Hunter (2X) - Honey, you say the sweetest things to me. You know that I always look forward to your comments and your stories.
begonia9508 - You're getting pretty warm.
Lena7 - Thank you so much for the feedback. I loved writing Larek and he’s not quite done with his matchmaking just yet.
jake17 - I aim to please, Carrie. You know I love your feedback. And don’t worry, you won’t have to wait too much longer for any Zan and Inara action.
Michelle17 (2X) - Thank for your feedback. You won’t have to wait much longer.
dreamer19 - Thank you for the feedback. And the craziness isn’t over.
Lizzie_Parker17 - Yeah, Kivar is pretty creepy and you can see how messed up the rest of his family is.
mizzshinoda88 - Thank you for the feedback. It’s nice having you here.
Janetfl (2X) - Oh, it’s so good to see you here, hon. I’m really happy that you’re enjoying this story.
Alien_Friend - Thank you so much for your feedback. I’m glad that you’re enjoying this because sometimes, when I'm writing it, it doesn’t even make sense in my head. So I’m glad that your enjoying my story and the way I’ve made the characters.
To all of you, thank you so much for your patience and support. And I hope you enjoy this next part.
Chapter Ten
Two weeks later…
Vilandra sat at the vanity in her dressing room, looking at herself in the mirror while the servants finished doing her hair. Today was her wedding day, supposedly the happiest day of her life, however she was anything but happy. She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to married to Rath. She loved him but not like that, not the way a wife should love a husband and she was more than certain that he felt the exact same way she did. But there was nothing either one of them could do. They were stuck. Vilandra felt a hand on her shoulder and looked over to see Inara looking at her with a frown on her face.
“Are you all right?” She asked.
“Oh, yeah, yes, I’m fine,” Vilandra assured. “I’m just a little nervous. That’s all.”
“Yeah, I remember how I was on my wedding day,” Serena chuckled as she sat across from the girls on a loveseat with her four-year old daughter, Jadzia, in her lap. “I was so nervous, I couldn’t eat all day. But it passes. Don’t worry.”
“We’re done, your majesty,” one of the servants said before bowing her head down.
“Thank you,” Vilandra said, smiling kindly at the servant. She got up from her seat at the vanity table and walked over to bigger mirror by loveseat so she could take a look at herself.
“You look amazing, Lonnie,” Inara said in awe as she looked at Vilandra.
“Thanks.” Vilandra had to admit it, she really did look beautiful. Her strapless dress had been made with some of the finest silk on Antar and flowed down from the waist. Her hair was done up in a loose bun and couple of strands of hair caressing her face, with a tiara on top of her head. She looked like a bride. She just wished that she was marrying a different groom.
Her mind wander over to Kivar, the man that she really loved and the man that she really wanted to be marrying. She wondered if maybe he missed her as much as she missed him. Ending things with him had been the hardest thing that she had ever done, and she would regret it for the rest of her life. For a moment she actually envied Zan. He may be acting immaturely about his future, but she had to admire the way he stood up for himself. When their parents had told her that she would be engaged to Rath, she had fought a little but ultimately backed down, but Zan refused to let their parents tell him who to spend the rest of his life with. She wished that she had that kind of bravery.
Feeling something tugging on her dress, Vilandra looked down and saw Jadzia playing with her dress. Vilandra smiled and picked up the child just as the doors slid open and queen Amara walked into the room wearing proud smile on her face. The servants in the room along with Serena and Inara bowed their heads in her presence.
“Oh, darling, you look absolutely gorgeous,” she said as stared lovingly at her daughter. This is a moment she’d been dreaming about for so long, seeing her little girl get married, and now it was finally happening. If only she could make Zan see reason the way that Vilandra has.
“Thank you, mother,” Vilandra said, forcing yet another fake smile. She couldn’t wait for this day to be over. She looked over at Jadzia in her arms and saw the girl smiling brightly at her.
“Pwetty,” Jadzia said with a smile before kissing Vilandra on the cheek. Vilandra laughed at how cute she was and kissed her back, and then handed her back over to Serena.
“Well, it’s time,” Amara said. “Are you ready, sweetheart?”
Vilandra’s smile started to fade a little, but she quickly fixed it, not wanting to let her mother know that this marriage was the last thing that she wanted. “I’m ready,”
One of the servants walked up to her and handed Vilandra her bouquet. Vilandra reluctantly took the bouquet, feeling a heavy weight settle in the pit of her stomach. Today was supposed to be the best day of her life, but today felt more like a funeral than a wedding. Today everything that she had ever wanted for her life was dying, her hopes and dreams of finding the kind of love her parents had were going to be completely destroyed today, but still she wouldn’t let that sadness control her. This was what her parents wanted, and she loved them too much to let them down.
