Thanks for *everyone* for all the lovely comments. You guys are just awesome and the reason I wrote this story in the first place. It's hard to find Kyle fic out there, so I'm glad I found people who appreicate it. No matter *how* difficult of a ride this is. I swear, I'll stop abusing Kyle in my stories one day. You always hurt the ones you love right?
Okay, on to the story.
Part 11
Six and a half years later
“Tomorrow is a full day. Meetings with both the Sanders and Lawrence accounts. Then you have a lunch meeting with the reps from the San Diego office. Wednesday and Thursday are both pretty clear, just some in house work. Friday you have another meeting with the boys from Vancouver. You aren’t really considering the transfer are you?”
Kyle stopped writing in his planner and looked up at his secretary, Rachael.
“I haven’t really thought about it. Can we keep going? I have to be in the doctor’s office in.” Kyle paused to look at his watch. “Shit, I have to leave in ten minutes.”
“Well, that’s all you have for this week anyway.” Rachael finished up, sticking a pencil back through the bun on the back of her head.
“Great.” Kyle finished with a smile, putting his pen back in the holder on his desk.
His desk.
He still couldn’t believe he was a business man now. When he first got to New York he was strapped to find a job. He just filled out the application for a mailroom boy in some office downtown. Four years later, he’d worked his way up to a cubical. Two years after that he had his own office and beautiful secretary. Not too bad for a guy who barely finished high school.
Kyle’s other accomplishment was that he’d been clean for over six years. No drugs, no sex. Which was easier said than done. The drugs weren’t too bad, the facility he had checked himself into had a wonderful program that held his hand through the rough times.
The sex…
The sex was getting easier to block out, it had been for the past two years.
“Alright, hold all my calls. I’ll be out of the office for awhile.” Kyle said, grabbing his briefcase.
“You know, you’ve been to the doctor a lot lately. You sure everything’s ok?” Rachael asked with true concern. She was the best thing he’d run into in New York. A smart and loyal girl. She also made him laugh.
“Yeah, my allergies you know? They’ve been trying a bunch of stuff, but nothing seems to be working.” Kyle said, as he was walking past her. “Hey, since I don’t have much on Thursday, schedule me down for a lunch meeting.”
“With whom?” Rachael said quickly grabbing her pencil and writing.
“With you.” He replied. “We can discuss your raise and that guy from HR you started seeing.”
Rachael just shook her head, but wrote down what he said, as Kyle left the office.
*****
Kyle rubbed his hands on his suit pants. His palms always got sweaty when he was nervous. The doctor always made him nervous, even more so now.
“So that’s it?” Kyle asked. “We’re done?”
“There are treatments, procedures. Things that can be done in this situation. I know we’ve already gone through all the options together, but I just want to make sure you’re clear of them.”
“I’m clear.” Kyle cut off the doctor bitterly, his hands twitching at his sides.
“My personal opinion?” The doctor asked, Kyle just nodded for him to continue.
“Go to your family. You need them right now and they’ll want to be with you.”
Kyle let what the doctor said sink into his brain. He did have a lot of people he needed to see, he wasn’t sure his family was one of them. They didn’t want to see him.
After he left Tess that was the last he heard of anyone from Roswell. He called Amy every so often, but their conversations were short and strained. He couldn’t let her choose sides like that. Not between her ‘adopted’ son and her real daughter. That wasn’t fair to her. No one from his past wanted to see him anymore, not even that he was finally ready to see them now.
“You don’t have much time.”
Kyle snapped out of his thoughts as he looked at the thirty something male doctor in front of them.
“I know.”
*****
“Get on the internet.” Kyle snapped as he entered the office, startling this secretary. “I need you to look up a Shelia McQueen. Last I heard she was in California, I’m sure she isn’t there anymore.”
Kyle stormed into his office and threw his suit jacket across his desk.
5…4…
Footsteps.
3…2…
Silence.
1.
“Why?” Rachael asked.
Kyle smiled knowing she couldn’t see it. She was always on time, that was why he loved her so much.
“Just do it.” He replied, letting the harshness leave his rough voice. “I’m taking the rest of the day off. Let me know what happens.”
“Kyle you can’t just leave.”
Kyle took his jacket in his hand and left the office, ignoring her pleas to stay. None of it really seemed to matter anymore, except finding Shelia. He had a lot of loose ends to tie up.
*****
“1982 Oak Street, Boston Mass.”
Kyle looked up from the papers in front of his desk to where Rachael was standing in the doorway. He had canceled most of his meetings during the week except the one he had had in the morning. It had been productive, especially with what he was now planning. Rachael had kept to herself after he had told her to reschedule all of his meetings. She was either afraid or worried about him, which one he wasn’t sure.
Now she was standing there staring at him blankly.
“Did you hear me?” She asked.
