Posted: Sat May 27, 2006 1:04 pm
Hey all, a lot of flashbacks in this one. Though they’ll be getting less as Max and Liz begin to meet up more
I know I've got all the prom and final dates mixed up, but forgive me! I'm british! (my excuse for everything btw...
Time Changes Everything
Chapter 11
Liz frantically shoved as many clothes as she could get into her mid-sized luggage case. She didn’t care that her Mom was standing above her disapprovingly, arms crossed and glaring. Nancy’s eyes were slit into angry lines, yet when she spoke there was more than anger in her tone.
Her Mom was fearful and sad. It actually surprised Liz. Nancy wasn’t one to wear her heart on her sleeve
“Think this through honey…please don’t be so rash.” Nancy pleaded.
Nancy knew well enough how stubborn her daughter was. She also knew that once Liz had made up her mind, the world would turn upside down before she even considered changing it. But all the same, there was no way Nancy was going to stop trying. She didn’t want Liz to go. She was her only daughter and the only family she had here in Roswell.
“I have,” Liz said simply. “and I’m going.”
She moved past her mother to the nearest dresser and pulled out a handful of underwear and lingerie, throwing into her luggage case.
“Don’t worry about me Mom, I’ll be fine.” Liz smiled trying to reassure her mother, but she knew her smile didn’t meet her eyes.
There was no way she was going to stay here though. There was no way that she could do this anymore. Maybe she was being selfish, stubborn and irrational- all the adjectives that her Mother had called her in frustration, earlier. But Liz had to get away before her world became even more tattered and torn than it was now.
And only Liz knew how torn it was right now.
How naïve Liz had been. She hadn’t realized that love was like a physical ache that took over your body, being and self all at once. It had grasped her so tight that she couldn’t think about anything but him anymore. It had gotten so bad, that she had started to imagine herself in Serena’s place.
She had started to imagine what it would feel like to have Max Evans run his hands through her hair in that slow, sensuous way he did with Serena, or have him kiss her on the neck, and play passionate with her lips. She had begun to imagine waking up with his fabulous arms around her naked and spent body.
Sure, Max had stayed over and often even slept in the same bed as her, but Liz had never felt anything as half as intense as what she felt when she was around him nowadays. She was actually scared that she might lose control one day – and do something she might regret. In fact she was sure she was going to do something regrettable soon. There was no rational thinking around Max Evans anymore.
So that’s why Liz had to go. To protect herself from the hurt. To stop herself causing anymore pain to herself and others.
Hell, it wasn’t like she didn’t have enough to regret already.
Nancy slumped onto the bed with a sigh. “That boy… I knew he would hurt you. I could see it coming a mile off…why didn’t I do more to stop it… why?”
Liz straightened, startled. “It’s nothing to do with Max…Its all me.”
She didn’t want her mother holding grudges against Max when he was totally clueless. It wasn’t his fault. It was her. She was crazy…stupid… enamoured…
…. and crazily in love with him.
“Lizzie, baby….please tell me what happened! Why are you going like this… what did he do?” Her mom continued desperately, refusing to let it go, “are you pregnant?...did he get you pregnant?...you have to tell me, even if you want to keep it…we’ll work something out.”
“Mom!” Liz cried in disbelief. What did she have to do for her mother to believe that she hadn’t had sex with Max!
“Really Liz, when was your last period?”
“Oh god… just stop it, mom!”
Did her mother ever listen to anything she said about Max?
Rolling her eyes she turned away and back into her wardrobe. The clock struck seven and that reminded her that Max hadn’t even called….it wasn’t like she was going to answer, but that was beside that point. After all it was prom night. Max and Liz always went together to prom every year. Even when they had dates.
Her eyes began to water. She wished her Mom would get out of here before she collapsed in hysterics. She needed to be alone, but from the looks of it, her mom wasn’t going anywhere too soon.
She hated the way he made her feel. She hated Max Evans!
“Liz, what about your finals-“ her mom began again, but was cut off by the door bell. “I’ll get that –“ Nancy stood up reluctantly, eyeing Liz the whole way to the door, like her daughter might make a run for it, out of the window or something. In fact, that was exactly what Liz felt like doing and she was so glad when her mom walked out and let her have some peace, space and damned quiet.
Liz was just zipping up her bag, when she heard him. It was Max and he was rioting with her mother to let him in. Nancy of course was reluctant, she didn’t like to let him in on the days when Liz hadn’t decide to leave home.
