tinie38: Yes Sean did ruin everything but don't worry ,, you know my writing my now

thanks for sticking with this story kris...love seeing you here!!
AllAboutEyes509: Lol! loved your feed back ...if only it was that easy!! Thanks so much for your awesome relpy..hope you like the next part!
begonia9508: your right there is no excuse for anyone to be abusive but hopefully I have some insight into Sean's anger in this chpt. ..love that you are always here ..thanks so much Eve..I appreciate all your fb!!
Cocogurl: Whew!!

so happy you don't hate me after that last chpt.is seems im always leaving you at these very intense parts ..love seeing your fb ..I always look for it thank you so much!! hope you like the next part!!
angelina: hello sweetie! I agree with everything you said and Im so happy to see your replies as always!! thank you so much for being here!

hope you like the next part!
Natalie36: Oh Natalie I swear you leave the best fb...love it as always! thank you!!!!!
L-J-L76: Thanks so much for your fb!! i hope some of your questions are answered here... and thanks so much for wanting me to come back ...love seeing you here!!
forever dreamer: I really respect your opinion and I really hope you don't feel like an outsider because I don't think you are alone at all in your feelings... and I certainly don't think that cheating the right thing to do... I hope that this update clears a few things up and sheds some light on Sean's behavior.. I loved your sharing your thoughts with me ..please don't hold anything back I really want to know how you feel about my story!!! thanks again really!!
Kissme 4ever123: Im so happy that you are loving this story ...makes me so happy when I get fb like that..i hope you enjoy the next part ..thank you for letting me know how you feel!
Flamehair: wow the fact that my writing left you breathless and having goosebumps just made my day !! thank you so much! and give Leo a big kiss for me!!
IheartMax: Hello my favorite person!! Yes he certainly is acting like a
beast 
isn't he! If I were Liz I would definitely be grabbing some well deserved happiness...I think I sense something happening very soon to make you happy IheartMax!

thanks so much for everything and for you just being you which is always amazing!
dreamerfiend: I think you have every reason to be optimistic!

It just might take a while ..thanks so much for your wonderful fb!!
ms_BuffyAnneSummers:thank you so much for your fb!! it is so appreciated!
Jessibelle47: some sort of explaination is coming up next...I hope it clears some things up for you..thanks so much for your great fb!!
Aurorabee: you are very right ...they all had made bad choices but and I love what you said ..hopefully I cleared some things up here ...but don't be afraid to let me know what you think..thank you so much for your awesome fb!
true bohemian: Lol

