Deceived (Z/L,Adult,UC) (COMPLETE)

[jake17]

So sorry for my long absence, RL has been crazy, wish I had time to thank you all for being so patient and your amazing fb. Thank you so much for all your support!











Chapter 11

One good act of vengeance deserves another
~ John Jefferson ~

Standing in front of the tiny window above the garage peering outside down onto the driveway below like an obsessed crazy man I hover just out of sight…

Waiting…. for her…

Always waiting for her…

Frustrated hands that long to touch her press against the wall, hard tense muscles holding back an ocean of unfulfilled want and need strain as I try to restrain the world wind of emotions fighting hard to get out.

Rage and despair tangle up inside me as if they were one in the same ripping through my tormented mind.

What a fool I am.

What a fool I suspect she has always seen me to be.

Is she a wolf is sheep’s clothing or is it me?

Am I just too pathetic to man up and take what is mine?

One little taste of her and I’m a drooling schoolboy begging for scraps like a stray dog whimpering at her precious feet.

It seems the game I was under the illusion I had been orchestrating was nothing more than my own weak mind deluding itself.

Was I ever in control?

Was she waiting for this moment all along?

Like a spider carefully casually spinning her web luring me closer each day until I was nothing more than nourishment for her needs she patiently waited for this moment.

Pacing back and forth my mind conflicted at every turn.

What about her dead mother and her threats to Officer Gomer Piles?

No, it had to be real. Her feelings for me, the way she gave herself up to me, allowing me to be her first, it just doesn’t add up.

There has to be a reason why she hides from me.

Shaking these thoughts from my head I refuse to believe she wants nothing to do with me.

No matter what the facts tell me I cannot believe that the same girl that shivered coming in my arms with that look of wonder and do I dare say …love, could fake that.

I could feel it when I touched her searing skin; her reactions were just too real.

My ears still ring from her crying out my name, my skin still bears the marks of her nails as she clung onto me moaning begging for more against the obvious sting of her virginity.

A man can tell, and there was no doubt in me.

No one could fake that.

It was real …It had to be.

Maybe it was fear, fear of feelings that were so new to her, emotions that she didn’t understand that were to powerful for her to handle.

If she would just talk to me…

Refocusing on my nightly ritual I glare back down at the empty space below knowing soon he would be there and she would go.

Feeling blood boil inside me I didn’t feel as if I could take one more night of her silence of wondering who she was with and what he was doing to her.

It was killing me.

Nails dug into plaster already cracked with age as I begin to shake knowing that the moment is nearing till I see her again.

Looking quickly at the clock by my bed my heart begins to hammer away in my chest like thunderous hooves of wild horses storming for another painful stampede through my soul.

My jaw clenches as the mysterious black Volvo once again creeps slowly up the driveway to the edge of the path.

Making sure I am just out of site I wait for the inevitable passenger door to slowly open to invite her in.

Between the edge of twilight and his tinted windows he remains as always in the shadows, a faceless threat just out of my reach.

Thoughts of dragging him out of his pretentious car and beating him unconscious are the only thing that’s been getting me through this retched week.

How I’ve been able to restrain myself is clearly beyond me.

Especially that first night, there I was pathetic rushing home from work thoughts of making love to her relentlessly inundating my mind.

Showering and searching my duffle bag until finding the only white button up shirt I own, the one I wore to my mothers funeral because I cared what I looked like for her.

Never again

Bile rose in my throat thinking back as I laid white daisies on the bed and stood palms sweaty heart racing by the door.

Impatiently waiting for the main lights to the house to go out thinking she was just outside

I remember thinking she must be waiting for her father to pass out from his nightly scotch dinner.

I stood there dreaming of all the things I wanted to do to her, things that we were in too much of a rush to explore the night before.

I was drunk with happiness

That was the first night the black Volvo came for her.

I was frozen unable to move; too shocked as I watched her slip into a car I’ve never seen before.

Sitting on the bed I calmed myself thinking it had to be part of her many charities, maybe it had to do with the shelter she was so involved with.

At work my heart jumped every time someone came through the door, but it was never her.

Maybe that was it, her father found out about the accident. He could’ve forbid her to go.

He could’ve seen her coming in that night dressed in my shirt, her clothes torn in shreds.

That had to be it…it had to be.

Or at least that’s what I kept telling myself…

Work was impossible, the days went on forever but it was the nights that killed me.

The dreams were pure torture; her silky hair skimming softly along my chest, her lips parted and wet marking every part of my body as if it belonged to her.

Her thighs open and waiting inviting me in, the whisper of her sweet wanting voice begging for me to come inside.

I’d wake each time sweating breathless still smelling her all around me, still feeling her in my arms.

I knew this couldn’t last much longer; I had to know why she was doing this.

Like clockwork for the past week some one had come to take my Elizabeth away and I was helpless to stop it.

Helpless?

Fuck that!

The word twisted in my gut unfamiliar to me like poison.

Somehow, someway this would end tonight.

As dusk fell over the humid heavy air of another late summer night the stranger in the black car sat in the driveway without a sound except for a mild hum of the engine waiting… waiting as I was for her to emerge.

My darkened wild eyes stare impatiently at the curved cobblestone pathway just to get a glimpse at the elusive creature that has made it a point to avoid me at every cost.

Gone from the house before I am allowed in for breakfast and safely in her room by the time I return from work she had skillfully, agonizingly driven the point home that she did not wish to see me.

Even the seven nights that she has gracefully slipped into the unknown car she is careful to always keep her head down knowing full well I am nearly ten feet above her.

How cruel and cold to not even acknowledgement my existence.

How elaborate is your disguise my lamb?

What do you hide from the world, what do you hide from me?

Again the words growl from inside me like a force not of my own.

This ends tonight.

Rational thought is not what’s driving me tonight as my pulse speeds like a train racing off the rails.

As my face nears the open window sweat covers the edges of my thick black hair and my bare chest.

The heat is suffocating but it doesn’t even come close to the betrayal that’s constricting my throat.

It’s true you’ve damaged me, taken my defenses away, left me in a state of weakness.

I can feel my claws, they are dull and not nearly sharp, and my teeth while they have been left unused are grinding into pointed edges as I crave the bitter taste of revenge that drove me to the place where it all began.

Where are you red?

What’s going through that pretty little mind of yours?

I think it’s about time we found out.

And just like an unexpected breeze on an unbearable hot night she appears drifting like rose petals down the path as if her delicate feet weren’t even touching the ground.

Her shinny jet-black hair pulled back in a ponytail sitting up high and sophisticated. Elegant like the little innocent posh princess everyone believes she is.

Only I know the wild child that hides below the surface, hiding from daddy and her Prep school friends.

I know the girl that screams to be fucked, that shivers as she comes, that stare into your eyes as if she wants to devour every inch of you.

I know you red.

I know you…

My wanting eyes drift over her body like a starving man needed to take every inch of her as if my life depended on it.

She’s dressed in a conservative short sleeve white dress ending below the knee, an acceptable length for a proper young woman.

As gorgeous as she is I prefer her in my tee shirt and in my bed.

My mind can’t stop racing thinking who the hell is in that car.

My imagination is punishing me…

I can see it all…

His hand on her thigh inching towards the secret treasure that belongs to me, his scheming words whispering flattering manipulating lines to get her into bed.

Fuck!!

My heart felt as if it were being squeezed from my chest as I held onto the few seconds I knew that were left before she disappeared for another night of agony.

My lips parted as my lungs filled frantically with air as if I desperately wanted to say something but like always nothing came.

I knew my time was running out, I knew she would slip away just as she always had this past week once again being lost to me.

But then it happened, unlike the nights before she hesitated.

