Chapter Ten
Nancy glanced over at her husband as he drove and didn’t miss the grim expression on his face.
“Jeff, please don’t cause any trouble tonight. I know you still have issues with Max but Liz isn’t a child. You have to let her live her life,” Nancy said quietly. She was worried about this evening, having Max and Jeff in the same room for several hours, was risky at best.
“I know that but she is my child. I can’t help but have an opinion,” Jeff responded glancing over at his wife briefly. “Doesn’t mean I’m going to voice it. Look, my problem isn’t even Max.”
Nancy just stared at him not believing that at all. No one was good enough for his Liz but that was doubly true when it came to Max.
“If Liz were happy I wouldn’t have a problem at all but she’s not. I know what happy looks like. You can’t argue that point. That’s all I want for her. It’s been almost four years and nothing’s changed. If he can’t make her happy I want her to get away from him. Now, not in ten years,” Jeff continued gripping the steering wheel tightly.
“She loves him,” Nancy said simply. “It’s not that simple. She’s got the twins to consider and you know she doesn’t put herself first very often,” Nancy sighed picking at a lose thread on her skirt. “Don’t push her away by attacking him. I’m looking forward to having them all close.”
“I’m not going to attack him,” Jeff protested. “I’m just saying that Liz’s wellbeing is my first concern. She can’t live her life for everyone else all the time. She’s only twenty! She can’t even drink yet but she’s been supporting her family for more then two years. Maybe if she were happy Noah and Erin would be happier too. Whether Max lived with them or not. She’s just so….”
“You,” Nancy broke in with a smile. “She’s so much like you. She loves you so much Jeff. Don’t you see that? When you treat Max like the enemy you’re putting her in a defensive position. She sees it as you judging her and her choices. She wants you to be proud of her and just love her. No matter if you agree with everything she’s doing or not. She’s afraid of disappointing you and you’re adding more pressure by being the way you are with Max. She wants to live up to all those expectations you talked to her about while she was growing up. Putting that Harvard poster over her bed and reading to her about the campus as a bedtime story……Just tell her that you’re not disappointed in her and let her sort things out for herself.”
Jeff felt his eyes sting and blinked as he came to a stop at the red light. Nancy leaned over and patted his thigh leaving her hand there as they pulled away from the light. Her husband was a good man even if he was a bit stubborn. Her daughter shared that trait in spades. Sometimes over the years she had felt like an outsider looking in at the great relationship between them. She didn’t want to see that relationship unravel. Not when they both needed it so much.
Still staring sightlessly at the mound of vegetables in front of her Liz jumped when the front doorbell rang. Setting down the knife she wiped her hands on her thighs and went to answer the door.
“Mom! Dad! What are you doing here? So early and everything,” Liz asked glancing over shoulder looking for Max. She wasn’t ready. Things weren’t perfect yet and Max wasn’t dressed.
“I thought you could maybe use some help getting dinner ready and if I didn’t drag your father away from the grill he’d have missed dinner all together when the dinner rush started,” Nancy answered as she walked in.
“I wouldn’t miss this,” Jeff said, as he looked Liz over, frowning slightly when he saw her red eyes.
Liz smiled nervously and ran her hands down the sides of her legs. She wasn’t ready for this. She hadn’t had the time to gather herself.
“Hi, Honey,” Jeff said and leaned in to hug her. His concern was only heightened by how tightly she hugged him back. He released her slowly and searched her eyes. “What is it?”
“Just a minor scare with Erin. She umm she healed a dog at the park,” Liz said providing a convenient believable answer for her rattled behavior. “It’s fine though. They’re on the way home now.”
“Liz? Have you seen my green cargo pants?” Max called from the bedroom.
“Ahhh,” Liz stumbled as her father’s eyes narrowed and a frown line appeared between his eyes. “I better….umm I’ll be…right back. Just make yourselves comfortable.”
“Liz?” Max called again louder.
“Coming!” Liz yelled feeling flustered. Turning back to her parents she tried to smile. “He can’t find anything. I’ll be right back.”
Nancy watched her dash down the hall and sighed. This wasn’t starting off very well.
“Li…” Max started but stopped as Liz darted into the room.
“Shhhh,” Liz said and shut the door. “My parents are here.”
“What?” Max squeaked glancing over at the bed. It was a mess. Oh shit.
“Just….put on anything,” Liz said walking over the closet and throwing open the door. “Here! These are good,” Liz said and tossed him a pair of pants.
Max caught them and hopped around on one leg as he tried to put them on. “I thought we said six.”
“We did,” Liz answered combing her hair back with her fingers. “They’re early.”
“Great,” Max said tugging his pants up.
Liz hurried to the bed and started trying to straighten it. “It’s okay. We can handle this. The kids will be here in a couple of minutes and….shit!”
“What?” Max asked zipping up.
“We need to get rid of this,” Liz said gesturing at the top blanket. She started to panic imaging her mother asking to tour the new house and her father seeing that and knowing what it was. This living in sin thing was complicated Liz thought inanely.
Max walked over and waved his hand over the blanket. “Better?”
“Yes. Thank you,” Liz said turning toward him, her hand moving to rest over his ribs. “We can do this. Yeah?”
“Yes, we can,” Max replied quickly, not at all sure but trying to sound that way to reassure her. He was ninety percent certain her father would kill him before the night was over. That number would increase by at least nine and half percent if he found out about this afternoon.
“Right,” Liz nodded. “It’s just my parents,” Liz said nibbling on her bottom lip. “And it’s not like they don’t know that….I mean we have kids and….I’ll just shut up now.”
Max smiled and tugged her closer. “Please, keep talking. I’m feeling better by the second.”
Liz pinched him lightly but smiled. “Is this a love handle? I think it is.”
“What?” Max asked surprised.
“I think I can pinch more then an inch here,” Liz said and grinned as Max looked down. “You need to workout.”
“You’re funny,” Max said feeling a lot better. Tugging her closer he kissed the top of her head.
Liz ignored the tightness in her chest and rested against him wanting to make up for her earlier failure. This day was not going as she’d planned at all and she felt really shitty about it. That didn’t mean she wanted Max to feel shitty. “I try.”
“Go entertain your parents and I’ll deal with this,” Max urged her.
“Okay,” Liz agreed and brushed her fingers over his chest in a soft caress meant to reassure him and found a measure of her own reassurance.
Max watched her leave the room and resolved to make tonight as easy for her as possible. He knew how close she was to her father and his opinions meant a lot to her, even if she didn’t say so. He didn’t want to make that relationship more difficult for her.
“Okay, all set,” Liz announced as she walked back in the room. Sending her parents a million-dollar forgery for a smile and hoping they didn’t look too closely.
Nancy smiled back perfectly content to overlook her exit. Jeff wasn’t fooled. The shadows he’d noticed in her eyes when he first came in were still there despite her smile. Before he could come to a decision about what to say the front door opened and the sound of small running feet and excited voices announced the children’s arrival.
“Mommy!” Noah cried lunching himself at Liz.
Liz caught him and groaned playfully. “You’re getting so big. Soon you’ll have to catch me.”
Noah smiled, his fingers grabbing a lock of her hair. “I catch you,” Noah agreed.
“Nana! Lookit! Is a puppy,” Erin said running up to Nancy with her wiggling bundle of licking fur her face beaming a smile at both her grandparents.
“Yes, it sure is,” Nancy agreed smiling at Erin exuberance. “Wearing a very interesting shirt too.”
“My idea,” Maria said as she walked in carrying several bags.
Liz walked over carrying Noah and read the back of the shirt. “Nice,” Liz said smiling her first genuine smile since early that afternoon. Alien test subject. Fitting.
“Thank you,” Maria smiled. “Hides the handprint.”
Liz reached out and stroked Erin’s hair back off of her face feeling a hundred percent better now that both her kids were home safe. “He’s beautiful Sweety.”
“Yah! He very pwretty,” Erin agreed excited. “He gives lots and lots of kisses.”
“I can see that. Why don’t you take him outside so he can go potty?” Liz suggested worried about the carpet. “Then we can get him something to eat.”
“Kay,” Erin agreed. “Papa come too.”
Jeff smiled at Erin’s demand and got up. “Let’s go take care of business.”
“Yeah, we go take care of bidness,” Erin told Liz seriously.
Liz smiled and looked at Noah. “You wanna go too?”
“Nope,” Noah answered, quite happy where he was. Feeling calmer now he yawned and laid his head down on her shoulder snuggling closer.
Liz felt his fingers playing with her hair like he did when he was tired and soothing himself to sleep. “Go with Papa then,” Liz said to Erin and watched her struggle to hold the puppy and walk at the same time. Seeing Erin with her dad like that was like catching a glimpse of her own past.
Ava strolled in holding Javen’s hand and two bags. “Sorry we’re a little slow.”
“What do you have there?” Liz asked looking from Maria’s bags to Ava’s.
“Dog stuff,” Maria answered like it was obvious.
“She went a little wild,” Ava supplied unnecessarily.
“Where Erin go?” Javen demanded.
“She’s outside with the puppy,” Liz said as she shifted Noah to her other hip. “You can go find her if you want.”
“Kay,” Javen said and started running toward the back. Suddenly coming to a stop he turned around and ran to Liz clutching her leg. “Hi, Auntie Liz,” Javen greeted belatedly.
“Hi there,” Liz said, carefully juggling Noah as she crouched down to Javen’s eye level. “How you doing?” Liz asked smiling as she said the phrase that Javen had picked up and used on the phone with her all the time. Already flirting and he wasn’t even five.
Javen laughed like she had just told him the best joke as Liz hugged him to her side for a quick squeeze. Aunt Liz was a favorite. “How you doing?”
Liz gave him a smacking kiss before replying. “I’m very happy to see you. I missed you lots.”
“Missed you too,” Javen agreed softly.
“Go find Erin before she hogs Pepe all night,” Liz said bopping him lightly on the nose with her finger. She watched him run out of the room then turned her attention to Noah. “Sit with Nana for a few minutes while I take care the stuff you guys got okay?”
“Okay,” Noah agreed reluctantly. He let go of her hair and got up on the couch smiling when Nana ruffled his hair. “Hi, Nana,” Noah said shyly looking at her through lowered lashes.
“Hi back,” Nancy said smiling at her grandson. “Tell me all about the park today.”
Liz watched Noah start to talk his own sense of excitement coming through as he rushed to tell his Nana about the fun he had that day, the scare at the end already forgotten.
“Come on,” Maria said nudging Liz in the side. “Help me with the bags.”
Liz rolled her eyes at Maria’s obvious attempt to cull her from the herd. “Right.”
Ava followed Maria and Liz and took a seat out of the way at the breakfast bar. Liz started looking through the bags finding toy after toy, several different types of dog treats, a small dog bed, food, bowls, a book on Chihuahuas, and an entire wardrobe. She looked up and pinned Maria with a pointed look.
“Now, I remember asking you to pick up some food,” Liz said arching her eyebrow.
“We did,” Maria said smiling. “Plus, Erin said he needed a bed. Then she said he liked the toys.”
Liz sighed and shook her head. “You are such a push over. What am I going to do with all this stuff?”
“Use it of course,” Maria said waving that off to get to what she really wanted to talk about. “Now…”
“Oh my god,” Liz interrupted. “The grill! I need to light the grill so it can…”
“Liz,” Maria said eyeing her. She looked almost frazzled and was still avoiding eye contact.
“Thanks for taking the kids. It looks like they really had a good time,” Liz said going to open the fridge. “They really needed a break.”
Maria glanced over at Ava who shrugged her shoulders at the unspoken question.
“Liz?” Max called.
Liz froze in place for a second before nervously tucking back her hair. “In here,” Liz called back both grateful for the interruption and dreading being put under the intense study that Maria and Ava were bound to subject them to.
Max walked into the room, his eyes zeroing in immediately on Liz. “Where’s Erin?”
“Outside with our dog and my father,” Liz answered leaning on the counter. “Where the grill is.”
“Oh,” Max winced. “Okay then. I’ll just go check on…..them in a second.”
Maria watched with a growing sense of unease as Max walked closer and spoke to Liz softly. Now, Maria had known Liz for most of her life and her body language was like an open book to her, as was reading between the lines of what Liz said and didn’t say. It was how she’d known how Liz felt about Kyle forever ago, despite….and because of what Liz said. Watching her now, Maria could see all of the faint traces that telegraphed a problem despite Liz’s obvious effort to present a different picture.
Max’s voice rose slightly in volume enough for her to overhear a smidge.
“….make it up to you. You’re not upset are you?”
Maria watched Liz’s face pale ever so slightly as she responded. “I’m fine. I’m not upset with you so just forget it. I…Look…Can we just…talk about this later? Please?”
Maria watched Max nod and run a hand down her hair as she smiled up at him. Liz reached past him and grabbed a Granny Smith apple handing it to him before he started toward the backdoor.
“Catch you later Max,” Maria called before he could slip out the door. The look he shot her was that of a rabbit shooting off into the bush away from its pursuer.
“Yeah, later,” Max waved as he shut the door.
“What?” Liz asked when Maria turned to face her.
“Today not go as planned?” Maria asked watching her.
“Umm no it was….It ummm was just like I planned it,” Liz lied.
“Riiight,” Maria agreed. “You have that satisfied glow of a plan successfully carried out with happy results. Totally.”
“Back off okay Maria?” Liz said her eyes snapping. “It’s my business. Private business okay?”
“No it’s clearly not okay,” Maria responded. “Just tell me, Liz. I’d like to help if I can.”
“Thanks but….this is between me and Max. When I want to talk I’ll talk to him,” Liz said turning away to fiddle with the chicken. The pressure behind her eyes was building and unrelenting in its pounding.
“Okay,” Maria agreed backing off. For now.
Dinner progressed much as she thought it would after Maria and Ava left to take Javen back to the Evan’s house. Max was tense, her father was pretty quiet, with her mother and the kids filling in most of the silence. She tried to help but her headache was taking up residence like it planned to hang around for awhile and the smell of food was making her feel ill.
After dinner her father followed her outside, silently watching her pick up the dirty spatula and dish that had held the chicken.
“Lizzy?” Jeff asked to announce his presence.
“Yeah Dad?” Liz asked turning toward him.
Jeff walked over and stood awkwardly debating what to say.
Seeing the struggle mirrored in his expression she spoke trying to forestall an argument. “Look Dad, just..don’t start in on the leave Max speech okay? Please? I’m not really up for it today.”
“That isn’t what I wanted to say,” Jeff denied then moved closer taking her chin in his hand. “I wanted to tell you that I love you, Liz, and no father has ever been prouder of his daughter then I am of you.”
Liz just looked at him in stunned surprise.
“I know I don’t tell you that often enough. I also wanted to remind you that you’re welcome anytime day or night. Whenever you want to visit just come. No questions asked,” Jeff assured her.
Liz blinked away the tears forming in her eyes and nodded. “Thank you, Daddy. I couldn’t be the person I am without you,” Liz said leaning forward to hug him tight. “I love you too. I promise I’ll visit often. The kids love the asteroid pie,” Liz said and pulled back enough to see his face. “You’re welcome here too, Daddy. Max grills a pretty good steak.”
“One day I’ll have to have one,” Jeff agreed. “You’re my baby, always, and no matter what that won’t change. Whatever decisions you make in your life….I just want to see you happy, honey. That’s all I care about.”
“I know,” Liz said and smiled.
“Okay, so let me help you take this stuff inside,” Jeff said and reached for the things Liz had gathered together.
“What about cleaning up?” Liz teased knowing how much her father hated to dishes.
“You rise I’ll load the dish washer. How’s that?” Jeff offered. “You can tell me about the park while we work.”
Liz smiled remembering many nights in the café talking while they worked. “Deal.”
World In My Eyes (CC,M/L,Adult) Ch 54 - 08/22/06 [WIP]
Moderators: Anniepoo98, ISLANDGIRL5, truelovepooh, Forum Moderators
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
Max crept into the bedroom on silent feet not wanting to wake Liz. After her parents had left he’d shut himself in the den with the excuse of setting up Liz’s computer and doing some unpacking, using that time to think.
While dinner had gone better then he’d thought the rest of the day hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped. Whatever Liz said something was wrong, he could feel it. It wasn’t just the tension of her parents visit or Erin healing that dog. No. It was more then that and he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
He’d watched her try to smooth over the dinner conversation, casually massaging her temples every once in while when she thought no one was looking, but her father obviously had something on his mind. The quieter he got the less Liz ate, pushing her food around her plate with her fork, while she encouraged her mother to talk about everything they’d missed in Roswell.
Quickly undressing he slid into his side of the bed frankly relieved that Liz was even here in the bed tonight. Reaching to turn off the bedside lamp he knocked over her bottle of aspirin, catching it before it rolled off the table. Sighing he turned out the light and curled around Liz’s back closing his eyes, feeling the tension tightening her muscles even in sleep. Gently he ran his hand over her, softly stroking her, trying to ease tense muscles without waking her.
Liz gasp, startled as his callused thumb rubbed over her breast, circling over her suddenly aching nipple. The gasp turned into a soft moan as a prickling heat raced through her, shocking her with its intensity. The darkness shrouded him, hiding him from her view as his hands roamed over her bare skin lingering a few times before continuing on, leaving her skin so sensitive she could feel the brush of his breath stirring the air around her.
She twisted around and tugged him down over her, her mouth searching for his, drawing a moan of relief when she found it. Her fingers dug into the hard bulge of his triceps as his mouth slanted over hers, parting her lips for the slow stroke of his tongue. She surged against him, rubbing her body against his, needing to feel the hardness of muscle against her more yielding softness.
When he rolled them over, her legs parted as she rose over him.
Suddenly disorientated, she blinked then felt alarm rush through her as her viewpoint changed, the curtains fluttering gently in the breeze blowing in from her balcony. Her stomach tightened with fear knowing this was wrong. Looking over to her bed she watched herself with Max suddenly feeling sick at what was to come. The Liz on the bed drew a sharp cry from Max as she leaned backward taking more of him inside.
She wanted to run but found she couldn’t move, not even to turn her head. When the Liz on the bed suddenly turned to look at her and smile, her fear escalated, watching as the other reached up and drew off her mask.
“No!” Liz cried struggling against whatever held her in place.
“Come on Liz,” Tess caroled softly. “Take it off. You know you want to see.”
“No,” Liz said but found herself reaching up to pull off her own mask. She knew before she looked what she would see but was helpless to resist as her eyes turned to the mirror, blue eyes staring back at her ringed with a halo of horrible blonde curls.
“Told you,” Tess smirked from behind her shoulder. “You always look,” Tess shrugged lightly. “Didn’t you ever hear that curiousity killed the cat. Or in this case Kitten?”
“You aren’t here. You aren’t,” Liz said hoping that saying it would make her go away.
“Of course I am. I never really left. Have I?” Tess asked tilting her head to the side as she watched Liz.
“No,” Liz whispered, blinking back tears.
“Oh yes,” Tess corrected, smiling as a moan drifted from the bed. “He seems to be enjoying himself. Are you?”
Liz sucked in her breath sharply fear spiraling through her, chilling her blood and making her shiver.
Tess’s smile grew, the malicious enjoyment shining in her eyes lighting them from within. “You did before. It didn’t matter if I was here or not. Remember?”
“No,” Liz said clamping her hands tightly over her ears.
“Hello? I’m in your head,” Tess said clearly, rolling her eyes. “That won’t help. You really are stupid. This is YOUR dream. You know the rules. There’s no running from yourself so stop being such an idiot,” Tess said as she strolled toward the bed. Looking down at the withering bodies she smiled. “What is he thinking I wonder? Does he even know who he’s with? Do you? We’re interchangeable to him, I think.”
“Shut up,” Liz shouted dropping her hands. “He knows.”
“Hmm, you think? I don’t know. How can you tell? You can’t feel anything so how do you know?” Tess asked meeting her eyes from across the bed. “Does he call you by name? Cause we both know that what's true for you clearly isn’t the same for him. Love doesn’t have anything to do with this. Does it? Not always.”
Liz’s eyes dropped to the bed and her stomach rolled in protest seeing the harsh expression twisting Max’s face. Her breathing picked up as nausea rolled through her.
“I seem to remember you telling me that you didn’t have to screw him to keep him,” Tess said a vicious edge to her tone. “Still think that? You know he’s going to leave you. You suck in bed. When he can get you there at all.”
“No, he won’t leave,” Liz protested shaking her head. “He won’t.”
“Isn’t he gone already?” Tess asked sounding slightly bored. “When is the last time you really FELT anything? Months? Or is it closer to years? Can you even remember that far back?”
Liz shook her head, mute, fear closing her throat and twisting her insides.
“That’s what I thought,” Tess smiled. “You can’t lie to me. I live here. I know everything you think, everything you do, everything you tell yourself to get through the day.”
Tess moved to the foot of the bed and climbed on smiling as Liz flinched, her eyes darting away from the beds other occupants. “You are pathetic Liz. Even when it’s you with him you can’t look.”
“That isn’t me,” Liz denied. “That’s you. That’s not Max either.”
“What? Just because I arranged it makes it not you?” Tess asked her perfectly shaped eyebrow arching in disbelief. “It certainly IS you and it IS Max. I just….gave him a little nudge. The rest was ALL you.”
“No,” Liz said her head shaking quickly in denial. “I never would have….I wouldn’t…I’ve never felt like that….He isn’t like that either. That isn’t us so just stop it! Stop lying! I don’t believe you.”
“He most certainly IS like that,” Tess said her eyes narrowing. “Do I have to remind you of what you’ve seen? What you know to be true? You know he’s like that because you saw it, felt it, from him. Not from me. Honestly Liz. Stop being such a baby. You know sex isn’t love. You know because that’s what you feel from him every time, isn’t it? That first time was a lie wasn’t it? You painted it over with that golden glow but it’s not real. You know its not. This is all there is, the rest is just lies that you tell yourself to keep from feeling like the slut you are. This is sin. Isn’t this what you wanted?”
Liz backed away from the bed shaking her head so hard her hair wiped around her face. She knew what was coming. She’d had this dream so many times, she knew, and she didn’t want to see, she knew she would shatter if she saw after today. She felt something break loose inside her, power, building in portion with her blind terror. Her throat was closed just like always. No one could hear her. She couldn’t feel anything but the cold as she reached out for Max desperately, sinking into the same void that she always did. In blind terror she called for help, someone, anyone to save her before she drown.
Miles away Cal Langley bolted up, his body humming with energy, ready for battle. Hearing her panicked call he gathered his energy, already on the way to her.
Max was dragged from sleep, at first confused by the choked whimpers that had awakened him. Was the puppy in here crying? Rolling over, he realized it was Liz about two seconds before Noah started screaming from down the hall, quickly joined by Erin. Before he could do anything, Liz gasp and flung out her hand sweeping the blankets aside and rolling out of bed, hitting the floor hard as her legs tangled in the sheet. She scrambled up and ran for the bathroom.
Confused and alarmed, Max raced after her to find her huddled by the toilet trembling between sobbing heaves.
“Liz? Look at me,” Max said dropping down beside her frantic to check her, heal whatever was wrong.
“Mommy?” Noah sobbed from the doorway, terror blanching his face of color and sending tears splashing onto his cheeks.
Max turned and saw Noah, then Erin standing slightly behind him her eyes round with fear. “It’s okay. Mommy’s just a little sick.”
“I’m sorry,” Liz whispered brokenly between sobs. Wiping her cheeks quickly she reached out her hand even as she struggled to wall off her connection to the kids.
Noah rushed forward tumbling into Liz’s lap, automatically making room for Erin, who climbed up beside him.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Liz whispered her breathe hitching between words as sobs threatened to cut off her voice.
Max raked a hand through his hair then froze as he heard the front door bang open and running steps coming down the hall. He moved to the bathroom doorway raising his hand in preparation for whatever was coming.
“Watch it,” Cal barked gruffly as he entered the bedroom knowing exactly where Liz was instinctively.
“What are you doing here?” Max asked sharply.
“She called me,” Cal answered as he brushed by Max. Focusing on the pile of bodies on the floor, including a furry wiggling thing that resembled a large rodent except for the frantic barking, he tried to assess the situation. Meeting Liz’s dark tear-filled eyes he sighed deeply. “Come on little bits, give Kitten some air,” Cal said peeling Erin off of Liz and passing her to Max. “It’s okay now, we just need to look at your mom for a second okay?” Cal asked as Erin’s lower lip trembled in the beginnings of a tantrum.
Max walked with Erin into the bedroom and placed her in the bed then scooped up the still barking dog setting him next to her. “Stay here and take care of Pepe okay? He’s scared and needs you to let him know it’s okay now.”
“It okay?” Erin asked uncertainly. She could tell Noah didn’t think so. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes as Pepe tried to lick her face. “Rweally?”
“It’s okay. Promise. Mommy’s just not feeling good, that’s all,” Max said quickly and kissed her hair before turning back to the bathroom. He brushed by Cal who was carrying Noah out of the room and went directly to Liz kneeling down in front of her. “Liz?” Max asked stroking back the hair glued to her face by her tears.
“I’m sorry,” Liz whispered, sobs shaking her body. “I’ll do better. Please don’t leave.”
Cal caught the last comment, frowning darkly as he looked between Max and Liz quickly.
“I’m not leaving,” Max said sinking all the way to the floor and lifting her onto his lap. Looking at Cal over the top of Liz’s head Max spoke. “What’s going on Cal? Do you know?”
“Don’t you?” Cal asked bluntly, eyes narrowed.
“No, I woke up and heard her crying in her sleep. Then Noah and Erin started screaming and….” Max tightened his arms around Liz as Cal’s face flushed. “I don’t know.”
“Let me talk to her,” Cal said jerking his thumb toward the door. When Max opened his mouth to protest he scowled. “Out. Calm the kids and give me some room. Kitten’s getting upset.”
Max scowled right back at him. “I’m not leaving her.”
“You ain’t doing her any good here,” Cal said roughly. “You’re so closed up that you didn’t even hear her call. What are you going to do for her? You’re blind and deaf at this point.”
“What?” Max asked feeling Liz stiffen in his arms.
“You know what I’m talking about,” Cal said quietly seeing guilt flash over Max’s face. “You can’t see if you don’t look and you certainly can’t hear her if you’re deaf on top of it. I heard her from two miles away and I’m not bonded to her. You are.”
“Stop,” Liz said softly, shame welling inside her. “Don’t yell at him. It’s not his fault.”
“Whose is it then?” Cal asked his eyes meeting hers.
“Mine,” Liz said lifting her chin. “It’s mine. I can’t do this. I can’t make this work. I’ve tried so hard and…” Liz sniffed as her eyes stung threatening to tear. “now I’ve scared the hell out of my kids on top of everything. I’m horrible. A stupid dream, that’s all it was. Just a dream.”
Cal looked at Max and lifted his eyebrow in silent accusation, again jerking his thumb toward the door.
“I’ll check on the kids, while you….use the bathroom,” Max said softly by Liz’s ear, helping her to stand when she nodded. Walking out the door he stopped and turned to Cal. “You too. Out.”
Cal followed him out shutting the door to give Liz some privacy.
“What did you mean in there?” Max asked Cal facing off with him just inside the bedroom.
“Just what I said. You can’t hide from her,” Cal said crossing his arms over his chest. “She’s your mate. You’re the one that chose her, not the other way around. You tied her to you and with that comes responsibility for her well being. She’s the human, changed or not, and there are limits to what she can do here. You have two lifetimes worth of experience at walling yourself off. You can’t do that and expect to fix the bond that you created and that you fouled. You’ve left her dangling with no way to reach you. If I’m hearing her there’s no way she’s reaching you. Instinct would have her reaching for you first, always. I don’t know what has her reaching out like this but I do know that you’re really messing up. When are you going to learn to sacrifice? Not your energy or your physical self but YOU. Your safety, your comfort, and emotional self. It’s easy to make a big gesture when its life or death but you have to maintain this bond everyday. When it’s easy and when you think you can’t. When it hurts,” Cal said glaring at him. “You aren’t just you anymore. Not since the moment you bonded with her. You know that because you feel it. You’ve always known it since the moment you saw her. Now it’s fact. Deal with it.”
“How?” Max asked. “What do I have to do?”
“You know what to do,” Cal said frustrated. “You let her in. She reaches for you and YOU LET HER IN. You don’t just wait for her to fix it. She can’t. Not without you. This isn’t complicated you’re just making it seem that way. This is what you wanted. To bind her to you always, you got what you wanted. Now she’s in your care. Whatever happens, happens to both of you. There’s no changing that, there’s no reversing it, and there’s no hiding from it. She’s your mate and you’ve left her alone. So alone that she’s calling for help so loudly that anyone can hear her from miles away. Anyone that happens to be listening.”
Liz took a shuddering breath and held it looking in the mirror into her own eyes. They were brown just like they were supposed to be. They looked back at her showing everything. Shutting them tightly she turned on the hot water and bent over the sink splashing her face repeatedly trying to wash away something that couldn’t be reached from the outside and couldn’t be washed away with something as simple as water.
God she was a pathetic mess.
Swallowing back her self disgust and shame she tentatively eased wider the connection linking her to her children, gently touching them. Apologizing without words and soothing lingering fears, making things as right for them as she could after failing to protect them. They needed to be protected from her more then anything else at the moment.
Max crept into the bedroom on silent feet not wanting to wake Liz. After her parents had left he’d shut himself in the den with the excuse of setting up Liz’s computer and doing some unpacking, using that time to think.
While dinner had gone better then he’d thought the rest of the day hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped. Whatever Liz said something was wrong, he could feel it. It wasn’t just the tension of her parents visit or Erin healing that dog. No. It was more then that and he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
He’d watched her try to smooth over the dinner conversation, casually massaging her temples every once in while when she thought no one was looking, but her father obviously had something on his mind. The quieter he got the less Liz ate, pushing her food around her plate with her fork, while she encouraged her mother to talk about everything they’d missed in Roswell.
Quickly undressing he slid into his side of the bed frankly relieved that Liz was even here in the bed tonight. Reaching to turn off the bedside lamp he knocked over her bottle of aspirin, catching it before it rolled off the table. Sighing he turned out the light and curled around Liz’s back closing his eyes, feeling the tension tightening her muscles even in sleep. Gently he ran his hand over her, softly stroking her, trying to ease tense muscles without waking her.