“Yes.” He replied looking back down at the work in front of him. “But what is 1982 Oak Street, Boston Mass. Have anything to do with me?”
“That girl, Shelia McQueen. That’s where she lives.”
Kyle’s head shot back up. He didn’t think Rachael would find her so quickly. He shouldn’t have underestimated her.
Rachael walked up to his desk and dropped the file on his desk.
“She left California about seven years ago and has been living a small house in Boston. She works in a book store called Starry Night. Cute name if you ask me. Cute girl too. How did you know her?”
“We dated.” Kyle hesitated, looking the file over. “How did you find this much out about her?”
Rachael just laughed before answering. “She’s registered on classmates.com. She has a profile with all that information in it. It wasn’t that difficult to find. That is her right?”
Kyle stared down at the picture and staring back up at him was a girl he used to know. A girl he hurt.
“Yeah it’s her.”
Kyle stood up and packed some things into his briefcase, including the file on Shelia.
“I’m heading up to Boston today. I’m already taking the rest of the week off to go to Vancouver. We decided that in the meeting this morning.”
“What the hell is in Vancouver?” Rachael asked him, an edge in her tone. Any other boss would have been furious at his secretary. Kyle expected it from her.
“The new job.”
“But why?” Rachael asked him her tone drastically changing to that of concern.
“I have family up there, family I miss.”
Kyle sat back down at his desk and motioned Rachael to sit down across from him.
“There’s something else too. Something I haven’t told anyone yet.”
“What is it?”
Kyle took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. “I’m sick.”
*****
Kyle stared at the steering wheel in front of him. When he’d made the turn onto Oak Street, the weight of what he was about to do slammed into him. How was he supposed to face Shelia after all this time? After everything he had done to her. He could still remember the last time he saw her. The barrel of the black gun focused on him, her pretty face scarred with tears behind it. The vision haunted him, but he had to do this. He had to make up for what he had done.
Kyle got out of his rental car and made the long walk up her walkway to the front door. Clutching his briefcase tightly in his fingers, he could do this. Kyle reached the door and let his hand linger over the doorbell before pressing the button.
Seconds past, minutes, maybe even hours, time seemed irrelevant at this point. He wondered for a brief moment if someone was going to answer the door, when the door swung open and a young boy stood on the other side. He looked just like Shelia, only a boy and he appeared to be about six or seven years old.
“Damn it Zachary what did I tell you about opening the door before… I… do.” Shelia’s voiced trailed off as she came to stand at the doorway and was face to face with Kyle.
It was like a time warp, suddenly Kyle was young again, or younger as it would be. And he was showing up at Sheila’s apartment to find solace in her warmth.
I was such an asshole.
“Kyle Valenti? Is that really you?” She asked, in astonishment. He’d be surprised too if he was her. Not only did he waltz back into her life, but he waltz back in dressed in a suit. And sober.
“In the flesh.” Kyle replied, his nervousness coming through in his voice. “It’s good to see you Shelia.”
“I’d say it’s good to see you too, but I’m not real sure why you’re here. It’s been a long time Kyle.”
“I know.” Kyle said, looking down at the ground. He was a very lucky man. She was speaking to him right now. She should have slammed the door in his face already.
“Why don’t you come in? You look like you have something on your mind.”
“Thank you.”
I was such an asshole.
*****
“So what brings you here?” Shelia asked, while fixing herself some tea. Her house was nice, small, quaint, but nice. It was perfect for her.
“Honestly?” He said, fearing the conversation he was going to have with her. He could still hear his secretary crying in the back of his mind somewhere, while the vision of Shelia crying played on the main screen. His brain was so fucked.
“I came here to apologize, which sounds so small and really ten years too late, but I needed to finally tell you how very sorry I am.”
Shelia had her back to him, both hands braced against the oven top. Kyle sat in one of her kitchen chairs and just stared at the back of her. Waiting.
“You broke my heart Kyle. No amount of ‘I’m sorry’ is going to make that okay.”
“I know that Shelia.” Kyle stood up and crossed the kitchen to stand behind her. “I’m not looking for forgiveness, I’m paying for my sins I assure you. Karma finally came and kicked my ass. I just needed to tell you things Shelia. Things I should have told you a long time ago.”
“Like what?” Shelia spun around to face him, there were tears in her eyes, but they had yet to fall. Kyle always made the women he cared about Kyle. It must be a curse.
Kyle turned away from her and went back to sit down. “When I moved to LA it was because I had lost someone. Many someone’s. My father, six of my friends, and… and my girl. They were all killed.”
“Oh Kyle.”
Kyle closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The images of the past were creeping in along the sides of his vision and he needed to hold them at bay, otherwise he’d never finish his story.
“I found them. They had all been brutally murdered and I was the one that found them. It’s taken years, but I’m just now starting to deal with what happened and move on from it.”
