Thank you all, once again, for the encouraging feedback and the countless bumps and all of the extreme, deeply appreciated patience.
LairaBehr4 - You are amazing and wonderful and have I ever told you how much I appreciate you? I hope your month gets better from here.
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Allie Xie - I'm a sucker for happy endings, I can tell you that much.
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Thursday' s Child
Max/Jason Luver
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Dreamer 4 Ever
Part 28
Max was silent, staring at his dried blood on the carpet not too far from him. He fiddled with the shoelaces on his Converses before turning his head slightly, facing Liz. He spoke shakily, his voice so soft she almost didn’t hear it over the wind against the trailer, “Can I hold you?”
Liz nodded, tears in her eyes and her heart in her throat. Max leaned back against the trailer’s wall and opened his legs, allowing room for Liz to sit. She picked herself up and settled herself between his legs, leaning herself back against his chest.
She felt Max relax against her. His arms draped over her and she felt him lean forward, resting his chin on her shoulder. He sighed, closing his eyes.
He didn’t know why he was allowing himself to get this close to Liz, or why he was letting her get so close to him. He was probably being selfish, but, he needed her. He needed to be able to feel the motions of her body as she steadily breathed, he needed to feel the warmth of her skin, and he needed know that it was all real.
Her presence was reassuring; simply having her here was enough for him to know that he could make it through the night.
She was the apple in his Garden of Eden. He had been warned not to get too close, but he couldn’t resist her. His heart was slowly winning over his mind, no matter how many times he’d tried to emotionally detach himself from her.
And, even though it was making him hate himself even more, his heart was screaming that he needed her. So he had selfishly given in and caved to his heart’s demands. He didn’t like it, but he was doing it.
Liz’s phone rang, causing Max to jump. His face paled and he shifted slightly away from her.
Liz checked the caller ID and looked at Max, her voice thick with her unshed tears, “It’s Michael. I have to answer it. Everyone’s out looking for you.”
“No!” Max shook his head, “I don’t want them here. Don’t answer it.”
“I have to answer it.” Liz stated softly, “They are worried enough as it is with you disappearing, they don’t need me to disappear, too.” She slowly got to her feet.
Max’s hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. His voice was frail and strained, “Please don’t leave me.”
She turned back to him, tears shining in her eyes, “I’m just going to go into the next room, okay?”
Max hesitated and his lips tightened, but he nodded. He released her wrist and squeezed his eyes tight, trying not to picture himself sitting alone in his room. He didn’t want to be alone, not now that Liz had found him. He needed her.
Liz walked into the kitchen and answered the phone, “Hello?”
“Liz? Where are you? Did you find him?”
She paused, looking back over her shoulder, “Yeah.”
“What?! Where?! Why didn’t you call us?!”
“He’s not doing too well, Michael. I mean, he’s not hurt… but… he’s so… he’s not doing well.” She concluded softly. She didn’t want Max to be able to hear her.
“Where are you guys?!”
Liz gulped. She wanted them here, but she also didn’t want to lose Max any further, “I don’t know if Max wants me to tell you.”
“Liz,” The voice grew sterner, “Tell me where you guys are. Don’t be stupid.”
“He needs some time before everyone comes. It would kill him for everyone to see him so vulnerable, you know that.”
A pause. “I need to know where you are.” His voice was strained, like he was fighting to control his panic. He begged her, “Please.”
“The trailer.” Liz exhaled. She couldn’t put the family through any more torture than what it was already going through. It wasn’t her place. She clarified, making sure her last statement was clear, “We’re at Hank’s trailer.”
“Thank you.” Michael sighed in relief, “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“No, that’s stupid. I have my car here. I’ll bring Max back in a little bit, I promise.”
Liz could practically hear Michael seething, “Fine. But if you’re not back here within the hour, I’m coming to get you two.”
“Bye.” Liz hung up the phone and wiped at her face. The tears that had threatened to spill with Max had surfaced during the phone call and she didn’t want Max to know. Once she was satisfied that her tears were under control and her face was remotely dry, she turned to walk back into the bedroom. She gazed in and saw Max trembling against the wall, his eyes clenched closed.
Liz hurried over to him and sat next to him, placing her arms around him and drawing him into her warmth.
Max whispered, “I thought you’d left.”
Liz smiled, “Why would I want to do that?”
“Why wouldn’t you after what I just told you?” He stated grimly.
“Stop saying things like that. You know that I care about you.” A pregnant silence descended until Liz decided to speak again, “Why did you run? We were all so scared for you.”
“Because. I was expecting…” he paused, “for everyone to start seeing me as Hank sees me.”
