So nobody has seen my Patriots Diet Pepsi commercial?

Damn. I love that commercial. I'll update again either later tonight or tomorrow.
Part Ten - It’s All Fun And Games Until Someone Loses An Eye…
“All right. They’re expecting us to throw it, because they don’t think we could run it past them. Therefore, this is what we’re gonna do,” Liz said to an unenthusiastic Maria, as they huddled together at the left end of the park. “You’re gonna snap me the ball, then I’m going to drop back and pitch out to you. Once you get the lateral, I want you to rush the line of scrimmage and pitch it back to me. We’ll run a cut back till we get into the red zone. They’ll never know what hit them!”
Maria blinked, nonplussed. Then she growled, “Liz, would you please speak English?”
“What? Oh, sorry. You’re going to hike the ball – you know, hike? That means you’re going to toss me the ball from between your legs. That sets the play into motion,” Liz explained hurriedly. “Then I’m going to move back a bit, and I’m going to throw it over my shoulder to you, at the line of scrimmage. That’s called a lateral throw.”
“A…lateral.”
“Then you’re going to run down the line of scrimmage – oh, that’s like…well, it’s like an imaginary line that you can’t cross before the snap.”
“An imaginary line,” Maria echoed, looking bewildered. “Liz…I don’t know…”
Liz stifled a sigh of frustration as she caught Maria’s glazed expression. She glanced across the field and found Max smirking at her, knowing exactly what was going through her mind. Damn him. Well, she might be stuck with Maria, but she’d be damned if she’d let it slow her down.
“This isn’t rocket science, Maria!” she snapped, causing Maria to jump. “You’re going to run, and I’ll run parallel to you. You’ll throw me the ball, I’ll throw it back to you. It’s really easy.”
Maria didn’t look so sure. Shifting in the pair of sneakers Liz had loaned her before they’d taken off for the park, she nibbled her lip. “Okay. So I’m running?”
“Yes, you’re running.”
“What’s taking so long, ladies?” Max called, amusement coloring his features. “Stop postponing your defeat. Maybe if you beg…”
“Shut it!” Liz snapped again. She turned to Maria, who was now a pale green as she watched Max and Michael performing stretches across the field. “You ready? Maria?”
Her best friend appeared to snap out of a daze. “Oh. Yeah, sure. You throw the ball. I run. Line of cabbage, and all that.”
“Scrimmage!” Liz barked, throwing her arms in the air. “Line of scrimmage, Maria!”
“Scrimmage, cabbage, what’s the damn difference?” Maria cried. “We’re going to get dirty!”
“Oh, my God…”
Liz took three steps away and stifled a scream. The urge to pull her hair out was strong, but the presence of a sneering quarterback across the park was prominent enough to force her to keep her cool. “Okay. Let’s just get this over with,” she muttered, stomping over to where they’d decided to start.
Max trotted over to meet her, Michael following. He grabbed hold of the knees of his sweatpants, hiking them up as he bent to eye level with Liz. “Scared, Potter?” he breathed with an affected British accent.
“You wish,” she sneered, completing the quote from Chamber of Secrets. “Michael runs like an ape, and you’ve got a shoulder injury. How hard could it really be to beat a klutz and a gimp?”
An unreadable expression crossed his features, and she could have sworn he was trying to hide a smile. “Well, let’s just see about that. Remember…we ain’t playing touch football, sweetheart,” Max answered in a low voice. “And your teammate is afraid of breaking her nails. I’d say that evens the playing field a bit.”
She scowled, then shouted over her shoulder. “Maria! Here.” She threw the football at Maria, who shrieked and caught it against her chest.
“A little warning would be nice, y’know,” Maria sniffed, eyeing the ball with distaste. She brushed it with one sleeve, then sighed and stood in the spot Liz pointed at. “So, what, I bend over and throw this sucker between my legs?”
“When I tell you to, yes,” Liz answered, not looking away from Max. She called out a cadence, and then called for the hike. She held her hands out to receive the snap.
Nothing happened.
After a moment of silence, Maria turned halfway around and asked hesitantly, “Now?”
Michael and Max both muffled snickers. Liz closed her eyes, praying for patience. She loved Maria. She just had to remember that right now, when her competitive nature threatened to take over.
“Yes, sweetie,” she said through gritted teeth. “Now would be a really good time.”
Maria sighed, grumbled beneath her breath, and bent over once again. Before Liz could speak, the ball was coming straight at her. She caught it easily, and fell back as Michael immediately ran straight at Maria and knocked her down to the ground.
“Encroachment!” Liz hollered, dodging away from Max and dropping the ball to the ground. “That was a foul!”
“No way!” Max answered heatedly. “Did you see him touch her before the snap? You need your eyes checked, Parker.”
They carried on for another five minutes, debating whether or not a penalty had occurred, and only paused when both had to take a deep breath. A throat cleared from nearby, and they both looked over to see Michael and Maria goggling at them.
“We’re just playing for fun, right?” Michael wondered. “I mean…you two didn’t start a money pool, did you?”
“No,” Max answered, glaring at Liz. “Why?”
Michael looked like he wanted to say something else, then shrugged his shoulders. “Never mind.”
“Repeat first down,” Liz clipped off, turning her nose in the air as she moved back behind Maria. “Same play, Maria. And this time, try to step out of Michael’s way?”
“Well, you didn’t say he was going to come barreling at me!”
“Forget it!” Liz barked. “I’m calling the play now! Blue 22! Uh…Jimmy…cracked corn, and I don’t care!”