Liz gasp, startled as his callused thumb rubbed over her breast, circling over her suddenly aching nipple. The gasp turned into a soft moan as a prickling heat raced through her, shocking her with its intensity. The darkness shrouded him, hiding him from her view as his hands roamed over her bare skin lingering a few times before continuing on, leaving her skin so sensitive she could feel the brush of his breath stirring the air around her.
She twisted around and tugged him down over her, her mouth searching for his, drawing a moan of relief when she found it. Her fingers dug into the hard bulge of his triceps as his mouth slanted over hers, parting her lips for the slow stroke of his tongue. She surged against him, rubbing her body against his, needing to feel the hardness of muscle against her more yielding softness.
When he rolled them over, her legs parted as she rose over him.
Suddenly disorientated, she blinked then felt alarm rush through her as her viewpoint changed, the curtains fluttering gently in the breeze blowing in from her balcony. Her stomach tightened with fear knowing this was wrong. Looking over to her bed she watched herself with Max suddenly feeling sick at what was to come. The Liz on the bed drew a sharp cry from Max as she leaned backward taking more of him inside.
She wanted to run but found she couldn’t move, not even to turn her head. When the Liz on the bed suddenly turned to look at her and smile, her fear escalated, watching as the other reached up and drew off her mask.
“No!” Liz cried struggling against whatever held her in place.
“Come on Liz,” Tess caroled softly. “Take it off. You know you want to see.”
“No,” Liz said but found herself reaching up to pull off her own mask. She knew before she looked what she would see but was helpless to resist as her eyes turned to the mirror, blue eyes staring back at her ringed with a halo of horrible blonde curls.
“Told you,” Tess smirked from behind her shoulder. “You always look,” Tess shrugged lightly. “Didn’t you ever hear that curiousity killed the cat. Or in this case Kitten?”
“You aren’t here. You aren’t,” Liz said hoping that saying it would make her go away.
“Of course I am. I never really left. Have I?” Tess asked tilting her head to the side as she watched Liz.
“No,” Liz whispered, blinking back tears.
“Oh yes,” Tess corrected, smiling as a moan drifted from the bed. “He seems to be enjoying himself. Are you?”
Liz sucked in her breath sharply fear spiraling through her, chilling her blood and making her shiver.
Tess’s smile grew, the malicious enjoyment shining in her eyes lighting them from within. “You did before. It didn’t matter if I was here or not. Remember?”
“No,” Liz said clamping her hands tightly over her ears.
“Hello? I’m in your head,” Tess said clearly, rolling her eyes. “That won’t help. You really are stupid. This is YOUR dream. You know the rules. There’s no running from yourself so stop being such an idiot,” Tess said as she strolled toward the bed. Looking down at the withering bodies she smiled. “What is he thinking I wonder? Does he even know who he’s with? Do you? We’re interchangeable to him, I think.”
“Shut up,” Liz shouted dropping her hands. “He knows.”
“Hmm, you think? I don’t know. How can you tell? You can’t feel anything so how do you know?” Tess asked meeting her eyes from across the bed. “Does he call you by name? Cause we both know that what's true for you clearly isn’t the same for him. Love doesn’t have anything to do with this. Does it? Not always.”
Liz’s eyes dropped to the bed and her stomach rolled in protest seeing the harsh expression twisting Max’s face. Her breathing picked up as nausea rolled through her.
“I seem to remember you telling me that you didn’t have to screw him to keep him,” Tess said a vicious edge to her tone. “Still think that? You know he’s going to leave you. You suck in bed. When he can get you there at all.”
“No, he won’t leave,” Liz protested shaking her head. “He won’t.”
“Isn’t he gone already?” Tess asked sounding slightly bored. “When is the last time you really FELT anything? Months? Or is it closer to years? Can you even remember that far back?”
Liz shook her head, mute, fear closing her throat and twisting her insides.
“That’s what I thought,” Tess smiled. “You can’t lie to me. I live here. I know everything you think, everything you do, everything you tell yourself to get through the day.”
Tess moved to the foot of the bed and climbed on smiling as Liz flinched, her eyes darting away from the beds other occupants. “You are pathetic Liz. Even when it’s you with him you can’t look.”
“That isn’t me,” Liz denied. “That’s you. That’s not Max either.”
“What? Just because I arranged it makes it not you?” Tess asked her perfectly shaped eyebrow arching in disbelief. “It certainly IS you and it IS Max. I just….gave him a little nudge. The rest was ALL you.”
“No,” Liz said her head shaking quickly in denial. “I never would have….I wouldn’t…I’ve never felt like that….He isn’t like that either. That isn’t us so just stop it! Stop lying! I don’t believe you.”
“He most certainly IS like that,” Tess said her eyes narrowing. “Do I have to remind you of what you’ve seen? What you know to be true? You know he’s like that because you saw it, felt it, from him. Not from me. Honestly Liz. Stop being such a baby. You know sex isn’t love. You know because that’s what you feel from him every time, isn’t it? That first time was a lie wasn’t it? You painted it over with that golden glow but it’s not real. You know its not. This is all there is, the rest is just lies that you tell yourself to keep from feeling like the slut you are. This is sin. Isn’t this what you wanted?”
Liz backed away from the bed shaking her head so hard her hair wiped around her face. She knew what was coming. She’d had this dream so many times, she knew, and she didn’t want to see, she knew she would shatter if she saw after today. She felt something break loose inside her, power, building in portion with her blind terror. Her throat was closed just like always. No one could hear her. She couldn’t feel anything but the cold as she reached out for Max desperately, sinking into the same void that she always did. In blind terror she called for help, someone, anyone to save her before she drown.
Miles away Cal Langley bolted up, his body humming with energy, ready for battle. Hearing her panicked call he gathered his energy, already on the way to her.
Max was dragged from sleep, at first confused by the choked whimpers that had awakened him. Was the puppy in here crying? Rolling over, he realized it was Liz about two seconds before Noah started screaming from down the hall, quickly joined by Erin. Before he could do anything, Liz gasp and flung out her hand sweeping the blankets aside and rolling out of bed, hitting the floor hard as her legs tangled in the sheet. She scrambled up and ran for the bathroom.
Confused and alarmed, Max raced after her to find her huddled by the toilet trembling between sobbing heaves.
“Liz? Look at me,” Max said dropping down beside her frantic to check her, heal whatever was wrong.
“Mommy?” Noah sobbed from the doorway, terror blanching his face of color and sending tears splashing onto his cheeks.
Max turned and saw Noah, then Erin standing slightly behind him her eyes round with fear. “It’s okay. Mommy’s just a little sick.”
“I’m sorry,” Liz whispered brokenly between sobs. Wiping her cheeks quickly she reached out her hand even as she struggled to wall off her connection to the kids.
Noah rushed forward tumbling into Liz’s lap, automatically making room for Erin, who climbed up beside him.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Liz whispered her breathe hitching between words as sobs threatened to cut off her voice.
Max raked a hand through his hair then froze as he heard the front door bang open and running steps coming down the hall. He moved to the bathroom doorway raising his hand in preparation for whatever was coming.
“Watch it,” Cal barked gruffly as he entered the bedroom knowing exactly where Liz was instinctively.
“What are you doing here?” Max asked sharply.
“She called me,” Cal answered as he brushed by Max. Focusing on the pile of bodies on the floor, including a furry wiggling thing that resembled a large rodent except for the frantic barking, he tried to assess the situation. Meeting Liz’s dark tear-filled eyes he sighed deeply. “Come on little bits, give Kitten some air,” Cal said peeling Erin off of Liz and passing her to Max. “It’s okay now, we just need to look at your mom for a second okay?” Cal asked as Erin’s lower lip trembled in the beginnings of a tantrum.
Max walked with Erin into the bedroom and placed her in the bed then scooped up the still barking dog setting him next to her. “Stay here and take care of Pepe okay? He’s scared and needs you to let him know it’s okay now.”
“It okay?” Erin asked uncertainly. She could tell Noah didn’t think so. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes as Pepe tried to lick her face. “Rweally?”
“It’s okay. Promise. Mommy’s just not feeling good, that’s all,” Max said quickly and kissed her hair before turning back to the bathroom. He brushed by Cal who was carrying Noah out of the room and went directly to Liz kneeling down in front of her. “Liz?” Max asked stroking back the hair glued to her face by her tears.
“I’m sorry,” Liz whispered, sobs shaking her body. “I’ll do better. Please don’t leave.”
Cal caught the last comment, frowning darkly as he looked between Max and Liz quickly.
“I’m not leaving,” Max said sinking all the way to the floor and lifting her onto his lap. Looking at Cal over the top of Liz’s head Max spoke. “What’s going on Cal? Do you know?”
“Don’t you?” Cal asked bluntly, eyes narrowed.
“No, I woke up and heard her crying in her sleep. Then Noah and Erin started screaming and….” Max tightened his arms around Liz as Cal’s face flushed. “I don’t know.”
“Let me talk to her,” Cal said jerking his thumb toward the door. When Max opened his mouth to protest he scowled. “Out. Calm the kids and give me some room. Kitten’s getting upset.”
Max scowled right back at him. “I’m not leaving her.”
“You ain’t doing her any good here,” Cal said roughly. “You’re so closed up that you didn’t even hear her call. What are you going to do for her? You’re blind and deaf at this point.”
“What?” Max asked feeling Liz stiffen in his arms.
“You know what I’m talking about,” Cal said quietly seeing guilt flash over Max’s face. “You can’t see if you don’t look and you certainly can’t hear her if you’re deaf on top of it. I heard her from two miles away and I’m not bonded to her. You are.”
“Stop,” Liz said softly, shame welling inside her. “Don’t yell at him. It’s not his fault.”
“Whose is it then?” Cal asked his eyes meeting hers.
“Mine,” Liz said lifting her chin. “It’s mine. I can’t do this. I can’t make this work. I’ve tried so hard and…” Liz sniffed as her eyes stung threatening to tear. “now I’ve scared the hell out of my kids on top of everything. I’m horrible. A stupid dream, that’s all it was. Just a dream.”
Cal looked at Max and lifted his eyebrow in silent accusation, again jerking his thumb toward the door.
“I’ll check on the kids, while you….use the bathroom,” Max said softly by Liz’s ear, helping her to stand when she nodded. Walking out the door he stopped and turned to Cal. “You too. Out.”
Cal followed him out shutting the door to give Liz some privacy.
“What did you mean in there?” Max asked Cal facing off with him just inside the bedroom.
“Just what I said. You can’t hide from her,” Cal said crossing his arms over his chest. “She’s your mate. You’re the one that chose her, not the other way around. You tied her to you and with that comes responsibility for her well being. She’s the human, changed or not, and there are limits to what she can do here. You have two lifetimes worth of experience at walling yourself off. You can’t do that and expect to fix the bond that you created and that you fouled. You’ve left her dangling with no way to reach you. If I’m hearing her there’s no way she’s reaching you. Instinct would have her reaching for you first, always. I don’t know what has her reaching out like this but I do know that you’re really messing up. When are you going to learn to sacrifice? Not your energy or your physical self but YOU. Your safety, your comfort, and emotional self. It’s easy to make a big gesture when its life or death but you have to maintain this bond everyday. When it’s easy and when you think you can’t. When it hurts,” Cal said glaring at him. “You aren’t just you anymore. Not since the moment you bonded with her. You know that because you feel it. You’ve always known it since the moment you saw her. Now it’s fact. Deal with it.”
“How?” Max asked. “What do I have to do?”
“You know what to do,” Cal said frustrated. “You let her in. She reaches for you and YOU LET HER IN. You don’t just wait for her to fix it. She can’t. Not without you. This isn’t complicated you’re just making it seem that way. This is what you wanted. To bind her to you always, you got what you wanted. Now she’s in your care. Whatever happens, happens to both of you. There’s no changing that, there’s no reversing it, and there’s no hiding from it. She’s your mate and you’ve left her alone. So alone that she’s calling for help so loudly that anyone can hear her from miles away. Anyone that happens to be listening.”
Liz took a shuddering breath and held it looking in the mirror into her own eyes. They were brown just like they were supposed to be. They looked back at her showing everything. Shutting them tightly she turned on the hot water and bent over the sink splashing her face repeatedly trying to wash away something that couldn’t be reached from the outside and couldn’t be washed away with something as simple as water.
God she was a pathetic mess.
Swallowing back her self disgust and shame she tentatively eased wider the connection linking her to her children, gently touching them. Apologizing without words and soothing lingering fears, making things as right for them as she could after failing to protect them. They needed to be protected from her more then anything else at the moment.
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Twelve
Cal waited for Liz to come out but finally had to knock when his patience ran out. “Liz? Open the door.”
Inside the bathroom Liz opened her eyes and stared at the door, hesitating before calling out. “It’s open.”
Cal glanced over to Max who was talking earnestly to the twins, then opened the door and walked in. “So you wanna tell me what’s going on?” Cal asked shutting the door behind himself.
“Do you have to protect the kids?” Liz asked from her spot perched on the edge of the tub, ignoring his question completely. “Is it just Max or them too?”
“The imperative would cover them too as possible seal barriers. Why?” Cal asked studying Liz closely.
“What sort of things do you have to respond to? Is it just physical harm or…other things too?” Liz asked not looking at him.
“The imperative didn’t kick in. That’s not why I’m here,” Cal said pointedly. “I’m here because you called me.”
Liz sighed and combed her fingers through her hair as tears threatened. “I’m sorry. I know you hate that.”
Seeing the glimmer of tears in her eyes he pushed away from the closed door. “I don’t sleep much anyway. Don’t need it,” Cal shrugged getting closer. “Kittens do though, so what has you up and calling for my special talents? Not that I don’t love to see His Majesty in his boxer briefs.”
Liz looked up at him and sniffed trying to smile. “He is cute huh?”
“Don’t try and bullshit a born bullshiter. So? What’s going on?” Cal asked cutting right to it.
Liz gave up on her pathetic attempt to hide her turmoil and met his eyes. “I need to know what to do to protect the twins from this. I can shield them most of the time but when I’m upset or….when I’m sleeping my guard drops and….”Liz waved her hand at the door. “You can see what happens then. Noah is so sensitive that he picks up on things even when I’m trying to block him. I can’t allow this. There has to be a way to shield them better. Protect them from….what’s happening.”
“As they grow they’ll build some defenses. We’re naturally telepathic when we’re young. Noah is different though,” Cal said thoughtfully. “His bond to you is strong. I suspect it’s because of what happened. What Tess did to him and to you. It forced him to forge strong bonds to survive. He had to use his gifts much earlier and at a higher level then most just to live. You are his anchor. You’re the first person he had a bond with, the one that connected to his pod, the one that was there when he was born. He felt you first and you showed him the way, stimulated his gifts, and gave him the will to survive and a sense of security. He’s a mama’s boy,” Cal shrugged. “He could do worse.”
“Cal, you’re not helping,” Liz said feeling her agitation grow. “The point is that he’s feeling things that he isn’t old enough to deal with. It’s scaring him. He’s worried all the time. This isn’t healthy.”
“No, it isn’t always but there’s a reason for it. That bond is as strong as it is for a reason. Why do you think that we have that ability? It’s not random,” Cal said putting the lid down on the toilet and sitting down. “Children aren’t equipped to protect themselves. Our species developed that ability as protection and the young are in special need of it. Noah and Erin in particular. They may have gifts but they aren’t skilled at using them yet. Their strongest gift right now is their ability to reach you and Max. Their parents. We’ll have to work on filtering a little better since his gifts are so strong but don’t shut him out. Max isn’t hearing you so I doubt he’d hear Noah,” Cal stopped, scowling for a moment as his thoughts strayed to Max briefly. “You’re more sensitive then Max is. To a lot of things. More open. We’ll work on it. Right now it isn’t Noah or Erin that I’m worried about. They aren’t calling for help.”
Liz sighed, fidgeting slightly under the weight of Cal’s appraisal. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t do it on purpose….at least not while I was awake. I just panicked. It was just a nightmare that’s all. Not anything I haven’t had before.”
“That’s not all,” Cal said, repressing his emotions to present a calm front when he felt anything but calm. “Kitten, don’t apologize for calling for help. That’s what I’m here for.”
“I’m not Max,” Liz said softly. “I have no right to intrude on your life with my problems. Yanking you out of bed in the middle of the night and shoving all this on you…..it’s not right. You’ve done enough for me. This isn’t an alien emergency or anything.”
“I’m not here because of the imperative. I’m here by choice,” Cal said both truthfully and slightly not. “There’s clearly a problem if you’re reaching out like that so let’s get to it. I know there’s a problem with the bond since Max hasn’t got a clue what’s going on. That can cause some serious problems. That it?”
“I don’t think I can do this,” Liz whispered. “We’re just….ripping each other apart. I thought….I thought I could….when we moved here but since we…..I love him so much but I’m just…..failing him, hurting him. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel so…..empty and it just never goes away. He’s been so patient with me,” Liz stopped as her headache picked up, responding to her rising emotions. Taking a deep breath she struggled for calm. “I just can’t seem to feel him anymore. There’s just this hole there.”
“You feel Noah and Erin right?” Cal asked knowing the answer. He wondered why her first response was always to assume the problem was all hers.
“Yes,” Liz nodded slowly then paused gnawing on her lower lip. “But they’re my children. I could never….abandon them, shut them out. It’s different with Max. Somehow, it’s just different. There’s all this….stuff between us. I don’t know how to get past all that stuff. I thought that if I just….opened up and waited he’d see that I trust him. I try not to shut him out. I try so hard but somehow I do. Sometimes, he looks at me like….he’s waiting for me to strike out at him or…I don’t know. Maybe he needs to just….let go and find someone that doesn’t have these problems. Clean slate,” Liz paused feeling her chest tighten at the very idea of him leaving. She rubbed her temple briefly, reminding herself that she wanted him to be happy and if leaving would give him that then he should go.
Cal could feel the increase in her distress as well as see it in her expression. “Max carries his problems with him where ever he goes. Leaving wouldn’t free him anymore then it would you. The emptiness you feel is the absence of him, of his essence. You’re far more sensitive to the lack of Unity then he is. You accepted him and made a place for him inside you that only he can fill. It’s how things are.”
“I don’t want to hurt him anymore,” Liz said softly. “I want so much to just….get over this and stop hurting him. I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want him to live like this either. But wanting it to change doesn’t make it happen. Everything I’ve tried just….fails.”
“You can’t fix everything by yourself. You’re human, Liz. That means you’re not perfect anymore then Max is. The bond isn’t of your making, you accepted it but he forged it. That means he has a part in repairing it. He’s doing his own share of damage here,” Cal said responding to her lost expression. It bothered him to see her so fragile. It was dangerous and just wrong. Bonds weren’t meant to destroy a person, it was supposed to be a source of strength. Clearly something was very very wrong here.
“Liz?” Max called knocking softly on the door.
“She’s busy,” Cal answered before Liz could.
“Cal,” Liz rebuked softly. “Don’t be mean to him. He’s had a hard day.”
Cal heaved a sigh shaking his head and getting to his feet. “You’re hopeless Kitten. I’m gonna go work on the young ones. At least with them I have a chance at getting through.”
Liz stood up and hugged him. “Thank you. For a bitter old shapeshifter….you’re really very sweet.”
Cal scowled but patted her back. “You’re a soft touch, Kitten. Despite everything. Look out for yourself sometimes.”
“I do,” Liz said brushing a kiss over his cheek.
“Deaf,” Cal muttered making for the door. “Both of you are just deaf to the sound of my voice.”
Liz ignored his familiar complaints as Max appeared in the doorway concern etched into his face. She didn’t notice Cal leaving, so absorbed in studying Max, looking for what she wasn’t even sure.
“Feeling better?” Max asked uncertainly. He searched her face, looking for clues to her thoughts.
“Yeah, look, I’m sorry about…..this. It was just….a dream and….I’m sorry,” Liz said feeling exposed and nervous.
“Tell me about it?” Max asked not openly disputing her claim but knowing this wasn’t a one-time thing. She’d been having nightmares for as long as they’d lived together.
“Umm you know, I think that it might not be such a good idea to get into it now. The kids are scared and….I’m not so good with the barriers tonight,” Liz said still feeling a little shaky, like she could burst into tears at any moment. She knew this discussion had scattered landmines throughout it and she wasn’t sure she could handle it with a clear head. Not with that dream still so fresh in her mind. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Max or the kids anymore then she knew she had already.
“Maybe you don’t need them. Cal can watch the kids and maybe this would help. If it’s upsetting you so much that Cal can feel you then it’s something we need to deal with,” Max said locking down on his own fears, getting ready for whatever was coming. She was miserable. It showed so vividly in her eyes that he wondered how he had missed it this long. He was worried for her, not just about her.
“But we don’t talk about this,” Liz whispered lifting her eyes to his. “We don’t ever talk about it.”
Max froze, his stomach twisting, sick with fear.
Tears filled Liz’s eyes as she looked away, not missing his expression, feeling the withdrawal it implied keenly. Drawing a shaky breath she held onto her wildly fluctuating emotions. This was exactly why they never talked about it. Max automatically took it as a sign that she hadn’t really forgiven him for the past. He didn’t really hear anything she said he was so busy looking for the accusation buried in her words. For proof that she still held the past against him and that wasn’t true. She’d been very careful to never throw it in his face in any disagreement they’d had since then and never brought it up at all in the context of his actions during that time. It was over…..but it wasn’t really. The effects of everything Tess had done to her were still very present but never talked about. Not really at the time and not afterwards. Ever.
“You dreamed about….Tess?” Max asked swallowing past the sick feeling in his gut as he watched her nod silently. “This happens a lot?”
“Yes,” Liz admitted her voice barely audible still looking at the floor.
“When did the dreams start?” Max asked, very afraid he knew the answer to that question.
“After we…Umm before we left for Paris actually,” Liz said forcing her eyes back to his and watching the impact of that statement in his eyes.
“Oh. I see,” Max said softly.
“Do you? I don’t think you do,” Liz said brushing past him and walking into the bedroom. “This isn’t about…..you and her. Not really.”
Max followed her into the room and sat next to her on the bed. “So what is it about?”
“I don’t know if I can explain it to you and have you understand,” Liz said softly drawing her knees up to her chest in a protective gesture. “I’m sorry. I just can’t. I don’t know how I just feel it. You don’t seem to feel things the way I do. She did things to us, Max, to me, that I just can’t seem to get over. I didn’t used to be like this. I remember being different, things being better, but now that just seems so out of reach. I’m sorry,” Liz breathed feeling ashamed and so alone, tears once more close to the surface.
Max scooted closer feeling the weight of her sorrow in his own chest. “Feel things like what? I don’t know what you mean.”
“I know you don’t,” Liz agreed softly. “I feel ashamed and lost. I feel empty inside. The one thing I never feel is you. No matter what I do or where I look I can’t find you.”
Max felt the punch of her words like a fist. Before he could speak she was uncurling and moving away from him.
“I used to feel you all the time. It didn’t matter how far away you were I could still feel you. Now it doesn’t seem to matter how close you are I feel empty. I know that we’re different in a lot of ways but this emptiness makes me afraid. It feels wrong. The dreams are part of that,” Liz glanced over her shoulder at Max then quickly looked away. “I know I can’t be what…..I can’t be like she was. I don’t want to be. I remember how it was when she was pushing us together and……I feel sick. Now I don’t know if what I remember is how it was or….if the first time was how I thought it was. What I know is that what I’m looking for isn’t there. I can’t touch it and I don’t feel it. I thought if I tried harder or let things just happen it would get better but it isn’t getting better. The dreams are worse and I feel like I just want to curl up and die. I’m sorry. I’m so afraid that you’ll finally wake up and see that I’m not what you think I am. That the girl you remember is just…..gone. I can’t be her. I don’t know who I am anymore and I don’t remember who she was. Tess took everything that was important to that girl and destroyed it,” Liz stumbled to stop, her chest squeezing tight, choking off her breath as she tried to hold back her tears. “I wasn’t even there when Erin was born, I never felt them move, I never knew. How could I not know? Every memory that means anything to me has her in it somewhere. Now I can’t get rid of her. She’s still here making my life miserable. I dream about her all the time. I feel her more then I do you and she’s dead. That’s just wrong. There’s just something so wrong with me. How can you stand being here with me? I just keep failing, keep hurting you, pushing you away. I’m just damaged. I don’t feel any thing but cold.”
“That’s not true. I feel you,” Max burst out unable to sit still and watch her rip herself apart like this. “Liz, why didn’t you say something? Talk to me about this?”
“Every time her name comes up in any context you freeze up. Like I’m about to rehash all of the things you did. This isn’t about that. This isn’t about pointing a finger at you and blaming you for anything. It’s about how I feel. It’s about what Tess did to me, not what you did. You still aren’t hearing me,” Liz cried whirling around to face him. “I’m talking and you’re thinking ahead looking for what? What do expect me to say? What is it that you’re waiting to hear? Tell me so I can say it and get it over with. Then maybe you’ll hear what I’m actually saying. God! I feel like I’m talking to empty space. She did more then what happened between you in that observatory. How can you not see that? How can I talk to you when you can’t see it? All you think about is having sex with her. It’s like you don’t even register everything else that she did.”
“I register it. Believe me, and I don’t think about sex with her except in my nightmares. I feel responsible for what she did to you. Taking our children from you, putting you through that,” Max stopped and wiped a hand over his face. “I’m supposed to take care of you. I chose you and the only time I’ve ever regretted that was when Tess almost destroyed you. I love you, Liz. Then, now, tomorrow, and fifty years from now. Whether you think you’re damaged or not, I don’t see it that way. All I see is you, just as beautiful as always, stronger then before, I feel you when I’m brave enough to look. I’m sorry I left you like this. I didn’t realize what I was doing to you. I just didn’t want you to see things that would hurt you even more. I don’t want you to ever see those things in me, from me,” Max looked up at her feeling ashamed of his blindness. “Never again. I want to be here. This is the only place for me, the only place that makes sense to me. I just didn’t want to do anything to mess that up. How could I stand to be anywhere else? You are what I always dreamed about. Just you, exactly as you were, exactly as you are, and whatever you become in the future. I want to be there with you.”
“I’ve seen it already,” Liz reminded him. “I’ve seen your nightmares, I’ve seen the past, I’ve seen you, Max, and I stayed. I stay because I love you. I want this to last and I’ll suffer some hurt to work through this. I’ll do the work because I know you’re the one. What I can’t do is let this destroy both of us and drag our kids along too. We can’t stay here in this place, Max. I can’t. I can’t stand it anymore.”
“Come here,” Max requested softly, feeling her loneliness battering him with incredible force. It overwhelmed everything else he could feel from her, echoing in what felt like a void.
Liz moved back to the bed and took his outstretched hand, lacing their fingers together automatically. When he gave a tug, urging her closer, she crawled up to straddle his lap, looking him directly in the eye. She wouldn’t be a coward, she would face whatever he had to say and deal with it. It couldn’t be that much worse then she had already been through.
Looking into her shadowed eyes he was humbled by her trust. She didn’t hide her feelings of insecurity. Suddenly she looked vulnerable and very fragile, reminding him that she wasn’t so far removed from the girl she claimed was gone.
Liz watched him lean closer, surprised but held immobile by the look in his eyes. His mouth brushed over hers, lightly skimming, barely touching her as if he wasn’t sure of his welcome. She sighed against his lips then closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck as she rubbed her mouth against his, giving him the welcome he was seeking. His hands were so gentle, treating her as if she were breakable, one hand moving to the nape of her neck to hold her still. The other followed the line of her back, the curve of her hips, to settle possessively on her bottom as his mouth coaxed hers to respond.
When her mouth opened under him, her tongue tentatively touching his, Max deliberately thinned his walls. Not lowering them completely but allowing some things, the strongest things, to leak out. Her response was swift and volatile, her emotions surging up to meet him, even as she molded herself to his body. Nothing was hidden from him. He saw it all in that first rush of connection.
Having been so long without having any sense of him at all, she was unprepared for the sudden feel of him. Inhibitions crumbled in the face of the sudden intimacy and she opened herself even more to him, her desire to mend the ragged ties between them overcoming any sense of caution.
The lessening of the void inside her was an unexpected gift easing her fears, calming the yearning inside momentarily.
Cal waited for Liz to come out but finally had to knock when his patience ran out. “Liz? Open the door.”
Inside the bathroom Liz opened her eyes and stared at the door, hesitating before calling out. “It’s open.”
Cal glanced over to Max who was talking earnestly to the twins, then opened the door and walked in. “So you wanna tell me what’s going on?” Cal asked shutting the door behind himself.
“Do you have to protect the kids?” Liz asked from her spot perched on the edge of the tub, ignoring his question completely. “Is it just Max or them too?”
“The imperative would cover them too as possible seal barriers. Why?” Cal asked studying Liz closely.
“What sort of things do you have to respond to? Is it just physical harm or…other things too?” Liz asked not looking at him.
“The imperative didn’t kick in. That’s not why I’m here,” Cal said pointedly. “I’m here because you called me.”
Liz sighed and combed her fingers through her hair as tears threatened. “I’m sorry. I know you hate that.”
Seeing the glimmer of tears in her eyes he pushed away from the closed door. “I don’t sleep much anyway. Don’t need it,” Cal shrugged getting closer. “Kittens do though, so what has you up and calling for my special talents? Not that I don’t love to see His Majesty in his boxer briefs.”
Liz looked up at him and sniffed trying to smile. “He is cute huh?”
“Don’t try and bullshit a born bullshiter. So? What’s going on?” Cal asked cutting right to it.
Liz gave up on her pathetic attempt to hide her turmoil and met his eyes. “I need to know what to do to protect the twins from this. I can shield them most of the time but when I’m upset or….when I’m sleeping my guard drops and….”Liz waved her hand at the door. “You can see what happens then. Noah is so sensitive that he picks up on things even when I’m trying to block him. I can’t allow this. There has to be a way to shield them better. Protect them from….what’s happening.”
“As they grow they’ll build some defenses. We’re naturally telepathic when we’re young. Noah is different though,” Cal said thoughtfully. “His bond to you is strong. I suspect it’s because of what happened. What Tess did to him and to you. It forced him to forge strong bonds to survive. He had to use his gifts much earlier and at a higher level then most just to live. You are his anchor. You’re the first person he had a bond with, the one that connected to his pod, the one that was there when he was born. He felt you first and you showed him the way, stimulated his gifts, and gave him the will to survive and a sense of security. He’s a mama’s boy,” Cal shrugged. “He could do worse.”