I think Max would love to do that actually but I don't see it happening ...love your fb thanks so much for being here!
futuremrsmcdreamy: thank you so much I hope you enjoy the next chpt..! I appreciate the fb!
Timelord31: really happy you like the past couple of chpts.. so happy you are here!! thank you!
Hello everyone...I think this next chpt might be a little controversal especially the end..
All Im asking is that everyone keeps an open mind...just try to imagine what you would do if you were in their shoes and lived through the kind of pain that they have endured.
I'm not saying anything is right or wrong here Im just trying to tell a love story.
Please don't be afraid to let me know what you think good or bad.
Hope everyone is doing well ...sorry I was gone for so long..hope you enjoy
Chapter 9.
A broken Liz stared out the window watching the blur of the street lights go by. She wondered if she closed her eyes tight enough and wished hard enough she could make herself disappear.
Sean sped down the winding roads that led to their house in a strange silence. She looked over at him once and could see his jaw tighten and his white knuckles clutch the steering wheel. Every once in a while he would punch the dash making Liz jump and her muscles painfully tense up.
He had seen her run to someone’s car…seen the dark haired man protectively place his hand on her back. He knew she wasn’t alone…he knew why people went to motels. He also knew that this was coming …her distance… her coldness in bed …the way she would turn away when he tried to kiss her. It had been several months since they had even had sex and before that it would always be something that he would initiate.
Thoughts of her with someone else tore at his insides. Wasn’t it him that was always was there for her. When she was devastated from Alex’s death it was him that stood by her …when Max took off with his pregnant girlfriend he was there to pick up the pieces…and when that final blow came the day her parents died in a horrible car accident and everything she knew was gone he was the one that gave her all the love and support.
He always thought is would be enough that someday she would recognize all he had done and her heart would see in him a love that was more than just a friendship.
He thought if he took her out of Roswell far away from all the painful memories that were haunting her she would be able to start fresh…that somehow it would be easier.
He painfully remembered their talk when she finally said yes after his several attempts at proposing.
“I can’t lie to you Sean …I don’t feel the way …the way a wife should feel about her husband…I do love you but not the way you deserve me to and I can’t promise you that my feelings will change…please be sure that this is what you want”
He recalled how he begged her to marry him …saying he would be patient …saying he thought it was because of all the loss she suffered that she felt that way…he remembered convincing himself that over time those memories would fade and be replaced by new happy memories and she would fall in love with him.
Only that is far from what happened. He watched as she grew more quiet and distant from him every day. He watched helplessly as her suffering only got worse. He could see the regret and guilt in her eyes every time she looked at him. His stomach twisted every time they would make love and she would lie motionless underneath him with her eyes shut as if she was trying to put herself anywhere else but with him.
That’s when the late nights at the bar started. He dreaded coming home to her sad eyes as she would sit and stare out the window. He always suspected it was always Max …that it was him she couldn’t let go of. The day he found the box hidden in her closet was the day he knew for sure.
He knew it was wrong going through her stuff but at that point her privacy was the last thing on his mind. He needed answers … he needed to know why she wouldn’t even discuss children with him why everyday she seemed more lost than the last.
She had hid it underneath a pile of her old Science books from when she attempted to attend a small community college when they first arrived in Connecticut. It was filled with pictures and memories of Max. Old movie stubs , poems that he had written her , dried white rose petals. Several little notes that where obviously special to her.
As he held these reminiscences of their love in his hands rage and pain consumed him. After everything after all this time …she was still giving all her love and devotion to Max. A boy who broke her heart and got another girl pregnant and abandoned her.
This is who her heart belonged to …after twelve years she still didn’t let him go and at that moment Sean knew she would never let him go. Fury flowed through his veins as he tore at the pictures and the faded yellowed papers. Her love belonged to him …he deserved her not some boy who had discarded her all those years ago. He decided right then and there that if it was pain that she wanted if it she was happy to wallow in misery than that was what he was going to give her.
A mixture of hurt and rage pounded through his body. His insecurities of his father telling him how he would never amount to anything and that he was the reason why his mother left when he was just a boy echoed over and over in his head. The constant beatings he endured at the hands of his alcoholic father coursed through his mind.
Between what he had found and the failure that he felt he had become he was out of control. A rage that had been building up for a long time was coming to the surface and Liz was about to walk right into it.
He took one look at her and all the pain and rejection he had felt his whole life had burst to the surface. When she looked down at the box and all of her precious memories held in his Sean’s hands she knew that even her private thoughts were now something she couldn’t even have for herself.
“OH MY GOD SEAN NO!”
She ran over to what was left of her memories of Max and tried to pry it out of his hands.
“Please …please this is all I have left of him!”
With one strong push Liz went flying across the room and up against the wall. She watched in horror as he destroyed the words the imagines of what was left of her heart.
After throwing what was left in the fireplace and burning it Sean had left for the bar ..which is where he spent most of his time after that night.