Liz quickly shoved her luggage bag under her bed and hoped her mom would be successful in getting him to leave. She didn’t want to see him right now. However, five minutes later she could still hear voices downstairs.
Curiously Liz took a step outside and into the hallway. She could make out Max’s dark hair outside the front door as he continued his verbal struggle with Nancy. He was wearing a black suit. Her Mom was holding tightly onto the front door with one arm, blocking his entrance.
“Look, Nancy, you have to let me see her.”
“I told you Max, she’s busy…now go along to the prom and I’ll see you —“ Nancy made an attempt to close the door, but Max placed his hand on it shoving it back open.
“Nancy, where is she? Is she okay…she’s not answering any of my calls…”
Max looked up and his eyes connected with Liz’s before she could move back into the shadows.
“Liz!” he groaned a sigh of relief, dodging past a caught off guard Nancy and into the house. He climbed up the staircase two at a time and made his way into her room.
Liz sighed tiredly and followed, closing the door behind her, she turned to face him. He looked magnificent, much older and polished up in his prom suit. Grunge, polished, or in tatters, Max always looked fantastic to Liz.
“What do you want Max?”
“Why aren’t you answering my calls… are you okay?” He took quick steps toward her and Liz took an instant step back, away from him, trying to retain the distance she had managed over the last few days.
“I’m fine.”
This did nothing to qualm Max’s curious expression. Instead he looked even more confused. Liz decided she didn’t want too many questions from him, so she resorted to the oldest trick in the book. “I have a really bad case of period pains and I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
“For that last five days?”
“Yes.”
She supposed that would keep him quiet, yet his worried expression had heightened. “Do you want me to take you to the doctor?”
Liz rolled her eyes, and played with the threads on her curtains. “Aren’t you going to the prom?”
“Only if you are.”
“What?” Liz couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing.
“I’m not going if you’re ill.” Max confirmed, making himself comfortable on her bed, as he undid his jacket and threw it behind him.
“Isn’t Serena waiting for you or something?”
“I’m sure she’ll understand.” He answered nonchalantly.
Liz was unsure if he was being serious. She turned toward him, exasperated. “Max… you can’t ditch Serena on her first prom ever at Roswell High, albeit it's obviously going to be crap… it’s just against all girl- boy rules.”
Max shrugged, “I hate the prom anyway.”
Liz bit her lip in utter vexation. She hated it when he put her in a difficult situation like this. Why couldn’t he just get that she didn’t want damn well go?!
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Please don’t.” Liz moaned, trying to stop her voice shaking from emotion. “Look, I want you to go …and you don’t need me around. I mean, I don’t feel like going…so please just go have fun okay?”
Liz closed her eyes tight. Please. Just go and leave me to my miserable and lonely existence.
Max grasped her hand before she walked away. “Fun for me is hanging out with you, Liz. That’s what makes me happy. Not going to the shitty prom.”
Liz stared at him. Was he SERIOUSLY thinking of ditching Serena and the prom, for Liz in an ugly tracksuit and greasy, unwashed hair?
She watched helplessly as Max stood up and unbuttoned the top collar of his shirt. He stretched a little and Liz almost melted at the way the muscles of his taught stomach hit the white material.
“Okay I’ll tell you what? I’ll give Serena a call and get Tommy to pick her up, then I’ll go get some ice-cream and rent a couple of movies and we’ll just chill. I kinda miss sleeping here anyway.”
Liz opened her mouth and closed it again, unsure of what to say.
This was all so…wrong.
It was wrong of Max to sleep here when he had a steady girlfriend of his own. It was wrong for Max to ditch Serena, when she was ready and waiting for him, just because Liz was having a tantrum. It was wrong for Liz to feel so utterly turned on as her best friend stood in her bedroom wearing black pants and an unbuttoned white shirt, whilst he casually talked to her in his “friendly” manner….
…It was wrong for him walk in here and claim Liz’s life and room like it was his own. It was wrong for her to accept that behaviour from him without question.
“I…” Liz began as Max looked down at her expectantly. It was so tempting to forget about the world, to just snuggle in his arms and take in his scent as they watched some crappy rented movie and talked about what they had missed over the last few days.
She was so close to losing it all, that claiming it back seemed like the biggest treat in the world. It would be so easy to cause animosity between Serena and Max by asking him to stay, whilst Serena waited for him in that beautiful white dress she had purchased in the mall two weeks ago. It would be so easy today, to simply spill her feelings, just because she was going to lose it all anyway. It was probably her last chance to change her own destiny…but at what cost?
