Author: Me
Kippy1932@aol.comRating: TEEN (always like to be safe)
Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the show, actors, writers, producers, network or characters in Roswell. I only wish I did. The song lyrics used throughout (in order) are "Spaceboy" by Splender, "Miserable" by Lit, "Compliment" by Collective Soul, and "Acoustic #3" by the Goo Goo Dolls
Summary: Secrets and emotions are revealed as Max and Liz give in to their feelings for each other
Category: M/L or Other
Authors Note: Here comes number three.
For the third weekend in a row, Max Evans was getting ready to go out with Liz Parker. The past two weeks he had been with Isabelle and Michael or Alex and Maria, but tonight it was just Liz. Everyone else had something to do - or at least they claimed to. Max could not hide the fact that he was nervous as he pulled on the black sweater and put on just the tiniest bit of cologne. He had gone out with Liz before, just the two of them - tonight was different though. They had gotten closer. Closer as in their next move would be one Max knew he wasn't ready to take - one that he couldn't. When they went out with the group - it went without question that he and Liz would sit together. No one objected. For all they knew Max and Liz were just friends. And that's what they were. But they didn't see how Liz would rub her foot up against Max's beneath the table, how she now went to her classes a different route during the school day so she could meet up with Max in the hallway. Max himself had at first been unsure as to their nature. Maybe she had thought it was a table leg, her meeting him outside of gym everyday was just a coincidence. He knew they weren't though. She wanted more. They both did.
The other day she had stopped outside the front of his house and just stood there staring in. Max had seen her from the window and, hidden from view, he had stared back.
Just yesterday he had been out shooting baskets after practice and Liz had come by. She walked by his house a lot lately. 'I'm so horrible at basketball' she had laughed and he had just shrugged, saying 'it's not too hard.' He tossed her the ball, smiling, and she tossed it towards the hoop. Her form was similar to Isabelle's as the ball came nowhere near the hoop and Max couldn't help but laugh. 'I told you' Liz had laughed, embarrassed and Max just shook his head. He brought the ball back to her and stepped behind her. 'I'll show you,' he mumbled quietly. She felt his breath in her ear, on her neck and felt the arms that for so long she had wanted to go around her do just that. She turned her head around to face him and their faces slowly moved towards each other. Who knows what would have happened had Isabelle not interrupted. 'Max - dinner's ready,' she had announced loudly, stunned and a bit bothered by the sight in front of her. From her vantage point, Max had his arms wrapped around Liz from behind and their faces were tilted towards each other - mere centimeters apart.
'Max what was going on out there?' she had demanded as she pulled two plates out of the cupboard. 'Nothing,' Max had shrugged but Isabelle knew that something had indeed occurred outside. She had insisted that she had seen something and he again had just shaken his head. 'I was giving her a basketball lesson,' he had protested but Isabelle had persisted.
'That may be what you call it-' Max had cut her off again before she could say another word. 'Isabelle nothing was going to happen - it's no big deal,' he had assured. Isabelle just stared at her brother with her arms folded across her chest. 'Then why are you putting the orange juice up in the cupboard?'
Max shook his head at the memory. The memory of he and Liz so close. His arms wrapped around her body, guiding her arms, his face so close to her neck, he had been able to inhale the scent of her shampoo and all he had wanted to do was to reach out and stroke her hair, to bring his mouth down on the neck he was so close to. He had been so close to her then. He had felt like he could do anything. Then she had turned around and looked at him and he had known she felt the same way.
The Crashdown was beginning to empty out, Archie and Mack - two members of the West Roswell basketball team -were leaving with a small group of friends and they both slapped Max five on his way in. He had nodded his head in greeting to both of them and walked quietly into the cafe. Liz had just finished her shift and was untying the apron from around her waist and removing the alien antennae from her head. That's a shame, Max thought to himself, she looked so cute in the antennae. If only she knew the truth about him. His mind began to wander. If only she knew that the whole theme of the Crashdown - the myths about aliens, the pictures on the walls, the outfit she wore - weren't such a hoax after all. It was something he always thought about. The thought continually crossed his mind. Every second he was with her. Even when he wasn't. How would she react if he were to tell her? If he were to tell her that he wasn't who she thought he was, that this person that she had let into her life and trusted had been living a lie his entire life. No, Max shook his head, he hadn’t been living a lie. He had been protecting himself. He looked to Liz, who smiled as she finished a conversation with an elderly man seated at the counter. Liz would understand. She wouldn't run away if he were to tell her anything.
"Hey," a voice suddenly sounded from behind him, "you going to go in or you just going to stand out here and stare?" Max immediately recognized that the voice belonged to his sister. He spun around quickly.
"I - uh - I thought you were going out tonight?" he faltered, seeming a bit embarrassed as he opened up the door for Isabelle.
"Change of plans," she said simply walking past him. Max knew why she was here. She had been acting weird around him ever since she had seen him and Liz in the driveway. "Is that cologne you're wearing, brother?" she asked mockingly and Max just looked at her. So much for an evening with Liz. Max could see the disappointment in Liz's face too as she looked up and saw Isabelle. The whole reason she had put in for the remaining part of the night off was because she had wanted to spend it with Max. Without interruptions from Isabelle or Michael or Maria even. Maybe finally she could get somewhere with him.
She didn't get Max. She didn't understand him at all. None of the things he did added up or made any sort of sense at all. She had wailed about the issue over and over to Maria. "Why doesn't he want to be with me??" she would plea and Maria had no answer. Max had mangled his face in defense of Liz. He had turned Kyle and many of his friends against him - for what? Just for she and him to sit quietly and stare at one another? She looked at Max now, who looked as displeased at Isabelle's presence as she knew she did and she nearly pulled out her hair. No matter. It didn't make a difference if Isabelle was there or not. Nothing ever happened between her and Max. Nothing ever would.
Isabelle, Liz, and Max sat awkwardly around the booth. Normally there wouldn't be this uncomfortable atmosphere about them all, but tonight every word any of them said just hung in the air to the point that no one said anything for close to five minutes.
"So what were you planning on doing tonight?" Isabelle asked fraudulently. Max knew what Isabelle was doing and it bothered him. He thought all of this had been resolved. It had been Isabelle of all people who had pushed him last month to stand up for himself and for Liz. Now it was as if they were back to square one - only worse. Now she had to check up on him.
