
Banner by Me.
Title: Notorious
Disclaimer: We own nothing that is Roswell .. sadly that belongs to the powers that be!! No infringement is intended.
Authors: Hunter (Monica) & Janetfl (Jan)
Summary: Max realised he was in love with Liz the day she broke his heart.
Rating: Adult
Pairing: M/L and L/C
Authors notes: JAN: Myself and the lovely talented Monica, who is also a very good friend, will be writing this story together. Monica will do Liz's POV and I will be doing Max's. I'm looking forward to working with such a talented writer and brilliant artist (just check out those banners!). This is the first time I'm doing POV's and I'm a little nervous so any feed back would be greatly appreciated.
MONICA: I'm so excited to be working with one of my favourite writers! I'm so speechless and you guys will love Jan's Max! I can assure you that much.


Here's a quick reminder of whose writing who.

Hunter: Liz's POV
Janetfl: Max's POV.
**********
Song used : Heavy on my Heart by Anastacia
Prologue
Liz's POV
Hatred. Oh the burning hatred of anger.
I try to fly away but it's impossible
And every breath I take gives birth to deeper sighs
And for a moment I am weak
So it's hard for me to speak
I couldn't picture my hatred burning anymore but building up in walls, bricks of hatred being cemented sticking the bricks together like paper and superglue. My hatred was tough, hard to tear or demolish.
Even though we're underneath the same blue sky
I hadn't realised this but there was so much hatred in me it could be considered a new deadly sin. I have never hated anyone so much in my life.
Ever.
If I could paint a picture of this melody
It would be a violin without its strings
I always believe hate comes with love. The ones you love, you could hate. I was so wrong. The pages of the psyche didn't help either to understand what exactly my mind or my heart was going through.
And the canvas in my mind
Sings the songs I left behind
The person I so deeply hated, I realised I didn't even know him. Or I didn't want to. My hate for him was probably the strongest feeling I've ever felt that it seeded fear inside my heart to come what may.
Like pretty flowers and a sunset
I had no idea of the future, of where our relationship would go.
It's heavy on my heart
I can't make it alone
Heavy on my heart
I can't find my way home
It was futile. I have nothing with me except for my degree. I thought after graduation, I would have three things. A degree, a ring and my lover. I have neither a ring nor a lover. Well, I was too expectant of a ring. Those romantic comedies have gotten to my head.
Heavy on my heart
So come and free me
It's so heavy on my heart
I was deluded into thinking he'd pick graduation as the day to finally let me in his heart, to show me how he felt and that it was the same that I felt about him.
I've had my share of pleasure
And I've tasted pain
But I was so wrong. Life wasn't a fairytale. It was drama and pain.
I never thought that I would touch an angel's wings
There's a journey in my eyes
It's getting hard for me to hide
Like the ocean at the sunrise
I take deep sighs of frustration. He never remembered the times where I felt so close to him, like nothing in the world mattered, just me and him together. I watch his smile, hurting inside knowing that I wasn't the cause of his smile.
It's heavy on my heart
I can't make it alone
Heavy on my heart
I can't find my way home
His eyes light up with light passion as he stares at the butterflies around him with broken wings. No destination in mind but to linger. Girls after girls, he twirls them around the dance floor as I stood, forgotten in the abyss of the glittering crowd. Crystal tears resting on my blushed cheeks.
Heavy on my heart
So come and free me
I feel like the veil of darkness has covered me completely and even my shadow cannot find me.
Love, can you find me in the darkness, and love,
Don't let me down
I can't stand this sight in front of me so I walk out and step out into the cold, my frozen wrists grazing along the cool metal bar of the rails. I peer at my own moonlit reflection. I can barely see myself in the ripples of the pond just the shadows of a tree and the little beams of light coming from the halls.
There's a journey in my eyes
It's getting hard for me to hide
One tear, two tears, a stream of tears wash down my cheeks like a silent waterfall trying to escape its confines. Small teardrops plunging into the midnight blue pond, merging with the water.
And I never thought I'd touch an angel's wings
I bit my lip, not caring anymore if I stain myself with my blood. I was bleeding in the inside, my heart bleeding to death. No one knew how much pain I was going through inside. It hurt too much to even acknowledge it.
How can I possibly be here, shedding myself of my tears instead of making myself strong and getting over this stupid dream I had. Of gaining the one I love the most.
"Liz." I hear his deep voice,
I wipe my tears in haste but don't turn around. Not just yet.
"How come you're standing out here alone?" He asked, completely clueless.
I grit my teeth. Grin and bear it Liz I thought. Taking a sharp intake of breath, I swiftly turn around. Hatred angrily burning in my eyes it scares him.
"Liz? Is everything okay?"
I want to laugh but I don't. "No." I growled. He had the nerve showing his face to me tonight after all the shit he's put me through.