“Cal, you’re not helping,” Liz said feeling her agitation grow. “The point is that he’s feeling things that he isn’t old enough to deal with. It’s scaring him. He’s worried all the time. This isn’t healthy.”
“No, it isn’t always but there’s a reason for it. That bond is as strong as it is for a reason. Why do you think that we have that ability? It’s not random,” Cal said putting the lid down on the toilet and sitting down. “Children aren’t equipped to protect themselves. Our species developed that ability as protection and the young are in special need of it. Noah and Erin in particular. They may have gifts but they aren’t skilled at using them yet. Their strongest gift right now is their ability to reach you and Max. Their parents. We’ll have to work on filtering a little better since his gifts are so strong but don’t shut him out. Max isn’t hearing you so I doubt he’d hear Noah,” Cal stopped, scowling for a moment as his thoughts strayed to Max briefly. “You’re more sensitive then Max is. To a lot of things. More open. We’ll work on it. Right now it isn’t Noah or Erin that I’m worried about. They aren’t calling for help.”
Liz sighed, fidgeting slightly under the weight of Cal’s appraisal. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t do it on purpose….at least not while I was awake. I just panicked. It was just a nightmare that’s all. Not anything I haven’t had before.”
“That’s not all,” Cal said, repressing his emotions to present a calm front when he felt anything but calm. “Kitten, don’t apologize for calling for help. That’s what I’m here for.”
“I’m not Max,” Liz said softly. “I have no right to intrude on your life with my problems. Yanking you out of bed in the middle of the night and shoving all this on you…..it’s not right. You’ve done enough for me. This isn’t an alien emergency or anything.”
“I’m not here because of the imperative. I’m here by choice,” Cal said both truthfully and slightly not. “There’s clearly a problem if you’re reaching out like that so let’s get to it. I know there’s a problem with the bond since Max hasn’t got a clue what’s going on. That can cause some serious problems. That it?”
“I don’t think I can do this,” Liz whispered. “We’re just….ripping each other apart. I thought….I thought I could….when we moved here but since we…..I love him so much but I’m just…..failing him, hurting him. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel so…..empty and it just never goes away. He’s been so patient with me,” Liz stopped as her headache picked up, responding to her rising emotions. Taking a deep breath she struggled for calm. “I just can’t seem to feel him anymore. There’s just this hole there.”
“You feel Noah and Erin right?” Cal asked knowing the answer. He wondered why her first response was always to assume the problem was all hers.
“Yes,” Liz nodded slowly then paused gnawing on her lower lip. “But they’re my children. I could never….abandon them, shut them out. It’s different with Max. Somehow, it’s just different. There’s all this….stuff between us. I don’t know how to get past all that stuff. I thought that if I just….opened up and waited he’d see that I trust him. I try not to shut him out. I try so hard but somehow I do. Sometimes, he looks at me like….he’s waiting for me to strike out at him or…I don’t know. Maybe he needs to just….let go and find someone that doesn’t have these problems. Clean slate,” Liz paused feeling her chest tighten at the very idea of him leaving. She rubbed her temple briefly, reminding herself that she wanted him to be happy and if leaving would give him that then he should go.
Cal could feel the increase in her distress as well as see it in her expression. “Max carries his problems with him where ever he goes. Leaving wouldn’t free him anymore then it would you. The emptiness you feel is the absence of him, of his essence. You’re far more sensitive to the lack of Unity then he is. You accepted him and made a place for him inside you that only he can fill. It’s how things are.”
“I don’t want to hurt him anymore,” Liz said softly. “I want so much to just….get over this and stop hurting him. I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want him to live like this either. But wanting it to change doesn’t make it happen. Everything I’ve tried just….fails.”
“You can’t fix everything by yourself. You’re human, Liz. That means you’re not perfect anymore then Max is. The bond isn’t of your making, you accepted it but he forged it. That means he has a part in repairing it. He’s doing his own share of damage here,” Cal said responding to her lost expression. It bothered him to see her so fragile. It was dangerous and just wrong. Bonds weren’t meant to destroy a person, it was supposed to be a source of strength. Clearly something was very very wrong here.
“Liz?” Max called knocking softly on the door.
“She’s busy,” Cal answered before Liz could.
“Cal,” Liz rebuked softly. “Don’t be mean to him. He’s had a hard day.”
Cal heaved a sigh shaking his head and getting to his feet. “You’re hopeless Kitten. I’m gonna go work on the young ones. At least with them I have a chance at getting through.”
Liz stood up and hugged him. “Thank you. For a bitter old shapeshifter….you’re really very sweet.”
Cal scowled but patted her back. “You’re a soft touch, Kitten. Despite everything. Look out for yourself sometimes.”
“I do,” Liz said brushing a kiss over his cheek.
“Deaf,” Cal muttered making for the door. “Both of you are just deaf to the sound of my voice.”
Liz ignored his familiar complaints as Max appeared in the doorway concern etched into his face. She didn’t notice Cal leaving, so absorbed in studying Max, looking for what she wasn’t even sure.
“Feeling better?” Max asked uncertainly. He searched her face, looking for clues to her thoughts.
“Yeah, look, I’m sorry about…..this. It was just….a dream and….I’m sorry,” Liz said feeling exposed and nervous.
“Tell me about it?” Max asked not openly disputing her claim but knowing this wasn’t a one-time thing. She’d been having nightmares for as long as they’d lived together.
“Umm you know, I think that it might not be such a good idea to get into it now. The kids are scared and….I’m not so good with the barriers tonight,” Liz said still feeling a little shaky, like she could burst into tears at any moment. She knew this discussion had scattered landmines throughout it and she wasn’t sure she could handle it with a clear head. Not with that dream still so fresh in her mind. The last thing she wanted was to hurt Max or the kids anymore then she knew she had already.
“Maybe you don’t need them. Cal can watch the kids and maybe this would help. If it’s upsetting you so much that Cal can feel you then it’s something we need to deal with,” Max said locking down on his own fears, getting ready for whatever was coming. She was miserable. It showed so vividly in her eyes that he wondered how he had missed it this long. He was worried for her, not just about her.
“But we don’t talk about this,” Liz whispered lifting her eyes to his. “We don’t ever talk about it.”
Max froze, his stomach twisting, sick with fear.
Tears filled Liz’s eyes as she looked away, not missing his expression, feeling the withdrawal it implied keenly. Drawing a shaky breath she held onto her wildly fluctuating emotions. This was exactly why they never talked about it. Max automatically took it as a sign that she hadn’t really forgiven him for the past. He didn’t really hear anything she said he was so busy looking for the accusation buried in her words. For proof that she still held the past against him and that wasn’t true. She’d been very careful to never throw it in his face in any disagreement they’d had since then and never brought it up at all in the context of his actions during that time. It was over…..but it wasn’t really. The effects of everything Tess had done to her were still very present but never talked about. Not really at the time and not afterwards. Ever.
“You dreamed about….Tess?” Max asked swallowing past the sick feeling in his gut as he watched her nod silently. “This happens a lot?”
“Yes,” Liz admitted her voice barely audible still looking at the floor.
“When did the dreams start?” Max asked, very afraid he knew the answer to that question.
“After we…Umm before we left for Paris actually,” Liz said forcing her eyes back to his and watching the impact of that statement in his eyes.
“Oh. I see,” Max said softly.
“Do you? I don’t think you do,” Liz said brushing past him and walking into the bedroom. “This isn’t about…..you and her. Not really.”
Max followed her into the room and sat next to her on the bed. “So what is it about?”
“I don’t know if I can explain it to you and have you understand,” Liz said softly drawing her knees up to her chest in a protective gesture. “I’m sorry. I just can’t. I don’t know how I just feel it. You don’t seem to feel things the way I do. She did things to us, Max, to me, that I just can’t seem to get over. I didn’t used to be like this. I remember being different, things being better, but now that just seems so out of reach. I’m sorry,” Liz breathed feeling ashamed and so alone, tears once more close to the surface.
Max scooted closer feeling the weight of her sorrow in his own chest. “Feel things like what? I don’t know what you mean.”
“I know you don’t,” Liz agreed softly. “I feel ashamed and lost. I feel empty inside. The one thing I never feel is you. No matter what I do or where I look I can’t find you.”
Max felt the punch of her words like a fist. Before he could speak she was uncurling and moving away from him.
“I used to feel you all the time. It didn’t matter how far away you were I could still feel you. Now it doesn’t seem to matter how close you are I feel empty. I know that we’re different in a lot of ways but this emptiness makes me afraid. It feels wrong. The dreams are part of that,” Liz glanced over her shoulder at Max then quickly looked away. “I know I can’t be what…..I can’t be like she was. I don’t want to be. I remember how it was when she was pushing us together and……I feel sick. Now I don’t know if what I remember is how it was or….if the first time was how I thought it was. What I know is that what I’m looking for isn’t there. I can’t touch it and I don’t feel it. I thought if I tried harder or let things just happen it would get better but it isn’t getting better. The dreams are worse and I feel like I just want to curl up and die. I’m sorry. I’m so afraid that you’ll finally wake up and see that I’m not what you think I am. That the girl you remember is just…..gone. I can’t be her. I don’t know who I am anymore and I don’t remember who she was. Tess took everything that was important to that girl and destroyed it,” Liz stumbled to stop, her chest squeezing tight, choking off her breath as she tried to hold back her tears. “I wasn’t even there when Erin was born, I never felt them move, I never knew. How could I not know? Every memory that means anything to me has her in it somewhere. Now I can’t get rid of her. She’s still here making my life miserable. I dream about her all the time. I feel her more then I do you and she’s dead. That’s just wrong. There’s just something so wrong with me. How can you stand being here with me? I just keep failing, keep hurting you, pushing you away. I’m just damaged. I don’t feel any thing but cold.”
“That’s not true. I feel you,” Max burst out unable to sit still and watch her rip herself apart like this. “Liz, why didn’t you say something? Talk to me about this?”
“Every time her name comes up in any context you freeze up. Like I’m about to rehash all of the things you did. This isn’t about that. This isn’t about pointing a finger at you and blaming you for anything. It’s about how I feel. It’s about what Tess did to me, not what you did. You still aren’t hearing me,” Liz cried whirling around to face him. “I’m talking and you’re thinking ahead looking for what? What do expect me to say? What is it that you’re waiting to hear? Tell me so I can say it and get it over with. Then maybe you’ll hear what I’m actually saying. God! I feel like I’m talking to empty space. She did more then what happened between you in that observatory. How can you not see that? How can I talk to you when you can’t see it? All you think about is having sex with her. It’s like you don’t even register everything else that she did.”
“I register it. Believe me, and I don’t think about sex with her except in my nightmares. I feel responsible for what she did to you. Taking our children from you, putting you through that,” Max stopped and wiped a hand over his face. “I’m supposed to take care of you. I chose you and the only time I’ve ever regretted that was when Tess almost destroyed you. I love you, Liz. Then, now, tomorrow, and fifty years from now. Whether you think you’re damaged or not, I don’t see it that way. All I see is you, just as beautiful as always, stronger then before, I feel you when I’m brave enough to look. I’m sorry I left you like this. I didn’t realize what I was doing to you. I just didn’t want you to see things that would hurt you even more. I don’t want you to ever see those things in me, from me,” Max looked up at her feeling ashamed of his blindness. “Never again. I want to be here. This is the only place for me, the only place that makes sense to me. I just didn’t want to do anything to mess that up. How could I stand to be anywhere else? You are what I always dreamed about. Just you, exactly as you were, exactly as you are, and whatever you become in the future. I want to be there with you.”
“I’ve seen it already,” Liz reminded him. “I’ve seen your nightmares, I’ve seen the past, I’ve seen you, Max, and I stayed. I stay because I love you. I want this to last and I’ll suffer some hurt to work through this. I’ll do the work because I know you’re the one. What I can’t do is let this destroy both of us and drag our kids along too. We can’t stay here in this place, Max. I can’t. I can’t stand it anymore.”
“Come here,” Max requested softly, feeling her loneliness battering him with incredible force. It overwhelmed everything else he could feel from her, echoing in what felt like a void.
Liz moved back to the bed and took his outstretched hand, lacing their fingers together automatically. When he gave a tug, urging her closer, she crawled up to straddle his lap, looking him directly in the eye. She wouldn’t be a coward, she would face whatever he had to say and deal with it. It couldn’t be that much worse then she had already been through.
Looking into her shadowed eyes he was humbled by her trust. She didn’t hide her feelings of insecurity. Suddenly she looked vulnerable and very fragile, reminding him that she wasn’t so far removed from the girl she claimed was gone.
Liz watched him lean closer, surprised but held immobile by the look in his eyes. His mouth brushed over hers, lightly skimming, barely touching her as if he wasn’t sure of his welcome. She sighed against his lips then closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck as she rubbed her mouth against his, giving him the welcome he was seeking. His hands were so gentle, treating her as if she were breakable, one hand moving to the nape of her neck to hold her still. The other followed the line of her back, the curve of her hips, to settle possessively on her bottom as his mouth coaxed hers to respond.
When her mouth opened under him, her tongue tentatively touching his, Max deliberately thinned his walls. Not lowering them completely but allowing some things, the strongest things, to leak out. Her response was swift and volatile, her emotions surging up to meet him, even as she molded herself to his body. Nothing was hidden from him. He saw it all in that first rush of connection.
Having been so long without having any sense of him at all, she was unprepared for the sudden feel of him. Inhibitions crumbled in the face of the sudden intimacy and she opened herself even more to him, her desire to mend the ragged ties between them overcoming any sense of caution.
The lessening of the void inside her was an unexpected gift easing her fears, calming the yearning inside momentarily.
Chapter Thriteen
Chapter Thirteen
“So. Let’s get in the bed huh?” Cal said clapping his hands together. Erin jumped at the loud noise and Noah just stared back at him silently, his eyes huge and scared. “Alright. Hop up and we’ll talk okay? Mom’s gonna be okay but she’s picky about this sleep thing so….up.”
Erin picked up Pepe and did as Cal asked, hugging the small dog close and softly stroking his large silky ears.
“Awre da monsters hwere?” Noah asked fearfully. “Dat why Mommy sick?”
“Mommy just had a bad dream that scared her but let’s talk more about those monsters,” Cal said sitting on the edge of the bed and lifting Noah up next to Erin. “Tell me about them. Do you see them only when you’re sleeping?”
“No,” Noah answered shaking his head. “Sometime I can fweel dem odder times. Dey coming hwere for my Mommy.”
“What do they look like?” Cal asked calmly.
Noah’s brow furrowed as he tried to put together his words. “Some yook yike people but dey not. Inside is not da same. Da uver one, da one dat yikes my Mommy, he not a man. He not wearing da suit ta yook yike a man. He wanna see what Mommy yikes first.”
Cal struggled to keep his alarm from showing as he listened. “Where is he?”
Noah pointed up toward the ceiling silently.
“Great,” Cal muttered gruffly. “Visitors, wonderful. Does he know you can see him?”
Noah shook his head, a little uncertain but he didn’t think the monster knew. “He too busy wit Mommy ta see I tink.”
“Busy with Mommy how?” Cal asked sending soothing vibrations of emotion through his hand on Noah’s leg in an effort to keep him calm enough to continue.
“He umm he watching her. He always listening, rweaching for her. He wanna know everyting. What she yike and don’t, what make her cry and laugh. He wanna take her away,” Noah wailed fear at never seeing her again bringing tears to his eyes.
“Noah, your mommy loves you both more then anything. She won’t leave you no matter what,” Cal said softly.
“What if da monster take her?” Erin asked. “What if he grab her and run away?”
“Let me tell you about your mom,” Cal said shifting to better see both of the twins. Looking at them side by side, with both of them looking back at him with wide trusting eyes, he was suddenly struck by the fact that to them he was Uncle Cal. A part of their family. How odd. “When you were very little and still in your pods, hidden away by some monsters, your mom felt Erin from miles and miles away. She followed that feeling until she found you, Erin. She loved you before you were even born. She took you from that place and watched over you, finally bringing you all the way to California to keep you safe,” Cal said, and placing one hand on each of the twins legs, he showed them his memory of when Liz had first showed up at his house in LA. Their wide curious eyes encouraged him to continue his impromptu story. “Then, once she was sure Erin was safe, she figured out a plan to get Noah back from the evil horrible Tess monster. She traded herself for your Grandma and found Javen and you, Noah. She stayed with you, caring for you until after you were born. When the monster stole you away your mom and dad fought hard to find you. Even though the nasty evil Tess monster told them you were dead. So you see, even if another monster comes, your mom loves you so much that she can find you anywhere. If they try to steal her away she will always find you so don’t worry about that,” Cal assured them.
“Daddy too?” Erin asked.
“Yes, your daddy too,” Cal agreed.
“But da one monster wanna take her far away. Where it dark and scary,” Noah told Cal. “He wanna keep her. She my mommy I getta keep her. He don’t eben call her mommy.”
Cal smiled at Noah’s offended tone. “Well he wouldn’t call her mommy since she isn’t his mommy. He’d call her by her name.”
“No, he call her someting else. Nointed sometime and sometime a word I dowt know what it is,” Noah explained.
“Anointed?” Cal asked his eyes sharpening.
“Dat what I said,” Noah replied impatiently. “He tink she in trowble here and he wanna take her away. He dowt yike Daddy and dowt tink he taking carwe of her yike he suposta. He verwy anwgry.”
“What kind of trouble?” Cal asked increasing the stream of soothing energy he was sending to both twins.
Noah looked down at the blanket silently, not wanting to answer. If he said it, it might happen.
“She gonna get hurwt,” Erin spoke up glancing at Noah.
“No! She not eiver! I watchen,” Noah burst out elbowing Erin.
“Owe! Dat hurwt Noah!” Erin said and pushed him causing Pepe to run for cover.
“Stop,” Cal said firmly before they could really start fighting. Focusing on Erin he asked another question. “Hurt how?”
“Dunno,” Erin shrugged. “Noah can’t see dat part. Da monster in da sky afrwaid for Mommy. Dat sumthing happen to her bewfore he get ta her.”
“Da ober ones are doing bad stuff. Dey gonna make a bad ting dat get Aunt Maria sick. I tink dey gonna do sumting to Mommy,” Noah said still glaring at Erin.
Erin looked at Noah and nodded. She wouldn’t say anything else since Noah didn’t want her to. She didn’t like it when he was mad at her. “Anuder story now? Pwease?”
Cal looked between the children sensing their silent communication and decided to let this rest for now. Liz would kill him if he upset them and gave them nightmares again. He’d talk to Max and Liz. They’d have to start working with the children right away. Then maybe they’d find out more. Mentally shuffling his schedule, he made room for an extended stay in the lovely town of Roswell. “Sure, what kind of story? I know all kinds.”
Liz made a soft sound of pain at the sudden welling of the void inside her. A sharp stabbing pain flared through her head as Max broke away from her, closing off so suddenly she was left gasping and disoriented.
“Max?” Liz asked as Max lifted her off of him and got up. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” Max asked stunned by what he’d seen. “I saw them. The dreams. Is that really what you think? Is that how you see it?”
“Max, they’re dreams,” Liz pointed out rubbing at her forehead as the sharp pains gradually dulled to pervasive throbbing sensation.
“They’re your dreams. Your memories of…Liz it wasn’t like that,” Max protested feeling his stomach twist with warring emotion. Seeing those dreams and feeling Liz’s feelings about them shook him badly. They were in direct conflict with his memories, not in the details of what happened, but in how they were viewed.
“Okay,” Liz agreed her eyes dropping to the carpet.
“No. Not okay,” Max said upset. “This is not okay!”
“What do you want me to say?” Liz responded eyes still on the floor. “No, it’s not okay. So what? That doesn’t change anything. Does it?”
“How can you say that! How can you think…” Max broke off and shoved his fingers through his hair. “Today….you…God Liz!”
Liz could feel the urge to shut down increase as Max’s pacing picked up speed. She resisted, swallowing back her ingrained desire to hide from her embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” Liz whispered softly, her chest tightening with knowledge that she had hurt him.
“Don’t. Just don’t,” Max said as he tried to process things, to absorb the change in perception this new knowledge gave him. He held on tight to his churning emotions not wanting her to feel his complete and utter shocked horror. That she would question the things she did hurt.
Liz bit down on her lip to still its trembling as tears welled up her eyes. She was so tired. Too tired for this. “I really tried to….do better but…I try to not think about the other times but then I’m trying so hard to not think that I end up thinking even harder. I get scared. I can’t help it.”
Max stopped dead in his tracks and went back to her. Dropping down in front of her when she wouldn’t look at him. “Liz, don’t. Don’t cry okay? I’m not…Ahh shit. I’m not doing so good here,” Max commented mentally kicking himself. “Let’s just….talk about this okay? So I can understand what’s going on here.”
“Max, how can I make you understand when you don’t see this the way I do? To you it’s all good. It doesn’t matter that Tess….but to me….it’s different. Everything is different,” Liz said struggling to explain something that she KNEW he wouldn’t understand. It was like trying to explain color to a blind person. “It just is.”
“What does that mean? To me it’s all good? It’s not all good,” Max protested.
Liz sighed and pulled away from him, scooting into the center of the bed. “I don’t want to fight. My head hurts and I’m so tired. I’m not accusing you of anything okay? They’re my feelings and you didn’t cause them. I’m not..blaming you I’m just….trying to..” Liz sighed wishing this conversation was just over.
“I’m not fighting. I just don’t understand why you would…..think that way. I don’t understand why you’d…If you don’t want to have sex why would you…” Max said flustered and stumbling to recover his senses enough to discuss this new problem. Or not new, actually. God!
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Liz spoke when Max trailed off. “Every time I think it’ll be different and you want to so….I try to make it different. I just want to be close to you and feel….something. I remember feeling that way before, like we were connected. I think I do anyway,” Liz said pausing to crawl to the edge of the bed. “I’m not afraid of you. I know you’d never hurt me. It’s not that. I love it when you touch me but….it changes when we…..I just feel this hole inside and I start to panic. I can’t explain it better then that.”
Max stayed silent for moment thinking hard before he looked up and met her eyes. “When does it change?”
Liz searched his eyes for a moment trying to gauge whether to answer him or not. Finally she sucked in her breath holding it for a second, while she gathered her courage, before answering him. “When I know we’re about to have sex. It’s not any one thing you do, Max. It’s not…like that. It isn’t you at all really.”
“So kissing is fine?” Max asked ignoring her claim that it wasn’t him. It obviously was him.
“Uh huh,” Liz agreed wanting to reach out and touch him but afraid to after his earlier reaction. “You know it is. I kiss you all the time. I’m not afraid to have you touch me either, it’s just that when we have sex you’re off somewhere different. Somewhere I can’t reach you. I don’t want to feel like I’m having sex with some guy. I want to feel you. I want to know its you because I feel you,” Liz tried to explain while carefully editing her thoughts. Honesty was fine but if she told him all of what she thought and felt he’d close up so tight she’d never reach him. He’d seen all of three seconds of it and he’d freaked. She didn’t feel like he did anything to deliberately hurt her feelings. He just wasn’t feeling the same way she was. She was being extremely careful to not discuss her doubts based on what happened with Tess. One step at a time, feeling Max would go a long way to sorting the rest out.
“Okay,” Max said softly moving onto the bed. He settled back against the pillows feeling better when Liz moved up to rest against him. He trailed his fingers over her hand where it rested on his abdomen while thinning down his inner walls. When Liz sighed softly he gently kissed her hair. “How’s your head?”
“Better,” Liz answered relieved that he was letting their conversation go for now. She didn’t think she could take much more tonight.
Feeling the tension in her shoulders, he lightly rubbed his hand over her tense muscles sending out a stream of soothing warmth, while his mind turned over their conversation and the things still churning around in his head.
Liz cuddled closer feeling her eyes grow heavy as the tension gradually seeped out of her. Her fingers absently stroked his stomach as her breathing evened out and she drifted along the edges of sleep.
When Pepe jumped up on the bed Liz opened her eyes and watched him circle around, burrowing under the covers and making a warm comfortable nest. Her last thought before she fell asleep was to wonder how long it would take Erin and Noah to follow Pepe.
When Cal poked his head back into the bedroom he found Max wearing a troubled expression and Liz sound asleep.
“She okay?” Cal asked from the doorway.
“I think so,” Max answered for lack of better one.
“I’m gonna take off but we need to talk tomorrow,” Cal stated quietly. “Call me when you’re up and ready.”
“Okay,” Max agreed. “The kids asleep?”
“Erin is,” Cal said a smile tilting his mouth. “Noah will be in as soon as I leave I’d bet.”
“Thanks for….keeping them busy,” Max said glancing down when Liz moved restlessly. Softly stroking her hair and letting his fingers sink into the silky mass to lightly massage her neck.
“Sure, telling stories is old hat. See you both tomorrow,” Cal said and ducked back out his mind racing a mile a minute. Looking for solutions to the coming problems.
“So. Let’s get in the bed huh?” Cal said clapping his hands together. Erin jumped at the loud noise and Noah just stared back at him silently, his eyes huge and scared. “Alright. Hop up and we’ll talk okay? Mom’s gonna be okay but she’s picky about this sleep thing so….up.”
Erin picked up Pepe and did as Cal asked, hugging the small dog close and softly stroking his large silky ears.
“Awre da monsters hwere?” Noah asked fearfully. “Dat why Mommy sick?”
“Mommy just had a bad dream that scared her but let’s talk more about those monsters,” Cal said sitting on the edge of the bed and lifting Noah up next to Erin. “Tell me about them. Do you see them only when you’re sleeping?”
“No,” Noah answered shaking his head. “Sometime I can fweel dem odder times. Dey coming hwere for my Mommy.”
“What do they look like?” Cal asked calmly.
Noah’s brow furrowed as he tried to put together his words. “Some yook yike people but dey not. Inside is not da same. Da uver one, da one dat yikes my Mommy, he not a man. He not wearing da suit ta yook yike a man. He wanna see what Mommy yikes first.”
Cal struggled to keep his alarm from showing as he listened. “Where is he?”
Noah pointed up toward the ceiling silently.
“Great,” Cal muttered gruffly. “Visitors, wonderful. Does he know you can see him?”
Noah shook his head, a little uncertain but he didn’t think the monster knew. “He too busy wit Mommy ta see I tink.”
“Busy with Mommy how?” Cal asked sending soothing vibrations of emotion through his hand on Noah’s leg in an effort to keep him calm enough to continue.
“He umm he watching her. He always listening, rweaching for her. He wanna know everyting. What she yike and don’t, what make her cry and laugh. He wanna take her away,” Noah wailed fear at never seeing her again bringing tears to his eyes.
“Noah, your mommy loves you both more then anything. She won’t leave you no matter what,” Cal said softly.
“What if da monster take her?” Erin asked. “What if he grab her and run away?”
“Let me tell you about your mom,” Cal said shifting to better see both of the twins. Looking at them side by side, with both of them looking back at him with wide trusting eyes, he was suddenly struck by the fact that to them he was Uncle Cal. A part of their family. How odd. “When you were very little and still in your pods, hidden away by some monsters, your mom felt Erin from miles and miles away. She followed that feeling until she found you, Erin. She loved you before you were even born. She took you from that place and watched over you, finally bringing you all the way to California to keep you safe,” Cal said, and placing one hand on each of the twins legs, he showed them his memory of when Liz had first showed up at his house in LA. Their wide curious eyes encouraged him to continue his impromptu story. “Then, once she was sure Erin was safe, she figured out a plan to get Noah back from the evil horrible Tess monster. She traded herself for your Grandma and found Javen and you, Noah. She stayed with you, caring for you until after you were born. When the monster stole you away your mom and dad fought hard to find you. Even though the nasty evil Tess monster told them you were dead. So you see, even if another monster comes, your mom loves you so much that she can find you anywhere. If they try to steal her away she will always find you so don’t worry about that,” Cal assured them.
“Daddy too?” Erin asked.
“Yes, your daddy too,” Cal agreed.
“But da one monster wanna take her far away. Where it dark and scary,” Noah told Cal. “He wanna keep her. She my mommy I getta keep her. He don’t eben call her mommy.”
Cal smiled at Noah’s offended tone. “Well he wouldn’t call her mommy since she isn’t his mommy. He’d call her by her name.”
“No, he call her someting else. Nointed sometime and sometime a word I dowt know what it is,” Noah explained.
“Anointed?” Cal asked his eyes sharpening.
“Dat what I said,” Noah replied impatiently. “He tink she in trowble here and he wanna take her away. He dowt yike Daddy and dowt tink he taking carwe of her yike he suposta. He verwy anwgry.”
“What kind of trouble?” Cal asked increasing the stream of soothing energy he was sending to both twins.
Noah looked down at the blanket silently, not wanting to answer. If he said it, it might happen.
“She gonna get hurwt,” Erin spoke up glancing at Noah.
“No! She not eiver! I watchen,” Noah burst out elbowing Erin.
“Owe! Dat hurwt Noah!” Erin said and pushed him causing Pepe to run for cover.
“Stop,” Cal said firmly before they could really start fighting. Focusing on Erin he asked another question. “Hurt how?”
“Dunno,” Erin shrugged. “Noah can’t see dat part. Da monster in da sky afrwaid for Mommy. Dat sumthing happen to her bewfore he get ta her.”
“Da ober ones are doing bad stuff. Dey gonna make a bad ting dat get Aunt Maria sick. I tink dey gonna do sumting to Mommy,” Noah said still glaring at Erin.
Erin looked at Noah and nodded. She wouldn’t say anything else since Noah didn’t want her to. She didn’t like it when he was mad at her. “Anuder story now? Pwease?”
Cal looked between the children sensing their silent communication and decided to let this rest for now. Liz would kill him if he upset them and gave them nightmares again. He’d talk to Max and Liz. They’d have to start working with the children right away. Then maybe they’d find out more. Mentally shuffling his schedule, he made room for an extended stay in the lovely town of Roswell. “Sure, what kind of story? I know all kinds.”
Liz made a soft sound of pain at the sudden welling of the void inside her. A sharp stabbing pain flared through her head as Max broke away from her, closing off so suddenly she was left gasping and disoriented.
“Max?” Liz asked as Max lifted her off of him and got up. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” Max asked stunned by what he’d seen. “I saw them. The dreams. Is that really what you think? Is that how you see it?”
