Roswell Fanatics

Well, here I am.
Just a casual note of warning. This part's going to delve into Liz's past. The reasons why her marriage failed will feature. Zan will make an entrance. Liz is not perfect; she's her faults. Zan's hardly perfect, Max falls in this category too. They'll all be here.
And Alex. Think Toy House. His reasons are the same, even more so, since he doesn't himself know what he is.

Now that I've pretty much revealed everything in the part, I'll go.


Chapter 10

I lay on my lawn chair, clutching my journal to my chest. How many times had I envisioned writing that exact moment? I lost track. How many times have I imagined that one moment, that perfect moment, when Max would kiss me?

And now that it’s actually happened, I have no words to describe it with. It was that pathetic. A non-kiss. I’d shared more with Kyle, for God’s sake!

My mind went back to my blackout. Maybe, it had been a long kiss. Maybe the blackout had made me loose my head. But no, Maria had told me how appalled she’d been at the brevity of it all.

“You’d think he’d have enough balls to kiss you properly! Jeez, what a wuss! No wonder you went for Zan!”

I, for one, agreed with her. It’s true. It was just that sort of intentional holding back that he’d done all the time before, that had made my blood pound sand.

I flipped over a few entries. Gah, how childish! But even now, I could just close my eyes and reincarnate the perfect kiss.

Him: Come here, Liz.
Me: Why? I don’t want to frighten you. (As if!)
Him: You don’t frighten me. My feelings for you do. There are times… (He trails off as if he was unburdening his soul.)
Me: (supportive and compassionate, as always) Tell me. I’ve got all the time in the world.
Him: All the time in the world for what?

Huh? But that’s not in the script!

Me : No, no. You’re supposed to say “thank you,”

Him: Thank you. (very obligingly. And then he does it again.) For what?
Me : For just being me, silly.
Him : ( he smiles, just the way he’s supposed.) You’re right, I do thank you for that.
Me: (that’s better!!) You’re entirely welcome. So, what do you say…(I let it hang on temptingly)
Him: What do I say to what?
Me: Haha! Max, you’re such a …
Him: (amused. Why, me wonders? He’s supposed to be serious here) I’m such a what?
Me: tease.
Him: (REALLY amused) Yeah?

No, no this is all wrong! He isn’t supposed to take it as a joke!

I blinked my eyes.

“Yarrgh!!”

He was really there, grinning at me.

“What the…”

“Now, what was I again?”

“Fiction. I’m writing a novel.” I bleated, feeling like Jerry being chased hither thither by Tom.

“Really?" He didn’t buy it. “Since when?”

“Since today.” I crunched back. “And it’s not exactly a novel. More like a guide. You know, self-help and all that?”

He sat down on the ledge. “Yeah? What are you such an expert on?”

I looked him dead in the eye. “Something you seem to be lacking considerably in. Kissing.”

He had the grace to blush. “Oh, er, well….”

“Yeah, that and a hundred other exclamations…” I sighed. "What the hell were you so scared of? People talking?”

He seemed flustered. “People will talk, you know.”

“About me! And I can handle it!”

“Yeah, well. Instincts, you know. Hard to suppress.”

“What’re you, scared of girls??” I snorted.

“No, dumbass. Scared for your rep.”

“Would you give it a break! I’m not your child, Max!”

“I know.” He sounded resigned.

I felt hugely cheated. I loved this guy. And I knew that he, in his own emotionally retarded way, cared for me too. So why this nonsense? It wasn’t like we’d never flirted before! So, we just went a little further this time! What the fuck’s the big deal?

“Max,” I told him, rigidly emphasizing my words. “If you didn’t want to kiss me, all you had to do was walk away. It’s not fair that after doing it, you’re putting it on thick. It’s not fair at all.”

“I know. And who said I was afraid of kissing you, anyway? What’re you, an amateur shrink?” He threw back, looking about for balance. I had a wild urge to kick him off the balcony.

"Yeah? You know, huh? Then care to explain why you looked like I’d suggested we strip in front of all those people! You’re nothing but a prude!”

“I did not!” he looked appalled at the suggestion. “God, you make it sound like I’m scared of women, for god’s sake!”

“Now you get it!! That’s exactly they way you behaved!”

“Ok, ok, I apologize. Let’s go back there and give them something to remember!” he blurted out, looking like he was at his wit’s end. Who is this stranger? And where is my calm, unflappable Max?

“No need.” I grated out. There was a minute’s silence as we scratched our head simultaneously, trying to find a way out of this mortifying subject.

He came up with one. “So, how is the search for a doctor going?”

I shrugged. “Dunno. I was waiting for you.”

He raised his eyebrows.

I sighed irritably. “For the names!”

He does the weird thing with his eyes again; hand rubbing his stubble, and my heart does the funny Highland fling thing. “Sure, Liz.”

“Well?” I demanded querulously. "Did you have anything else in mind? Come now, don’t be shy!!” He tried to hide his grin. “I won’t kill you for speaking your mind.” God, I’d started babbling. All Maria’s fault. Her and her stupid cedar oil and her stupid, stupid ideas!

He closed the distance between us;. Suddenly, my roomy balcony had shrunk to the size of a shoebox. We were alone, deserted and he was awfully close. Maybe the day wouldn’t be a total waste after all.

I gulped as he continued watching me. “Well??”

“So about your book…” he smiled knowingly at the telltale blush.

“What about it?”

“Nothing. Just that if you need someone to experiment upon…” he left it off hanging.

Oh no, you don’t!! “You’re volunteering??” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my tone.

He looked injured. “Liz! Just because I’m no good at it doesn’t mean I can’t learn! Where does it say that, huh? And you need to work with someone um…willing.”

I choked. Willing. Is he serious???

“No need to put yourself out. I’m sure there’re plenty of other willing men around. Men who aren’t scared of non-kisses.”

He slung an arm around me. I reveled in his scent. I’d visions of a very delectable, very willing Max in my arms. Yum!

“Not at all, not at all. I’m sure it would prove quite interesting. As you know, it’s summer vacation, even for me, and I was looking forward to…uh…taking chances. Discovering...” he grinned at my scarlet face, “unknown territory.”

I gulped. Golly. Unknown territory. What the fuck was he doing, reading my mind?

“Are you up for that?” I made sure I convey the right amount anxiety I felt over this new venture. Flirting a little bit, softening me up and then leaving me in the lurch is not something I’m going to tolerate anymore, sonny boy! And you better know it.

“I trust you. I know I’m in good hands.” He returned rather solemnly.

I think we both reached a new level in our quasi-relationship. I could tell how much it cost Max to finally start tearing down the walls. And he could tell that this moment wasn’t easy for me either. What he didn’t know was that I’d waited for it for almost forever. Hah!

“Deal.” I shook his proffered hand. There was a feral look in his eyes that made me doubt the sanity of this plan but what the hell, it was Max. Somehow, it’d be all right.

He hauled me up to my feet. “Where’s the boy?”

I smiled. Max just never changed. “Watching cartoons.”

He returned it nostalgically. “He’s a wonderful kid.”

Tears stung at his proud tone. ‘He owes much of it to you. You’ve been terrific with him.”

There was a bittersweet taste in his words. “I should be. He deserves it. And more. And so much more…” he trailed off. What was he talking about? I hope to God he doesn’t bring up Zan now.

“Huh?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. Alex is a wonderful child. He reminds of Whitman every day.”

I fought back the lump in my throat. Funny, dry-witted Alex with his dodge-ball soirées and undying loyalty.

“Give me a hug.” I whispered, holding my arms open.

He didn’t hesitate. He cradled my head against his chest and brushed his fingers through my hair. I fought back another lump. I knew, for certain, why I’d come back here.
~~/\~~



Max and I’d overcome the first hurdle one night when he’d called NY. It was the second year of my marriage and the call had come through just as we’d finally dozed off. Zan, being typically him, had turned over and gone back to snoring his head off. Cursing, I’d answered the phone. Only to hear his stammered apologies and a host of other emotions.

As if he could feel the change in me, Zan had woken up and taken the phone. Of course, Max hadn’t called for me. He’d had some business with Zan and neither of them had ever told me why my husband had tersely hung up and left in the middle of the night. That had been the start of his disappearances.

Someone would call. He’d leave. It was the same cycle and no amount of tears, rants and reasoning had loosened his metal-studded tongue. I’d done my damnedest, but he’d been a stone wall. No comments, not even a reaction to my hysterics. After a while, I’d given up, sure that my marriage was over.

But it hadn’t been. While he’d been around, he’d take care of me, in his own way, and I’d push away the memories of endless nights of being worried sick. Until it started all over again.

Max had dropped by suddenly, his first visit ever to NY, he’d later said. Zan had been away, again and I’d just about resigned myself to his vagabond existence when the phone rang, with Max troubled on the other end and wanting to come up. My head had whirled. I took it for granted that it was bad news.

Then the buzzer had screeched and I’d fumbled with the locks in my haste, desperate. And all of a sudden, it was open and he’d taken one look at my ashen face (I was too shocked to primp) and gathered me in his arms. And I’d broken down for good. I’d wailed about how Zan would leave me and just disappear and how much it terrified me that he wasn’t coming back. Between loud sobs, I’d demanded an answer about my husband’s whereabouts, not even cringing at fact that I was supposed to know, not him.

He’d petted and humored me for a while, joking that me, Liz Parker, Queen Extraordinaire of self-control, would break down in a stranger’s arms. And that’s when it had hit me. We were strangers. I didn’t know what his favorite cologne was. I didn’t know if he liked cheese or detested it. I didn’t know why he’d always live his life looking over his shoulder. As far as I was concerned Max Evans and I were utter and complete strangers.

That little epiphany had turned into a quest. That quest finally became my lifeline. Letters, emails, phone calls, all treasured and analyzed for days afterwards, were my links to normalcy. Which was ironic, considering that back in Roswell, we’d been just lab partners and a little more.

After that initial visit, he’d come to NY a little more, almost all the times when Zan wasn’t around. I’d joked about his timing, questioned his motives. But he’d never said a word.

Nope, it was all black and white. I was his cousin’s wife and he was there for same oblique purpose but not one of them was to seduce me. It was only in later years, after I’d started reading him well, that I’d figured out why Max would come around.

He had been worried sick about me. Little things, like his hand trembling from exhaustion as he made coffee in the middle of the night, the haggard circles under his red-rimmed eyes trying to blink back unimaginable stress told me that this was no coincidental visit, but rather, a surveillance.

I hadn’t taken it well. I’d accused both of them of illegal activities and what not, almost everything I could find under the moon, but they hadn’t talked. Not once. It was as if they had some secret agenda, an agenda where I had no part and they made it clear they didn’t like my interference.


And then my problems with Zan grew. I’d wanted to love him the way I’d vowed to. Day after day, I found it slipping away from my grasp, till it was a mere shadow, a wisp of a dream that I might’ve once had. It was impossible to really love Zan, the way I wanted to, with my being and all that I was. It was never destined to be that way at all.

On the other hand, I felt myself connect with Max, in every level we knew how, except maybe, physically. I could tell what he was thinking before he’d realize it. I’d feel what he was feeling with just a look. It terrified me at times. I’d keep awake the whole night, wondering about him, just like still older times. I knew it was getting out of control. I’d been in love with him once and the annoying feeling, like it had never really gone away, returned with a vengeance.

His genuine concern for me didn’t help.

I refused to let myself think that way. For some time, around the fifth year of my marriage to Zan, I stopped seeing Max. If he’d come by, I’d find an excuse and leave. I’d run out on him and Zan and everything else, just to make sure I wouldn’t grab him by the collar and kiss the living daylights out of him. I didn’t want to feel that way; I was married, for Crissakes! But the more I stayed away, the stronger the pull became. I’d lock myself in the bathroom when he’d come and tremble away the need that seemed to roil through me.


It became much worse when it hurt him. I’d see him withdrawing, putting his impenetrable walls higher. Max would stay away, longer each time till, cursing, I’d call him up. And he’d make monosyllabic responses. I’d want to kill him but then he’d end it with in his usual way – a rare collection of haikus (which were my then-faves), research materials on things I’d never even heard about, exotic things from his trips all over the world. And then, once again, he’d shut himself off. And it made me want him all the more. I was like an addict; craving things which was destroying me and all that I held sacred. Or so I thought.


It made me furious that Zan wouldn’t even stop me. Of course he could tell! He’d told me so, too. Once, after another blazing fight, he told me. I’d been ranting at his lack of effort, his silence that broke down any sort of defense I’d build to withstand it, his supreme indifference.

I’d been driven to the edge, one night when he’d been packing again. Taking the little pot of bonsai that I’d cultivated so lovingly (a gift from Max), I’d placed it near his feet. For only a second, he’d paused.

“Step on it!” I’d demanded, a hair’s breadth of losing my mind.

“Why?” he’d asked blandly, crudely. “Isn’t that a gift from Max?”

That had told me all there was to know. Still, I’d persisted. I’d been ready that day, to forget all about Max (or at least try to) if Zan would just voice the tiniest objection.

“Step on it! Smash it up, break it! It’s what you do best!” I’d screamed, almost mad with frustration.

He’d looked at me calmly. He wasn’t going to do it. Of course not. He’d keep himself surrounded by Max’s gifts to me and he’d never edge out one word of recrimination. He’d continue to make me feel like a whore, even though I’d done nothing.

“You see? You’d show more feelings for a stupid plant that to your own wife! You wouldn’t take the time to notice the first change in me but a houseplant took up more time than that! How much more do you thi....”

And before I’d completed it, he’d already smashed his feet down. My poor bonsai lay there, crushed underneath his feet, just the way my will did, at times. He looked up at me; obedient, obliging. It had been obscene. And at that, I’d made up my mind.

I’d gone with him because he’d offered me something no one in Roswell ever had. It had been a life. But after 6 years of living with him, I’d realized that he’d taken the one thing from me that I’d never wanted to give in the first place, never had fully trusted him to do the right thing by it. I‘d made him responsible for my happiness, for my peace of mind. Call me conventional but I’d taken those vows seriously. And that had been my biggest mistake.

The day I’d seen Zan interact with Max, I’d figured that he was ruthless. He was. He held some intangible thing over Max’s head, over all their heads, and then he enjoyed it while he broke them. And he had. Over the years, I’d find out its and bits form either Maria or Max, just little harmless nuances that told me tons.

Isabel’s almost wedding, for one. For some reason, he’d done about everything he could possibly do to ensure that it didn’t happen. He’d played Max against Isabel, Michael agianst Max, Isabel against both Max and Michael and finally, even to the point of supporting the marriage, even though he knew it would never work. He kept doing it till they were all so confused, they dropped it. I found out in the hard way, when I’d gone to an empty church.
I’d later called Zan up and thrashed the dylights out of him verbally, but that was him.


As I’d stumbled on the bed, my legs unable to support me, the fool that I’d been made at his hands; I’d told him.

“We’re through, Zan. I can’t keep doing this to myself anymore.”

I knew he’d let me. He’d turn to me with another blank expression and tell me that it was my wish what I wanted to do. And then he’d let slip Max’s name, making my totally justified comment drown in guilt and shame. That was Zan. I wish I’d known that sooner.
But this time, I'd been serious. I didn’t care about falling; I already had. It was time to cut my losses. I’d sat there, waiting for his acerbic words.

They never came.

For the umpteenth time, I’d underestimated him. Just when I thought I’d gotten it all out, found a stronghold, he’d do it again; lure me back in, almost against my will.

“Don’t even think about leaving.” He’d said.

I’d been speechless.

He’d come a step closer, callously stepping over the mangled plant. His face had been indescribable. For the first time in my marriage, I’d seen him out of control and oddly vulnerable.

“You’re not walking out on me now. Not when I need you.”

I’d been too blown away to deal with the fact that he’d finally admitted to needing me in his worthless existence to realize that once again, I’d done exactly what he’d wanted. No, that realization had come years later. When I’d discovered that he’d lied about needing me, too.

“Zan. You don’t need me. You never did.”

“Don’t presume to know what I am.” He’d used that tone again, one that provoked a killing rage at his intolerable arrogance.

“Why the fucking hell not? I’m your wife or do you conveniently forget that, too?”

He’d bent down over me and for a moment, I’d been scared for my life. For an immeasurable moment, we’d stared each other down, neither wanting to be the one to lose the fight.

I’d been sure I’d wear down. I’d already been at the end of my tether; last thing I could deal with was another battle with Zan. And he’d never been known for fair play.

And then he’d done the oddest thing. He’d taken my face in his rough palms, held it up. For once, he was laid out in front me like a mirror into his past. It was as if he’d been trying to tell me something. Something, I knew, was the key to him. And as the tide invariably comes roaring in, he’d let go.

“Do you see?” There’d been desperation in him that I’d never seen before.

I’d just shaken my head. I didn’t see. I never would. Looking through Zan was like looking through black ice. Every thing frozen solid and opaque.

And he’d done another un-Zan like thing – he’d waited. He’d waited for me to make up my mind, for me to finally open up. But just like he couldn’t, I couldn’t any more. There’d been a time when talking to Zan was like taking a drug – mellowing, explosive and always challenging. Over the years it had turned into silence. A silence that I just didn’t know how to break anymore.

I’d waited for him to ask about Max. He hadn’t. Instead, he’d hugged me close to him. And even then, I couldn’t repress the instinctive need to move away. He’d held me back. For once, he’d been unable to let me go and for the moment, that had been enough.

“Talk to me.” he’d said after a while, making sure that I was still awake. I’d been awake. Sleep had been a long time in coming that night. I’d had no words. But I hadn’t left and he’d stopped packing. He didn’t attempt to make love that night as a consolation prize and I’d never been more grateful for that.

