?”
“The tension-filled exchange.”
Liz returned to the counters with a variety of different ice creams. Maria was momentarily distracted by all of the flavors she was sure to devour - at the critical point they were at, after all they had been through, Maria deserved the calories, damn it.
“It’s nothing,” Liz protested meekly.
“Did something happen?”
Liz shifted uncomfortably. “Sort of.”
“Huh.”
“What does that mean?”
“What does what mean?”
Liz and Maria both turned to look at Isabel walking into the diner, taking a seat next to Liz and grabbing a spoon of her own. The two smiled knowingly as the model-like blonde continued on her strawberry-flavored carton. They had, on occasion, often invited Isabel to their pigging out sessions, until one day they just didn’t need to invite her anymore. Some things were just tradition now.
Liz finally sighed deeply, opening and closing her mouth several times. “Ava caught me and Kyle in a compromising situation.”
Maria’s mouth dropped. “You were shagging again?”
Isabel stopped her spoon mid-way into her mouth. “Wait. I thought you and Kyle stopped doing the nasty.”
“Not very nasty, or so Liz says,” Maria teased.
“Guys!” Liz wailed, resting her forehead on the cool counter.
“We’re sorry,” Isabel grinned, not in the least apologetic.
“We’re not still sleeping together. It’s not like that. I just... Kyle was supposed to meet me, and we were going to go to the quarry together. I’d told him Ava was in town and he wanted to see her, Alec, Maxie. You know. And, well...”
“It’s about to get juicy,” Maria guessed.
Both she and Isabel leaned towards Liz.
“He was - and I walked in... I was wearing nothing but a bra and my underwear,” Liz admitted.
“Aha!” Maria snapped her fingers triumphantly. “I knew it. You guys did it. You totally did it. What was it this time, Lizzie? Two orgasms or three?”
“What?” Liz squeaked. “I told you it wasn’t like that! We both froze, and I sat down next to him, we were talking about how we didn’t want it to be hard for us to be friends again, we talked about Alec, and then...”
“Then what?” Isabel urged on.
“He said no matter who we were with respectively, he’d just always love me,” Liz whispered softly.
Isabel gave a little sigh, shaking her head. “Poor Kyle.”
“And then... I don’t know. After that, what could I say? We started kissing and... Ava walked in.”
Maria flinched. “Ouch.”
“Talk about bad timing,” Isabel agreed.
“I think it was good timing actually. Who knows what would have happened? And God, Alec was in a bed in the room next to mine, wounded and hurt and I’m... sticking my tongue down Kyle’s throat!”
“Sweetie? I love Alec,” Isabel declared. “I do. I really do. He must be like, the hottest guy known to man kind, I am your strongest cheerleader, I hope you get back together because I know you two are meant to be once he stops being a stubborn ass.”
“But?” Liz asked miserably.
“But he left you,” Isabel reminded her gently. “It was for honorable reasons and I admire him for loving you so much. But the fact of the matter is, one day he was there and then he was gone. You pined for so long, you tried everything you could to make him see he shouldn’t push you away. And he just didn’t, Liz. He knew what he had to do, and he wanted to keep you safe. This isn’t fair to him, it isn’t fair to anyone... but honestly, what would he have expected? He tells you goodbye, he says it’s probably forever, and what? You become a nun and never feel anything for anyone ever again?”
Maria was looking at Isabel with admiration. “Damn. You’re good.” Turning to Liz, she shook the spoon at the brunette. “And she’s right you know.”
Liz stilled looked uncertain.
“It’s not like you went and shagged a guy you met at a bar one night for the hell of it!” Isabel reminded her. “This is Kyle, your best friend Kyle. Who loves you and trusts you and has always had your back. He’s sweet, he’s cute, he’s fun, he’s loyal... who could resist?”
“Down there,” Liz warned.
Isabel shrugged her shoulders. “Sorry. Anyway, Alec wasn’t here, Liz. And though you tried, it didn’t seem like he had any desire to come back. You and Kyle made sense. It’s not wrong that you care about him.”
“Even if I love Alec?” Liz asked softly.
“It happens,” Isabel answered, just as softly. “They’re two different people, who are in two different places in your heart. When you’re with one you feel one thing, and with the other it’s the same all over again. That doesn’t mean it should continue - you either fully commit to Kyle and tell Alec the truth about your night activities, or you finally give Kyle the closure he needs - he’s never going to let you go unless you do.”
“See, I know you’re right. And in my mind, I know that’s what I have to do. It’s just not the same when you put it into action. If I could, I’d adopt some arab poligamy rule where I could keep both!” Liz admitted, hands on her face as Maria giggled. “And there are so much more important things on the line, so much more important than this.” She paused, a fierce ache in her heart burning to see him. “I’m gonna go check up on him,” she whispered softly, abruptly leaving the table as Isabel and Maria stared after her in concern.
She found him sitting on the bed, chest heaving and eyes haunted. He barely turned his head to look at her, for the first time in a long time.
“They’d play a little game with me. If I didn’t give them what they wanted, if I didn’t give them the information they needed about Maxie or the others they’d use methods of… torture. They’d hang me upside down from my feet and they’d…”
Liz swallowed hard, trying her best not to whimper. The sheer thought of Alec ever being tortured pierced at her very core. She felt physically nauseated. She flashed back to the images she’d caught from Lydia, and was once again revolted at the torment he’d endured at her hands. She had seen and for a moment felt each and every strike they’d placed upon him, numbing her to her very core. How could anyone that would do this be ever called human?
Alec staggered in his voice, taking shallow breaths. “They’d keep asking for information. Some days I just wished they’d kill me already, end it. They wouldn’t feed me for days or they would…” he gulped, “they’d shock me. For moments I really didn’t remember anything, who I was, what I was doing. Time was just this huge gap. And they’d always go back to… to the whip. Said it was the oldest form of torture. It was a punishment that they used for ‘fallen soldiers.’ ”
Tears streamed down her cheeks. He looked so vulnerable, so lost, his eyes searching into hers like that of a little boy’s who had just lost the thing he’d wanted more then anything in the world.
Liz put her hands firmly on his face. “Listen to me. Alec, listen to me. You’re safe here. They won’t hurt you, can’t hurt you anymore.”
Alec bit his lip, hating this display of weakness on his part. “I can’t-I can’t go back to sleep. I can’t close my eyes. Liz… I’m so tired.”
Liz put her hand on his cheek as he flinched, acting on reflex. “I’m not going to hurt you. Come here.”
He breathed a small sigh of relief.
“Okay. Close your eyes,” she instructed softly.
He hesitated, and Liz put her hands softly on his forehead, her touch soothing him in a way he knew only she could do as his eyelids suddenly felt heavy. She caressed his cheek and kissed his forehead. She leaned in closer and began to speak ever so softly. “Alec, do you remember the first time we ever got drunk together?”
Alec smiled and nodded.
Liz realized this was working, talking to him, making him focus on her soft voice. “Yeah. Those were the days, weren’t they? Maria and Michael at each other’s throats, Kyle always trying to get laid badly. And you, showing me a good time by taking me to that stupid bar. Remember what happened when I beat that four-hundred pound lady?”
The world stilled around them, everything slid into abandon as there is nothing but Liz, beautiful and ethereal. Alec actually laughed, his first real laugh in god knows how long. “Yeah. She tried taking away the money from your very hands. Then you proceeded to beat her back with your pool stick.”
“Hey, she was a thief!”
“Yeah, I suffered the consequences!” Alec teased. “If I remember correctly, she flung ME into a pole outside of the street. All because I had to defend your honor,” he added with mock annoyance.
Liz giggled softly, covering her mouth. “Yeah. But do you want to know one of my favorite memories, Alec? The first time you ever showed me how to ride a bike.” She passed a hand through his hair, gently stroking it while he relaxed. “We wagered riding lessons and of course you lost. I still don’t know up to this day if it was because you let me win, anyway. Do you remember our ride, Alec?”
Alec grinned devilishly. “I remember what we did after our ride.”
Liz nudged him. “Yeah. The first time we ever kissed. I’d never felt anything like that, not in my entire life. And it was so special to me, Alec. Every ride we ever took after that always got better. I loved feeling the wind, I loved the dangerous turns you always took. You’re supposed to go slower on them but you… you always went faster. I love you for that. I love you for so many other reasons. I’ll never leave you. Alec?”
No answer.
Liz noticed Alec falling fast asleep, his arm snaked around her waist. She kissed his forehead gently before positioning herself more comfortably, his head automatically falling into her shoulder as he spooned her back to his chest.
She bit her cheek inside, because she could feel her entire body begin to quiver as Alec’s words echoed in her brain. And she could not, would not cry. She had to be strong for Alec. She couldn’t just break because of what they did to him. She had actually thought she’d never see him again. One thing was for certain: she would walk through hell for this man. And she’d be damned if she would let them win and take Alec away from her, leave him traumatized with their evil. Alec was home now. His breath was finally rhythmical, and she knew without a doubt that he was finally asleep. She could feel his heart beat smoothly, calmly.
She wouldn’t fall asleep. Not because she couldn’t sleep. In fact, this was the most comfortable she’d been in what felt like forever. But because she needed to hold him, feel he was real. That was all Liz Parker wanted to do, all she asked of the heavens. To stay awake and just watch the man she loved as he breathed.
-
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Sat Jul 24, 2004 6:13 pm
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I'm glad you all want a sequel! I am writing it as we speak.
I was very hesitant about this chapter. I was always second guessing myself as I wrote it, seeing as how I didn't want to show the battle in itself, but I knew it had to be written. This chapter is very vague in that it doesn't show much, and I will elaborate on the next (meaning, more fight scenes and the characters' fate). I just wanted to finally get this out because it has been a long time since I updated.