Liz thought of leaving …she even went as far as to pack a suitcase but where would she even go. She felt so lost and alone. Going back to Roswell seemed like a worse fate than staying with Sean. Her parents were gone her friends all happily married and living their own lives. She didn’t even know who she was anymore. Conversations with Maria became almost impossible she couldn’t pretend to be that person she was anymore. It was all too painful to remember all the promise that her future held for her and the people that she loved dearly that she would never see again.
She had no idea what to do or where to go with her life and was afraid of what Sean would do if she ever did try to leave. So she stayed and night after night held onto the only picture she had left of Max …the only picture Sean had not found.
She hid it in a book by her bed and would stare into the eyes that would hold her heart forever.
Liz could see their house approaching up the street and her heart felt like it would explode from fear.
“Get in the house!” Sean screamed . “GO!”
Liz quickly opened the door and sat at the kitchen table staring at the chair that Max had been sitting in just a short time ago.
Sean staggered in the room and fumbled through the refrigerator for a beer.
After taking one long slug he turned the chair around and slammed the bottle on the table.
“Now Liz you need to listen to me very carefully …you have one chance …one chance…to tell me who you were with”
Liz stared down at the flowered placemat while her mind searched for an explanation…but all she could think about was his arms around her ..his lips on her skin ..his voice whispering against her neck.
“I-I was upset Sean I just needed to get away for awhile …I needed to be alone”
“LIAR!”
Liz lowered her head further down so her hair was now covering her tear stained face.
“I SAW YOU …I WATCHED YOU GET INTO A CAR WITH SOME GUY”
“Sean your drunk we can’t talk about this now …we can talk about it in the morning .. it’s not what you think …get some sleep and I promise we’ll talk in the morning.”
“NO LIZ WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW !”
Liz could see that this was quickly getting out of control …she didn’t know that Sean had seen her with Max and she had no idea what to say to him.
Suddenly Sean stood up and threw the chair across the room and smashed the bottle against the wall near her head.
Liz quickly ran into her bedroom and locked the door.
“OPEN THE DOOR LIZ!”
“L-Look Sean please he was just a friend I needed someone to talk to …you know …you know I can’t be with anyone …you know I can’t do that Sean…just please go sleep it off on the couch and I promise we’ll talk in the morning”
It was low and she knew it … but she also knew he would understand what she meant and he would believe her.
Suddenly he heard his voice whisper against the door.
“Yeah I know …you can’t sleep with anyone but the almighty Max…your precious Max”
She heard a thump at on the door and knew he was getting close to passing out. Slowly she opened the door and helped his sluggish body to the couch.
As she pulled the quilt over his limp body she heard him slur his last sentence before falling asleep.
“You’re never going to love me are you Liz”
As she climbed into her bed and clutched her worn picture of Max it wasn’t shame or guilt she felt. The abuse and emotional pain that Sean had put her through left little room for those emotions anymore.
She knew all that he had done for her and she knew the horrible childhood that he endured but she also knew that she had told him from the beginning how she felt. He knew she wasn’t in love with him and it was his choice to take the chance that those feelings would change. It was also his choice to make her pay for something she could never give him.
The only thing she felt was the need to feel Max’s arms holding her body…his breath against her skin…his heart beating close to hers. The hours moved by like seconds as she stared at her clock just waiting for the moment she could see him again.
Max stood shaking outside her window. He had to know that she was safe. He knew that what he was about to do was stupid and dangerous but at that point it just didn’t matter.
Liz’s eyes flew up to her window to see his finger pressed to his lips for her to be quiet. As he entered her room his mouth went dry as he watched her sit up in bed. The sheet had fallen to her waist and the light from the moon was illuminating the soft skin of her bare breasts.
He knelt down beside her bed as she quickly wrapped her arms around him. His shaky hands caressed her back lovingly as he whispered against her ear.
“I was so worried …god Liz did he hurt you are you ok?”
She pulled away and held his face with her tiny hand as tears fell from her eyes.
“He didn’t hurt me but …you can’t be here …god Max if he finds you here…
“Just one more moment please ….just one more –
Suddenly their lips touched and they were lost …flying …floating through a time and space that was made just for them ..just for two hearts that were always meant to be together.
His gentle hands moved over her shoulders and down her arms leaving chills of rapture in their wake.
The softness of his tongue slowly tenderly moving inside her mouth made her feel like she was the most precious gift in the world to him.
Then the whisper came. “Liz can I touch you…I need to feel you”
Her eyes slowly opened as she took his trembling hand and placed it over her heart and down to her waiting breast.
Their foreheads touched as they both let out a soft moan. Liz began to whimper quietly as he slowly moved his thumb over her hard peak. Her breath was quickly increasing as she arched into his hand and buried her face into his neck.
“So beautiful …you’re so beautiful Liz”
Suddenly they heard a sound from the living room.
“Oh god Max you have to go …he’ll kill you if he finds you here”
Reluctantly and with great pain Max pulled his hands away from her and looked deep into her eyes.
“Please tell me I will see you tomorrow night…please Liz ..I have to know”
“I will be there…I promise”
As she closed the window he pressed his hand against the glass and mouthed the word “wait” before she closed the shade.
He looked at her as she held the sheet up to her chest and watched as her beautiful raven locks flowed all around her golden shoulders.
He was powerless against her beauty and his love for her …his words came from his lips as if he had no control over what he was saying.
“Liz….tomorrow night I’m going to make love to you”
Liz stood quietly as her body trembled with desire and need. She watched his beautiful amber eyes as he backed away and disappeared into the snowy dark night.