Liz smiled bitter sweetly at his questioning expression, “Let me find a dress.”
****
Max sat in the front yard, in reminiscent thought. He hadn’t had time to actually sit and ‘think’ in a long time. He wasn’t entirely sure if that was a good or bad thing. But here he was, after driving Miriam to Lucy’s place because apparently his daughter had some ‘urgent matters’ to discuss with her best friend, and now he was alone. It was eerily quiet for evening time, and he wished there were more noise. As well as many other qualities, his daughters laughter bought with it distraction and he was already missing that.
Max was still in shock over Liz Parker. He had found her! And after finding her he was sitting alone in his front yard, with yet again no contact details. He remembered the meeting earlier that day only vaguely. He wasn’t sure what had happened, but he knew there had been a lot of distance.
Who would have thought Max Evans and Liz Parker would ever be so distant? Liz had always been a part of him as far back as he could recall. Liz was a part of his earliest memories, and then, there was this blank place in his life. The last ten years…all that time without her.
Serena had tried to fill the hole for a while, but even she had left him after eighteen months together.
Pancreatic cancer.
By that Miriam was born it had spread too far to be stopped by chemotherapy. Survival rates were low as it was. She had known she was dying, and hadn’t even been bothered by it.
Max stood outside darkened room, lit by nothing but a small table lamp that threw a darkened, orange tinted shadow on his wife and six week old baby girl.
He watched from the doorway, as Serena sat in the rocking chair, covered in a heavy blanket, singing a lullaby to their sleeping daughter. Serena was weakened and on the brink, yet he had never seen as much vitality in her as he saw in her now, as she touched her child’s face, lips, and hands with a fervency that could only come from someone desperate to know their child before she was dragged away from her forever.
Max blinked away the forming tears, and coughed to acknowledge Serena of his presence.
She turned toward him, thin and frail, only a caricature of before. “Hey, baby, come here.”
Max walked toward her and kneeled down next to the rocking chair, he grasped her small fingers in his. “How are you?”
She looked so feeble and fragile and he hated that he couldn’t do anything to help her.
She smiled at him knowingly, “Not long left now...”
“Serena.” Max warned. He hated it when she started like this.
She placed a finger on his lips. “You’ll be fine.”
Max shook his head. Unable to stop his eyes filling up, he turned away, but the wetness seemed to run down his face anyway. “Please… don’t go. I can’t… don’t leave me Serena…please.”
His voice was helpless, desperate and burdened with a small plea of hope. Almost as if she had wanted to enough, she could make herself stay. He had only known her for two and half years. There was a whole life time left yet. Why was this happening? Why?!
Apart from the birth of his daughter the last year had been complete and utter chaos for Max. First Liz, now Serena. Half the time he couldn’t even tell if he was coming or going. Why was god punishing him like this? What had he done?
Like she was reading his mind, Serena said wistfully. “Everything happens for a reason Max.” She looked toward her sleeping daughter with admiration. “I think our reason is here, in my arms.”
Max shook his head in denial. That was all he seemed to be able to nowadays “No-“
Serena continued, “I know it will be hard at first, but it will be okay, I promise you.” she leaned in and dropped a small kiss on his forehead and despite himself, Max felt a little soothed.
“…can you open that for me?” Serena pointed toward the nearest drawer. Max leaned over and Serena nodded when Max’s hand touched the soft leather of a journal.
“I wrote some things that I want Miriam to know. Will you give it to her for me?”
Max shook his head, no and grasped Serena’s fingers even more tightly. “I won’t. I won’t need to…because you’ll be here. You’re not going anywhere.”
Serena looked at him sadly and held him, as he buried himself in her lap and cried.
Max clenched his jaw tightly. It had been ten years now. He still missed her kindness, her wisdom and her words… but now, the sadness was replaced by a kind of peace. She had left a huge part of her wisdom in his life, and even if she only been with him for a short while he would always remember her.
Whilst Serena had been dragged away from him, Liz had just decided to walk out. Max had always wondered how Liz could do that to him and he still held a little resentment toward her for doing it. When Liz had gone it had been like a death, but without any firm resolution.
Was she gone forever like Serena? Was she coming back?... Did she even care? The wondering had just killed him.
Liz was the only one that knew him like no other. Liz had been the only one that he would have grabbed the moon for, if he could. She was the only one he thought about every single day without fail. She was the only one he loved so much but resented so much at the same time.
So why had she done this to him?
