Why I Love you by Maria Deluca, 1/1, M/M, Teen

[candygurl1718]

Title: Why I Love You by Maria Deluca
Author: Melissa
Rating: Teen
Category: Michael and Maria
Summary: …Post Grad, Maria’s thoughts about her relationship with Michael, sort of.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Roswell or the Character’s of Michael Guerin or Maria Deluca. They belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz and the WB.

Why I Love You by Maria Deluca

The first time I met you I knew you were different…strange, but intriguing. You were an enigma. As a child I loved putting together puzzles. I would connect all the pieces as quickly as possible. It was all about the love of the challenge and the ultimate completion was always a worthy payoff.

You walked into class, sullen, shoulders slumped and your eyes cast on the floor. I don’t think I saw your eyes for the entire first week; you were all spikes and grunts. You refused to answer a question one afternoon when Ms. Hardy called on you. She asked you if you just didn’t know the answer, but you refused to even acknowledge the question, giving her that cold ‘I could give a shit about what you’re saying’ stare. She made you stay inside during recess for an entire week.

I had a habit of talking a bit too much during class, so missing recess wasn’t exactly a rare event for me. Ms. Hardy, the foolish women, decided to leave us alone in the classroom one fine October afternoon. I tried to start up a conversation with you, even though you were weird. You just sat there staring at me, not the same stare you gave Ms. Hardy, but a cold, nearly dead stare. You were trying to intimidate me, but I could see through you. I could see the faint glimmer of fear, curiosity and mild shock.

So, I kept talking. I went on for a full ten minutes before you asked me why I never shut up. So, I asked you why you never talked. You sneered at me. I smiled at you.

We were supposed to be reading "Where the Red Fern Grows", actually I was supposed be reading, but couldn’t concentrate. You tried to focus on the book and ignore me, I’ll give you credit for that. So, I did the only thing I could do. I started throwing Cheerios from my lunch bag at your head. The way your left fist scrunched into a tight ball made me giggle and screech. I think it scared you, my insane reaction, but it also sparked something inside of you.

When Ms. Hardy came in we were rolling around on the ground, me at your mercy, as would be the case again in the distant future. I tried to explain that I had started it and you were just retaliating by tickling me, but she was pretty angry…guess I can understand why. “Maria,” she said, “You are a lady and ladies do not roll around on the ground with boys like that, especially in skirts.” I wanted to roll my eyes and tell her to lighten up, but I knew better and kept my mouth shut. The last thing I needed was for her to call my mom.

Years later standing in the alley I forced myself to remember that little boy who had made me squeal and giggle in delight that day. In fact every time something alien related freaked me out I would flash back to that moment in time. It was my security blanket. You were and are the only security I need.

Admittedly, it was still very difficult for me to think of you as a creature from out of this world, but soon you became my Spaceboy and my fears weren’t of you or what you were. Instead they revolved around my old insecurities. Did you care about me as much as I did you? Would you leave me? Or more truthfully, when would you leave me?

When you left me behind to discover your destiny I could feel a familiar feeling of lost and desperation swelling inside of me, but I pushed it down. I wouldn’t be desperate. I wouldn’t beg you not to leave me. I already knew that didn’t work from previous experiences. I didn’t give up though. I continued to pursue you, no matter how hard you tried to ignore me. Again I thought back to that little boy who had tried the same, unsuccessfully, but tried nonetheless.

After months of fighting the grueling and heart breaking battle I started to gain ground. By Christmas I knew you were just about to start tickling me like crazy. Well, I didn’t really think you would start tickling me, but chances were we would still end up rolling around on the floor of your apartment, or the Crashdown. Or the eraser room. Or Mr. Henderson’s classroom. Or my living room. Or the back seat of the Jetta. Do you remember that time in Max’s bedroom? Good times.

When Alex died I didn’t think I would make it through alive, but you were there. You were my life support, my breath and hope. My fears started to rumble inside of me once again, but you were there to ward them off.

When Liz pulled me into the investigation to discover who Alex’s killer was I was convinced you wouldn’t approve. We were essentially investigating you and in a way even blaming you for indirectly getting Alex killed. You really had grown so much by then. No longer were you afraid of the humans who happened to know your secret. We were no longer the enemy. Your faith in me, desire to protect me and your unwavering encouragement filled me with a feeling of love and acceptance that I had never felt before in my life. It was empowering and frightening all at the same time.

I never had a more romantic or perfect fantasy of the first time we made love, then how it actually happened. You were…beautifully, amazingly…there is nothing I can say that wouldn’t be over the top goopy. The point is I love you more every day for that night.

Walking away from you, even for a brief time, was the hardest thing I ever had to do. The love I felt, feel, for you is all consuming and that used to be a frightening truth to me. Now I know that being with you doesn’t stifle or define me. I am my own person, original and quirky. I just happen to be lucky enough to have a partner in crime.

Deciding to leave with you wasn’t a hard decision. The very thought of you leaving and never being able to see you again was gut wrenching. Your doubt even after we crossed the New Mexico border was completely unfounded. Did you think I left for Kyle…or Isabel, or Max or even Liz? I didn’t. As much as I love them all, if you had left on your own I wouldn’t have even thought of going with them. I loved you too much to watch you slip away.

I have no regrets about our relationship. All the turmoil, all the joy has made us who we are and I wouldn’t change any of it, even if I could.

At one time I would have been petrified to be here. I thought this would be the scariest thing I would ever have to do, but now I realize it is one of the easiest things I will ever do. Seeing you standing across from me, staring back at me with out fear I know that everything will be alright. As I said before you are my security, my protector.

All of my fears melt away when I am with you and I am just simply me. I am free to be myself, express myself with out embarrassment or self consciousness. I never thought I would ever know the feeling of unconditional love from a man and I never knew I could love someone as unconditionally and fully as I do you.

I, Maria Rose Deluca take you Michael Steven Guerin, to love, honor and never obey. I will be not only your wife, but your best friend. I promise to be by your side for the rest of my life. I love you, more than Earth, more than Antar and will love you wherever we end up.

So, with this ring I thee wed…