Sitting in the car she held onto the door handle for a second longer then necessary then turned slowly and glanced up towards me.

With total confidence she knew I would be there I could see it in her eyes.

As if moving in slow motion her long dark lashes rose upwards towards the window above and held my gaze.

Her glorious breasts were heaving as if the sight of me left her breathless.

Her pale pink glossy lips parted carefully, her endless big brown eyes smoldered trying to convey words without speaking.

A single slight nod was all I was given before she disappeared and was whisked down the driveway out of sight.

Something deep snapped inside of me, I couldn’t wait any longer.

The bastard was out for the evening, I knew it was risky but I didn’t care anymore.

I ran to the garage by the stables where he kept his many cars that mainly sat there to impress his clients.

Knowing I didn’t have much time I hot-wired an old blue Chevy that he kept probably for sentimental reasons from his old college days.

Thanks to the big block motor still running strong in the antique muscle car and the sparse light that had not yet disappeared it wasn’t long before I caught up with them.

As I gripped the steering wheel down the long winding roads at eighty miles an hour it drifted through my mind that all reason had left me.

I was running on pure adrenaline and desire.

Betrayal was all I could think about or was it the lingering intoxicating taste of her skin that set me on fire.

As I drove recklessly down the winding roads with fierce determination I began to wonder if this was part of her game.

Was I playing right into her hands?

and if so...

did I even care?

[jake17]

Ellie
Carolyn x2
garcia 88
dreambeliever
Ginger
rosy rosy 2882
angelina
Black Bird Fly
dreamerfiend
Maiqu


Thank you so so much for your awesome fb! So sorry I've been away, I've missed being here so much!

Thank you so much for nominating Zan in this fic! I was very shocked! What a great surprise today!






Chapter 12

Revenge is the sword that wounds the one who wields it
~ E. C. McKenzie ~

My heart pumped fierce and strong as I clutched the steering wheel in front of the large white colonial mansion.

Lightening streaked quickly across the vast black sky followed by an earth shattering thunderous rumble.

My knuckles were bone white pinned against the wheel as I planned the pain I was going to bring down on this boy who dared touch my girl.

Releasing the wheel I rolled the window down to get a better view of the party that was happening inside.

Leaning back against the seat I searched the bodies that drifted casually by the massive arched windows.

She was nowhere to be found.

My eyes focused in on a flock of people that laughed and swayed to the music inside.

I studied them out of desperation; it was all I could do to busy my mind from speculating on where she was.

Probably some darkened bedroom or an out of the way hallway pressed up against a wall…

Shaking my head I clenched my jaw and refocused my attention straight ahead to keep myself from going crazy.

They all looked the same, rich white old money out for the night trying to escape from their mundane empty lives.

Tall skinny girls imitating the mothers' that they hated with lit cigarettes holding martini glasses with fake cold smiles talking to clean=cut pastel clothed pussy’s that held big fat cigars blocked my view.

A good plan would be to go back home and wait for her return, but a clear head wasn’t what I was dealing with tonight.

Blind passion and rage clouded my mind as the rain began to fall against the windshield.

I sighed as the steady base of the music inside vibrated against from classic white windows framed by black long thin shudders.

It was a far cry from the trailer park I was used to.

My hand slid back and forth against the door handle as I struggled with my next move.

Impatience pricked like needles at every nerve ending as my narrowed eyes jumped from window to window waiting for her to appear.

Curling my fingers around the silver lever I felt myself loosing what little self-control I had.

Stepping out onto the freshly mowed grass I walked tall and steady refusing to cower and sneak like some stalker who had no business going after her.

I had nothing to hide

I had felt the hot wet grip of Ms. Parker, tasted her salty tantalizing skin and heard her enticing cries for more.

Make no mistake.

She was mine.

It was time this rich asshole was in on the truth.

The consequences of my actions began to dissipate against the possibility that some other guy was kissing her lips, touching her silky hair.

The chances that my presence would get back to Mr. Parker were high and I’d be fired, cast out onto the streets but that meant very little to me now.

All I cared about was her…

The rain was coming down in sheets now soaking my clothes, dripping off my hair onto my face, once again the heaven lit up webbing white lines across the black sky.

It was then as the ground shook from the thunder that my lamb appeared before my eyes.

My feet froze in place as she gracefully strolled in front of a pair of French doors that lead to a balcony on the third floor.

My jaw clenched as her head fell back with laughter responding to a figure just out of view.

He was causing that smile, that smile that was meant just for me.

Enjoy it while you can, because I’m coming for you boy.

Leaning against a tall Oak tree I pulled out my cell and dialed her number, this was against the rules of course.

Too risky, daddy might be near, how would she ever explain?

We weren’t playing by her rules any longer.

I watched as her finger lifted in the air telling whomever to hold onto his obviously engaging conversation.

Seconds ticked by as I imagined breaking his kneecaps; wonder how funny he’d be then?

Resting the bottom of my boot against the rough bark I observed her hesitation as she stared down at the phone clearly shocked, unsure of what to do.

Answer the phone red

Turning her back to the boy hidden from my view she held her hand over the phone to muffle the sound of my voice.

Confident but cautiously she spoke.

“Hello.”

My voice was cool and deep as my eyes followed her every move.

“Having a nice time?”

Nervously she ran her hand across the back of her neck quickly looking back at the stranger that had my love’s attention just a few seconds ago.

“Zan, I told you not to call my cell…we agree it wouldn’t be = “

“What was so funny Liz? You really look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

Immediately she turned towards the window frantically looking outside.

”Don’t worry Liz you don’t have to look for me… I’m coming in.”

Shoving the phone in my pocket I walked up to the front door and pushed it open.

A sudden hush followed by a distinct silence swept across the room.

To say I looked out of place would be an understatement.

A tall girl by the fireplace pulled out her cell I’m assuming to call the police or her daddy.

At that moment Liz appeared waving her friend off with a flick of her wrist and a knowing glance.

Good girl little lamb, wouldn't want the police involved, daddy would be very embarrassed.

Dripping wet I stood at the bottom of a curved set of staircases under a sparkling chandelier staring up at her, waiting for an explanation.

Standing in puddle of water my eyes were glued to her as she calmly made her way down the steps one by one with her arm securely looped under his.

I froze stunned by the expression of annoyance and distance in her cold eyes.

“Josh let me talk to him, I’m sure he wouldn’t want to lose his job. He may look rough on the outside but really he’s harmless.”

Harmless? Is that what you’re pounding heart is telling you Red?

Pick another word.

I believe I actually felt the air being squeezed from my lungs as I gazed down into eyes that held little familiarity.

What game are you playing Red?

“I appreciate the attention Zan, really I do, but you have to understand we are from two different worlds. You do not belong here. Go now and my I’ll make sure my father never hears of this.”

Off in the distance I could hear the mocking laughter of the boy and a flock of his cronies.

All eyes were on me as the room remained silent waiting for my reaction.

Curling my hand into a fist I stepped towards the lanky blonde blue-eyed boy, I barely felt her tiny hand against my damp shirt but her words rammed into my stomach knocking me almost off my feet.

“Josh, this is about my mom. He believes we have this …connection. You see he lost his mother at an early age too. What was I supposed to do, he was so sad,” drops of water fell from my chin as she stared straight into my eyes.” I felt sorry for him.”

Don’t do this Red.

“Go home Zan, and I’ll forget this ever happened.”

Lowering my head I stared at the marble floor waiting for it to disolve into liquid and swallow me whole.

It was as if someone had punched an opening in my chest, like shards of glass had cut through to my heart tearing me apart.

Bleeding…gutted, I reached for my shirt as if I expected to find it ripped to shreds.