*****
Liz watched from above her punch cup. Serena was by far the most beautiful and elegant girl at the prom. When she had appeared on her front door step wearing an elegant pure white dress to match swaths of flawless skin and lights curls that dropped on to her dainty shoulders, Max wasn’t the only one that had gasped out loud. Liz thought she looked like an angel that had descended from the heavens. At that moment she nearly didn’t blame Max for falling for Serena.
Things had changed a little since then. Now, as she watched them dance, pure jealousy burned through her skin. They were close, bodies melded together in rhythm; they glanced into each others eyes, whispered sweet nothings and laughed. Liz watched as Max slowly ran his hand down Serena’s back and then up again. There was no guessing as to what they’d be doing tonight.
And to think… she could have missed all this to have him sleep by her side and hold her all night. Though the big question was, would he really have missed all this for her?
Perhaps he had just been lying. Perhaps he really wouldn’t have stayed behind with her with a tub of ice cream and a movie. It had all been a ploy to get her to the prom and make himself feel less guilty.
Liz could feel tears stinging her eyes again. She looked around helplessly.
“Liz, come dance with me.”
Liz came face to face with her blonde haired lab partner, Brett.
“Oh…” she wiped at her eyes. It was better than watching them. “Oh –ok-“
“Sorry, buddy I’ve got dibs for the next dance…”
Liz stared helplessly at Brett’s falling face as Max dragged her into his arms.
“Hey.” She said a little annoyed. “Why’d you that for?”
“I haven’t danced with you all evening, Parker.” Max smiled down at her in that charming way of his and Liz could already feel herself drowning into his golden eyes. “You weren’t gunna brush me off for that dweeb were you?”
“What is your problem with Brett?” Liz sighed. Max had, had a problem with Brett ever since he had become her lab partner and was constantly treating him off handedly. Liz always had a thousand questions to answer to, whenever she had a class with Brett. Max almost acted…jealous.
“…and anyway where’s Serena?” Liz wondered out loud.
“To the first question - no problem. He just shouldn’t get in my way when I want to dance with you and to the second question, she’s dancing with Aaron.”
Liz’s eyes travelled to Serena and Aaron across the crowd, when she turned back, Max was looking at her a little strangely.
Liz felt herself blush. She often caught him giving her an unnameable look when she wasn’t looking. This time, she widened her eyes at him brazenly. “What is it Max?”
Max shook himself off. “Uh, I kind of wanted to ask you something.”
Liz’s heartbeat fastened a notch, “What?”
“I was… well, is everything okay, Liz? You’ve been acting really distant and… well, if there’s a problem just, you know… I’m here.” He looked down at her and then blushed wildly.
Liz smiled, “that’s sweet.”
Max was still looking at her eyebrows raised, “So…”
“Oh, there’s no problem.” Liz felt something catch in her throat and she coughed slightly to let it out.
“Good.” Max said unsurely.
His fingers slowly traced her cheek, and Liz instantly closed her eyes at his touch, trying to stop herself from moaning out loud. It sent shivers down her spine. It was like he was teasing her!
“’cuz, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Her eyes flew open. Where did that come from? “…why do you say that?” she asked cautiously.
Max seemed unhindered by her surprise as he slowly kissed her forehead. “I dunno… you’ve been not around…and I was thinking how much I miss you…”
Liz bit her lip, wondering if her guilt was written all over her features, but she had to do this. She hoped that one day he would understand and if he didn’t…atleast he’d be happy.
Max’s eyes were wide. He was still waiting for an answer or some kind of confirmation from her.
Liz placed her fingers on his lips. “Listen to the song.”
Liz closed her eyes and cushioned herself against his chest as they danced together in a rhythm that was unique to only them. Max’s hands lay solid and unmoving on her hips, whilst Liz wished she could stay in that place that made her feel so warm and protected forever. That was right here in his arms.
I've been loving you too long to stop now
There were time and you want to be free
My love is growing stronger, as you become a habit to me
Oh I've been loving you a little too long
I don’t wanna stop now, oh
With you my life,
Has been so wonderful
I can't stop now
There were times and your love is growing cold
My love is growing stronger as our affair grows old
I've been loving you a little too long, long,
I don't want to stop now
oh, oh, oh
I've been loving you a little bit too long
I don't wanna stop now
No, no, no
Don't make me stop now
No baby
I'm down on my knees Please, don't make me stop now
I love you, I love you,
I love you with all of my heart
And I can't stop now
Don't make me stop now
Please, please don't make me stop now
Good god almighty I love you
I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
I love you in so many different ways...