Liz held him tighter, “We’re not like Hank. Don’t ever think that.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Well you’ve got plenty of time to learn new habits.” Liz was trying her best to raise Max’s spirits. The thought reminded her, “I told Michael where we are. He made me promise to bring you back within the hour.”
Max stiffened. His heart jumped into his throat, “Is Isabel there?”
Liz nodded, “Probably. Diane and Phillip, too. Everyone was really worried.”
“Isabel’s there,” Max repeated. “I should get cleaned up a little. She hasn’t been doing too well lately. I can tell. It’s my fault.”
“What? Stop blaming yourself for everything.” Liz chastised him.
Max shook his head, “No, she told me that she has nightmares of Hank and I. That she hears me screaming in her dreams. I’m her brother. I should be protecting her, not scaring her.”
“You should talk to her,” Liz encouraged him. “She misses you. We can all tell.”
“She shouldn’t.” Max shook his head, “She’s free.”
“Max.” Liz scolded.
He got up from his spot slowly, wiping away his tear stains on his shirt. Max stood, and he leaned back against the wall. He was sweaty, visibly exhausted in every way possible, and the markings from where Hank had hit him were becoming more prominent as the bruises set, but he would have to make due with what he had given himself to work with. He would have to act okay for Isabel.
Liz mimicked his shift in position. She looked sideways at him.
“We should go.” Max nodded towards the door, “Everyone’s waiting.”
Liz bit her lower lip, “Are you okay? I don’t want you to think that you’re ready to go back if you really aren’t.” She attempted to smile, “I wouldn’t know where to look for you if you ran a second time.”
Vulnerability shone in his eyes again, “I don’t know. But I have to try to be, right? I can’t ever break down like that again. I can’t afford to.” He shook his head slowly, “I don’t know how I let it happen this afternoon.”
“Your walls had to crack at one point.” Liz conceded.
“Leave it to me to have it happen in front of all of those people.” He spit, his anger with himself growing.
Liz placed a hand on her arm, stepping so that she was directly in front of him, “Max, you’ve got to stop being so hard on yourself.”
Max shook his head, obviously about to say something, when wind picked up outside the trailer, causing the metal to groan. The noise was amplified inside of the trailer, causing what would normally be a whisper to sound like a horrifying moan. Max’s hand shot out and latched onto Liz’s. He squeezed his eyes shut again, “Get me out of here. Please.”
Liz nodded; her heart feeling like it was being ripped from her chest for the millionth time that week, she kept her hold on Max’s hand and slowly led him from the room, through the trailer, and out of the door.
The car ride back, Liz and Max didn’t stop holding hands. Max’s firm grasp on her had her fooled for a little while; she was distracted by it for a full ten minutes before she looked out of the corner of her eye and realized the rest of him was shaking. Every shadow that fell across the car, Liz felt Max’s body seize up in fear.
She pulled the car over to the side of the road, her thumb starting to rub the back of his hand reassuringly, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Max muttered, his eyes never leaving the outside of the car.
“You’re shaking.” Liz pressed.
Max nodded, “I’m fine.”
Liz nodded, silently, but she didn’t start driving again. She gazed out of the windshield, mimicking Max’s movements. Their hands remained firmly clasped.
After a few minutes, he spoke, “I’m just afraid of what they’ll say when we get back.”
“You can go straight up to your room if you want.” Liz shrugged, “I’ll tell them that you’re exhausted, and that you don’t want to talk about it tonight.”
Max looked at her, hopeful, “You’d do that?”
“If you promise me not to run again tonight, then, yes.” Liz turned to face him.
Max nodded.
Liz gave him a faint smile, and restarted driving. His shaking subsided for the most part, only small quakes coming every few minutes, and Liz figured it was from all of what he had to go through tonight.
They arrived at the house with fifteen minutes to spare. Liz felt Max’s hesitancy when she separated her hand from his in order to leave the car, “I’m not going anywhere without you.”
Max nodded and exited the car.
The two rejoined hands as soon as possible and Max turned to Liz, “I don’t think I can do this.”
“Sure you can.” Liz smiled lightly, “Nothing’s changed.”
Max started to pull away from her, but Liz wouldn’t let his hand go. He stared down at her, “I’m not stable, Liz. I completely lost myself in the trailer. I don’t want to let that happen in their house. I can’t trust myself.”
Liz shook her head, “I’ll keep you grounded. I won’t let you get lost. If you don’t trust yourself, do you at least trust me?”
The question hung in the air, and Max slowly nodded his head, “Of course.”
“Okay.” Liz squeezed his hand, trying to mask how happy she was to know that she at least had some amount of status in Max’s life, “Let’s go.”
He didn’t stop her this time, so she continued forward.
She opened the door and its creak seemed to reverberate around the entire house. Instantly, she heard footsteps coming in their direction. Isabel launched herself into Max’s arms, sobs escaping her throat. She whispered, “I’m so glad you’re alright. I don’t know what I would have done if you’d left.”