"Nothing - we were just going to stay here...talk," Liz attempted to sound casual.
"What do you guys talk about?" Isabelle was quick to question and she put on one of her trademark Isabelle smiles. The kind of smile she gave the boys who asked for her number everyday. "You talk and talk and talk - what do you talk about?" She looked towards Liz and then harder as she turned towards Max who was seated next to her. She still was left in the dark as to whether or not Liz knew anything. She was afraid to question Max about it - she knew how he would react whether he had told her or not. The whole matter of Isabelle trusting him would be brought up again, then Michael would get involved. The ordeal they had gone through last month would be negated.
"You know...just stuff..." Liz mumbled quietly as Max didn't answer.
"That's my leg, Liz," Isabelle suddenly said in response to Liz's foot against hers, an edge to her voice.
"Oh..." Liz turned her head down, embarrassed beyond belief - like a little boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar only worse. Max looked over at Liz's humiliated face that was quickly turning a shade of scarlet. Beneath the table top he elbowed his sister in the ribs and she just shot him a look.
"I do that all the time," he said quickly and Liz picked her head up quickly, realizing what Max was trying to do. "Remember that time when I did it to Michael?" he glanced toward his sister out of the corner of his eye. "And he kicked me - really hard beneath the table..." Max added grinding his teeth together as he just glared at his sister. She nodded her head in a forced fashion and put on a phony smile, pretending to be recalling the memory. Liz's face was still flushed and as Max looked at her, he quietly moved his foot across to meet hers. He rubbed his foot against the top of hers, against her ankle and she glanced up to see the look on his face. It revealed nothing and so Liz attempted to follow suit. But she couldn't help it. It was the first time Max had ever really returned anything that she'd done. Great she thought to herself, an everlasting game of footsie, but as she looked again to his face she saw in his eyes a silent mischievousness in them. That he liked what they were doing - that he liked that Isabelle didn't know.
"So footsie, huh?" Maria raised her eyebrows as she and Liz shared a carton of Double Fudge Brownie Ice Cream in the back room of the Crashdown. Liz had called her up as soon as Max and Isabelle had left.
"No - Maria, it wasn't just footsie," Liz began to get a dreamy look in her eyes as she put her spoon down. "It was...I don't know..more -"
"More?" Maria looked at her friend skeptically, "more than what? Liz his foot touched yours, I wouldn't really call that..." Maria seemed to be thinking about something, "then again it is Max Evans - that's a pretty big move for him." Liz grabbed another spoonful of ice cream and a smile began to form on her lips.
"Maria, it was...it was like ten times better than like the best kiss I ever had with Kyle," she attempted to explain and Maria just stared at Liz.
"Wait, wait - let me get this straight? You're comparing kissing Kyle - to your and Max's feet touching?"
"I already told you - it was more than that."
"How? How could it be more Liz. His foot touches your foot, your foot touches his - that's all there is to it." Maria waved her spoon around in the air.
"I felt things," Liz protested quietly. "I felt.."
"You felt what?" Maria realized more and more with everything that Liz said how much deeper the whole Liz/Max thing went that she thought. It wasn't just a harmless crush anymore.
"I felt...like I could feel how he felt," Liz admitted softly.
"You have got it bad, girl," Maria just laughed, shaking her head. "I have never in my life...heard you talk like this." Liz bowed her head as she put her spoon into the ice cream carton. She had been speaking the truth. The way she felt with Max was a way that she had never in her life felt before. The way she felt when he entered a room. When he left a room. When they would draw so close together only to be broken up. She didn't know if she could keep doing it for much longer. Keep being...teased like this. What was going on with Max? Tonight had been amazing. It had been unreal, but why did he keep doing this? Keep pulling away. What she had described to Maria, about knowing how he was feeling, seeing it in his eyes - it was the same way that she felt.
All of Saturday passed and the only time Max spent outside of his room was at basketball practice that morning. Isabelle had attempted to ignore it. She thought maybe it would pass. But his sullen mood continued for all of Sunday. He came out only to eat and he kept playing the same Splender song over and over, his mind awhirl with thoughts. Divided into two states of mind. There was Liz on one side, the overwhelming long to be with her, and then there was Michael and Isabelle on the other, tying to keep him grounded. *Well it won't be the first or the last time the world passes me by. I'm a spaceboy. I don't wanna be found. I'm a spaceboy, so stop holding me down and I'd love if I never returned to the ground where I can see all the world going by* Isabelle walked into his room finally, Michael joined at her side.
"Max, what's all this about?" she finally said, not sounding all that sympathetic.
"What's what?"
"You shutting yourself in your room," Isabelle walked towards his stereo. "And quit playing the same stupid song," she quickly hit the stop button as she knew the lyrics were all too fitting for Max. "Listen to something else," Isabelle quickly popped in the first cd she could find.
"I'm...tired," he was slow to get the words out as he laid back down on his bed, glaring at his sister and her sudden authoritarian manner over him. Max had always been the leader.
"Maxwell, Isabelle was telling me what's going on with Liz. Between the both of you." Michael suddenly interfered and Max shot his sister a look. He hoped Isabelle hadn't told Michael about the whole Liz/Isabelle foot incident. That would really humiliate poor Liz. "She's right - I mean...you can't let your guard down completely," he hesitated for a moment. "You can't get..."
"Attached," Isabelle suddenly cut in, "like I know you're getting. You can get involved to a certain extent...I mean - Max, you can't - you have to stop the relationship somewhere. You can't just...can't just expect that somewhere along the line the matter's not going to come up." Max knew what she was referring to. "You can't.." Isabelle continued, but Max just blocked out his ears. You can't, you can't, you can't. That was all he ever heard. Isabelle and Michael telling him not to get in too deep.
*Stuck to a chair, watchin' this story about me. Everything goes by so fast, making my head spin. Used up all of my friends, but who needs them when you mean everything. I love the things that we should fear. I'm not afraid of being here.* Listening to the lyrics Max couldn't help but think of his situation with Liz. It only made him more depressed. Nice going Isabelle. Great selection. Max remember the track title, it was by Lit, a song called "Miserable". Exactly how he felt. The cd player was still on repeat and the more the song played, the more stirred up Max's emotions got. The more frustrated he got and the more his mind drifted back to all the moments he and Liz had had. All the things he felt and all the things he knew that she felt. With the music still blaring out of the speakers and the clock on the wall reading 10:30, Max quickly leaped off the bed and ran out the door. He was on a mission.