He didn’t leave me for the entire week. For that week, we’d been thrown another life-jacket and for then, it had been exactly what we’d needed. Now, I’m not some sort of vamp who needs a guy to cling to her but the fact that it was Zan, He-Man himself, claiming to need me and staying back from his precious job for a week to keep an eye out on me, had sent me to tailspins. For five days, I’d been a cherished wife and I’d realized how much I loved that feeling. And I’d wanted to keep feeling that way. Only Zan had to go spoil it by leaving without even telling me. He’d vanished for a month. I’d bought him a shroud.

Like every thing else in my life I’d dissect to million pieces, that incident didn’t escape similar torture. I’d remembered and re-examined it again and again for the next four years, reminding myself that despite everything that had gone down between us, Zan had needed me in his life, that he was all alone in the world and that if push came to a shove, Max would pick me over him any day. I’d been tempted to ask myself who I’d chose but I’d already known the answer. I’d choose Max, too.

And that had fed into my paranoia of leaving Zan. He didn’t have anyone on his side, no one, and I couldn’t abandon him. Because, naïve little me had always believed that one line he’d fed me. Of course that one had all come crashing down on me when I’d realized that he had abandoned me.


“Mom?”

I broke out of my reverie. To my horror, I felt the salt on my lips. Damn!

“Alex?” I grouched, voice still bitter.

“Mom, come inside.” Another whiner. Hee. At least Alex wasn’t like either of them in this case. He’d tell me what was on his mind. And he did it often. It made my world brighter.

“You feeling lonely, son?” I poked my head around my sill. He was sitting on the ledge, trying to balance a ping-pong ball on his big toe. I applauded as it stayed on.

“What else did you when you were a kid?’ he asked, bored with his excellent balancing prowess.

“Show-off!” I give a faux scowl and that thrilled him no end.

“Well, we did stuff.” I said vaguely. Hell, it’s not like I still remember them!

“What kinda stuff?”

“What kind of stuff.” I automatically correct him, even though I’d given up a long time ago.

“Whatever!” he huffed. “Mooom!”

“What?” Another huge huff followed. “Okay, here’s the thing.” I stood up, dragged Alex on to my lap. It had been years since I carried him around.

“Mom!” this time, he struggled to get away for real.

“Shush. You’re my baby! If I carry you aroud, I bloody well have a right to!”

“People will see!!' he stated, looking desperately around for any lurking souls. No one. Just me, my kid and the Roswell ngiht.

I watched for aliens. I remembered. I told Alex so. Surprisingly, he settled down quickly after that.

In my mind’s eye, I saw him squatting on my kitchen floor with Max and talking about silver gunk. It just made me that much more assured that we needed to talk.

My old telescope was still there.

Settling down with Alex squirming in my arms, I peeked through the rusty lenses and took in the familiar heavens. It was amazing – I’d seen stars every single night away from roswell and yet, here it felt like a calling.

“That’s the Big Bear.” I told him, pointing at Orion.

“Mom,” He made an impatient gesture. "That’s Orion.”

I pinched his fat cheek. “I know. I was just testing you.”

He chortled. “No you weren’t!”

“Enough! That one!”

I pointed at another one, the very mysterious V formation that had always been there. Which was abnormal because no science book in the world had ever given it a proper name, I sometimes wondered if it was something I’d dreamt up, a figment of the cosmos that got stuck in my imagination.

“Antar.” He said it without hesitation

“Yeah and that one’s Aurora!’"I laughed, pointing at a cactus.

He looked at me, annoyed. “Mom!”

“Hun, it doesn’t have a name.” I explained patiently

“Says who?” he sulked.

“Says your mother.”

Silence reigned. I wasn’t used to being defied by him. He wasn’t used to me pulling rank.

Ok, how to broach the subject? “Alex…did I ever tell you who I named you after?”

He was still pouting. “Alex Charlie Whitman. I remember.”

“Charles. No one called him Charlie. He was just Alex. Dear, sweet, goofy Alex.” Again, I felt the tears surge. It was frustrating to be unable to think without getting the past muddled up in it every single second.

Alex cuddled my stomach. “Mom, do I look like him?”

At that, I had to laugh. “No, baby. You can’t look like him. You can only look like your Mom and Dad.”

His eyes widened. “Why not like Uncle Alex?”

Because he didn’t get me pregnant! "Um, biology. You’ll understand when you grow up.”

“You can tell me, Mom.” And he looked like he really meant it. Eyes solemn, hair mussed up, another hand resting trustingly in mine. It was hard to believe that I had a son while I sat on my old balcony.

“I know. Alex...” I started again. I wished I’d asked Max about what to say.

He beat me to it. “Mom, where’s Dad?”

Every single parent’s worst nightmare.

“He’s gone.”

“Is he…is he dead?” There was a soft quaver in his voice.

I wish I knew. “I don’t know.”

“You mean, we’ll never see him again?”

I rumpled his hair, wondering why every parent had to go through this torture. And why can’t I make Zan sound like the bastard he is?

“I don’t think so, no.”

“Did he love me?” A definite quaver.

A white lie would suffice. Zan was never coming back so there was no chance of him ever knowing.

“He loved you.”

“Don’t worry, Mom. I love you the most.”

Sigh, the joys of having a child. A few words and I melt like butter. Gotta be careful in his teens. “ I love you more than anything else in the world. You know that, right?’

He snuggled back. “I know.”

“And we’re best friends right, since Dante and Reaz are not here?”

He nodded, depressed again. “Yeah.”

“And, I don’t have any best friends either. So we’re stuck. With each other.” I nodded for further clarification.

“Mom…” he rolled his eyes. “You’ve got Auntie ‘Ria, Uncle Michael, Max, uncle Kyle….”

I geddit! “Right now.” I emphasized. Jeez!

"Ok. So whatcha wanna talk about?”

“Dreams.” I supplied. He looked a little scared so, I changed tracks.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

He sighed. It seemed too harsh that a little kid like him would have to exhale so sharply. A sudden ache cut under my ribs. What’s happening?

“A doctor.”

Ah, science was in his genes! I preened. “Really? Not a scientist…” And then it hit me. he wanted to be like Max. Goddammit!

“Remember how much my stomach hurt when I was little?” He was still little but I didn’t have the heart to tell him that. He looked adorable. I just held him closer.

“Well, I want to make sure no one else has that same ache. What about you?” He cocked his ears in my direction and I pulled at it.

“well, I also wanted to be a scientist. Molecular biologist.” I sighed wistfully.

Alex sounded thrilled. “Mom, you wanted to be guacamole??”

I laughed at his delighted screech. “Yeah, something like that.”

“Mom, mom.” He tugged at my shirt. “You’re delicious anyway.”

“My knight in shining armor.” I teased.

It was as if I’d hit him. He went blank and his little body stiffened in shock, making him a dead weight in my lap. I squirmed.

“Alex!” At my shout, he blinked and relaxed. I’d never been more worried. How did I let it get this bad?

“Sorry.” He looked totally disoriented.

“K, this is the deal. You tell me everything. I want to know. Now.”

He looked terrified. My heart broke. “Alex, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. Whatever you keep seeing, if you tell me, it’s going to be all right. Just tell me.”

“Mom, I can’t!”

“Yes, you can. I’m your mother. I love you.” By that time, I was almost frothing at the mouth.

“I forgot.”

I reacted without thinking. Shaking him by the shoulders, I snarled. “Don’t lie to me!”

He was looking lost. There was no way he was going to tell me anything.

“Go inside. Brush your teeth. It’s time to go to sleep.”

“Momma, I’m sorry…” he moaned, looking helpless.

“You don’t have to be.” I told him wearily, still pondering the odds of finding a good doctor anywhere around. California was my best bet. Or Arizona.

He stared at me for a while and odd jolt of Zan looking at me the same way lit inside in my skin. I snapped my head toward him and that broke him out of it. Throwing himself blubbering, at me, he buried his head in my stomach and started crying.

“It’ll be fine, Alex. Just write it down.” Struck by a sudden inspiration, I rifled through my bag for a page. An old notepad brushed against my hand and I held it out. “Here, write this down. Whenever you’re ready.”

He sniveled. “Sure.”

“Good, let’s go in.” I pushed him through and took a moment to glare at the heavens. Why was this happening to my son? Why? The V sign rejoiced by sparkling brighter than ever. I gave it the finger and went inside.


Lemme know, folks. Sorry for the delay.

Sarah

Strawbehrry Shortcake - wow...excellent deduction. Lol. You're pretty right about Zan, except for the fact thet no one forced him to fall in love with Liz and no, he and Tess are NOT working together. I love him too much for that. Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Smac - I wouldn't say he forced her to stay but your second option pretty much got it Thanks for coming back!

I'm a dreamer - oh, you can count on it.


Chapter 11.

I kissed Max. No, for real this time. I’d savored the way he’d kissed me back. We’d been under the canopy of stars, having the time of our life when it had happened. It had been magical. He’d been everything I’d known he would be.

“Mrs. Hunter?”

“Ms. Parker.” I corrected instantly, not happy to be yanked out of my dreams. “Yes, what can I do for you?”

The woman who’d addressed me looked like a movie star having a day off. I wasn’t as impressed as the rest of the diners were.

“I’m a scout for fresh blood, so to speak. I was wondering…”

“No, I’m not interested in writing a book, thank you.”

“Well, you’re a highly recommended editor. I was wondering if you’d be interested in a new venture?” her smile was confident and if that Benz parked outside showed anything, it was damn sure her ‘ventures’ were successful.

I smiled back. Hell, money would be good right now. “I’m a free-lancer. I don’t work well in a uh…office environment.”

“Not a problem. It’ll be your environment.” She paused, waiting for a response.

Okay, did she just say what I think she said?

“You’re offering me what... a new job or a new business?”

“A new job. My clients want the profit, that’s all. Everything else is up to you.”

Hmm…interesting. “So, where’s the office?”

“LA.”

I frowned. “I’m sorry, I can’t accept. I have a child. I can’t leave him here.”

“We have a great day-care center.”

“You want me to commute between Roswell and LA every day? Excuse me, but isn’t that a bit unreasonable?”

She smiled, genuinely this time. “Well, you just said you couldn’t work in a business environment. You’ll just have to be present for meetings, that’s all. Probably two or three times a month. All expenses paid. The rest you can do from your house.”

Really interesting.

“Let me think it over.”

“Sure. You came highly recommended.”

‘You said. Wait, who recommended me?”

She reeled off a dozen big places I’d freelanced for. “Okay.” I held out my hand. “Thanks for stopping by.”

“You won’t regret it.”

No shit, I thought, looking at the figures in the estimated remuneration clauses.


I flew out of the dingy office we’d been chatting in.

Michael regarded me with a frown. “Where’s the fire?”

I smirked. “I got a job.”

“What, more green aliens?”

I rolled my eyes. “Well you got the ‘green’ part right.” I thumbed the contract and shoved it under his nose.

He whistled. “Hey, do they need some more people?”

“For what? Destroying the place?”

“Funny.” But he looked serious, so I softened. “I’ll see. In what? I just don’t see you editing articles, Michael.”

It was hard to control the grin; Michael with huge, black bi-focals on and demolishing someone’s precious work was a sight made in the Funny Farm.

“Art and design.” He said quietly, as if thinking.

“You? You know what to do with a brush?” This time the howl got out before I could squelch it.

“Golly, Parker, sensitive much these days?” with that, he gave another withering glare and stomped back to the fryer.


“What’s that?” Maria asked, floating in a cloud of citrus perfume.

“Contract. Editorial job.” I grinned as she smacked my hand in a high five.

“We should go shopping.” She wrote down in some pink glittered pen. “You need some hip clothes.”

“I have them.” I reassured her.

“Anyway, I’m here for my shift. Let me know if you need any help with that doc search.” With that, she flounces in, clipping an ID.

“It’s okay. I can’t do it today anyways. The Crash is a madhouse, especially since we added new specials. I’m overwhelmed enough as it is.”

She looked worried. “Last time I heard, Alex was getting worse. Are you sure it’s wise to wait?”

I banged a couple of orders down. “NO! It’s not wise but what else am I supposed to do? You’re already coordinating the entire floor and Michael’s got the grill. Who else is there?”

Maria didn’t look convinced. “Forget the Crash. Alex’s more important.”

I tore at my hair. “I know! But I can’t get out of this, either. Not with the biggest sales we’ve had all year!”

The door jingled and as I watched him enter. He smiled that special, old smile that lit his eyes and made the recipient feel so damned special. I fell in love all over again. What’s wrong with me??

“Hey. Just a quick cherry coke. I’m going to Phoenix.” he brushed past me into the employee section and grabbed a cup.

I noticed the file in his hand. “ Neural disorders?”

“Yeah, I even found a couple of good doctors.” he beamed.

Maria and I exchanged glances.

“Well? What do you say?” he prompted.

I threw my arms around him, making him stagger with my weight. “You’re tops!”

He laughed, held me for a second and leaned back. “What’s wrong?”

“Biggest sales of the season and I’m too worried about Alex. He’s getting worse.”

“No biggie. Here’s the names and addresses of a couple of them in the area. You can look over it in your own time.”

Maria looked at me pointedly. “I can handle the Crash, really.”

Max looked to and fro. “What’s wrong? Would it kill any of you to give me a straight answer?”

I sighed. I didn’t want him doing anymore than he already had. “Maria’s right. Alex’s gotten really worse, Max. I’m afraid, I need a favor.”

“Well, ask, dammit!”

“Could you run the Crashdown for me? Just the next few hours, till the lunch hour? Please?”

“Liz, that has to be the stupidest thing I’ve heard you say! Of course I will.” He took the tacky aquamarine uniform from Maria’s excited fingers and donned it on top of his shirt.

“Good enough?”

“Take it off before someone calls the cops.” I laughed as Maria screamed with glee.

Alex came running down.

“Mom…”

Total silence.

He glanced injuredly at Max, unable to believe that his hero would wear something that disgraceful.

“Hey, lil guy!” Max and Maria cooed in unison.

“Max…eww!” he ran back up.

“Well, he seems okay.” Max commented. “Only the fact that he’ll never talk to me again, but still ok.”

“I know.” I ran a tired hand through my hair. They seem to clumping up. Gross. “That’s what makes it worse. I’m just not prepared for the next attack.”

“It’s an attack? Like a heart condition?” Max asked sharply.

“No, he just stiffens up. Like he’s in shock. Maybe I should try checking for cardiologists.”

“Or maybe I should …” he trailed off at our curious looks.

“Max, I know you love him and want to do things at his pace, but this has gone far enough. For god’s sake, every time he stiffens up, I feel like I’m losing him! I’m not doing this to him or myself. So, please! Don’t try talking me out of this!”

I shook my head at the mute appeal in his eyes.

“Fine.” He agreed. “We’ll handle the Crash. You look for a specialist.” And then he turned serious. “I’ll keep Alex with me today. So that he doesn’t find out what you’re doing. I’ll keep a look out.”

I leaned up close. Maria took one look and beat a hasty retreat, keeping a growling Michael out.

“Thank you.” I whispered against his cheek. He nodded, supporting the back of my neck. My heart sang. I’d kept myself from falling captive to him once and I’d regretted it every day. That shackle was nowhere in sight. And I fell, blissfully.
~~/\~~


Max’s voice filtered through the din. I could hear the Crash getting noisier by the second, but his voice rose above that. Not in volume but in stridency.

“What’re you saying? That this puts…” I could hear Michael’s low, angry growl.

I stepped down a few more stairs. They were nowhere in sight, so they had to be in the backroom. Well, I’d figured it was obviously backroom convoy.

“Max, this is! Don’t you see what’s happening? We can’t tell her. And what’re you going to say anyways? It was Zan’s job; he married her. Not me and not you.”

They were obviously talking about me. I felt something dull throb in my side. What was it that Max couldn’t tell me, that Zan hadn’t and that Michael refused to entertain the idea of?

More furious whispers. I skipped down another couple of stairs.

“It’s her…” Max’s bitter voice was drowned by the pressure cooker going off.

“And do you know what would happen if they do go?” Michael again.

Who goes where?

“I can’t stop her, Michael. It’s beginning to scare her. Seizures and stuff.”

Wait a freakin’ second, are they talking about Alex?

“She can’t go!” Michael’s voice was adamant. “Absolutely not.”

Max said nothing. There was only the erupting, violent hiss from the fryers.

“I don’t know how you’ll do it but do it. She can’t go. That’s final.”

I could practically see Max’s snarl. A crash indicated that Michael had just been jerked back from his smarmy exit.

“Michael," his voice held a note of malevolence. “You’re not a parent. You can’t tell a mother what’s good for her child. If that’s too convoluted for your understanding, then try this on for size – what possible excuse can I give that would make her listen?”

Silence.

“Exactly. None. So don’t go throwing your weight around of what you know best.”

“You could check him out. You could go with them.” Michael’s voice cut through, more resigned this time.

What the hell is it that Alex has and why shouldn’t I know about it? How can a disorder be that serious and why does it affect Michael? And who’s going to answer all these questions?

Zan. It had to be related to Zan.

“I don’t have a choice. One of us has to be there.”

Us? Now’ there’s an ‘us’?? This is getting ridiculous.

I debated whether to confront them. Short of giving them a coronary, I don’t what it’d accomplish. So I skipped down another couple of steps. And God help them, if they decide to come out.

“Just remember this. I know that you love Alex. We all do. We just can’t kill him while at it.”

KILL?? My mind swam in riddles and before I knew it, I was flying down the stairs and the backroom door was opening.

Three of us stopped in shock.

Michael scowled and instantly went back to the kitchen. Max scowled and looked away. I scowled and dared him with my glaring eyes to leave.

“Hey.” He said after a while. He could tell from my face that I’d heard. I knew the shock was imprinted in my very expressive face.

“Come upstairs for a second.” My voice brooked no objections.

“The Crash is full.”