Not only has he shattered my heart after toying with it for so long but my entire family was the cause of his smile. Not just me. That's what killed me the most.
"What's wrong sweetie?" He tries to reach out for me but I pull away and throw his hand back.
"Don't!" I warn through gritted. "Don't touch me."
"Liz...what's the problem?" He tries to work me out but I don't know if the emotions etched on my face was enough to show him that I was dying inside.
"You really want to know what the problem is?" I shut my eyes and sigh again. "Then listen."
"I really do want to know so I can make it all go away."
Our friendship died two years ago but he was acting like it was still alive. He was never there for me. He always left me whenever I needed him the most. When I was upset, he was out partying with his new friends, when I got hurt, he was in bed with some slut having a good time. When I was happy, he was drinking with the jerks and the sluts. When he wanted advice and help, he came to me. Whenever he needed someone to talk to, he always came to me.
But was never there for me.
I regret being used by him, letting myself be his doormat when he got his own feet dirty.
I take one look at the man before me. No longer the boy I fell in love with. His change was the cause of my hatred towards him. He changed. Not the boy I loved but the man I hated.
"I hate you." I finally say it, feeling more angry, looking at his face, his lips, nose, eyes and everything that is him.
"What?" Came the crestfallen face.
"You heard me right." I sneered, pushing my anger forward. "I've had enough of you and your lies." I stepped closer to him. "Rich people like you only want money and sex. You have no idea how much pain you cause us poor folk." I snapped louder. "Every time we serve you, you only take us for granted. Do you know how much this hurts!"
"Liz I-" I can't let him win this time and I beat him to it.
"No, don't Liz me." I yelled. "You're making the mistake of thinking I'm your slave. No I'm not." I shake my head. "All this time when I needed you where were you? Huh?" I asked. But he doesn't speak and just simply looks at me. "Just getting laid by some bitch!" I answer for him.
His eyes widen and his nostrils flares, I know I've hit a nerve. "How could you-".
"Enough of your lies okay. You may be rich but you aren't genuine. You can never buy love." I told him.
"What are you talking about Liz?" He shouts, wondering what the hell is wrong with me. "Why are you acting like this? It's graduation and you're being so mean."
"Mean? Me?". I raise an eyebrow, showing him how amused I was. "Yeah Max, it's graduation. A golden chance for you to flaunt your happiness after your folks ousted my family out of their property, you should be happy. After all, like father, like son." I spat acidly.
"What?" His voice now a hushed whisper.
"You heard me right Max. Your father snatched the Crashdown from us." I told him icily. "Congratulations. You gained one thing and lost something in the same day."
"Goodbye Max."
I walk away before I can be stabbed with more pain. I have to get out of here.
I have to leave.
Heavy on my heart
I can't find my way home
Heavy on my heart
So come and free me
It's so heavy on my heart
So heavy...
So heavy...
*********
Max’s POV
It’s our Graduation party and I’m in the middle of the make shift dance floor surrounded by beautiful women all wanting a piece of the action. I look around at the gorgeous offerings at my disposal. Nobody gets my full attention … that’s just not my way.
I look around the room trying to select which one of these women I want to take in to my bed tonight. I never commit I have to much to live for at the moment … maybe one day I will settle down … but that is far into the future.
Oh I am no fool I know I’m the most eligible bachelor here and most of these women want a piece of the Evan’s fortune … but that’s not going to happen. So while they want to throw themselves at me … who am I to complain?
I never select the same woman twice, they get too needy … too attached and I can’t stand that.
I’m looking around the room when my eyes fall upon my best friend Liz. She’s always been there for me. Alright she is not in the same league as some of the women that surround me but she has a heart of gold. She actually looks stunning tonight in her Graduation dress. It clings to her in all the right places. She scrubs up pretty well.
Her hair is all gathered up on her head and tight curls fall down to the side. She has put makeup on tonight and … well she just looks wonderful.
Oh my god what am I thinking this is my best friend?
I shake out all un-holy thoughts of Liz and turn my attentions back to the lovely ladies surrounding me … but wait …
I turn back around and see something in her eyes. I’m not sure what emotion it is … maybe hatred … but surely that can’t be right. We are, after all, best of friends.
I become still and a look of confusion must be placed across my face … well that’s how I feel anyway.
Why is she looking at me this way?
I watch and just as she turns around and heads towards the doors I swear I see tears pooling in the corner of those big, brown doe eyes of hers.
What could possibly be wrong with her?
Has some man dared to mess with her? Touched her when she didn’t want to be?
I had to go and find out. I can’t stand to see her cry it makes my heart bleed.
I follow her outside and notice she’s not wearing a coat and it’s freezing out here.
“Liz …” I call to her and watch as she brings her hands to her face.