There I was stuck bloody wounded standing there in front of judging eyes that waited for my reaction.

My lamb had gone in for the kill.

With great precision and skill she had lunged and attacked only to stand stoic and unaffected seemly proud of her success …of her conquest.

Her words still echoed in my head, my mind spun as I tried to make sense of what she was saying.

There must’ve been a mistake; I must’ve heard her wrong.

But the seconds that slipped by like hours in my mind didn’t change the reality of what had happened, the severity of her voice sliced perfectly leaving me in a state of shock.

My chest heaved as I breathed in and out …struggling for a strength I hoped was still there.

Lifting my head up I searched for the one thing that would make me go on, the one thing I could hold onto that would keep my heart from completely shattering.

As if to secure his position he wrapped his arm tightly around her waist and eyed the open door as if to show me the way out.

Like a twig breaking in the woods my last nerve snapped.

My dark pained eyes narrowed as the smirk on his face came into view.

I focused all of my rage onto this unsuspecting boy who was lost in a drunken conversation with his frat brother who would be helpless to him in a second.

My thoughts settled in on one single decisive goal.

Curling my fist tight my body tensed as my senses sharpened clearly stripping away everyone and everything in the room …everyone except …him.

Lifting by boot to begin my descent I suddenly heard a far off whisper.

Against the willful harsh breath that pushed up against my clenched teeth I felt her warm mouth at my ear.

Appearing to helplessly raise her hands against my chest to stop me I heard her soft muffled voice.

“Meet me back home in twenty minutes, please Zan don’t. Please if you care at all for me just go home.”

Like a rehearsed dance she gracefully turned and quickly escorted him away along with his sloppy inebriated friends leaving me stunned frozen right where she left me.

Within seconds the music and chatter returned as if nothing had ever happened.

I could still feel her fragrant perfume lingering like a taunting prick of pain in the heavy air as the downpour crashed down upon the window panes threatening to break the fragile glass.

Stumbling outside I fell into the stolen muscle car only to find him standing in front of the hood.

Flicking on the headlights my anger grew out of control.

Why did it have to be him? Is he the only fucking cop in this god-forsaken town?

Closing my eyes I did my best to rein in my need to knock someone unconscious.

I had to get back to her and spending the night in jail wouldn’t exactly help me out.

When I felt calm enough I opened my eyes to find Kyle now at my window with a very bright flashlight turned up into my eyes.

“Is there a problem Zan?”

“You mean other than the fact that you’re blinding me right now?”

It wasn’t the best comeback but at least I didn’t hit him.

“I don’t think you belong here.”

His tone was strange and uneasy, almost as if he was warning me of something.

Like he was on my side.

“I was just leaving.”

Water fell from his wide brimmed hat as he tipped it down and nodded.

“I think that’s a good idea Zan.”

It didn’t make sense to me why he just let me go. He had been giving me a hard time ever since I stepped foot in this town, and I'm sure he knew that car didn't belong to me.

Looking back at him he seemed to be more interested in what was going on in that house than me.

Pulling out onto the road I wondered if it was Liz’s threat that made him act so polite all of a sudden. It was obvious she had dirt on him, now more than ever.

Shaking my head I turned the key as her face once again flooded my thoughts pushing away my theories on Ranger Rick’s sudden mood change.

Liz was all I could think about as I slammed my foot on the gas and sped dazed down the Oak lined streets.

Hugging the corners I was lost reliving that moment when I saw him with his hands on her, over and over I was caught in a hellish loop, a prisoner to her words.

Within minutes I had returned the car where I found it and was waiting in my little room over the garage pacing back and forth knocking over anything in my path.

Part of me wanted to throw her right out the door as soon as she came in, and part …the bigger part was dying inside to hold her as tight as I could.

But it came again and again …her words, his arm pressed up against her body as if he owned her as if …as if I could never hope to.

“Fuck!”

I felt the entire apartment shake as I retraced my fist back from the broken plaster and paint as it fell to my feet.

I stared at the hole where my fist had busted it all bloody and broken…

It was how I felt inside …ripped apart…wrecked.

“What the hell did you do?!”

Turning my head my wild eyes caught her worried expression.

My body was shaking with a mixture of anger and fear.

Fear of how much I cared …how much I loved her.

“Zan!”

Grabbing a dishtowel from the drawer she wrapped it around my hand and held it to her chest.

“Why did you hurt yourself!”

Confusion covered my still drenched face as I pushed my hair out of my eyes and shook my head.

My hoarse deep voice fell from my shaky lips as I fought for control.

“It was him that I wanted to hurt. That I should’ve hurt.”

She closed her eyes as her face filled with sorrow and regret.

I took a deep breath in as she flew into my arms and buried her head in my chest.

“Zan, I had no choice. I had to …I had to –“

Gritting my teeth I pulled her away and turned my back unable to look at her hurt filled expression knowing it would break me.

“Had to what? Make a fool out of me? Use my dead mother to –"

I felt her tiny hand on my back, then her warm soft body.

“Zan my father wants to send me away.”

I sat on the bed holding my head in my hands.

“What are you talking about? Send you where?”

Before I could react she had pulled my hands away and was standing between my legs forcing me to look at her.

Her big brown eyes glared down at me urging me to listen.

“He suspects us, he wants to send me to live with my Aunt in Virginia. I have to make it look as if Joshua and I were together. I had to make it look convincing. Those people at the party…their parents are all friends of my father’s. If it got back to him…I-I …"

“Would’ve had to tell him you’re … with me, and you couldn’t do that … could you?”

She lowered her head plunging a knife deep in my chest.

Her silence said it all.

I looked away as tears fought their way painful up my burning throat.

She stepped closer between my thighs her head still facing downward unable to face me.

I turned my head away as I felt my mother’s pathetic life repeating itself in me.

How could I let this happen?

Her voice was small almost breathy as she shivered wet from the rain herself.

“You are right Alexander.”

My eyes flickered back at her as she lifted my shirt placing her soft warm hand on my stomach.

“I am with you. I love you.”

“Don’t say that!”

I could feel the trap clamping down on me, the screws turning tight against my leg.

Escape was impossible.

Her lips trembled as she reached for my hands placing them on her waist.

“It’s been too long …too long since you’ve touched me.”

Her throaty plea shattered my resolve as I followed the raindrops watching as they disappeared between the valley of her wet breasts.

My head fell against the now see through white material stuck to her stomach as my hands slipped to the edge of her dress.

With great anticipation as to what was to come she laced her hands through the back of my hair and threw her head back.

“Please Zan!

Gripping the soaked fabric in my hands I pushed it up over her ass and swept my thumb slowly across her clit.

“Oh god!”

Even though I felt the strength of that trap clenching against my skin I knew I held a certain power over her.

Her desire mounted in waves as I licked my way between her quivering lips causing her to instantly orgasm.

My fingers dug in her cheeks pressing her closer as I dove again and again deep inside her touching that certain spot that caused her to eventually collapse against me.

Flipping her face down on the bed I pulled her wet ponytail from her flushed face so I could see how desperate she was for me to come inside.

I leaned on my knees and released my belt watching as she jumped from the sound of the metal knowing it would be soon.

She bit down hard on her bottom lip as I pulled my soaked shirt from my body and leaned down over her.

Whispering calmly against her cheek I teased her warm opening drawing out what I knew she wanted.

“So it was all an act?

I searched her face looking for a reaction as my hands smoothed over her ass dipping down to caress her.

She nodded vigorously “Of c-course …I only want you.”

She whimpered softly as I began to thrust slowly inside her.

I studied her as a bright flash of lightening encased her illuminating the small of her back as it arched upwards, the sweeping strokes of her long dark eyelashes that caressed her porcelain face, and the gentle curve of her breast pressing against the bed.