Kyle took another deep breath and turned to face her. Now the tears that had been in her eyes were mirrored in his own. “I needed to get away. I lived in such a small town, everyone looked at my differently. So when my mom, who I hadn’t seen in years, showed up to take me away to LA, I went. It was the worst mistake I ever made Shelia. I did so many things I’m not proud of just to forget what had happened. So many women, so many drugs. The pain never went away.”
Kyle stepped closer to her and reached out to touch her hand. He’d never been so happy as when she didn’t pull away.
“The biggest thing I regret is the way I treated you. I did love you Shelia. In a way, but I’ve never gotten over her… I never got over Tess. Losing her. I still love her and I’m sorry I treated you the way I did. You were too good for that.” Kyle reached up to cup her cheek and wiped away the tear that was slowly falling down. “I’m so sorry Shelia.”
“God Kyle.” Her voice broke, and he could tell she was trying to control her breathing. This was a lot for a person to take in, he knew that, and yet there was still more to come.
Just then her little boy came running through the kitchen waving around his toy gun.
“Bang! Bang! Bang!!”
Kyle moved away from Shelia as she went to scold the young boy.
“Zachary go play in the backyard okay honey?”
“Okay mommy!” Zachary said before running outside, still waving the gun around.
“He looks just like you.” Kyle said, coming up next to her.
“He looks like his father too. Damn bastard.” Shelia turned back to look at him. “He walked out on me about three years ago.”
“I’m sorry Shelia.”
“It’s okay.” She replied moving to sit down and motioned for Kyle to do as well. He pulled out a chair and sat right across from her. Close enough though so that he could still reach out and touch her if he needed too.
“I’m seeing this guy now who’s really good for me. A lawyer. I think this might actually work out.”
“I hope so. You deserve it.”
There was a moment of awkward silence before Kyle started again. “Shelia I have something for you, it doesn’t make up for the damage I caused, but I hope it’ll help a little.”
Kyle reached into his pocket and pulled out the piece of paper that had been resting inside. He folded it open to look at it one last time before handing it to her. Shelia picked up the paper and then let out a gasp.
“Kyle, this is a check. A check for ten thousand dollars.”
“I’ve been doing very well for myself.” Kyle said, almost smugly.
“Kyle I can’t take this. No matter how well you are doing, I just can’t accept this. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I want you to have it Shelia. I want to know that you’re going to be okay. Whether you marry the lawyer or not, I need to know you’ll be all right. Put it in an account somewhere, save it for your son’s education. I want you to have it, just in case. It’s very important to me.”
“Why Kyle? What is it you still aren’t telling me?”
*****
“Mom please, you are giving me a headache.”
Kyle had been walking around the same block for an hour, he’d call Amy as soon as he landed in Vancouver, he needed directions to Tess’ apartment. After about an hour lecture, she got him on the right street. Now she was sending him on a wild goose chase. At this rate he should go up to every apartment and just start knocking on doors until he found the one that was hers.
“It’s not my fault I’m getting old and can’t remember these things.”
“Bull.” Kyle said, getting a little aggravated. “Please mom it’s important.”
“What is so important that you can’t tell me?”
Kyle gave out a deep sigh and started rubbing his temples. “I will tell you, I FedEx-ed you a plane ticket up here, it should be there in the morning, now please.”
“It’s the apartment complex with the red roof, she’s in 601 A.”
“Thank you mom. I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you.”
“Wait Kyle.” He hung up on her. He knew he’d pay for that in the morning, but he needed to do this. He needed to face his demons right now.
Kyle crossed the street to the apartments with the red roof and checked the map for 601 A. As soon as he found it he traveled to the flight of stairs and took them two at a time. He was scared, more like terrified, but he couldn’t wait anymore. He needed to get this over with, had to tell her the truth and make everything right again. While he still could.
As soon as he was in front of the door he froze. This is the moment he had been thinking about for years. Not just months, not just weeks, but years. Since the day he left her and left Roswell, he’d been waiting for this. And now the moment was here, and it was not going to play out the way he’d fantasized. He was going to hurt her again.
Kyle brought his hand up to the door and let his fingers graze the smooth surface. He did that for a minute, afraid to disturb the stillness of the air by knocking, but eventually his hand took over and his mind stopped and his hand was knocking. There was the sound, and then silence again. Then he could swear he heard her footsteps. Here the sound of the chain lock being pulled back, heard the small creek in the door and then it was open. And she was standing in front of him, looking just like she had on the day she had walked back into his life after being dead for years.
“Kyle? How… why?”
Before she could utter another word, a little Tess ran up to the door clutching to her feet.
“Mommy!” The little girl shouted, a big smile on her face. The girl looked up at him and her smile got even brighter as she launched herself at his leg and held on for dear life.
“Daddy!”
TBC
: Oh I'm gonna cry... I'm gonna miss my baby so much. Okay, before I cry over this post, here's the new part. 