“Max, they’re dreams,” Liz pointed out rubbing at her forehead as the sharp pains gradually dulled to pervasive throbbing sensation.
“They’re your dreams. Your memories of…Liz it wasn’t like that,” Max protested feeling his stomach twist with warring emotion. Seeing those dreams and feeling Liz’s feelings about them shook him badly. They were in direct conflict with his memories, not in the details of what happened, but in how they were viewed.
“Okay,” Liz agreed her eyes dropping to the carpet.
“No. Not okay,” Max said upset. “This is not okay!”
“What do you want me to say?” Liz responded eyes still on the floor. “No, it’s not okay. So what? That doesn’t change anything. Does it?”
“How can you say that! How can you think…” Max broke off and shoved his fingers through his hair. “Today….you…God Liz!”
Liz could feel the urge to shut down increase as Max’s pacing picked up speed. She resisted, swallowing back her ingrained desire to hide from her embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” Liz whispered softly, her chest tightening with knowledge that she had hurt him.
“Don’t. Just don’t,” Max said as he tried to process things, to absorb the change in perception this new knowledge gave him. He held on tight to his churning emotions not wanting her to feel his complete and utter shocked horror. That she would question the things she did hurt.
Liz bit down on her lip to still its trembling as tears welled up her eyes. She was so tired. Too tired for this. “I really tried to….do better but…I try to not think about the other times but then I’m trying so hard to not think that I end up thinking even harder. I get scared. I can’t help it.”
Max stopped dead in his tracks and went back to her. Dropping down in front of her when she wouldn’t look at him. “Liz, don’t. Don’t cry okay? I’m not…Ahh shit. I’m not doing so good here,” Max commented mentally kicking himself. “Let’s just….talk about this okay? So I can understand what’s going on here.”
“Max, how can I make you understand when you don’t see this the way I do? To you it’s all good. It doesn’t matter that Tess….but to me….it’s different. Everything is different,” Liz said struggling to explain something that she KNEW he wouldn’t understand. It was like trying to explain color to a blind person. “It just is.”
“What does that mean? To me it’s all good? It’s not all good,” Max protested.
Liz sighed and pulled away from him, scooting into the center of the bed. “I don’t want to fight. My head hurts and I’m so tired. I’m not accusing you of anything okay? They’re my feelings and you didn’t cause them. I’m not..blaming you I’m just….trying to..” Liz sighed wishing this conversation was just over.
“I’m not fighting. I just don’t understand why you would…..think that way. I don’t understand why you’d…If you don’t want to have sex why would you…” Max said flustered and stumbling to recover his senses enough to discuss this new problem. Or not new, actually. God!
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Liz spoke when Max trailed off. “Every time I think it’ll be different and you want to so….I try to make it different. I just want to be close to you and feel….something. I remember feeling that way before, like we were connected. I think I do anyway,” Liz said pausing to crawl to the edge of the bed. “I’m not afraid of you. I know you’d never hurt me. It’s not that. I love it when you touch me but….it changes when we…..I just feel this hole inside and I start to panic. I can’t explain it better then that.”
Max stayed silent for moment thinking hard before he looked up and met her eyes. “When does it change?”
Liz searched his eyes for a moment trying to gauge whether to answer him or not. Finally she sucked in her breath holding it for a second, while she gathered her courage, before answering him. “When I know we’re about to have sex. It’s not any one thing you do, Max. It’s not…like that. It isn’t you at all really.”
“So kissing is fine?” Max asked ignoring her claim that it wasn’t him. It obviously was him.
“Uh huh,” Liz agreed wanting to reach out and touch him but afraid to after his earlier reaction. “You know it is. I kiss you all the time. I’m not afraid to have you touch me either, it’s just that when we have sex you’re off somewhere different. Somewhere I can’t reach you. I don’t want to feel like I’m having sex with some guy. I want to feel you. I want to know its you because I feel you,” Liz tried to explain while carefully editing her thoughts. Honesty was fine but if she told him all of what she thought and felt he’d close up so tight she’d never reach him. He’d seen all of three seconds of it and he’d freaked. She didn’t feel like he did anything to deliberately hurt her feelings. He just wasn’t feeling the same way she was. She was being extremely careful to not discuss her doubts based on what happened with Tess. One step at a time, feeling Max would go a long way to sorting the rest out.
“Okay,” Max said softly moving onto the bed. He settled back against the pillows feeling better when Liz moved up to rest against him. He trailed his fingers over her hand where it rested on his abdomen while thinning down his inner walls. When Liz sighed softly he gently kissed her hair. “How’s your head?”
“Better,” Liz answered relieved that he was letting their conversation go for now. She didn’t think she could take much more tonight.
Feeling the tension in her shoulders, he lightly rubbed his hand over her tense muscles sending out a stream of soothing warmth, while his mind turned over their conversation and the things still churning around in his head.
Liz cuddled closer feeling her eyes grow heavy as the tension gradually seeped out of her. Her fingers absently stroked his stomach as her breathing evened out and she drifted along the edges of sleep.
When Pepe jumped up on the bed Liz opened her eyes and watched him circle around, burrowing under the covers and making a warm comfortable nest. Her last thought before she fell asleep was to wonder how long it would take Erin and Noah to follow Pepe.
When Cal poked his head back into the bedroom he found Max wearing a troubled expression and Liz sound asleep.
“She okay?” Cal asked from the doorway.
“I think so,” Max answered for lack of better one.
“I’m gonna take off but we need to talk tomorrow,” Cal stated quietly. “Call me when you’re up and ready.”
“Okay,” Max agreed. “The kids asleep?”
“Erin is,” Cal said a smile tilting his mouth. “Noah will be in as soon as I leave I’d bet.”
“Thanks for….keeping them busy,” Max said glancing down when Liz moved restlessly. Softly stroking her hair and letting his fingers sink into the silky mass to lightly massage her neck.
“Sure, telling stories is old hat. See you both tomorrow,” Cal said and ducked back out his mind racing a mile a minute. Looking for solutions to the coming problems.
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
Maria found Liz in the backyard and just watched her stabbing the earth repeatedly, dirt flying with every motion of her arm.
“Okay Liz. Put the shovel down and back away from the flower bed,” Maria said placing her hands on her hips.
“What are you doing here?” Liz asked not even pausing in her task.
“That’s a warm welcome,” Maria muttered to herself. “When Max stopped by and said he was on the way to his parents with the kids I thought I’d stop by and…..Seriously Liz. You’re scaring me with the shovel thing,” Maria remarked.
Liz stopped and turned to look at Maria. “Grill me until I cracked?”
“No, of course not,” Maria refuted strolling closer. “Can’t I come by to chat? Catch up with any new happenings in each others lives?”
Liz arched her eyebrow at Maria, not at all fooled. Subtle wasn’t Maria’s forte. “Really? What could possibly be new in my life? The dog peed on the rug this morning. Oh! I know! I got the new Science Digest in the mail today.”
“Funny,” Maria said watching as Liz wiped her hands on the back of her shorts and stood up. “You are in a mood today aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry,” Liz sighed. “It’s just….stuff. So. Do I get a beverage during my interrogation or is this more the bare bulb and wickedly uncomfortable chair kind of thing?”
“Please feel free to get anything that will put you in a better mood,” Maria drawled following Liz inside. She watched silently as Liz poured two glasses of juice and took hers without comment, following Liz to the kitchen table.
“Where’s Michael?” Liz asked taking a sip of her drink.
“With Max,” Maria answered. “They’re discussing what Cal told you guys this morning.”
“Great,” Liz answered thinking it was nice that Max was talking to somebody.
“Uh huh, so? What did Cal say?” Maria asked.
“That the Skins are coming to do something to me and some other alien, presumably Kivar, is coming to…do something I probably won’t like,” Liz shrugged. “So what else is new? How’s everything with you?”
“Flippant and short tempered,” Maria observed. “Nice combo. You could be me.”
“Thanks,” Liz said then smiled. “The last couple of days have sucked. I’m just about ready to say to hell with all of this and join a commune. I wouldn’t even have to rename Erin I could just start calling her Lotus.”
“That’s a plus,” Maria agreed nodding. “I knew that middle name would come in handy.”
“Yeah, I’ll have to think up a new name for myself though. Liz just doesn’t fit with my envisioned lifestyle. Any ideas?” Liz asked then took another drink.
“Rain? Or maybe that name you liked…what was it? Sparrow? No….Umm Wren! That’s it,” Maria said snapping her fingers.
“Yeah,” Liz said smiling and sitting back in her chair. “That sounds nice today.”
“I don’t know Liz. You don’t seem like the free love type to me,” Maria observed.
“No?” Liz asked her smile wilting slightly.
“No,” Maria said wondering what the hell was going on here.
“Funny. I have the children out of wedlock,” Liz mused. “But I don’t suppose alien mindwarping and subsequent poding is really part of the free love experience huh?”
“No, I think that defies description,” Maria agreed.
“Yeah,” Liz said making designs on the table with the wet rings made by her glass. “That’s my life. Defying description daily.”
“Okay, I suggest we start with yesterday because I am so lost here,” Maria said setting her glass aside and concentrating on Liz.
“Right, okay. You must want to know if you’re plan to get Max laid worked out. Well, it did, only probably not how you thought it would, followed by a tense and miserable evening with my parents. Then when I thought my day was over I wake the whole house and then some with a nightmare that inspired the most horrible conversation with Max since the one where he told me about sleeping with Tess. Yeah, so, I woke up and he was gone. Running or whatever and didn’t come back until after ten when Cal was already here and mad enough to steam the wallpaper off my bathroom walls. Then we had a lovely chat about aliens and Anointed ones….shit basically, after which Max took the kids, leaving me a note on the kitchen table saying they were going out to his parents. So, right now he’s, like, seriously pissing me off, Cal’s in hyper overdrive about this whole alien invasion thing as if I don’t have enough going on, and my dad got me a VW bus to drive that I can’t even see over the steering wheel but would come in handy with a booster seat in my new life as Wren the newest member of a commune or cult of some sort. Don’t you think?” Liz asked then took another sip of her juice.
Maria blinked in astonishment. “That is like the longest speech without breathing that I have ever heard out of you. Wow. I’m impressed.”
“Thank you,” Liz replied.
“Alright. So? The sex was?” Maria asked getting right to it.
“Tied for the worst part of my day, second only to the discussion about the sex that finished off my day,” Liz said then paused. “Gee it’s sort of hard to decide which is worse. The sex or the nightmare about Tess and sex all rolled into one horrible package.”
Maria’s mouth dropped open, shock painted across her face.
“What? You expected to hear something else?” Liz asked quirking her eyebrow skyward.
“Well…..yeah,” Maria finally managed.
“Then I guess I can add you to the growing list of people I’m disappointing,” Liz said flippantly when she felt anything but.
“But….But you guys are like the most affectionate couple I can think of,” Maria protested.
“See, there’s where your logic is flawed. You’re equating sex and affection and they are not the same thing,” Liz pointed out.
“Okay?” Maria asked feeling like she had fallen down a rabbit hole instead of stepping into Liz’s kitchen.
“Example. Why do you think that Max could have sex with Tess one day then hesitate to hold her hand the very next day?” Liz asked watching Maria over the rim of her glass as she took a drink.
“I get it,” Maria nodded. “But you are not Tess.”
“No, I’m not,” Liz agreed. “But Max IS Max.”
“Explain this please?” Maria asked her head starting to hurt as she struggled to follow Liz.
“Sex has very little to do with real feeling, at least for some people. It’s an expression of it sometimes but it can also express other things. Max just….he goes to this place, I don’t even think he sees me. It’s like….all I can feel are flashes of lust, I guess, no real sense of Max. It’s just….empty and it swallows me. I have to fight to just….breathe. I wonder sometimes what he feels. He guards himself so tightly I have no idea what he’s thinking or feeling. He could be a complete stranger,” Liz tried to sort out her thoughts. “I hate it. Then of course there’s what Tess did. There are no words to accurately express my feelings about that. I have nightmares to this day about it. It’s a combination of things that are all coming from the same time period but are not the same. Sex is largely mental and I’m just not in the same place that Max is. I’m not even in shouting distance of that place and really, I’m just not sure that I want to be. I’m not sure where he is,” Liz admitted softly. “I know where he is when he touches me though. I can see him just filling his eyes when he looks at me. I don’t feel like I’m with a stranger then. It’s Max and he really sees me. Why there’s such a vast difference I couldn’t tell you, but there is a difference.”
“So this is about him sleeping with Tess? Still?” Maria asked surprised.
“No, you’re missing the point, Maria,” Liz denied. “This is about me and how I feel. Or don’t feel depending. I don’t feel Max. At all. It’s like when Tess mindwarped us into having sex. It’s empty and just….. not me. I don’t…..I don’t have sex with strangers. The sex isn’t what’s important to me. I need more then that.”
“Okay, let me get this straight. You love Max. He loves you but somehow having sex with him is having sex with a stranger?” Maria asked truly confused.
“It feels that way,” Liz admitted. “I can hide from that feeling most of the time but not when I’m with him like that. Sex just shouldn’t make me feel empty and more alone then I am normally. It shouldn’t make me wonder what Max is thinking or feeling. It shouldn’t make me wonder if it’s really him.”
“What do you mean?” Maria asked.
Liz shook her head sorting through her thoughts. “I tell myself that Max loves me but I don’t feel it. He tells me but I don’t feel it and I really don’t feel it when we have sex. So what am I supposed to do? I’ve tried everything I can think of. I’ve tried to talk to him but he gets upset. I’ve tried to change myself by keeping my walls down and making myself do one thing a day to take a step closer to my goal. I took a huge chance coming back here and asking Max to try this living together thing and now I wonder if I can do it. I have tried to ignore that feeling during sex but it smothers me. I’m destroying my family. Noah is a wreak and Max is so unhappy he’s avoiding me. Erin is upset and following Noah into our bed every night. I’m being crushed under the weight of all of this. The dreams just get worse, Noah just gets more and more upset pulling Erin along with him, and Max just…He just gets farther away. At least before the move I got peeks inside him.”
“Hold up,” Maria said putting up her hand in stop gesture. “Noah’s problems are slightly more then just feeling the tension between you and Max. You’re not to blame for that. Max is Max, as you’ve so eloquently pointed out, and maybe part of the problem with him is…well…him. Plus, you have to add in this bond thing and repercussions from his feelings about you, Tess, and the mindwarping. Just a suggestion,” Maria shrugged. She let her eyes roam over Liz’s tense lost expression and hoped she was listening. She thanked god Michael was not this complicated because she’d have killed him by now. Liz was more patient then she was. Must be the overachiever in her, Liz hated to fail. At anything. “I mean you aren’t to blame for everything on earth after all.”
“I’m sure if I had enough time I could debate that with you,” Liz replied a flicker of a smile crossing her face.
“I’m not likely to give you that time,” Maria pointed out. “We have other things to do.”
“Like what?” Liz asked.
“Girl time,” Maria chirped. “Now that Max has the kids we’re running away for the day. Let him deal with it. That’ll teach him to avoid you. Plus, when he gets the bill for girl time…well that’s a whole other kind of lesson.”
“That’s the best idea I’ve heard today. Let’s go,” Liz admitted perking up. “I’ve missed girl time.”
“We do have years to catch up on. Fashions have changed, stores have closed, and most importantly new ones have opened. There could be the perfect thing out there just calling you to come buy it and take it home. You could fall in love today. In front of my very eyes,” Maria mused.
“I’m always open to change,” Liz agreed getting up and heading down the hall. “Just give me two minutes.”
“Look Max, it’s Liz naked,” Michael said and smiled when Max’s head popped up. “Just checking to see if you can actually hear the words that are coming out of my mouth. Score. You heard me.”
Max fastened his glare on Michael irked by his unwelcome chatter.
“I know you’re going for a record on the brooding but I’ve seen this. In high school remember?” Michael asked quirking an eyebrow at Max. “Years and years of brooding. I thought now that you slept in the same bed with the reason for the brooding it would negate the need to brood.”
“Funny how life works out isn’t it?” Max asked sarcastically.
“Oookay,” Michael said eyeing Max. “Someone needs a nap and it’s not the twins.”
Max sighed and leaned back on his parent’s couch. “Sorry.”
“No sweat,” Michael said brushing off Max’s shitty mood. “Reading between the lines I take it that your day with Liz didn’t work out like you hoped it would. Big surprise there. She must have learned the word no at a very early age.”
“Shut up, Michael,” Max said glaring at him.
“Oh right. I forgot the rules. No linking of Liz and hot monkey sex. Bad Michael,” Michael said pushing Max just a tad further. The attitude had to go and if Max had to go off on someone he’d rather it be him. He’d had plenty of practice and could take it. Max had been brooding solid for hours. Ever since he’d spilled what Cal had pried out of the kids.
“What the fuck Michael! Jesus!” Max exploded.
“Yes, exactly. What about it? Here you are throwing attitude and being an asshole. So what is your problem? Besides Liz’s use of the word no,” Michael asked tired of dancing around.
“She doesn’t say….Look just stop okay?” Max asked shooting Michael a killing look.
“Ohhh she didn’t say no? So? What’s the problem then?” Michael asked. “The sex sucked? Out of practice?”
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Max growled grabbing Michael by the collar.
“Right,” Michael nodded. “You might want to wait until Erin’s not watching.”
Max dropped Michael’s shirt and spun around to find Erin watching with huge round eyes. “Hi honey! Whatcha doing?”
Erin’s lip pooched out as she walked into the room and crawled up onto the couch. “Mommy gonna be verwy mad at you. You not posta use bad words and be mean Daddy.”
“I’m not being mean. Am I Michael?” Max asked pulling Erin onto his lap.
“You really aren’t being very nice,” Michael said grinning.
“Daddy,” Erin chided looking so much like Liz in that moment that Max actually felt his heart squeeze.
“I’m sorry sweety,” Max said feeling appropriately chastised. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be so mean. Now what are you up to?”
“Pepe peed on Grandma’s kitchen fwoor. He lifted his yeg….why him do dat?” Erin asked looking between her Daddy and Uncle Michael.
“Umm he was being very bad,” Max said after a glance at Michael.
“Dat what Grandma said,” Erin agreed. “When we go home? I wanna see Mommy. Pepe does too. He tink we needs ta pway in da sandbox.”
“Oh he does huh?” Max asked smiling when Erin nodded seriously. “Well he’s gotta wait cause Grandma’s making cookies and she’d be very unhappy if left before we ate some.”
“Pepe down’t yike her cookies,” Erin pouted.
“Where is Pepe anyway?” Max asked.
“Noah took him potty,” Erin answered then put on her cutest face. “We go home now?”
“Not now. Why don’t you go and check on Noah. He might need some help with Pepe,” Max suggested. “Then later I’ll come out and we can play a game if you want.”
“Okay,” Erin agreed sliding off his lap and running for the door.
Michael waited for Erin to leave then turned back to Max. “So? What’s the deal?”
“The deal is that I’m a completely inept moron,” Max said rubbing his eyes.
“I coulda told you that years ago,” Michael commented. “So?”
“So I’m fucking up in truly spectacular way,” Max muttered. “How she ever let’s me even touch her is amazing after everything. I just….never considered…I never thought…I mean…I’m just stupid. I’ll make it up to you,” Max mimicked rolling his eyes. “How stupid is that? How can I make up for all that’s happened?”
“Tess you mean?” Michael asked.
“Yes….No….All of it. The mindwarping, the loss of choice, and yes….Tess too,” Max said his eyes darting to look at Michael then away. “Some things are supposed to be special, private, Tess took that from her.”
“Not just from her, Maxwell,” Michael reminded him.
“It’s different for me. I mean, it didn’t tear me up like it did her. Tess didn’t do the things to me that she did to Liz. You don’t know what she did,” Max said frowning. “I didn’t know the things she did. Can you watch the twins for me?”
“Uhhh,” Michael stuttered his eyes widening.
“Great! Thanks. It’ll be great practice and my mom will help,” Max said already half out of the room. “Call my cell if you need me.”
“Unbelievable,” Michael sighed. “Try to help and look what happens.”
Maria found Liz in the backyard and just watched her stabbing the earth repeatedly, dirt flying with every motion of her arm.
“Okay Liz. Put the shovel down and back away from the flower bed,” Maria said placing her hands on her hips.
“What are you doing here?” Liz asked not even pausing in her task.
“That’s a warm welcome,” Maria muttered to herself. “When Max stopped by and said he was on the way to his parents with the kids I thought I’d stop by and…..Seriously Liz. You’re scaring me with the shovel thing,” Maria remarked.
Liz stopped and turned to look at Maria. “Grill me until I cracked?”
“No, of course not,” Maria refuted strolling closer. “Can’t I come by to chat? Catch up with any new happenings in each others lives?”
Liz arched her eyebrow at Maria, not at all fooled. Subtle wasn’t Maria’s forte. “Really? What could possibly be new in my life? The dog peed on the rug this morning. Oh! I know! I got the new Science Digest in the mail today.”
“Funny,” Maria said watching as Liz wiped her hands on the back of her shorts and stood up. “You are in a mood today aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry,” Liz sighed. “It’s just….stuff. So. Do I get a beverage during my interrogation or is this more the bare bulb and wickedly uncomfortable chair kind of thing?”
“Please feel free to get anything that will put you in a better mood,” Maria drawled following Liz inside. She watched silently as Liz poured two glasses of juice and took hers without comment, following Liz to the kitchen table.
“Where’s Michael?” Liz asked taking a sip of her drink.
“With Max,” Maria answered. “They’re discussing what Cal told you guys this morning.”
“Great,” Liz answered thinking it was nice that Max was talking to somebody.
“Uh huh, so? What did Cal say?” Maria asked.
“That the Skins are coming to do something to me and some other alien, presumably Kivar, is coming to…do something I probably won’t like,” Liz shrugged. “So what else is new? How’s everything with you?”
“Flippant and short tempered,” Maria observed. “Nice combo. You could be me.”
“Thanks,” Liz said then smiled. “The last couple of days have sucked. I’m just about ready to say to hell with all of this and join a commune. I wouldn’t even have to rename Erin I could just start calling her Lotus.”
“That’s a plus,” Maria agreed nodding. “I knew that middle name would come in handy.”
“Yeah, I’ll have to think up a new name for myself though. Liz just doesn’t fit with my envisioned lifestyle. Any ideas?” Liz asked then took another drink.
“Rain? Or maybe that name you liked…what was it? Sparrow? No….Umm Wren! That’s it,” Maria said snapping her fingers.
“Yeah,” Liz said smiling and sitting back in her chair. “That sounds nice today.”
“I don’t know Liz. You don’t seem like the free love type to me,” Maria observed.
“No?” Liz asked her smile wilting slightly.
“No,” Maria said wondering what the hell was going on here.
“Funny. I have the children out of wedlock,” Liz mused. “But I don’t suppose alien mindwarping and subsequent poding is really part of the free love experience huh?”
“No, I think that defies description,” Maria agreed.
“Yeah,” Liz said making designs on the table with the wet rings made by her glass. “That’s my life. Defying description daily.”
“Okay, I suggest we start with yesterday because I am so lost here,” Maria said setting her glass aside and concentrating on Liz.
“Right, okay. You must want to know if you’re plan to get Max laid worked out. Well, it did, only probably not how you thought it would, followed by a tense and miserable evening with my parents. Then when I thought my day was over I wake the whole house and then some with a nightmare that inspired the most horrible conversation with Max since the one where he told me about sleeping with Tess. Yeah, so, I woke up and he was gone. Running or whatever and didn’t come back until after ten when Cal was already here and mad enough to steam the wallpaper off my bathroom walls. Then we had a lovely chat about aliens and Anointed ones….shit basically, after which Max took the kids, leaving me a note on the kitchen table saying they were going out to his parents. So, right now he’s, like, seriously pissing me off, Cal’s in hyper overdrive about this whole alien invasion thing as if I don’t have enough going on, and my dad got me a VW bus to drive that I can’t even see over the steering wheel but would come in handy with a booster seat in my new life as Wren the newest member of a commune or cult of some sort. Don’t you think?” Liz asked then took another sip of her juice.
Maria blinked in astonishment. “That is like the longest speech without breathing that I have ever heard out of you. Wow. I’m impressed.”
“Thank you,” Liz replied.
“Alright. So? The sex was?” Maria asked getting right to it.
“Tied for the worst part of my day, second only to the discussion about the sex that finished off my day,” Liz said then paused. “Gee it’s sort of hard to decide which is worse. The sex or the nightmare about Tess and sex all rolled into one horrible package.”
Maria’s mouth dropped open, shock painted across her face.
“What? You expected to hear something else?” Liz asked quirking her eyebrow skyward.
“Well…..yeah,” Maria finally managed.
“Then I guess I can add you to the growing list of people I’m disappointing,” Liz said flippantly when she felt anything but.
“But….But you guys are like the most affectionate couple I can think of,” Maria protested.
“See, there’s where your logic is flawed. You’re equating sex and affection and they are not the same thing,” Liz pointed out.
“Okay?” Maria asked feeling like she had fallen down a rabbit hole instead of stepping into Liz’s kitchen.
“Example. Why do you think that Max could have sex with Tess one day then hesitate to hold her hand the very next day?” Liz asked watching Maria over the rim of her glass as she took a drink.
“I get it,” Maria nodded. “But you are not Tess.”
“No, I’m not,” Liz agreed. “But Max IS Max.”
“Explain this please?” Maria asked her head starting to hurt as she struggled to follow Liz.
“Sex has very little to do with real feeling, at least for some people. It’s an expression of it sometimes but it can also express other things. Max just….he goes to this place, I don’t even think he sees me. It’s like….all I can feel are flashes of lust, I guess, no real sense of Max. It’s just….empty and it swallows me. I have to fight to just….breathe. I wonder sometimes what he feels. He guards himself so tightly I have no idea what he’s thinking or feeling. He could be a complete stranger,” Liz tried to sort out her thoughts. “I hate it. Then of course there’s what Tess did. There are no words to accurately express my feelings about that. I have nightmares to this day about it. It’s a combination of things that are all coming from the same time period but are not the same. Sex is largely mental and I’m just not in the same place that Max is. I’m not even in shouting distance of that place and really, I’m just not sure that I want to be. I’m not sure where he is,” Liz admitted softly. “I know where he is when he touches me though. I can see him just filling his eyes when he looks at me. I don’t feel like I’m with a stranger then. It’s Max and he really sees me. Why there’s such a vast difference I couldn’t tell you, but there is a difference.”
“So this is about him sleeping with Tess? Still?” Maria asked surprised.
“No, you’re missing the point, Maria,” Liz denied. “This is about me and how I feel. Or don’t feel depending. I don’t feel Max. At all. It’s like when Tess mindwarped us into having sex. It’s empty and just….. not me. I don’t…..I don’t have sex with strangers. The sex isn’t what’s important to me. I need more then that.”
“Okay, let me get this straight. You love Max. He loves you but somehow having sex with him is having sex with a stranger?” Maria asked truly confused.
“It feels that way,” Liz admitted. “I can hide from that feeling most of the time but not when I’m with him like that. Sex just shouldn’t make me feel empty and more alone then I am normally. It shouldn’t make me wonder what Max is thinking or feeling. It shouldn’t make me wonder if it’s really him.”
“What do you mean?” Maria asked.
Liz shook her head sorting through her thoughts. “I tell myself that Max loves me but I don’t feel it. He tells me but I don’t feel it and I really don’t feel it when we have sex. So what am I supposed to do? I’ve tried everything I can think of. I’ve tried to talk to him but he gets upset. I’ve tried to change myself by keeping my walls down and making myself do one thing a day to take a step closer to my goal. I took a huge chance coming back here and asking Max to try this living together thing and now I wonder if I can do it. I have tried to ignore that feeling during sex but it smothers me. I’m destroying my family. Noah is a wreak and Max is so unhappy he’s avoiding me. Erin is upset and following Noah into our bed every night. I’m being crushed under the weight of all of this. The dreams just get worse, Noah just gets more and more upset pulling Erin along with him, and Max just…He just gets farther away. At least before the move I got peeks inside him.”
“Hold up,” Maria said putting up her hand in stop gesture. “Noah’s problems are slightly more then just feeling the tension between you and Max. You’re not to blame for that. Max is Max, as you’ve so eloquently pointed out, and maybe part of the problem with him is…well…him. Plus, you have to add in this bond thing and repercussions from his feelings about you, Tess, and the mindwarping. Just a suggestion,” Maria shrugged. She let her eyes roam over Liz’s tense lost expression and hoped she was listening. She thanked god Michael was not this complicated because she’d have killed him by now. Liz was more patient then she was. Must be the overachiever in her, Liz hated to fail. At anything. “I mean you aren’t to blame for everything on earth after all.”
“I’m sure if I had enough time I could debate that with you,” Liz replied a flicker of a smile crossing her face.
“I’m not likely to give you that time,” Maria pointed out. “We have other things to do.”
“Like what?” Liz asked.
“Girl time,” Maria chirped. “Now that Max has the kids we’re running away for the day. Let him deal with it. That’ll teach him to avoid you. Plus, when he gets the bill for girl time…well that’s a whole other kind of lesson.”
“That’s the best idea I’ve heard today. Let’s go,” Liz admitted perking up. “I’ve missed girl time.”
“We do have years to catch up on. Fashions have changed, stores have closed, and most importantly new ones have opened. There could be the perfect thing out there just calling you to come buy it and take it home. You could fall in love today. In front of my very eyes,” Maria mused.
“I’m always open to change,” Liz agreed getting up and heading down the hall. “Just give me two minutes.”
“Look Max, it’s Liz naked,” Michael said and smiled when Max’s head popped up. “Just checking to see if you can actually hear the words that are coming out of my mouth. Score. You heard me.”
Max fastened his glare on Michael irked by his unwelcome chatter.
“I know you’re going for a record on the brooding but I’ve seen this. In high school remember?” Michael asked quirking an eyebrow at Max. “Years and years of brooding. I thought now that you slept in the same bed with the reason for the brooding it would negate the need to brood.”
“Funny how life works out isn’t it?” Max asked sarcastically.
“Oookay,” Michael said eyeing Max. “Someone needs a nap and it’s not the twins.”
Max sighed and leaned back on his parent’s couch. “Sorry.”
“No sweat,” Michael said brushing off Max’s shitty mood. “Reading between the lines I take it that your day with Liz didn’t work out like you hoped it would. Big surprise there. She must have learned the word no at a very early age.”