She was ....beautiful.

And I loved her.

There was no doubt the trap was tight …possibly unbreakable.

But that wasn’t what gnawed at the pit of my stomach.

I had to know …had to find out for myself if she was telling me the truth.

No doubt he knew, he seemed to know everything that went on around here, especially in the Parker household.

Question is… would he tell me.

Better Question…

Would I give him the choice?

[jake17]

Ellie
rosyrosy2882
Cocogurl
Caroyln
angelina
garcia88


thanks so much for the sweet fb! I actually had a dream on the how the rest of the story is going to be played out. so I should be posted very often now... hope you like what my crazy mind came up with








Chapter 13

Revenge, at first though sweet, Bitter ere long back on itself recoils.
~ John Milton ~

It was one of those perfect moments, like the one’s you read about in trashy romance novels.

A moment I thought I’d never want or more likely have.

Her lying in my arms sleeping so peacefully, her scent everywhere all around me, it was like being in meadow of wildflowers.

My hands securely nestled between long thick locks of her raven hair and a pair of silky thighs; I can’t believe what’s happening to me.

I know it wont last long, soon dawn will come and she will run off before her father wakes, so I force myself to keep my eyes open to remember every second.

Fireflies dance outside the window like the first night I spent here back when revenge fueled my every thought, drove my every action.

Now my mind is consumed with only one thing, like a never-ending song she plays over and over again in my head through my body piercing my heart and very soul.

For the first time in years I begin to wonder if I can let it all go, if I can possibly bury the pain that I’ve carrying around with me all this time.

Forgive me mom…

I love her…

I love her.

“Zan? Are you sleeping?”

My heart begins to race as she stirs against me.

I wish we could stay this way forever.

“Haven’t been to sleep yet.”

Lifting her head she gives me a devastating smile.

Just the slightest movement of her flawless body against mine renders me helpless to her.

Even so the unanswered questions about what was said last night linger all around us demanding an explanation.

“Liz we need to talk.”

She sighs deep as she sits at the edge of the bed and runs her hand through her hair.

It upsets me more than I like that the absence of her warmth even if only for a few seconds bothers me as much as it does, but her words from the night before haunt me to the point of exhaustion.

“Liz, are you embarrassed to be with me?”

Her head whips around quickly and in an instant I am met with her soft lips.

“How could you think that?”

My thumb tugs at her bottom lip wanting so much to believe her.

“Zan, I told you last night that my father threatened to send me away, …but there’s more. He also told me that if I …were determined to be with you he’d cut me off…financially.”

My heart sank, how could I compete with what her father could provide. I had nothing, the only thing I owned was a broken down trailer in the hot dusty desert.

Resting her hand on my chest she stared down at me as if she could read my mind.

“Zan, I have to go to college. There’s so much I want to do, so many people I want to help. I’ve worked my whole life for this chance... he knows this, he knows he has me right where he wants me.”

Breaking her glare I look away still rocked by something I can’t forget.

“Ok, but why did you have to bring up my mother. How could you tell that asshole about her...I thought you understood what she meant to me. Do you have any idea what it took to walk away …to not kill him?”

Tears filled her chocolate pools of regret as she grabbed my face and forced me to look at her.

“Zan I’m so sorry, can you ever forgive me? I had to say the one thing that I knew would get you to leave. If you had stayed they would've called the cops. You’d be in jail right now.”

I traced my fingers down her gracefull long neck to her collarbone mesmerized by how perfect she was.

So pure, so innocent.

I wondered for a moment if she had any idea of the power she had over me.

How with one look or hurtful word she could tear me apart.

My stomach twisted at the thought of what I had planned to do to her.

How was I to know she'd be my solace ...the one thing that could heal my wounds.

As if planning it she moved ever so slightly releasing the sheet from her body.

A coy smile played effortlessly across her flushed exquisite face as she stroked my chest letting her fingers drift down to my stomach driving me to distraction.

God how I wanted her.

But it worried me deep inside how easy it was for her to play the part, to cut me down in front of her friends.

Not exactly the act of an innocent lamb.

Once again my head spun wondering if I could trust her.

“So you said all that for me, is that what you expect me to believe?”

Taking my hand she lowered it to her breast.

I watched as her mouth fell open as my fingers began to stroke her increasingly hard nipple.

With a harsh whisper she arched her back in the most seductive alluring way.

“It’s the truth, everything I’m telling you is the truth Alexander.”

How could I not believe her, she was like an angel.

Something I could only hope to touch in this life.

Straddling my waist she gasps as I enter her. I am once again lost …lost in the heaven that I experience whenever I’m inside her.

Somewhere outside of this heaven I feel the steel jaws of her snare snap as they cut deep into my skin.

Rapture mixes with fear as I fall further and further under her spell.

How could I let this happen.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Back at the mill I watch the clock, I told him to be here after closing.

Eyeing the door I wonder if he’ll be curious enough to show.

He is.

“Hello Zan.”

Turning off the loud machine I grab a rag and wipe the grease off my hands.

Turing over a milk crate I invite him to sit.

He obliges with a degree of cautiousness.

This is the first time I've seen him without his uniform. He almost looks normal. Like someone I might hang with.

Too bad we hate each other.

“So, why am I here? Concerned I'm going to fill Mr. Parker in on your little joy ride last night…cause –“

“Its about Liz.”

His smile left as quickly as it came as soon as I mentioned her name. Its obvious how much she means to him.

“What about Liz?”

“I need to know if something is true, something she told me.”

Averting his eyes to the ground he stuffs his hands inside his pockets and lowers his voice as if this is the last thing he wants to be talking about.

“What makes you think that I would know this …information?”

Flipping another milk crate over I sit across from him so I can study his reactions.

“Well you seem to know everything about Liz…and her father.”

A grave serious expression over takes him as he look straight at me.

“Her father?”

“Look I’m going to cut the bullshit. We both know you are aware that me and Liz are …together. Question is does Mr. Parker suspect anything?”

Kyle immediately gets up and starts for the door.

"Look Kyle she told me that she's been spending a lot of time with Joshua Adams, I know you know him."

Nervously Kyle reaches the edge of the exit. I know he wants out of this conversation but I need to know.

“Seems like this is something you and Liz should be discussing.”

"Kyle she told me she was with him because her father threathened her. She told me that he'll send her away if she doesn't obey him. Is she lying?"

Sighing heavily I can see him getting more and more agitated.

Opening the door he doesn't look back before stepping one foot outside.

Standing I yell something that I know will stop him dead in his tracks.

“You either answer my questions or I'll find out the dirt she's got on you. Maybe Mr. Parker would be as interested as I am. I'm thinking it must be pretty bad if it got you off my back.”

Just as I thought Kyle freezes. His shoulders slump as if he is defeated.

Whatever she knows must be something serious if he’s willing to talk to me to avoid it getting out.

“He definitely suspects you and Liz are together. I didn't tell him if that's what you're thinking, even though I think she's throwing her life away with you."

Pausing he turns to face me, I could tell it was hard for him to continue.

Zan this is not someone you want to fuck with –“

Laughing at the very thought that the bastard could ever hurt me I turn shaking my head towards Kyle.

“I’m not afraid of him.“

“You should be. He has spies everywhere, there’s nothing he can’t find out, and god help you if you cross him. Zan he knows people, powerful people. He’ll make you regret ever coming here. He’ll make you regret being alive.”

Pacing back and forth now I wonder if there’s a shred of truth to what he’s saying or if this is all to get me to stay away from Liz.

“Are you sure you’re not saying all of this because of how you feel about Liz?”

He looks at me as if I just punched him in the stomach.