It has a lot of nasty cliffhangers. Don't hate me. :D
*The quotes from thsi chapter are taken from Sun Tzu's Art of War.
CHAPTER #14
Alec made sure to scrub the last inch of dirt off his body. He couldn't even recall the last time he'd had a hot, long shower. His entire body was stiff.
Wrapping the towel around his waist, he opened the door and was not surprised to see Liz sitting down Indian style on her bed, perched silently as she stared outside the window, a faraway look in her eyes. The blank expression on her face worried him, and he wondered if he looked like that most of the time. "I'm sorry," he immediately rushed out, going over to sit next to her. "About last night. I had a freak out."
She shook her head, grabbing his hand and smiling at him. "Have as many as you need. Alec, I just want to help you. You don't have to be alone, and you don't have to carry anything by yourself. We... we can carry each other, you know?"
He was once again hit with how blessed he was, to have her in his life. Because she could carry him, they could carry each other. He believed in that, would always believe that. "
Only the two of them were in that room, and for a moment she thought of fleeing. It was far much easier to not deal with the magnitude of him, then having to look at his big eyes that had always really been too much for her to take, the intensity that she had once loved most about him also unnerved her… reminded her that he would never forgive her when she told him the truth about her and Kyle.
He'd grown stubble near his chin that crossed a shadow along his very handsome features, and not surprisingly, it looked sexy as hell.
Alec could almost feel her nerves, her fragile confidence balanced on a very thin line. He himself had not taken a breath. They seemed to have no idea as to what to do, being around each other once again. Months ago it would have been easy - months ago they were together.
Her voice was soft, and heartbreaking, and warbled with emotion. "Will you let me heal you?"
Alec would've preferred she wouldn't, but her eyes were shining with determination and she was looking at him with unmeasurable concern and pain. "Yes."
She could feel the surge of power begin to hum at the tips of her fingers, now nimble hands sought to tenderly place themselves on his chest.
The memories came almost all at once. The first time they laid eyes on each other, each astounded by the other's beauty. Their first kiss, the first time they made love, the certainty with which they always held each other, every beautiful word, every longing look, every painful moment ebbed together to conform part of the healing that they were experiencing.
She tried stopping the memories, flashes of her and Kyle that transferred towards Alec, but was unable to. Alec held on, kept the connection flaring and everything crashed inside of her as he saw, he saw...
Liz halted, swallowing hard as she looked up at him. The way he looked at her... he knew her, could draw the very soul out of her body if he wished.
Something clogged in his throat. Heavy air filled around him and he wanted this to be easier.
He wasn't saying anything, couldn't speak.
Scents and visions and emotions still felt as if they were scurrying past him in hazy speed, interlaced with silver and golden memories. Every one of them through a blurring glass, each more painful then the last.
He never thought he would feel so angry towards Liz. But he did.
And he wished, wished fiercely, that every kiss, every word, would erase from inside of his skin.
He wanted to shut it out of his mind. He wanted it gone, wanted it stripped from his soul. It had to <i>leave</i>. Because what he saw, Liz sleeping with someone else, and with Kyle.
Hot tears blur her eyes and agony clenched her heart.
Memories plague them both.
A pale leg entwined in a narrow waist.
His own warm palms against her flesh, lips traveling across an unexplored world of beauty.
Damp, chocolate hair spilling over his shoulder.
Her lips as broken prayer crushing his with tortured promise and wild sweetness.
A soft cry mingled with a devastating rhythm.
He wanted them gone. Because what did they mean to him if she had given herself to someone else?
"Please let me explain," she began with dread.
His eyes went vacant, the muscles in his face camouflaging into an expressionless stone. "I don't have time for this - we don't have time for this. We have to go," he answered flatly.
Liz blinked away the tears as she realized what happened.
Alec had shut down on her. She would never see his pain, would never hear him yell at her.
"Okay, lovebirds, it's time to get going," Maxie announced in sing-song, entering the room with her duffel bag.
Alec snarled in answer, and Maxie backed away instinctively. She turned to Liz, who bit her lip helplessly and apologetically. He was trying to unzip the bag in front of him, to no avail. His hands were shaking, and he tried to steady them and was frustrated to see that he couldn't. He inhaled a sharp, furious breath. "When are we leaving?" he asked mechanically, stowing shirts inside of the luggage.
"An hour, I think. Isabel and Kyle are the only ones left to get here," Maxie replied.
Alec tensed at Kyle's name - someone as observant as Maxie was bound to notice - but she let it slide. For now, there were more important things to do.
"Alec," Liz whispered softly, trying one more time.
"Not. Now," he said through clenched teeth.
Maxie was even more stupefied. Alec would never talk to Liz like that.
"What is going on here?" Maxie demanded.
"Nothing," Alec answered, resting the bag on his shoulder. "It's time to move."
~*~*~*~
She was bawling her eyes out.
Now, granted, Michael had recounted the past days, even went so far as to trace every one of his words and actions and was stumped. This time, he had done nothing to upset Maria. He hadn't been rude, he hadn't demeaned their relationship, he hadn't given her shampoo... he stressed out over things like these. Because knowing his girlfriend anything - it could literally be anything - bothering her.
She was holding his black boots. She really hated those black boots. Was it the fact he was taking them with him to Seattle that affected her? Perhaps it was that time of the month. Had she watched The Notebook again without his consent?
Good lord, what was it?
"Uh... Maria?" he asked, and later cringed at the sound of his voice.
He really hated crying females. Never knew what the hell to do with them.
"You love these boots," Maria replied. Her voice was hoarse and raspy, blonde hair no longer bouncy with her curls. He hadn't taken a good look at her, with everything going on in their lives, but her eyes were sunken and she looked so sad. He was taken aback by it, and was surprised to feel something twist in his gut.
He really hated when Maria cried. He never wanted her to cry.
"Yeah, but if you really hate them so damn much..." he let his voice trailing, kneeling in front of her. She was sitting on the edge of his rumpled bed, grabbing at the sheets to dry her eyes and wipe her sniffling nose. She had such a damn cute nose.
"It's not that, Michael!" she protested, almost in frustration, before she sighed and went back to her sniffling. "It's just... I don't want you to use take them. What if they get lost? What if... what if you get hurt using them? Michael I don't want you to use your favorite boots to do... do this," she finished, because she couldn't verbally express what they were about to do. They were about to go to war. They were about to fight their enemies. She was not naive enough to believe each and every one of them would come back, least of all without a scratch. She knew Michael could defend himself - but he was not up against humans. He was up against another breed, one he had no idea how they struck, and she was terrified.
"Maria," his eyes softened, looking up at her big eyes and cupping her cheek with his hands. "Don't be silly, nothing will happen to me or the boots."
"It's just..." she broke off, overwhelmed by a hiccup, "I've just tried to change you so much, I've ragged on you time and again to be a better boyfriend and..." she paused again, giving him a smile that broke his heart, "and we're the only ones still together, Michael. Everyone else is miserable or apart and you and me - we're still strong, you know?"
He cracked a half-grin, finally understanding where she was going with this. "Yeah. You and me."
"I just want you to know I don't want you to change, you're already more perfect then I could have ever hoped for. You've never left me, and I know I'm loved when I'm with you. I can't ask for more, Michael," she finished softly, urging him to stand with her as she wrapped her arms around his waist, closing her eyes as she dampened his shirt with her tears.
He really hated when she cried.
She didn't deserve this. She deserved normal.
"I love you, Michael," she whispered, holding on to him tighter.
"I love you, too."
It was only then she stopped crying.
~*~*~*~
The next day...
~*~*~*~
They had broken down in pairs.
Liz and Maxie. Michael and Alec. Max and Kyle. Alex and Tess. Ava and Isabel.
Each knew their designed purpose. Logan had drilled every small corner of the entire building, had made sure they knew what they were up against.
Maxie had always been nervous before she went on duty. She was now as designed as Alec, to be the perfect soldier. She had not his experience, or his confidence, no matter how hard of a bluster she tried to put on.
"Shit. Alec, I can't see a thing," Michael muttered, slowing down his pace as the sound of guards reached their ears. There were thick clouds below them, and fog surrounded them that dark night rain pouring along as the fire team that was Alec, Michael, Maxie, and Liz provided back up for Max, Kyle, and Isabel. Ava and Tess were prepared for their mind warping duties, they knew the amount of time they were to be there, knew the exact vent which would lead them to Zan.
Panic rose on Maxie's chest as they were closer to the fortress. The people who wanted her the most were in there, and she was about to face them.
It was time. She had to follow through.
~*~*~
Max raised his hand, electricity bolts slipping through the tips of his fingers as liquid. It spread as fast as wildfire, powerful enough to disarm two men, as they immediately crumpled to the floor the minute the energy charge reached their skin.
It was kill or be killed.
He had never been in this position.
But he was learning.
He was a king, and his son's life as at risk, and he could not weaken.
He would never get forgiveness for this.
But that was no longer his peril.
This was prolonging too much.
Was anyone winning?
His hand was held in front of him as a source of protection, and he and Kyle were ready to strike. Their minds had not been trained for this, but their instinct and survival was far greater.
And Max had learned.
He would never be wounded twice.
Every sound drowned out for Max as he heard a familiar cry.
~*~*~
Move not unless you see an advantage; use not your troops unless there is something to be gained; fight not unless the position is critical.
~*~*~
She shivered, tried her best to look through the darkness. But the lights were shut down - on purpose, Tess deduced - and she was left with nothing but her trembling fear.
Zan likes the color orange.
Zan's first word was milk.
Zan's birthday is October 5th.