I love you in so many different ways....
She was going to miss him too.
I know I've got all the prom and final dates mixed up, but forgive me! I'm british! (my excuse for everything btw...
Time Changes Everything
Chapter 11
Liz frantically shoved as many clothes as she could get into her mid-sized luggage case. She didn’t care that her Mom was standing above her disapprovingly, arms crossed and glaring. Nancy’s eyes were slit into angry lines, yet when she spoke there was more than anger in her tone.
Her Mom was fearful and sad. It actually surprised Liz. Nancy wasn’t one to wear her heart on her sleeve
“Think this through honey…please don’t be so rash.” Nancy pleaded.
Nancy knew well enough how stubborn her daughter was. She also knew that once Liz had made up her mind, the world would turn upside down before she even considered changing it. But all the same, there was no way Nancy was going to stop trying. She didn’t want Liz to go. She was her only daughter and the only family she had here in Roswell.
“I have,” Liz said simply. “and I’m going.”
She moved past her mother to the nearest dresser and pulled out a handful of underwear and lingerie, throwing into her luggage case.
“Don’t worry about me Mom, I’ll be fine.” Liz smiled trying to reassure her mother, but she knew her smile didn’t meet her eyes.
There was no way she was going to stay here though. There was no way that she could do this anymore. Maybe she was being selfish, stubborn and irrational- all the adjectives that her Mother had called her in frustration, earlier. But Liz had to get away before her world became even more tattered and torn than it was now.
And only Liz knew how torn it was right now.
How naïve Liz had been. She hadn’t realized that love was like a physical ache that took over your body, being and self all at once. It had grasped her so tight that she couldn’t think about anything but him anymore. It had gotten so bad, that she had started to imagine herself in Serena’s place.
She had started to imagine what it would feel like to have Max Evans run his hands through her hair in that slow, sensuous way he did with Serena, or have him kiss her on the neck, and play passionate with her lips. She had begun to imagine waking up with his fabulous arms around her naked and spent body.
Sure, Max had stayed over and often even slept in the same bed as her, but Liz had never felt anything as half as intense as what she felt when she was around him nowadays. She was actually scared that she might lose control one day – and do something she might regret. In fact she was sure she was going to do something regrettable soon. There was no rational thinking around Max Evans anymore.
So that’s why Liz had to go. To protect herself from the hurt. To stop herself causing anymore pain to herself and others.
Hell, it wasn’t like she didn’t have enough to regret already.
Nancy slumped onto the bed with a sigh. “That boy… I knew he would hurt you. I could see it coming a mile off…why didn’t I do more to stop it… why?”
Liz straightened, startled. “It’s nothing to do with Max…Its all me.”
She didn’t want her mother holding grudges against Max when he was totally clueless. It wasn’t his fault. It was her. She was crazy…stupid… enamoured…
…. and crazily in love with him.
“Lizzie, baby….please tell me what happened! Why are you going like this… what did he do?” Her mom continued desperately, refusing to let it go, “are you pregnant?...did he get you pregnant?...you have to tell me, even if you want to keep it…we’ll work something out.”
“Mom!” Liz cried in disbelief. What did she have to do for her mother to believe that she hadn’t had sex with Max!
“Really Liz, when was your last period?”
“Oh god… just stop it, mom!”
Did her mother ever listen to anything she said about Max?
Rolling her eyes she turned away and back into her wardrobe. The clock struck seven and that reminded her that Max hadn’t even called….it wasn’t like she was going to answer, but that was beside that point. After all it was prom night. Max and Liz always went together to prom every year. Even when they had dates.
Her eyes began to water. She wished her Mom would get out of here before she collapsed in hysterics. She needed to be alone, but from the looks of it, her mom wasn’t going anywhere too soon.
She hated the way he made her feel. She hated Max Evans!
“Liz, what about your finals-“ her mom began again, but was cut off by the door bell. “I’ll get that –“ Nancy stood up reluctantly, eyeing Liz the whole way to the door, like her daughter might make a run for it, out of the window or something. In fact, that was exactly what Liz felt like doing and she was so glad when her mom walked out and let her have some peace, space and damned quiet.
Liz was just zipping up her bag, when she heard him. It was Max and he was rioting with her mother to let him in. Nancy of course was reluctant, she didn’t like to let him in on the days when Liz hadn’t decide to leave home.
Liz quickly shoved her luggage bag under her bed and hoped her mom would be successful in getting him to leave. She didn’t want to see him right now. However, five minutes later she could still hear voices downstairs.
