Things Roswell Characters Would Never Say

[pijeechinadoll]

Tess: Lord have mercy Kyle..Maybe I should convert to buddhism.

Kyle: Why?

Tess: Because I need to get in contact with my soul.

Kyle: Do you even have one you alien muppet? (laughs)

lol hehe so funny ^^

[dreamer19]

Liz: Max, I can't wait until our honeymoon tonight.

Max: Liz, I've spent the last 10 years of my life jerking off, believe my hand is the most excited because he finally gets a rest after all these years.

Liz: Oh honey, he won't have to any of the work I promise.

[Hunter]

Tess: Let's fuck.

Zan: Listen bitch..I'm taken.

Tess: By who.

Liz: (Steps in) By me.

Tess: But wha...I thought you had Max.

Max: She does. (steps in and holds Liz's hand)

Liz links her other hand with Zan.

Liz: We're family.

Tess: Can I join?

***********

Alex: (Checks her out ) Damn you are smoking hot (wolf whistles)

Lonnie: Thanks. (blows kiss)

Isabel slaps Alex's head.

Isabel; That's not me silly!.

Alex: Oh..but your dupe is way much hotter..

Isabel: What?

********
Tess lifts her leg up and breaks wind. Kyle watches in shock when her farts drag on.

Kyle: Holy @*%& Sweet Buddha.

Tess: It's called an alien gas.

Kyle: Phwoar it stinks! (holds his nose)

Tess: Here sniff this one..(farts louder)

Kyle faints.

********

Tess: Lord have mercy Kyle..Maybe I should convert to buddhism.

Kyle: Why?

Tess: Because I need to get in contact with my soul.

Kyle: Do you even have one you alien muppet? (laughs)

lol hehe so funny ^^

Thanks ping! Hope you like the ones above

[dreamer19]

Max looks solemnly at Tess and Liz's faces. They are not going to like what they are about to hear.

Max: Ladies...I've decided that I can no longer keep my true feelings hidden. My real true love exists outside this alien saga world. She is a mature, older woman who really knows how to satisfy a man. Her name is Carrie. She sent me a fan letter, giving me a detailed account of how she'd fuck me senseless once I enter her reality where I wear only a toga and nothing else. I know you'll never get over me-- this perfect speciman of a man. The real ideal behind Michaelango's David sculpture. It's true Carrie told me so. So now I must begone because Carrie's ringing her bell again and its time she fucks me senseless again. Bye now.

Liz: Whaaa?

Tess: Huh?

This is how Roswell should of gone (at least in Carrie's mind aka jake17!)

[jake17]

Max: Ladies...I've decided that I can no longer keep my true feelings hidden. My real true love exists outside this alien saga world. She is a mature, older woman who really knows how to satisfy a man. Her name is Carrie. She sent me a fan letter, giving me a detailed account of how she'd fuck me senseless once I enter her reality where I wear only a toga and nothing else. I know you'll never get over me-- this perfect speciman of a man. The real ideal behind Michaelango's David sculpture. It's true Carrie told me so. So now I must begone because Carrie's ringing her bell again and its time she fucks me senseless again. Bye now.

Wow dreamer19 I had no idea Max shared this information with you!
There is only one problems we both have: This is under the topic of things Roswell Characters would never say, Yeah he wants to talk to you about that, He told me he'll call you as soon as he gets his strength back up...


Thank you,
You crazy woman
this was just what I needed today...
Carrie

[paper]

This was too much information for me!

Whatever happened to "Max can take Liz up against the wall in every post."?????

-- -- -- --

I choose to speak for Kavar Khivar. He would never say "I surrender."

[pijeechinadoll]

Tess lifts her leg up and breaks wind. Kyle watches in shock when her farts drag on.

Kyle: Holy @*%& Sweet Buddha.

Tess: It's called an alien gas.

Kyle: Phwoar it stinks! (holds his nose)

Tess: Here sniff this one..(farts louder)

Kyle faints.

********

LOL ^^ he he im still larfing at this ^^ heheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
EDITED: even better than the one before. x

[killjoy]

Tess and Kyle were out on their date and was just leaving the movies

"God I hate sex in the movies!" Tess fumed over how the horrible movie they'd just seen was nothing more than a plotless movie made mostly so the brain dead female star could flash her huge fake tits on screen.

"Yeah me too." Kyle shook his head.

"Really?" Tess perked up with an inner glee that her boyfriend had agreed with her.

"Yeah." nodded Kyle "Just when it starts getting good those damn seats fold up on you and hurt like hell...not to mention the girl on top of me always ends up knocking my popcorn into the floor.........What? Hey where you going in such a hurry? Come back here!!!"

Kyle rushes off to catch up with his storming off girlfriend.

[April]

^ Too funny!

[crazysnape]

Isabel, Micheal and Max are in Max's room just after he saved Liz at the Crashdown.

Max : I have to tell her something but I don't know what !

Isabel and Micheal share a look.

Micheal : Well, why don't you tel her the true ?

Isabel : yeah, good idea !

Max : well, I am not sure, I will think about it.