Max hadn't even bothered to get in his jeep, all he had known was that he wanted to go to Liz. So he had headed out of the house at a dead run, not bothering what any of the neighbors or passerbys on the street thought. If he didn't go now he never would. Secondthoughts crossed his mind as he sprinted down the road in the pouring rain to the Crashdown, but the song lyrics kept ringing in his head. *I love the things that we should fear. I'm not afraid of being here* And the rain continued to pour. He ran furiously down the sidewalk, the lyrics driving him as he almost chanted the phrase in his head. *I'm not afraid of being here*. He barely saw any lights on in the Crashdown and he nearly stopped in his tracks with the thought that Liz wouldn't be there. He sprinted across the street, the rain pelting his body. He saw Liz putting chairs up on the tables, cleaning up the restaurant before she closed and as she looked up at Max she slowly walked to the door to unlock it. He looked tired, as if he had been up for days, his hair was plastered to his head and he had a look in his eye. A confident look. One that she had never seen before. Max looked through the door anxiously. He knew what he wanted. And every cell in his body was telling him to go for it. To go for what he wanted. His mind drifted back to Isabelle and Michael for a brief moment, but then his mind went completely blank. The worries and fears all disappeared. He looked fervently through the door to Liz and then the lyrics - his oath - filled his head. *I love the things that we should fear and I'm not afraid of being here*.
It seemed to take an eternity for Liz to turn the key and unlock the door. It was as if each second was taking an hour and Max was in agony. Liz was utterly confused as to why Max was here as she slowly pushed the door open. Max knew exactly why he was here. He looked at her once, his eyes nearly burning holes into her head, cupped her face in his hands and then his mouth was on hers. Liz didn't know how to react. What to think of the fact that he had run over here in the rain to kiss her. And how he was kissing her. He was kissing her with such force and such passion, she was overwhelmed that it could come from someone as shy and quiet as Max. He was kissing her as if his life depended on it and Liz suddenly felt something run through her body. It was like an electric charge and she finally kissed Max back. She slipped both her arms around his head and tangled her hands up in his short dark hair - pressing his mouth harder against hers. This was what she had been waiting for since she had first gone out with Max that night in the Crashdown. That night that he had asked so shyly for Space Fries and a cherry coke. And suddenly images of that night flashed into Liz's mind. Images of that night, of the first day of school, the first day Max had ever seen her. That feeling she had had when their feet had met underneath the table earlier that night overtook her again. Images that she had no recollection of began to flood her mind. Two small children wandering through the desert, a small boy of six crying into his pillow, a V formation of stars in the desert. She felt emotions she knew could never belong to her. A loneliness she never knew could exist, a desperate longing she never imagined was possible. Then she saw quick flashes of Max staring at her from across the classroom, in third grade, fifth grade, seventh grade, last year, last week, yesterday and then the images began to blend with pictures of her. The last image she saw was as if she was hurtling to the ground from above and at that she had suddenly pulled away from him in fear.
"Max what - what was that?" She asked breathlessly and he just stared at her. A look on his face that held as much fright as Liz's. She had seen them too. He hadn't known what they were, but she had seen them and who knows what else. Fear crossed his mind like he had never known before and giving her one last look he turned and raced out the door.
The bell signaling first period rang and as all the students scurried to their appropriate classes, Liz stayed planted in front of Max's locker. He always came to his locker before school. He was never late. The clock continued to tick and Liz stood with her feet rooted to the spot. She had to talk to Max. She had gotten no sleep last night. The images she had seen had been real. It hadn't been her imagination - she was positive it couldn't have been. But she could come up with no explanation for them. Had Max seen them too? Was that why he wasn't in school? Why he had fled from the Crashdown last night? Almost all the images, all the visions she'd seen had been of him. Him looking at her - longing for her. And then Liz's mind drifted back to the kiss.
The most passionate, incredible kiss she had ever experienced. She wanted to talk to him about that too. Kisses like that just didn't come along everyday. Guys just didn't appear to you in the middle of the night and kiss you out of the blue. Kiss you like that.
"Liz!" Maria suddenly came slapping down the hall in a pair of noisy sandals, "what're you doing? I thought I saw you in school, Mrs. Tripp's flipping 'cos you're late." Liz gave one last look to Max's locker and followed Maria down the hall to homeroom.
She hadn't expected to see Max in school, Maria hadn't seen him, neither had Alex and she hadn't caught him on his way out of P.E like she normally did. So when she saw him sitting at their lab table as she walked into the biology room she was more than caught off guard.
"Oh...you're here," she mumbled awkwardly as she sat down next to him. Max just nodded his head slightly, avoiding her face and Liz began to take out her notes. Neither said anything and she reached into her bookbag, pretending to be looking for something. " 'cos I was looking for you," she finally said. "I mean - to talk about last night..." Max picked his head up suddenly. He didn't know what to do. Half of him wanted to talk about the kiss. The amazing kiss that had finally come between him and Liz Parker. Then part of him wanted to stay away from the issue - from the visions he'd had, the visions he knew she had. He couldn't help himself as his head turned to face Liz and his mind suddenly blanked out. Like it had last night when he'd walked into the Crashdown.
"I..." was all he could manage to say, but Liz spoke before he could.
"This is gonna sound really..weird, Max - please don't think I'm crazy," Liz looked down at her lab book.
"What?" Max asked softly, his eyes not shifting
from his focus on her.
"I saw things," Liz suddenly said and Max's eyes blazed with fear like they had last night. He quickly turned his head the other way and straightened up in his chair. "You saw them too!" Liz said - almost excited by the notion and Max seemed surprised at the way she said it. "I - I don't know what a lot of them were but...most of them were of you," she said quietly.
"What else did you see?" Max asked with a sense of desperation in his voice as he stared intently at her. "Besides me, what else did you see?"
"I don't - "
"Liz what did you see?" Max asked urgently.
"I...I'm not sure -"
"You had to have seen something," Max interrogated.