"Josh Adams comes from old money Zan, this is a deal Mr. Parker had in place probably before Liz could walk. Around here people are chess pieces ...even his precious daughter. This union is something he needs to further his place in society and his business. There is no way he will let someone like you wreck it all."

I believe what he's telling me but i can't help thinking there is more to the story, he cares too much for her, I can see it in his eyes.

“What happened between you?”

Walking over to a window that was clouded with dirt he begins to draw lines in the soot as if remembering something he’d rather forget.

“Liz and I grew up together. Played together as kids... we were inseparable. I was there for her when her Mrs. Parker became sick. I would sneak in her window and hold her as she cried when her mom past away. She did the same when my mother took off for California. We loved each other …only she loved me as a friend."

Suddenly he looked more like a little boy than the big bad police officer he's been portraying all this time.

"I guess I couldn’t handle that. One night I got up the nerve to kiss her. We were on the porch, she was so beautiful. It was after the sophomore dance. I think she went with me because she felt sorry for me but I didn’t know that back then. I leaned in to kiss her …that’s when Mr. Parker found us.”

His fingers turned into a fist as obvious pain rushed through him.

“Apparently the son of a divorced middle class cop wasn’t good enough for his little girl.”

Peering out the window I took a quick look to make sure no one was coming.

“What did he do Kyle?”

He lowered his voice and turned towards the door.

“Let’s just say he made himself clear …mainly with his fists.”

Shocked I approached him

“He hit you?’

“Almost lost consciousness. I ran home bleeding, my nose broken. Later that night I came back with a can of gasoline.”

I watched as he ran his hand down the wall of the old mill we we’re standing in.

It was then that I noticed the burnt section of wood that was different from the backside of the building.

“Almost burned the place to the ground. Would’ve too if Liz hadn’t come along. She hid me in the woods just as the cops got there. She told them a drifter did it. Gave them a description and everything. She saved my life that day.”

Slowly he began to walk outside.

“If you want my advice Zan, leave this place. Forget about her…because I promise you in the end …you’ll be better off. She’s got a good heart but she’s part of him. She wants this life, she belongs with someone like Joshua, guys like you and me…we’re just entertainment for them. You’ll never convince her to be with you. She’ll never do it. Leave before you get in too deep and it’s too late."

But it was too late.

There was no way I could just let her go now.

Running to the main house I saw her moving left to right in front of the window.

Reaching for my cell I called her.

I could see he smile appear on her beautiful face.

"Zan!”

“I need to see you, we have to talk, can you get away?”

“Not to the garage he’ll see me, we have to go somewhere else.”

Looking back at the old building almost a mile away I knew it was the perfect place.

“Meet me in the mill soon as you can.”

Standing in the dark my feet ankle high in saw dust I could understand klye, being so fueled with hate and rage for that bastard I couldn't blame him for lighting the place up in flames.

I've felt that hate eating away at my gut for as long as I could remember.

Liz took all that away, she did the impossible and made me want something more than vengeance …she made me want to live for the first time…to think of a future instead of the destruction and pain that was my past.

She’s giving me the one thing I thought I’d never have…peace.

“Hey you."

Turning towards her I am physical struck by her beauty.

She's wearing cut offs and a white tank top, her hair is wild all around her golden shoulders.

I know I don’t have the right to say what I’m about to say but I can’t help it.

“Run away with me Liz.”

Tilting her head to the side she steps cautiously towards me.

"Zan-“

"Liz we belong together, you can’t tell me you’ve ever felt this way before.”

Rushing towards her I grab her by the shoulders and our lips crash passionately together.

“You can’t tell me that you’ve had this fire with anyone…I can give you a good life. I can make you happy.”

She’s looking up at me with an intensity I haven’t seen before but I can’t read her mind.

I can see it in her eyes she needs to hear the words from me.

Fuck it Red, you’ve got me, I’m caught in your trap and I don’t want to escape.

“I love you.”

She’s visibly surprised by my admission.

Still there is no answer to my request.

Only her hands running over my chest her mouth on my neck, within seconds I have her pinned to the wall legs around my waist her shorts in a ball on the ground.

Lightly I nibble on her rosy hard nipple as I thrust deep inside her.

”Tell me …tell me you’ll go with me.”

I can hear her soft whimpers in my ear, feel her body as it begins to tense, she going to come.

God I could die in her arms right now and have no regrets.

Reaching down I flick her clit and revel in her cries of ecstasy.

Sweaty and breathless in my arms she nods her head slowly.

“I’ll go with you.”

My head falls to her shoulder as I rest her feet on the ground.

She presses her tiny frame against me; I can feel her smile against my fevered skin.

I have all I need now, for the first time in my life I feel like I have a chance….a chance to know what its like to be happy.

"Hey what do you have here?”

Before I can stop her the unthinkable happens.

She’s pulled out the picture from my back pocket and looks at it mystified.

“Zan... this is my house…”

“Liz give me the picture…”

Backing away from me she holds her hand out to stop me from taking it.

"Please LIz just give it to me!"

“Wait …this is my dad…but who...who is this woman?”

Anguish covers her face as she turns the picture over and reads the description.

Liz isn't stupid, she reads the date, sees the resemblance.

"Zan ...is Sarah ...is she your mother?"

Tears stream down her face as the weathered photo shakes in her hands.

“Who are you?”

[jake17]

Ellie:

OH SHIT!

Ellie can I just tell you I run to my computer to read your replies thanks for always being here! You have no idea how much you make me laugh! your awesome!
angelina: ok sweetie, Sarah is Zan's mom, she was madly in love with James (Mr.Parker) they were engaged to me married, but through pressure from his family Mr. Parker broke it off and left her.She was poor and there for not a suitable match him. He was a coward & an asshole. he married who they told him to marry. He wanted to hold onto his money. thanks so much for being here, you are the best!
Kris: it is sad what happened to Kyle, but there is much more to come without giving it all away. thanks so much for sticking with this for so long!
rosyrosy2882; sorry I made this confusing, I actually went back to the 1st chpt and stuck in a couple of lines so its very clear that they are not related. Read what I wrote to angelina above, i think it explains everything. if not this update should. sorry about that. thanks so much for being here!
Cocogurl: Oh wait Liz's father get's much worse! love that you think Zan is hot! love your fb! thanks so much!!
Carolyn

Well Carrie,
Your crazy mind is in overdrive right now......but I love it.

: can I just tell you how much I love your fb? I can't believe how nice you are to me. Please know how much I appreciate it! hopefully I'll be able to write as much as I used to again so watch out, my crazy mind is on the loose again



Just to let everyone know, I went back and stuck in a couple of lines in the first chpt to make it more clear that Zan and LIz are not related. Zan's mother Sarah was engaged to James, (Liz's dad) she was basically from the wrong side of town and poor, James' mother pressure him into marrying Liz's mother for status money and power. This set off a chain of horrible events in Sarah's (Zan's mom) life. Devasted she was never able to forget her only true love and died broken hearted from cancer. All Zan's life he has listen her her cry over this and has blamed James for all her pain. Hence the Revenge...

Sorry if I made this confusing
this update is NOT the end...much more to come














Chapter 14.

Revenge is barren of itself: it is the dreadful food it feeds on; its delight is murder, and its end is despair.
~Johann Friedrich Von Schiller

I feel as if ice-cold water is rushing through my veins as she looks up at me waiting for an answer.

My mind goes blank; nothing is coming to me. Panic has struck me like a bolt of lightening leaving me paralyzed.

As if all at once I am full of the overwhelming knowledge of just how much she means to me.

To imagine loosing her is beyond my comprehension.

Fuck! Think Zan think!

Years of living by my quick wit, charm and street wise ways is completely meaningless as I stare into her wide doe eyed hurt expression.