“Now.”

With that, I made my way up.

Questions assailed me. What was going on? Surely a criminal father’s blood wasn’t that tainted that Alex would become physically sick? But it wasn’t physical.

“Jeez!” I wailed aloud.

The door opened. Max came in looking haggard.

“How much did you hear?” he asked, straight up.

“Everything. Everything from how telling something to me was Zan’s responsibility and obviously he hadn’t bothered, so it falls to you. So, give.”

“It’s Alex.” Max said bluntly. I wanted to cry. “You can’t take him to a doctor.”

“Why?”

‘You just can’t. I can’t tell you.”

“No! Enough of ‘can’t’! Tell me what you can or hold on…I’ll tell you what I can!”

He came forward, already shaking his head.

“No, Liz. Listen to me. You can’t take him to a doctor. It’s dangerous.”

“Yeah? How?”

He looked like he was desperate to be elsewhere. “See, this is not my secret to tell.” I could almost hear him choke on his words. Liar!

“It was Zan’s responsibility. All I can tell you now is that would be best for Alex.”

“I told you, Max. You’re a pathetic liar. I can’t believe that my best friend in the whole world would just lie to my about my son!”

“Look at me.” I defiantly glared at the spot just to the left of his head. I didn’t trust myself to look into that familiar face and find nothing but a wall.

“I said, look at me.” Savage fingers seized my face and turned it in his direction. I couldn’t breathe. This was Max?

He was very close, eyes aflame and breathing harshly. “I love Alex. I don’t have to prove myself there. I’d never do anything that would hurt him. Trust nothing else but trust that.”

After giving me a whole five minutes to recover from the shock, he opened the door. “I’m asking you for a favor. For both our lives.”

He shut the door behind him. I reeled and somehow toppled on the bed like a drunk and went still. All I could think was, both of them?




Well? I know this is the start of the whole 'secret'. Just keep in mind that Liz has never seen ANY of them using their powers. She can't understand if it's of non-human status.

Having said that, await an update not before Thursday. Yes, I know I'm sick and demented

Love you guys.
Sarah

Chapter 12.

“Chica?” Maria’s voice came floating in.

I sat up groggily. I’d fallen asleep again. Lately, I seemed to be doing that way too many times.

“In here.”

She came in looking suspicious. “Have you been crying?”

“No.”

At least that was the truth. I debated about telling her about what Max’d said. I knew I could trust her, but could I trust her not to mangle Michael? I decided I couldn’t. She’d slay Michael first and ask questions later.

“Babe, what happened? You look like your research didn’t go to well. What is it?”

“Umm…it actually didn’t.” I fell back down. She pushed me away and made a niche for herself.

“Continue.”

“There’s not much to say. None of them had anything on the type of delusions Alex’s been having.” I faced her. She looked worried, too.

‘Apart from the seizures, I’m not too sure that he isn’t making this up.” I confided, hating myself.

Maria sat up, disturbed. “Liz, I know I shouldn’t mention this now, of all times, but there’s something you should know.”

I bounced up, dread eating away my rational streak.

‘Where’s Alex?”

“Kyle took him out for an ice cream.”

Sighed in relief. “What is it?"

She looked hesitant. Like she didn’t know how to start. That makes the two of us.

“Hon, have you ever…" she trailed off.

“Maria?”

‘Well, I heard something a while back.”

”When?”

“Before closing time. Isabel was fighting with Max over something. I heard them mention Alex, so I just um…sneaked in.”

I didn’t interrupt. This was far too important to preach about eavesdropping, especially since I was guilty of it too.

"They were saying a lot of hard stuff. Zan, you, Alex. It was like they know something that they’re not telling you.”

She paused, expecting an outburst. She didn’t get it.

“They don’t want Alex to go to the doctor. I don’t know why, but she was mouthing off about skins finding out and some other shit. Said something about the blood. They sounded like they were on something!”

I felt my head spinning. Blood, skin? Now there’s skin involved? What next, his kidneys??

“IS something wrong with Alex? As in a genetic defect?”

I exhaled. Who knew?

“Didn’t you ever get him a blood type check? I figured, what with Zan being such a player and all.”

“I never got to it. When Max and Michael stayed there, I never had a chance to go to the doctor. I always thought I would, but never got around to it. It was never an issue because he never got sick…” I trailed off.

Facts fell around me like hail. Max and Michael. They never wanted to me to go to a doctor to begin with. From day one, ever since Max delivered Alex in my own bed, I’d never had the need to get him really checked out. Both of them had ensured that with their vigil. So, whatever they’d known, it must’ve been since Alex’s birth. I felt myself sliding. This was a nightmare.

Abruptly, a tear jerked loose. I let go of the clutched blanket and turned to Maria. She was looking angry.

“I’m going to. I never did it because I was blind and…and… stupid. No, but I’m going. Now.”

I dialed Kyle’s number, to bring Alex back. He sounded a bit miffed but I didn’t care.

“Tomorrow, as early as possible. You open in the morning.”

I took out the first sheaf I could find. The name and the address was there. I send a voice mail, asking for an appointment.

Maria stopped me. “Call him. Find out what it is. You don’t want to end up hurting him.”

I glared at her. “Maria, it didn’t stop him for a second to keep something this big from me. He’d known about Alex’s condition, rather predicted it, all of these years and kept bloody quiet! Give me one good reason why I need his permission.”

“He could get hurt by this.” She repeated. “We both know Max. He’d never do anything to hurt anyone, least of all Alex.”

I tore at my hair. “I know.”

“He deserves a chance to defend himself.”

“I’m not suing him, you know.” I glowered.

“You might. Who knows what’s he been hiding?” She said practically and started down the stairs.

I heard Kyle’s Mustang pulling up. They were home. I clenched my hands not to go pick up Alex and leave this damn place.

“You’re right.” I agreed.

There was no point tearing out of Roswell in the middle of the night. It would accomplish nothing. And on top of that, I’d Max’s words to remember “For both of us.” Why did it involve him? Son first or the love of my life, someone who’d never hesitated putting me above all else? The choice would’ve been hard enough but with the added doubts, it seemed unconquerable.

I slumped down.

“Liz, it’ll be fine. Just go over and have a talk with him. He’ll understand.”

“I don’t know. He’s got that wall up again. I don’t know what to think!”

“What’s the time?” I asked, putting on a tattered pair of espadrilles.

“Just over 10. We closed early, since supplies were finished.” She replied, rifling through my wardrobe.

“What’re you doing?” I asked. I knew exactly what she was doing.

‘Well, you can’t go there with drool down your cheek and a matted down Garfield tee, that’s for damn sure.” Expertly, she brushed back my hair. I didn’t have the energy to fight her. “ A little color and you can look the part of a young, sexy mom.”

‘I don’t look the part now?’ I yawned. Guess not.

“Nope. You’ll do much better with this.”

This happened to be a backless, Indonesian batik print top with minuscule straps.

I raised an eyebrow as she whistled.

“I’m going there to have it out with him, not for seduction.”

“Babe, you gotta distract him. What better way?”

I sighed. She’s hopeless! “Maria. We’re not horny teenagers, k? And Max doesn’t like the vampy type.”

“How would you know? Like you ever went down that angle?” She scoffed, throwing some slingbacks at me. Jeez! Then she grinned, ‘Just metaphorically, of course.”

“Of course!” I snarled back. “Git! I’m this close to killing the sonofabitch. I don’t need to put on a show for him.”

“K, then wipe that drool off, cuz you’ll be defeated before you even start.”

“It’s not a duel!” I huffed, exasperated.

“It will be.” She predicted gaily and preceded me down the stairs. “Are you sure the Garfield tee shirt is any good?”

I unlocked my car. “It’d better be.”

Alex approached me, looking rather wary. “Mom, you okay?”

"Fine, you?” I answered absently, too busy mulling over what to say to Max to notice his grinning countenance.

“Cuz that’s my shirt.”

Kyle snorted as Maria hid her triumph graciously. As I trudged back upstairs, she called out “I laid that cherry top on the bed.”

Kyle gave an exaggerated shudder and shirked away. “You did what?!”

I chortled with unholy glee at Maria’s stammering howl. That girl!
~~/\~~

Some thirty minutes later, I was pounding the buzzer for all its worth. Alex had strict instructions to go to bed while Maria and Kyle indulged in an all-out, free raid of the Crash kitchens.

“Max?” I called again. It was getting late and I knew he’d nowhere to be.

Oh yeah, sure you know! For all you know, he’s out peddling Zan’s drugs!

I shook the marauding thought away. Zan was a lot of things but he never got involved with drugs. There wasn’t the slightest trace of any symptoms, any single indication that he’d done it. Then again, with Zan, who knew? He’d convinced me that he was worth tying the knot with, for god’s sake!

I fished out my cell to call him, as I saw the lights blink back on. I tried to peer through the curtains, but it was impossible. I’d never noticed it before, but over the open, airy windows were curtains that cloaked his space. Everything was tinted; one would never doubt the host’s intentions but there was a lot more to Max Evans that even I’d realized.

It didn’t make it any easier.

I was about the ring the bell again, as Michael appeared. Where were they, for the last 10 minutes, that they couldn’t hear the door?

I pulled back my hand and slipped to a side as Isabel showed up. I hadn’t really been too keen on seeing Max’s new pad. After all, I’d figured I’d be doing that later, but I hadn’t reckoned the need to stake the damn place out.

Michael seemed to be arguing rather loudly. His growls came out less muffled than the rest.

“Max, it’s that time of the year. Whatever that guy said made perfect sense to me. This is the last chance we have of getting the Granolith out of his clutches. Forget about the rest, this is about us!”

Max’s voice came. It was unpleasant. ‘I don’t trust Cal. I don’t like the fact that he knows all about them.”

Isabel broke in harshly. “I agree with Max. This is stupid, believing Cal at face value. He could be allied with the skins, for all we know.”

Skins? Is that the name of a cult, drug ring, drug itself?

“What reason does he have to lie? He’s living the ultimate life. And he’d had no idea that we were going after him. I’m telling you, what he said made sense.’

There was a lull.

“We need...”

I didn’t wait anymore. Hammering at the door, I waited in grim satisfaction as the silence spoke volumes.

“Who is it?’ Max’s voice sounded guarded.

“It’s Liz.” I tapped my feet.

There was a lengthier, violent silence.

Isabel opened the door. We regarded each other coolly.

Michael, astonishingly, made the first move. ‘What’s up?”

“My temper.” I said shortly.

Isabel glared at both of the men.

Max didn’t say anything. He kept mum patiently.

“Can I talk to you?” I asked him, rather sharply.

He looked resigned. “Let’s talk here. Obviously, your recent habit of eavesdropping hasn’t stopped, so we can all answer your questions.”

I stung under that low barb. “Yeah, I suppose so. Ever since people I thought I could count on started lying and manipulating my son and me as bait, I found it a patently life-saving…habit!”

“Hey!” Michael barked. “We are not manipulating you!”

“No?” I shot back, incensed. “So who’s Cal? And why can’t I take Alex for a check-up?”

His rage simmered down. ‘I can’t tell you that.”

“Exactly!” I snarled.

Isabel was beginning to look desperate. “Liz, we love Alex. We would never want something that’s bad for him.”

“I’m his mother. I know what’s best for my son.” I shot back, beginning to get mad. “And if you’re so all-knowing, then tell me!”

She shook her head. "We can’t. It’s...”

“Not your secret to tell. I heard.” I spoke scathingly.

Max winced.

“Liz, please! Enough of that.” He brushed back a lock of hair.

I was starting to feel sorry for all of them. They looked like they were being forced into the lion’s den with no flashlight. And they had no idea what I was going to spring on them.

“You’re right. Enough of this crap. I’m going.” I looked at them. Apprehension was written in every face. “To Phoenix. Found a good specialist there who’s willing to check up on Alex. Heart, blood, skin diseases.” I added for further emphasis but they didn’t change expression. Only after a short pause did Isabel’s eyes widen in alarm. She looked at them, stricken, but they didn’t get it. Aha!

I started walking out but didn’t get to go too far. Isabel had a tight grip on my arm. "Liz, you can’t go.”

I shook her off savagely. "Give me a good reason why.”

Max cleared his throat. Isabel’s body had covered the other two from my gaze for the past few minutes, and obviously a silent agreement had been reached.

“Liz, calm down. Alex’s not in any danger. Not physically.”

“Why do I not believe you, Max?”

There was a flash of pain in his eyes. But he swallowed it. “I can’t tell you what to do.” He stopped at my ungracious snort, but dammit, he’d hurt me! “But in this case, I’m asking you. Please don’t put him through that.”

‘Would you quit talking in riddles! Put him through what?”

“Alex’s got a rare…” he paused for a second. I could just feel Michael ready to break his jaw. “A rare blood defect.”

Isabel gasped.

Michael scowled at her.

She fell quiet.

“It’s not dangerous or anything like that. More like an anomaly.” He swallowed hard. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

“So you kept it from me?” I tried not to bawl in front of them but hearing the news of my baby’s illness, coupled with Max keeping important things from me was making me dizzy.

“I know what it’s like.” His voice softened. Huh?

Isabel started to talk but Max cut above her ruthlessly. “We both do, me and Isabel. We probably had it from our real parents.”

Michael choked.

I waited, eyes in slits.

“Mom took me once to a doctor. It was…horrible.” He finished, sounding bitter. “I don’t want Alex going through the same thing.”

“You’re saying it’s genetic?”

He looked relieved. “Probably.”

Isabel cringed and started to correct him but I shut her up with a glare.

“If it’s genetic, then how come Alex has it? What, Zan got it from you?” I sneered.

Max looked helplessly at me. I knew I was pushing him. So far half of his explanations made sense and the other half was appalling.

“Tell me this. How is Zan related to this? You told me earlier that this was his responsibility, remember? So how can your blood defect be his secret?”

Isabel gulped. Michael was looking murderous. I was beginning to panic. If Max tells me he’s Zan’s twin, I’ll kill myself on his Oriental runner, I swear!

Max didn’t flinch. "I’m sure you noticed our similarities. It can’t be a total shock, Lizzie. We’re related.”

“Siblings?” I asked, hating the answer. I’d hold this against Zan, too.

“No. We had the same donor.”

“Wait a sec!!” I shouted, not noticing their pale, relieved faces. "You were test-tube kids?”

Max laughed, albeit awkwardly. Michael scowled again. “Yeah, I guess.”

“And the blood is..” I trailed off, unable to finish it.

“Tainted. Yeah.” He didn’t meet my eyes.

“No, it’s not! I’m not going to bring my son up, as if he was lacking in something!” I lashed out. “And why didn’t you tell me this before?”

Isabel took a firm hold of me. I scrubbed off the tears furiously.

“Liz, do we look tainted to you?”

I gulped. There was such a raw look pain in their eyes that I had no words. “I’m sorry.” I snuffled out. “It’s just such a huge shock. I didn’t mean to call you guys names or anything.”

She put her arms around me, since I’d started a real bawl-fest. "We know. We’re sorry, too. It’s just that this is dangerous. I remember how Max had looked after they’d brought him back.” I could feel her shudder. “They’d done tests on him. It was awful. I couldn’t live with letting Alex face the same thing, knowing I could’ve prevented it.” There was a slight catch in her voice.

“We’re not abnormal, Liz. We’re just…” Max trailed off, his voice gruff.

I swallowed another burst of tears. “Different.”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

“Is this why you’d always keep …” I fell quiet. No need to blurt out that I’d a tremendous crush on him in the middle of a crisis.

He nodded. I sat down weakly. Things needed to be put to focus but my strength was all but gone.

“I need some time to digest this.” I said faintly.

“Take it.” Michael replied, strangely gentle. “We’re here for Alex.”

I nodded my thanks. Isabel started out the door. “Call me if he gets uh...you know…worse.”

That got me thinking again. By the time the other two had left, I was almost back to shipshape.

Max came back. "Shouldn’t you call Alex and let him know?”

“I left him with Maria and Kyle.”

Again that frown. "I see.”

“Max, who’s Cal?” I asked.

He took out a fudge cake from the fridge. “Want some?’

I shook an impatient negative. He settled besides me, the chocolate looking frosty and oozing with Tabasco sauce. I looked away.

“Liz, Cal is not your business.” He said, eyes serious. “That’s not what you want to ask anyways.”

“You don’t know that.” I murmured. But he was right. I was more worried about what to do with Alex.

“Is that why you don’t like hospitals?” I asked, slanting him a glance.

The chocolate stopped halfway to his mouth. “Sorta.”

“Will Alex get worse?”

“Do I look like a dead piece of meat to you?” he quipped back.

“What’s going to happen to him? What sort of signs should I expect?”

“Delusions.” He said, his voice bitter.

“Blood affects delusions?”

“Yeah.” He spoke hesitantly. ‘It’ll go away soon. He’s just beginning to grow up, so he might make up more then he’s actually experiencing. You have to be patient.”

I banged my head. “This is a nightmare."

“It’s not. Look at me. Do I look freaky to you? I just don’t want him stigmatized.”

I pondered the next one. “Was it hard?” I met his gaze. “On you?”

He looked away, as if he was about to betray his own feelings. I caught a hold of his face and turned it around. His eyes were moist.

“I guess. I never really bothered much about it. I’d more important things to do in my life.”

I felt my heart break. There was so much pain in his eyes, so much secrets. He looked like Alex for a second, so similar that face was.

I enveloped him in my arms and he clutched me like a lifeline.

“I never manipulated you.”

I placed my lips on his neck to breathe and gasp out a few words. “I know!”

His grip got tighter. I think I cracked a rib. “Thanks. For talking it through.”

I gurgled for air and he let go. I inhaled. "Max, like I’d ever put you in any spot intentionally!”

He smoothed back the hair from my face. Ah, heaven. "I know. I know.”