She lets these thoughts slip through her head as she held Alex's hand tightly in her own, as the two stood still in a corner, their breaths held as steps circled around them.
She knew - she knew if they were caught- they were gone. And she was mentally drained from hiding all eight of them along with Ava, she had no more inside of her to control. She wanted to fall in a weak heap on the floor and sleep until there was nothing left to slumber, and the only thing that kept her going was her son.
Tess had to find Zan.
And as she weakened a guard's mind until he fell to the floor screaming, Tess knew she would die trying.
~*~*~*~
Know the enemy and know yourself; in a hundred battles you will never be in peril. When you are ignorant of the enemy, but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal. If ignorant both of your enemy and yourself, you are certain in every battle to be in peril.
~*~*~*~
Liz ran a shaky hand through her dark hair, as she - along with Maxie, Michael, and Alec - walked along the front corridor. She felt as Alec crept behind her, and she knew it was wrong, but she felt relieved to know he was there with her. That if anything happened, it would happen to the two of them. At least for now.
Soon she and Maxie would part ways with them, but she needed to hang on to him as long as she possibly could.
She briefly wondered if this would ever disperse from her memory. If she would ever grow out of the pain, shut it out of her and live her life as normally as she could.
Was normal even possible?
They were finally stuck at a crossroad, as the corridor now broke down into two different directions.
Maxie is already going to the left, and Michael is already treading to the right.
Liz held on to Alec's hand.
"Alec..." she swallowed the loud lump in her throat. "Remember... remember everything."
In answer, he cups her face in his hands and kisses her soundly.
He finally lets go of her hand, and he walks way from her and a part of her doesn't know if she'll see him again.
Remember, Alec.
"I will."
~*~*~*~*~
All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.
~*~*~*~*~
Someone grabbed at her from behind, hand balling into a fist in her hair, pushing her to the wall with force.
Liz gasped as she was met with the strength of her attacker's punch, bowled over in attempt to shield herself. She would appear harmless, she would appear to surrender.
And only then she would attack.
She could no longer be scared, mousy Liz Parker.
Liz raised her head, blood dripping from her lips as her eyes met with silvery gray.
The woman tucked a strand of fiery red hair behind her ears, tilting her head to assess Liz. "We finally meet."
Liz didn't need to be told.
She knew she was facing off with Lydia Chastity.
~*~*~*~*~
When the enemy is relaxed, make them toil. When full, starve them. When settled, make them move.
~*~*~*~*~
Panic rose in Alec's chest. He had long ago lost Michael, and was lost in the maze of the compound. Gun shots were setting off around him, bringing him back to reality as he tried snapping him out of his shock.
Everything was going wrong. Everything.
They knew they were coming. Of course they knew.
They had been waiting. Who else was trapped along with him? How on earth would he find his way back to the headquarters?
He had to find Liz. Instict, and his connection to her, tugged at Alec. He knew she was still inside along with him. Had known the minute their plan of attack had back fired.
His legs felt as if they had been chopped off, and a part of him wanted to rest his back on the wall and just let it be over. He had fought. And he was failing.
A flash of dark-colored hair brought a newfound surge of enerdy, and with what was left of his bruised body, he forced himself to crawl. He couldn't think of a part of his body that wasn't in acute pain, but he kept pushing himself through the burning building quickly with his elbows, unable to fully walk and already feeling what was to come. He didn't have time to look for Michael, because the cell they had been fighting in blew up in flames, leaving nothing but the flaring fire so close his face was burning. He hid his face in his arm, and the sound richocheted inside of his mind, dazing him into muted silence and frightful stillness.
He recognized Kyle through the clouds of smoke, and before he could make it to him, a high explosive blew up near him.
Ames White had prepared himself.
Alec immediately fell to the gorund in reflexive defense. After a few seconds of stilled silence, he began crawling over to Kyle, elbows crushing whatever was beneath them. He gripped the machine gun that had been lying only feet away from him. He could only hope they had all made it out of the building safely, and it was just him and Kyle.
Alec tensed, aiming at a blurry figure in uniform that moved towards Alec threateningly, shooting him in both legs. The man growled his pain, before falling to the ground on his knees, face-first in a melding of debris.
"Kyle!" Alec shouted, bringing his attention to him.
Kyle took notice of Alec, sighed in relief as he made his way to him. Alec was about to speak when a shot ran in the air.
Kyle felt hot compression in his body. Gasping for breath, he wobbled before falling, faintly hearing Alec yell his name. Kyle's hands clutched at the floor, teeth clenched to keep from yelping as he paled. Grunting in pain, he curled, his hand moving to his back where he felt liquid pooling. He hissed as he turned to his back, eyes shooting open in shock.
In stunned fascination, Kyle retrieved his hand, which was now covered in blood.
He was shot.
Visions blurred around him, familiar voices and a blonde girl he loved painfully in a field of dandelions merged in a crystal haze beneath his lids before everything began fading to black. Sounds were stifled by the own buzzing in his ears.
And then, nothing.
I was very hesitant about this chapter. I was always second guessing myself as I wrote it, seeing as how I didn't want to show the battle in itself, but I knew it had to be written. This chapter is very vague in that it doesn't show much, and I will elaborate on the next (meaning, more fight scenes and the characters' fate). I just wanted to finally get this out because it has been a long time since I updated.
It has a lot of nasty cliffhangers. Don't hate me. :D
*The quotes from thsi chapter are taken from Sun Tzu's Art of War.
CHAPTER #14
Alec made sure to scrub the last inch of dirt off his body. He couldn't even recall the last time he'd had a hot, long shower. His entire body was stiff.
Wrapping the towel around his waist, he opened the door and was not surprised to see Liz sitting down Indian style on her bed, perched silently as she stared outside the window, a faraway look in her eyes. The blank expression on her face worried him, and he wondered if he looked like that most of the time. "I'm sorry," he immediately rushed out, going over to sit next to her. "About last night. I had a freak out."
She shook her head, grabbing his hand and smiling at him. "Have as many as you need. Alec, I just want to help you. You don't have to be alone, and you don't have to carry anything by yourself. We... we can carry each other, you know?"
He was once again hit with how blessed he was, to have her in his life. Because she could carry him, they could carry each other. He believed in that, would always believe that. "
Only the two of them were in that room, and for a moment she thought of fleeing. It was far much easier to not deal with the magnitude of him, then having to look at his big eyes that had always really been too much for her to take, the intensity that she had once loved most about him also unnerved her… reminded her that he would never forgive her when she told him the truth about her and Kyle.
He'd grown stubble near his chin that crossed a shadow along his very handsome features, and not surprisingly, it looked sexy as hell.
Alec could almost feel her nerves, her fragile confidence balanced on a very thin line. He himself had not taken a breath. They seemed to have no idea as to what to do, being around each other once again. Months ago it would have been easy - months ago they were together.
Her voice was soft, and heartbreaking, and warbled with emotion. "Will you let me heal you?"
Alec would've preferred she wouldn't, but her eyes were shining with determination and she was looking at him with unmeasurable concern and pain. "Yes."
She could feel the surge of power begin to hum at the tips of her fingers, now nimble hands sought to tenderly place themselves on his chest.
The memories came almost all at once. The first time they laid eyes on each other, each astounded by the other's beauty. Their first kiss, the first time they made love, the certainty with which they always held each other, every beautiful word, every longing look, every painful moment ebbed together to conform part of the healing that they were experiencing.
She tried stopping the memories, flashes of her and Kyle that transferred towards Alec, but was unable to. Alec held on, kept the connection flaring and everything crashed inside of her as he saw, he saw...
Liz halted, swallowing hard as she looked up at him. The way he looked at her... he knew her, could draw the very soul out of her body if he wished.
Something clogged in his throat. Heavy air filled around him and he wanted this to be easier.
He wasn't saying anything, couldn't speak.
Scents and visions and emotions still felt as if they were scurrying past him in hazy speed, interlaced with silver and golden memories. Every one of them through a blurring glass, each more painful then the last.
He never thought he would feel so angry towards Liz. But he did.
And he wished, wished fiercely, that every kiss, every word, would erase from inside of his skin.
He wanted to shut it out of his mind. He wanted it gone, wanted it stripped from his soul. It had to <i>leave</i>. Because what he saw, Liz sleeping with someone else, and with Kyle.
Hot tears blur her eyes and agony clenched her heart.
Memories plague them both.
A pale leg entwined in a narrow waist.
His own warm palms against her flesh, lips traveling across an unexplored world of beauty.
Damp, chocolate hair spilling over his shoulder.
Her lips as broken prayer crushing his with tortured promise and wild sweetness.
A soft cry mingled with a devastating rhythm.
He wanted them gone. Because what did they mean to him if she had given herself to someone else?
"Please let me explain," she began with dread.
His eyes went vacant, the muscles in his face camouflaging into an expressionless stone. "I don't have time for this - we don't have time for this. We have to go," he answered flatly.
Liz blinked away the tears as she realized what happened.
Alec had shut down on her. She would never see his pain, would never hear him yell at her.
"Okay, lovebirds, it's time to get going," Maxie announced in sing-song, entering the room with her duffel bag.
Alec snarled in answer, and Maxie backed away instinctively. She turned to Liz, who bit her lip helplessly and apologetically. He was trying to unzip the bag in front of him, to no avail. His hands were shaking, and he tried to steady them and was frustrated to see that he couldn't. He inhaled a sharp, furious breath. "When are we leaving?" he asked mechanically, stowing shirts inside of the luggage.
"An hour, I think. Isabel and Kyle are the only ones left to get here," Maxie replied.
Alec tensed at Kyle's name - someone as observant as Maxie was bound to notice - but she let it slide. For now, there were more important things to do.