Curiously Liz took a step outside and into the hallway. She could make out Max’s dark hair outside the front door as he continued his verbal struggle with Nancy. He was wearing a black suit. Her Mom was holding tightly onto the front door with one arm, blocking his entrance.
“Look, Nancy, you have to let me see her.”
“I told you Max, she’s busy…now go along to the prom and I’ll see you —“ Nancy made an attempt to close the door, but Max placed his hand on it shoving it back open.
“Nancy, where is she? Is she okay…she’s not answering any of my calls…”
Max looked up and his eyes connected with Liz’s before she could move back into the shadows.
“Liz!” he groaned a sigh of relief, dodging past a caught off guard Nancy and into the house. He climbed up the staircase two at a time and made his way into her room.
Liz sighed tiredly and followed, closing the door behind her, she turned to face him. He looked magnificent, much older and polished up in his prom suit. Grunge, polished, or in tatters, Max always looked fantastic to Liz.
“What do you want Max?”
“Why aren’t you answering my calls… are you okay?” He took quick steps toward her and Liz took an instant step back, away from him, trying to retain the distance she had managed over the last few days.
“I’m fine.”
This did nothing to qualm Max’s curious expression. Instead he looked even more confused. Liz decided she didn’t want too many questions from him, so she resorted to the oldest trick in the book. “I have a really bad case of period pains and I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
“For that last five days?”
“Yes.”
She supposed that would keep him quiet, yet his worried expression had heightened. “Do you want me to take you to the doctor?”
Liz rolled her eyes, and played with the threads on her curtains. “Aren’t you going to the prom?”
“Only if you are.”
“What?” Liz couldn’t quite believe what she was hearing.
“I’m not going if you’re ill.” Max confirmed, making himself comfortable on her bed, as he undid his jacket and threw it behind him.
“Isn’t Serena waiting for you or something?”
“I’m sure she’ll understand.” He answered nonchalantly.
Liz was unsure if he was being serious. She turned toward him, exasperated. “Max… you can’t ditch Serena on her first prom ever at Roswell High, albeit it's obviously going to be crap… it’s just against all girl- boy rules.”
Max shrugged, “I hate the prom anyway.”
Liz bit her lip in utter vexation. She hated it when he put her in a difficult situation like this. Why couldn’t he just get that she didn’t want damn well go?!
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Please don’t.” Liz moaned, trying to stop her voice shaking from emotion. “Look, I want you to go …and you don’t need me around. I mean, I don’t feel like going…so please just go have fun okay?”
Liz closed her eyes tight. Please. Just go and leave me to my miserable and lonely existence.
Max grasped her hand before she walked away. “Fun for me is hanging out with you, Liz. That’s what makes me happy. Not going to the shitty prom.”
Liz stared at him. Was he SERIOUSLY thinking of ditching Serena and the prom, for Liz in an ugly tracksuit and greasy, unwashed hair?
She watched helplessly as Max stood up and unbuttoned the top collar of his shirt. He stretched a little and Liz almost melted at the way the muscles of his taught stomach hit the white material.
“Okay I’ll tell you what? I’ll give Serena a call and get Tommy to pick her up, then I’ll go get some ice-cream and rent a couple of movies and we’ll just chill. I kinda miss sleeping here anyway.”
Liz opened her mouth and closed it again, unsure of what to say.
This was all so…wrong.
It was wrong of Max to sleep here when he had a steady girlfriend of his own. It was wrong for Max to ditch Serena, when she was ready and waiting for him, just because Liz was having a tantrum. It was wrong for Liz to feel so utterly turned on as her best friend stood in her bedroom wearing black pants and an unbuttoned white shirt, whilst he casually talked to her in his “friendly” manner….
…It was wrong for him walk in here and claim Liz’s life and room like it was his own. It was wrong for her to accept that behaviour from him without question.
“I…” Liz began as Max looked down at her expectantly. It was so tempting to forget about the world, to just snuggle in his arms and take in his scent as they watched some crappy rented movie and talked about what they had missed over the last few days.
She was so close to losing it all, that claiming it back seemed like the biggest treat in the world. It would be so easy to cause animosity between Serena and Max by asking him to stay, whilst Serena waited for him in that beautiful white dress she had purchased in the mall two weeks ago. It would be so easy today, to simply spill her feelings, just because she was going to lose it all anyway. It was probably her last chance to change her own destiny…but at what cost?
Liz smiled bitter sweetly at his questioning expression, “Let me find a dress.”