“I’ve to go back.” I got up regretfully, favoring my side.

He reacted, probably without much thought. A gentle hand cupped my side. Just centimeters away from interested essentials.

I felt my face flood. He let go as if I were fire.

“I!!!” We both squeaked and then laughed.

“G’night, Liz.” The air was warm, promising. It felt like ambrosia.

“Night, Max.”

I got in my car, waited for him to go back inside. He did, after a pause and I slammed my head down on the steering wheel. Could I be anymore in love with him?


Well? Hope that answered some of the questions. Of course, the Pod Squad is still lying. But thre's hope yet....
Lemme know,

Sarah

I'm LOVING your opinions, guys! Hilarious and yes, the reasons are tremendous, too. In fact, I'm having a hard time envisioning how you'll like it if or when Mcx does come clean. He has an excuse (he'd effing better! ) but the real question is, is it good enough? I hope it will be.

As for the White Room theory - yes, it's true. I'm not going to expand much in it but yes, it was big factor. I gave tiny hints in the 3rd Chapter, I think. Suffice it to say that it wasn't pleasant and Isabel and Micahel vehemently oppose 'telling' anyone, same as they did in the last few episodes in S1, namely Max to the Max.

Anyway, frenchkiss (aw, sweetie the PS was so sweet!), mareli, Eve, Sweet Teeny, Smac, roswellluver, I'm a dreamer & Strawbehry Shortcake - I love you guys. And I love hearing what you have to say. Thanks for spending time on this one.



Anyway...here it is.


Chapter 13


I locked the car and started up the rickety fire escape. All the while, my head was in the clouds. No wonder Max’d always had that look in his eyes, that he was different. I’d thought so many different scenarios, but never something so simple…so real. It made me want to hurt someone. He, of all people, had no business getting trampled in the muck by insensitive people.

I shivered, almost feeling his touch on my skin. How I wish!

Maria rushed out as I clambered over the top. “It’s late! I was getting worried!”

“It’s ok. I’m fine. In fact, Max and I’d just talked it through.” Then I got stumped. What to do now?

She looked at me expectantly. “Well?? What’s his excuse?”

Urk! "Umm… we misunderstood. It wasn’t about us.”

She didn’t buy it. “Damn it, I heard them mention Alex!!”

“It was someone else.” I snapped back.

Who am I tell her anything abut Max? or Michael? Or any of it? It’s not my secret to tell.

As much as it broke me to keep things from her but I couldn't betray Max's confidence. If he'd kept it so long from me, it was obviously important enough.

She inhaled sharply. “Fine. See you.” With that, she turned on her heel.

“I’m sorry..” I called after her, but too late. She was already ranting downstairs.

Damn.

I went inside. Alex was sleeping on my bed. Obviously, Maria had forgotten to put him in the other bedroom. Well, no matter. I was in the mood for a little cuddling anyway.

As I brushed back my hair, I reflected on what had been said. Max obviously has very deep feelings about Alex. That was no lie. And he cared about me something fierce, too. May be, even loved me a little. No surprise. No guy does so much for just a friend.

Then why won’t he commit? Why won’t he come clean? Why can’t he just utter three lousy words???

“Because he’s a wimp. Or too sentimental.” I sighed out loud. My hair was brushed back to a shine, I noticed. Pulling my Snoopy nightshirt (that matched Alex’s) over my head, I slumped down on the bed.

He looked so divine that I felt the moisture burn in my throat. How could it be that such preciousness had to bear such a price? I sat there, looking down on my sleeping son and wondered if there was a just reason for any of it.

As if he realized someone was scrutinizing him, he woke up.

Dark eyes, flecked with green opened, slumberous; I felt that similar feeling in my stomach. This was a different kind of love. How was it that I found such strength, every time I looked at him?

“Mom?”

I stifled the impulse to wail at him. Nope, that’d be no good.

“What?” I could hear the tears in my voice.

He yawned mightily, the way little kids do when they have a parent’s undivided attention. He added a few snuffles for good measure. I couldn’t help tickling him on his podgy tummy.

Gurgling, he leapt up. “Ahahaha!!”

I struggled as he decided to hurl himself at me. All about 100 kgs. Staggering, I fell face flat. His delight was uncontainable.

“Bedtime!” I said sternly.

He looked at me- eyes twinkling, face flushed, and the most diabolical smile in the world. I caved faster than butter.

“Fine. You can stay up.”

He snuggled in close to me. “Can I sleep here?”

I pulled him in. “Like I’d let you go, huh?” It was true; there were times my need to be with him, even though we both have different lives, just go over my head.

“Mom,” he broke the cozy silence. I scowled at a dirty patch on his neck and started removing it. He shook me off impatiently. "Tell me about Roswell.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Did you go to hockey games?”

“No.” I snerked. In this heat? “No, hun. We had cool basketball games though. And your uncle Kyle was both a start forward on the team as well as a quarterback.”

“Max?” he asked, faster than greased lightning.

I sighed. “Uh…”

What to say without labeling Alex’s hero as uh...weak?

“He didn’t like games much. Played basketball, though.”

Alex frowned importantly. "I play more than him.”

“Too true.” I agreed blithely.

“What about you? Did you play soccer?”

I sighed. I remembered that day. I’d been in the girl’s locker room, taking a break when Max had come barging in. The look on his face had been priceless.

What’re you doing here, Max?

Uh…just umm….

Umm?

Yeah. So, this is the girl’s locker room?

What does it look like? Yeah.

I’d laughed.

You look great in royal blue. There’d been an odd catch in his tone over the voice ‘royal’.

Uh, thanks.

He’d been speechless. I’d been, too. I’d been so smitten that talking near him had been difficult. And then Tess had arrived.


“And we could go to Disneyland.” Alex finished. Obviously I’d spaced out.

It was beginning to hurt again. Why couldn’t we have had this child? Why did it have to be Zan and me? I loved him, sometimes so damned much; it physically hurt to be near him. I knew he’d have been different, that we’d have had a real marriage. I’d seen it reflected in his eyes every single moment during his stay in NY; starting from when I’d fed Alex to the time he’d changed his diapers. I’d been there. I wasn’t dreaming it up. Or maybe it was all just in my head.

“Mom?”

‘Sorry. I’m kinda tired.” I rubbed my eyes to remove the liquid pooling there. Two salt drops swam in perfect tandem off my cheeks. Alex looked at me, worried.

“Mom!! Why’re you crying?”

I sniveled, feeling like a heel for raining on his parade. “Sorry, darling. I’m just wiped out.” I belly-flopped down.

With an effort, he laughed but the little face was serious. I reached out and snuggled him up to my chest. “Sleep.”

He wiggled for a while, made himself comfortable. His favorite posture was on my upper torso, head buried in the crook of my shoulder, smelling my perfume. I’d slept like that with my Mom, too.

‘G’night.”

He kissed my skin and nodded off.
~~/\~~


I woke up as he shifted off me. He was alert and stiff again and whimpering. I clutched him and bolted awake.

“Alex?”

He tried to form a response but he was terrified. “Mom…” he pointed towards the door.

I peered into the gloom. There was nothing but night sounds.

I turned to him, cross. But he was literally speechless. He just kept staring at the door.

I was about to light into him when the door eased open.

I stopped all movement.

There was no air, no wind, no nothing. There was supposed to be no movement.

I grabbed Alex to me in fright.

Putting my hand over his mouth, I started getting off the bed.

Then I stopped.

There seemed to be someone at the window, too.

Alex sucked in a gulp of air.

Calculating my chances of lunging and closing the fucking window, I started crawling forward.

The dark took on a smell. Fear. I smelled fear.

I reflected on our situation. We were there alone, with no viable help anywhere. No damn person that would hear us if an accident took place. And who was here, anyway? It didn’t seem like a normal robbery. That’s what you get for bringing a car like a Jag to this backwater hick!!!

I stepped on a toy and winced as the metal cut into my foot. It was no time for pain. I looked warningly back at Alex but I needn’t have. He was frozen with terror.

I took a coupe of steps near the window. The latch was open. I imagined the cloaked eyes on the other side, just waiting for me. Irrationally, I wondered about the way the knife would feel against my throat. The inches lessened. I was so nearly there!

Alex whimpered and I slammed the damn thing shut and bolted it through.

The racket it made was deafening in the shrill silence.

I waited for a gunshot to ring out, anything to happen. Nothing did. It was a blood-chilling wait as I poked the curtains apart, all the while praying for nothing to be on the other side.

Chilling darkness in the summer night.

I whirled around. Alex was gasping in fright as we both acclimated our visions to the dark. There was a definite shape just outside my bedroom door. I could see the dark splotch underneath the door crack.

I motioned for Alex to wait and started towards it.

At that instant, another one of Alex’s toys, a noisier version, tripped underfoot. I stumbled and fell. My muffled shrieked echoed around for what seemed like hours.

Alex scrambled off the bed, his eyes huge “Mo…”

“Shut up!” I hissed at him. He fell quiet, eyes trained on the doorway.

I followed his glance. There was still no change. Whoever was outside was more than aware of our activities but hadn’t deigned to make a move.

Very weird for a robber. So maybe it’s not a robber, Liz! Maybe everything you’d wondered about Zan was true. Maybe someone’s here for revenge.

If only Alex had gone with Maria!! My mind bemoaned. Well, too bloody late now.

I grabbed the small 9-millimeter I kept in my bedside, a testament to my survival in the streets of NY. Right now, it’d come might handy.

I turned to Alex, who was shaking his head and babbling about how they don’t die this way! I paid no attention. It was no time for his delusions.

“Stay down.”

I crept for the door, my eyes riveted on that murky spot where his heels were. I thought about pulling the trigger. Suppose it ricochets, you moron? If you die, who’ll save Alex?

I shook my head to clear it, panic eating away at all rational thought.

The silence was deafening. I gulped and it sounded like a tap turning on. Controlling my shaking wrist, I inched forwards, never taking my eyes off the door.

Alex whispered more urgently. He shook his head, adamant for me not to open the door.

I gripped the lock I could feel that person on the other side. Menace radiated off the blank wood in waves. He hadn’t moved.

The instant I loosened the clenched muscles to unlock it, Alex moaned.

I whipped around. His eyes were squeezed shut; he was mumbling something about dying. I froze.

So did the perpetrator.

I yanked myself around, even though my mind screeched wildly in alarm. Gathering Alex in my arm, I bundled us in my bed, positioning the gun, not even wavering. I knew without a shadow of doubt, that if anyone opened it, I’d shoot to kill and I’d been trained by Zan. If nothing, he’d been good at hurting people in the worst way,. Right now, I was extremely grateful.

For the life of me, I didn’t understand how Alex knew what they wanted but he did. And I trusted his instinct like a hound sniffs blood.

The presence stayed outside. I didn’t dare breathe, knowing fully well that no help would come. My knuckles turned white in an effort to conquer the trembling but I couldn’t stop shaking. I felt my world turn black and wondered if it was all over.

Shook myself out of it violently. Stared across the floor till things blurred. The dark patch didn’t move, didn’t shift. Hysteria was settling in. I knew it was only a matter of time till I caved.

Snatching the godforsaken phone out of the cradle I dialed Kyle’s number, berating myself to the moon and back for not thinking of it sooner.

There was no dial tone.

I clutched Alex harder, tears seeping through. I was exhausted, mentally and physically and at the end of the rope.

And then my pager hit on me. Pouncing on it, I kept beeping Max till he came around.

He found us both white-faced and shattered. He didn’t ask questions.

Calmly cradling Alex in his arms, he took me by the elbow and settled my stiff body back. I eased myself down on the pillows, bawling from fear. He held us tight and finally, the trembling eased.

“Who was that?”

“Dunno.” he sounded worried. “I didn’t see anyone. You sure it’s not Alex?”

I shook a tired negative but comfort of his presence was acting as a sedative and he brushed gentle lips over my hair. He sat beside me for a long while, rocking Alex till his rest was less fussy. At one point, I felt him move.

Stumbling out of a dark, colorless dream, I clutched his arm.

“Please don’t leave.”

I didn’t beg often but he always reduced me to this. And I damned myself as I reveled in the way he made me.

“Shhh…I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” He slipped inside the cover and gently spooned my over-heated body from behind. Vivid colors exploded from behind my eyelids. I felt my breath catch. And then, it was all over like it’d never been.


Well??

Sarah.

Chapter 14


I woke up to the sound of the shower. Lurching awake and instantly regretting it, I made for it before stopping. If Alex was still sleeping beside me, that left only one person.
As much my hormones screamed for me to go in there and enact out Fantasy #10, I knew it was impossible

Last night had completely screwed my head and seduction wasn’t in the agenda. Throwing on a robe, I limped downstairs.

It was early but the New Mexico heat broiled through me, insidious, unwanted and very much irritating. I longed for the frosted cool nights of the Manhattan nights and snapped on the We’re Closed sign. There was just too much going on.

And suppose whoever was there last night, came by today in the Crash? You’d never know. You might even serve him every day and never know.

Not likely. If it had been a serial killer, he should’ve known that it was his best chance yesterday.

The backdoor swung open and I couldn’t quite control the way my heartbeat accelerated. And then it revved faster. Early morning Max was a sight I could get used to in no time.

His hair was damp; rivulets still ran down his face and neck. He looked cool, fresh and smelled of Alex’s Johnson soap. I wanted to devour him.

“Good morning.”

‘Hey, Max.” I stuttered out, busying myself with putting on some coffee.

He winced. “Please, none for me. This heat is unbelievable.”

You don’t know the half of it. “About last night.” I rushed in, desperate to stop getting even hotter. The way he was looking at me, especially at my untanned legs were making me nervous.

He lifted his head from the subtle perusal. “Yeah. What happened exactly? I didn’t see anyone out there, Liz. And I checked. Zilch.”

“Maybe he left.” I muttered, fear chasing away snatches of orgasmic contemplation. “But he was there, Max. We both noticed it.”

He propped his feet up on the counter. “Why don’t you tell me everything?’

“It seems too unreal. Like there were two people there but no one made a single move to come forward. Were they just baiting me or what?”

His eyes darkened. It was not lust. “Whaddya mean, baiting you?”

“Any serial rapists in the area?” I joked weakly but his face was flushed and I could guess it wasn’t just the heat.

“Lame, Liz, very lame.” He glared.

I fiddled with the sugar jar, still not getting it. “I called Kyle but the phone was dead. I didn’t have his beeper number, so I called you. Dunno, but those guys were there. It wasn’t just Alex.”

“Alex?” he cocked an eyebrow and suddenly, his breathing shortened.

“He was mumbling something about how they don’t die this way or that. I didn’t really pay much attention. Last thing I needed was to be distracted by his ramblings.”

Max unclenched his fist. “I see.”

“Max?” He seemed to be breathing funny. “You okay?"

He forced a smile, then jumped up. “I left my cell upstairs. I need to call…uh, my lab.”

“It’s 6:30.” I pointed out but it was too late; he’d disappeared upstairs.

Why did he go off into a tizzy about Alex? Yeah, so it’s a blood disorder and he’d already said that it didn’t have anything to do with Zan, so why lie? Strange.

Since Max still hadn’t come down, I started up after him. I was ready to lie in ice water till my blood froze.

Alex was still sleeping but the latter was outside on my balcony, face turned away slightly.

I eased back, not wanting to eavesdrop but yearning to know. Snippets of conversation floated back.

“It happened.”

Pause. A lot of shuffling and interruptions.

“Skins? You really think so?”

Max shoved the phone away from his ear. “Fine! I won’t. Look! I’ll be there soon. Just don’t get started on it without me.”

I sighed and shuffled some more, so that he knew I was coming. Obviously it was work-related and he wasn’t going to tell me.

By the time I was in, he was fiddling with the cell.

“Is everything all right?” I asked, rooting around for something that would provide decent cover and lots of air passage.

“Yeah, sorta.” He looked a bit apologetic. “I have to run. I’ve got some research to do. Samson won’t hear of me taking a weekly break.”

“Why don’t they promote you?” I fussed, not wanting to be left alone. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.

He smiled and a fraction of my irrational fright eased. “That’d be something to watch.” He brushed past me. Stopped. Turned back. I frowned at the ground, holding my breath.

He tilted my chin up. I tried frantically to calm myself but it had started thudding again. I swallowed at his tender look. I shouldn’t be doing this…I thought but already, his face was descending. Close my eyes? Swoon? Die of too much heat? Fragments filtered through my mind but I was too delirious to care.

“But thanks for the vote of confidence.”

His lips touched on the edge of my eyebrow, making an insistent moisture start up in me. Cool touches feathered downwards, laving icy shivers down my spine. Something was shrieking in me that the time wasn’t right but I was too far gone to care. I could smell the soap, as his cheek brushed mine. God, how did he do that? Stubble scratched the sensitive skin near my ear, which was probably wilting with the heat and the passion. I bit back a moan as his teeth slightly grazed the ravine off my jaw and neck. For a wild second, his mouth pressed against mine- open, insistent, dominant. I felt a blackness come over me. And then he was stepping back, enjoying the view.

“Was that an improvement?”

I swallowed, still unable to catch a decent gulp of air. Clutching a hand over my heart, I pressed the lapels of the robe closed. He hadn’t touched me, apart from his lips. I felt parts of me still melting and heaving. Golly.

He laughed, the devious, smug bastard. “I’ll take that as an yes.” Smirking, Max closed the door behind him softly, still breathing heavily.

I snuck a look at Alex, who was still dead to the world. After what seemed like an eternity, the blood stopped its cacophony. I slumped down back on the bed, head hitting the pillow and relishing in every, decadent second. In my post-kissing haze, it didn’t occur to me that every time we’d kissed, I’d black out.
~~\/~~

A crash sent me hurtling out of myriad colors.

Michael came sprawling in.