As the band started playing the wedding music, Vilandra felt her heart beating wildly in her chest, and she immediately shut her eyes and started to slow, calming breaths as thought about her duty to her family. She had to do this. “I’m ready,” she whispered so low that no could hear it except for her.
Finally she opened her eyes and gave her mother a small smile before her mom left the room and Inara and Serena got into position and Jadzia, the flower girl, quickly grabbed her little white basket full of flowers. As the doors opened and Vilandra prepared to walk down that isle, she took a deep breath and chanted the words “I can do this” over and over in her mind, wanting to get this day over with as fast as possible.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The wedding was absolutely beautiful. All the guests cheered when the high priestess bonded Vilandra and Rath together as husband and wife. At the Antarian Palace, the reception was just lovely, everyone gathering around as Rath and Vilandra entered the ballroom wearing big smiles on their faces. Not one person in the room realized that their happy smiles were only a show, a façade to make them all believe that this was the happiest couple in the world right now. If Only they knew.
As the festivities carried on until late in the night, Zan found it hard to have a good time. No matter what he did, his eyes always wandered back to Inara, who over at another table, talking with her father, Coraline and a couple of other friends. She was absolutely beautiful. She was wearing a red dress with spaghetti straps that tied around her neck, and accentuated her beautiful curves. Her hair was tied back back into a simple pony-tail and skin glowed in the most glorious way. Zan just couldn’t take his eyes off of her no matter how hard he tried.
“Go over to her,” Larek said, taking a seat beside Zan and startling him, which made Larek chuckle.
“Go away, Larek,” Zan snapped, not taking his eyes off Inara for one moment.
Larek rolled his eyes, getting tired of this whole charade. “Come on, Zan. How long are you going to keep playing this game? You know that you that have feelings for her.” When Zan didn’t say anything, Larek continued. “Okay, if you can honestly tell me that you have no romantic feelings for Inara at all, I’ll forget about this whole thing.”
Again Zan didn’t answer, but how could he? Larek was completely right. Zan wanted Inara--he wanted Inara badly. And it wasn’t just in a sexual way. He wanted to be with her. He wanted her to belong to him and no one else, and the closer that he and Inara got, the more he was starting to regret his decision to just be friends with her. He knew that Rath wouldn’t approve of it, and Zan was still scared that he would end up hurting her in some way. But how could he keep fighting his feelings for her when every part of his body was screaming at him to work its will. He wanted her. He wanted her more than words could ever describe.
Taking a deep breath, Zan looked at Larek, who was smiling encouragingly, before he got up from his table and started walking towards Inara, feeling butterflies rumbling in his stomach. He didn’t know what he wanted to say to her, but he knew that he didn’t want to fight this any longer. They’d grown so close to each other in the last couple of weeks, especially with all of the missunderstandings out of the way, and he believed that maybe now was the right time to come clean. His heart pounded hard in his chest as he got closer to Inara, nervous about what he was going to say to her. He was almost there when someone suddenly stepped in front of his, stopping him from going any further. He was about to say ‘excuse me’ and push them aside when that person place their hand on his shoulder.
Zan realized that he’d been so lost in his own thoughts that he wasn’t even aware of who was in front of him. When he did, he felt bile rise in his throat and that familiar rage course through him. She hadn’t really changed since the last time he saw her. She was still absolutely gorgeous with her crystal blue eyes and curly blonde hair, and the beautiful curves of her body. But the way he felt when he looked at her was different. She was no longer the sweet angel he believed she was. He now could see her for who she was.
“Hey, Zan,” Ava greeted, smiling at him seductively. A smile that used to make his heart stop, but now only annoyed him.
“Ava,” he greeted back coldly. He started push her aside and continue towards Inara, but Ava still refused to let him go. Her persistence used to be one of the things he loved about Ava, but now it was nothing more than an annoyance.
“Zan,” she said, looking at him innocently, “I was wondering if we could talk. I know that I’ve screwed up, but I was hoping for a chance to at least talk to you. Can I have that much?”
Zan was about to protest, but her pouty face made him reconsider. Nothing she could say would ever make him love or trust her again, but he at least wanted some answers about why she did what she did to him. Answers that might give him some peace and maybe even a reason to believe that he could trust his heart to someone again. Looking past Ava, Zan could see that Inara was completely entranced in the conversation she was having with her friends, and decided not to interrupt her. Zan looked back at Ava and nodded glumly before her led her out of the ballroom and towards the his mother garden so they could talk.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Coraline eyed Rath provocatively, wishing that she could drag him off somewhere and have her way with him. She’d never wanted anyone like this, and it killed her that the one guy she wanted on this planet just happened to be married to a princess. It’s not like she even wanted a relationship with this man, she just wanted one great night of sex. That was all. The thought of seducing Rath, despite what Inara said, was very tempting. And she knew that she could do it too. She knew that he wanted her just as much. It wouldn’t take much to make Rath forget about his precious little princess. But she wouldn’t. Her friendship with Inara was more important than one night with one of the sexiest men in the galaxy.