Clearing her throat she trembles as she picks up her clothes and backs out of the mill still clutching the picture of my mother in her hand.

“I asked you a question!” Her angry tone has changed to one of a wounded whimper as she trips in an attempt to pull up her shorts.

Holding her shirt to her chest she lets the tears run down her face. Seeing that she is too distraught to even wipe them away I approach her.

Raising my thumb to her flushed cheek she beats back my arm.

“Don’t touch me!”

Like a knife to my heart she cannot even stand my touch.

“Lies, it was all lies! You coming here, everything you said, everything we did - “

“No! No please Liz listen to me its not like that!”

Sobbing now she’s leaning against the door her hand perched on the knob.

“Then what is it? Is this your mother? And if so why are they together?! Why did you come here!”

My mind raced as I tried to come up with some explanation – some lie that would make it all right, that would make her forgive me. Only the more I tried to lie the worst I felt inside.

I’ve spent a lifetime only thinking of myself and now when it was all on the line, when I needed the most important lie of my life …I couldn’t do it.

Looking down at her so lost, watching the agony in those innocent eyes that were full of betrayal I just could do it.

“Liz I will tell you everything but you have to calm down, please lets go back to my apartment so we can talk – “

Flipping the picture back around to me she demanded to know everything right then and there and she wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Who is this woman?”

Staring at the image of my mother looking so happy so full of life I never felt so low, all this time I was filled with such rage but as I looked into her angelic face I knew for the first time that this would’ve been the last thing she would’ve wanted me to do.

My mother was so compassionate so kind to others, she never would’ve wanted me to hurt Liz this way.

How could I have not seen this before? Why after all those times of holding her hand while she lay dying in that retched hospital did I not see that all she cared about was that I was able to find my own peace.

For some reason her weak strained words drifted in my head as I watched Liz cry.

“Just let it go Alexander, find your own happiness in life. You have to let this go…for me.”

At the time happiness for me meant making the man who caused her all this pain suffer unimaginable torment and loss…but that was before Liz, before I knew what it was like to love and be loved.

I couldn't lose her now …not after everything…

If I had a chance at salvaging anything between us I had to come clean …I had to tell her the truth.

Lowering my head I found it impossible to look her in the eyes.

The room echoed with her soft sniffles and breathless sobs.

It was killing me to see her in so much pain…pain that I caused.

“Yes it’s true Liz …that is my mother. Her name was Sarah, and she knew your father.”

Shock covered her distressed tear stained face as she turned the image over again so she could see her face.

Calculating the date 1987 she flashes her watery eyes back up to me.

“This is the year my parents were married.”

Nodding slowly I could almost feel my mother’s pain as I stood where it all happened.

Watching her shake I could almost sense the possible explanations flying through her mind.

Waving the picture in the air she clung her shirt to her chest and cried.

“Say something!”

Turning I punched the wall behind me bloodying again my already damaged knuckles.

Closing my eyes I could see my mother smiling brightly, her hair flowing all around her suspended in the air by the summer breeze that day.

His arm tightly clutching her shoulder pulling her in close, promises of forever resting on his cowardly lips.

“They were in love. My mother, your father.”

Turning towards her I avoided the painful expression on her face.

Pointing to the words engagement party on the back of the picture I briefly glance down at her regretting the urge to look into her eyes.

I heard a sharp gasp fall from her mouth. The mouth that just a few minutes ago was pressed to mine.

A few minutes that now seems like an eternity.

Resting my forehead against the wall I sighed to myself wishing I could hold my mother’s hand just one more time.

“They were to be married that fall. My mom always loved the red and orange leaves around here. She used to talk about it all the time. How you could smell the smoke from fireplaces burning at night and the crisp cool air …I think it made her feel alive.”

Rubbing her temples her voice broke. “Zan I don’t understand, my parents were married on October fifteenth nineteen eighty seven. How could this picture be of your mom and my dad’s engagement party in the summer of that same year.”

“Because your grandmother would never allow such a union Elizabeth."

Running to Liz I threw my shirt over her covering her up and stand in front of her to protect her as her father stood cigar in one hand brandy snifter in the other.

"Sarah was from the wrong side of town, she held little worth. It was a better business decision to marry your mother; I didn’t understand that then but with age comes a certain wisdom. It was for the best.”

Swirling the amber liquid around in his wrinkled hand he tilted his baldhead to the side and cleared his throat.

“Elizabeth, go back to the house.”

Looking as if she was torn in two she vehemently shook her head. “No, I want to know what’s going on and I want to know now!”

Snickering he raised his glass in my direction, his white wiry eyebrows perched high in the air his bright red nose turned upward smugly.

“Well my little girl, I believe Mr. Alexander Evans here has come to our little homestead to exact a little revenge on your father for retracting a marriage proposal from his mommy a long, long time ago, am I correct Zan? Do I have all the details in order? Or did I leave something out.”

Red flashed before my eyes as I charged towards him only to have Liz throw herself between us.

“Zan! Is this true?”

I could only concentrate on slamming my fist into his arrogant bloated face as he stared back at me almost amused by all of this.

That’s when I felt her hand on my chin, her warm fingers guiding my face to look at her.

“Zan please explain to me what’s going on….I-I love –“

Her father let out a big boastful belly laugh as he downed the rest of his brandy.

“You love him? Oh sweetie I hate to be the one to tell you this but what you thought was love all this time was actually his masterful plan to win your heart just to destroy it. Or more precisely to destroy me.”

Blown away I stood there crushed before her watching as she wrapped her arms around herself staring up at me waiting for me to prove him wrong.

“Boy, did you really think I would let a complete stranger into my life without checking you out first?”

Stroking her hair he gazed at her as if admiring a work of art.

“She is beautiful isn’t she?”

My eyes filled with tears for the first time since I watched them lower my mother into the ground.

“It was easy enough to figure out your plan, but I knew my little girl. I knew it wouldn’t be long before you fell for her. I also knew she’d never walk away from her trust fund. You see Zan all I had to do was sit back and wait. You hung yourself with your own rope, it was quite entertaining actually.”

Wrapping her hands around my waist she laid her head against my chest, her tears falling against my skin.

“Zan please …tell me this isn’t true, tell me he’s lying.”

My broken voice struggled to find the right words, wishing so much that I could just take it all back.

I could almost feel the flesh tear from my bone as the steel barbs cut into my skin … it was only then that I begun to understand …

The more you struggle against love the harder you fall doomed to its will.

You become lost in the illusion that you were ever in control …for it’s not the body that’s trapped by love’s merciless clutches…it’s the heart...

The fragile beating heart that rests in all of us.

And mine now forever belonged to her…

[jake17]

Ellie
Kris
angelina
rosyrosy2882
Cocogurl
Black Bird Fly
Ginger
Sptfire86


thanks so much for all your sweet fb!


Quote from Wuthering Heights








Chapter 15.

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you
~ Lewis B. Smedes ~

Standing in the room above the garage I looked down at my duffle bag still blindsided by what had happened.

Out by morning!

His gruff voice still echoed in my head as I looked around waiting for some miracle to save me from the wreckage that I know I was responsible for.

It’s a strange feeling when you lose everything that holds any meaning in your life.

I was waiting for the anger to come as it always had when horrible events would happen to me.

I was almost welcoming the rage that filled my belly when my mother died, but there was nothing, just a numb cold pit in my stomach.

The emptiness that filled my gut was almost paralyzing, the well that I had gone to so many times to fill that void had gone dry.

Sitting on the bed I shared with her only hours ago I closed my eyes and tried to remember.

I could almost see the curve of her hip as the moonlight danced upon it with floating shadows of leaves from the trees sparked by the winds of the hot summer night.