"Alec," Liz whispered softly, trying one more time.
"Not. Now," he said through clenched teeth.
Maxie was even more stupefied. Alec would never talk to Liz like that.
"What is going on here?" Maxie demanded.
"Nothing," Alec answered, resting the bag on his shoulder. "It's time to move."
~*~*~*~
She was bawling her eyes out.
Now, granted, Michael had recounted the past days, even went so far as to trace every one of his words and actions and was stumped. This time, he had done nothing to upset Maria. He hadn't been rude, he hadn't demeaned their relationship, he hadn't given her shampoo... he stressed out over things like these. Because knowing his girlfriend anything - it could literally be anything - bothering her.
She was holding his black boots. She really hated those black boots. Was it the fact he was taking them with him to Seattle that affected her? Perhaps it was that time of the month. Had she watched The Notebook again without his consent?
Good lord, what was it?
"Uh... Maria?" he asked, and later cringed at the sound of his voice.
He really hated crying females. Never knew what the hell to do with them.
"You love these boots," Maria replied. Her voice was hoarse and raspy, blonde hair no longer bouncy with her curls. He hadn't taken a good look at her, with everything going on in their lives, but her eyes were sunken and she looked so sad. He was taken aback by it, and was surprised to feel something twist in his gut.
He really hated when Maria cried. He never wanted her to cry.
"Yeah, but if you really hate them so damn much..." he let his voice trailing, kneeling in front of her. She was sitting on the edge of his rumpled bed, grabbing at the sheets to dry her eyes and wipe her sniffling nose. She had such a damn cute nose.
"It's not that, Michael!" she protested, almost in frustration, before she sighed and went back to her sniffling. "It's just... I don't want you to use take them. What if they get lost? What if... what if you get hurt using them? Michael I don't want you to use your favorite boots to do... do this," she finished, because she couldn't verbally express what they were about to do. They were about to go to war. They were about to fight their enemies. She was not naive enough to believe each and every one of them would come back, least of all without a scratch. She knew Michael could defend himself - but he was not up against humans. He was up against another breed, one he had no idea how they struck, and she was terrified.
"Maria," his eyes softened, looking up at her big eyes and cupping her cheek with his hands. "Don't be silly, nothing will happen to me or the boots."
"It's just..." she broke off, overwhelmed by a hiccup, "I've just tried to change you so much, I've ragged on you time and again to be a better boyfriend and..." she paused again, giving him a smile that broke his heart, "and we're the only ones still together, Michael. Everyone else is miserable or apart and you and me - we're still strong, you know?"
He cracked a half-grin, finally understanding where she was going with this. "Yeah. You and me."
"I just want you to know I don't want you to change, you're already more perfect then I could have ever hoped for. You've never left me, and I know I'm loved when I'm with you. I can't ask for more, Michael," she finished softly, urging him to stand with her as she wrapped her arms around his waist, closing her eyes as she dampened his shirt with her tears.
He really hated when she cried.
She didn't deserve this. She deserved normal.
"I love you, Michael," she whispered, holding on to him tighter.
"I love you, too."
It was only then she stopped crying.
~*~*~*~
The next day...
~*~*~*~
They had broken down in pairs.
Liz and Maxie. Michael and Alec. Max and Kyle. Alex and Tess. Ava and Isabel.
Each knew their designed purpose. Logan had drilled every small corner of the entire building, had made sure they knew what they were up against.
Maxie had always been nervous before she went on duty. She was now as designed as Alec, to be the perfect soldier. She had not his experience, or his confidence, no matter how hard of a bluster she tried to put on.
"Shit. Alec, I can't see a thing," Michael muttered, slowing down his pace as the sound of guards reached their ears. There were thick clouds below them, and fog surrounded them that dark night rain pouring along as the fire team that was Alec, Michael, Maxie, and Liz provided back up for Max, Kyle, and Isabel. Ava and Tess were prepared for their mind warping duties, they knew the amount of time they were to be there, knew the exact vent which would lead them to Zan.
Panic rose on Maxie's chest as they were closer to the fortress. The people who wanted her the most were in there, and she was about to face them.
It was time. She had to follow through.
~*~*~
Max raised his hand, electricity bolts slipping through the tips of his fingers as liquid. It spread as fast as wildfire, powerful enough to disarm two men, as they immediately crumpled to the floor the minute the energy charge reached their skin.
It was kill or be killed.
He had never been in this position.
But he was learning.
He was a king, and his son's life as at risk, and he could not weaken.
He would never get forgiveness for this.
But that was no longer his peril.
This was prolonging too much.
Was anyone winning?
His hand was held in front of him as a source of protection, and he and Kyle were ready to strike. Their minds had not been trained for this, but their instinct and survival was far greater.
And Max had learned.
He would never be wounded twice.
Every sound drowned out for Max as he heard a familiar cry.
~*~*~
Move not unless you see an advantage; use not your troops unless there is something to be gained; fight not unless the position is critical.
~*~*~
She shivered, tried her best to look through the darkness. But the lights were shut down - on purpose, Tess deduced - and she was left with nothing but her trembling fear.
Zan likes the color orange.
Zan's first word was milk.
Zan's birthday is October 5th.
She lets these thoughts slip through her head as she held Alex's hand tightly in her own, as the two stood still in a corner, their breaths held as steps circled around them.
She knew - she knew if they were caught- they were gone. And she was mentally drained from hiding all eight of them along with Ava, she had no more inside of her to control. She wanted to fall in a weak heap on the floor and sleep until there was nothing left to slumber, and the only thing that kept her going was her son.
Tess had to find Zan.
And as she weakened a guard's mind until he fell to the floor screaming, Tess knew she would die trying.
~*~*~*~
Know the enemy and know yourself; in a hundred battles you will never be in peril. When you are ignorant of the enemy, but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal. If ignorant both of your enemy and yourself, you are certain in every battle to be in peril.
~*~*~*~
Liz ran a shaky hand through her dark hair, as she - along with Maxie, Michael, and Alec - walked along the front corridor. She felt as Alec crept behind her, and she knew it was wrong, but she felt relieved to know he was there with her. That if anything happened, it would happen to the two of them. At least for now.
Soon she and Maxie would part ways with them, but she needed to hang on to him as long as she possibly could.
She briefly wondered if this would ever disperse from her memory. If she would ever grow out of the pain, shut it out of her and live her life as normally as she could.
Was normal even possible?
They were finally stuck at a crossroad, as the corridor now broke down into two different directions.
Maxie is already going to the left, and Michael is already treading to the right.
Liz held on to Alec's hand.
"Alec..." she swallowed the loud lump in her throat. "Remember... remember everything."
In answer, he cups her face in his hands and kisses her soundly.
He finally lets go of her hand, and he walks way from her and a part of her doesn't know if she'll see him again.
Remember, Alec.
"I will."
~*~*~*~*~
All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.
~*~*~*~*~
Someone grabbed at her from behind, hand balling into a fist in her hair, pushing her to the wall with force.
Liz gasped as she was met with the strength of her attacker's punch, bowled over in attempt to shield herself. She would appear harmless, she would appear to surrender.
And only then she would attack.
She could no longer be scared, mousy Liz Parker.
Liz raised her head, blood dripping from her lips as her eyes met with silvery gray.
The woman tucked a strand of fiery red hair behind her ears, tilting her head to assess Liz. "We finally meet."
Liz didn't need to be told.
She knew she was facing off with Lydia Chastity.
~*~*~*~*~
When the enemy is relaxed, make them toil. When full, starve them. When settled, make them move.
~*~*~*~*~
Panic rose in Alec's chest. He had long ago lost Michael, and was lost in the maze of the compound. Gun shots were setting off around him, bringing him back to reality as he tried snapping him out of his shock.
Everything was going wrong. Everything.
They knew they were coming. Of course they knew.
They had been waiting. Who else was trapped along with him? How on earth would he find his way back to the headquarters?
He had to find Liz. Instict, and his connection to her, tugged at Alec. He knew she was still inside along with him. Had known the minute their plan of attack had back fired.
His legs felt as if they had been chopped off, and a part of him wanted to rest his back on the wall and just let it be over. He had fought. And he was failing.
A flash of dark-colored hair brought a newfound surge of enerdy, and with what was left of his bruised body, he forced himself to crawl. He couldn't think of a part of his body that wasn't in acute pain, but he kept pushing himself through the burning building quickly with his elbows, unable to fully walk and already feeling what was to come. He didn't have time to look for Michael, because the cell they had been fighting in blew up in flames, leaving nothing but the flaring fire so close his face was burning. He hid his face in his arm, and the sound richocheted inside of his mind, dazing him into muted silence and frightful stillness.
He recognized Kyle through the clouds of smoke, and before he could make it to him, a high explosive blew up near him.
Ames White had prepared himself.
Alec immediately fell to the gorund in reflexive defense. After a few seconds of stilled silence, he began crawling over to Kyle, elbows crushing whatever was beneath them. He gripped the machine gun that had been lying only feet away from him. He could only hope they had all made it out of the building safely, and it was just him and Kyle.
Alec tensed, aiming at a blurry figure in uniform that moved towards Alec threateningly, shooting him in both legs. The man growled his pain, before falling to the ground on his knees, face-first in a melding of debris.
"Kyle!" Alec shouted, bringing his attention to him.
Kyle took notice of Alec, sighed in relief as he made his way to him. Alec was about to speak when a shot ran in the air.
Kyle felt hot compression in his body. Gasping for breath, he wobbled before falling, faintly hearing Alec yell his name. Kyle's hands clutched at the floor, teeth clenched to keep from yelping as he paled. Grunting in pain, he curled, his hand moving to his back where he felt liquid pooling. He hissed as he turned to his back, eyes shooting open in shock.