Max didn’t respond, but he slowly pulled himself out of Isabel’s grasp. He kept his hold on Liz, his grip becoming tighter by the second.
Michael was leaning against the door frame, trying to keep a cool demeanor, but Liz could see past it. She saw the deep circles under his eyes and the worry flickering within them. He nodded to Max, “Good to have you back.”
Max inclined his head slightly, giving him somewhat of a recognition.
Isabel stood dejectedly to the side, looking like she was going to burst into tears at any second. She kept looking from Max’s face, down to her feet and then to Liz and Max’s joined hands.
Diane and Phillip, Liz now noticed, were standing next to Michael. Diane’s eyes were red and puffy, “Are you okay, Max?”
Max nodded his head.
Liz spoke up, “I’m tired. Michael, you look tired. Who all is tired?”
Phillip nodded, “She’s right. Max, you look exhausted. You should head up for bed.”
The group nodded and started to move. Michael cleared his throat, “Isabel, you and Liz can crash in my room tonight if you want. I want to sleep on Max’s floor tonight.”
He made eye contact with Max, “I need to.”
Max nodded.
Liz jumped in, “Me, too. I need to.”
Isabel nodded as well.
Diane smiled lightly, “I’ll gather up some blankets from around the house and a few spare pillows. I think we might have a few air mattresses tucked away somewhere.”
Max didn’t even try to fight it. He needed them, in a way, to get him through the night. He knew that the shadows would eventually become too much to hide from and he would welcome seeing their sleeping forms around him.
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Liz slowed her speed down on the swing, smiling slightly at the free feeling. She had loved the swings ever since she was a little girl.
She glanced sideways at Max, who was sitting idly on his own swing. They were just across from the courthouse, in a small park in the middle of the square. Plenty of old oak trees provided them with privacy.
Liz spoke tentatively, “How are you doing?”
“I’m better.” Max nodded, more to himself than to her. He took a breath, “I’ve met with Dr. Richfield twice in the last two days.”
“Dr. Richfield?” Liz asked, surprised.
“My therapist.” Max admitted, “Just a third party to talk to. Diane thought it would be a good idea for me to talk to a professional about everything.
“Oh.” Liz nodded. She was glad that he was getting help. She definitely hadn’t expected it – but it was a good thing. She was sure of that. “What did she say?”
“The episode two nights ago was a mixture of rolling panic attacks. One kept leading into another until it led me into paranoia. That and a minor case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.” Max said softly.
Liz nodded, “Is there anything you can do?”
“Uh… some psychobabble stuff. She thinks that my trigger is Hank, and since I don’t plan on seeing him ever again, I don’t think it will be that much of a problem.” He shrugged.
“You’re sure that you don’t want to go to the courthouse?” Liz checked her watch, “There might be a little left in today’s session. And Mr. Evans said jury ought to have the verdict in by today.”
“I’m done with Hank.” Max said warily, “I don’t want to have to deal with him anymore. He’s out of my life.”
Liz looked at him sympathetically, “I can understand that.”
“Thank you.”
They sat in a comfortable silence after that, and Liz resumed her swinging. Everyone else and half of the town was in the courthouse, awaiting Hank’s verdict. Liz had elected to stay behind with Max. She had expected Isabel to stay behind as well, but Isabel seemed determined to go in and face Hank one last time.
She and Max had been touch and go since the other night. She had to constantly feel around for his comfort zone and be careful not to cross it. At the same time, she had to guard her own feelings. She was, without a doubt, in love with Max. But he didn’t see her as anything more than a friend. If he did see her as more than that, he was doing a hell of a job hiding it. She didn’t know if she would be able to take the strain on her heart.
But she had to try, for Max’s sake.
Her parents and the Evans’s were very understanding when it came to her and Max spending time together. All of the adults around them were desperate to set his life back to a quasi-normal existence, so they were allowed to stay up late at night, go for walks whenever they felt like it and do whatever they wanted.
Liz knew that it wasn’t going to last forever – that at some point, rules would be imposed upon them – but she was happy with what they had. She hadn’t left Max alone since she had found him in the trailer, and she wasn’t planning on leaving him alone until she was confident that he was assured of his importance and worth to everyone around him.
She also knew that Diane and Phillip had sat down and talked with Max about what had happened, but Max didn’t seem all too phased by it. If anything, when he came out of the kitchen from talking to them, Liz was able to see a little more life in his eyes.
Isabel and Michael had tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t hear of it. If they ever attempted anything other than meaningless small talk, he would shrug them off and walk in the opposite direction.
As for Alex, Maria, Kyle and Tess, Max wanted nothing to do with them. No matter what Liz said, he was convinced that they were getting sucked into his life against their will.