“What?” I howled, not pleased to be interrupted from such a cryptic dream.

‘Why the hell’s the front door closed??” he barked, none too thrilled himself. “Why didn’t you call?”

“I’m sorry…” I trailed off, realizing that Michael, Maria, Kyle, Isabel and the rest of the town had no idea what had happened last night. I debated against telling him.

No use getting Michael riled up on such a blistering day. He'd never shut up.

He picked himself up from the ground, putting on a happy face for Alex’s benefit. I snuck a peak at the watch. It was 10 am. I’d slept the last three hours away.

Alex leapt on top of the older man, babbling about breakfast. I caught his eye and before I could warn him about keeping his lips zipped, he nodded comprehendingly. Now, how did he know what I was going to say?

My bewildered frown must have shown something. He made sure Michael had gone down a few steps, before toddling back up. "I won’t tell him, Mom.”

My jaw dropped. “How the hell did you know what I was about to say?”

He frowned. “Didn’t you tell me?”

Did I? I gulped, realizing that after Max’s very explosive kiss, not much was registering.

“Go downstairs. I’ll be right in.” I yawned, closing my eyes.

Now what was happening to Alex? Was he becoming a clairvoyant?

A memory, so distant and yet so sharp, zoomed through my mind. It was just a whisper but so real, that I sat up in shock. Wait a friggin’ second! That was me! I was the damn clairvoyant!

I‘d seen it so clearly. Graduation day, 2003. I was serving a pretty brunette and as our hands had touched, I’d foreseen her death. And the weirdest thing was that Max had been there to stop it.

Funny thing was, that I hadn’t served anyone that same day, much less come in the Crash, apart from a terse goodbye as Zan’s Camaro had roared down the road, waiting for me. All Max had done was stare at me, his eyes hiding the scars so well.


“Liz?” Came yet another insistent voice.

Now Isabel was standing over me, worried. “Are you okay?”

Since when was she Miss Congeniality? “Fine.”

“Max called. Said that something had happened last night."

He did? But didn’t he just say that nothing had actually happened?

“Oh. That’s weird, cuz he told me that it was nothing.”

She gulped; a very odd reaction. “I know. But maybe it was Alex?”

“Yeah, well. I thought it was a robber.” I shifted out of bed.

She looked shrewdly at my rumpled bed. I started flushing. “So, um...how did Max know?”

Here we go again. "Max?” I asked, pathetically playing for time.

She crossed her arms over her ample chest. “Yeah. Um. Max. How did he know?’

“He came by.” I said vaguely, twirling the tassels of my robe. Be gone!!!

"Today or last night?”

She just doesn’t quit, does she!

"What does it matter?” I scowled.

She looked incredulous. “You think it doesn’t matter?”

“Look, Isabel!” I shouted, not wanting her to voice it. Why did she always make it seem so cheap? It was anything but! In fact, it was harmless! Right! That kiss was sooo doggone harmless. “What the hell’s wrong with you? So what if he stayed over last night?”

Her jaw dropped. “Uh. None of my business.” She sneered and walked off.

I threw a pillow at the closed door. “Now you get it!”


tbc....
The part was getting long so I divided into two parts. Next part up tomorrow. Lol, let me know if you guys still wanna kill Max.

Love,
Sarah

Hola, guys! Sorry about the delay but some drunk tore off my Internet cable...if you can believe that. :rolleyes: Anyway, here you guys go.

Continued from last part.


7 hours later, after I’d just about had it with curious glances and outraged expressions, I stalked to the office. Taking up the brochure the woman had left, I punched out the numbers.

A very nice switchboard purred in my ear about dialing the extension.

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi. Is this Ms…” I read off the page, “Mrs. Baker?”

“Just a second. Who should I say is calling?” she didn’t sound too helpful.

“Elizabeth Parker, from NY…uh, Roswell.”

There was a telling pause. I didn’t know my name was that big that people kept a reverential silence! "Uh…Ms. Liz Parker?”

"Yes!” I snapped, impatient.

“Yes, of course. Here she is.”

“Hello?”

Finally. “Mrs. Baker…” I couldn’t get another word in.

The lady gushed on and on about how glad she was to get my call. We discussed a suitable date to start and she gushed some more. Then I voiced my biggest objection.

“My son is a little unwell at the moment, so I’d like to work this month with as little trips as possible. Is that ok?”

There was another pregnant pause. “Really?” Now why would that bother her? “I’m sure something could be arranged. But you would have to come in sometimes. It’s the meet-your-staff thingy.’

Damn. “Uh, ok. I suppose so.”

“Excellent!” she trilled. “I can’t tell you how happy we are to have you on board.”

“Thank you.”

I let her wow me with some more details and then I hung up.

Voices floated in form outside. Maria seemed to be in a heated argument with some one or something. Someone. It wasn’t hard to guess.

I popped my head out to ref when the blood froze in my veins. I gulped.

Right on the counter, Maria and Michael, them of the professed, virulent, shared hatred of each other, were making out like there was no tomorrow. Ketchup bottles over-turned, Maria’s uniform was splattered with crumbs and Michael….

“Holy crap!”

I whirled around. This section was closed to customers, for god’s sake! But Kyle was staring at them, bug-eyed.

‘Welcome to Candy land.” I muttered, fleeing the gruesome sight.

He was right on my heels. Frothing at the mouth, we hurled ourselves back to my office.

“That’s what they do, huh?” I ranted in a semi-shriek. “They despoil my kitchen! God, I’ll never eat in there again!”

Kyle was still heaving. “No wonder the sumbitch is always so hostile! This must happen once in a while so he gets cranky for some…” he shut up off my ferocious scowl.

‘Oh God, how the hell am I gonna face them?” I bundled myself into a chair.

And then we glanced at each other, terrified. That smart rat-a-tat was coming from a very familiar heel. Isabel.

“Omigod!” I bawled and scurried out, ready throw myself in front of the icy bullets that would incinerate Maria. Kyle doubled over with laughter. I raced out, like the Horsemen of the Apocalypse were on my tail. And in a sense, it was that.

I stopped. Isabel was glowering there, sniffing like a hound. Maria was innocently retying her totaled bun and Michael was busy flipping burgers. The picture of unflappable calm.

And I was still white as a ghost.

Maria took one look at my raised eyebrow and beat a hasty retreat with her tray. I glared at Michael but he’d gone to fetch some supplies, even though the frier was full.

“Is everything ok?” Isabel barked.

“Perfectly!” I warbled, uncaring of the look on her face. “Why? Is something wrong with you?”

“Not a thing.” She was still barking. “And where’s Alex?”

None of your nosy business, I wanted to say. “The Sheriff took him out for some guy time. Said something about teaching him how to fish.”

If I had walked over there and started pouring a Blood Of Alien smoothie down her impeccably styled hair, she couldn’t have looked more horror-struck.

"Who?” she whispered.

“Sheriff Valenti? Kyle’s dad?” I prompted. But she was already out the door. Weird.

At that moment, Alex wandered in, reading his Dr. Seuss.

“Mom, I‘m hungry.”

“Sit down.” I told him and went to get a plate. I thought about calling Isabel and letting her know but what’s the big deal? She couldn’t have gone after Alex in the first place.

“I’m bored.” He whined, stuffing the burger down his esophagus like it was his last meal.

“You don’t look bored.” I taunted back, stealing his fries.

“I am!! I have nothing to do all day. I can’t play outside. I don’t know anyone! And why aren’t there any kids my age? Don’t people have babies here?”

I was about to interrupt his woes when Maria coughed. Her face was red. I couldn’t help it; it slipped out. “Another quickie?”

She choked. “God, Lizzie, the things you say!”

I followed her as she tried to escape. “Whaddya mean, the things I say? What about the things you do?”

“Relax, honey. It was nothing.”

I quirked another shaped eyebrow. “Really?”

She didn’t meet my eyes. “Really.”

Aha! “Then why are there multiple hickies on your neck? And why was he mauling you like that? Gawd! You were all of 3 seconds of being busted by none other than Ice princess herself. Alfresco, no less! Give the rest of us some warning, then!”

“I thought you were upstairs.” She mumbled.

‘Oh…you actually thought!” I howled, but inside I was thrilled to bits that finally they were coming around.

“Liz!" she started but seeing the laughter in my face, settled down. “Well, sure gave you something to watch, didn’t I?”

“Too much.” I quipped.

She blushed.
~~\/~~

The Crash finally closed for the night, I was a little disappointed. Sure had thought Max would come by. The day seemed never-ending.

I stepped into the kitchen, singing at the top of my lungs first.

Maria was still outside, supervising Tracy. Michael glared at me.

“Do you have to be so rude?” I said nonchalantly, taking a beer from the fridge.

“Do you have to be so damn curious?” he shot back.

“Damn, Michael! Even a dunce like you should know that you don’t win a girl’s heart through mauling her in a public place. That’s for porn movies, not real women.”

He leered obnoxiously down my rather flat chest. “And you’d know all about that, huh? Being a real women and all?”

I found my voice a few minutes after he’d left. “Sonofabitch!”

But it was too late. He was back outside again.

I was about to charge after him when my cell rang. It was Max, sounding freaked out.

“Where’s Alex!”

“He’s with me, Max! jeez!”

He was still panting like he’d run a mile. “He came back?”

Huh? “I suppose so.”

“What the fuck do you mean, suppose so? Is he with you or not??!” he shouted down the line.


I was too pissed off at all of them to bother replying. The fliptop got thrown against the far wall and smothered by the wrappers. Bastards!

Growling under my breath, I made for the stairs when the back door banged open.

I jumped a foot. “Oh!”

Max stood there, hair all over the place and looking frantic. “Why couldn’t you have hung up after telling me what I’d wanted to know??”

“And why can you not take a chill pill?” I shot back.

Alex and Kyle popped over the banister. “Every thing cool?”

“Eveything’s fine, Kyle.” I reply shortly as Alex raced for Max.

"Alex, honey. Don’t be so clingy.” I admonished, earning another scowl from Max.

Before Alex could ask for the meaning of the word, a breathy moan wafted in.

I looked at Kyle, panicked.

He started snickering.

Max frowned. “Is someone there, Liz?”

“NO!” I blocked his way, practically shoving him up the stairs.

Another low growl accompanied it in perfect tandem.

Max frowned harder. “Who the hell’s in there?”

“Umm…the TV. I left the TV on! You know the stuff they show on TV todaaaay. So gross. So explicit. Um, it’s just the show. Sex and the City reruns” I babbled, still blocking his hulking form. It wasn’t easy. He stood a good feet taller and probably two wider, than me.

Another loud moan erupted. I burned.

Alex squirmed out of my wise-like grip. Aghast, I appealed mutely to Kyle for help. But he was sitting there and enjoying the view.

“Alex!” I roared, hoping to jar those two morons. Alex grinned, an inch from opening the door. “No TV in here.” he observed, damn the kid!

Max pushed past me, almost dislodging my footing in the process. Somehow, my shirt’s flowing sleeves got stuck in his jacket zipper and I was dragged down like the Party Train.

I stood still, putting all my weight on the legs. It didn’t have any visible effect. He steam-rollered on; Alex heading the charge, me being the dead elephant and Kyle bringing up the rear.

I cringed as Max shoved the door open, hoping that the hinges would make a racket. Nothing happened. And then I remembered. I’d oiled them lovingly two days ago. Darn it!

“Hallelu-bleeding-jah!”

And that was just Kyle. Max was stunned beyond speech.

I snapped my hand over Alex’s eyes just as he’d started to laugh, muting the howls.

Michael, Maria continued shoving their tongues down each other’s throat and possibly elsewhere, as we stared at them in morbid, silent fascination.

And just when it couldn’t possibly get any worse, Isabel came roaring in.

She stopped, the doors still open. Her eyes bugged till they nearly fell out of her head.

“Umm, Michael. Maria.” I managed, trying not to breathe and die all at the same time. “Guys. Show’s over.”

They came apart like deflecting magnets at 1000 rpms. Michael’s shirt was somewhere underneath some booth. Maria’s had almost met the same fate but thankfully hadn’t. Faces flushed, still heaving and obviously double-time due to the shock they’d just received, they stared at us, wild-eyed and clutching each other.

I felt bad for them.

“Oh my God!” Isabel squeaked, still bug-eyed. “Oh my fucking god!”

“Isabel!” Max hissed, finally unfreezing the iced vocal chords.

“WHATTHEHELLAREYOUFREAKSDOINGHERE???!!” Maria and Michael shrilled, simultaneously. Then they fell quiet.

The silence was the worst.

It lengthened and lengthened until a choke burst out. Instantly, the rest of us frowned. No one wanted to be the first one to interrupt. We were ready for it to take all night, if that;’s how long it would be. The battle for dominance had begun. In a way, it saddened me. For god’s sake, it’s not like they killed anyone.

Finally, Alex, in a desperate attempt to save his two favorite people, burst out. “Mom, about being clingy…”

All eyes zoomed to him,. Swallowing, he mumbled meekly. “You meant like Auntie Isabel, right?”

Her eyes grew even more monstrous. Replete with a huge, wide-open mouth and her enormous cleavage heaving with fury, she was scary. Isabel inhaled so deeply that the oxygen level dropped. “WHAT?”

“Alex!’ I screeched, appalled. Great ice-breaker, son. Way to go.

No one knew what to say. Then Max stepped in. “Okay.” He exhaled mightily. “Let’s all go for pizza, shall we? I think it goes without saying that no food’s going to be edible here.”

Kyle finally spoke up, voice trembling. “I uh… have some plans.”

Maria finally came to. “Right. So do I.”

Isabel snorted. “Does that involve something horizontal and naked?”

Maria inhaled to lambast her but Michael beat her to it. “It doesn’t. And even if it did, Iz, it’s none of your business. Any of yours.” He directed this at all of us.

Isabel roared, her outrage erupting. “God, this family!! I’ve been scourging the entire fucked-up town for Alex. No one knew where he was! And you!” she snarled at me, "you said he was with the Sheriff! How could you…”

Max interrupted her rant before Kyle could take offense. “If he’d been with the Sheriff, you wouldn’t have worried, Isabel. Right?”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child, Max!" But apparently the trick had worked. She’d calmed down suffinciently enough to focus on Michael. “You SOB! You dirty, mangy SOB!”


“Hey!” Maria butted in. “Excuse me, but he’s not your property, get it? He’s free to do whatever the hell he fucking likes! You’d think we were doing something criminal, for God’s sake! It’s called SEX, people! Just because ya’ll aren’t getting some, no need to ram it down our throats.”

Max snorted. “Apart from his tongue, you mean.”

“Shaddup!” I fussed at him, throwing a worried glance at my delighted, inquisitive son. His ears were still a bit red at the mention of the word ‘sex’.

And then she rounded on Micahel. “And who says I’m not doing something horizontal and naked, huh? Says who!? My apartment. NOW!” She issued the final directive and marched outside, Michael following like a bitch in heat.

“Max!” Isabel screeched. “Stop them!”

Max started forward but Michael looked back, an odd expression swimming in his eyes. Whatever Max had wanted to say had obivously been heard.

Isabel stormed off in the other direction, Kyle following in her heels, trying to make sure she dind’t mow anyone down.

Alex took one look at me and ran back upstairs.

I snuck a peak at Max the same instant he’d tried the same. Our eyes met. Then landed back to where the lovebirds had smashed the ketchup bottles, the sugar and salt jars, the Tabasco sauce. I saw Max hide a smirk as he bent to clear it up.

“I’ll do it.” I stopped him.

He glanced up. Suddenly, the heat was back in full form. “It’s not a problem.”

"Max,” I started, not sure how to voice it. “Was it wrong? What they did?”

I expected another shuttered look. But it never came. Instead, he smiled at the broken Tabasco bottle pieces. “Liz, why the hell would it be wrong? It’s just that I was too shocked.”

I snorted ungraciously. “You should’ve seen them the first time.”

Max frowned. “Someone ought to tell Mike a thing or two about treating girls right.”

I nodded. “I tried. The bastard just very subtly insulted me.”

He grinned, as I hauled him to his feet. “So…’

I fidgeted, wishing I’d thought to turn on a fan or something.

I knelt again to start picking up the glass we’d forgotten. He bent, too. Our hands collided and another vison of a whirling red galaxy seared across my mind.

My head shot up. He was studying me rather intently. “So..” I trilled breathlessly.

The halfsmile etched itself permanently on my heart and the latter started the Highland fling thing yet again.

“You doing anything tomorrow night?”

The air whooshed out of my rapidly decreasing lungs. “No!” I gasped. Probably too desperately as he tried not to smile.

“You up for some Chinese?”

I smiled confidently. “Always.”

He stood up. “K then. It’s a date.”

A date. Not a lunch. Not a let’s-grab-a-quick-bite, no let’s-hang-together. A real date.

“K.” I parroted dizzily.

He let with a final backward glance. I waited till he was out of sight and then lay down on the floor. YES!!

Chapter 15.


The alarm went off precisely at 6:09 pm. I was awake to slap it shut. The day. D-Day. All sort of expressions flitted through my mind. It was time.

I’d tapped my fingers every single second they’d been free, fraught with nerves. My mind and heart were at war. It was my first date, expect them to be. And the question of the day was to be or not to be?

Should I be vampy? Sultry? Sweet? Innocent? Do I wow him with my sophistication or reveal the naïve lost girl look that he’d adored so much? Do I wear black? Or red? Which perfume did he like better? Do I jabber on all night or play it cool? Do I beat him at pool or soften that ego up a bit?

The morning had been occupied that way amidst sweating out yet another busy Crash day.

And then Maria had invaded. I’d kept the date a secret from her at first, not wanting to ruin her parade. She’d been glowing all day. Obviously, contrary to popular belief, Michael was great in the sack. Eww.