"I don't...I don't remember," Liz faltered and she couldn't help the tremble that had developed in her lip.
"I need to know what you saw!" Max yelled and he caught himself too late. Liz looked at him, a hurt look in her eyes. Shocked, confused and hurt.
"Max what's going on?" she asked meekly, "I don't...know what I saw," she knew that her eyes were welling up with tears and she was fighting desperately to hold them back. She couldn't help it. She had never seen Max like this and she couldn't understand why he was acting this way. This morning she had wanted to talk to him about the kiss, not the visions. She could have dealt with the visions later, but now she was terrified by them. Terrified at the way Max was behaving because of them. "Max..." she nearly whispered as the panicked look remained in his eyes. He looked around the room franticly. Ms. Hardy hadn't come in yet and he quickly shoved his books into his bookbag and grabbing Liz's hand, dragged her out of the room. The class looked at the two peculiarly. They knew *something* was going on with Max Evans and Liz Parker. Something more than a friendship, but somehow less than anything further.
"Oh - oh eraser room!" one of them called mockingly, while the rest just cat-called. Max ignored them all as he ran down the hallway with Liz hand in hand.
"Max - what're you doing?" Liz asked breathlessly and he stopped in his tracks.
"We need to go someplace," he stated urgently, "someplace private.." Liz had no idea what Max was planning on doing, or what any of this meant but she picked her head up and looked to the eraser room. The popular make-out spot of all West Roswell students. Admittedly, as she lay in bed last night it was where she had hoped she would be with Max today. But not under these circumstances. Max looked up at the door too. "More private."
Still leading Liz by the hand, Max finally stopped behind the bleachers in the back of the school. He had been surprised by Liz's cooperation. She had asked questions sure, but as he dragged her outside of the school and around to the back she hadn't objected.
"Max, what is this about??" she spoke first as she stared up at him, not releasing her hand from his. Max looked up at her.
"I need to know what else you saw," he said gently, nearly whispering it to her. The panic and fear had left his eyes, now they just looked afraid. They no longer had the urgency and desperation in them. The big brown pools that Liz gazed into now looked terrified and fearful. Fearful of her. Of the words that might come out of her mouth. She was tempted to ask him again why it was all so important, but at that moment all she wanted to do was make that fear escape from his eyes. He looked so terrified. It was that which was scaring her.
"I just saw - I didn't, I mean -" she stumbled over the words and Max's hand suddenly left hers. He tenderly cupped her face in both his hands and Liz felt a chill go through her at his touch.
"Liz please," he whispered staring intently at her, "I just...have to know." And there was something in the last words to come out of his mouth that almost made Liz collapse into his arms right there and cry. It wasn't an order. Now it was a plea.
"I saw this...V of stars in the sky," she uttered quietly and Max's worst fears began to enter his mind. "I saw these symbols. I don't know what they were - they were like a...foreign language" her voice cracked. "I saw...like I was inside of a plane or something, crashing to the ground."
"Where in the ground?" Max asked in a detached matter. Almost mechanical, like his mind wasn't connected to his mouth. Max felt like he was in some sort of a weird and horribly twisted dream.
"The desert," Liz answered honestly and Max suddenly dropped his hands from her face. He began to back away quickly, like he had last night.
"And I saw you, Max," she cried out to him, but he had already begun sprinting away. Away from her. "I saw you," she repeated but he was gone.
Liz walked listlessly through the front entrance of the school and into the hallway. She had begun to chase after Max but realized her efforts were futile as he had quickly disappeared around the corner and out of sight. So she had just wandered aimlessly around the school grounds for the majority of fifth period.
"Hey Liz!" Maria called happily from down the hall as she munched on a bag of Skittles, the complete antithesis to Liz's mood. "So how's footsie been going?" Liz didn't respond and she just dragged her feet along the ground. "Liz!" Maria laughed at her friend's behavior - or lack thereof. Liz shook her head and glanced up to Maria.
"What?"
"Max..." Maria stated, in a state of disbelief as to how her friend could forget, "did you talk to him today?" and it suddenly occurred to Liz that Maria didn't know anything that had happened between her and Max in the last twelve hours. Maria would die right there if Liz were to tell her that Max came to see her in the middle of the night. What he’d done. "Wait - don't you have bio this period?" Maria scratched her head "you and Max both do- and I just saw him -"
"Where?" Liz suddenly asked, showing signs of life. Maria looked at her friend curiously.
"In the math hallway - Liz, what's up...why?"
"I um - I have to go," Liz suddenly began to jog away.
"Liz - what's going on?" Maria asked again as Liz ran off down the hall, leaving Maria like Max had just left her.
"So there's this rumor going around that Liz met Max in the eraser room fourth period," Maria blabbered to Alex as they sat at the lunch table together. Alex had his head imbedded in an Economics textbook and he just nodded his head in repsonse to Maria. "Why would she lie to me? I saw her fifth, I mean if she met him the period before she'd tell me -"
"I'm still a little lost here," Alex picked his head up from the pages, "-are Liz and Max like a thing now" he inquired. "I thought they were just friends."
"And I saw her fourth too - she was all weird. I mean she cut fourth period either way and that's not like her at all." Maria ignored Alex's question, too buried in her own problems.
"So her and Max -"
"And you should have seen her Alex - her eyes were like - all glazed you know," Maria dramatized, "like she was in the hospital with Grandma Claudia."
"Look Maria - I'm sure it's nothing...I mean Liz would tell you if something happened. She's told you everything that's happened between her and Max, why would she keep this a secret? I just want to know if she and Max are-"
"And why isn't she having lunch with us?"
"So are they?" Alex pestered.
"Are they what?" Maria finally responded to his question.
"Liz and Max...are they - you know -"
"They're not together, Alex - it took the boy three years to actually talk to her - the day Max Evans makes a move on Liz..." Maria's voice drifted and she just rolled her eyes and stared at him. "Is the day you go out with Isabelle."