She knew that there would have to be something done to get Max to change his opinion on his peers, but she didn’t know what yet.
Liz started to swing again.
Max’s voice broke her thoughts, “Liz, you don’t have to watch me. I promised you that I wouldn’t run away again, and I’m a big boy. I can handle myself.”
“I’m not guarding you, Max.” Liz smiled, “I just like to spend time with you.”
It was true. Max’s very presence calmed her. Her underlying feelings of guilt in regards to him washed away when he looked her in her eyes.
“You’re giving up your life so that you can make sure I’m eating right and going to bed when I should.” He stated blandly.
“I’m spending time with a friend.” Liz repeated adamantly. “But if you want me to back off, I will. I understand if you’re sick of me.”
Max shook his head quickly, “I’m not sick of you. But I think… that I need to work on standing on my own two feet again.”
Liz looked sideways at him and could see something in his eyes that apparently he had been hiding. He felt suffocated by everything that had been happening lately. She smiled lightly, “I completely understand.”
“But,” Max added hastily, “we’re still going to hang out tomorrow, right? I mean… I like hanging out with you.”
Liz’s smile grew even more, “Of course.”
It was then that they noticed a flurry of activity from in front of the courthouse and people stream out. A group of people made their way into the park.
Michael led the group, a look of extreme satisfaction on his face. Behind him, a completely enthralled Maria, Tess, Alex and Kyle were all flocking around Isabel. Isabel looked sort of sheepish, but she, too, looked satisfied.
“Well?” Max looked at them, “What happened?”
“You are NEVER going to believe this!” Kyle laughed, unable to contain his happiness.
Tess continued, “Just before the jury read the verdict, Hank asked the judge if he could apologize to you and Isabel.”
“Well, you weren’t there, so it was up to Isabel…” Alex added.
“…and Isabel walked right up to that little partition between Hank and everyone else…” Maria supplemented, due to Alex’s unbreakable proud smile.
“…and I slapped him.” Isabel said quietly, looking at her feet.
“Right across the kisser.” Kyle almost screamed and grabbed Tess, dancing happily around the park.
“The entire courtroom just froze, but Isabel held her composure and turned and walked right out of there.” Michael couldn’t help but smile, “Hank was so pissed after she left. Especially when they read the guilty verdict.”
Tess called over from her position by the slide, where she and Kyle were still dancing happily, “The judge is having a sentencing hearing tomorrow with Phillip and Hank’s lawyer. I don’t think he’ll get off easily, though. The judge saw right through Hank as soon as he started to get pissy when Isabel walked out.”
They all paused for a second, turning to see Max’s reaction to all of the news. Their smiles only grew even larger, if possible, with what he did next. Max got off his swing, and drew Isabel into a large hug, a genuine smile on his face. He whispered into her ear, “I’m so proud of you.”
Isabel smiled back, her eyes dancing in delight. It was the first time she had been completely happy since she had realized what Hank had been doing to Max all of these years. Hank was out of their lives for good, and her slapping him across the face like that made her realize it fully.
Max’s smile didn’t fade as he withdrew from the hug and placed a kiss on Isabel’s cheek.
Isabel smiled stupidly at him for a minute, her fingers touching the place on her cheek where he had kissed her. Never before had Max initiated any kind of contact between them with her actually feeling like he meant it. Never before had he smiled when he was around her.
Alex was equally as surprised when Isabel put her arm around him and drew him in close to her. Since everything with Max had happened, she had been too distant, even hinting that they might not be fit to be in a relationship together. He smiled some more and placed a kiss on the top of her head.
Liz turned to Max, a happy tear in her eye, “Thank you.”
“For what this time?” He looked at her seriously, but she could still see the glimmer of happiness and amusement in his eyes.
“Treating Isabel the way you just did.” She smiled some more, “You have no idea how much it means to her. Especially coming from her brother.”
Max smiled and shrugged. What had started as a horrific week was quickly looking up. The sun was shining much more brightly, and the storm from a few nights ago had renewed a bunch of flowers that had popped up recently.
Max knew that if he kept trying, he would be able to get past all of his demons. Because, after getting past Hank, anything else would be a piece of cake.
A voice came from the entrance of the park, shouting over the shrieks of happiness and laughter coming from the group (Alex and Maria had joined Tess and Kyle in their happy dance a few seconds ago), “We’re celebrating the verdict back at the Crashdown. Let’s get a move on, you’re starting to scare the kids.”
Liz looked around and laughed. A pair of twins in the sandbox a few feet away from them were staring at the group with wide eyed fear.
Max followed her gaze and looked at the pair, offering them a quick smile and wave before heading off after everyone else.
TBC...