In stunned fascination, Kyle retrieved his hand, which was now covered in blood.
He was shot.
Visions blurred around him, familiar voices and a blonde girl he loved painfully in a field of dandelions merged in a crystal haze beneath his lids before everything began fading to black. Sounds were stifled by the own buzzing in his ears.
And then, nothing.
-
- Enthusiastic Roswellian
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Sat Jul 24, 2004 6:13 pm
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- Contact:
CHAPTER #15
I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there's evil, and that I was chosen to fight it. I wish, a whole lot of the time, that I hadn't been. But this isn't about wishes. This is about choices. I believe we can beat this evil. Not when it comes, not when its army is ready, now.
~*~*~*~*
Liz rose from the floor with the dignity that she had left, though her knees felt wobbly and unsure. Her eyes stung with the smoke that was beginning to filter inside of the cell Lydia had cornered her in, and every breath seemed clogged with thick, swirling flames.
Liz paid no heed to it, meeting the redhead face on.
There was a cruel beauty in Lydia Chastity, that of a two-faced faerie, stunning in her make up and deceitful in her nature. She was tall and her neck seemed endless and graceful.
“Lydia Chastity.”
The name poisoned out of her bitterly, the symmetry of the meaning underlying in hateful vengeance she had never in her life felt inside of her skin so deeply. She was a good person, with a sensitive head on her shoulders.
There was no logic to this.
She tortured Alec. She kidnapped Zan.
Liz hated her, and it seemed a sentiment far greater then hate, one so enormous in its magnitude she couldn’t name.
Lydia’s lip turned, twitching in mild amusement. “Have we met?”
“You can say that,” Liz began, arching her back and willing her strength to not abandon her. She felt limp in her shoulders, felt weary and defeated. She was trapped, and could only hope that she was the only one.
“You can,” Lydia acknowledged, magnificent silver orbs training their sight on Liz. She was crafted, Lydia. Knew how to intimidate her oposition, knew how to hide the little secrets she had left, leaving open only her confidence and cool edge.
“I have been in this game far too long, and time engenders apathy. I have no use for you, and though you are no real threat to me, I would rather you take your last breath in front of me, as I watch you bleed your life away,” Lydia drawled with disdain, “that way I’ll know that if 494 ever escapes this, escapes me, you’ll be nothing but a wounding memory.”
“At least I’d be something,” Liz retorted icily, smirking in a way she never had before - Alec would be proud. “You are nothing to no one. I am going to beat you, and when you are gone from this world - no one will even blink.”
“Care to put that to test, sweetie?”
“I am not scared of you. I will kick your twisted evil ass all the way to hell and make sure you stay gone.”
Lydia chose that moment to grab Liz by the neck, flinging her through the air. Liz groaned as she made contact with the ground, violently removing the hair out of her face, using her hand to create a current strong enough to send Lydia smashing to a wall.
The two were at opposite corners, breathing heavily before running towards each other, Lydia outweighing Liz and falling on top of her. This gave her leverage, as she chose to strike Liz resoundingly with her first, drawing blood out of her lip.
“Do it, Liz,” Lydia urged in a whisper, hands crawling to Liz’s neck, burying her fingernails deep into her flesh, and she wet her lips in anticipation. “Beg me.”
“No,” she wheezed, twisting for space until she freed her legs, kicking Lydia in the stomach.
Debris began to fall all around them, separating the two as the flames arose persistently, as if trying to reach the sky and remind humanity of its mortality.
Liz concentrated all of her power on the fingertips of her hands, as icy currents began to spring to life beneath her, a crimson tide of energy surging through her veins and towards the surface, almost pushing her to all of her capacity, hitting Lydia directly.
She looked around her, running out through the stone corridors, coughing violently and holding at her stomach. She was fighting a cause. She wouldn’t have been able to stop it. She wanted to continue running, wanted to find her way out of the god forsaken place because she woudn’t fail her friends.
But she was so, so tired...
~*~*~*~
Tess felt the energy pulsate out of her hand, creating a force field around her as everything began to burn around her. Window after window burst in explosion, glass shattering all around her, one after another in terrifying sound. She walked above the shards of the glass, sprawling her hands on the green force field so it would move along with her.
Everything around her went dark, before another burst of flames invaded the air, red and yellow vivid bodies or scarlet and gold fires twisting around her. She closed her eyes, praying the field would resist blow after blow.
She laughed a tired, weary laugh.
“Max!”
He was carrying Zan, his own hand had created a force field around them both, the green melding with her blue circular protective shield as it merged into one. She hugged Max and Zan to her gratefully.
Doors flew open as everything continued shattering around them, Max gripping Tess’ hand frightfully as they tried searching for a way out.
Max gave Zan to Tess, holding her face with either of his hands. “I have to see if anyone remains here.”
Tess’ eyes widened. “Max, no! What about Zan?”
“He will have both of us,” Max reassured. “I can’t leave anyone behind. That is our pact, Tess - leave no one behind.”
He pulled her out of his force field, turning once more to give her a sad half-smile.
“Max, no! Please! MAX!”
Her entire heart felt itself go empty as he was out of her view, held on tighter to her son as blood slipped out of her skin. “Just a little while longer, love,” she whispered shakily, feeling his heart beat against hers. She had him once more in her arms, and as long as she was alive, she would make sure they made it out of there.
She would learn to live with her burdens, would learn to deal with the grief.
Oh, god. Every wall looked the same. Every glass was in the same distance. Which way was out? She had to know, she was running out of time.
For now, she just had to keep on moving.
For Zan, she had to keep moving.
~*~*~*~
He was not some fucking hero out of a comic book. He was a stupid alien with supernatural powers with no real education as to how to use them.
This was why he was still trapped inside.
Fuck.
He wished he could have Max’s self-sacrifice, admit defeat when he saw it and die as noble a death as he could, or wished he had Alec’s valiance - he was sure Alec would make even death look cool.
But he had neither, and so instead, feeling the world caving into him, he dreams of impossible dreams.
A clear, white-sand beach with crystalline water and an unearthly sunset. The smell of rain before a dark evening. Wet grass beneath his feet as he looked up toward the sky, and seeing his home. Maria holding a new born baby in her arms.
Good days.
Happy days.
Do something!
Green-blueish sparks lit beneath his palms, splitting into arrays of bolts as he managed to break through the walls as he continued to duck falling debris and fire-lit spots. He closed his eyes shut, as to not see the bodies lying in a motionless heap and at impossible angles, as he saw flesh, as tangible as his, light up in flames.
He heard footsteps behind him, eyes shocked but not displeased.
“Liz! Max!”
His mouth curled in relief as he spotted vague light, almost swallowed hole by the clouds of smoke gathering around him, roaring their fury and spreading its poison. When he felt his feet hit cold concrete, when he felt his body fanned out by light rain, he could not believe it himself. He was out. He had made it. Ames White and his men were caged and/or handcuffed inside of the facility they had worked so hard to build.
The fire grew taller.
Michael embraced the sky and smiled as he noticed the orange-purple colors.
The sun was rising.
~*~*~*~
The ceiling of the building was caving on Alec.
Bleak vacancy crept on his eyes, trained on Kyle, who kept bleeding. God, did humans have so much blood?
He had been tossed aside by the world, had lived a solitary, had shifted his life into that of a designed existence, and he preferred that to the creeping fear that was icing his hands. He kept composure under a thinly-veiled resonance, but is confidence was resting on a fragile line. His young years were betraying him, and he could do nothing but observe the utter destruction that was in front of him. The confidence and self-belief were chipping away as he saw the men go down, one by one, their last breath an agonizing attempt to survive. He tried walking but every which way was a body lying in front of him. Familiar faces that he remembered in perpetual vagueness, that had ordered him, or trusted him, or followed him, lying in an almost unrecognizable pool of blood and death.
He kept shaking Kyle, but to no avail. Lowering his head with resignation, Alec got a fireman’s hold on Kyle, grunting as the brunt of his friend’s full weight fell on his already exhausted shoulder. He moved one foot in front of the other with nothing but will as driving force. Alec stopped momentarily, kneeling as a large piece of ceiling barely scraping his back. Pausing to pant for breath he felt he no longer had, he repositioned Kyle more securely over his shoulder, before continuing.
With the left side of his bruised body, he forced open what was left of the jammed door. He couldn’t think of a part of his body that wasn’t in acute pain, but he kept pushing himself through the solid metal quickly with his elbows, unable to fully walk and already feeling what was to come.
Alec stumbled into the fresh air, falling to the ground and Kyle with him. He later continued crawling, his body moving through the soggy mud, blood dripping from his forehead all the way to his neck.
He didn’t have time to shout at Kyle, because the front of the facility exploded, leaving nothing but the flaring fire so close his face was burning. He hid his face in his arm, and the sound richocheted inside of his mind, dazing him into muted silence and frightful stillness.
Alec barely noticed Tess and Isabel kneel beside Kyle, their hands eliciting a silver glow as they sought to heal him. They had never healed before, they cried helplessly. They needed Max, Isabel beseeched.
“Oh my god… Kyle!” Tess pleaded frantically, trembling hands intervening with fate, urging him to come back to her.
That was when Alec noticed Max was missing.
Max, Michael, and Liz.
Liz.
“Liz!” Alec shouted, feeling Maxie’s hands claw his shoulder to keep him from running towards the already collapsing edifice. He had never felt so awful before, not in his entire life, never had he felt so out of control.