“Shut up, Michael,” Max said glaring at him.
“Oh right. I forgot the rules. No linking of Liz and hot monkey sex. Bad Michael,” Michael said pushing Max just a tad further. The attitude had to go and if Max had to go off on someone he’d rather it be him. He’d had plenty of practice and could take it. Max had been brooding solid for hours. Ever since he’d spilled what Cal had pried out of the kids.
“What the fuck Michael! Jesus!” Max exploded.
“Yes, exactly. What about it? Here you are throwing attitude and being an asshole. So what is your problem? Besides Liz’s use of the word no,” Michael asked tired of dancing around.
“She doesn’t say….Look just stop okay?” Max asked shooting Michael a killing look.
“Ohhh she didn’t say no? So? What’s the problem then?” Michael asked. “The sex sucked? Out of practice?”
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Max growled grabbing Michael by the collar.
“Right,” Michael nodded. “You might want to wait until Erin’s not watching.”
Max dropped Michael’s shirt and spun around to find Erin watching with huge round eyes. “Hi honey! Whatcha doing?”
Erin’s lip pooched out as she walked into the room and crawled up onto the couch. “Mommy gonna be verwy mad at you. You not posta use bad words and be mean Daddy.”
“I’m not being mean. Am I Michael?” Max asked pulling Erin onto his lap.
“You really aren’t being very nice,” Michael said grinning.
“Daddy,” Erin chided looking so much like Liz in that moment that Max actually felt his heart squeeze.
“I’m sorry sweety,” Max said feeling appropriately chastised. “You’re right. I shouldn’t be so mean. Now what are you up to?”
“Pepe peed on Grandma’s kitchen fwoor. He lifted his yeg….why him do dat?” Erin asked looking between her Daddy and Uncle Michael.
“Umm he was being very bad,” Max said after a glance at Michael.
“Dat what Grandma said,” Erin agreed. “When we go home? I wanna see Mommy. Pepe does too. He tink we needs ta pway in da sandbox.”
“Oh he does huh?” Max asked smiling when Erin nodded seriously. “Well he’s gotta wait cause Grandma’s making cookies and she’d be very unhappy if left before we ate some.”
“Pepe down’t yike her cookies,” Erin pouted.
“Where is Pepe anyway?” Max asked.
“Noah took him potty,” Erin answered then put on her cutest face. “We go home now?”
“Not now. Why don’t you go and check on Noah. He might need some help with Pepe,” Max suggested. “Then later I’ll come out and we can play a game if you want.”
“Okay,” Erin agreed sliding off his lap and running for the door.
Michael waited for Erin to leave then turned back to Max. “So? What’s the deal?”
“The deal is that I’m a completely inept moron,” Max said rubbing his eyes.
“I coulda told you that years ago,” Michael commented. “So?”
“So I’m fucking up in truly spectacular way,” Max muttered. “How she ever let’s me even touch her is amazing after everything. I just….never considered…I never thought…I mean…I’m just stupid. I’ll make it up to you,” Max mimicked rolling his eyes. “How stupid is that? How can I make up for all that’s happened?”
“Tess you mean?” Michael asked.
“Yes….No….All of it. The mindwarping, the loss of choice, and yes….Tess too,” Max said his eyes darting to look at Michael then away. “Some things are supposed to be special, private, Tess took that from her.”
“Not just from her, Maxwell,” Michael reminded him.
“It’s different for me. I mean, it didn’t tear me up like it did her. Tess didn’t do the things to me that she did to Liz. You don’t know what she did,” Max said frowning. “I didn’t know the things she did. Can you watch the twins for me?”
“Uhhh,” Michael stuttered his eyes widening.
“Great! Thanks. It’ll be great practice and my mom will help,” Max said already half out of the room. “Call my cell if you need me.”
“Unbelievable,” Michael sighed. “Try to help and look what happens.”
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
“Let’s take my new…..thing here,” Liz called to Maria before she could get in her car. “I have on some really high platforms so it should be cool.”
“Okay,” Maria agreed easily, switching directions and heading to the huge brightly colored vehicle.
Liz climbed in and shut the door then fumbled for the lever to move the seat up.
Maria got in and watched Liz attempting to scoot the seat up and smiled. “So why the love bus?”
“My dad says that it’s safer since it’s bigger and with the kids….I don’t know,” Liz replied. Having moved the seat all the way up she placed her hands on the steering wheel as she tried to reach the pedals. Grinning she turned to Maria. “The platforms work great. I knew I liked these shoes.”
“Okay so you can reach the pedals. What about the steering wheel? Still blocking your view?” Maria asked noticing Liz trying to peer over the dashboard. Looking down she noticed Liz sort of sitting in a hole. “Does the seat have a dip in it?”
“A crater more like it,” Liz muttered. “I need a phone book or something. Let me try and….”
Maria watched her scoot over to the very edge of the seat and put her hand on the cushion. After a second her hand started to glow and the dip filled in.
“That’s better,” Liz mumbled settling back in the seat. Reaching for her purse she dug around inside it looking for her phone. “Let me just call Max really quick,” Liz said to Maria as she latched onto the phone. Pulling it out she used her speed dial to call Max’s cell, waiting as it rang then clicked over to voice mail. With a sigh she waited out his greeting then left her message. “It’s me. I’m going out shopping with Maria so call my cell if you need me. Right. So….Okay then. Talk to you….whenever.”
Maria watched Liz tap the antenna of her phone against her chin for a second before she dialed a new number.
“Hi, Mrs. Evans. Is Max there?” Liz asked.
“Oh Liz, no he just left,” Diane answered then caught sight of Erin feeding Pepe a piece of an orange. “Erin don’t feed him that. It might make him sick.”
“Him yikes it,” Erin protested as Pepe licked her fingers clean.
“Wait….He left the kids with you?” Liz asked scowling. “Where did he go?”
“I’m not sure. He didn’t say,” Diane answered as Noah tugged on her leg. “Michael’s still here though.”
“Dat Mommy?” Noah asked tugging harder.
“Just a second Noah,” Diane said combing back his hair with her fingers.
“I tried his cell and he didn’t answer,” Liz said glancing over at Maria. “Umm could you possibly get Michael for me?”
“Of course. Noah wants to say hi anyway,” Diane agreed and passed the phone to Noah.
“Mommy?” Noah asked. “Erin hit me.”
“Why’d she do that?” Liz asked smiling slightly.
“She verwy mean,” Noah answered. “Tell her dat she not posta do dat kay?”
“Okay but you shouldn’t be doing mean stuff either. Remember we talked about how when you do a mean thing she does a mean thing back. Is this one of those times?” Liz asked.
“No! I jus teached Pepe ta plawy a game,” Noah defended.
“What game?” Liz asked suspicious.
“A game wit socks,” Noah answered. “He yikes it. Him pulls da socks off and wuns wit it. He hide it and we posta yook for it. Javen yikes ta plawy but Erin hit me rweally hard.”
“You know Erin doesn’t like her feet to be bare. Noah Levi, stop teasing your sister and teaching Pepe bad things. It’s not nice. Now promise me you’ll be good. Your Grandma missed you but that doesn’t mean she’s going to let you misbehave. If I find out either of you have been bad then you’re in trouble. No TV for a week understand?” Liz asked half-amused and half-exasperated.
“I sorwy,” Noah sighed. Looking over at Erin he stuck his tongue out at her when she smirked. “I be good.”
“Okay, now hand the phone to Erin please,” Liz asked and waited.
“Hi Mommy!” Erin sing songed into the phone always happy when Noah got busted.
“Don’t hi Mommy me young lady. We talked about hitting and biting remember? Big girls don’t do bad stuff like that,” Liz pointed out.
“But he started it! Aunt Maria said dat when boys start stuff den you gotta do it,” Erin whined.
“Noah isn’t a boy. He’s your brother,” Liz explained turning to glare at Maria. “Besides, we don’t listen to Aunt Maria when it comes to boys. No more hitting. If Grandma or Uncle Michael tell me that you’ve been acting up then you’re in big trouble. No TV and no bedtime stories for a week understand?”
“But…But..” Erin protested a pout starting to work its way across her face. It wasn’t so funny when she was the one in trouble.
“No buts. I’m not telling you again,” Liz warned.
“Kay,” Erin agreed scowling at Noah. Tattle tail. “Hewre Uncle Michael.”
“Okay, love you,” Liz said reaching out to soothe away Erin’s pique.
“Love you too, Mommy,” Erin sighed feeling her Mommy’s soothing warmth deep inside. Beaming smile back in place now that she knew Mommy wasn’t mad, she held out the phone to Uncle Michael.
“Yeah,” Michael greeted gruffly.
“Did Max say where he was going and when he was coming back?” Liz asked.
“Nope,” Michael answered scooping up some cookie dough with his finger and popping it in his mouth. Making a face he glanced over at Mrs. Evans then sprinkled in some Tabasco. Adding more, then a little more he started stirring it in vainly hoping to improve the taste. “I have no clue what he’s doing.”
“Huh,” Liz said frowning. “Do you need me to come and get the kids?”
“I think I can handle it, Liz,” Michael said rolling his eyes. “I do have some pretty cool offensive powers.”
“Yeah but….They work together Michael. If you’re not careful they’ll have you outflanked in no time,” Liz warned amused. Michael automatically thought in terms of an alien enemy when he should really be keeping an eye on the twins. They were really good at playing on weaknesses to get their way.
“Hey, I was a General in my last life. I can deal,” Michael argued offended. “Cal isn’t the only one that can protect them ya know.”
“I know. Okay, well just call my cell if you need me. Maria and I are going shopping for a little while but I can come and pick them up any time if you need me to,” Liz said then paused nibbling on her lip. “You are staying there right?”
“Yeah, we’re in the middle of some things,” Michael said adding another cup of sugar to the cookies. “Listen, you sure that you should be going out?”
“I can’t hide in the house. Is that any better anyway?” Liz pointed out. “Aliens can use a phone book too.”
“I guess it’s not. Just keep your eyes open okay? Don’t let Maria wear herself out, huh?” Michael requested not bothering to protest more. Liz was gonna do what she wanted to do.
“I won’t,” Liz agreed. “Talk to you later.”
“Yeah,” Michael said then hung up. Maybe he should call Cal. Just in case.
Instead of heading to the mall they decided on the small shopping area that had sprung up in the last three years. One street over from downtown it was closer then the mall and neither of them had been over there yet.
After they parked they wandered along window shopping and talking. Most of the shops were geared more toward tourists then they were locals but Liz stopped in front of one shop feeling her curiosity stir as she looked in the window.
“Let’s look in here for a second,” Liz said already on her way in the door.
Maria trailed after her puzzled by her interest. The store was a mismosh of different things in no particular order, which should have had neat orderly Liz walking right by. “What are we looking at?”
“Just looking,” Liz mumbled walking in and looking around. Not seeing anyone inside, either other customers or the shopkeeper, Liz wandered around touching one thing after another, browsing more then anything. This store had some of the touristy stuff but there was also everything from garden stakes to throw pillows. Making her way to the counter by the register she peered in at the pieces of jewelry.
The silver glint of one pendant caught and held her attention. It was unique and beautiful.
“Can I help you?”
Liz looked up at the sound of a surprisingly deep voice and met a pair of deeply intent dark eyes. She blinked, startled by his sudden appearance, and just gaped at him silently.
Maria’s eyebrows rose as she looked between Liz and the shopkeeper. “I think she wants to see that…,” Maria walked over and looked into the case. “pendant.”
“Ummm yeah,” Liz agreed sending Maria a look of thanks. Turning back to the man behind the counter she studied him as he unlocked the case. He looked like he was in his late thirties or very early forties but he didn't seem like a shopkeeper. He looked like he’d be more comfortable in a uniform. He had the rigid posture and watchful eyes that just didn’t seem to fit with this profession. “This is a interesting shop,” Liz said to make conversation.
“You could say that,” Looking up from under midnight dark brows he studied her. “This is a good choice, an interesting piece with an interesting history.”
Liz watched him hold the pendant up so it caught at the dim light winking and flashing, calling to her. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yes,” The man nodded. “I think it’s perfect for you. Maybe on a longer chain? Something so it rests over your heart perhaps.”
Maria saw the way Liz was staring at the pendant and frowned. “How much is it? Before we go any further.”
“How much do you want to spend on it?”
“So we’re supposed to barter for the price?” Maria asked her eyes glinting with interest.
“Some things are just waiting for the right person,” The man shrugged. “I’m new at this. We can barter.”
Liz barely listened to Maria haggle with the guy over the price, too caught up in looking at the piece in question. To her there was no question. It was hers. She knew it was hers.
Ten minutes later they walked out of the shop with Liz already wearing the new purchase over her heart.
After dropping Maria off and checking in with Michael, still no Max, she decided to pop into the CrashDown to visit and get a bite to eat before going to pick up the kids.
Walking in she was hit with a wall of noise and activity. Her father was bussing tables and her mother was behind the counter, the dinner rush seemed to be in full swing. Liz walked up to the counter and sat down waiting for one of her parents to come by. After a few minutes of looking around and not seeing any other waitresses she frowned and got up following her father into the backroom.
“Hey Dad,” Liz said tossing her purse onto the worn out couch.
“Lizzie! Hi honey, it’s nice to see you but we’re so busy I can’t talk much. Agnes didn’t show up and the other waitress called in so we’re kind of busy. Where are the kids?” Jeff asked.
“At Max’s parent’s house. I can help out if you need me to. I’m sure I remember how things work,” Liz teased. She didn’t want her parents wearing themselves out trying to keep up with the cafe.
“You’re a life saver. You’re locker is exactly how you left it and we haven’t touched your room either so there should be a more comfortable pair of shoes and a uniform hanging around in one place or another. Thank you, Baby,” Jeff said and kissed her forehead on his way back out to the dining room.
Liz strolled over to her locker and opened it. It was sad that she still remembered the combination after over three years Liz thought rolling her eyes. Looking inside she couldn’t believe it. Everything was just as she’d left it after working her last shift before they had left for California. Her order pad and pen were just waiting for her to come back and pick them up, Michael’s last doodle on the top page made her smile. It was Maria in her CrashDown uniform her mouth open to swallow the Earth, antenna swinging wildly on top of her head.
Liz picked up her antenna and uniform and raced up the stairs to find a different pair of shoes. Ten minutes later, uniform on along with a pair of tennis shoes, she pounded back down the stairs and stopped by her locker long enough to pick up her order pad and pen. Before she closed the door she reached into the back and pulled out her scrunchy, impulsively pulling her hair up before putting on her antenna. Collecting her purse she pulled out her phone and called the Evans house.
“Hello?” Phillip answered.
“Hi, Mr. Evans it’s Liz. I just wanted to check in and let you guys know I sort of got caught up at the café. A couple of the waitresses didn’t show so I’m helping out. Everything okay?” Liz asked.
“Everything’s fine, Liz. Michael’s…..doing really well,” Phillip replied smiling.
“Max still isn’t back? Has he called?” Liz asked.
“No, not that I know of. I wouldn’t worry though. I’ll tell him where you are. We’re happy to keep the kids and I believe Javen is showing off all his video games so everyone’s having fun,” Phillip said leaning over to look into the living room where Michael and Javen were battling it out for the Stanley Cup.
“Umm okay….Just umm call the café if….” Liz trailed off worrying her bottom lip, torn between helping her father with the café and just going to get the kids. She had no idea what Max was doing but she was nervous about leaving them for so long.
“Really Liz. Everything’s fine. We’ll call if anything happens,” Phillip assured her.
“Okay. Tell Max to call me as soon as you see him please?” Liz asked.
“Will do. Talk to you later,” Phillip agreed.
Liz hung up and called Max but hung up when she got his voicemail again. Standing up she smoothed a hand down the skirt of her uniform somewhat surprised it still fit. Finally ready she shoved her purse into her locker and got to work.
“Let’s take my new…..thing here,” Liz called to Maria before she could get in her car. “I have on some really high platforms so it should be cool.”
“Okay,” Maria agreed easily, switching directions and heading to the huge brightly colored vehicle.
Liz climbed in and shut the door then fumbled for the lever to move the seat up.
Maria got in and watched Liz attempting to scoot the seat up and smiled. “So why the love bus?”
“My dad says that it’s safer since it’s bigger and with the kids….I don’t know,” Liz replied. Having moved the seat all the way up she placed her hands on the steering wheel as she tried to reach the pedals. Grinning she turned to Maria. “The platforms work great. I knew I liked these shoes.”
“Okay so you can reach the pedals. What about the steering wheel? Still blocking your view?” Maria asked noticing Liz trying to peer over the dashboard. Looking down she noticed Liz sort of sitting in a hole. “Does the seat have a dip in it?”
“A crater more like it,” Liz muttered. “I need a phone book or something. Let me try and….”
Maria watched her scoot over to the very edge of the seat and put her hand on the cushion. After a second her hand started to glow and the dip filled in.
“That’s better,” Liz mumbled settling back in the seat. Reaching for her purse she dug around inside it looking for her phone. “Let me just call Max really quick,” Liz said to Maria as she latched onto the phone. Pulling it out she used her speed dial to call Max’s cell, waiting as it rang then clicked over to voice mail. With a sigh she waited out his greeting then left her message. “It’s me. I’m going out shopping with Maria so call my cell if you need me. Right. So….Okay then. Talk to you….whenever.”
Maria watched Liz tap the antenna of her phone against her chin for a second before she dialed a new number.
“Hi, Mrs. Evans. Is Max there?” Liz asked.
“Oh Liz, no he just left,” Diane answered then caught sight of Erin feeding Pepe a piece of an orange. “Erin don’t feed him that. It might make him sick.”
“Him yikes it,” Erin protested as Pepe licked her fingers clean.
“Wait….He left the kids with you?” Liz asked scowling. “Where did he go?”
“I’m not sure. He didn’t say,” Diane answered as Noah tugged on her leg. “Michael’s still here though.”
“Dat Mommy?” Noah asked tugging harder.
“Just a second Noah,” Diane said combing back his hair with her fingers.
“I tried his cell and he didn’t answer,” Liz said glancing over at Maria. “Umm could you possibly get Michael for me?”
“Of course. Noah wants to say hi anyway,” Diane agreed and passed the phone to Noah.
“Mommy?” Noah asked. “Erin hit me.”
“Why’d she do that?” Liz asked smiling slightly.
“She verwy mean,” Noah answered. “Tell her dat she not posta do dat kay?”
“Okay but you shouldn’t be doing mean stuff either. Remember we talked about how when you do a mean thing she does a mean thing back. Is this one of those times?” Liz asked.
“No! I jus teached Pepe ta plawy a game,” Noah defended.
“What game?” Liz asked suspicious.
“A game wit socks,” Noah answered. “He yikes it. Him pulls da socks off and wuns wit it. He hide it and we posta yook for it. Javen yikes ta plawy but Erin hit me rweally hard.”
“You know Erin doesn’t like her feet to be bare. Noah Levi, stop teasing your sister and teaching Pepe bad things. It’s not nice. Now promise me you’ll be good. Your Grandma missed you but that doesn’t mean she’s going to let you misbehave. If I find out either of you have been bad then you’re in trouble. No TV for a week understand?” Liz asked half-amused and half-exasperated.
“I sorwy,” Noah sighed. Looking over at Erin he stuck his tongue out at her when she smirked. “I be good.”
“Okay, now hand the phone to Erin please,” Liz asked and waited.
“Hi Mommy!” Erin sing songed into the phone always happy when Noah got busted.
“Don’t hi Mommy me young lady. We talked about hitting and biting remember? Big girls don’t do bad stuff like that,” Liz pointed out.
“But he started it! Aunt Maria said dat when boys start stuff den you gotta do it,” Erin whined.
“Noah isn’t a boy. He’s your brother,” Liz explained turning to glare at Maria. “Besides, we don’t listen to Aunt Maria when it comes to boys. No more hitting. If Grandma or Uncle Michael tell me that you’ve been acting up then you’re in big trouble. No TV and no bedtime stories for a week understand?”
“But…But..” Erin protested a pout starting to work its way across her face. It wasn’t so funny when she was the one in trouble.
“No buts. I’m not telling you again,” Liz warned.
“Kay,” Erin agreed scowling at Noah. Tattle tail. “Hewre Uncle Michael.”
“Okay, love you,” Liz said reaching out to soothe away Erin’s pique.
“Love you too, Mommy,” Erin sighed feeling her Mommy’s soothing warmth deep inside. Beaming smile back in place now that she knew Mommy wasn’t mad, she held out the phone to Uncle Michael.
“Yeah,” Michael greeted gruffly.
“Did Max say where he was going and when he was coming back?” Liz asked.
“Nope,” Michael answered scooping up some cookie dough with his finger and popping it in his mouth. Making a face he glanced over at Mrs. Evans then sprinkled in some Tabasco. Adding more, then a little more he started stirring it in vainly hoping to improve the taste. “I have no clue what he’s doing.”
“Huh,” Liz said frowning. “Do you need me to come and get the kids?”
“I think I can handle it, Liz,” Michael said rolling his eyes. “I do have some pretty cool offensive powers.”
“Yeah but….They work together Michael. If you’re not careful they’ll have you outflanked in no time,” Liz warned amused. Michael automatically thought in terms of an alien enemy when he should really be keeping an eye on the twins. They were really good at playing on weaknesses to get their way.
“Hey, I was a General in my last life. I can deal,” Michael argued offended. “Cal isn’t the only one that can protect them ya know.”
“I know. Okay, well just call my cell if you need me. Maria and I are going shopping for a little while but I can come and pick them up any time if you need me to,” Liz said then paused nibbling on her lip. “You are staying there right?”
“Yeah, we’re in the middle of some things,” Michael said adding another cup of sugar to the cookies. “Listen, you sure that you should be going out?”
“I can’t hide in the house. Is that any better anyway?” Liz pointed out. “Aliens can use a phone book too.”
“I guess it’s not. Just keep your eyes open okay? Don’t let Maria wear herself out, huh?” Michael requested not bothering to protest more. Liz was gonna do what she wanted to do.
“I won’t,” Liz agreed. “Talk to you later.”
“Yeah,” Michael said then hung up. Maybe he should call Cal. Just in case.
Instead of heading to the mall they decided on the small shopping area that had sprung up in the last three years. One street over from downtown it was closer then the mall and neither of them had been over there yet.
After they parked they wandered along window shopping and talking. Most of the shops were geared more toward tourists then they were locals but Liz stopped in front of one shop feeling her curiosity stir as she looked in the window.
“Let’s look in here for a second,” Liz said already on her way in the door.
Maria trailed after her puzzled by her interest. The store was a mismosh of different things in no particular order, which should have had neat orderly Liz walking right by. “What are we looking at?”
“Just looking,” Liz mumbled walking in and looking around. Not seeing anyone inside, either other customers or the shopkeeper, Liz wandered around touching one thing after another, browsing more then anything. This store had some of the touristy stuff but there was also everything from garden stakes to throw pillows. Making her way to the counter by the register she peered in at the pieces of jewelry.
The silver glint of one pendant caught and held her attention. It was unique and beautiful.
“Can I help you?”
Liz looked up at the sound of a surprisingly deep voice and met a pair of deeply intent dark eyes. She blinked, startled by his sudden appearance, and just gaped at him silently.
Maria’s eyebrows rose as she looked between Liz and the shopkeeper. “I think she wants to see that…,” Maria walked over and looked into the case. “pendant.”
“Ummm yeah,” Liz agreed sending Maria a look of thanks. Turning back to the man behind the counter she studied him as he unlocked the case. He looked like he was in his late thirties or very early forties but he didn't seem like a shopkeeper. He looked like he’d be more comfortable in a uniform. He had the rigid posture and watchful eyes that just didn’t seem to fit with this profession. “This is a interesting shop,” Liz said to make conversation.
“You could say that,” Looking up from under midnight dark brows he studied her. “This is a good choice, an interesting piece with an interesting history.”
Liz watched him hold the pendant up so it caught at the dim light winking and flashing, calling to her. “It’s beautiful.”
“Yes,” The man nodded. “I think it’s perfect for you. Maybe on a longer chain? Something so it rests over your heart perhaps.”
Maria saw the way Liz was staring at the pendant and frowned. “How much is it? Before we go any further.”
“How much do you want to spend on it?”
“So we’re supposed to barter for the price?” Maria asked her eyes glinting with interest.
“Some things are just waiting for the right person,” The man shrugged. “I’m new at this. We can barter.”
Liz barely listened to Maria haggle with the guy over the price, too caught up in looking at the piece in question. To her there was no question. It was hers. She knew it was hers.
Ten minutes later they walked out of the shop with Liz already wearing the new purchase over her heart.
After dropping Maria off and checking in with Michael, still no Max, she decided to pop into the CrashDown to visit and get a bite to eat before going to pick up the kids.
Walking in she was hit with a wall of noise and activity. Her father was bussing tables and her mother was behind the counter, the dinner rush seemed to be in full swing. Liz walked up to the counter and sat down waiting for one of her parents to come by. After a few minutes of looking around and not seeing any other waitresses she frowned and got up following her father into the backroom.
“Hey Dad,” Liz said tossing her purse onto the worn out couch.
“Lizzie! Hi honey, it’s nice to see you but we’re so busy I can’t talk much. Agnes didn’t show up and the other waitress called in so we’re kind of busy. Where are the kids?” Jeff asked.
“At Max’s parent’s house. I can help out if you need me to. I’m sure I remember how things work,” Liz teased. She didn’t want her parents wearing themselves out trying to keep up with the cafe.
“You’re a life saver. You’re locker is exactly how you left it and we haven’t touched your room either so there should be a more comfortable pair of shoes and a uniform hanging around in one place or another. Thank you, Baby,” Jeff said and kissed her forehead on his way back out to the dining room.
Liz strolled over to her locker and opened it. It was sad that she still remembered the combination after over three years Liz thought rolling her eyes. Looking inside she couldn’t believe it. Everything was just as she’d left it after working her last shift before they had left for California. Her order pad and pen were just waiting for her to come back and pick them up, Michael’s last doodle on the top page made her smile. It was Maria in her CrashDown uniform her mouth open to swallow the Earth, antenna swinging wildly on top of her head.
Liz picked up her antenna and uniform and raced up the stairs to find a different pair of shoes. Ten minutes later, uniform on along with a pair of tennis shoes, she pounded back down the stairs and stopped by her locker long enough to pick up her order pad and pen. Before she closed the door she reached into the back and pulled out her scrunchy, impulsively pulling her hair up before putting on her antenna. Collecting her purse she pulled out her phone and called the Evans house.
“Hello?” Phillip answered.
“Hi, Mr. Evans it’s Liz. I just wanted to check in and let you guys know I sort of got caught up at the café. A couple of the waitresses didn’t show so I’m helping out. Everything okay?” Liz asked.
“Everything’s fine, Liz. Michael’s…..doing really well,” Phillip replied smiling.
“Max still isn’t back? Has he called?” Liz asked.
“No, not that I know of. I wouldn’t worry though. I’ll tell him where you are. We’re happy to keep the kids and I believe Javen is showing off all his video games so everyone’s having fun,” Phillip said leaning over to look into the living room where Michael and Javen were battling it out for the Stanley Cup.
“Umm okay….Just umm call the café if….” Liz trailed off worrying her bottom lip, torn between helping her father with the café and just going to get the kids. She had no idea what Max was doing but she was nervous about leaving them for so long.
“Really Liz. Everything’s fine. We’ll call if anything happens,” Phillip assured her.
“Okay. Tell Max to call me as soon as you see him please?” Liz asked.
“Will do. Talk to you later,” Phillip agreed.
Liz hung up and called Max but hung up when she got his voicemail again. Standing up she smoothed a hand down the skirt of her uniform somewhat surprised it still fit. Finally ready she shoved her purse into her locker and got to work.
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
“I thought I might find you here,” Cal said to Max’s back. Walking further into the chamber he allowed the door to close behind him and found a somewhat comfortable perch on a jagged stone protrusion. “So?”
“So what?” Max asked turning slightly to look over at the shapeshifter.
“You want to talk or you want to hide in here all day?” Cal asked no accusation in his flat tone.
“Talk to you?” Max almost laughed. “Like you suddenly care about me and my thoughts? When did that happen?”
Far from offended Cal smiled. “It happened the minute I received Liz’s call. To help her I have to help you. To be honest, it probably happened before then. Listen, talk to me or don’t,” Cal shrugged unconcerned. “But you need to sort this out somehow and fast. The world isn’t going to stop and wait for you to get it together. It doesn’t care about your problems.”
“Much like you,” Max offered turning to fully face Cal, studying him.
“No, not like me,” Cal corrected. “I’m programmed to care to a certain extent. It’s not. What are you doing here, Max? What you’re looking for isn’t here.”
Max sighed and moved restlessly around the chamber, touching things absently as he went, unable to settle in one place. He felt woefully out of his depth and unable to choose the correct path. He knew exactly what he wanted. He just had no idea how to get there. Sorting it out in his head seemed like a Herculean task, he’d been so blind for so long.
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I just needed somewhere to think,” Max said stopping and looking around. “It started here, it’s quiet, and private,” Max shrugged. “It seemed like a good place to figure a few things out.”
Cal stayed quiet for a few minutes sorting out his own thoughts and shoving down his irritation. “So? How’s it working? What have YOU decided?”
Max sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face, hearing plainly Cal’s tone and the silent accusation in it. “Just say it. You’re dying to point out everything I’m doing wrong, so go ahead. Enlighten me.”
“You know what I’m going to say. We’ve had this conversation many times before today. Why would I say it again? You haven’t heard me the twenty times before now,” Cal said leaning back against the wall. “You never heard anything before this life either. Funny which traits stick isn’t it? You’d think that they would have weeded that one out. Well, we have to deal with what we’ve got,” Cal said watching Max’s shoulders bunch under his shirt. “What we’ve got right now is a serious situation. Since you don’t want to talk about you, or you aren’t ready, we’ll focus on your favorite subject.”
Max smiled slightly and leaned against the opposite wall his body tense and ready for a blow.
“I’ve suspected some things for awhile,” Cal said softly, thinking and sorting out his words. “Things about Liz. I’ve never met anyone like her before, not powers wise or personally. That’s attractive to more people then just you, Max.”
“I know that,” Max agreed. “She’s always been special.”