****
Max sat in the front yard, in reminiscent thought. He hadn’t had time to actually sit and ‘think’ in a long time. He wasn’t entirely sure if that was a good or bad thing. But here he was, after driving Miriam to Lucy’s place because apparently his daughter had some ‘urgent matters’ to discuss with her best friend, and now he was alone. It was eerily quiet for evening time, and he wished there were more noise. As well as many other qualities, his daughters laughter bought with it distraction and he was already missing that.
Max was still in shock over Liz Parker. He had found her! And after finding her he was sitting alone in his front yard, with yet again no contact details. He remembered the meeting earlier that day only vaguely. He wasn’t sure what had happened, but he knew there had been a lot of distance.
Who would have thought Max Evans and Liz Parker would ever be so distant? Liz had always been a part of him as far back as he could recall. Liz was a part of his earliest memories, and then, there was this blank place in his life. The last ten years…all that time without her.
Serena had tried to fill the hole for a while, but even she had left him after eighteen months together.
Pancreatic cancer.
By that Miriam was born it had spread too far to be stopped by chemotherapy. Survival rates were low as it was. She had known she was dying, and hadn’t even been bothered by it.
Max stood outside darkened room, lit by nothing but a small table lamp that threw a darkened, orange tinted shadow on his wife and six week old baby girl.
He watched from the doorway, as Serena sat in the rocking chair, covered in a heavy blanket, singing a lullaby to their sleeping daughter. Serena was weakened and on the brink, yet he had never seen as much vitality in her as he saw in her now, as she touched her child’s face, lips, and hands with a fervency that could only come from someone desperate to know their child before she was dragged away from her forever.
Max blinked away the forming tears, and coughed to acknowledge Serena of his presence.
She turned toward him, thin and frail, only a caricature of before. “Hey, baby, come here.”
Max walked toward her and kneeled down next to the rocking chair, he grasped her small fingers in his. “How are you?”
She looked so feeble and fragile and he hated that he couldn’t do anything to help her.
She smiled at him knowingly, “Not long left now...”
“Serena.” Max warned. He hated it when she started like this.
She placed a finger on his lips. “You’ll be fine.”
Max shook his head. Unable to stop his eyes filling up, he turned away, but the wetness seemed to run down his face anyway. “Please… don’t go. I can’t… don’t leave me Serena…please.”
His voice was helpless, desperate and burdened with a small plea of hope. Almost as if she had wanted to enough, she could make herself stay. He had only known her for two and half years. There was a whole life time left yet. Why was this happening? Why?!
Apart from the birth of his daughter the last year had been complete and utter chaos for Max. First Liz, now Serena. Half the time he couldn’t even tell if he was coming or going. Why was god punishing him like this? What had he done?
Like she was reading his mind, Serena said wistfully. “Everything happens for a reason Max.” She looked toward her sleeping daughter with admiration. “I think our reason is here, in my arms.”
Max shook his head in denial. That was all he seemed to be able to nowadays “No-“
Serena continued, “I know it will be hard at first, but it will be okay, I promise you.” she leaned in and dropped a small kiss on his forehead and despite himself, Max felt a little soothed.
“…can you open that for me?” Serena pointed toward the nearest drawer. Max leaned over and Serena nodded when Max’s hand touched the soft leather of a journal.
“I wrote some things that I want Miriam to know. Will you give it to her for me?”
Max shook his head, no and grasped Serena’s fingers even more tightly. “I won’t. I won’t need to…because you’ll be here. You’re not going anywhere.”
Serena looked at him sadly and held him, as he buried himself in her lap and cried.
Max clenched his jaw tightly. It had been ten years now. He still missed her kindness, her wisdom and her words… but now, the sadness was replaced by a kind of peace. She had left a huge part of her wisdom in his life, and even if she only been with him for a short while he would always remember her.
Whilst Serena had been dragged away from him, Liz had just decided to walk out. Max had always wondered how Liz could do that to him and he still held a little resentment toward her for doing it. When Liz had gone it had been like a death, but without any firm resolution.
Was she gone forever like Serena? Was she coming back?... Did she even care? The wondering had just killed him.
Liz was the only one that knew him like no other. Liz had been the only one that he would have grabbed the moon for, if he could. She was the only one he thought about every single day without fail. She was the only one he loved so much but resented so much at the same time.
So why had she done this to him?