“Oh come on,” Max stood again. “What kind of play is that?”
“I can call it whatever I want,” Liz sneered. “Hut!”
Maria threw the ball, and this time she managed to do a halfway decent block. It gave Liz enough time to juke around Max, who was coming at her with an intense expression on his face, and then run for a few yards. When Max finally managed to get her down, she wriggled out from beneath him and jumped up with a squeal.
Maria squealed, too, an excited expression on her face. “Yay! Did we do something good?”
“Yes, we…you know what, never mind,” Liz said quickly.
“Clock’s running,” Max snapped, obviously not happy about the last play. “Stop twitching your ass, Parker, before you get a delay of game.”
She stuck her tongue out at him, turning on her heel and giving her ass an extra twitch as she took her place again behind Maria.
The game continued, but the girls weren’t as successful running the ball as they’d been before. Max and Michael showed no mercy, and Liz found herself tackled to the ground time after time by two hundred and twenty-five pounds of raw muscle. Apparently, Max’s shoulder injury wasn’t bothering him nearly as much as she’d worried.
The guys got the ball time and time again, and ran the score up appallingly despite Liz’s best efforts to the contrary. After one particularly embarrassing play – where Maria somehow intercepted the ball and proceeded to run the wrong way for at least eleven yards before finally clueing into Liz’s screaming instructions – Liz took a brutal hit when she chased after Max and took him down with a clip to the waist.
They both hit the ground with a thud, and Max immediately rolled over and crushed her further. “Nice try,” he managed, short of breath. “But you’re gonna have to do better than that to…Liz?”
“Gerroffme,” she muttered, trying to dislodge him. “Can’t…breathe…”
“Shit, are you okay?” Max questioned, coming to his knees and helping her turn over. “Why the hell did you go at me like that? You could have hurt yourself.”
“Don’t discount it too soon,” she managed, sitting up and rotating her arm carefully. “Ouch.”
“Let me see.” He pushed her hand away, gently prodding the spot she’d complained about. “That hurt?”
She winced, but it didn’t feel nearly as bad as she stared into his concerned eyes. A flush began to work its way up her cheeks, and she attempted to take her arm away. “I think I can get it.”
He gazed at her for a moment, expression indecipherable, then shrugged and sat back. “You might want to put some ice on it.”
His voice was so soft and - damn it - concerned, that she couldn’t look at him. The moment somehow felt too important. She stared hard at the grass instead, and tried to dredge up a sneer. “What, and whine like all you professional boys? I think I can handle a few scratches, Max.”
He didn’t get his back up like she’d expected, merely lifted a brow. “If you say so, Liz.”
He held out a hand to help her up, and she took it after a moment’s hesitation. Trying to ignore how rough and warm his palm felt against her own, she released him as soon as possible and sprinted back to where Michael was tickling Maria in the grass. “Hey, lovebirds. We still have one play left.”
“Don’t you think it’s pretty pointless by now?” Max’s voice sounded behind her, and Liz was relieved to hear the sarcasm once again coloring his tone. Whatever had happened between them moments ago had seemed to pass. “There’s no way you guys will ever catch up.”
“So?” Liz replied, turning around to face him. “It’s the principle of the matter. I refuse to go down easy.”
A bemused expression crossed his face. “Parker, nothing about you is easy,” he answered enigmatically. “But whatever. One more play.”
Liz ambled over to a bored Maria, and looped her arm around her shoulder. “This’ll be an easy one, Mar. Hail Mary pass. Go long.”
“Go long,” Maria parroted, eyeing Liz uncertainly. “Where’s long again?”
“Just run to the other end of the park,” Liz said slowly. “When I call your name, turn around and catch the ball. Can you handle that?”
“Uh…”
“Good.” Liz clapped her hands together and moved back to the line. “Let’s do this!”
They all made there way over to join her, and Maria stifled a yawn with her fingers before sighing heavily and shooting Liz a frown. “After this can we go back? I’m starting to smell like sweat.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Liz replied. She called out the audible, and had the ball in her hands in seconds. She saw Maria start running out of the corner of her eye, toward the opposite end of the field. But most of her attention was focused on the two men currently rushing toward her. She ran a cut back, hoping to confuse them long enough for Maria to make it into the makeshift end zone.
Finally, she could hold them off no longer, and she shrieked as Michael leaped at her, arms outstretched. She cut a sharp left, and found herself staring into the leering face of Max. With a wild look around, she caught sight of Maria standing across the park, staring at her nails with sorrow.
She yelled her friend’s name, lobbing the ball as hard as she could and watching it sail toward an oblivious Maria. Max tackled her to the ground just as Maria glanced up. Her best friend’s eyes widened in horror, and Liz scrambled out from beneath Max just in time to see her pass connect with Maria’s face. Maria let out a shrill cry and fell to the ground as Liz covered her mouth.
They all rushed toward the other end of the park, Michael helping Maria to her feet as her friend whimpered and babbled, refusing to let Michael pry her hands away from her injured face.
Liz could feel Max shaking with mirth next to her, and turned a mortified expression on him. “Don’t…even…say it,” she warned lowly.
“It’s gonna be a black eye, babe,” Michael’s voice sounded, and Max’s control broke. He grabbed his thighs, howling with laughter.
Michael and Maria – a bruise already burgeoning across her eyes – turned toward him with incredulous expressions.
“Sorry,” he managed between gasps of laughter. “Deja vu.”