He could not lose her. He just… he couldn’t. All the thoughts that ran through Alec’s mind weren’t about the rain that was pouring down heavily from the dark heavens, or Maria’s shrilly screams or Ava’s quiet tears. All he could concentrate on was the fierce drumming in his heart, the devastation that was creeping up on him.
The anger was rising in his chest as he blinked back tears, trying his best to jerk from Maxie and Logan’s hold.
Tess, meanwhile, had her eyes ranging on Kyle, relief ramming into her chest when he graced her with a loud cough, breathing erratically but breathing. There was blood covering his shirt, product of a wound that no longer existed. Kyle raised himself slowly, engulfing whomever was near him in a tight hug.
Alec was oblivious.
The last thing he ever said to her was he couldn’t deal with her. He had been angry, had been vicious, had thought of only healing his own pain and he would never forgive himself if it was the last thing that he said.
Punching Logan to get him to back off, Alec began to walk, coaching himself to go inside. Silence stagnated around them, as they waited.
Alec stopped breathing when he saw two figures coming out of the fog. He only focused on one staggering figure that was slowly making her way through the burning crisp, her small frame battered and stumbling. He stood there for a second, glued to the ground.
He began walking towards her. She gave him a reassuring smile as she tried meeting him half way. Walking then turned into running as he sped past Max and Michael. Liz threw herself into Alec’s arms, burying her face in his shoulder. They were was alive, she laughed joyously, locking her legs around his waist. She barely noticed Maria take Michael in similar fashion.
“I love you,” she cried in whisper, feeling a sense of overwhelming relief as he hugged her as tightly as possible. She clutched on to him, sobbing, not caring if she broke a rib or a leg, she was holding on to him so fiercely. “I love you… I love you so much… I thought I’d never be able to tell you, I’m so sorry I never did it before. I love you.”
Before he could answer that he loved her in return she crashed her lips down on his, moving only one hand that had been around his neck to the back of his head. What on earth would she have done without him, and his kiss? She pulled away to hug him again. “I love no one else but you. There is no one else in my heart, in my body, in my mind, and I don’t ever want to lose you again.”
He smiled at her, feeling he could burst with relief and happiness. “Well, I guess that’s only fair.”
“What’s fair?”
He grinned, dark smudges of smooth adorning his face. “Putting in the fact that I, Liz Parker, am madly in love with you, it’s only fair that you love me a little, too,” he grew serious, “I’m... I’m sorry for how I acted. I just didn’t... didn’t know how - ”
She smiled and collided her forehead with his. “It’s okay.” He was stroking her face lovingly as she continued, “I just can’t imagine a life that doesn’t have you in it.”
And before he could answer anything, her lips were on his again searchingly.
He buried his head in her hair, her tears making way into her rain-drenched shirt. She was still shaking in his arms, he was slightly concerned as her chest trembled. “Liz, you’re okay. And I swear I’m fine.”
“Cornball, will you let the man breathe?” Ava teased.
“We’re so glad you’re all okay,” Ava added, hugging Alec and Michael to her tenderly.
Begrudgingly, Liz slid down from Alec and then finally pushed him. “Just don’t scare me like that again,” Alec begged.
“Yeah, please, my body won’t take it,” Logan wheezed out, flinching as Ava inspected his eye. Everyone turned to him, noticing that it was half-closed and turning purple, not to mention the bruises around his arms. Maxie immediately kissed his eye with a butterfly kiss, hugging him to her once again before shaking her head with a half-smile towards Alec.
“Alec did all that?” Kyle asked in disbelief, stifling a chuckle.
“Oh my Buddha! Logan I apologize,” Alec approached him, but Logan backed away.
“Hey, look!” Ava piped up from behind them, all twelve of them turning around. It was Joshua, waving the flag that symbolized the transgenics, and their struggle-demanding human society to accept them, for they weren’t going anywhere.
Everyone smiled as they turned to Max and Tess, who was cradling little Zan in his hands, kissing his forehead tenderly.
Bottom line is, even if you see ’em coming, you’re not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does.
Liz turned back to watching the flag wave proudly, as her hands fell to the sides, scratched and bloodied.
So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can’t help that.
She breathed heavily, crust of the fire leaving from her hands as the dry blood pierces into her. She killed someone. She has killed.
It’s what you do afterwards that counts.
She felt Alec clasp her hand with his. She looked up at him, finally hopeful and brave. Her other hand, that had curled inside a piece of cloth she had torn from Lydia, fell to the ground as she swayed with the wind, eyes still trained on the unwavering flag.
That’s when you find out who you are.
This is what people fought for. What people would bleed for. What people had died for.
Freedom.
You’ll see what I mean.
~*~*~*~*~
EPILOGUE
Tammy Heart was a confused girl.
Not that things didn’t confuse her easily.
She could not grasp anyone not liking anying associated to Yo La Tengo and yes, Britney Spears - she deserves a second chance, damn it!
She did not understand why no one put fashion-disasters out of their misery.
She did not understand why people where offended when she bad-mouthed PETA.
She would never forgive her best friend, Pam Troy, the day she decided to start dressing like her grandmother - if her grandmother was a frenetic monkey on crack.
Yes. She was quick to bewilder.
The last months, however, left things much to be desired when it came to clarity and simplicity.
As Tammy Heart would always gleefully stress, no one could keep a secret.
Everyone who was anyone, was discussed in the small town of Roswell, New Mexico.
And lately, Liz Parker and her friends gave people such as Tammy Heart plenty to run with.
Forget Brad and Jenfer, and the surging of chemistry-imploding Brangelina.
Forget TomKat, and the creepiness factor that came with its implications.
Liz and Alec was where all of the gossip was at.
Forever in the teenage formula was two months if you were lucky. And when Tammy Heart had been accurate in her prediction that Liz would soon diss and dismiss hot but dull-as-dirt Max Evans, she had hoped the brainy valedictorian would return to their beloved, high school hero Kyle Valenti.
It had been a change, to say the least, seeing Liz Parker in love with the town’s newest Adonis personified. The sweet and mousy turned not-so-sweet and no-longer mousy. She was fiery! She was spiny! She was...
Ahem. Tammy Heart quickly loses track of things...
Anyway, hand-holding with dull-as-dirt Max Evans became making out in a bar with the hottest of the hottest. And though MaxandLiz had been an entity in itself, the town, and many who knew Liz Parker, had warmed up to the relationship. As strange and unknown as it had appeared, months had passed and Liz and the new guy were still very much together, and from what it appeared, very much in love.
Cut to graduation.
Tall, blonde, and handsome had hitched a plane ride back to wherever his gorgeous behind was born and bread from, Liz was back to her mousiest, and Kyle Valenti is found necking her in the janitor’s room.
Huh?
No one knew what on earth had happened. And Tammy Heart had definitely asked.
Or at least, tried to.
She’s distracted easily.
She had cornered Isabel Evans, but was too busy noticing the inadequate and fugly pink blouse that she was wearing, dissecting the outfit all the way to the pointy, horrendous shoes. Isabel Evans rarely dressed anything short of gorgeous, and Tammy Heart was quick to notice the rarity and pick it apart viciously (Tammy Heart was at her best when she was vicious). Besides, Tammy Heart had other things to discuss as with La Diva - such as Alex Whitman, the guy who died but not really.
Weird things definitely happened in Roswell.
Had Liz been unceremoniously dumped by the untamed perfection that was Alec (whose last name Tammy Heart, gossip inspector at its finest, found out was McDowell)? Had karma finally come back and bitten the small brunette in question?
Hard to tell, hard to tell.
Up to speed? Got it? Good.
It doesn’t end there, which is why it is much more interesting then a couple with an icky sixteen-year age gap or a Hollywood Golden Couple broken up by an exotic babe.
No, this was far greater. At least, more approximate in its reality.
Liz and her ex-beau Kyle Valenti seemed to be getting hot and heavy, which didn’t settle well with recently seen Tess Harding, archenemy of Liz’s and mother to Max’s child.
There must be something about Liz Parker, Tammy Heart decided, what with three guys, all gorgeous, falling to her feet and such. Tammy Heart would dye her hair brown, if it didn’t go against her holy book of blondes.
While she was known for her gossiping adoration and meddlesome nature, Tammy Heart had grown fond of the coupling of Alec and Liz. They were an extreme kind of couple, his cocky, fun, woman-loving self settling down for the good girl next door.
It worked. They fit. And, sadly, it ended.
The truth was not difficult to see, however. Tammy Heart, who was sitting in the Crashdown that early summer morning with a malt in her booth, could see what the commotion was about - there was a going away party. And it was for the fantastic duo.
While there were no apparent reports that the Adonis and the Mousy Girl That Was are back together, sources have informed Tammy Heart - Jenn Lowell heard from Tess who heard from Isabel who heard from Liz ‘I’m a babe magnet’ Parker herself that she was embarking on a road trip with Alec. Just the two of them, out of the open road, full of possibilities (and naughty motels) - it was pretty clear what was going to happen.
Tammy Heart was a suspicious person, and reckoned things didn’t end just there.
No, of course not. Many questions were left unanswered.
There was still Kyle in the equation, and she was very interested in knowing his response. And Tess’s response to Kyle’s response.
And whether Alec and Liz would come back the solid couple they had been.
Will Isabel and Alex get married and continue their boring existence?
Would Tess turn into a good girl for the sake of Kyle’s love?
Would Max ever change his ambiguously gay haircut?
Oh, the tangled webs we weave.
There was still time for Liz and Alec.
For Tammy Heart has high hopes for them.
.......
~*~*~*~THE END
*The quotes I used in italic are from the show Buffy.