Liz couldn't concentrate in any of her other classes. During Spanish all she could think of was the way Max had looked at her and the way he had fled. Then back to the way he had touched her. A way she had never been touched before. She had been walking down the hallway to her U.S government class and seen him and he had glanced at her quickly and made a beeline for the bathroom. He hadn't been in English and then when she walked into math he had barely looked up at her. She had stepped in uncharacteristically late and had not gotten time to talk to him. He stared up at the blackboard, but he knew she was looking back at him. And when she focused her eyes on the board he would turn his eyes to her. When the bell had rung she had called to him and pushed past her classmates.
"Max!" she yelled, but he shoved his way out the door and when she was in the hallway he was nowhere to be seen.
There was only one more class period left in the day and Liz hadn't spoken to Max since fourth period behind the bleachers. She’d searched franticly for him and was ready to resort to tracking him down and dragging him out of basketball practice when she saw him down at the other end of the hall. He had just turned the corner and his eyes met with hers for an instant before he turned back around quickly and jogged away.
"Max!" she yelled, barreling past other students. They looked at her queerly, some snickered and pointed. "Max, Max!" she continued to yell and as she turned around the corner she saw him jogging away. "Max wait, please," Liz pleaded and Max found himself unable to run away from her. He stopped and slowly turned around to face her. "Why are you running away from me?" she asked and Max could sense the hurt in her voice, "Why have you been avoiding me all day? What were those visions, Max...help me out here, I'm just as scared as you."
"I don't know," Max said honestly and he looked up at her. She wanted to know more, she needed to know. And he couldn't go around avoiding her like this forever. The past four and a half hours had been absolute agony. Seeing Liz in the hall and running away from her. After hearing her last desperate plea to him, he knew he couldn't avoid her anymore. He couldn't lie to her. "I don't know what they were.." he whispered, "it's never happened to me before."
"I mean...but you saw...you saw flashes of me?" Liz asked a bit self-consciously and Max just nodded his head slowly. Suddenly he reached over and took her hand in his.
"Let's go somewhere," he began to walk towards the exit.
"Yeah, but Max - school isn't over," Liz began to protest, but she instinctively followed Max. As if ninth period was actually going to stop her.
Liz looked down at the deep green-blue pools of water from the passenger seat of Max's jeep. They were all connected together, forming intricate designs and patterns contrasted to the dull brown New Mexico desert. Max wasn't looking at the pools though, he was looking only at Liz.
"This is so incredible...how could I not even know this place existed?" she wondered incredulously and Max just shrugged.
"I come here a lot," he said quietly, "it's a good place to be alone." And Liz looked over at him at his last sentence. Touched by all the sadness in those last seven words. She bit her lip, as she looked up at his face.
"You don't have to be alone, Max," she said softly and leaned in closer to him. He leaned towards her too, so that their foreheads were almost touching, but turned his head away quickly. This wasn't the reason he had brought Liz out here. Out here in the middle of the desert. He had brought her here to tell her about the images. The flashes, why they were so important. He didn't think of Michael or Isabelle, all he thought about was the past four hours of lying to Liz, of avoiding her. He couldn't do it. Especially not after the way she was looking at him now, the way she was opening up to him. "I know what you..." Liz began to say and Max dreaded the next words to come out of her mouth. I know what you are. She knew about him. The images had told her everything. She knew everything about him. "I mean in the flashes that I got when we..." Liz paused, "when we kissed - I, I felt how you felt," he breathed a sigh of relief, but his chest tightened at her remark as well. How he felt. That could mean so many things. "It's hard to explain, but - "
"I felt them too," he said quickly, "I mean about you - I..." and Liz blushed at the comment and bowed her head.
"What...what'd you see, Max?" she inquired curiously and he made a movement with the right corner of his mouth. Almost like he was smiling. "What?" she grinned, now fully embarrassed at the things he might have viewed.
"You. Your whole life. Kindergarten, grade school...high school." He didn't reveal much and so
Liz confessed first.
"I saw you..when you were - like six years old," she began to describe in detail to Max what she had seen. "-just crying into your pillow. And I just...the way I felt - I mean you felt...I've never felt anything like that before - I never thought anyone could." Max stared down at the dirty floor of the jeep. He knew what she was talking about. It was the first week after he and Isabelle had been adopted by the Evans. Every night he had sat in his bed and cried until he had fallen asleep.
"I saw you at your grandmother's funeral," Max admitted. "Last month," Liz's eyes moistened at the comment. She had yet to really accept and deal with the death of Grandma Claudia. "I saw you hiding in a bathroom stall at the funeral parlor...crying," Liz's mind drifted back to the memory and her bottom lip quivered. She had been unable to deal with the funeral, unable to deal with seeing her grandmother laying there in that open casket and had excused herself and ran to the bathroom. "You didn't want to cry in front of your father," Max continued, "you wanted him to think you were strong," Liz looked up at him suddenly. Realizing that Max now knew things that nobody else knew. No one - not Maria, not Alex, not even her own family.
"Max? How do you know these things?" Liz finally asked, "how did I know that when you were six years old you cried yourself to sleep every night - wishing for a friend? That for the past ten years of your life you wanted that friend to be me?" Max's eyes stared intently into hers.
"I think you already knew that part," he actually smiled slightly and she just bowed her head.
"Did the visions tell you that?" She asked and Max just shook his head. There was a pause between the two and neither said anything. "So um - Max...how do we - how do we know this? I mean how did we both...see into each others souls," she actually laughed at the statement, at how ridiculous it sounded. Max's bottom lip began to tremble as he realized what he was about to confess to her. Well, he would never get more private than this, he gazed around at the desolate surroundings. "Oh my God.." Liz suddenly covered her face with her hand.
"What?" Max asked worriedly, but Liz just motioned to the clock in the jeep. "My shift started forty minutes ago! My father - Maria, oh my God they're going to kill me. I didn't realize we were out that long," an awkward smile actually formed on her lips. "Can you..can you drive me back? I'm...I'm sorry, but -" Max just shook his head.
"It's fine," he shrugged, but he couldn't just drive her back to work. He couldn't just leave her after a conversation like that. He found himself turning the keys however and stepping onto the accelerator and the jeep began to bump down the dusty road.
"So they've never happened before?" Liz asked suddenly, breaking the silence as she and Max drove down the highway and back to Roswell. "The visions? I mean...those feelings? that...connection"
"Never," Max stated honestly. Isabelle had never told him about anything like that and neither had Michael. The extent to their powers up until Sunday night had been melting cheese on a sandwich or getting rid of stray pen marks on an English paper. Connecting with people - that was something else entirely.