How I craved for the anger, the rage that had fuelled me for so long, anything would be better than this …nothing.

Lifting my bag over my shoulder my eye caught the first break of dawn as it peaked out over the rolling green hills from view out the tiny window.

It was time for me to go.

“Hey.”

Unable to look towards the familiar voice at the door I nodded knowing why he was here.

“I could’ve just walked.”

Stuffing his hands in his pockets he tipped his wide brimmed hat upwards and squinted as the bright orange light pierced the horizon.

“Yeah, I suppose so, but its not a problem. Its really too hot for a walk today.”

Standing I take one last look around as her fragrant scent still lingered in the air ripping mercilessly at my heart.

“I just need a minute, I’ll meet you at your car.”

There was no argument, no authoritative words of warning, for Kyle understood the pain I was in, and even more the reason for my deceit.

“Take your time.”

As I made my way up to the side door the house was eerily quiet, almost as if there had been a death, there was a tangible feeling of loss and mourning.

Carefully I climbed the steps to her room feeling the air in my chest becoming tighter and tighter knowing she would soon be lost to me forever.

As I approached the long seemly endless hallway I heard the deep grumble and whistle of his breath as he sat passed out in the high back Victorian floral chair just feet from her room guarding her like an old bulldog protecting his bone.

I stood over his defenceless bloated alcohol drenched body and pondered how easily it would be to end it all.

With one swift slice to the neck with my blade I could watch as the blood spilled from the rolls of his neck.

Somehow staring down at this old fragile man he seemed almost vulnerable, not the monster I had made him out to be but a pathetic shadow of memory that I used to quell the pain of a loss too much for me to handle.

As hard as it was to except, this had been my mother’s life, her pain and struggle to bear, I had my own path to take, my own life to carve out.

It was time I let them both go; it was time to move on.

As I turned towards her room my boot landed on a loose floorboard breaking the silence I had tried so hard to maintain.

A soft hoarse whisper stilled my heart.

"It’s ok, I know you’re here.”

Taking a deep breath I raised my tired eyes up to see her sitting on the edge of her bed.

Her white nightgown slipped down from one shoulder exposing her golden sun kissed skin, her hair wild and wavy pulled around to one side of her neck, the edges brushing torturously against the peak of her breasts.

She was almost too painfully beautiful for me to look at her.

My eyes lowered to her bare feet that dangled like a child hovering just above the dark hard wood floor.

These are the images that would haunt me for the rest of my days, never giving me one moment of peace, an endless reminder that I was once loved by neither a lamb nor a wolf... but an angel.

How I wished I’d let her lift me out of the dark woods, of my tortured mind and release me from my self-imposed trap of bitterness of hate before it was too late.

There would be only loss and sadness for what could've been now as I approached her with my head lowered bending on my knees in front of her.

“I know you can never forgive me, it’s not what I deserve or expect, but if you’ll let me explain, just so you know …why …”

Wiping a tear from her eye she sat stoic and still as she slowly nodded towards me.

Low and raspy full of regret my devastated heart was easily visible as I reached for the worn faded book.

Carefully running my fingertips over the title Wuthering Heights I held it in my hands knowing my time was running out.

"This is the only thing I have left of her, she loved this book, she read it to me over and over when I was young. I want you to have it."

Clearing my throat I couldn't let her see the emotion that I was failing to hold back.

"My revenge against your father was sometimes the only thing that got me through my life, now I know it was my crutch, a way of dealing with something so painful that death often times seemed merciful. It was wrong I know that now, I know that because you showed me that the only thing stronger than hate is love. I can let it all go now, I can let her rest, thanks to you I can move on.”

“Zan –“

“Please this is hard enough.”

Nodding she slipped off the bed and onto her knees placing her tiny warm hands against my face.

“Just know that my love for you was real.”

Handing to her the weathered book I opened it to a page that was folded back and pointed to a passage that was lightly underlined in pencil.

My voice broke as tears formed in my eyes.

"I'm not good with words, or feelings, I think you know that, but this explains what's in my heart better then I ever could, please read it and know that I will love you always.”

My hands shook as I reached for the doorframe for support feeling as if I would never breathe again.

“Good bye my sweet Elizabeth.”

Stumbling down the hall I listened to her weep as she whispered the quote aloud that reflected the words I felt deep inside for a girl that would forever hold my heart in her hands.


"I want to crawl to her feet, whimper to be forgiven, for loving her, for needing her more than my own life, for belonging to her more than my own soul."


As I passed his limp body I hesitated knowing what I needed to do.

My deep quiet voice stifled her cries briefly as she listened to my admission.

“For Elizabeth, my mother and more importantly for me I need to say this. The pain you’ve caused is now your burden and yours alone to carry."


Taking a deep breath I took one last look towards her as if trying to capture her forever in my mind.

Swallowing hard I looked now into the stark blue eyes that glared up at me with hatred and distain.

"Mr. Parker, I …forgive you.”

It was finally over.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Sitting back on the loud smoky bus heading home I reached for the picture that I had been holding onto for so long.

Devastated and lost I watched as the majestic Connecticut town faded in the distance.

It was that point that I realized she gave me more than love…

Without her I wouldn’t have found the forgiveness I so desperately needed.

Lifting my hand up towards the open window I let go of the yellowed frayed picture and all the torment it carried with it.

The peace she gave me paled in comparison to the loss I would feel forever.

But she had shown me the way out of the dark woods and into the light and for that I will always be grateful.

I was free…

I am free

[jake17]

Ellie: thank you for following this story from the beginning, you kept me laughing more than you know, Mr. Parker I would think is going to end up a very lonely old man, at least that's how I see him. thanks again so much!
Kris: So hope you like the ending, I can't thank you enough for all your amazing sweet replies. I looked forward to reading every one of them!
Carolyn: You have so often been my inspiration to keep writing, it's always been when I doubted myself I'd get this glowing encouraging fb or pm from you. I really can't thank you enough.
dreamerfiend:I can't believe you remembered that I wrote that "i am free" line in my other story! i was so shocked! Yes it definitely has a personal important meaning for me. thanks so much for noticing, I so appreciate all your very kind words. thank you so much.
dreambeliever:

You ca't do this Carrie...you can't.....come back here and fix this!

loved your fb!! hope I made you happy, in the only way I could at this point thank you so much for being here this whole time, i so appreciate it!
angelina: oh what to say to you I love how passionate you get with my characters, it pushes me to write all the time, your always supportive and kind words mean so much to me, you really have no idea. thank you from the bottom of my heart.
pandas2001: thanks for the interest in their ending, so hope i didn't disappoint.
Jan: I think Ive read your fb about 20 times, i still can't believe you feel that way about my writing, you know enough about my life to realize how much your kind words mean to me. so incredibly happy that we became such good friends. there are no words for how special you are. thank you for absolutely everything.
roswell3053: So happy you've gotten caught up with the updates, I really hope you like the ending, thanks so much for taking the time to leave fb.
Black Bird Fly: I think you know you have been my biggest inspiration in writing this, I still have a hard time believing the incredible things you've written about this story. I really can't thank you enough for taking the time to write such amazing replies to me. For you I especially hope I didn't let you down. again thank you so much.


Just to let everyone know endings are the absolute hardest parts of a story for me to write. You've all been so amazing to me I really am holding my breath that I don't let anyone of you down.

thanks to all the people who stayed with this for so long, and all the lurkers too, I never forget about you.

I already have my next Zan and Liz story waiting in the wings, "Damaged" for anyone who is interested. I'll be posting as soon as Wicked is finished.