*****
Liz watched from above her punch cup. Serena was by far the most beautiful and elegant girl at the prom. When she had appeared on her front door step wearing an elegant pure white dress to match swaths of flawless skin and lights curls that dropped on to her dainty shoulders, Max wasn’t the only one that had gasped out loud. Liz thought she looked like an angel that had descended from the heavens. At that moment she nearly didn’t blame Max for falling for Serena.
Things had changed a little since then. Now, as she watched them dance, pure jealousy burned through her skin. They were close, bodies melded together in rhythm; they glanced into each others eyes, whispered sweet nothings and laughed. Liz watched as Max slowly ran his hand down Serena’s back and then up again. There was no guessing as to what they’d be doing tonight.
And to think… she could have missed all this to have him sleep by her side and hold her all night. Though the big question was, would he really have missed all this for her?
Perhaps he had just been lying. Perhaps he really wouldn’t have stayed behind with her with a tub of ice cream and a movie. It had all been a ploy to get her to the prom and make himself feel less guilty.
Liz could feel tears stinging her eyes again. She looked around helplessly.
“Liz, come dance with me.”
Liz came face to face with her blonde haired lab partner, Brett.
“Oh…” she wiped at her eyes. It was better than watching them. “Oh –ok-“
“Sorry, buddy I’ve got dibs for the next dance…”
Liz stared helplessly at Brett’s falling face as Max dragged her into his arms.
“Hey.” She said a little annoyed. “Why’d you that for?”
“I haven’t danced with you all evening, Parker.” Max smiled down at her in that charming way of his and Liz could already feel herself drowning into his golden eyes. “You weren’t gunna brush me off for that dweeb were you?”
“What is your problem with Brett?” Liz sighed. Max had, had a problem with Brett ever since he had become her lab partner and was constantly treating him off handedly. Liz always had a thousand questions to answer to, whenever she had a class with Brett. Max almost acted…jealous.
“…and anyway where’s Serena?” Liz wondered out loud.
“To the first question - no problem. He just shouldn’t get in my way when I want to dance with you and to the second question, she’s dancing with Aaron.”
Liz’s eyes travelled to Serena and Aaron across the crowd, when she turned back, Max was looking at her a little strangely.
Liz felt herself blush. She often caught him giving her an unnameable look when she wasn’t looking. This time, she widened her eyes at him brazenly. “What is it Max?”
Max shook himself off. “Uh, I kind of wanted to ask you something.”
Liz’s heartbeat fastened a notch, “What?”
“I was… well, is everything okay, Liz? You’ve been acting really distant and… well, if there’s a problem just, you know… I’m here.” He looked down at her and then blushed wildly.
Liz smiled, “that’s sweet.”
Max was still looking at her eyebrows raised, “So…”
“Oh, there’s no problem.” Liz felt something catch in her throat and she coughed slightly to let it out.
“Good.” Max said unsurely.
His fingers slowly traced her cheek, and Liz instantly closed her eyes at his touch, trying to stop herself from moaning out loud. It sent shivers down her spine. It was like he was teasing her!
“’cuz, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Her eyes flew open. Where did that come from? “…why do you say that?” she asked cautiously.
Max seemed unhindered by her surprise as he slowly kissed her forehead. “I dunno… you’ve been not around…and I was thinking how much I miss you…”
Liz bit her lip, wondering if her guilt was written all over her features, but she had to do this. She hoped that one day he would understand and if he didn’t…atleast he’d be happy.
Max’s eyes were wide. He was still waiting for an answer or some kind of confirmation from her.
Liz placed her fingers on his lips. “Listen to the song.”
Liz closed her eyes and cushioned herself against his chest as they danced together in a rhythm that was unique to only them. Max’s hands lay solid and unmoving on her hips, whilst Liz wished she could stay in that place that made her feel so warm and protected forever. That was right here in his arms.
I've been loving you too long to stop now
There were time and you want to be free
My love is growing stronger, as you become a habit to me
Oh I've been loving you a little too long
I don’t wanna stop now, oh
With you my life,
Has been so wonderful
I can't stop now
There were times and your love is growing cold
My love is growing stronger as our affair grows old
I've been loving you a little too long, long,
I don't want to stop now
oh, oh, oh
I've been loving you a little bit too long
I don't wanna stop now
No, no, no
Don't make me stop now
No baby
I'm down on my knees Please, don't make me stop now
I love you, I love you,
I love you with all of my heart
And I can't stop now
Don't make me stop now
Please, please don't make me stop now
Good god almighty I love you
I love you, I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
I love you in so many different ways...
I love you in so many different ways....
She was going to miss him too.