Damn, this is going to hard, she thought in frustration. Taking a deep breath, she decided to walk over to Rath, constantly reminding herself to behave.
Rath spotted Coraline and immediately smiled. He also couldn’t help letting his eyes wander over her body appreciatively before returning back to her face. The gold dress she was wearing hugged all of her curves snuggly and gave him an ample amount of cleavage to look at. He hated himself for looking at this woman the way that he was, especially now that he was married man, but it was only looking. There’s no harm in that, right?
“Hello, Coraline,” Rath greeted as he grabbed two glasses of champagne from a waiter’s tray as she passed by, and handed on glass over to Coraline.
She gladly took the glass from Rath. “Congratulations on the wedding, Rath,” she said with fake happiness as she took a sip of her champagne. She saw something in Rath’s eyes that told her that he wasn’t very happy about his wedding. But he quickly covered it up and smiled brightly down at her.
“Thank you,” he said, forcing yet another smile on his face. He hated having to pretend that he was actually happy about being married to Vilandra. But at the same time, he knew that this would be a walk in the park compared to…the wedding night.
The idea of making love to Vilandra made him shiver a little inside. It wasn’t that Vilandra wasn’t beautiful. She was absolutely gorgeous, everyone knew that. But he grew up with her. And she became more of a sister to him than a woman he would consider having a sexual relationship with. Now Coraline on the other hand, was a very different story. More than anything, he would love to take her some where and do all of things that he’d been fantasizing about. He wanted to rip that gold dress off of her and drive himself into her.
He suddenly looked away from Coraline, feeling ashamed for the thoughts that were running through his head. He shouldn’t be thinking about Coraline like this. She was his little sister’s best friend--not his wife. His wife was now Vilandra, and he would be loyal to her, whether he loved her or not.
“So are you enoying the party?” He asked, wanting to talk about something else.
Coraline nodded her head. “Yes, it’s absolutely beautiful. And your bride is absolutely beautiful. Although, I personally think that you could do better,” she said without thinking.
Rath shot her a look, letting her know that he wasn’t amused by her comment. She quickly gave him an apologetic smile, wanting to get rid of the glower that was on his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” she said, trying to be sincere. “It’s not my place to make judgements like that. She seems really lovely, and you’re happy with her. That’s what really matters.”
No, I’m not! Rath’s mind screamed, though he nodded his head and smiled at Coraline. He had to get away from this woman. She was making him yearn for things that he shouldn’t yearn for, giving him the desire to do things that went against everything he was raised to be, everything that was ever taught to him. His father raised him to a good man and loyal husband, and Rath wouldn’t ignore that.
“I am,” he said, disappointed that he wasn’t as convincing as he should’ve been. “Listen, I have some more mingling that I have to do, but I’ll see you later.”
“Oh, Okay. Well--” Rath was gone befor Coraline could finish what she was saying. She hadn’t meant to drive him away at all. But she couldn’t help the feeling of enmity that she felt towards Vilandra. She had the one thing that Coraline wouldn’t ever have--Rath. And that drove her crazy. But not as crazy as the feeling of frustration and confusion she felt about her behavior. Why did she care so much whether or not she got Rath? It wasn’t like she was in love with him and she had met plenty of guys in her life that didn’t want her--despite what Inara thought--and she’d gotten over it pretty quick. But for some reason, the idea of never having Rath made her feel things in her heart that she had never felt before. She felt pain. Incredible and immense pain. And that didn’t sit well with her.
Coraline was not the type of girl to get mushy over guy, but she had a strong feeling that that was what was happening to her. Maybe it was a good idea that she didn’t socialize with Rath at all. She would not give herself the chance to become some emotional little fool, dreaming of a love that would never happen. She was too smart for all of that.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Inara was having an incredibly good time, chatting and reconnecting with people that she hadn’t seen or talked to in awhile. It was everything that she’d hoped. For one night, she actually allowed herself to pretend that was still the same girl that had left five years ago. And that she hadn’t changed into a woman who was more self aware and confident than she had--and that she was also a girl who’d been having dreams about Antar’s unspeakable doom.
That was the one thing that kept her from completely enjoying herself. Her nightmares hadn’t stopped since she returned to Antar. It was just the opposite. They’d been getting stronger and more vivid. And as she looked around at all these people around her, the people that she loved, she couldn’t shake this terrible feeling that something bad was going to happen to all of them. No, stop thinking this way, she scolded herself. The last thing she wanted to think about tonight were these stupid dreams that she’d been having--dreams that probably didn’t even mean anything--but they were still with her. No matter how hard she tried, they were still there, in the back of her mind.