“Yes, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that because she’s bound to you that she’s safe. That it somehow protects her from being taken from you,” Cal said seriously. “You know better. You’ve seen what the stones say.”
“I don’t believe in that shit,” Max cut him off sharply.
“I realize that,” Cal said harshly. “I’ve had two lifetimes of you telling me that you don’t believe. What I don’t understand is how you can choose which bits and pieces you believe about your past. This is exactly what got you killed before. This blindness you exhibit when you don’t WANT to believe something. You believe in the power of the healing stones. What’s so different between them? The stones KNOW what Liz is. They know what you are. Whether you choose to believe that or not.”
Cal watched the struggle taking place in Max’s expression but stayed quiet, waiting for Max to sort out his thoughts enough to speak. He was going to have to learn patience, painful as that was. Dealing with Max’s hard head had never been his strong suit before now. But like he said, the world didn’t stop to let him sort out his issues anymore then it did for Max.
Privately, Cal was fairly sure Max did believe in the stones. Otherwise they wouldn’t be here on Earth and Max wouldn’t be so afraid. Fear leaked off of him, filling the chamber around them. The question was if he would listen or stick his head in the sand again for the second life in a row. Sighing, Cal decided to talk to fill the silence that was stretching well past the fifteen-minute mark.
“Have you ever noticed that some people just seem to be easy to be around?” Cal asked seemingly changing topics, working around to his point. “Liz is one of those people. She sees value in people without being blind to their faults. She takes the good to heart and works around the not so good. It’s how she can balance all of the people in her life that all have different blind spots.”
“Your point?” Max asked.
“The point is that that doesn’t come without effort. Just as your gifts come with their own brand of effort. I don’t claim to have all the answers. All I know is what I’ve seen. She sees a lot of things clearly, she understands how things can slant people’s perceptions and takes that for what it is. Why do you think that is?” Cal asked trying another way of getting Max to see. To open his eyes and just look at what was around him.
“She’s smart. She’s amazingly intelligent and caring,” Max said shrugging. “She’s always seen things in people.”
“Yes, she has but I think it’s more then that. Noah gets his gifts from somewhere and I don’t think it’s you,” Cal said directly. “There’s a reason he’s as close as he is to her. Why their connection is so deep. All the other reasons are true but I don’t think that’s all of it. I think you’ve always sensed her gifts and I think its part of what drew you to her. You’ve never been as open as you are here, with her. You’ve never formed connections easily, Max. So why now? Why her? Why did you react the way you have all along?”
“What do you mean?” Max asked confused. “She was shot. She was dying so I healed her.”
“So? You healed Kyle, Michael, Isabel, birds, children you don’t even know. So what? That’s not a connection. Don’t make that mistake. You’re assuming that the healing was the beginning and I don’t believe it was. I think it forced your hand but I think things started long before then. You’ve assumed all along that YOU made the connection and I don’t think that’s the case. Something’s been different all along with her. So is the difference you or is it her?” Cal asked watching him.
“You think its her,” Max stated watching him.
“Yes, I do,” Cal agreed. “She reaches out and draws things in. You know enough to realize that people put things out there. They transmit emotions, strong thoughts, memories, it’s all out there if you can tap into it. If you’re open to it. Everything has energy of some kind and depending on how you’re wired, what your gifts are, you can pick up on that. Isabel picks up on dreams, Ava on thoughts and perceptions to a degree, Michael draws on energy and solidifies it into a purer form, and you manipulate it to heal and shield. It’s all just energy in different forms. I think the reason you’ve always been drawn to her is partly her gift to absorb all the random garbage, filter through it, and make it seem not as overwhelming. She doesn’t even realize it. She just does it. I know she’s very sensitive to emotion. Just like Noah is. I know she’s able to connect to other people, I’ve heard her, I’ve seen it. I don’t know what to label her gift but it’s there, even without a label. Think about it.”
“I don’t know,” Max said thoughtfully. “Possibly but what’s the difference? She’s so much better with her powers, we all are. Does it really matter what this thing is? She’s Liz. It’s all just her.”
“It matters because others are watching. We don’t live in a vacuum. Unlike you, others won’t shut her out. Quite the opposite actually,” Cal said folding his arms over his chest. “This bond you have is weakened, it’s been almost four years and I think it’s in worse shape now then it was then. Don’t get cocky. She can be taken from you. One bond doesn’t exclude others you should know that. Just because she’s tied to you doesn’t mean she’s useless to others. She’s valuable just for herself. You know that and fear it. The stones told you that years ago and still you shut down. Tell me, if you don’t choose to see it does that mean it’s not really happening? Is that it?”
“You’re setting up the circumstances of her leaving daily. By shutting down like you are you’re shoving her away, right out that door,” Cal said seriously. Max needed to wake up. Fast. Maybe he wasn’t the best choice for this job but he was the only one with certain skills, so there you had it. He was drafted by default, much like he had been the first time. Looking at this situation was like watching a house catch fire and burn. No matter how much water he tossed, no matter how loudly he shouted no one seemed to hear him. “You’re giving them a very big opening to walk right in and take everything. She can’t continue on like this, Max, and you know that. Ignoring this won’t make it go away. Testing her this way is dangerous.”
“I’m not….I don’t think I’m testing her,” Max protested.
“Really? Then why are you here while she’s out there? Why did you go running today and stay out until you knew I’d be there? No one runs for three hours straight! Why did you then come out here, avoid dealing with whatever you discovered last night? Are you waiting for her to go to sleep tonight and dream again? Maybe she’ll call out and have her call answered by someone else? Then you can say it wasn’t you that drove her away, it was her that left. She didn’t stay like she said she would so she failed your test. Will that make it better? When she takes the kids and leaves? That’s where this is heading. Because in the end no matter how much she loves you she’s going to look at those kids and realize that they need a stable home. That her staying and being so upset all the time isn’t what’s best for anyone. You are both so careful about what you say and don’t say. You dance around the edges of the problem but are afraid to really get into it since you might hurt the other by saying what? What’s worse then where you are?” Cal asked frustrated.
“There’s worse,” Max said convinced. “I’ve lived worse. The stones are pointing to worse yet.”
“Maybe,” Cal allowed his eyes locking onto Max’s. “But hiding isn’t going change that.”
“If she knew what I was she’d leave,” Max said looking down.
Cal puzzled that out for a minute before speaking. “You mean all the past life stuff or the past in this life?”
“Both. Either,” Max shrugged.
“I think you’re wrong about that,” Cal said carefully. With a sigh and an eye roll he stood up and moved away from the wall. “What’s she going to see that scares you so badly? She already knows you’re the father of both her kids. That’s damn scary itself.”
Max shot him a dirty look only to find him grinning, his teeth flashing in the dim light.
“The point is she’s seen enough that if she were going to give up easily she already would have. She doesn’t give a rat’s ass what happened before this life. She’s said that about a thousand times, even I got that. She also has grit. She hung in there through all this shit. I don’t see the problem here,” Cal said walking closer. “Explain it to me.”
“You don’t know everything,” Max said softly. “Even you don’t know everything this time. Did Liz ever talk about what Tess did? Besides the obvious I mean.”
“No,” Cal answered immediately. “She always said that if she wanted to talk about it she’d talk to you.”
“Yeah well…..we have a difference of opinion about that. I guess,” Max said scratching his ear feeling uncomfortable. “I mean….we agree but we don’t see it the same….Fuck. Maybe we do see it the same way. If she could see it all, the past, the past life, all of it then she’d know. If she knew she’d leave just like the stones say she will.”
“The stones don’t say how she leaves. Tell me about this thing you disagree on but don’t,” Cal said getting the idea that Max had hidden a hellva lot more then he’d ever thought.
“Tess did things to her,” Max said glancing up and then away. “I knew that but I didn’t….I healed her I should have known but things were moving so fast. I didn’t look at everything. Then after that she seemed fine.”
“What did Tess do?” Cal asked tensing until every muscle in his borrowed form quivered with it.
“She twisted things in Liz’s head. I mean, what happened was bad. Tess orchestrating things like she did was bad, really bad but I was able to deal cause it was Liz. You know? I mean….if it had to happen then…..but that’s wrong,” Max said moving to pace away the restless unfocused energy driving him. Tess was already dead, there was no where to go with it. He couldn’t look at Cal anyway he was so ashamed of his thoughts. How could he have thought that? That it was somehow okay if it was Liz? It would be better if it were anyone BUT Liz, which wasn’t really true either. He would never have wished this on her or anyone else. He would never wish Tess on anyone ever. “Tess knew how Liz thought about that stuff. She knew.”
Cal watched Max closely catching just a glimpse of his face as it twisted.
“I knew that and still I didn’t see it. How selfish is that? Tess knew us better then anyone,” Max said turning and throwing up his shield. “Too bad this little trick doesn’t protect Liz a goddamn bit huh? Tess was impervious to my tricks. Like a damn cockroach. She knew I wouldn’t see. I never look below the surface. Do I?”
“That’s not really true,” Cal said seeing part of the problem. “You saw Liz. An eight year old girl in pigtails on the playground. You saw more then that even then.”
“She was seven. No pigtails,” Max refuted.
Cal’s lips twitched but he quickly schooled his expression into a neutral mask. “Okay, no pigtails. The point is that whatever happened in the past is just that. The past. You see now, so take it from here. You have a chance here, Max. A second chance to do right. So in your last life you were a huge prick. So what? Happens to a lot of people. Here on this planet you have a beautiful girl who is blind enough to love you despite what you think. Or what I think. Or what her parents think. You have two kids that, thank god, look like their mother for the most part. This isn’t what happened before. Liz is new. You’re different. You have something that you never had before so don’t fuck it up. Tell me more about what Tess did,” Cal demanded sternly hoping to snap Max out of this and get some useful information.
“Liz has very strong ideas about sex. I knew that, I mean, I could see that. When we umm, when we got close so fast and things got heated I saw it in flashes but I knew before then. That’s why I was so careful not to push her. I love her and I wanted more for her. I wanted her to feel as special as I see her and it all just….went to shit. I was so fucking stupid. Tess was smarter then I was. I left her to get a fucking Coke! Why did I leave her? Stupid. Tess just walked right in,” Max ranted stopping and looking at Cal. “She walked right in and took everything. I didn’t see it. I never saw it coming. You’d think if Kyle’s right and there’s karma, or whatever, that I’d be the one to pay. So why am I never the one that pays? It seems wrong that I get my dream after everything.”
“So who are you trying to punish? Yourself or Liz?” Cal asked quietly. “I think that everyone’s paid enough. Tess did horrible things. Things that no one saw coming. I really think you need to talk to Liz. I think you’ll be surprised by what she says if you give her a chance.”
“Cal, you don’t understand. Liz thinks that I see her like Tess. Or that somehow I’m….disappointed with her. Do you understand? Because if you do please explain it to me,” Max exclaimed.
“Women,” Cal shrugged. “If I could explain them to you then I’d be richer then I am. But I can tell you that you’ll never understand if you stay here with me.”
Max waved him off and began pacing again, burning off excess energy. “I have to think. I have to figure this out so I know what to say. I can’t mess this up.”
“Kid? You’re already messing this up,” Cal said dryly. “Let’s look at this with slightly less….insane point of view. You’re…..what do you call her? Girlfriend? Live in…lover? Personally, I’ll stick with Kitten. So back to my point. Kitten has a nightmare that results in you getting a glimpse into her thoughts and you run like a jackrabbit for three fricken hours, avoiding her, then you wait until she’s in the shower, or was it a bath? To take the kids, leaving her a note, mind you, telling her you’re at your parents. Visiting right? Like Liz is stupid and doesn’t know what you’re doing,” Cal rolled his eyes expressively. “Then you leave the kids with Michael to come up here. So let’s recap. Liz is alone. Bad aliens want to take her. You’re afraid she’s going to leave. So you leave her alone and unprotected to…..do what exactly? Think about how not to screw this up?”
Max stopped and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Ahh shit.”
“Yeah, so I’m sure Liz wants to…..have a few words with you,” Cal said grin back in place. Imagine a recreated King afraid of a Kitten. Life was a funny thing. Cal couldn’t imagine Zan being afraid of one small delicate human girl. Of course he would have thought it impossible for Zan to care about anyone that much. He actually liked Max much better, which wasn’t that surprising on second thought. Zan had been murdered after all. “But before you run right off and stick your foot in your mouth, I need to say something. This gift that I suspect Liz has…..it’s important. It’s important to Kivar. It makes her way more valuable then you ever were to him.”
“I know the Anointed One thing from the prophecy,” Max nodded.
“Don’t blow me here,” Cal said gruffly. “I know. You don’t believe in that shit but Kivar does. That’s all that matters here. He will come for her. She fits. Twice anointed by death and resurrected by Kings. She fits,” Cal shrugged. “If he has a reader, which I would bet he does, he’ll know what the stones say. This is the time to get it together. You think Tess knew you? Everything she knew he knows. If I’m right, he’s been watching for a long time. He’ll know what’s important to Liz and he’ll use it. You’re negligible. Don’t keep to this path you’re on. If you hear nothing else I’ve said hear this. You are on the path into the Lions mouth. Let her in, Max. Now, before she’s not here to let in, understand? The stones aren’t a prophecy. Their message is changeable. She is clear headed when it comes to everything but you. You mess up her balance and make her vulnerable or you can make her stronger. Maybe that’s your answer for why she thinks the things she does. In the absence of truth lies are allowed to flourish unchallenged. Tess built a framework using what she knew about both of you with one purpose. To hurt you and to destroy Liz. So? What are you going to do about it?”
Cal watched Max tear down the path and grinned. “Damn, I’m good. I hope I remember some of that for my picture. The dialog could use a little something.” Making a mental note to call for a rewrite he started down to his car.
After searching everywhere for Liz, he checked in with Michael and got an earful. Ears still ringing he parked in front of the CrashDown and got out. Practicing what he was going to say he reached for the café doors and stepped inside.
Holy shit.
Liz turned as the bell rang knowing it was Max. Her eyes sought him out only to find him standing slack jawed in the doorway blocking the entrance. Her eyebrow lifted and her hand went to her hip, her worry transforming into annoyance. You’d think he’d never seen her in this getup. Thank God he was okay. The jerk.
It was a throat clearing behind him that had him moving forward and he automatically went to his usual booth, sliding in without taking his eyes off of her.
After finishing up table two’s order Liz started over to Max, pen tapping out her annoyance against her thigh.
Max looked up when someone stopped in front of his booth blocking his view of Liz. He frowned not recognizing the guy standing in front of him right away. Before he could speak the guy lost his jackass smile long enough to speak.
“Still chasing after Parker? I’d have thought you’d out grow that by now.”
“And you are?” Max asked.
“Jared Ross. We had some classes together in high school. Before you moved out of state,” Jared smirked. “To be around Liz right? Now that’s devotion. Moving out of state to be with some chick that dumped your ass.”
“Excuse us won’t you?” Liz broke in, neatly cutting off Jared with her hip as she tugged Max to his feet.
“So how is Kyle anyway?” Jared asked Liz his smirk widening.
“Great,” Liz said looking over this….person she had no memory of. “Still has all his hair,” Liz remarked looking at the receding hairline in front of her eyes. She smiled sweetly her eyes flashing as Jared raised a hand to his hair patting it gently. “So nice to see you again…..Jason?” Liz ignored Jared’s muttered correction of his name talking right over him. “But I really need to borrow Max. Enjoy your meal.”
Max coughed as Liz tugged him into the back but fell silent as Liz rounded on him her hands on her hips and her eyes flashing with temper.
“Tell me you’re not hurt,” Liz demanded.
“I’m not. Hurt, that is,” Max said then winced as Liz jabbed her finger into his chest.
“If you ever do this again, so help me God Max, I’ll kill you. It’s one thing to avoid me but quite another to take off with our kids. You promised Erin you’d play with her and then you take off? I’ve called you all day Max!” Liz said glaring at him, antenna bobbing.
“I got your message. I’m sorry I was out at the….ummm rocks and didn’t have a signal,” Max said slightly distracted. “I called and talked to the kids. And Michael. They’re fine. They’re all….fine. I’m sorry. I am. I’m a giant sized prick but..”
“Exaggerating as usual I see,” Liz sighed and relaxed her stance willing to let it go for now. “Okay, but don’t just take off like that again. I was worried and then the kids…..and I couldn’t reach you…..” Liz took a breath and looked up at him. “You don’t have to…if you need time by yourself just say so. Okay?”
“Okay,” Max agreed still mesmerized by the sight of her back in her uniform. “You look….”
“Like a dork. I know,” Liz rolled her eyes.
“Amazing. I was going to say amazing,” Max said tucking back a strand of her hair that had managed to slip out of her scrunchy.
“You’re not in that much trouble,” Liz said her lips quirking up into a smile. “Listen, I have to….get back. I’m stuck here till close soooo”
“I’ll just….wait. In my booth,” Max said a relieved smile crossing his face. Rehearsed speech forgotten, he was happy to just see her relax, reaching over to tweak her antenna he relaxed when she rested her hand on his abdomen.
Feeling his stomach rumble under hand she smiled. “Hungry?”
“Ummm yeah,” Max answered rubbing at his ear as embarrassment set them both on fire.
“Okay, go sit and I’ll just…” Liz motioned toward the kitchen.
He held the door open for her then followed her out into the dining room not even noticing that half the diners where watching. He slid into his booth and back into his favorite hobby. Watching Liz. The uniform just added to it. She looked amazing.
“I thought I might find you here,” Cal said to Max’s back. Walking further into the chamber he allowed the door to close behind him and found a somewhat comfortable perch on a jagged stone protrusion. “So?”
“So what?” Max asked turning slightly to look over at the shapeshifter.
“You want to talk or you want to hide in here all day?” Cal asked no accusation in his flat tone.
“Talk to you?” Max almost laughed. “Like you suddenly care about me and my thoughts? When did that happen?”
Far from offended Cal smiled. “It happened the minute I received Liz’s call. To help her I have to help you. To be honest, it probably happened before then. Listen, talk to me or don’t,” Cal shrugged unconcerned. “But you need to sort this out somehow and fast. The world isn’t going to stop and wait for you to get it together. It doesn’t care about your problems.”
“Much like you,” Max offered turning to fully face Cal, studying him.
“No, not like me,” Cal corrected. “I’m programmed to care to a certain extent. It’s not. What are you doing here, Max? What you’re looking for isn’t here.”
Max sighed and moved restlessly around the chamber, touching things absently as he went, unable to settle in one place. He felt woefully out of his depth and unable to choose the correct path. He knew exactly what he wanted. He just had no idea how to get there. Sorting it out in his head seemed like a Herculean task, he’d been so blind for so long.
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I just needed somewhere to think,” Max said stopping and looking around. “It started here, it’s quiet, and private,” Max shrugged. “It seemed like a good place to figure a few things out.”
Cal stayed quiet for a few minutes sorting out his own thoughts and shoving down his irritation. “So? How’s it working? What have YOU decided?”
Max sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face, hearing plainly Cal’s tone and the silent accusation in it. “Just say it. You’re dying to point out everything I’m doing wrong, so go ahead. Enlighten me.”
“You know what I’m going to say. We’ve had this conversation many times before today. Why would I say it again? You haven’t heard me the twenty times before now,” Cal said leaning back against the wall. “You never heard anything before this life either. Funny which traits stick isn’t it? You’d think that they would have weeded that one out. Well, we have to deal with what we’ve got,” Cal said watching Max’s shoulders bunch under his shirt. “What we’ve got right now is a serious situation. Since you don’t want to talk about you, or you aren’t ready, we’ll focus on your favorite subject.”
Max smiled slightly and leaned against the opposite wall his body tense and ready for a blow.
“I’ve suspected some things for awhile,” Cal said softly, thinking and sorting out his words. “Things about Liz. I’ve never met anyone like her before, not powers wise or personally. That’s attractive to more people then just you, Max.”
“I know that,” Max agreed. “She’s always been special.”
“Yes, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that because she’s bound to you that she’s safe. That it somehow protects her from being taken from you,” Cal said seriously. “You know better. You’ve seen what the stones say.”
“I don’t believe in that shit,” Max cut him off sharply.
“I realize that,” Cal said harshly. “I’ve had two lifetimes of you telling me that you don’t believe. What I don’t understand is how you can choose which bits and pieces you believe about your past. This is exactly what got you killed before. This blindness you exhibit when you don’t WANT to believe something. You believe in the power of the healing stones. What’s so different between them? The stones KNOW what Liz is. They know what you are. Whether you choose to believe that or not.”
Cal watched the struggle taking place in Max’s expression but stayed quiet, waiting for Max to sort out his thoughts enough to speak. He was going to have to learn patience, painful as that was. Dealing with Max’s hard head had never been his strong suit before now. But like he said, the world didn’t stop to let him sort out his issues anymore then it did for Max.
Privately, Cal was fairly sure Max did believe in the stones. Otherwise they wouldn’t be here on Earth and Max wouldn’t be so afraid. Fear leaked off of him, filling the chamber around them. The question was if he would listen or stick his head in the sand again for the second life in a row. Sighing, Cal decided to talk to fill the silence that was stretching well past the fifteen-minute mark.
“Have you ever noticed that some people just seem to be easy to be around?” Cal asked seemingly changing topics, working around to his point. “Liz is one of those people. She sees value in people without being blind to their faults. She takes the good to heart and works around the not so good. It’s how she can balance all of the people in her life that all have different blind spots.”
“Your point?” Max asked.
“The point is that that doesn’t come without effort. Just as your gifts come with their own brand of effort. I don’t claim to have all the answers. All I know is what I’ve seen. She sees a lot of things clearly, she understands how things can slant people’s perceptions and takes that for what it is. Why do you think that is?” Cal asked trying another way of getting Max to see. To open his eyes and just look at what was around him.
“She’s smart. She’s amazingly intelligent and caring,” Max said shrugging. “She’s always seen things in people.”
“Yes, she has but I think it’s more then that. Noah gets his gifts from somewhere and I don’t think it’s you,” Cal said directly. “There’s a reason he’s as close as he is to her. Why their connection is so deep. All the other reasons are true but I don’t think that’s all of it. I think you’ve always sensed her gifts and I think its part of what drew you to her. You’ve never been as open as you are here, with her. You’ve never formed connections easily, Max. So why now? Why her? Why did you react the way you have all along?”
“What do you mean?” Max asked confused. “She was shot. She was dying so I healed her.”
“So? You healed Kyle, Michael, Isabel, birds, children you don’t even know. So what? That’s not a connection. Don’t make that mistake. You’re assuming that the healing was the beginning and I don’t believe it was. I think it forced your hand but I think things started long before then. You’ve assumed all along that YOU made the connection and I don’t think that’s the case. Something’s been different all along with her. So is the difference you or is it her?” Cal asked watching him.
“You think its her,” Max stated watching him.
“Yes, I do,” Cal agreed. “She reaches out and draws things in. You know enough to realize that people put things out there. They transmit emotions, strong thoughts, memories, it’s all out there if you can tap into it. If you’re open to it. Everything has energy of some kind and depending on how you’re wired, what your gifts are, you can pick up on that. Isabel picks up on dreams, Ava on thoughts and perceptions to a degree, Michael draws on energy and solidifies it into a purer form, and you manipulate it to heal and shield. It’s all just energy in different forms. I think the reason you’ve always been drawn to her is partly her gift to absorb all the random garbage, filter through it, and make it seem not as overwhelming. She doesn’t even realize it. She just does it. I know she’s very sensitive to emotion. Just like Noah is. I know she’s able to connect to other people, I’ve heard her, I’ve seen it. I don’t know what to label her gift but it’s there, even without a label. Think about it.”
“I don’t know,” Max said thoughtfully. “Possibly but what’s the difference? She’s so much better with her powers, we all are. Does it really matter what this thing is? She’s Liz. It’s all just her.”
“It matters because others are watching. We don’t live in a vacuum. Unlike you, others won’t shut her out. Quite the opposite actually,” Cal said folding his arms over his chest. “This bond you have is weakened, it’s been almost four years and I think it’s in worse shape now then it was then. Don’t get cocky. She can be taken from you. One bond doesn’t exclude others you should know that. Just because she’s tied to you doesn’t mean she’s useless to others. She’s valuable just for herself. You know that and fear it. The stones told you that years ago and still you shut down. Tell me, if you don’t choose to see it does that mean it’s not really happening? Is that it?”
“You’re setting up the circumstances of her leaving daily. By shutting down like you are you’re shoving her away, right out that door,” Cal said seriously. Max needed to wake up. Fast. Maybe he wasn’t the best choice for this job but he was the only one with certain skills, so there you had it. He was drafted by default, much like he had been the first time. Looking at this situation was like watching a house catch fire and burn. No matter how much water he tossed, no matter how loudly he shouted no one seemed to hear him. “You’re giving them a very big opening to walk right in and take everything. She can’t continue on like this, Max, and you know that. Ignoring this won’t make it go away. Testing her this way is dangerous.”
“I’m not….I don’t think I’m testing her,” Max protested.
“Really? Then why are you here while she’s out there? Why did you go running today and stay out until you knew I’d be there? No one runs for three hours straight! Why did you then come out here, avoid dealing with whatever you discovered last night? Are you waiting for her to go to sleep tonight and dream again? Maybe she’ll call out and have her call answered by someone else? Then you can say it wasn’t you that drove her away, it was her that left. She didn’t stay like she said she would so she failed your test. Will that make it better? When she takes the kids and leaves? That’s where this is heading. Because in the end no matter how much she loves you she’s going to look at those kids and realize that they need a stable home. That her staying and being so upset all the time isn’t what’s best for anyone. You are both so careful about what you say and don’t say. You dance around the edges of the problem but are afraid to really get into it since you might hurt the other by saying what? What’s worse then where you are?” Cal asked frustrated.
“There’s worse,” Max said convinced. “I’ve lived worse. The stones are pointing to worse yet.”
“Maybe,” Cal allowed his eyes locking onto Max’s. “But hiding isn’t going change that.”
“If she knew what I was she’d leave,” Max said looking down.
Cal puzzled that out for a minute before speaking. “You mean all the past life stuff or the past in this life?”
“Both. Either,” Max shrugged.
“I think you’re wrong about that,” Cal said carefully. With a sigh and an eye roll he stood up and moved away from the wall. “What’s she going to see that scares you so badly? She already knows you’re the father of both her kids. That’s damn scary itself.”
Max shot him a dirty look only to find him grinning, his teeth flashing in the dim light.
“The point is she’s seen enough that if she were going to give up easily she already would have. She doesn’t give a rat’s ass what happened before this life. She’s said that about a thousand times, even I got that. She also has grit. She hung in there through all this shit. I don’t see the problem here,” Cal said walking closer. “Explain it to me.”
“You don’t know everything,” Max said softly. “Even you don’t know everything this time. Did Liz ever talk about what Tess did? Besides the obvious I mean.”
“No,” Cal answered immediately. “She always said that if she wanted to talk about it she’d talk to you.”
“Yeah well…..we have a difference of opinion about that. I guess,” Max said scratching his ear feeling uncomfortable. “I mean….we agree but we don’t see it the same….Fuck. Maybe we do see it the same way. If she could see it all, the past, the past life, all of it then she’d know. If she knew she’d leave just like the stones say she will.”
“The stones don’t say how she leaves. Tell me about this thing you disagree on but don’t,” Cal said getting the idea that Max had hidden a hellva lot more then he’d ever thought.
“Tess did things to her,” Max said glancing up and then away. “I knew that but I didn’t….I healed her I should have known but things were moving so fast. I didn’t look at everything. Then after that she seemed fine.”
“What did Tess do?” Cal asked tensing until every muscle in his borrowed form quivered with it.
“She twisted things in Liz’s head. I mean, what happened was bad. Tess orchestrating things like she did was bad, really bad but I was able to deal cause it was Liz. You know? I mean….if it had to happen then…..but that’s wrong,” Max said moving to pace away the restless unfocused energy driving him. Tess was already dead, there was no where to go with it. He couldn’t look at Cal anyway he was so ashamed of his thoughts. How could he have thought that? That it was somehow okay if it was Liz? It would be better if it were anyone BUT Liz, which wasn’t really true either. He would never have wished this on her or anyone else. He would never wish Tess on anyone ever. “Tess knew how Liz thought about that stuff. She knew.”
Cal watched Max closely catching just a glimpse of his face as it twisted.
“I knew that and still I didn’t see it. How selfish is that? Tess knew us better then anyone,” Max said turning and throwing up his shield. “Too bad this little trick doesn’t protect Liz a goddamn bit huh? Tess was impervious to my tricks. Like a damn cockroach. She knew I wouldn’t see. I never look below the surface. Do I?”
“That’s not really true,” Cal said seeing part of the problem. “You saw Liz. An eight year old girl in pigtails on the playground. You saw more then that even then.”
“She was seven. No pigtails,” Max refuted.
Cal’s lips twitched but he quickly schooled his expression into a neutral mask. “Okay, no pigtails. The point is that whatever happened in the past is just that. The past. You see now, so take it from here. You have a chance here, Max. A second chance to do right. So in your last life you were a huge prick. So what? Happens to a lot of people. Here on this planet you have a beautiful girl who is blind enough to love you despite what you think. Or what I think. Or what her parents think. You have two kids that, thank god, look like their mother for the most part. This isn’t what happened before. Liz is new. You’re different. You have something that you never had before so don’t fuck it up. Tell me more about what Tess did,” Cal demanded sternly hoping to snap Max out of this and get some useful information.
“Liz has very strong ideas about sex. I knew that, I mean, I could see that. When we umm, when we got close so fast and things got heated I saw it in flashes but I knew before then. That’s why I was so careful not to push her. I love her and I wanted more for her. I wanted her to feel as special as I see her and it all just….went to shit. I was so fucking stupid. Tess was smarter then I was. I left her to get a fucking Coke! Why did I leave her? Stupid. Tess just walked right in,” Max ranted stopping and looking at Cal. “She walked right in and took everything. I didn’t see it. I never saw it coming. You’d think if Kyle’s right and there’s karma, or whatever, that I’d be the one to pay. So why am I never the one that pays? It seems wrong that I get my dream after everything.”
“So who are you trying to punish? Yourself or Liz?” Cal asked quietly. “I think that everyone’s paid enough. Tess did horrible things. Things that no one saw coming. I really think you need to talk to Liz. I think you’ll be surprised by what she says if you give her a chance.”