A/N: I can't believe it's over!!! It has been such an amazing ride, writing all of Steal Your Pain, from the beginning. It was my first Roswell fanfiction ever, and I hope I didn't do too bad, and I hope this last chapter at least did half-justice. I am half-sad it's over, half-relieved I actualy got to this point - thank you to everyone who stuck by me as I did, I loved writing this, and I hope I can write many more Liz/Alec fics to come!
I hate this. I hate being here. I hate that you have to be here. I hate that there's evil, and that I was chosen to fight it. I wish, a whole lot of the time, that I hadn't been. But this isn't about wishes. This is about choices. I believe we can beat this evil. Not when it comes, not when its army is ready, now.
~*~*~*~*
Liz rose from the floor with the dignity that she had left, though her knees felt wobbly and unsure. Her eyes stung with the smoke that was beginning to filter inside of the cell Lydia had cornered her in, and every breath seemed clogged with thick, swirling flames.
Liz paid no heed to it, meeting the redhead face on.
There was a cruel beauty in Lydia Chastity, that of a two-faced faerie, stunning in her make up and deceitful in her nature. She was tall and her neck seemed endless and graceful.
“Lydia Chastity.”
The name poisoned out of her bitterly, the symmetry of the meaning underlying in hateful vengeance she had never in her life felt inside of her skin so deeply. She was a good person, with a sensitive head on her shoulders.
There was no logic to this.
She tortured Alec. She kidnapped Zan.
Liz hated her, and it seemed a sentiment far greater then hate, one so enormous in its magnitude she couldn’t name.
Lydia’s lip turned, twitching in mild amusement. “Have we met?”
“You can say that,” Liz began, arching her back and willing her strength to not abandon her. She felt limp in her shoulders, felt weary and defeated. She was trapped, and could only hope that she was the only one.
“You can,” Lydia acknowledged, magnificent silver orbs training their sight on Liz. She was crafted, Lydia. Knew how to intimidate her oposition, knew how to hide the little secrets she had left, leaving open only her confidence and cool edge.
“I have been in this game far too long, and time engenders apathy. I have no use for you, and though you are no real threat to me, I would rather you take your last breath in front of me, as I watch you bleed your life away,” Lydia drawled with disdain, “that way I’ll know that if 494 ever escapes this, escapes me, you’ll be nothing but a wounding memory.”
“At least I’d be something,” Liz retorted icily, smirking in a way she never had before - Alec would be proud. “You are nothing to no one. I am going to beat you, and when you are gone from this world - no one will even blink.”
“Care to put that to test, sweetie?”
“I am not scared of you. I will kick your twisted evil ass all the way to hell and make sure you stay gone.”
Lydia chose that moment to grab Liz by the neck, flinging her through the air. Liz groaned as she made contact with the ground, violently removing the hair out of her face, using her hand to create a current strong enough to send Lydia smashing to a wall.
The two were at opposite corners, breathing heavily before running towards each other, Lydia outweighing Liz and falling on top of her. This gave her leverage, as she chose to strike Liz resoundingly with her first, drawing blood out of her lip.
“Do it, Liz,” Lydia urged in a whisper, hands crawling to Liz’s neck, burying her fingernails deep into her flesh, and she wet her lips in anticipation. “Beg me.”
“No,” she wheezed, twisting for space until she freed her legs, kicking Lydia in the stomach.
Debris began to fall all around them, separating the two as the flames arose persistently, as if trying to reach the sky and remind humanity of its mortality.
Liz concentrated all of her power on the fingertips of her hands, as icy currents began to spring to life beneath her, a crimson tide of energy surging through her veins and towards the surface, almost pushing her to all of her capacity, hitting Lydia directly.
She looked around her, running out through the stone corridors, coughing violently and holding at her stomach. She was fighting a cause. She wouldn’t have been able to stop it. She wanted to continue running, wanted to find her way out of the god forsaken place because she woudn’t fail her friends.
But she was so, so tired...
~*~*~*~
Tess felt the energy pulsate out of her hand, creating a force field around her as everything began to burn around her. Window after window burst in explosion, glass shattering all around her, one after another in terrifying sound. She walked above the shards of the glass, sprawling her hands on the green force field so it would move along with her.
Everything around her went dark, before another burst of flames invaded the air, red and yellow vivid bodies or scarlet and gold fires twisting around her. She closed her eyes, praying the field would resist blow after blow.
She laughed a tired, weary laugh.
“Max!”
He was carrying Zan, his own hand had created a force field around them both, the green melding with her blue circular protective shield as it merged into one. She hugged Max and Zan to her gratefully.
Doors flew open as everything continued shattering around them, Max gripping Tess’ hand frightfully as they tried searching for a way out.
Max gave Zan to Tess, holding her face with either of his hands. “I have to see if anyone remains here.”
Tess’ eyes widened. “Max, no! What about Zan?”
“He will have both of us,” Max reassured. “I can’t leave anyone behind. That is our pact, Tess - leave no one behind.”
He pulled her out of his force field, turning once more to give her a sad half-smile.
“Max, no! Please! MAX!”
Her entire heart felt itself go empty as he was out of her view, held on tighter to her son as blood slipped out of her skin. “Just a little while longer, love,” she whispered shakily, feeling his heart beat against hers. She had him once more in her arms, and as long as she was alive, she would make sure they made it out of there.
She would learn to live with her burdens, would learn to deal with the grief.
Oh, god. Every wall looked the same. Every glass was in the same distance. Which way was out? She had to know, she was running out of time.
For now, she just had to keep on moving.
For Zan, she had to keep moving.
~*~*~*~
He was not some fucking hero out of a comic book. He was a stupid alien with supernatural powers with no real education as to how to use them.
This was why he was still trapped inside.
Fuck.
He wished he could have Max’s self-sacrifice, admit defeat when he saw it and die as noble a death as he could, or wished he had Alec’s valiance - he was sure Alec would make even death look cool.
But he had neither, and so instead, feeling the world caving into him, he dreams of impossible dreams.
A clear, white-sand beach with crystalline water and an unearthly sunset. The smell of rain before a dark evening. Wet grass beneath his feet as he looked up toward the sky, and seeing his home. Maria holding a new born baby in her arms.
Good days.
Happy days.
Do something!
Green-blueish sparks lit beneath his palms, splitting into arrays of bolts as he managed to break through the walls as he continued to duck falling debris and fire-lit spots. He closed his eyes shut, as to not see the bodies lying in a motionless heap and at impossible angles, as he saw flesh, as tangible as his, light up in flames.
He heard footsteps behind him, eyes shocked but not displeased.
“Liz! Max!”
His mouth curled in relief as he spotted vague light, almost swallowed hole by the clouds of smoke gathering around him, roaring their fury and spreading its poison. When he felt his feet hit cold concrete, when he felt his body fanned out by light rain, he could not believe it himself. He was out. He had made it. Ames White and his men were caged and/or handcuffed inside of the facility they had worked so hard to build.
The fire grew taller.
Michael embraced the sky and smiled as he noticed the orange-purple colors.
The sun was rising.
~*~*~*~
The ceiling of the building was caving on Alec.
Bleak vacancy crept on his eyes, trained on Kyle, who kept bleeding. God, did humans have so much blood?
He had been tossed aside by the world, had lived a solitary, had shifted his life into that of a designed existence, and he preferred that to the creeping fear that was icing his hands. He kept composure under a thinly-veiled resonance, but is confidence was resting on a fragile line. His young years were betraying him, and he could do nothing but observe the utter destruction that was in front of him. The confidence and self-belief were chipping away as he saw the men go down, one by one, their last breath an agonizing attempt to survive. He tried walking but every which way was a body lying in front of him. Familiar faces that he remembered in perpetual vagueness, that had ordered him, or trusted him, or followed him, lying in an almost unrecognizable pool of blood and death.
He kept shaking Kyle, but to no avail. Lowering his head with resignation, Alec got a fireman’s hold on Kyle, grunting as the brunt of his friend’s full weight fell on his already exhausted shoulder. He moved one foot in front of the other with nothing but will as driving force. Alec stopped momentarily, kneeling as a large piece of ceiling barely scraping his back. Pausing to pant for breath he felt he no longer had, he repositioned Kyle more securely over his shoulder, before continuing.
With the left side of his bruised body, he forced open what was left of the jammed door. He couldn’t think of a part of his body that wasn’t in acute pain, but he kept pushing himself through the solid metal quickly with his elbows, unable to fully walk and already feeling what was to come.
Alec stumbled into the fresh air, falling to the ground and Kyle with him. He later continued crawling, his body moving through the soggy mud, blood dripping from his forehead all the way to his neck.
He didn’t have time to shout at Kyle, because the front of the facility exploded, leaving nothing but the flaring fire so close his face was burning. He hid his face in his arm, and the sound richocheted inside of his mind, dazing him into muted silence and frightful stillness.
Alec barely noticed Tess and Isabel kneel beside Kyle, their hands eliciting a silver glow as they sought to heal him. They had never healed before, they cried helplessly. They needed Max, Isabel beseeched.
“Oh my god… Kyle!” Tess pleaded frantically, trembling hands intervening with fate, urging him to come back to her.
That was when Alec noticed Max was missing.
Max, Michael, and Liz.
Liz.
“Liz!” Alec shouted, feeling Maxie’s hands claw his shoulder to keep him from running towards the already collapsing edifice. He had never felt so awful before, not in his entire life, never had he felt so out of control.
He could not lose her. He just… he couldn’t. All the thoughts that ran through Alec’s mind weren’t about the rain that was pouring down heavily from the dark heavens, or Maria’s shrilly screams or Ava’s quiet tears. All he could concentrate on was the fierce drumming in his heart, the devastation that was creeping up on him.
The anger was rising in his chest as he blinked back tears, trying his best to jerk from Maxie and Logan’s hold.