So after we’d discussed her stupendous one night to death and back, we’d fallen quiet. She, being the best friend, she’d always been, had sussed it out in 3 minutes.

“It’s Max, isn’t it?’ she’d said tartly “Is he giving you a lecture on what we should or shouldn’t do?”

“Max’s not like that, ‘Ria. He was actually encouraging. How weird is that?"

“True. Since when is this not a big deal for them? Maybe they realized that abstinence, while cute and all, wasn’t all that, huh?”

“Maria, that’s a disgusting thing to say! What makes you think they’ve never done this before?”

But even as I’d asked I’d known the answer. They just hadn’t. Their face didn’t reveal their emotions the way mine or Maria’s did, because we’d known and experienced real intimacy. I don’t doubt it for a second they’d occasionally indulged but they were missing a real part of it. The innocence was written in all of their faces, despite the much lived-in look. They’d lived all right. Just not the way most people did.

“So? What’s the deal with you and Max?”

I’d dropped the bomb. “We kissed, Maria.”

“That non kiss? Innocent lil peck on the lips?” She’d scoffed.

“Um, no. Yesterday. After he’d stayed behind.”

Then it had hit me. She didn’t know anything. Not about their blood disorder, not about the quasi-attacker outside my room. Nothing. Obviously, no one had thought to clue her in.

I’d fallen quiet.

Her eyes had widened enormously. “He stayed behind? ALL night???”

What to do? I hadn’t wanted to lie to her but for the life of me, not a single excuse had rung a bell.

‘Yeah. We sorta fell to talking. He stayed.” I’d stuck as close to the truth I’d dared. True to form, she’d been distracted from the ‘why’ to the ‘what happened’.

“And???”

I’d choked. “And nothing. In the morning. It just happened.”

She’d studied me shrewdly for what had felt like forever. “Musta been special if you’re still breathing hard.”

“I’m not. And yeah.” I’d glanced up into the sympathy and the understanding in her eyes. She’d known exactly what it had felt like. it'd been pure magic. The last few days had been good to us.

So we’d gone over outfits, one by one. Nothing had worked. Too classy, too professional.

At one stage, she’d tried to convince me to borrow her clothes. I’d known I was in trouble.

“No, sweetie. Your style and mine are different. VERY different.”

“What’s wrong with baring your cleavage once in a while? You certainly improved after having Alex.”

I’d blushed and stuttered as she’d draped a sheer georgette thing over my naked shoulders, the color of Max’s eyes.

“Have you lost it? He’ll think I’m desperate!”

“Maybe it’s time you gave him something to think about, eh?” She’d said, expertly bundling my hair into a classy chignon.

“Maybe not!” I’d struggled out of her grasp and hurriedly put on my antique lace top. That had had a nice, demure look to it, being sexy at the same time.

Maria hadn’t been too impressed.

“Golly. You can look like a real virgin.”

“Maria!” I’d glared.

Finally, with much fussing, I’d opted for that amber top, damning her all the while, and a darling leather skirt I’d bought from 5th Avenue once.

Now all that mattered was that I worked up enough nerve to show up in that.

I heaved myself out of the bed, more than refreshed after the quickie nap.

Alex poked his head in. “Golly, mom. What’s that gunk on your face?”

Which one, I wanted to ask, the sea algae, the milk and rosewater or the sandal?

As I splashed my face, I could relate. It was a weird combination of green, white and pink, where my skin actually showed.

After a long shower and a lot of screeching to dry my damn hair, I’d made it to the front of the vanity table.

Now, I still retained a youthful look but no one in their right minds would call me a 26 year old. However, the latest range from all the designer products were lined up in the dresser, ready for the first skirmish.

Agonizing between the dewy or the jaded look, I dithered around. Max’d called earlier, setting a time for 7:30. It was already past 7. I shrieked in frustration as the phone rang again.

“Alex, get the phone, dammit!”

He bounced in a few minutes later, still scrunching his button nose at me. “It’s grandma.”

I nearly died of shock. “Mom! Is everything okay?”

Her voice sounded years lighter. I felt the start of a deep feeling of contentment,. I’d wanted to do this for them forever. She gushed on about how beautiful it was and that the month had gone by like lightning. I agreed. It had fled by too fast.

Then she’d shyly added that with the extra savings account they had, they wanted to invest in an extension, staying on for another 2 months, touring the Pacific. I was thrilled. Roswell had been an enlightening experience and what with my budding romance in 5 years, I wasn’t in any hurry for them to return.

After much gushing and loving laughter, they hung up. Bugger! I had a meager 10 minutes and I wasn’t still bloody dressed!


“Alex!” I shrilled, trying to put on everything in a hurry. My mascara had run a little at the smarting tears while I’d jabbered on with mom. Damn!

Glossing my lips slightly and half-blinded as the eyeliner dried, I groped around for the comb and impaled my hand on a bunch of hairpins.

“Arrrgh!”

“ALEX!” I shouted again. No answer. Damn, double damn!

Cursing at the top of my lungs, I made it out. Still not daring to open my eyes in case the liquid stuck over my lids and make me a candidate for a circus, I groped my way out fo the apartment.

“Where’re you going, Mom?” he asked, somewhere behind me.

I struggled to keep the robe closed and collar him at the same time.

“Siddown.”
Alex let him be propelled onto the bed He sat obediently. I cracked open one lid. The liquid didn’t tingle just above my lid. Phew.

“Look, Tracy’s going to baby-sit you tonight, okay? I’ll be back soon enough. Don’t give her any trouble.”

Damn, would I still be able to pull off that skirt? I’d added quite a few pounds on my ass, the last few days I’d been here.

“Sure.”

“Will you be all right?” How shameful that I needed my five year old’s permission before going on a date.

“Who else is going?" he asked, old enough to be curious but too young to comprehend the dating concept.

‘I’m having dinner with Max. Is that okay?”

He yawned. "God, mom. You have dinner with him every day. Big deal." He bounced on the bed.

“Sit still! You’re ruining my outfit!”

“Sowyy!” he gave a rather gummy smile and went back to bouncing.

“Alex, please, my love. Not now!”

“Okay!”

I ran into the bathroom, trying to squirm into the skirt. So what if it looked a little tight? As long as it fits! I thought wildly, wriggling around like a worm to make it fit. After tucking in my stomach and zipping it up, I whirled out.

“How’s this?”

He peered out from underneath his bangs. “Ew, Mom. You look fat!"

I do not! “I do?”

“Your butt looks like the side of a barn.” I glowered and he smiled cheekily. “Why don’t you wear this?”

Expertly rifling through my wardrobe, he'd found a pair of much loved jeans. It was aged and fit me like a second skin. It was perfect.

Speechlessly I took it from him, wondering how many years of being rectified by my child I’d have to tolerate.

“And the top?" I asked humbly.

He squinted a discerning eye. “I think it looks good.”

I shook my head, running back to the closet and throwing on the clothes.

A knock sounded.

“Alex!” I shouted again, still not dressed.

Just before putting on the amber georgette, my eye fell on a gray one. I wore it one night in sophomore year, when we’d all gone out for ice cream together. It’d hung on me like a scarecrow but fit very nicely now. Hmm...

“Mom. Max’s here.” Alex peeked through the door.

I groaned and bundled myself into the gray one. Why make an idiot myself in the first date?

“How do I look?” I twirled around, anxious for his approval.

Alex regarded me seriously. “You look lovely.”

Aw. I sniffed back a few wayward tears, realizing that this was the first time I’d been out on a date after he was born. A sudden rush emotion clogged my throat. “You’ll be okay?”

He sniffled, apparently thinking the same thing. “I’ll be fine.”

Well, he had to learn sometimes. Right?

“Thank you, love. I’ll be home soon. Call Maria if you need anything.”

I knew Tracy’s family well. So I was satisfied that at least Alex was in good hands.
~~/\~~

John Mayor was crooning, “Your body’s a wonderland” when I made my way downstairs.

People were still milling around, laughing , eating and just hanging out. No one knew how ironic this moment was for me.

As I pushed through the swinging doors, Max turned around. He’d dressed pretty casually, too. But he’d shaved and even from this distance, I could tell that he’d spiffed himself up.

To think that I’ve waited for this day for more than 16 years now. I’d imagined this exact moments so many times, from 16 to 18 to 23. And each time, the vision had blurred more and more, till all that had remained was a pale shadow of Max’s glowing eyes and the roses.

Seeing him there, waiting anxiously and twirling a long stemmed white rose, it was as if my sepia photograph just turned Technicolor. Images, vivid and sharp, whirled behind my irises.

He smiled; that old smile that made me think of desert nights and Venus in the morning sky. What was this dizzy feeling?

“Hey.”

I thought the noise level dropped. I was floating on cotton candy land.

“Hey.”

His eyes traveled downwards. I felt my toes curl. And all this in a public place…

“So, where’re we going?” I approached him

Hesitantly, he reached out and took my hand. I felt a thrill suffuse from that tiny, rusted locked chest in my heart and weaken my knees. “It’s a surprise.”

Our fingers intertwined. The harsh overhead lights dimmed under the onslaught of his glittering eyes.

“Let’s go.”

Any good?

Chapter 16a


His surprise wasn’t anything stupendous. He’d packed us a hamper and we were on our way, somewhere into the desert. I’d asked him but apart from a leer, he hadn’t said much. I wish I’d dared to put on that skirt.


“C’mon, Max!” I pouted. “Gimme a teensy weensy hint.”

“As in itsy bitsy spider?” he slanted me another grin. He’d been smiling all night. Gee, wonder why? Hyuk!

“Well, I did have to learn those.” I didn’t expand. The last thing I wanted was to bring up my marriage, my child and my subsequent plans.

‘Well.” He parked his Chevelle. “We’re here.”

Here happened to be the middle of the freakin’ desert. I didn’t know what to think. Why the secrecy? Was Isabel on his case again? And how dare he let her interfere in it!

“Max?” I asked, not a little peeved. “What’re we doing here?”

He sounded inordinately pleased with himself. “It’s Blue Mountain Canyon. They had the Enigma party back in 2002.”

“You knew of it?”

“I’m not total retard, you know.” He laughed, taking the gear out of the car.

Good thing I’d worn the jeans. My skirt wouldn’t have survived.

But even as I bitched internally, I was beginning to fall captive to inky beauty of the night. The desert wind blew through my hair, loosening the carefully styled up-do into a mangled mess. But it was a balm; the grass swayed across the slope in tune to our footsteps.

I grabbed his empty hand, as he smiled knowingly. This place would do just fine.

“I hope you don’t mind the sand.” He said, after a period of happy, contemplating silence.

“Max, I grew up in the desert. I’m not liable to die if I get sand in my shoes.”

He smirked. “By the way, cute outfit.”

“Cute?” I frowned and he threw back his head.

“Kidding.”

“Okay, then.”

I spread the blanket near a dune, just at the edge of the grass. The night beckoned in it all its velvety glory. It was the perfect setting imaginable.

Max yanked out a small CD player. I smiled; serenading was obviously part of scene. Hee. I watched in delight as small candles and a bottle of sparkling water appeared from the basket.

“Aren’t we allowed something a little more adult?” I nodded towards the water.

He smiled naughtily. “What’s adult for you? Or should I say, adult enough?”

I returned it with equal snaz. “Whatever you’ve got for me.”

His eyes sparkled. “Really?”

I looked away, trying to slow down. “Yeah. Anyways.”

He laughed outright. “Fine, Elizabeth. We’ll do this at your pace.”

My eyebrow hit the hairline. “Uh, excuse me? You were the one who was terrified of kissing!”

“Not terrified,” he amended, "just a tad bit outta touch. Although, I did improve, right?”

He’d have to bring that up.

“You could still use a few um, tutorials.”

He sat up straighter. “I could, huh?”

I batted my eyelashes innocently. “Uh huh.”

His fingers scratched at his chin. I could smell his aftershave. Hmm…isn’t this the part where the girl in the ad always jumps the guy?

“You know what? You’re right, absolutely right. I am lacking in a few essential moves. Care to enlighten me, Professor?”

I snorted. “Down, boy.”

“So about tonight…” he started, but I cut in.

“Max, can we please not rehash the past? There’s nothing that’s relevant.” I glanced down significantly where his hand lay over mine. His gaze followed. "Nothing relevant to now.”

He sighed; it echoed in my heart. “You sure? Seems like a few things are relevant.”

I held my breath. “Like what?”

“Like nothing that I’d bring up now.”

“You’re such a tease!”

This time he smiled for real. “So you keep saying.”

He would have to bring that up! “Um.”

“What were you doing that night, anyway?” he persisted, reveling in my discomfiture, the jerk.

I pushed at his shoulder “Bastard.”

He caught my hand in his, trapping it amidst his big ones. “Yeah, you said that too. Sophomore year. Remembering, we got stuck in the lab?”

Do I ever? It’d been Maria‘s smart ideas, locking the door of the bio lab while we’d been working. That was the first time I’d ever talked to him. We’d sat there, teasing and joking slightly. I remembered the sweet, shy conversation, the stolen looks. So corny, so adorable. It had been my first inkling that Max might’ve had a lurking heart in there after all, a heart capable of doing more than a lame ‘hi.’

“That was the first time.” He said wistfully. I nodded. He continued. “I’d always wanted to say something. Anything. Just to prolong the conversation, so that you wouldn’t think I was a complete dunce. Even if it was just to say ‘Might be. Never did find out.’ And you laughed. You didn’t think I was even capable of joking, right?”

I looked away, ashamed. So he knew.

“It was the perfect chance. And we talked. And I’d obsessed over it for years.”

And it never occurred you to do something more?

But he went on. I realized that he’d wanted to talk about this for a long time too. He’d wanted to share but somehow, that wall had been in place.

“And that girls’ room incident.” He looked at me. “Remember?”

“Hard to forget, Max. I’d been just about to change. Imagine what would’ve happened if you’d walked in a few seconds later.”

He looked like I’d robbed him of something. “Were you? I didn’t know.” Then his ears grew pink.

I reacted without thinking; I climbed on his lap. His breathing hitched.

“Liz??” he stuttered, bug-eyed.

“Relax." I caressed the tiny wrinkles etched in the corners of his eye. "I wasn’t about to attack you.”

“Damn!”

“Easy does it.”

“Aw, you just wanted to hug.” He wrapped me up cozily. Sigh.
~~/\~~

“Max?”

We’d both fallen silent, just stargazing and marveling that after all the years and lost chances, we were finally at this stage.

“Remember graduation?”

He stiffened. “I’d rather not.”

I sat up, facing him. I could see him clearly, awash in the starlight. So candid, so full of feeling. It was hard believing we’d reached this plateau where we were finally allowed to let each other in, at least half way.

“Let’s talk about it for a moment.” I pushed back a lock of windblown, raven hair. Has he any clue how long I’ve waited?

I fell forward as he leaned back, taking my weight with him. Perched on his lap, so close, it would’ve felt awkward, had we not been so in tune with each other. Long strands of dark hair fell over his black shirt, a sharp contrast to his tanned skin. His fingers automatically came up to sift through them. I fought the shivers of need flooding my veins.

“Do you remember it?”

“Does it look like I forgot?” he returned, not so nicely.

“Do you remember any woman? A pretty brunette?”

At that, he met my gaze squarely.

“Yeah, I do. She was the best thing out of Roswell. Ambitious, talented, giving. Never did anything halfway. The envy of every high school kid, because they knew where she was headed. Harvard, the City job, big bucks. And the worst part was that they couldn’t even grudge her that. She’d worked for it all her life."

The silence grew as he paused to inhale. I was robbed of speech.

"The weird thing is that she never had her dreams fulfilled. That lovely, vibrant girl had her heart trampled on, knew what was it was like to fall, to be deceived, to be abandoned."

"And see,” he traced the slight moisture my eye. “that just made her even more desirable, more alluring. Not that she lacked in it, of course. We’re not perfect people but she gave someone hope that maybe, it didn’t matter if things fell off the wayside. She proved that even with faults, you’re capable of loving and being loved, that there is no shame in making honest mistakes. That we’re all human, after all. Even ones who didn’t act like it at times.”

There was a silence reverberating with unvoiced, unsung sacrifices.

“Yeah, I do remember a pretty brunette from 2003.”

I swallowed. No word was forthcoming. I‘d no idea how long I’d waited for those words to release me from the endless recrimination, the fears of failure.

“Oh, Max.”

“It’s all true.” He wiped away the tears that had traced the line of my nose. “If nothing else, believe that.”
~~/\~~


“Do you know how long I’ve waited for redemption?” I asked, after a long silence.

We’d just lay there in each other’s arms, not worrying about the speed with which things seemed to be happening and the limitless joy of being able to confide in each other without any guilt.

"Redemption? God, who talks like that anymore? Liz! What redemption?”

How do I tell him that I’d considered Alex’s illness as God’s way of extracting payment for screwing up my life and my parents’ dream? He’d laugh in my face. I’d never been much of a chest-thumping, never-missing-service, born-again Christian. Didn’t even have much of a faith left. But I’d depended on someone to provide explanations as my life had crumbled slowly, dried up that enthusiasm Max was talking about. If no one else, I’d counted on God. Seems like he’d had hearing problems, too.

“Do you believe in a higher power, Max? A power controlling our fate?”

He scowled so ferociously, I shrank back. “No! I don’t.”

“Well, lately, I felt like there was someone, pulling all the strings. I don’t like feeling helpless.” I didn’t dare confide what I’d been thinking. He’d think I was calling him a freak or something. Typical Max. Taking blame for breathing.

“Alex?” He queried, eyes just a tad bit shadowed.

"Yeah. He’s doing things I’ve never heard other kids doing. He’s far ahead of every kid in the classes two years his senior. Hell, he asked me about the law of averages. We did that in grade 5, for Crissakes!”

Max looked at the ground. “You were always a smart one.”