"So...we just - we connected? I mean Max there has to be some sort of explanation, I can't just - I can't just go on with my life and pretend that didn't happen. Pretend what I felt didn't."
"I never said you had to," Max was quick to respond.
"Then - I mean, help me out, Max...I can't help...I can't help but think things," she paused, "think things about why they happened? Why.."
"What do you think?" Max asked fearfully.
"I don't know," Liz shrugged and looked over at him, "but I mean you're not giving me any help. I can't help but think," and Max began to tense up. That was the second time she had said that. What was she thinking? He wished he could connect with her now and see what she was thinking. He wished he could tell her the truth in a vision somehow. Maybe in her dream. That would be so much easier than telling her in real life. But only Isabelle could do that. The conflict was unavoidable now, and he knew he had to tell her the truth somehow. " 'cos I - I haven't told anyone about...about what happened Sunday night. But Max, if I.."Liz hesitated, she hated to sound threatening but she couldn’t help it, "if I don't start getting some answers...I have to talk to someone about this...about us," she looked over to him desperately.
He bit his lip and she saw his mouth tremble a bit as he continued driving down the road. His eyes focused straight ahead.
"I've thought about telling you a thousand times," Max finally said and he knew now there was no turning back.
"Telling me what?" Liz looked over at him and Max gasped as if there wasn't enough oxygen around him. Max had no idea how to tell her. He had thought about it so many times over the past ten years. How he would approach her, how he would tell her, how she would react. None of it mattered now. None of it compared to the fear he felt at that moment.
"I'm different, Liz," Max said softly, his eyes still focused on the road.
"Different...how?" Liz questioned, looking over at Max and she suddenly noticed how taut every muscle in his body was. How he was clinching the wheel and clinching his jaw shut. She couldn't help but grow a little nervous sitting next to him. Max swallowed, his throat was getting dry.
"I'm different in a way...that if the wrong people knew - I could..." Max was unable to finish his sentence and he swallowed again. "I need to know that you're not going to...that what I'm going to tell you isn't going to make you -" Max stumbled, sputtering out phrases and finishing none. He couldn't help it, he couldn't get out any of his sentences. All the moments he had practiced and imagined telling Liz everything meant nothing now. He saw how nervous she was getting and it only made him more tense.
"Max what could be that bad?" Liz asked naively and Max slowly closed his eyes as they entered the outskirts of town. He could make out the glowing flying saucer in front of the Crashdown. He had to tell her now.
"The 1947 Crash," Max suddenly spat out and Liz looked at him bewilderedly.
"What about it, Max?" she actually smiled and it only made what Max was about to say harder.
"I was in it."
Liz looked at him unbelievably at first. She actually smiled and it only tore Max up inside.
"Come on, Max..." she laughed as he drove slowly down the streets of Roswell, drawing closer to the Crashdown. "I mean...I don't - I don't believe in aliens," she said emphatically and his mouth tightened into a line at the last comment.
"Do you believe me?" he asked quietly and she didn't respond. Something about the sincerity in his last statement, the seriousness - the realness of it made her head begin to spin. Fear flashed in her eyes and she felt faint. She felt sick. Liz looked over at Max. Max who she had trusted, Max who she had grown so close to over the past few months. Max who she thought she knew. Max who in just the past minute had bought the entire world she knew crashing to the ground. She quickly unfastened her seat belt and reached or the car door and Max reached over and grabbed her arm.
"Liz, what're you doing?" he asked fearfully, though he knew what she was doing. She was getting as far away from him as she could. "Liz," he called again, his voice wavering as he slowed the car to a stop. She was struggling to get out of his grip.
"Let me go, Max," she actually yelled and all his worst nightmares were slowly coming true.
"Liz, look you have to believe me," he said again and she closed her eyes and began shaking her head.
"Believe you, Max?" she shook her head again and Max could see that her eyes were misty. "How am I supposed to - what are you?" she cried, "what do you - you come to me - you, you, you -" Liz stuttered, "you manipulate me! you -" tears fell from her face now and she was trembling. Max could do nothing but sit there and watch. Watch as his world and Liz's world came shattering apart. She looked at him once and fumbled with the door handle. Max bit his lip as he saw just how truly terrified she was. Throwing the door open with all her weight, Liz nearly fell out of the car. Max opened up his mouth to call to her, but nothing came out as she raced down the street to her home. He didn't make any effort to follow her or to chase after her. He sat there in the car, a numbness about him as he thought back to the petrified look on Liz's face and a horrible feeling began to overtake him. It began as a misty feeling in his eyes, then a tingly sensation in his throat, then a dull ache near his heart. He rested his head on the steering wheel and a single tear dripped down his face. Liz was afraid of him.
Mr. and Mrs. Parker hovered around Liz's bed, utterly confused by what was causing their daughter's sudden illness. She had rushed through the back door, told them she couldn't work today and run up the stairs to her bedroom. That's when they heard the vomiting.
"Lizzie, sweetheart - you okay?" her father had asked worriedly and Liz had managed a feeble response. "I'll bring you up some soup, okay?" he had offered, but as the night went on he realized that sleep and chicken soup wasn't going to help Liz. She had no fever, yet it was impossible to ignore all the things plaguing her. Liz hadn't been able to sleep. She ran up to her room, shut the door and collapsed on her bed. It was all some incredibly horrible twisted dream - no, a nightmare. Max. An alien. She said it to herself again and like she had when he had told her, she laughed. It sounded too ridiculous. Too ridiculous to even say or to think about. She was overcome by drowsiness but she was afraid to close her eyes. She knew it was silly, but she couldn't help but think things. Think and remember that Max had come to her house twice before in the middle of the night. She thought back to those two times. One had been last month, the other had been hardly twenty-four hours ago. She thought back to the visions she had seen. The symbols, but they were muddled with all the things she had felt. All of Max's feelings. *The 1947 crash...I was in it* And a wave of nausea swept over her as she raced into the bathroom.