Inara closed her eyes in frustration as her hand immediately clutched her necklace--the necklace that had started all of these dreams in the first place. She didn’t know why she had decided to wear it tonight. She didn’t even know why she hadn’t thrown it out yet. She should’ve since she still didn’t know who had sent it to her, but for some reason she just couldn’t. She felt connected to it, like it was a part of her, though she didn’t know how yet.
She slowly released her grip on the necklace, wishing that she could have at least one moment when her dreams would not linger in her mind somewhere. But it was becoming impossible. She started to get up from her seat when she felt Vilandra’s hand on her arm. Inara had been so lost in thought that she completely forgotten that she wasn’t alone at her table. She’d been sitting with Vilandra, Serena, Jin and her father for a couple of hours, but had been too lost in thought to remember what they had been talking about.
“Where are you going?” Vilandra asked is curiosity.
All eyes were on Inara and she felt a little uncomfortable. She didn’t want to worry them, but she also wasn’t ready to tell them about the dreams she’d been having. She could hardly make sense of them herself. But she knew that they were curious about her eager desire to return home so suddenly, especially Vilandra. She hadn’t stopped with the questions since Inara had returned home, but Inara had skillfully dodged them all. She just wasn’t ready--not yet. Forcing a fake smile on her lips, Inara shrugged and looked at each person at the table.
“I just wanted some air,” she stated simply, hoping that everyone would buy it. Luckily for her, they all did. Vilandra released her arm and returned to the conversation she’d been having with Serena. Inara politely pushed through some of the other guests, making her way out of the ballroom, when someone else placed a hand on her arm, stopping her from going any further.
“Where are you going?” Rath asked, looking down at his baby sister.
“Hey, Rath,” she started, smiling brightly at Rath, “I was just going to step outside for some air.”
“You want some company?” He tried to act casual about it, but Inara could see right through him. They hadn’t really had a chance to talk since she came back home and he could feel the distance between them. She wasn’t the same person she used to be, and that worried Rath a little, wondering what could’ve happened to make her change so much. Though it didn’t seem like she had changed at all to others, Rath could see it. Even now--when she was chatting happily with her friends and family--he could see that it was more of an act on her part. Like she was wearing a mask to keep others from seeing what was happening with her. Rath just didn’t like it.
“Oh, no, I’m fine,” she answered a little too quickly. “I just kind of want to be alone for a minute.”
Rath nodded, not even trying to hide his concern anymore. “You know, Inara, if you want to talk--about anything--I’m here.”
“I know that.” Inara could see how worried he was about her and that made her feel guilty for not telling him about her dreams. But it was just too soon. “But there’s nothing to talk about,” she lied. “I promise. I just kind of feel like being alone right now.”
Rath looked at her for a moment before finally giving up, knowing that couldn’t force her to talk to him. “Okay, well don’t stay outside for too long, okay. It’s a little chilly outside.”
“I’ll be okay,” Inara chuckled, rolling her eyes at her big brother’s protective nature. When Rath finally released her arm, Inara turned around and continued walking out of the ballroom--thankfully without anyone else stopping her.
She sighed in relieve when she stepped out into queen Amara’s garden and felt the cool breeze against her skin. It felt nice to just relax and not have to pretend any longer. Lately that’s all she’d been doing. Pretending. Trying to appear normal to everyone in her life so that they wouldn’t worry about. It was exhausting.
Inara looked up at the night sky, allowing herself to get lost in the beauty of the stars above. It looked so calm and peaceful up there and silently wished that she could be one of those stars, to know what it was like to be apart of that serenity. The sound of voices broke Inara out of her thoughts and she decided to find out who those voices belonged to.
She walked down the lighted path, getting closer to the two voices. She froze when she realized who they belonged to and wondered if she should go any further. She decided to ignore what her heart was telling her and continued on her path towards the voices. The closer she got, the faster her heart started beating in her chest. Her mind conjured up a very unhappy memory, one that still broke her even, despite how much she’d grown up.
And suddenly it felt like she hadn’t grown up at all. As her entire body froze in front of the gazebo, where Zan and Ava were now kissing, it felt like she was thirteen all over again--watching the love of her life kiss another woman. The wound that she thought had healed a long time had suddenly been ripped open and her heart shattered in a million pieces.
And as Zan and Ava kissed, Inara just stood there feeling like the biggest fool on the planet. Her feelings for Zan hadn’t changed at all in the five years that she’d been away. She was still the same thirteen-year old girl who had devoted her heart to Zan. And she always would be.
