Just A Dream (AU, M/L, TEEN) 1/1 COMPLETE 4/5/05

[Eliz]

<center>Just A Dream</center>
<center>By Eliz</center>


Disclaimer - I don’t own any of the Roswell characters, Jason Katims does.
Category - AU (M/L)
Rated - TEEN
Summary - This is the sequel to Holding On. Can Max and Liz learn how to deal with all the changes going on in their lives? This whole story is mostly in Liz point of view.


A Month Earlier

When we woke up Max and I immediately walked into Nathaniel’s room just to see if he was okay and still with us. But this morning was different when Max turned him from his side on to his back he noticed that our baby’s lips had a bluish almost purplish tent to them.

All I really remember is Max yelling my name and I immediately rushing over to the crib and looking at our little boy who was lying there just looking like he was asleep. I mean we could both see his little chest rising, but it was way to slow and we knew something was going terribly wrong. Then my whole world seemed to be fading right in front of me.

I remember Max calling an ambulance and Nathaniel was rushed to the local hospital and then the doctor having to airfighted him to the local Children’s Hospital in Los Cruces.

Then what happened in the next couple of hours I will never forget as long as I shall live. When Max and I finally arrived at the hospital Nathaniel had already been there for about an hour. We sat in the Pediatric Cardiac Unit for about twenty minutes before the doctor came in. I can only remember bits and pieces of what the doctor said, but what I do remember and I know I never will forget is when he said to us, “I’m sorry there’s nothing we can do for him anymore. We can only make him as comfortable as possible, but I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Evans but your son isn’t going to make it.” and everything after that was a total blur. I was in total shock.

I barely remember the walk down the hall and into Nathaniel’s room. All I know is that I couldn’t let go of makes arms afraid that if I did I would most certainly collapse on the floor.

Then we saw him, our little boy hooked up to all these machines and it was like the whole world had just shot me in the heart. I knew it was killing Max as well. I knew that he felt guilty that he couldn’t save his own son when he had been able to save so many people before this.

After Isabel, Jesse, Michael, and Maria showed up in the waiting room, Nathaniel’s stats began to drop. But he defused to let go and after watching him go threw all that he was having to go threw Max leaned over and whispered to his one and only child that he could go and that Daddy didn’t want to see him suffer as he was, Daddy wanted him to be free.

Nathaniel then opened his eyes and looked straight at me, and I will never in my life forget that look in those baby’s eyes. It’s like he was staying Mama please help me go. I had so many tears running down my face I couldn’t even say anything, so I just nodded and that’s when it happened. The machines began to drop so the nurse knowing what was about to happen, slowly unattached him from all the tubes and placed him in my arms. Our son then gasped for his last little breathe before he went off to be with Alex and my grandma in heaven. Everyone came in and said their goodbyes and we all cried.


Present

Nathaniel’s funeral was held just three weeks ago and it still seems like a total nightmare that I haven’t woken up from. I still can’t believe that he’s gone and I really don’t think I will ever get over it.

<center>(Liz talking to herself out loud and in her head)</center>


I’ll always see your face
The corner of your smile
And all the little things that no one will ever know


I will never forget that adorable smile you always had on your face. The way you always loved to be held by me and you would laugh every time I smiled and would know exactly how to cheer me up when I had a bad day.


Like it was yesterday, won’t ever fade away
Goodbye is just a word that I will never say

You will never be forgotten
A million days could pass us by
But what is time but just a dream
Oh I still feel you here with me
You’re more than a memory
Oh you will never be forgotten

I can‘t hold your hand
Or look into your eyes


Oh baby there’s not a day that I wish I couldn’t just hold your tiny little had one more time. To see those beautiful brown eyes that lit up my world every time I looked at you.


And when I talk to you
It just echoes in my mind


I bet people think I am crazy kneeling down here talking to a headstone, but you want to know something they can think what they want to.


But If hearts are made of dust
And if we fell from the stars
I look up tonight and know just where you are

You will never be forgotten
A million days could pass us by
But what is time but just a dream
Oh I still feel you here with me
You’re more than a memory
Oh you will never be forgotten


I know that your watching over me and your daddy every day and that your always be our little angel. No matter what happens in our living no matter who enters them or if we have another child or anything. I promise you that we will never forget you and we will always say if someone asks us if we have any kids we will say yes but he’s in heaven watching over us.


And the world just keeps on going
It has no way of knowing
That you’re gone


I just wish that the world could’ve stopped write before you died so I could hold on to you forever and never let you go. I still can’t believe that your gone you were suppose to out live us. You were suppose to start school, have your first date, drive me and your father crazy, and then get married one day to the girl of our dreams, have your own children, and live a wonderful life.


You will never be forgotten
A million days could pass us by
But what is time but just a dream


It doesn’t feel real not having you by my side. I never thought there would be a day that you would actually leave us baby boy I thought you’d be hear forever. Every time I close my eyes I see you with us and your smiling at us or giggling at something and I just wish I never had to wake up or my dreams could become reality.


Oh I still feel you here with me
You’re more than a memory
Oh you will never be forgotten


Liz looked down at the grave marker that read

<center>Nathaniel Maxwell Evans
Our little baby boy in heaven and on earth
He will always be in our hearts and dreams
And he will never be forgotten</center>

She leaned down and gently kissed the picture on the marker and placed new flowers in the holder and a little bear in a see through plastic box on the ground in front of his marker. Then with tears in her eyes she slowly began to walk away and towards her car.

Epilogue

Only 6 months after Nathaniel died Liz found out that she was pregnant again and that it was another little boy. And on the day before Nathaniel’s birthday Liz gave birth to Alexander Nathan Evans. Liz and Max both knew that this little boy was sent to them from his brother. It was like Nathaniel was telling them it’s time to heal from the trauma of his death. Not that Alexander would take Nathaniel’s place because that would ever happen and just to help them heal and move on with their lives.

As Liz looked down at the newborn infant in her arms she could see his brother in him along with his daddy who was standing right next to them. Alexander had Nathaniel’s beautiful eyes that Liz had so desperately missed and a head full of Max’s dark brown hair.

Both Max and Liz were so happy to be parents again. And all the wounds from the past year slowly began to heal as best as they ever would and they continued on with their lives still keeping their son’s memory close to their hearts, but moving on as well.


<center>The End</center>


This song was written and recorded by Jessica Andrews. I don’t own it. I hope yall enjoyed this story and please leave a review and tell me what you thought.