Quote from Wuthering Heights









Chapter 16

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return
~ Moulin Rouge ~

Four months later
December 21
Last Stop Bar and Grill
Roswell New Mexico






Looking up at the star filled sky I can’t help thinking where she is at this very moment.

Maybe sitting in the prestigious Yale Library, her pile of books sprawled out on a long mahogany table.

Her hair tossed in a messy ponytail, her winter coat and scarf draped over the high backed chair with arms stretched out ending in lion’s claws.

I can picture her hard at work studying for that last final exam, last one left in the huge empty hall, snow falling like crystal twisted cotton outside crisscrossed iron lattice windows.

I thought it would get easier over time, hurt less, but the pain is just as sharp as if the dagger had just been sliced through my gut today.

The torture really lies in not knowing how she is.

I could exist although barely in this world if I knew that she was happy, doing what she loved, living her life the way she deserves to be, helping people, shinning brightly with the talents that only she possesses.

But I am left in the dark.

The first month I sent letters, one for everyday we were apart, but they all came back unopened.

The first few I received should’ve been enough of a hint for me that she had moved on but I’m stubborn that way.

It’s hard to let go of a miracle, not many people get to hold such a force, such a pure soul.

I guess I just couldn’t except mine was gone.

So now I’m left with memories…

Her bare playful feet splashing in the cool blue water…

Her loud shameless laugh as she ran carelessly through the meadow while dragonflies danced all around her, wanting to be close to her, the way I did….

The graceful slumber of her naked body as her sweet slow breath kissed my chest….

You’d think these recollections would fade with time, but they only grow more vivid, colors became sharper, sounds more defined as if she was whispering against my ear, and her scent …her scent that was privy to her and her alone, delicate lilac with just a indication of sweet vanilla trailing after her like a summer breeze.

Now after four months I’ve come to accept that these after thoughts of her will never become faint and as painful as they are a part of me is happy for that.

“Hey Zan! Are you sure you don’t want to come back home with me? My wife can’t cook for shit but she’s bakes the best Apple pie in town! Our house is packed with people, it might help to get your mind off things, besides no one should spend Christmas alone.”

Wiping down the counter I shudder at the thought of making polite conversation around a table full of family and friends I hardly know.

Just the same Joe is a nice solid guy who I am more that grateful for.

Smiling I lean back against the wall behind the bar and let the string of colorful Christmas lights blur together in a vibrant haze sending me once again back to a place I cannot forget.

Snapping his fat sausage like fingers twice to capture my attention I shake my head as I’m pulled back into reality.

“Zan my boy, did you hear a word I said?”

“Yeah sorry I’m just tired is all, it’s been a long day.”

Mumbling to himself as he reaches for his jacket Joe seems more than a little worried.

“Uh huh, look I’m just concerned about you staying out in that trailer for the whole week while we’re going to be closed. You’re too young to be spending so much time by yourself, you should be out living your life.”

Grinning politely I wave him off practically pushing him out the door.

“I’ve told you this a million times old man, I’m not wasting my life, I just need a break from …people for a while.”

Placing his hand on my shoulder he nodded understanding my need for solitude.

“Sarah was practically family to me and Molly, she would want me to look after you Zan and I’m happy to do it, but she wouldn’t want you to live this way forever, that’s all I’m saying.”

Turning away I’m lost as to what to say, I don’t think he was really expecting an answer, it was probably harder for him to speak than it was for me to hear.

I have a feeling this was a speech he promised to deliver from his wife and he was glad It was over.

At any rate it was appreciated and understood and I think he knew that.

“Ok well I’m going to be heading home now, listen why don’t you close early tonight, the last bus already stopped by and I’m sure all the truckers have bedded down for the night.”

Glancing out the window into the small empty parking lot surrounded by darkness I’m thinking for once the old man was right.

“Seeing that it’s ten thirty and we haven’t had a customer since noon today I think I will turn in early. I’m just going to finish cleaning up before heading to my trailer, thanks for the invite Joe, give Molly my apologies.”

Poking his round baldhead through the door he studied me carefully before realizing I wasn’t about to change my mind.

“Will do, you enjoy your week off, I’m leaving you my Ford truck just in case you get cabin fever, it’s got a full tank of gas, it’s old but it will get you where you need to go.”

Flipping the dirty rag over my shoulder I wave forcing another smile from my face.

I watch him until his rusty camper disappears in a cloud of dust relieved that I was finally alone.

Joe was one of the most generous guy’s I’d ever known and I was more than lucky he happened to be outside the bus station that day I pulled in.

Honestly I’m not sure what I would’ve done if he didn’t give me a job and a place to stay.

I had known him most of my life, before he had decided to buy this bar in the middle of nowhere.

Back then owned a small gas station while his wife was a nurse at the hospice where my mother spent her last few months.

I guess seeing me there every night left a soft spot in her heart for me.

Looking around the dark musty orange and brown fake Arizona décor I realized they were right, I couldn’t stay here forever.

I guess I had to think about getting the courage up again to find a life for myself.

Raking my hand threw by hair I decided to save that thought for another day.

It was about an hour later after I had finished mopping the floors and wiping down the tables.

Reaching for the remote I shut off the television leaving an eerie sound of the desert wind rattling the old wooden windows.

After locking up I went out the back door to the broken down green trailer that was barely big enough for one person.

There was no need for a key as I pushed open the thin metal door.

Collapsing on the small couch I flipped on the TV and lit a cigarette, it was then when I lifted my boots upon the coffee table that I notice what looked like an envelope stuck to the bottom of my heel.

“What the hell?”

Mud stained and faded I sighed wondering what bill I had forgotten to pay.

As I read the artistic swirl of her name in her beautiful handwriting I felt my heart pound for the first time in months.


Ms. Elizabeth Parker
Yale University
2 Whitney Avenue
6th Floor, Rm 5
New Haven, CT 06520

Mr. Alexander Evans
Last Stop Bar and Grill
Route 68 South
Roswell, New Mexico 46100

I could barely breath as I lowered my feet to the ground staring at the envelope as though I was hallucinating.

Swallowing hard I prepared myself for a causal note, something simple, maybe she felt bad for sending back my letters and needed to do this for closure.

Yes, that had to be it…closure.

Taking a deep breath I carefully lifted the edges as if it were precious.

My hands shook as I pulled out the pale yellow stationary that was adorned with delicate purple flowers, just like the ones that grew under her window back in Connecticut.

My heart raced as if I were holding a piece of her, a tiny imprint of someone so special, someone I thought I’d never see again.

As my eyes followed the swirl of dark black loops and swirls of her letter there was but only one line written beautifully in the center of the perfumed delicate paper.

I recognized it immediately; it was a passage my mother had read to me several times on her deathbed.

It held a different meaning now as my heart soared with each word as if I was flying next to the brightest star in a sky full of possibilities.

"How can you stand here beside me and pretend not to remember? Not to know that my heart is breaking for you, that your face is the wonderful light burning in all this darkness."

"She loves me...but...why?"

I stood frozen, paralyzed with blissful confusion, and then it hit me.

Shoving my books off my shelf furiously I pulled out a shoebox that held every letter I ever sent her.

Each one was stamped the same


Return To Sender


“She never got my letters, he sent them back…”

"He sent them back!"

Grabbing my duffle bag I stuffed as many clothes as I could.

Running to the front door of the bar I taped a note knowing that Joe would understand.



Joe,

Will get the truck back to you as soon as I can…
Going to live my life
She loves me…

Thanks for everything
Zan

Driving as fast as I could down the highway I held her letter tight in my hand, for in the end it wasn’t hate or deceit or even revenge that drove me to the depths of hell and soaring up to the heights of heaven …

it was love…

And I would do anything for the chance to find it again…



~ the end ~