Liz awoke in a cold sweat. She glanced over at the clock - it read 3:15. She had allowed herself to fall asleep and her sleep had been plagued with the dreams she had feared. Dreams of Max. Her skin was glistening with sweat and she shivered as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She had to shower - had to get rid of this feeling that had overcome her. Careful and quiet, so as not to wake her parents, she crept down the hallway to the bathroom. Her breathing was still quick and shallow and she was taking deep breaths to help calm herself down. She turned the water on hot. Hot enough to shock her back into consciousness, into reality. She had been walking around in a daze since she had fled from Max in the jeep. There was no such thing as aliens, she told herself - but she knew she was lying to herself. Like she had lied to herself earlier when she had told herself she had no feelings for Max. She remembered the way Max had told her, the sincerity in his eyes. Her mind drifted back to their 'first date' - if you could call it that. The night they had walked around Roswell for three hours. So do you actually believe in aliens? he had asked, smiling only slightly. The way he had always talked to her about the sky - about the stars. She let the water run down her body as she closed her eyes and ran her hands through her hair. When she opened them, Max was standing in the doorway - in his worn leather jacket and navy blue jeans.
"What do you want?" she asked aloud, her voice wavering.
"You." Came the low response. Liz blinked twice and took a deep breath.
There was no one at the door.
It was a clear blue day and the sun shone down brightly on everything. On Liz's hair - so beautiful and soft Max reached out and touched it. They were standing close together, in front of the reservoir pools
where Max had taken her once before. He was dressed in his brown leather jacket and navy blue jeans. He tenderly took her face in his hands and grazed her cheek with his thumb.
"Max," she gazed up at him, but he cut her off.
"Shhh..." he edged closer to her. "You have to know who to trust..." he whispered before he moved in and kissed her softly. The only thing she felt at that moment was Max, and he was focused solely on her. It was the perfect kiss -gentle, yet passionate. The kind of kiss that only comes along once in a lifetime. The kind of kiss that feels like heaven. And suddenly the spectacular kiss was broken apart. A man in a suit ripped Max away from her. They pinned his arms behind his back and led him towards the black car that they had arrived in.
"Max!! No, Max!!!" Liz cried, but two other men contained her. "Let him go!!" she continued to scream and wail for him as the two men forced him into the car. "Max -no!!" she screamed loudly as the doors slammed shut and the car sped away. "Let him go!!!!"
Liz sprang up from her bed with a start and back in his bed, in his room - five blocks away - Max's eyes flashed open in fear as he awoke from his nightmare. And he knew Liz had dreamed it too.
Max couldn't help but notice the empty stool next to him in Bio lab the next day. Liz wasn't in school and he knew it was because of him. He knew she had dreamed what he had last night. He couldn't explain why, but he just knew. He had awoke and he had felt her fear as she awoke. He had felt her fear in the dream, just like he knew she had felt his. He hoped she realized her vital role in his future now. His entire existence rested in her hands now. Ms. Hardy was lecturing on about the differences between aerobic and anaerobic respiration but Max was hardly paying attention. His mind was on Liz. On Liz missing school because of him, because of what he had told her. Suddenly his pen began moving and he began to
furiously take notes on everything coming out of Ms. Hardy's mouth. Not for himself. For Liz.
He walked slowly to the Crashdown on his free period. To the back entrance. He was tempted to climb up Liz's balcony, but restrained himself. If she had been petrified of him enough to stay home from school, crawling up through her window might blow any chance he had of explaining himself. Of having her trust him again. God it was horrible knowing she was afraid of him, that she didn't trust him. How was he supposed to explain himself? He had no answers to all the questions he knew Liz would ask. He had as many answers as she did. He knew - or at least thought - that he, Isabelle and Michael had been in the 1947 crash and that was all. A sense of relief passed over him as he was glad that she didn't know that much. For
now Isabelle and Michael were out of the picture. Liz didn't know about them.
Max rapped on the door with his knuckles and it was quickly opened up by a rather flustered looking Jeff Parker, an apron around his waist. Max stumbled over what he wanted to say, and though he wanted to say something nothing came out of his mouth. Mr. Parker stood there for a moment, seeming to recognize Max's face yet unable to come up with a name.
"Max, right?" he suddenly greeted before Max could spit something out.
"Yeah," Max replied, and he couldn't help but think that while Mr. Parker now recognized and knew him, his parents had never even met Liz. They had heard her name mentioned various times but never met her. "I uh...Liz wasn't in - school," Max faltered.
"Lizzie's not feeling too well," Mr. Parker explained and Max felt a wave of sickness rush through him. Because of me, he wanted to say but he just picked up the blue notebook in his hand.
"I brought notes," he said quickly and Mr. Parker smiled to himself at the gesture.
"That's very nice of you, Max. Would you like to - take them up to her?" Max's face dropped at the comment.
"No, no - you can just bring them to her," he trembled at the thought of approaching Liz. God, he felt like he had three months ago. Frightened and nervous to even talk to her. "They're biology notes."
"Thank you, I'll tell her you brought them."
"No don't," Max said a bit too conspicuously and Mr. Parker seemed a bit suspicious by his quick response. "I mean...you don't - you don't have to," Max seemed troubled at the idea of Liz knowing he had been by her house. The last thing he wanted to do was make her more terrified of him.
Max had just barely set foot in the gym for basketball practice when Kyle grabbed him quickly, the basketball falling from his hands.
"What did you do to Liz??" he demanded angrily.
"I didn't do anything," Max replied innocently, confused as to why Kyle was suddenly more furious with him than normal and even more confused as to how Kyle could possibly have known anything had happened between he and Liz.
"Don't lie, Max - Liz never misses school. You know that better than anyone. I see her running from your car crying yesterday and apparently you were the last person to talk to her or see her."
"Kyle, I didn't-" Max began to protest again, worry flashing over him at how quickly Kyle had connected the pieces. He suspected something of Max, simply from what he had seen. He suddenly seized Max by the collar and pressed him up against the gym wall.
"Kyle man, what're you doing?" Archie stepped over and grabbed Kyle from behind. Max attempted to squirm away from Kyle but he only pinned him harder against the wall.
"Kyle man, let him go," the other members of the team joined in, perplexed as to his sudden aggressiveness. Ever since Max's first game as a Comet Kyle had seem irked by Max. He hadn't seemed it - he was. He didn't try to hide the fact that he didn’t like Max. He made it publicly known. He didn't like Max. He didn't like Max with Liz.