Tess, meanwhile, had her eyes ranging on Kyle, relief ramming into her chest when he graced her with a loud cough, breathing erratically but breathing. There was blood covering his shirt, product of a wound that no longer existed. Kyle raised himself slowly, engulfing whomever was near him in a tight hug.
Alec was oblivious.
The last thing he ever said to her was he couldn’t deal with her. He had been angry, had been vicious, had thought of only healing his own pain and he would never forgive himself if it was the last thing that he said.
Punching Logan to get him to back off, Alec began to walk, coaching himself to go inside. Silence stagnated around them, as they waited.
Alec stopped breathing when he saw two figures coming out of the fog. He only focused on one staggering figure that was slowly making her way through the burning crisp, her small frame battered and stumbling. He stood there for a second, glued to the ground.
He began walking towards her. She gave him a reassuring smile as she tried meeting him half way. Walking then turned into running as he sped past Max and Michael. Liz threw herself into Alec’s arms, burying her face in his shoulder. They were was alive, she laughed joyously, locking her legs around his waist. She barely noticed Maria take Michael in similar fashion.
“I love you,” she cried in whisper, feeling a sense of overwhelming relief as he hugged her as tightly as possible. She clutched on to him, sobbing, not caring if she broke a rib or a leg, she was holding on to him so fiercely. “I love you… I love you so much… I thought I’d never be able to tell you, I’m so sorry I never did it before. I love you.”
Before he could answer that he loved her in return she crashed her lips down on his, moving only one hand that had been around his neck to the back of his head. What on earth would she have done without him, and his kiss? She pulled away to hug him again. “I love no one else but you. There is no one else in my heart, in my body, in my mind, and I don’t ever want to lose you again.”
He smiled at her, feeling he could burst with relief and happiness. “Well, I guess that’s only fair.”
“What’s fair?”
He grinned, dark smudges of smooth adorning his face. “Putting in the fact that I, Liz Parker, am madly in love with you, it’s only fair that you love me a little, too,” he grew serious, “I’m... I’m sorry for how I acted. I just didn’t... didn’t know how - ”
She smiled and collided her forehead with his. “It’s okay.” He was stroking her face lovingly as she continued, “I just can’t imagine a life that doesn’t have you in it.”
And before he could answer anything, her lips were on his again searchingly.
He buried his head in her hair, her tears making way into her rain-drenched shirt. She was still shaking in his arms, he was slightly concerned as her chest trembled. “Liz, you’re okay. And I swear I’m fine.”
“Cornball, will you let the man breathe?” Ava teased.
“We’re so glad you’re all okay,” Ava added, hugging Alec and Michael to her tenderly.
Begrudgingly, Liz slid down from Alec and then finally pushed him. “Just don’t scare me like that again,” Alec begged.
“Yeah, please, my body won’t take it,” Logan wheezed out, flinching as Ava inspected his eye. Everyone turned to him, noticing that it was half-closed and turning purple, not to mention the bruises around his arms. Maxie immediately kissed his eye with a butterfly kiss, hugging him to her once again before shaking her head with a half-smile towards Alec.
“Alec did all that?” Kyle asked in disbelief, stifling a chuckle.
“Oh my Buddha! Logan I apologize,” Alec approached him, but Logan backed away.
“Hey, look!” Ava piped up from behind them, all twelve of them turning around. It was Joshua, waving the flag that symbolized the transgenics, and their struggle-demanding human society to accept them, for they weren’t going anywhere.
Everyone smiled as they turned to Max and Tess, who was cradling little Zan in his hands, kissing his forehead tenderly.
Bottom line is, even if you see ’em coming, you’re not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does.
Liz turned back to watching the flag wave proudly, as her hands fell to the sides, scratched and bloodied.
So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can’t help that.
She breathed heavily, crust of the fire leaving from her hands as the dry blood pierces into her. She killed someone. She has killed.
It’s what you do afterwards that counts.
She felt Alec clasp her hand with his. She looked up at him, finally hopeful and brave. Her other hand, that had curled inside a piece of cloth she had torn from Lydia, fell to the ground as she swayed with the wind, eyes still trained on the unwavering flag.
That’s when you find out who you are.
This is what people fought for. What people would bleed for. What people had died for.
Freedom.
You’ll see what I mean.
~*~*~*~*~
EPILOGUE
Tammy Heart was a confused girl.
Not that things didn’t confuse her easily.
She could not grasp anyone not liking anying associated to Yo La Tengo and yes, Britney Spears - she deserves a second chance, damn it!
She did not understand why no one put fashion-disasters out of their misery.
She did not understand why people where offended when she bad-mouthed PETA.
She would never forgive her best friend, Pam Troy, the day she decided to start dressing like her grandmother - if her grandmother was a frenetic monkey on crack.
Yes. She was quick to bewilder.
The last months, however, left things much to be desired when it came to clarity and simplicity.
As Tammy Heart would always gleefully stress, no one could keep a secret.
Everyone who was anyone, was discussed in the small town of Roswell, New Mexico.
And lately, Liz Parker and her friends gave people such as Tammy Heart plenty to run with.
Forget Brad and Jenfer, and the surging of chemistry-imploding Brangelina.
Forget TomKat, and the creepiness factor that came with its implications.
Liz and Alec was where all of the gossip was at.
Forever in the teenage formula was two months if you were lucky. And when Tammy Heart had been accurate in her prediction that Liz would soon diss and dismiss hot but dull-as-dirt Max Evans, she had hoped the brainy valedictorian would return to their beloved, high school hero Kyle Valenti.
It had been a change, to say the least, seeing Liz Parker in love with the town’s newest Adonis personified. The sweet and mousy turned not-so-sweet and no-longer mousy. She was fiery! She was spiny! She was...
Ahem. Tammy Heart quickly loses track of things...
Anyway, hand-holding with dull-as-dirt Max Evans became making out in a bar with the hottest of the hottest. And though MaxandLiz had been an entity in itself, the town, and many who knew Liz Parker, had warmed up to the relationship. As strange and unknown as it had appeared, months had passed and Liz and the new guy were still very much together, and from what it appeared, very much in love.
Cut to graduation.
Tall, blonde, and handsome had hitched a plane ride back to wherever his gorgeous behind was born and bread from, Liz was back to her mousiest, and Kyle Valenti is found necking her in the janitor’s room.
Huh?
No one knew what on earth had happened. And Tammy Heart had definitely asked.
Or at least, tried to.
She’s distracted easily.
She had cornered Isabel Evans, but was too busy noticing the inadequate and fugly pink blouse that she was wearing, dissecting the outfit all the way to the pointy, horrendous shoes. Isabel Evans rarely dressed anything short of gorgeous, and Tammy Heart was quick to notice the rarity and pick it apart viciously (Tammy Heart was at her best when she was vicious). Besides, Tammy Heart had other things to discuss as with La Diva - such as Alex Whitman, the guy who died but not really.
Weird things definitely happened in Roswell.
Had Liz been unceremoniously dumped by the untamed perfection that was Alec (whose last name Tammy Heart, gossip inspector at its finest, found out was McDowell)? Had karma finally come back and bitten the small brunette in question?
Hard to tell, hard to tell.
Up to speed? Got it? Good.
It doesn’t end there, which is why it is much more interesting then a couple with an icky sixteen-year age gap or a Hollywood Golden Couple broken up by an exotic babe.
No, this was far greater. At least, more approximate in its reality.
Liz and her ex-beau Kyle Valenti seemed to be getting hot and heavy, which didn’t settle well with recently seen Tess Harding, archenemy of Liz’s and mother to Max’s child.
There must be something about Liz Parker, Tammy Heart decided, what with three guys, all gorgeous, falling to her feet and such. Tammy Heart would dye her hair brown, if it didn’t go against her holy book of blondes.
While she was known for her gossiping adoration and meddlesome nature, Tammy Heart had grown fond of the coupling of Alec and Liz. They were an extreme kind of couple, his cocky, fun, woman-loving self settling down for the good girl next door.
It worked. They fit. And, sadly, it ended.
The truth was not difficult to see, however. Tammy Heart, who was sitting in the Crashdown that early summer morning with a malt in her booth, could see what the commotion was about - there was a going away party. And it was for the fantastic duo.
While there were no apparent reports that the Adonis and the Mousy Girl That Was are back together, sources have informed Tammy Heart - Jenn Lowell heard from Tess who heard from Isabel who heard from Liz ‘I’m a babe magnet’ Parker herself that she was embarking on a road trip with Alec. Just the two of them, out of the open road, full of possibilities (and naughty motels) - it was pretty clear what was going to happen.
Tammy Heart was a suspicious person, and reckoned things didn’t end just there.
No, of course not. Many questions were left unanswered.
There was still Kyle in the equation, and she was very interested in knowing his response. And Tess’s response to Kyle’s response.
And whether Alec and Liz would come back the solid couple they had been.
Will Isabel and Alex get married and continue their boring existence?
Would Tess turn into a good girl for the sake of Kyle’s love?
Would Max ever change his ambiguously gay haircut?
Oh, the tangled webs we weave.
There was still time for Liz and Alec.
For Tammy Heart has high hopes for them.
.......
~*~*~*~THE END
*The quotes I used in italic are from the show Buffy.
A/N: I can't believe it's over!!! It has been such an amazing ride, writing all of Steal Your Pain, from the beginning. It was my first Roswell fanfiction ever, and I hope I didn't do too bad, and I hope this last chapter at least did half-justice. I am half-sad it's over, half-relieved I actualy got to this point - thank you to everyone who stuck by me as I did, I loved writing this, and I hope I can write many more Liz/Alec fics to come!