“Cal, you don’t understand. Liz thinks that I see her like Tess. Or that somehow I’m….disappointed with her. Do you understand? Because if you do please explain it to me,” Max exclaimed.
“Women,” Cal shrugged. “If I could explain them to you then I’d be richer then I am. But I can tell you that you’ll never understand if you stay here with me.”
Max waved him off and began pacing again, burning off excess energy. “I have to think. I have to figure this out so I know what to say. I can’t mess this up.”
“Kid? You’re already messing this up,” Cal said dryly. “Let’s look at this with slightly less….insane point of view. You’re…..what do you call her? Girlfriend? Live in…lover? Personally, I’ll stick with Kitten. So back to my point. Kitten has a nightmare that results in you getting a glimpse into her thoughts and you run like a jackrabbit for three fricken hours, avoiding her, then you wait until she’s in the shower, or was it a bath? To take the kids, leaving her a note, mind you, telling her you’re at your parents. Visiting right? Like Liz is stupid and doesn’t know what you’re doing,” Cal rolled his eyes expressively. “Then you leave the kids with Michael to come up here. So let’s recap. Liz is alone. Bad aliens want to take her. You’re afraid she’s going to leave. So you leave her alone and unprotected to…..do what exactly? Think about how not to screw this up?”
Max stopped and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Ahh shit.”
“Yeah, so I’m sure Liz wants to…..have a few words with you,” Cal said grin back in place. Imagine a recreated King afraid of a Kitten. Life was a funny thing. Cal couldn’t imagine Zan being afraid of one small delicate human girl. Of course he would have thought it impossible for Zan to care about anyone that much. He actually liked Max much better, which wasn’t that surprising on second thought. Zan had been murdered after all. “But before you run right off and stick your foot in your mouth, I need to say something. This gift that I suspect Liz has…..it’s important. It’s important to Kivar. It makes her way more valuable then you ever were to him.”
“I know the Anointed One thing from the prophecy,” Max nodded.
“Don’t blow me here,” Cal said gruffly. “I know. You don’t believe in that shit but Kivar does. That’s all that matters here. He will come for her. She fits. Twice anointed by death and resurrected by Kings. She fits,” Cal shrugged. “If he has a reader, which I would bet he does, he’ll know what the stones say. This is the time to get it together. You think Tess knew you? Everything she knew he knows. If I’m right, he’s been watching for a long time. He’ll know what’s important to Liz and he’ll use it. You’re negligible. Don’t keep to this path you’re on. If you hear nothing else I’ve said hear this. You are on the path into the Lions mouth. Let her in, Max. Now, before she’s not here to let in, understand? The stones aren’t a prophecy. Their message is changeable. She is clear headed when it comes to everything but you. You mess up her balance and make her vulnerable or you can make her stronger. Maybe that’s your answer for why she thinks the things she does. In the absence of truth lies are allowed to flourish unchallenged. Tess built a framework using what she knew about both of you with one purpose. To hurt you and to destroy Liz. So? What are you going to do about it?”
Cal watched Max tear down the path and grinned. “Damn, I’m good. I hope I remember some of that for my picture. The dialog could use a little something.” Making a mental note to call for a rewrite he started down to his car.
After searching everywhere for Liz, he checked in with Michael and got an earful. Ears still ringing he parked in front of the CrashDown and got out. Practicing what he was going to say he reached for the café doors and stepped inside.
Holy shit.
Liz turned as the bell rang knowing it was Max. Her eyes sought him out only to find him standing slack jawed in the doorway blocking the entrance. Her eyebrow lifted and her hand went to her hip, her worry transforming into annoyance. You’d think he’d never seen her in this getup. Thank God he was okay. The jerk.
It was a throat clearing behind him that had him moving forward and he automatically went to his usual booth, sliding in without taking his eyes off of her.
After finishing up table two’s order Liz started over to Max, pen tapping out her annoyance against her thigh.
Max looked up when someone stopped in front of his booth blocking his view of Liz. He frowned not recognizing the guy standing in front of him right away. Before he could speak the guy lost his jackass smile long enough to speak.
“Still chasing after Parker? I’d have thought you’d out grow that by now.”
“And you are?” Max asked.
“Jared Ross. We had some classes together in high school. Before you moved out of state,” Jared smirked. “To be around Liz right? Now that’s devotion. Moving out of state to be with some chick that dumped your ass.”
“Excuse us won’t you?” Liz broke in, neatly cutting off Jared with her hip as she tugged Max to his feet.
“So how is Kyle anyway?” Jared asked Liz his smirk widening.
“Great,” Liz said looking over this….person she had no memory of. “Still has all his hair,” Liz remarked looking at the receding hairline in front of her eyes. She smiled sweetly her eyes flashing as Jared raised a hand to his hair patting it gently. “So nice to see you again…..Jason?” Liz ignored Jared’s muttered correction of his name talking right over him. “But I really need to borrow Max. Enjoy your meal.”
Max coughed as Liz tugged him into the back but fell silent as Liz rounded on him her hands on her hips and her eyes flashing with temper.
“Tell me you’re not hurt,” Liz demanded.
“I’m not. Hurt, that is,” Max said then winced as Liz jabbed her finger into his chest.
“If you ever do this again, so help me God Max, I’ll kill you. It’s one thing to avoid me but quite another to take off with our kids. You promised Erin you’d play with her and then you take off? I’ve called you all day Max!” Liz said glaring at him, antenna bobbing.
“I got your message. I’m sorry I was out at the….ummm rocks and didn’t have a signal,” Max said slightly distracted. “I called and talked to the kids. And Michael. They’re fine. They’re all….fine. I’m sorry. I am. I’m a giant sized prick but..”
“Exaggerating as usual I see,” Liz sighed and relaxed her stance willing to let it go for now. “Okay, but don’t just take off like that again. I was worried and then the kids…..and I couldn’t reach you…..” Liz took a breath and looked up at him. “You don’t have to…if you need time by yourself just say so. Okay?”
“Okay,” Max agreed still mesmerized by the sight of her back in her uniform. “You look….”
“Like a dork. I know,” Liz rolled her eyes.
“Amazing. I was going to say amazing,” Max said tucking back a strand of her hair that had managed to slip out of her scrunchy.
“You’re not in that much trouble,” Liz said her lips quirking up into a smile. “Listen, I have to….get back. I’m stuck here till close soooo”
“I’ll just….wait. In my booth,” Max said a relieved smile crossing his face. Rehearsed speech forgotten, he was happy to just see her relax, reaching over to tweak her antenna he relaxed when she rested her hand on his abdomen.
Feeling his stomach rumble under hand she smiled. “Hungry?”
“Ummm yeah,” Max answered rubbing at his ear as embarrassment set them both on fire.
“Okay, go sit and I’ll just…” Liz motioned toward the kitchen.
He held the door open for her then followed her out into the dining room not even noticing that half the diners where watching. He slid into his booth and back into his favorite hobby. Watching Liz. The uniform just added to it. She looked amazing.
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
Falling back into old habits Liz made a quick circuit around the dining room filling drinks and checking on her tables, catching up while three of her tables were waiting for their food. Rushing to bus her tables before her dad could try and do it she worried about how much this kind of thing happened around here. How much trouble were her parents having with the café?
Snagging the order she had put in for Max she grabbed a full bottle of Tabasco and headed over to his booth. Gently placing his plates in front of him she took a minute to look him over. Reassuring herself that he was all right. Concern had her lingering.
“Did I get it right?” Liz asked softly referring to his order.
“Yeah, it’s perfect,” Max said smiling up at her. “I’ve been craving my favorite meal since we got back.”
“Glad to be of service,” Liz teased lightly, reaching out to steal a fry.
Max watched her pop the fry into her mouth and grinned. “That was supposed be my fry.”
“Consider it my tip,” Liz replied and snagged another one before walking away to get Max a refill on his drink. Swinging behind the counter she started refilling Max’s soda wondering if she should call to check on the kids just in case when her mom touched her arm drawing her attention.
“Honey, why don’t you take a break? The rush is over for now and you never did get to eat anything,” Nancy suggested glancing over at Max who was doing more Liz watching then he was eating. “You must be starving by now. Go ahead and eat with Max.”
“Ummm you sure? I still have one table that’s waiting for their food and…” Liz started.
“Go,” Nancy said smiling. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Okay, thanks Mom,” Liz agreed quickly.
While wiping down the counter and checking on the few occupied tables Nancy covertly watched Liz with Max, thinking that it was almost like time had reversed itself. She couldn’t count the number of times in high school that Liz and Max had sat in that exact booth. She knew that they were having problems but seeing them like this gave her hope that they’d be able to work it out. Unlike Jeff she didn’t judge Max as harshly, not because she thought he hadn’t made some huge mistakes, but more because Liz obviously loved him. She understood that she would never know everything about her daughter’s life and how things came to be the way they were. What she did know was what she had seen over the last four years.
Jeff tended to look with a critical eye, finding all of Max’s shortcomings and forgetting that Max had made some major changes, as had Liz. For such young parents they’d done a remarkable job with all the pressures and adjustments demanded of them. Max was an excellent father and had made a lot of concessions for Liz’s education. When she had stayed in California to help with the “newborn” babies, Nancy had often found Max hovering protectively around Liz and all three infants, a little uncertain but willing to learn what to do to help. Liz had always involved him and encouraged him to spend time with the kids, even when their future was more tentative then it was now. Things hadn’t been easy for either of them, but instead of looking for failures Nancy preferred to hope for the successes and help when she could. Liz’s happiness meant just as much to her as it did to Jeff. She just went about things differently, not wanting to push Liz away by being overly critical.
“So what did you do all day? Just buy out the stores?” Max asked as he dowsed only half his fries with Tabasco. Liz’s salad didn’t look very filling to him so he’d leave the other half for her.
“Umm pretty much,” Liz answered understanding the silent agreement to stick to light conversational subjects. Ducking her head to hide her smile she took a bite of her salad.
“Pretty much?” Max asked zeroing in on her evasive answer. Spinning his plate so the fries were closest to Liz he glanced over at her.
“Um hum,” Liz agreed around her bite of food. After swallowing she used her fork to pick out the tomatoes and drop them onto Max’s plate. “You know Maria, she makes everything a drama. At the new store that I bought my necklace at she haggled with the guy so zealously that I think he gave the necklace away just to get rid of us. He looked a little shaky when we left. At the bookstore she got into an argument with Norman Sellers about what a sad selection of children’s books they offered and was deeply offended by the lack of coloring books. She told him that by the time her baby came he better have his shit together or she’d open her own bookstore.”
Max grinned, totally able to picture what Liz was describing, as he added her tomatoes to the mound of peppers on his burger.
“All of that was nothing though compared to the drama of clothes shopping. Michael’s in for a huge bill and an earful after Maria had to settle for pants with an elastic waist,” Liz said rolling her eyes and smiling. “Her shriek echoed Max. It was so embarrassing.”
Max choked over his burger as a laugh caught him by surprise.
Liz plucked a fry off of his plate and dipped it in her salad dressing before she realized it had hot sauce on it. Wrinkling her nose she offered it to Max, popping it into his mouth when he opened it for her. Drawing her leg up underneath her she stole another fry.
“What about you? What’d you buy besides a necklace?” Max asked shifting to sit back so Liz was leaning against his side.
“Ummm that and a couple of books for the kids. I also bought them a star chart. We can take my old telescope home with us too,” Liz said then reached for his glass of Coke.
“Aren’t they a little young for that yet?” Max asked then took a huge bite of his burger. Damn he had missed this. This tasted of home to him.
“My dad started me out pretty young. They’ll like the chart and then we can point out the stars without the telescope then eventually they can see them up close. It’ll be fun. My dad always used to take me out into the desert for the best view,” Liz said looking forward to doing the same with the twins. Of course Erin was likely to drag home all sorts of animals but still it’d be a blast.
“Okay,” Max said in easy agreement. He could hear the excitement in her voice at the idea of sharing that tradition with the kids. He smiled picturing Liz on a blanket pointing out the stars to their kids. Sounded pretty good to him too.
“Oh umm we sort of ran into Sean too,” Liz said offhandedly, waiting until Max was distracted with his food to mention it. “And umm one of Kyle’s friends.”
Max lost interest in his food and focused on Liz, all thoughts of the spicy blend of hot peppers and tang of the tomatoes forgotten. “Where was this?”
“Just on the street. You know,” Liz waved her hand dismissing the importance of it. She didn’t mention that Sean had been driving past and had, in fact, put the car in reverse, backing up to send out a piercing wolf whistle that had sent Maria into a five minute long tirade about what an asshole Sean was. Which was the whole point of the wolf whistle she’d bet. Liz hid a smile by taking a sip of Max’s Coke as she thought about it. Rolling her eyes when she saw Max’s expression she nudged him with her elbow. “You can’t honestly be worried. He’s seeing Ava and you know it. He’s just…..Sean and I’ve known him like….forever. Don’t be silly.”
Max made a noncommittal response while his finger’s tightened on his burger mashing it thoroughly. He had never liked Sean and that feeling had only grown from their first meeting. Knowing that Liz had trusted Sean more then she had him at any point hadn’t earned Sean any warmer feelings on his part. His stomach churned just thinking about how close they had actually been.
Liz rolled her eyes again at Max’s lack of a verbal response amazed that Sean still earned such a response after all this time. Sean was perfectly happy with the status quo and had really been a great friend to her, back then and now. Maybe a little annoying some times but certainly entertaining in his own way. She was glad Ava saw that in him, they were sort of cute together and he’d really turned himself around.
“What’s he doing now anyway?” Max asked curious.
Liz smiled and bit the inside of her cheek before answering. “He bought out the locksmith shop and runs it now. He added some home and car alarm systems that sort of thing. Ava said he’s doing really well. He took some electrical training in trades school and can install that stuff and everything.”
“Guess he’d know a good lock when he saw it with all his breaking and entering experience,” Max mumbled around a bite of his food.
“He was pretty good at it,” Liz admitted. “For a guy with no powers he sure managed to pick a lock fast.”
When he shot Liz a sour look he found her smiling in amusement.
“What? Like you’ve never committed a felony?” Liz asked quirking her eyebrow at him.
“I never got caught if you’ll remember. Plus, I never committed felonies just to break into bowling alleys,” Max replied with a scowl.
“You should have. It was fun,” Liz teased smirking as she bit into a stolen fry. “And it was luck alone that you didn’t get caught red handed more then once. Atherton’s dome was close and so was the Sheriff’s station. Then there was the girl’s locker room and didn’t Brody catch you poking around in his stuff?”
Max just rolled his eyes but smiled at the mention of the girl’s locker room. You couldn’t get much more fun then that and it had been for a very good reason.
“You guys actually seem to have some things in common,” Liz said shooting Max a look from under lowered lashes.
“That just makes me feel so much better. Thank you for that,” Max drawled eyeing her.
“No problem,” Liz returned, her eyes sparkling with laughter as she licked her finger clean of salt. She failed to notice his eyes darken at the action, busy with swiping another fry.
His eyes traced over her face holding onto her slight smile and the amusement shining from her eyes. He wanted to hold things right here, where there was no Kivar threatening her safety, no nightmares. The ever-present fear that he’d been trying to ignore for days floated to the surface briefly before he tramped down on it focusing solely on this moment, on Liz.
Looking over at him Liz paused seeing the intensity of his gaze. “What’s wrong?”
Max shook his head briefly sending her a slight smile. “Nothing.”
“Is it Sean?” Liz asked studying his eyes. “Because I was just teasing you. You don’t have anything to worry about from him. He’s a friend that’s it,” Liz assured him, softly stroking a finger over his jaw. “I like you better.”
“Huh,” Max responded eyes warm on hers. “What do you like better?”
Liz felt her lips tilt up as the faintest flicker of his feelings reached her. “What do I like best? Is that the question?”
“I guess. Close enough anyway,” Max replied watching as she thought about that for a minute.
“I don’t know. It’s hard to pick one thing,” Liz said slowly then let her eyes drop down to his mouth. “I think the way you smell is pretty high on my list.”
“What?” Max asked blinking in surprise. He certainly hadn’t expected that answer out of all of her possible responses. He had actually expected her to continue to tease him but he could see by her expression she wasn’t teasing.
“Uh huh,” Liz nodded. “I think so. For some reason….it just,” Liz trailed off lifting her eyes to his and sending out tentative wisps of feeling, trying to show him what she couldn’t logically explain.
Max felt the gentle hesitant brush of her and held on, encouraging her to form the connection she was seeking, wanting to feel at least a little of her. He was startled by what he got.
Her breathing slowed, evening out, as she felt Max allow her to float along his surface. Her pupils expanded, looking deep into his eyes focusing on his question to her that had sparked this whole thing. Wanting to give him the answer that words just wouldn’t.
~ Tears slipped down her cheeks and dripped off of her chin. “He has your ears,” Was all she was able to say before completely loosing her composure.
Max pulled her close tucking her head into his neck and hugging her tight. “It’s okay. We’ll find him. I promise.”
Liz wrapped her arms around his waist as she tried to get back to a functional state. Despite the location and timing the familiar scent of Max was comforting and allowed her to steady herself. “Max, you have to let me…do this the only way I know how. I don’t know…how to..handle this any other way. I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean anything by it I just..I need to move. I have to keep moving.”
~ Liz moaned and twisted around in the confined space of the Jeep. Clutching the lapels of his leather jacket she snuggled closer mouth moving avidly under his.
As the windows fogged over she sought out the heat of his body burrowing closer, feeling her desire spike as she breathed him in with every panting breath. All thoughts of the movie they were supposed to go and see faded. There was no where else she wanted to be.
~ Marveling over every movement Noah made she gently ran her finger over his lips watching them pucker seeking milk. Smiling as Noah kicked his feet, fist angrily waving when no milk was forthcoming she was totally enraptured with everything he did, just happy he was alive, healthy, and here.
Feeling the bed shift Liz looked over to see Max carefully sitting down looking tired but just as amazed as she felt.
“Isn’t he perfect?” Liz whispered awe lacing her voice.
“He’s just as perfect as you said he would be,” Max agreed his chest tight with emotion. Looking from Noah over to Liz those feelings swelled showing vividly in his eyes.
“I can’t believe he’s ours,” Liz said softly looking back down at the wiggling bundle on the bed next to her.
“It’s hard to deny he’s ours with those ears and all that hair,” Max said moving closer the pride in his tone present despite his teasing words. “Have you slept at all?”
“Umm a little,” Liz lied. “I’m still a little….wired I guess.”
“You need to rest Liz,” Max worried not fooled by her answer. Stretching out on his side he propped his head up with his hand and reached over Liz to close a snap on the baby’s clothes.
“He’s got a very nice glowing handprint,” Liz said looking back at Max. Taking a deep breath she relaxed feeling something settle inside her as his warm scent enveloped her, reminding her of all they had been through today, of his steady presence through the fear and pain. “Max, thank you. For everything you did today. For our son.”
Max’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “I should be thanking you, Liz. He’s beautiful just like you are, strong like you. If he wasn’t he wouldn’t be here. You don’t have to thank me. I told you whenever you call me I’ll come.”
Liz sent him a shaky smile exhaustion weighing on her, making her limbs feel heavier then normal and her eyes felt gritty. “Will you stay? Here? Just until…”
“Of course I will. I’m not going anywhere,” Max interrupted when she hesitated.
She fell asleep knowing that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her or Noah. Even in sleep she knew he was still there by the familiar scent of his body that overrode the generic scent of the hotel room, reminding her of home.
Liz blinked, breaking their connection and letting the outside world seep back into her awareness. Seeing the stunned look on his face she smiled.
“You smell nice,” Liz said mildly then turned back to her salad.
Max just sat there unmoving, to shocked to say anything at all.
Falling back into old habits Liz made a quick circuit around the dining room filling drinks and checking on her tables, catching up while three of her tables were waiting for their food. Rushing to bus her tables before her dad could try and do it she worried about how much this kind of thing happened around here. How much trouble were her parents having with the café?
Snagging the order she had put in for Max she grabbed a full bottle of Tabasco and headed over to his booth. Gently placing his plates in front of him she took a minute to look him over. Reassuring herself that he was all right. Concern had her lingering.
“Did I get it right?” Liz asked softly referring to his order.
“Yeah, it’s perfect,” Max said smiling up at her. “I’ve been craving my favorite meal since we got back.”
“Glad to be of service,” Liz teased lightly, reaching out to steal a fry.
Max watched her pop the fry into her mouth and grinned. “That was supposed be my fry.”
“Consider it my tip,” Liz replied and snagged another one before walking away to get Max a refill on his drink. Swinging behind the counter she started refilling Max’s soda wondering if she should call to check on the kids just in case when her mom touched her arm drawing her attention.
“Honey, why don’t you take a break? The rush is over for now and you never did get to eat anything,” Nancy suggested glancing over at Max who was doing more Liz watching then he was eating. “You must be starving by now. Go ahead and eat with Max.”
“Ummm you sure? I still have one table that’s waiting for their food and…” Liz started.
“Go,” Nancy said smiling. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Okay, thanks Mom,” Liz agreed quickly.
While wiping down the counter and checking on the few occupied tables Nancy covertly watched Liz with Max, thinking that it was almost like time had reversed itself. She couldn’t count the number of times in high school that Liz and Max had sat in that exact booth. She knew that they were having problems but seeing them like this gave her hope that they’d be able to work it out. Unlike Jeff she didn’t judge Max as harshly, not because she thought he hadn’t made some huge mistakes, but more because Liz obviously loved him. She understood that she would never know everything about her daughter’s life and how things came to be the way they were. What she did know was what she had seen over the last four years.
Jeff tended to look with a critical eye, finding all of Max’s shortcomings and forgetting that Max had made some major changes, as had Liz. For such young parents they’d done a remarkable job with all the pressures and adjustments demanded of them. Max was an excellent father and had made a lot of concessions for Liz’s education. When she had stayed in California to help with the “newborn” babies, Nancy had often found Max hovering protectively around Liz and all three infants, a little uncertain but willing to learn what to do to help. Liz had always involved him and encouraged him to spend time with the kids, even when their future was more tentative then it was now. Things hadn’t been easy for either of them, but instead of looking for failures Nancy preferred to hope for the successes and help when she could. Liz’s happiness meant just as much to her as it did to Jeff. She just went about things differently, not wanting to push Liz away by being overly critical.
“So what did you do all day? Just buy out the stores?” Max asked as he dowsed only half his fries with Tabasco. Liz’s salad didn’t look very filling to him so he’d leave the other half for her.
“Umm pretty much,” Liz answered understanding the silent agreement to stick to light conversational subjects. Ducking her head to hide her smile she took a bite of her salad.
“Pretty much?” Max asked zeroing in on her evasive answer. Spinning his plate so the fries were closest to Liz he glanced over at her.
“Um hum,” Liz agreed around her bite of food. After swallowing she used her fork to pick out the tomatoes and drop them onto Max’s plate. “You know Maria, she makes everything a drama. At the new store that I bought my necklace at she haggled with the guy so zealously that I think he gave the necklace away just to get rid of us. He looked a little shaky when we left. At the bookstore she got into an argument with Norman Sellers about what a sad selection of children’s books they offered and was deeply offended by the lack of coloring books. She told him that by the time her baby came he better have his shit together or she’d open her own bookstore.”
Max grinned, totally able to picture what Liz was describing, as he added her tomatoes to the mound of peppers on his burger.
“All of that was nothing though compared to the drama of clothes shopping. Michael’s in for a huge bill and an earful after Maria had to settle for pants with an elastic waist,” Liz said rolling her eyes and smiling. “Her shriek echoed Max. It was so embarrassing.”
Max choked over his burger as a laugh caught him by surprise.
Liz plucked a fry off of his plate and dipped it in her salad dressing before she realized it had hot sauce on it. Wrinkling her nose she offered it to Max, popping it into his mouth when he opened it for her. Drawing her leg up underneath her she stole another fry.
“What about you? What’d you buy besides a necklace?” Max asked shifting to sit back so Liz was leaning against his side.
“Ummm that and a couple of books for the kids. I also bought them a star chart. We can take my old telescope home with us too,” Liz said then reached for his glass of Coke.
“Aren’t they a little young for that yet?” Max asked then took a huge bite of his burger. Damn he had missed this. This tasted of home to him.
“My dad started me out pretty young. They’ll like the chart and then we can point out the stars without the telescope then eventually they can see them up close. It’ll be fun. My dad always used to take me out into the desert for the best view,” Liz said looking forward to doing the same with the twins. Of course Erin was likely to drag home all sorts of animals but still it’d be a blast.
“Okay,” Max said in easy agreement. He could hear the excitement in her voice at the idea of sharing that tradition with the kids. He smiled picturing Liz on a blanket pointing out the stars to their kids. Sounded pretty good to him too.
“Oh umm we sort of ran into Sean too,” Liz said offhandedly, waiting until Max was distracted with his food to mention it. “And umm one of Kyle’s friends.”
Max lost interest in his food and focused on Liz, all thoughts of the spicy blend of hot peppers and tang of the tomatoes forgotten. “Where was this?”
“Just on the street. You know,” Liz waved her hand dismissing the importance of it. She didn’t mention that Sean had been driving past and had, in fact, put the car in reverse, backing up to send out a piercing wolf whistle that had sent Maria into a five minute long tirade about what an asshole Sean was. Which was the whole point of the wolf whistle she’d bet. Liz hid a smile by taking a sip of Max’s Coke as she thought about it. Rolling her eyes when she saw Max’s expression she nudged him with her elbow. “You can’t honestly be worried. He’s seeing Ava and you know it. He’s just…..Sean and I’ve known him like….forever. Don’t be silly.”
Max made a noncommittal response while his finger’s tightened on his burger mashing it thoroughly. He had never liked Sean and that feeling had only grown from their first meeting. Knowing that Liz had trusted Sean more then she had him at any point hadn’t earned Sean any warmer feelings on his part. His stomach churned just thinking about how close they had actually been.
Liz rolled her eyes again at Max’s lack of a verbal response amazed that Sean still earned such a response after all this time. Sean was perfectly happy with the status quo and had really been a great friend to her, back then and now. Maybe a little annoying some times but certainly entertaining in his own way. She was glad Ava saw that in him, they were sort of cute together and he’d really turned himself around.
“What’s he doing now anyway?” Max asked curious.
Liz smiled and bit the inside of her cheek before answering. “He bought out the locksmith shop and runs it now. He added some home and car alarm systems that sort of thing. Ava said he’s doing really well. He took some electrical training in trades school and can install that stuff and everything.”
“Guess he’d know a good lock when he saw it with all his breaking and entering experience,” Max mumbled around a bite of his food.
“He was pretty good at it,” Liz admitted. “For a guy with no powers he sure managed to pick a lock fast.”
When he shot Liz a sour look he found her smiling in amusement.
“What? Like you’ve never committed a felony?” Liz asked quirking her eyebrow at him.
“I never got caught if you’ll remember. Plus, I never committed felonies just to break into bowling alleys,” Max replied with a scowl.
“You should have. It was fun,” Liz teased smirking as she bit into a stolen fry. “And it was luck alone that you didn’t get caught red handed more then once. Atherton’s dome was close and so was the Sheriff’s station. Then there was the girl’s locker room and didn’t Brody catch you poking around in his stuff?”
Max just rolled his eyes but smiled at the mention of the girl’s locker room. You couldn’t get much more fun then that and it had been for a very good reason.
“You guys actually seem to have some things in common,” Liz said shooting Max a look from under lowered lashes.
“That just makes me feel so much better. Thank you for that,” Max drawled eyeing her.
“No problem,” Liz returned, her eyes sparkling with laughter as she licked her finger clean of salt. She failed to notice his eyes darken at the action, busy with swiping another fry.
His eyes traced over her face holding onto her slight smile and the amusement shining from her eyes. He wanted to hold things right here, where there was no Kivar threatening her safety, no nightmares. The ever-present fear that he’d been trying to ignore for days floated to the surface briefly before he tramped down on it focusing solely on this moment, on Liz.
Looking over at him Liz paused seeing the intensity of his gaze. “What’s wrong?”
Max shook his head briefly sending her a slight smile. “Nothing.”
“Is it Sean?” Liz asked studying his eyes. “Because I was just teasing you. You don’t have anything to worry about from him. He’s a friend that’s it,” Liz assured him, softly stroking a finger over his jaw. “I like you better.”
“Huh,” Max responded eyes warm on hers. “What do you like better?”
Liz felt her lips tilt up as the faintest flicker of his feelings reached her. “What do I like best? Is that the question?”
“I guess. Close enough anyway,” Max replied watching as she thought about that for a minute.
“I don’t know. It’s hard to pick one thing,” Liz said slowly then let her eyes drop down to his mouth. “I think the way you smell is pretty high on my list.”
“What?” Max asked blinking in surprise. He certainly hadn’t expected that answer out of all of her possible responses. He had actually expected her to continue to tease him but he could see by her expression she wasn’t teasing.
“Uh huh,” Liz nodded. “I think so. For some reason….it just,” Liz trailed off lifting her eyes to his and sending out tentative wisps of feeling, trying to show him what she couldn’t logically explain.
Max felt the gentle hesitant brush of her and held on, encouraging her to form the connection she was seeking, wanting to feel at least a little of her. He was startled by what he got.
Her breathing slowed, evening out, as she felt Max allow her to float along his surface. Her pupils expanded, looking deep into his eyes focusing on his question to her that had sparked this whole thing. Wanting to give him the answer that words just wouldn’t.
~ Tears slipped down her cheeks and dripped off of her chin. “He has your ears,” Was all she was able to say before completely loosing her composure.
Max pulled her close tucking her head into his neck and hugging her tight. “It’s okay. We’ll find him. I promise.”
Liz wrapped her arms around his waist as she tried to get back to a functional state. Despite the location and timing the familiar scent of Max was comforting and allowed her to steady herself. “Max, you have to let me…do this the only way I know how. I don’t know…how to..handle this any other way. I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean anything by it I just..I need to move. I have to keep moving.”
~ Liz moaned and twisted around in the confined space of the Jeep. Clutching the lapels of his leather jacket she snuggled closer mouth moving avidly under his.
As the windows fogged over she sought out the heat of his body burrowing closer, feeling her desire spike as she breathed him in with every panting breath. All thoughts of the movie they were supposed to go and see faded. There was no where else she wanted to be.