“Anyway, “ I changed the topic as I sensed his growing unease. He didn’t want me to discuss Alex’s strange behavior and no wonder. I probably made him feel abnormal most of the time.

“About redemption.”

He nodded, still distant. “It’s just that…”

Max glanced up to watch me struggle with the words.

“I’m not perfect, Max. I made my mistakes. Horrible ones. But what you just said…I needed to hear it. I’ve waited for even a semblance of that for so long, that amidst every second I’ve lived in this town, I’ve waited for someone to free me with those words.”

He glared at me. “Why are you doing this? You can’t blame yourself for getting married, Liz. Mistakes happen. Let them make you stronger. Holding on to the past does nothing. You, of all people, should know that.”

I stuck on it stubbornly. “I married him for the wrong reasons. And if I don’t blame myself, there’s always someone there who does.”

He caught the thread of tears in my tone. “Who’s they? They don’t count, Liz! All that matters are you, your folks and your son. No one else should matter.”

I crumpled in his arms. “You matter to me, Max. You matter more than anyone else in the fucking world.”

He buried his face in my neck, kissing the flushed skin there.

I wanted him to know. I needed him to know that whatever that had always sprung up between us was real and that despite my shortcomings, I wasn’t going to turn back on him. There was an ‘us’ and he was going to know that. Yeah, so I pretty much blurted everything out without any semblance of tact, but what the fuck, it’s about damned time!

We held each other for a long while.

“Is this bugging you?” I whispered after a while, face still happily breathing in his scent and enjoying the silk of his shirt against my cheek.

“Liz, I know I’m a little slow but no guy in their right mind would be ‘bugged’ if a woman as beautiful as you straddles their lap.” The husky voice murmured in my ear.

I frowned. Does that make me sound okay?

I got up prudishly, pulling him upright. Pretending not to see his knowing grin.

"Let’s dance.” I bit out, miffed.

The night air rang with his shout of laughter. “Welcome back, darling.”

Phuff!
~~/\~~


“So…” he brushed my hair back, fingers tangling in the dark tresses.

“So.”

“Any plans for Thursday?”

“As in 2 days from today?” I smirked. My, someone’s pretty darned eager.

“Yeah.”

“Damn. I’ve to go to LA.” I told him, already regretting my decision about the job. I revealed what I’d be doing.

“I see. Well, good. I love seeing you every time I set foot in the crash, but that thing can’t be stretching your over-active gray cells, eh?” he tweaked my nose.

Since I merely came up shoulder high, I retaliated to that brotherly (ugh) gesture by kissing the open neck of his shirt. He jumped a foot in the air.

“Jeez! Gimme some warning!”

He needs a warning?

“Ok, ok.” He went on hurriedly, seeing me pout. “Don’t do that, please!”

I looked at him through narrowed eyes. “If you hadn’t given me first-hand proof of your uh, prowess, I’d say you were gay, Evans.”

He frowned. “Why does everyone keep thinking so, dammit? Cuz I don’t sleep around? What, abstinence’s a bad thing now?”

“Honeeey…” I purred, letting my hand do a little bit of frisking. He stiffened and I hid my smirk. He’s really not all that strong. “Don’t get all worked up.”

“Who are you and what’ve you done with my sarcastic, hard-bitten, something-up-her-ass Liz?”

His Liz. YAY!

“She was putting on that I’m-so-hard-done-by routine too much. I told her you weren’t interested.”

He slanted me a jaded glance, looking like something out of Mount Olympus. “Now why did you go and do something like that? I loved her, faults and all.”

LOVED!! My brain screeched to a shrieking, semi-coherent stop.

I stopped moving. “What?”

He smiled and neatly sidestepped the question. “C’mon, Liz. It can’t be news to you.”

Did he just say what I think he said?!!!

“Max…”

Before I could expand, he whirled me around as we danced to Gomez. See, my head wasn’t functioning anymore. Those energetic little gray cells had erupted into a mass of gibbering, delirious gunk. I had no thinking power. He loved me!

"Why Zan?” Max asked, satisfied at my total, dazed silence.

“Why not Zan?” I rejoined but my heart was leaping all over the place, screaming that I’d chosen Zan since I couldn’t have him. Calm down, retard!

He nodded. “Fair enough.”

I took in a deep breath. “Where’s Tess?”

He said the last thing I ever expected. “She’s dead.”


Tbc....


Now, now...calm down folks. Hope ya'll liked the date. There's plenty more left, btw. Update tomorrow.

Love,
Sarah

This part is coming with an extra strong rating 'R'. For what...you'll see later on.

Okies, recap....

I took in a deep breath. “Where’s Tess?"

He said the last thing I ever expected. “She’s dead.”

Tbc....

Chapter 16b.


What?” I whispered, aghast. “How?”

He aged a few years in front of my eyes. The youthful, alive look in his eyes died a glittering, sudden death. An opaque shield, one I knew of old, fell in place. Damn him.

“Years ago. Car accident.”

“Just like Alex.” I murmured.

Max went absolutely still, as if that thought hadn’t ever occurred to him.

“Yeah.” There was such malevolence in his voice that I looked up in alarm. “Pretty similar.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? And where did this happen?”

He exhaled mightily. “Somewhere in Arizona. Copper Summit.”

“Congresswoman Whittaker??” I asked, jaw dropping in shock.

“Don’t be silly. That woman died while you still lived here. Nah, it was speeding. Break shoe was rusty and she couldn’t make it stop. She died.” I f I didn’t know better, I’d say Max had just given into his first bout of human pettiness. There was cruelty carved in his tone. “Too bad.”

I nodded, my head moving against his chest. As much as I’d wished the girl would just turn into dust, I’d never wanted her dead.

“So, what happened between you guys?”

He was wary again, careful of spoors. I just don’t know why. “Nothing. She was new, came to town. Became Isabel’s friend.” There was a carefully concealed sneer. “End of story.”

“Max, she always hung out with you.” I poked his scrumptious abs. Abs I’d rather be exploring than talking about a dead skank. Shit, that was awful of me.

“She always bugged me." he growled.

Then, obviously realizing he’d said too much, he rubbed the small of my back. I settled back in deeper, if that was possible. Tess could go to hell for all I care. Gawd, that sounds so bitchy! She’s dead, for cryin’ out loud!

“Tell me about NY. What was it like?”

“Nothing nearly as wonderful as Zan had proclaimed it to be. Dark, scary, mangy. Funny thing is that I miss it now. The anonymity in the streets, the skyscrapers, the excitement…so nondescript.”

“That sounds more like the Liz I know." He sighed approvingly in my hair. What was it with him and my hair?

“Tell me about your life, Max. You never did talk much about things. It was always about me. How the hell did you stand that for what, 10 years, straight?” I frowned. It was true; he’d never stopped me from gabbing about myself, or rather, me and Zan.

“My life’s dull compared to yours.” He brushed it off but gave up at my beseeching look ala Alex Hunter. Hyuk!

“Fine! After graduation, I landed in UCB. You know that. And from there it was John Hopkins. And now I’m back here.”

“CGPA? Girlfriend? Fine! Lover?” I amended off his wry look.

“4.0 and no girlfriends.”

“Lovers?” I persisted, like a leech. “Please don’t tell me you’re a virgin, Max. I’ll die right here in your arms.”

He tightened his hold on me. “You do that, I’ll dig you up from your grave and kill you all over again. You don’t die on me. Ever.”

“We’re humans, Max. We’re supposed to die.” But god, every time I think he can’t get any better, he does it again.

He stopped dancing. “Isn’t it late?”

I sighed dramatically. After all, being Maria’s best friend, I’d learn something by now. “God Max, what’re you, twelve years old? Have a curfew?”

He laid a restrictive hand on my neck. “It is late and you’ll be yammering to go home soon to tuck in your baby. And I wouldn’t get what I brought you out here for.”

I squirmed with pleasure. Now, that’s more like it.

“Had something in mind?”

“Yeah, “ he whispered, lifting the hair off my neck, nibbling gently, making me clutch at his shirt for support.

The CD player crooned and I felt myself faling in love.

Find me here
Speak to me

“let me” he said quietly, taking handful of my strands and running his fingers down, setting my nerve endings on fire.

I want to feel you
I need to hear you

“You’ve no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment. When I could touch you the way I’ve always wanted to without wronging anyone. “

You are the light
That is leading me to the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength that keeps me walking
You are the hope that keeps me trusting
You are the life to my soul
You are my purpose
You are everything

I moved as he did, not kissing, but doing so much more. Moisture stung my eyes, making it hard to breathe as he kept up the pressure on my neck. His hands shifted restlessly up and down my sides, as I continued to cling to him.

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Can you tell me how could it be any better than this

His mouth moved off my neck to the shadowy triangle where my pulse rested. I felt it buck under his lips, not even caring at how desperate I seemed. And then it happened. I worked up enough guts to explore. The buttons rippled open in my clawed fists, as his warm lips contined up the journey to the sensitive skin behind my ear.

You calm the storms
You give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall

I buckled and started falling back on the blanket. Steady hands still corded from desire, caught me, took me in, led me down. I felt like I was drowning in the banked fires in his eyes.

You steal my heart and you take my breath away
Would you take me in
Would you take me deeper now
'Cause you're all I want
You are all I need
You are everything, everything

And we were on the desert sand, him rising like a dark spectre over me. I’d never wanted someone so much.

“Max.” I thought it was a scream but he seemed to be having equal trouble listening.

“What?” And I was having equal trouble hearing him.

“Don’t…”

And then his lips moved in on mine. I opened up, as much as possible, trying to control my overpowering desire but not being able to as his mouth slanted over mine- plundering, demanding, carnal. Last thing I was going to do was stop.

"Oh, god!” I mumbled as he broke lose for a second, trying to breathe. “Oh my fucking god..”

“Stop saying that!” he hissed, already ravishing the sensitive corners of my mouth. I felt myself fall further. Funny. I was already on the ground.

And the freakiest thing happened. I started seeing things.


I was walking down WRH hall. The lockers came into view. My breathing hitched, heart thudded. I was gazing with inner rapture at my old self, still joking and smiling with Maria over the latest school gossip. I never looked my way, never realised the way someone had been looking at me. Never got an inkling of the longing in that gaze, the pain as I crossed my younger self by, still gazing, entranced and haunted. And then it happened. I broke away. I was gone.

“Max!!” I moaned, still in shock. What the fuck???? He hadn’t heard. The third kiss was unfurling, heated with pent-up desires.

The world went black again.

Run, dammit!
Someone was screaming in my head. I felt the sound bite in my skin, catching a visceral grip on my fear and propelling me forward. I ran, faster than ever.
I didn’t recognize the place but a hazy street sign told me this was the UCB campus. I was racing around like a freak, trying to hide from the suffocating night. A person stepped up to me, blocking my path. And I did the strangest thing. I threw up a green, flickering web from the palm of my hand.

Before I could react, I was thrown a good 10 feet way.

Speechless with fear and curiosity, I gaped wide-eyed as I sat, feet splayed in front of me, 10 feet away from Max. He was still on the blanket. Heaving, trying to catch his breath and looking about frantically.

“Oh my god. Oh my god.” He kept muttering incoherently.

God ain’t gonna help you!

“Max,” I panted, trying to breathe through my frozen respiratory organs. “What the hell happened?”

He looked up. For a second, it was almost like I was back in that dream – cornered and frightened. I’d have drawn on that similarity if I, myself, hadn’t had the living bejesuses scared out of me.

“What am I doing here?" I asked, still shaking.

He heaved. “I don’t know.”

I couldn’t hear the pained whisper. Now what’s wrong with him?

“Max!” I sulked, not happy to be 10 feet away from such a passionate kiss. “What went wrong? Why’d you…stop?”

Gulping, he didn’t meet my eyes. There was resignation in his face, something that scared me. I’d have brought it up if, in the next instant, I didn’t feel like killing him.

“I…you…you were getting umm…”

“Huh?" I screeched, unable to believe where this was heading. “YOU THREW ME OFF???”

He nodded meekly, head still down.

I fell back on my haunches. I was too stunned to talk. What could I say, after that admission?

“You sonofabitch!”

He winced. “Liz, it’s…”

“Shut the fuck up!” I snarled out, stinging under the humiliation. “You!!…After everything you said….oooooh!!!”

I hurled myself off the ground and stalked forward.

I could hear the plaintive sighs from the back but red all around my mind was making anything else impossible to register.

“Take me home.” I bit out viciously, leaning against the hood.
Before he could voice a protest. “NOW!”

Hurriedly, he started the engine.

Bastard. BASTARD. I settled back, sitting as far away as I could from his apologetic, lame-ass self.

If things had gone a bit smoother and f I hadn’t still been reeling under his kisses and those weird visions, maybe I’d have been more rational. Calmer. In control. But everything was swirling in a dizzy haze. As much as I wanted to understand, no excuse, none, was going to salvage this night.

We came to a silent standstill in front of the Crash. It was a meager 11 o’ clock. Customers still milled around. Behind the counter, I could see Michael flipping the last burger.

Before Max could open his mouth, I was out of the car, the force behind the door slam ferocious. Fleeing into the Crash and banging everything in my way, I made a violent exit.

As I crashed through the doors, I heard Michael ask “What the fuck? Is she in heat or what?”

Thundering up the stairs, I just barely made out Max’s pathetic reply. “It’s my fault, Mike. God, I should just die.”

take it with a boulder of salt, folks. No, really, I don't hate Max. Assuming I still have readers left, lemme know how it goes.
Sarah

Chapter 17

I dreamt of Zan. Of all the days…. Like he knew that day my life had turned just a little bit brighter, he’d sent a whisper my way, shattering even the remainder of that.

No, no. I don’t feel that much for him that just a dream would ruin me; rather, it was what was in the dream that literally had me packing bags.

The night shed tears under its starry veil. I felt them fall on my heated skin. I was out on the middle of nowhere, watching a scene of my past. The rain fell, welcome, cleansing, bringing freedom in every sparkling drop.

Alex and a younger version of me sharing his first bath alone. Michael had finally left us and we were in the big tub, full of bubbles. His tiny fists splashed in the water, feet already churning in eager anticipation. I watched as younger Liz laughed with joy, angry tears forming at the edge of the dark irises. I knew what was going through her head. She was hurt. She was in love. And she wanted someone’s heart out in a platter in front of her. Unbelievable combination.

He wailed mightily, spilling water on the troubled mother. She forgot all about the pain and concentrated on the tiny bundle in her arms. Then his eyes opened. Green eyes, already a captivating shade of jade and speckled with brandy, gazed at her. And I felt her falling in love all over again.

‘Hey, little baby.”

The infant stared at her dumbly. Helpless, had it not been for her strong arms.

“I’m your momma.”

He kept gazing into her eyes, watching the tears wet the dark honey there.

I felt her sigh. “You’re not alone. You’ll never be alone. Ever. You’ll always have me.”

He gurgled; something about her voice soothed him, even though the water swirled around them violently.

She smiled through her tears. “Yeah. You’re not helpless. You’re not weak. You’re not unloved. I’ll give you everything but on one condition; promise me you’ll love me most. Promise me that no matter what, you won’t turn your back on me. I couldn’t take it. ”

As she spoke, the water surged forward, upsetting her balance. She swayed. The child screamed in terror, as he felt himself tilt. I watched as she struggled for balance, keeping the baby above the water even as she slipped and fell. Her head banged against the edge of the tub, the water up to her face. In her private moment of hell, she’d never even noticed when the level had risen so high.

Alex, safe and steady, cooed at his mother as she winced.

She got her balance back. Rose to the surface. Patted her son’s flushed cheeks. The eyes were still trained on her face. A gummy smile formed.

She wanted to brush away her tears; take a better memory of her son’s wide-eyed gaze. A tiny hand flailed in the air.

She brought him closer. Moisture seeped through on his pink, soft skin. He squealed. And then, the hand raised itself tentatively on her face. She held absolutely still. Velvety skin brushed past her wet one. Little paws swiped away the film from her eyes. His munchkin face scrunched up with tears as hers didn’t cease.

Liz gave into the sobs racking her frame. They understood each other. If nothing else, she could always count on her son for salvation.

And I kept watching, remembering the way the water had smelled, the taste of salt on my lips. I knew all of it. I’d been there once. And then Zan showed up.

I gazed at him in shock. He was the one thing that wasn’t supposed to intrude on this special moment between a lost mother and her child. No way in hell.

‘You’re not welcome here.” It felt weird talking to him. I hadn’t even recalled his face in years and the he was in my face, like an apparition, bringing back my darkest days.

“I see him every day.” He replied. “I watch him on his way to school. I watch him play ball. I’m not a stranger.”

“How dare you!” it was even weird accusing him in my dreams. Then again, this was the only chance I’d get to tell him what I thought of him.

“I dare plenty.” He sighed, still wearing that freaky tattoo and his habitual smirk.

“Look, Zan! I don’t know what this is! Probably a backlash of last night, my own dream-induced stupor but could you please just disappear? I’m trying to have a moment with my son.”

“Liz. Look at me.”

“I’d rather not. Homicide ain’t my first priority. Someone needs to stay clean for Alex.”
I hinted darkly, not daring to look at him, even in my sleep. Zan had often had that effect on me.

‘Look at me, dammit!”

And I had. Same face, same unforgettable face. It embodied all that I wanted and all that I lost. Goddamn him.

“It’s not safe here.” He whispered.

“Why? You coming to town anytime soon?” I barbed back, happy to be letting him have it, venting a little of my rage at him, even thought it was just a dream.

‘It’s just not safe.”

He faded from view. The urgency remained.

At that moment, younger Liz playing with Alex dropped him. My baby fell, whirling through the water, like a shard of glass. I watched in horror as his unprotected head came into contact with the hard ceramic.

