And Never The One Should Meet, UC, M/?, Teen, Complete

[burningchaos]

Title: And Never The One Should Meet
Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and UPN. They are not mine.
Pairing: Max/Surprise, mentions of other pairings
Rating: Teen
Warning: Light Slash.
Summary: Max finally meets the person who is perfect for him…himself
Author's Note: This is pure crack, 727 words of it to be exact, and not intended to offend anyone. This is for Jake17 for being…well, awesome. Please don’t stone me people.
Thank you for the quick beta Darkmoon!



Future Max looked a Liz and wondered how he could have possible thought she was for him; she was weak willed, easy to manipulate and well to put it simply human. Truth be told; Tess was no match for him either; he couldn’t stand that overeager simpering blonde. Future Max tapped his fingers on the ledge of Liz’s balcony and wondered what the hell his younger self had been thinking. He tapped them a few more times, thought about how dangerous meeting his current self would be and decided he had to do it. After all, how often can you talk the younger version of yourself out of being an ass?

His leather pants creaked when he threw his leg over the wall and climbed down; if he remembered correctly current Max was at work. If you could call working at that cheesy ass ‘alien museum’ a job, which it wasn’t. He was a King, a King and his younger self was working at a mockery of everything he was. Future Max added that to the list of things to yell at himself for. He also needed to tell himself to do something about those damn clothes he wore all the time, what the hell was he supposed to be an Alex Keaton clone?

The walk was thankfully short; after all it was practically across the street…all the better to stalk Liz with and all…Future Max shuddered at that unbidden thought. His younger self was a sick, sick soul; he was so glad he was more mature than that. Yes, he had married Liz but he was also here to set things right and that meant marrying the tart. He wondered briefly who the hell she had blown to become his Queen, because her winning personality certainly hadn’t snagged the gig for her.

A blast of recycled, slightly stale air hit him as he entered the locked building with ease. He could hear his younger self humming Counting Crows tunelessly and winced. Yeah, he was really really going to take himself to task over being a pathetic loser. He was a King. A KING and therefore he had a duty to be infinitely cooler than that.

Future Max stalled when he saw the younger version of himself sweeping the floor. He had forgotten how graceful he was, he watched himself swaying and dragging the brush across the floor. If not for those tacky ass clothes, Future Max was sure he would be seen as a total hottie. In fact, he was quite taken with the younger version of himself.

He jumped down the last few steps, and cleared his throat. Max whirled around, his eyes wide with shock and a shield instantly formed between them. He was so proud. “Hello, Max.” He walked closer to himself and felt his pants grow tighter.

“Are…are you …me?” Max asked.

“Yes, I am. Well I am a future version of you.” He was so clever.

“How…” Max stuttered and stepped closer.

“The granolith sent me here, I came back to change things, to set the future right.” He circled around himself and noted the way those khakis hugged his younger self’s ass. “I hadn’t planned on seeing you, but there were a few things I decided we had to discuss.”

Max cocked his head. “Are you wearing leather? I didn’t think I could pull off leather.”

“Oh there are a lot of things we can pull off.” He winked at himself and watched Max blush. Suddenly he knew there was only one being perfect enough for him, and that was him. “Fuck the space time continuum. I need to touch you.” Future Max lunged toward his younger self, grabbed him by the back of the head and leaned in to kiss him when…

Epilogue…

Several hours later Michael, Isabel and the Sheriff discovered Max’s remains. His entrails ruined several displays and the museum was shut down for eight weeks. Liz and Tess comforted Michael after Maria died of grief, through their joint action Liz and Tess discovered a mutual attraction for one another and for Michael. Isabel started dating both Alex and Kyle, having learned from Michael that polyamory was the only way to go. The Sheriff married Amy and they all lived happily ever after never to be bothered by the skins and never once thinking about Max again.