"I want some answers, Evans," Kyle ordered and Max just looked fearfully into Kyle's frustrated face.
"I don't have any," Max's voice actually began to waiver, "I have no idea what's wrong with her." As more members of the team circled around Kyle, in defense of Max, he released him.
"I don't believe that," he stated simply. "And I'm gonna find out what’s up. What's been going on with you two, what-"
"Is that what this is about?" Max's mouth turned up at one corner. "Kyle we're not together like that...at all," Max said honestly. At least not anymore. For that one kiss they had shared Sunday night in the Crashdown things in Max's head had fallen into place. That was where he belonged. With Liz. Kissing Liz. But then it all came crashing down with the visions.
"Besides man, you couldn't control them if they were," someone on the team suddenly called.
"Liz wants to be with him and not with you that's her decision."
"It's called jealousy, man," another laughed and Kyle suddenly realized the entire team was on Max's side. The whole team was defending Max.
There wasn't a light on in the gym and the only sign of life inside was the steady and rhythmic drumming of the basketball and the sound of it passing through the net. Practice had ended hours ago, dinner at his house was already over but Max stayed inside the gym. Alone and undisturbed. He hadn't seen her, but he sensed her there and slowly turned around. She seemed surprised by his presence in the gym, as if she had just been passing through. His dribble slowly came to an end and as the two just stared at each other from opposite sides of the gym he dropped the ball. He looked at her with a pained expression, his eyes looking the same as the eyes Liz had seen in the visions when they had kissed. The same confused
expression of the little boy in the headlights.
”I need to get my...English notebook," she explained slowly.
"Yeah," he nodded his head, "yeah we have a big assignment due." It wasn't what Liz wanted to talk about, it wasn't what Max had wanted to talk about, but for some reason they both found themselves talking about schoolwork.
"Thanks for the notes," Liz actually had the makings of a smile on her face and Max just shrugged. At least she was talking to him. She wasn't cowering in a corner. He took a step towards her though and she backed up. The same pained expression returned to his face and he stopped in his tracks.
"I'm not gonna hurt you," Max's voice wavered and Liz just bit her lip, "I realize that you must be..." Max searched for the right word. He really had no idea what it was like to be Liz at this moment. What it was like to have been told something that shattered your entire belief system.
"Hurt," Liz whispered and Max realized that her feeling went much further than basic fear. He didn't say anything and just stared at her from across the gym. "So an alien, huh?" she said it, as if the notion were commonplace. Max actually smiled slightly. "What makes you believe you're an alien, Max?" Max could tell that she still was having trouble grappling with the issue. "I mean I don't..."
"You don't believe in aliens...you mentioned that," he said softly. "Just believe me," he stated simply. "Believe that I don't want to hurt anyone..." he paused, "I'm just like you, I'm just like everyone else." She still seemed to be in a state of shock and Max opened up his mouth to say something when her father entered the gym. He looked over at Max, a bit confused, but noted the basketball on the floor.
"Extra practice time?" he queried and Max just nodded his head.
"Yeah," he was quick to say.
"Good game last week," Mr. Parker nodded his in acknowledgement of Max's twenty point game the other night. Max seemed a bit taken aback and before he could thank Liz's father he turned to his daughter. "Lizzie you all set? You get what you need, 'cos uh - poor Maria's running the Cafe right now," Mr. Parker said it with only a small amount of faith in his daughter’s friend. Liz just nodded her head, though the English notebook was absent from her hand and began to back towards the exit. Her eyes were focused on Max, filled with confusion and still a bit of fright.
"Liz, your English book," he called, not expecting her to stop, but deep down just hoping she would. Hoping she would be able to look him in the eyes again.
Liz sat on her bed writing in her journal that night. Her ridiculous fear of Max still consumed her. But it wasn't really Max anymore. It was the simple knowledge of his existence. The possible existence of others. There were four words scribbled onto her page and she seemed unable to write anymore. Max is an alien. It read and that was all. She wanted to write how much she wanted to trust Max, how much she wanted to believe him. How she wanted to believe that he didn't want to hurt her, that all the time she had known him hadn't really been a lie. But those four words were all she could write. She couldn't seem to get past them. She closed the journal with a deep sigh and walked over to hide it someplace extra secret. Her journal now contained things none others did. Things that no one else could ever know of. As she bent down to place the journal in the bottom drawer of her dresser she felt the hair on her arms go on edge. She felt something, sensed something that made her heart skip a beat. She dismissed the feeling and walked towards her bed. And there was Max.
He wasn't in her room - but her eyes rested on him as he had finished hoisting himself over the ledge and stood on her balcony with his hands at his sides. She blinked her eyes and rubbed them, in an attempt to assure herself that it was just her mind playing tricks on her like it had been last night. But Max walked over to her window and Liz found herself opening it for him. It was as if she was in a trance. Max crawled through the window and found himself standing mere inches away from Liz. She backed up quickly and Max sensed that there was still a fear about her.
"Don't be scared," he whispered, a distressed look on his face. Liz closed her eyes slowly and bit her lip.
"I can't help it," she replied softly. "Honestly Max, I mean - how am I supposed to react to all of this...to - to you," she stuttered. Max wanted to wrap his arms around her then, to tell her he wasn't a monster, that all he wanted was for her to trust him again. But he took one step towards her and she began to back up again. She caught herself moving away and stopped in her tracks.
"You don't have to be afraid," he said with the same distressed look, only now the corners of his mouth began to raise slightly and he raised his eyebrows. "I'd never let anything hurt you." Liz just looked up at him - up into his eyes - knowing she was caught between two different worlds. The one where she remained afraid and frightened of Max, distrustful of him, where she remained in denial over the existence of aliens. She looked up into Max's brown pools, completely honest and trusting of her. Then there was Max. Her world with Max. Trusting Max, believing him. He stepped closer towards her and she didn't back away. Being with Max. He raised his hands towards her face and she flinched. Max hesitated and before he could move his hand to her hair they both heard footsteps outside in the hall, followed by a knock on the door. She looked worriedly towards Max, then back towards the door.
"I'll be right there!" she called and by the time she got to the door Max had left. He had crawled outside the window, across the balcony and was heading down the ladder. He was gone.