I woke up, heart pounding.

“Alex!!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. “Where the hell are you??”

It was bright morning And then it hit me…it was my turn to open the Crash, I’d probably overshot it by two hours. Dammit!

Racing into the bathroom and coming out in 5 minutes, ablutions complete and nerves somewhat settled, I hurtled downstairs.

Banging the door open, I screeched to an untimely stop.

The Crash was open, all right. Breakfast customers even sat at booth, cooing over the coffee. Who the hell…?

Old Mrs. Kirkendall waved me over. She’d been a regular since I was 3. “Oh, Liz, honey… your boy is just so precious.”

I smiled brightly. And then it all turned black. Alex opened in the morning??

"Umm…” I stammered, unable to talk. I’d just caught sight of my ‘precious’ making coffee and peddling it out to the bowled-over customers.

‘I’ll take it from here!” I barked, glaring at him.

He shot me an annoyed look. “Mom! I was doing it fine…”

‘You’re not to touch the stove! You know that!”

He rubbed my tummy. “Sorry, momma. But you weren’t waking up when I knocked earlier. And your room stank.”

So I’d indulged in a drinking spree. You would, too. If your best friend in the whole world proclaimed his love and then complained that you were moving too fast too soon, all in one night. You'd have drunk an entire barrel.

“No excuses, Alex! I won’t have you disobeying me!” Especially in recent turn of events. If the idea hadn’t been so stupid, I’d have said that Zan’s shocking appearance in my dream was an omen of things to come. Nah…too ridiculous.

“Mom, could I serve them?” he looked greedily as the morning supplies came in.

Jose grinned from behind the counter. “Here, son.” A fresh Danish got tossed into his grubby paws.

‘Where’s Michael?” I asked.

Jose shrugged. “Today, he works the afternoon shift, remember?”

“Right.”

Probably sleeping off an endless night of hot sex. The thought made my already rotten mood, worse.

The day hasn’t even started and it already bites. I bit back a curse as Alex leapt in my way, nearly jarring the heavy tray.

“Watch it!” I hissed at him as he continued to polish a tabletop vigorously, His hair hadn’t been brushed; it stuck up on ends, looking like a baby clown.

“Sowwy!”

His latest tick obviously. Too bad it worked, too. I blew him a grudging kiss and went on to my job. Serving the early morning customers brought back the memories of me toddling behind Jeff as he smiled at the people in the booths. Such a pleasant, soothing portrait. Hum dee da dum.

The door banged open. It just had to be now, huh?

Maria came charging in. “Just a quick coffee, Jose. I’ve got a recording in Santa Fe by lunch.”

She made a beeline for me as I tried to escape.

“Well??” She shrieked. “What happened?”

I winced. “Not something you’ll believe.”

She snorted. “Try me. I had the most unbelievable night.”

I stopped. “Alex, take over for me. Give the slips to Kathy, k?”

He saluted me and toddled in front of an adoring Kathy.

Taking two cups of java for both of us, I led the way to a corner booth.

“You go first.”

She snorted again. “It’s nothing you’ll believe, anyway. I’d rather say later. You probably had a better night.” She eyed me shrewdly. “Spill, girlfriend.”

I sighed into. She’d kill Max if she knew. “He said he loved me.”

Her cup dropped from her hand and shattered into a million pieces.

“He…did??” She gasped. “Omigod, Lizzieee!!” Squealing, she stared at me bright-eyed.

“We were kissing, Maria…” and the words just wouldn’t stop. “It was make-out mania and then…”

I heaved, still stinging. She glared at me to continue.

“So we were all over each other. By the way, he’s unbelievable. Un-frickin-believable.”

“Oooh!!”

“Yeah. And then I started seeing things…”

She snorted. “Please! Please! What exactly did you see??”

I thought about telling her. It was so unreal, so ridiculous, that I found no words. I mean, how the hell do I see inside his head, for god’s sake? I probably dreamt it all up!

I gaped. “Stars.” There! That seemed the least damaging.

She threw back her head and howled.

“AND???”

“This part you won’t believe! He threw me off.”

She gaped at me. Speechless. “He did…what?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah.”

“WHAT DID HE FUCKING DO???”

“Shh…” I hissed, glancing around.

She settled back, still non-comprehending. “He actually…?? Why would he do that?”

“Dunno. Beats me. Beats the living bejesuses outta me.”

We regarded each other’s shocked faces.

“I hope you kneed him where it hurts.” Maria muttered, after a while.

“I wish I had,” I sulked. I really wish I had.


The door jingled open again.

I looked up, right into a determined, tense face.

Max.

Maria sneered. “Well, well, well.”

“You told her?” I’d be almost guilty at his hurt tone had I not known the cause.

“Yeah. Did you really expect me to deal with this by myself?”

He said nothing.

“Exactly. Because after last night, after everything you said… the fact that you’d…” I trailed off.

“Liz.”

“Let me by!” I brushed past him, still too furious to be coherent. God, I couldn’t think about it without getting all riled up. And to think that I actually saw things! I must be going mental.

I’d made it as far as the stairs before he yanked me around.

There was guilt written all over his face.

I felt a twinge of sympathy, despite the banshee in my brain, screeching to let him have it.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry??? Do better than that!”

“It wasn’t like that, Liz! I…I...” he looked around, obviously dying to get out of here.

“You slipped? Accidentally threw me 13 feet off you? God, Max!!” I glared at him. “Have you any idea how lame you sound??”

“Look! It wasn’t you. It was me!”

“Now what?”

‘Liz, I can’t explain it. You’ll never believe it anyway.”

Yeah I can. Try explaining the things I saw.

“Forget it, Max.”

“What? No!” He whirled me around again. I found myself pinned against desperate eyes. “Last night was entirely my fault. It’d nothing to do with you. Absolutely nothing. I’m not going to give you some shitty excuses but just know this. I didn’t regret ANYHTING that we did,” he hurried to finish of my enraged croak, “apart from the last few seconds. That, I can’t even explain to you how much I regret.”

I felt that familiar, tired sensation crawl through me. “Just go, Max. I don’t what to talk to you now because, despite everything said and bloody well done, I’d rather not attend your funeral.”

He caught my arm as I tried to escape. Still now, frissions of white-hot pleasure shot through me as the grip gentled.

“Liz, I didn’t lie last night. Every word I said, no matter how smarmy they seem now, was true. I could never lie to you. You know that.”

I shook my head, still unwilling to succumb.

He took a gentle hold of my chin. “Give me just one chance.”

I finally raised my eyes to his. They were all soft, entreating, Harlequin novel stuff. Genuine, no less.

“Last.” I warned him.

He exhaled gratefully. “Oh, love, thank you.” At the heartfelt admission, I let him enfold me in his arms. He actually sounded like I’d refuse! How dense is he?

I felt his chin shift, buried in the hair at my crown. “How can I make it up to you?”

“Like I said. By leaving.”

“You don’t mean that.” His lazy smiled drugged my senses. I felt myself close to blackout again. I wanted to kill him and ravish him till he saw stars, all at the same time. God, did I accidentally sniff something??

“Try me, sunshine.”

“I’ll do you one better. I’ll prove it.” With that, he took my mouth. Gentle. Sweet. Tender. This was Max to the core. I smiled grudgingly against his tiny nibbles on my lower lip. He felt it. Tasted it. Encouraged it. Made me feel like I was falling again.

“Oh, baby.” He breathed lightly in my ear, lips brushing the hairline. Shivers roiled through me. Breathing became a tad bit more difficult. His hands slipped under the old t-shirt. I wanted to stop him. Pride demanded I knee him and walk away. Ok, fine! At least leave him hanging. Not let him paw me with my son not more than 20 feet away!

His mouth was on the back of my neck again, evoking heat from the deepest part of me.

“Not here, Max.” I gasped.

He bit the soft skin here, delighting the way I arched back. “Do you believe me now?”

I hung on by the barest thread. “Nope.”

He laughed, the look in his eyes igniting. “Guess I’ll have to do better than that, huh?”

As his hands slipped up further, gently kneading the warm skin on my stomach, his lips wreaked havoc on mine. Just a bit longer…then maybe, my catapulting won’t be so wrong.

“Umm…” I managed as his tongue sought entry.

Whoa!! Hold on a bit. Oh, who am I kidding? YES!

I returned his challenge with equal fervor. He moaned against my mouth as I let my fingernails scratch at the exposed skin on his shirt opening.

And then I stepped back.

He looked wounded. “Not fair.”

“Exactly what you deserve.”

He grinned cheekily as Maria burst in. She regarded us in turn.

“Glad to see you have the tiniest resemblance of balls, Max.”

“Your wit never ceases to amaze me. The presence of them, I mean.”

"Guys, stop.” I smiled, lips still puffy from all that kissing. I brought up a finger to inspect them but halfway through, they stopped off Max’s feral gaze. His eyes deliberately slowed on my face. On my lips. Golly, I could almost feel them on me.

Maria took another glance and hurried out.

Before Max could move forward, I backed off. “Don’t even think it!”

“God, you’re just…” he smiled at my blush.

He came forward. Took my face in his large hands. I felt a memory flash of so long ago. Zan. Totally opposite ends of the stick. And then it happened. Things flew behind my irises.

“Please don’t.”

The roar didn’t cease. I felt it come behind me, I was on the edge of a ravine. “You did it. You murderous bitch.” Waiting, as if, for the final push that would sent me off it.

“Please?” It came again. It was feminine voice, screaming in my head.
And then it happened. I fell off.

“NO!!”

I’d just killed someone.

I leapt away from him. How could I tell him that apparently Alex‘s blood disorder came from me too? How else does someone explain this? I was literally seeing things that didn’t exist.

Max gasped. “You okay?”

“Fine.” I sat down weakly. My legs couldn’t support my weight. Before I could fall, he’d caught me again. “Shhh…what’s wrong?”

See? It’s just me. He’s evidently fine!

“Max, I think I caught some of that blood disorder.” I gulped at his stunned face.
“I keep seeing things. Just the way Alex described them.”

He swallowed. Hard. His look wasn’t pleasant. It was scared shitless.

“What did you see?”

“I see…” I couldn’t tell him. I saw things that didn’t make any sense. How could I tell him anything without it sounding totally ridiculous. I couldn’t even explain it to myself; I could barely fathom it.

“I don’t know.” I finished. “They disappear before I can get a handle on them, realize what I’m seeing. I feel things.”

He plopped down on the floor, still in shock. “This can’t be.”

“What?” I pounced on it. “What can’t be?”

He got up painfully. The look on his face screamed that this would be the toughest thing he’d ever do.

“Liz, what’re you saying? You can’t see things. It’s impossible.”

I waited, head whirling. Was I losing it? Who’d take care of Alex?

He drew in a shattered breath. “Are these hallucinations? You can’t see things. I don’t know what else to say…”

Neither do I. After going through practically every kind of shit life had to offer, I‘m going mad. Now, of all times.
~~/\~~


I lay on my bed. It was late and all day, I’d gotten the same look of unbearable guilt on his face. Max was hiding something from me. But what?? What is it, that is so unmentionable, that he pales every time I bring it up? What earthly explanation is there for such a vitriolic reaction? None at all. No matter how crazy it makes me seem, Max is the last person on earth who’d be frightened. He’s a fucking scientist! He’s seen much worse!

The door opened. I turned to see Maria’s strained face.

“Liz, are you okay? All day…you’ve been so preoccupied.”

I wanted to tell her. I wanted to be able to open up. For some weird reason, I held back. Unnatural, that there is a sixth sense in me, screaming that something’s not safe. Funny how one secret had led to so many lies.

“It’s nothing. How about you?” I asked, pausing at the way tears filled her eyes.

She sobbed as I watched in alarm. “God…I’m so happy that you and Max got back…” sob “I can’t believe the nerve…” hiccup…”You won’t believe…” sob “Oh, Liz!”
With that, she hurled herself at me, grabbing me in a bear hug.

I clutched her harder. Now what disaster has befallen us?

“He broke up, didn’t he?” I was stunned at my own clarity. I knew for a fact that Michael had broken it off with Maria yet again.

She nodded, still soaking my shirt. I felt rage starting to build in waves. Just who the hell do they think they are?

“Why?”

“Liz, I had the best night of my life! We didn’t even have sex more than once!”

I winced; way too much info.

She wept on, tears slurring her words. “Best part was that I was finally able to stop him from treating everything like it was a joke. He’d stopped that whole bite-me-I’m-here-to-piss-you-off for at least last night. And then I just…I don’t know.” She hiccupped again, raising tormented eyes towards my own icy ones.

“What happened?”

“Liz, when we were…umm, the …”

“Point of culmination.” I supplied, fighting back a grim smile.

She looked sheepish. “Yeah, um…I literally burned. I mean…I glowed….”

Glowed?

I stared at her in shock. “What the hell are you talking about?”

She started crying again, her pain making my own her ache. It’s not fair!

“I don’t know, Liz. What sort of a freak am I? I told him that. He saw. He freaked.”

“He freaked?? HIM??” I bellowed. Sonofabitch!

She nodded miserably. “He pretty much drove me back to my place.”

I saw black.

“He thinks I’m…demented. I’m sure of it. He’s thought that for years.”

Ok, OKAY… far enough.

“Right.” I drew in sharply. “Listen to me, Maria.”

She looked up. I could see my violent tone had her attention.

“Did you see anything? Feel dizzy? Black out?”

“No, yes, yes.”

Bingo! “The lying son of abitch!” I hissed.

Maria looked confused. “Huh?”

I turned to her. “I don’t know much, Maria. All I know is that they all have this genetic disorder that creates hallucinations. And then they have the nerve to blame us! And the exact thing happened to Max and me last night! I saw things, Maria. Literally felt, saw, lived through a damn figment of someone else’s memory. How does that sound?”

“Demented.” She replied, still looking freaked out.

“See? The same thing happened with Michael. You got him to open up and bam!”

“But it doesn’t make sense!” She cried, pacing up and down. “What the hell does it mean?”

“That’s what we’re going to figure out! I’m tired of being shut out of his life!” I slammed a fist down on the mahogany dresser. “I’d have walked away if it hadn’t involved Alex but too bad, I’m in it now! I can’t believe that they just can’t tell us!! You’d think we were worthy of their trust by now!”

My eyes held the same wounds as hers.

Maria heaved in a gust of air. “What do we do?”

“Surveillance. We stay on our toes. But first off, we go and ask them. I’m giving them their last friggin’ chance!” I spat out; the anger and confusion of the last few days released from my system with jet propulsion. I wasn’t in a mood for soothing pep talks.

“Right!” Maria snarled. Her green eyes came alive again, sparkling at the thought of dueling it out with Michael.

I shook my head. I didn’t want to have to fight Max but I would, if that’s what it would take.

Things were falling in to a pattern. I was seeing stuff I didn’t want to believe but had no other choice. Too much had gone down for me to be disjointed from him. Coupled with Zan’s very cryptic warning (don’t ask me how and why I even consider that dream real!) and that incident with the intruder, my alert was cranked up to 15. This was no time for small measures. I loved him too damned much to sit back and watch everything fall apart.
And that hidden instinct in me was screaming that it would, unless I do something.

I dialed his cell. He picked up on the third ring, sounding tired and worried.

“Where are you?”

He sighed. Sounds were beginning to filter through. He was on the road. I was about to ask when he lied. “I’m home. Going out. Is it important?”

I glared at Maria to keep silent. She did, noting my every move. “Not at all. Going where?”

Another rumble. Definitely the highway. “I’m uh, just going to my office to pick up some stuff. Why? Is something wrong? Is it Alex?”

Always that question. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Alex was some sort of crown prince the way all of them keep asking his whereabouts. And still things were whirring. Why was he lying? Again?

And then I heard the tiniest whisper. It was Michael, whispering about having someone in their sights. I didn’t wait further.

“It’s ok, Max. We’ll talk after you’re back.”

He sounded strained. “Liz, I won’t be back for a few days. You see, Michael and I, we’re…”

Eloping? I wanted to say but bit my tongue.

“We’re going to um...away, for a few days. There are some things I need to settle. Is it really that important? You can’t ask Isabel?”

Yeah, right. “Not a problem. Take care of yourself.”

I think some of my worry bled through. I felt him smile, before I actually heard it. And it scared the daylights out of me because he was nowhere in sight. How’d I know that???

“You too, Lizzie.” The last two came out in a near whisper. Lizzie?? I slammed the phone down.

Maria pounced on my frown. “Well?”

“Wait.” I dialed Kyle’s number. “Kyle, can you see check with radio patrol and give me any links if Max’s crossed state lines?”

“Liz???”

“Now, please.”

He called back within minutes. “Yep. He did. Headed into Nevada.”

Nevada? Nevada as in Las Vegas??? As in Elvis, world-famous central for gambling and almost every other vice in this world, as well as millions of justices of peace, practically in every city corner?

“LAS VEGAS??”

Maria shrieked. I paled. After all this time, they suddenly decided females weren’t for them? Could that possibly be an explanation? Or is it more of this secret he protects? Very probably. But no way in hell am I sitting back and letting him take the reins again. Not again. Not this time.

“Right! We’re going.” With that, Maria and I raced out, stopping only to pick up a snoring Alex and a few provisions.

Tires screeching, we zoomed across towards Nevada, only praying we could reach them first and change their minds.

“Oh my god, my god….” Maria kept chanting as she held Alex. I could see the horror as clearly as I felt it rise in my throat. It couldn’t be! But every indication was that it was headed in that direction.

The heavens opened up on us as we raced through state lines, like the wrath of gods. It was an omen.


Well, what do you think? Could Max and Micahel possibly be getting hitched? On top of that, there's Zan. There was actually a lot of stuff in this part that will be revlevant later. Lemme know how it goes.

Thanks once again for the awesome feedback.
love,
Sarah