I knew it!!! She was crying … although I couldn’t see the tears because her back was still towards me.
I stand there for what feels like an eternity waiting to find out what is wrong. I’m wondering now whether she actually heard me.
"How come you're standing out here alone?"
It’s the only thing I can think of asking her … not wanting to go directly to the point. I don’t want to upset her even more by asking her if some man put his hands on her. If any man did I would tear him apart piece by piece. I am taking the gentle approach in the hope that she will tell me what is wrong.
I watch her body as it goes stiff; hear a sharp intake of breath and then she spins around on me. Her face is contorted with what I can only describe has hatred and pain and my blood starts to boil. Who did this to her? My god the look in her eyes is terrifying.
"Liz? Is everything okay?" I ask her steeling myself for what is about to come.
"No." she growls at me.
I’m quite taken aback by her tone … surely it’s not directed at me?
"What's wrong sweetie?" I ask her trying to take her in my arms so she feels safe but she pushes my hand away.
Now I’m confused … did I say something to upset her tonight … come to think of it I haven’t even spoken to her except to say hello when she first arrived.
Maybe that’s what’s wrong … maybe I’ve been ignoring her.
"Don't!" she warns me through gritted teeth. "Don't touch me."
Okay so have I just walked in to the Twilight Zone or something? I am totally confused by her behaviour.
"Liz...what's the problem?"
"You really want to know what the problem is?" she asks with pain etched on her face "Then listen."
"I really do want to know so I can make it all go away" I tell her with all honesty.
"I hate you” she spat out.
My heart sinks as soon as she says those words. Those feelings etched on her face are because of me … but I don’t understand why.
"What?" I choke out not able to comprehend what she is trying to tell me.
"You heard me right" she sneers at me.
"I've had enough of you and your lies" she stepped closer to me.
"Rich people like you only want money and sex. You have no idea how much pain you cause us poor folk. Every time we serve you, you only take us for granted. Do you know how much this hurts?"
Okay now what the hell is she talking about? Serving me? Taking her for granted? No I’m not having her scream at me for no reason but I will still treat her gently.
"Liz I-" she cuts me off before I can get a word in edge ways.
"No, don't Liz me. You're making the mistake of thinking I'm your slave. No I'm not."
She shakes her head at me. What the fuck is she talking about her being my slave? I’ve never thought of her that way … she’s my best friend.
"All this time when I needed you where were you? Huh?"
Okay now I’m just blown away … where is all this coming from? I am and have always been there for her … she’s just never needed me.
"Just getting laid by some bitch!" she shouts in my face.
Now hang on one damn minute. Now I’m pissed, really pissed. I feel my nostrils flare, my eyes go wide in shock, my blood starts pumping faster and my fists clench. Who the hell does she think she is saying that to me? Totally uncalled for and I’m setting the record straight right now.
"How could you-" she cuts me off again. Now the anger is boiling through my blood.
"Enough of your lies okay. You may be rich but you aren't genuine. You can never buy love."
I’ve never been angrier in my entire life than I am right now. She is supposed to be my best friend … why did she stick by me all these years if this is her low opinion of me?
"What are you talking about Liz?" I shout at her as my rage comes bubbling to the surface. I want to punch something … not her … no I would never do that … but something.
"Why are you acting like this? Its graduation and you're being so mean."
She goes on to tell me about my family ousting her family out of their property … meaning they have lost everything. It hits me why she finally hates me. I feel like I’ve had a bucket of ice cold water thrown over me.
My father … this has got something to do with my father … a hatred that I never knew existed started to rise along with the bile in my throat. I hate my father right at this moment! It had to be him that caused this devastation on her face … and for that I will never forgive him.
"What?" I whisper not quite believing what she is telling me and I’m not able to subdue the rising nausea that I’m feeling.
"You heard me right Max. Your father snatched the Crashdown from us. Congratulations. You gained one thing and lost something in the same day."
I felt as if she had stabbed me in the heart. I was bleeding and she couldn’t even tell.
"Goodbye Max."
That was all she said to me before she turned around and walked away. I’ve lost her … my one and only best friend whom I trust with my life and my secrets … I’ve lost her for good thanks to my father. But you know what hurts the most …? She thinks I had something to do with it! Me! Maybe she never really knew me at all.
And that last thought caused me more pain than I’ve ever experienced. I am mesmerised by her beautiful form retreating from me and I don’t even notice the tears streaming down my face. Then I feel the pain … the further she goes … the more pain I feel.
I needed to take my mind of this whole ordeal … so I walk back to the party intending to choose my next victim … god help her … once I’m finished with her. I have a lot of pent up anger to get rid of.
As I look around to pick one of the beautiful women … it finally hits me what I’ve just lost … the love of my life and I didn’t even know it until tonight.
TBC ………………………………………………………………………………