Things Roswell Characters Would Never Say

[paper]

Isabelle: Take me away, Calgon!

[dreamer19]

Max: Alex I just thought I should warn you that Isabel has a spanking fetish.

Alex: Thanks Max, but how do you know? Personal experience?

Max blushes...

Max: She's stronger than me!

[Natalie36]

LIZ LETS GO HAVE SEX

[Amelia]

Rath: Man, Lonnie I just love this new CD by TLC!!

[dreamer19]

Michael: Everyone I have an annoucement.

The gang looks on with interest...

Michael: Metallica is out and country music 24-7 is in!

Max: I call dibs on Michael for square dancing!

Michael: Max...Max there is enough of me to go around.

[dreamerfiend]

Max: Ok Liz I know how much you want me but I know Tess wants me too

Tess and Liz look at each other then back to Max

Max: So I've decided we should have a threesome!!!

[killjoy]

This is taking from the scene in CYN when Isabel and Tess were looking through Prom pictures.

"Ohhhh and here's a nice one of Max and Liz!" gushed Tess as she slid the photos across the table to Isabel "And here's one of Maria and Michael trying to dance...that's too funny! Ohhh and look at this one of you and Alex!"

Isabel picked up the picture of her and Alex that Tess had passed at her and than smiled at it.But it was than that Isabel noticed that a second picture was stuck to the pic of her and Alex.Gently peeling it off the back Isabel found herself speechless at what she saw.

"Uhhh Tess just what is this a picture of?" Isabel held the photo up for Tess to see.

Giving the photo a quick glance Tess blurted out "Ohh that's a picture of me and Kyle when I was playing the naughty nurse and he was the injured football player......" Tess suddenly blushed and reached over to snatch the photo away from Isabel "...how the hell did that one get mixed up in here with the Prom pictures?!"

[April]

This is so hilarious. killjoy, you should write a fic, seriously.


Something a Roswell character would never say:

MICHAEL: Maria, go to the French club meeting instead of meeting me in the eraser room.




-April

[Hunter]

Lol! You guys come up with the funniest stuff
Here's what I think would have never happened in the show anyway but wud be funny if it did..

Future Max: We made love (to Liz)

Liz: (Eyes light up) Oh really?! Who was on top? How long did it last?

*******************
Liz: Tess..you're the odd one out here. I have Max, Maria has Micheal, Alex and Isabel are together. There's just no room for you so fuck off.

Tess: But there's Kyle. Right?

*********************
Max: I'm coming for you (To Liz)

Liz: Why don't we just get down to business and fuck right now?

Max: (Grins) How about it?? (Grabs Liz and takes her to her room to have sex)

**********
Nasedo: You're worthless..why did I ever bother taking care of you??

Tess: I don't know..you tell me.

Nasedo: Because I hated being lonely dammit!!

**********************
Isabel: Micheal...I'm pregnant...

Micheal: I know Isabel..you told me that like a million times already.

Isabel: But it's not your baby...it's Alex's.

Micheal: (Stands up shocked) What!?

Isabel: Sorry I made a mistake

****************
Tess: Hey Al (To Alex)

Alex: (Turns around disgusted) Can't you see bitch that we're having a conversation??

*************

[Michelle in LA]

I just discovered this, so I'm replying to stuff that's way back:

killjoy said:

Ok for you uneducated lot let me give you a few facts on women and sex." smiled Kyle "Like did you guys know that in the end there are only four types of orgasms for women out there?"

Michael, Max and Alex could only shake their heads no at that question.

"It's true." nodded Kyle "You see for a woman you first have the positive orgasm. That's where she goes 'Oh Yes Oh Yes Oh Yes'. Than you have the negative orgasm where a woman goes 'Oh No Oh No Oh No'.Than you have the religious orgasm where the woman goes 'Oh God Oh God Oh God'.And last but not least for women there is the fake orgasm......." Now this was when Kyle got a big smile on his face as he got ready to deliver the punch line "......And that's when she goes 'Oh Michael,Oh Michael,Oh Michael!'

I would post and say how funny this is, but my neighbors are having me carted off to the funny farm for all the strange laughter emanating from my place, alone, in the middle of the night...

I agree with Morning Dreamgirl—this so needs to be dialogue in some fanfic!

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