~ Marveling over every movement Noah made she gently ran her finger over his lips watching them pucker seeking milk. Smiling as Noah kicked his feet, fist angrily waving when no milk was forthcoming she was totally enraptured with everything he did, just happy he was alive, healthy, and here.
Feeling the bed shift Liz looked over to see Max carefully sitting down looking tired but just as amazed as she felt.
“Isn’t he perfect?” Liz whispered awe lacing her voice.
“He’s just as perfect as you said he would be,” Max agreed his chest tight with emotion. Looking from Noah over to Liz those feelings swelled showing vividly in his eyes.
“I can’t believe he’s ours,” Liz said softly looking back down at the wiggling bundle on the bed next to her.
“It’s hard to deny he’s ours with those ears and all that hair,” Max said moving closer the pride in his tone present despite his teasing words. “Have you slept at all?”
“Umm a little,” Liz lied. “I’m still a little….wired I guess.”
“You need to rest Liz,” Max worried not fooled by her answer. Stretching out on his side he propped his head up with his hand and reached over Liz to close a snap on the baby’s clothes.
“He’s got a very nice glowing handprint,” Liz said looking back at Max. Taking a deep breath she relaxed feeling something settle inside her as his warm scent enveloped her, reminding her of all they had been through today, of his steady presence through the fear and pain. “Max, thank you. For everything you did today. For our son.”
Max’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “I should be thanking you, Liz. He’s beautiful just like you are, strong like you. If he wasn’t he wouldn’t be here. You don’t have to thank me. I told you whenever you call me I’ll come.”
Liz sent him a shaky smile exhaustion weighing on her, making her limbs feel heavier then normal and her eyes felt gritty. “Will you stay? Here? Just until…”
“Of course I will. I’m not going anywhere,” Max interrupted when she hesitated.
She fell asleep knowing that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her or Noah. Even in sleep she knew he was still there by the familiar scent of his body that overrode the generic scent of the hotel room, reminding her of home.
Liz blinked, breaking their connection and letting the outside world seep back into her awareness. Seeing the stunned look on his face she smiled.
“You smell nice,” Liz said mildly then turned back to her salad.
Max just sat there unmoving, to shocked to say anything at all.
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Eighteen
While Max watched Liz move around the café in a routine he remembered from years of previous observation, the shock of that brief connection gradually faded allowing him to think.
Watching her smile as she delivered the check to a table of collage age guys he took a sip of his soda thinking it was amazing that she had so many different smiles. Looking at the one she wearing now he could tell that they were trying to be funny and impress her and she was humoring them. He had seen this same scenario more times then he could remember and had even been through it himself once or twice. Not everyone had alien powers to impress her with though.
Frowning he realized that wasn’t right. She wasn’t impressed by his powers. Not really. Thankful for them on occasion but never so blinded by them that she didn’t see past the alien part to the person he was. Liz never had been easy to impress with smoke and mirrors.
That’s one of the things he loved about her.
It still amazed him that she had found something in him that had impressed her enough to give him the time of day. Rubbing his fingers across his forehead he thought about the three memories she had chosen to share. It was interesting that only one of them, the least detailed one, was before Tess. Only one of them was from a time that he remembered feeling like he might be a man who was worth her faith and trust.
Now he thought he was just lucky. But luck always ran out sometime didn’t it?
Liz paused feeling a stirring of unease. Looking over at Max’s table, searching for the source, she noticed his bent head and empty glass. Before she could go over to him her dad flagged her down.
“Lizzie? Honey? Phone,” Jeff called holding up the phone receiver.
Liz switched directions and took the phone from her father’s hand. “Thanks Dad,” Liz said sending him a sunny smile. Cradling the phone to her ear she turned to put her back to the café to dim the noise enough to hear. “Hello?”
“Liz! You gotta help me here,” Michael said frantically.
“What’s wrong? Is something wrong with the kids?” Liz asked feeling a jolt of fear.
Max sat up looking over to the register where Liz was talking on the phone.
“Yes,” Michael said firmly. “There is something wrong with your kids. They’re demons in children’s bodies.”
Liz’s eyebrow rose in surprise, her fear fading slightly. “What did they do?”
“Let’s see. They duct taped the dog, colored on the wall in the hallway, spilled juice all over the rug in the “no food or drink allowed” living room, Erin threw a tantrum over something and kicked me, Noah took off and when I found him two blocks down he said ET go home, and right now Erin’s got gum in her hair,” Michael listed with a black scowl darkening his face.
“Uh huh,” Liz said her eyes dancing. “So did you get the tape off?”
“LIZ!” Michael shouted into the phone frustrated.
“What? Welcome to parenthood Michael. You’d better get used to it since you’ll be having your own demon soon,” Liz remarked amused. “I thought you said you could handle it. I told you that you better be careful. Now how’d Erin get gum in her hair when they aren’t allowed to HAVE gum?”
“Clearly I didn’t know that,” Michael said aggravated. “I gave them all the gum to stop them from fighting. Javen was feeding Pepe his piece, when the dog dropped it, Javen took it back and popped it in his mouth. Then he spit it into Erin’s hair and she freaked.”
“Did you try and get it out?” Liz asked wrinkling her nose at the thought of Javen eating after the dog.
“Listen to this,” Michael said walking into the kitchen and holding out the phone. Erin was shrieking at the top of her lungs and dancing around like a Mexican jumping bean. Noah was pushing Javen who was pushing right back and they were both yelling. “Hey! Hey!” Michael shouted.
“I wanna go home!” Erin sobbed, huge crocodile tears filling her eyes.
Noah folded his arms glaring at Javen for making Erin cry. Javen stuck out his tongue to stifle a yawn. He didn’t want to go to bed. He wasn’t tired, he thought as he rubbed at his eyes.
Putting the phone back to his ear he grunted warningly as Noah crept closer to Javen. “Why didn’t you warn me? Maria can’t have one of these.”
Liz covered the phone and bent over laughing. Michael sounded scared out of his mind.
“Liz? Liz? Hello?” Michael’s voice sounded out of the receiver.
“What’s going on?” Max asked coming up behind her, a confused half smile on his face.
“Here,” Liz said shoving the phone at him, laughing too hard to continue the conversation.
“Okay?” Max said but took the phone. “Hello?”
“Max? Holy shit, Max! You gotta help me here,” Michael said forgetting his audience. “You gotta fix this. Maria’s pregnant.”
“Uh huh,” Max said looking to Liz who was trying unsuccessfully to stifle her laughter. “I sort of already know that, Michael. So what’s the problem?”
“That IS the problem! Max, what do I know about this stuff? I hatched from a pod! We skipped the baby part. What do I know about babies?” Michael demanded.
“What did I know?” Max asked countering what Michael said. “You just learn as you go. You’ll see. Maria will help you and you’ll be fine.”
“Right. I almost lost Noah twice and Erin’s a little criminal mastermind at the age of three. They don’t listen,” Michael complained covering Erin’s ears with his hands.
“Hey!” Erin protested wiggling. “Dat my Daddy? He com’in ta git me? Mommy gotta fix my hairs. Javen spit on me so I’s not da one’s in twrouble dis time.”
“Umm Michael?” Max asked, hearing Erin in the background. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Michael sighed. “I gotta go get the tape off the dog.”
“Huh?” Max asked. “What tape?”
Liz took the phone from Max and put it to her ear. “Michael? It’s past their bedtime so they’re probably really tired. Put them down in Max’s old room and we’ll pick them up after I’m through here. Just be firm and don’t give them anymore sugar or they’ll never sleep. They always get cranky when their tired so don’t freak. Pepe can sleep with them if they do as you say. Okay? Oh and read them a story only if they go right to bed and brush their teeth. I called Maria and she’s on her way to help too so you’ll be fine. Don’t forget to remove the gum from Erin’s hair before she goes to bed or it’ll be a big mess.”
“Got it,” Michael sighed, heartened that reinforcements were on their way. Maria never seemed to have these problems.
“Thank you, Michael. You really will be a wonderful dad,” Liz said sincerely.
“Whatever. Bye,” Michael hung up and looked down at Erin who was sporting a monster pout. “Let’s take a look at that hair huh?”
“You kin fix it?” Erin asked in small voice. She wasn’t a bad girl but Uncle Michael looked mad.
“Yeah, I can fix it and Javen will never spit on you again,” Michael said turning a fierce glare on Javen who ducked his head guiltily. “You two, go brush your teeth. Bedtime.”
Café finally closed, her parents upstairs for the night, she sang along with the radio softly as she swept the dining room grateful that she was almost done.
“Where do these go?” Max asked hefting a tray of clean glasses.
“Umm behind the counter under the pop machine,” Liz said looking up to smile at him.
“Kay,” Max said giving her a gentle smile in return. Covertly watching her as she finished up, he started putting away the glasses, helping her silently. He was barely aware of the music as his thoughts turned inward, glancing over at Liz every few minutes.
Gradually, Liz’s return glances registered along with the song playing. He stopped what he was doing and straightened, waiting for some sign of what she was thinking.
‘How many times
Did we give up
But we always worked things out
And all my doubts and fears
Kept me wondering
If I’d always be in love’
Liz smiled slightly thinking about how many times she’d listened to this song to bolster her when things were shaky with Max. Lenny Kravitz was one of her favorites and always good to listen to under any circumstances.
‘So many years we’ve tried
And kept our love alive
‘Cause baby it ain’t over till it’s over’
Max tilted his head and took the first step forward. No matter if she left him at some point or not he had to try and fix some of what Tess had done. She meant more to him then anything, more then the fear or any pain. He couldn’t give up, he had made promises to himself and to her and nothing was going to stand in his way this time. Not even his own fears or weakness.
Liz watched his approach with trepidation, the expression on his face…..it made butterflies take flight in her stomach. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Max said walking closer and taking the broom from her hand and setting it aside. “I just….umm I had this idea and I wanted to talk to you about it.”
“Okay?” Liz asked worry still evident in her voice. When he slipped his arms around her, gently easing her closer, she tilted her head back to see his face better.
“I’ve been thinking about what I saw, you know, yesterday…last night, whatever, and I have some questions,” Max said feeling her tense in his arms.
“What kind of questions?” Liz asked.
“I want to make this better, Liz, and I think we can. I just need to understand what we’re dealing with enough to know what to do,” Max said his fingers automatically rubbing her back in a soothing gesture.
“Okay, I’ll try and answer you’re questions if I can,” Liz agreed softly despite the sick feeling in her stomach.
Max nodded then paused. “Let’s go sit down.”
Liz slipped her hand into his and allowed him to lead her into the backroom. Sitting next to him on the couch she waited to see where he was going with all this.
Glancing over at her, he nervously rubbed his hands on his thighs, gathering his courage and preparing himself to listen and hear everything she had to say. “Okay, ummm I could show you what I thought about what happened but I don’t think that would solve anything. This isn’t about what I think, it’s about what you think,” Max started darting a glance over at her then looking away. “I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, Liz. I want you to tell me when something bothers you, especially if I’m the one doing it. How you’re feeling isn’t okay with me. I don’t want to make you feel like that, ever, so please tell me when….I love you, Liz,” Max said turning to look at her straight on. “I know we don’t have a solid answer for what happened back then and things may always be confused about that, but we can have the truth now. It’s just us now and no one’s forcing either of us to do anything. So whatever happens now is our choice. I want whatever we do from now on to be our choice, together. I don’t want you to do something because you think I want you to.”
“It was my choice to…yesterday I chose to have sex with you,” Liz pointed out. “You didn’t force me to. You would never do that.”
“I won’t leave you, Liz. Whatever soundtrack Tess left in your head, just know that I won’t leave. I don’t want anyone but you. I’m not disappointed with you, and I never compare you to anyone because there is no one that could ever compare to you, no matter what you do. Or don’t do. So don’t think that you have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable to prevent me from leaving you. I don’t think of you as anything less then my dream girl. Always. Tess took away a lot but she never took that from me. Nothing you’ve ever done has changed that,” Max said trying to respond to the things he had seen and set her mind at rest. He knew it would take work and more then a few words to fix things but saying the words couldn’t hurt. If she needed to hear them he’d say them everyday, he didn’t want to not say something that she might need to hear.
Liz blinked away tears as a feeling of resolve seeped through to her telling her a little about his state of mind. “I want to make you happy, Max. I don’t want to be like this. Part of what happened yesterday was me wanting to get over this and just…..be close to you. It’s not that I don’t want to be with you like that, I do. It’s just…..at a certain point, for whatever reason, I feel so disconnected from you. It feels like when she….and I get scared and I can’t breath. I want so much to be better, have more babies with you. I love you so much, Max,” Liz said softly, feeling a chaotic swirl of emotion that she couldn’t adequately put into words. “I don’t blame you for any of that, what Tess did. You aren’t responsible for what happened between us anymore then I was on those nights. I blame her. I just want you to be clear on that. You think that you were supposed to protect me but we could never have known what she was. There was no protection for either of us. Not from the moment she came here. I know you feel guilty but you shouldn’t. You didn’t force me. Tess took choices away from both of us, she used and twisted everything we felt about each other to force us to do what she wanted. She did that. You didn’t.”
“You didn’t either, Liz,” Max said softly brushing back a stray whisp of her hair. “Just because she couldn’t force you to do things that you would never do, like kill someone, doesn’t mean you chose what happened how it happened. It doesn’t mean she didn’t make you see, or not see, things. I know neither of us saw her, but she was there. I know there were no candles but I saw them. I also know what kind of person you are so all I take from those nights is that I know you loved me. To let me touch you I know you felt strongly because you don’t take sex lightly. None of the rest of it is what I’m looking for now,” Max said to make it clear he didn’t expect any particular position or sex act from her. He just wanted her to be herself and give as much or as little as she was comfortable with. “I just want you exactly as you are. Sometimes I’m just a little stupid about making that clear. So I need some help okay? Whenever you feel scared I want you to tell me and I’ll stop and make sure you’re with me. We’ll take baby steps. Deal?”
Liz unconsciously gnawed on her lower lip as her stomach jittered nervously. She wanted to do this but she was scared. She didn’t want to hurt him or fail him.
Max scooted closer to her and soothed his thumb over her lip, easing it from between her teeth. “If you try this I’ll try to take my own baby steps and maybe we’ll met up somewhere in the middle. We’ll help each other, okay?”
“Okay,” Liz agreed nodding.
Max let out a slow deep breath as he looked into her huge dark eyes. He could do this. He would do it or die trying. This time he wouldn’t fail. Brushing a light kiss over her forehead instead of crushing her to his chest he struggled to get back on track.
“Okay, so you said kissing is fine. What about touching?” Max asked trying to get an idea of where he would hit the wall.
“Ummm yeah, that’s fine too,” Liz said easing even closer and watching his eyes drop helplessly before darting back up to her eyes. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Uh huh,” Max nodded swallowing as he tried to hold his focus. The top snap of her uniform had come undone at some point, and for all that uniform still fit it had to work at it a little harder.
“Is it the wrapping that’s distracting you?” Liz asked trying to control her smile. “I mean, do you have a thing for silver? Or maybe a weird obsession with this uniform as a whole?”
Max groaned and rolled his eyes. “It is distracting me a little but there’s a good reason for that. You haven’t worn it for years and…..it looks good.”
Kicking off her shoes she moved closer, taking a baby step without fear. Watching his eyes as the sound of snaps giving way caused them to go wide. “Here. You can have it,” Liz said and went up on her knees, pulling open the snaps down the front and slipping the uniform off.
Max’s mouth dropped open as his breath whooshed out.
“Apron too?” Liz asked biting her lip to keep from laughing.
“Ahhh” Max stuttered.
“We are doing baby steps right?” Liz asked letting her fingers drift over his cheek. “Ready?”
“I’m not sure,” Max admitted.
“Well you better brace yourself then,” Liz warned softly, her eyes warm and dark. Once she had made this decision she was determined to throw herself into it without holding back. Free fall enough times and maybe it wouldn’t be scary anymore.
“Okay, I’m ready,” Max said softly following through on one of the promises he had made.
While Max watched Liz move around the café in a routine he remembered from years of previous observation, the shock of that brief connection gradually faded allowing him to think.
Watching her smile as she delivered the check to a table of collage age guys he took a sip of his soda thinking it was amazing that she had so many different smiles. Looking at the one she wearing now he could tell that they were trying to be funny and impress her and she was humoring them. He had seen this same scenario more times then he could remember and had even been through it himself once or twice. Not everyone had alien powers to impress her with though.
Frowning he realized that wasn’t right. She wasn’t impressed by his powers. Not really. Thankful for them on occasion but never so blinded by them that she didn’t see past the alien part to the person he was. Liz never had been easy to impress with smoke and mirrors.
That’s one of the things he loved about her.
It still amazed him that she had found something in him that had impressed her enough to give him the time of day. Rubbing his fingers across his forehead he thought about the three memories she had chosen to share. It was interesting that only one of them, the least detailed one, was before Tess. Only one of them was from a time that he remembered feeling like he might be a man who was worth her faith and trust.
Now he thought he was just lucky. But luck always ran out sometime didn’t it?
Liz paused feeling a stirring of unease. Looking over at Max’s table, searching for the source, she noticed his bent head and empty glass. Before she could go over to him her dad flagged her down.
“Lizzie? Honey? Phone,” Jeff called holding up the phone receiver.
Liz switched directions and took the phone from her father’s hand. “Thanks Dad,” Liz said sending him a sunny smile. Cradling the phone to her ear she turned to put her back to the café to dim the noise enough to hear. “Hello?”
“Liz! You gotta help me here,” Michael said frantically.
“What’s wrong? Is something wrong with the kids?” Liz asked feeling a jolt of fear.
Max sat up looking over to the register where Liz was talking on the phone.
“Yes,” Michael said firmly. “There is something wrong with your kids. They’re demons in children’s bodies.”
Liz’s eyebrow rose in surprise, her fear fading slightly. “What did they do?”
“Let’s see. They duct taped the dog, colored on the wall in the hallway, spilled juice all over the rug in the “no food or drink allowed” living room, Erin threw a tantrum over something and kicked me, Noah took off and when I found him two blocks down he said ET go home, and right now Erin’s got gum in her hair,” Michael listed with a black scowl darkening his face.
“Uh huh,” Liz said her eyes dancing. “So did you get the tape off?”
“LIZ!” Michael shouted into the phone frustrated.
“What? Welcome to parenthood Michael. You’d better get used to it since you’ll be having your own demon soon,” Liz remarked amused. “I thought you said you could handle it. I told you that you better be careful. Now how’d Erin get gum in her hair when they aren’t allowed to HAVE gum?”
“Clearly I didn’t know that,” Michael said aggravated. “I gave them all the gum to stop them from fighting. Javen was feeding Pepe his piece, when the dog dropped it, Javen took it back and popped it in his mouth. Then he spit it into Erin’s hair and she freaked.”
“Did you try and get it out?” Liz asked wrinkling her nose at the thought of Javen eating after the dog.
“Listen to this,” Michael said walking into the kitchen and holding out the phone. Erin was shrieking at the top of her lungs and dancing around like a Mexican jumping bean. Noah was pushing Javen who was pushing right back and they were both yelling. “Hey! Hey!” Michael shouted.
“I wanna go home!” Erin sobbed, huge crocodile tears filling her eyes.
Noah folded his arms glaring at Javen for making Erin cry. Javen stuck out his tongue to stifle a yawn. He didn’t want to go to bed. He wasn’t tired, he thought as he rubbed at his eyes.
Putting the phone back to his ear he grunted warningly as Noah crept closer to Javen. “Why didn’t you warn me? Maria can’t have one of these.”
Liz covered the phone and bent over laughing. Michael sounded scared out of his mind.
“Liz? Liz? Hello?” Michael’s voice sounded out of the receiver.
“What’s going on?” Max asked coming up behind her, a confused half smile on his face.
“Here,” Liz said shoving the phone at him, laughing too hard to continue the conversation.
“Okay?” Max said but took the phone. “Hello?”
“Max? Holy shit, Max! You gotta help me here,” Michael said forgetting his audience. “You gotta fix this. Maria’s pregnant.”
“Uh huh,” Max said looking to Liz who was trying unsuccessfully to stifle her laughter. “I sort of already know that, Michael. So what’s the problem?”
“That IS the problem! Max, what do I know about this stuff? I hatched from a pod! We skipped the baby part. What do I know about babies?” Michael demanded.
“What did I know?” Max asked countering what Michael said. “You just learn as you go. You’ll see. Maria will help you and you’ll be fine.”
“Right. I almost lost Noah twice and Erin’s a little criminal mastermind at the age of three. They don’t listen,” Michael complained covering Erin’s ears with his hands.
“Hey!” Erin protested wiggling. “Dat my Daddy? He com’in ta git me? Mommy gotta fix my hairs. Javen spit on me so I’s not da one’s in twrouble dis time.”
“Umm Michael?” Max asked, hearing Erin in the background. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” Michael sighed. “I gotta go get the tape off the dog.”
“Huh?” Max asked. “What tape?”
Liz took the phone from Max and put it to her ear. “Michael? It’s past their bedtime so they’re probably really tired. Put them down in Max’s old room and we’ll pick them up after I’m through here. Just be firm and don’t give them anymore sugar or they’ll never sleep. They always get cranky when their tired so don’t freak. Pepe can sleep with them if they do as you say. Okay? Oh and read them a story only if they go right to bed and brush their teeth. I called Maria and she’s on her way to help too so you’ll be fine. Don’t forget to remove the gum from Erin’s hair before she goes to bed or it’ll be a big mess.”
“Got it,” Michael sighed, heartened that reinforcements were on their way. Maria never seemed to have these problems.
“Thank you, Michael. You really will be a wonderful dad,” Liz said sincerely.
“Whatever. Bye,” Michael hung up and looked down at Erin who was sporting a monster pout. “Let’s take a look at that hair huh?”
“You kin fix it?” Erin asked in small voice. She wasn’t a bad girl but Uncle Michael looked mad.
“Yeah, I can fix it and Javen will never spit on you again,” Michael said turning a fierce glare on Javen who ducked his head guiltily. “You two, go brush your teeth. Bedtime.”
Café finally closed, her parents upstairs for the night, she sang along with the radio softly as she swept the dining room grateful that she was almost done.
“Where do these go?” Max asked hefting a tray of clean glasses.
“Umm behind the counter under the pop machine,” Liz said looking up to smile at him.
“Kay,” Max said giving her a gentle smile in return. Covertly watching her as she finished up, he started putting away the glasses, helping her silently. He was barely aware of the music as his thoughts turned inward, glancing over at Liz every few minutes.
Gradually, Liz’s return glances registered along with the song playing. He stopped what he was doing and straightened, waiting for some sign of what she was thinking.
‘How many times
Did we give up
But we always worked things out
And all my doubts and fears
Kept me wondering
If I’d always be in love’
Liz smiled slightly thinking about how many times she’d listened to this song to bolster her when things were shaky with Max. Lenny Kravitz was one of her favorites and always good to listen to under any circumstances.
‘So many years we’ve tried
And kept our love alive
‘Cause baby it ain’t over till it’s over’
Max tilted his head and took the first step forward. No matter if she left him at some point or not he had to try and fix some of what Tess had done. She meant more to him then anything, more then the fear or any pain. He couldn’t give up, he had made promises to himself and to her and nothing was going to stand in his way this time. Not even his own fears or weakness.
Liz watched his approach with trepidation, the expression on his face…..it made butterflies take flight in her stomach. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Max said walking closer and taking the broom from her hand and setting it aside. “I just….umm I had this idea and I wanted to talk to you about it.”
“Okay?” Liz asked worry still evident in her voice. When he slipped his arms around her, gently easing her closer, she tilted her head back to see his face better.
“I’ve been thinking about what I saw, you know, yesterday…last night, whatever, and I have some questions,” Max said feeling her tense in his arms.
“What kind of questions?” Liz asked.
“I want to make this better, Liz, and I think we can. I just need to understand what we’re dealing with enough to know what to do,” Max said his fingers automatically rubbing her back in a soothing gesture.
“Okay, I’ll try and answer you’re questions if I can,” Liz agreed softly despite the sick feeling in her stomach.
Max nodded then paused. “Let’s go sit down.”
Liz slipped her hand into his and allowed him to lead her into the backroom. Sitting next to him on the couch she waited to see where he was going with all this.
Glancing over at her, he nervously rubbed his hands on his thighs, gathering his courage and preparing himself to listen and hear everything she had to say. “Okay, ummm I could show you what I thought about what happened but I don’t think that would solve anything. This isn’t about what I think, it’s about what you think,” Max started darting a glance over at her then looking away. “I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, Liz. I want you to tell me when something bothers you, especially if I’m the one doing it. How you’re feeling isn’t okay with me. I don’t want to make you feel like that, ever, so please tell me when….I love you, Liz,” Max said turning to look at her straight on. “I know we don’t have a solid answer for what happened back then and things may always be confused about that, but we can have the truth now. It’s just us now and no one’s forcing either of us to do anything. So whatever happens now is our choice. I want whatever we do from now on to be our choice, together. I don’t want you to do something because you think I want you to.”
“It was my choice to…yesterday I chose to have sex with you,” Liz pointed out. “You didn’t force me to. You would never do that.”
“I won’t leave you, Liz. Whatever soundtrack Tess left in your head, just know that I won’t leave. I don’t want anyone but you. I’m not disappointed with you, and I never compare you to anyone because there is no one that could ever compare to you, no matter what you do. Or don’t do. So don’t think that you have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable to prevent me from leaving you. I don’t think of you as anything less then my dream girl. Always. Tess took away a lot but she never took that from me. Nothing you’ve ever done has changed that,” Max said trying to respond to the things he had seen and set her mind at rest. He knew it would take work and more then a few words to fix things but saying the words couldn’t hurt. If she needed to hear them he’d say them everyday, he didn’t want to not say something that she might need to hear.
Liz blinked away tears as a feeling of resolve seeped through to her telling her a little about his state of mind. “I want to make you happy, Max. I don’t want to be like this. Part of what happened yesterday was me wanting to get over this and just…..be close to you. It’s not that I don’t want to be with you like that, I do. It’s just…..at a certain point, for whatever reason, I feel so disconnected from you. It feels like when she….and I get scared and I can’t breath. I want so much to be better, have more babies with you. I love you so much, Max,” Liz said softly, feeling a chaotic swirl of emotion that she couldn’t adequately put into words. “I don’t blame you for any of that, what Tess did. You aren’t responsible for what happened between us anymore then I was on those nights. I blame her. I just want you to be clear on that. You think that you were supposed to protect me but we could never have known what she was. There was no protection for either of us. Not from the moment she came here. I know you feel guilty but you shouldn’t. You didn’t force me. Tess took choices away from both of us, she used and twisted everything we felt about each other to force us to do what she wanted. She did that. You didn’t.”
“You didn’t either, Liz,” Max said softly brushing back a stray whisp of her hair. “Just because she couldn’t force you to do things that you would never do, like kill someone, doesn’t mean you chose what happened how it happened. It doesn’t mean she didn’t make you see, or not see, things. I know neither of us saw her, but she was there. I know there were no candles but I saw them. I also know what kind of person you are so all I take from those nights is that I know you loved me. To let me touch you I know you felt strongly because you don’t take sex lightly. None of the rest of it is what I’m looking for now,” Max said to make it clear he didn’t expect any particular position or sex act from her. He just wanted her to be herself and give as much or as little as she was comfortable with. “I just want you exactly as you are. Sometimes I’m just a little stupid about making that clear. So I need some help okay? Whenever you feel scared I want you to tell me and I’ll stop and make sure you’re with me. We’ll take baby steps. Deal?”
Liz unconsciously gnawed on her lower lip as her stomach jittered nervously. She wanted to do this but she was scared. She didn’t want to hurt him or fail him.
Max scooted closer to her and soothed his thumb over her lip, easing it from between her teeth. “If you try this I’ll try to take my own baby steps and maybe we’ll met up somewhere in the middle. We’ll help each other, okay?”
“Okay,” Liz agreed nodding.
Max let out a slow deep breath as he looked into her huge dark eyes. He could do this. He would do it or die trying. This time he wouldn’t fail. Brushing a light kiss over her forehead instead of crushing her to his chest he struggled to get back on track.
“Okay, so you said kissing is fine. What about touching?” Max asked trying to get an idea of where he would hit the wall.
“Ummm yeah, that’s fine too,” Liz said easing even closer and watching his eyes drop helplessly before darting back up to her eyes. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Uh huh,” Max nodded swallowing as he tried to hold his focus. The top snap of her uniform had come undone at some point, and for all that uniform still fit it had to work at it a little harder.
“Is it the wrapping that’s distracting you?” Liz asked trying to control her smile. “I mean, do you have a thing for silver? Or maybe a weird obsession with this uniform as a whole?”
Max groaned and rolled his eyes. “It is distracting me a little but there’s a good reason for that. You haven’t worn it for years and…..it looks good.”
Kicking off her shoes she moved closer, taking a baby step without fear. Watching his eyes as the sound of snaps giving way caused them to go wide. “Here. You can have it,” Liz said and went up on her knees, pulling open the snaps down the front and slipping the uniform off.
Max’s mouth dropped open as his breath whooshed out.
“Apron too?” Liz asked biting her lip to keep from laughing.
“Ahhh” Max stuttered.
“We are doing baby steps right?” Liz asked letting her fingers drift over his cheek. “Ready?”
“I’m not sure,” Max admitted.
“Well you better brace yourself then,” Liz warned softly, her eyes warm and dark. Once she had made this decision she was determined to throw herself into it without holding back. Free fall enough times and maybe it wouldn’t be scary anymore.
“Okay, I’m ready,” Max said softly following through on one of the promises he had made.
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Nineteen
Perched on Max’s lap, most of her uniform a crumpled heap on the floor, Liz smiled as Max tugged the scrunchy from her hair sending it tumbling down over her back and around his greedy fingers.
She vaguely marveled over her lack of nerves but passed it off to being in a familiar environment, one that felt safe and secure in a way she couldn’t really define. Plus, the pressure was off since this was just a baby step, there was a stopping point out there somewhere just waiting to be decided upon. That helped too.
Rubbing a strand of her hair between his fingers slowly, enjoying its tangled silken feel, Max felt almost dazed. He didn’t think he’d ever had a fantasy as good as this and could barely wrap his mind around the fact that it wasn’t a fantasy at all. She was so beautiful his chest hurt.
Not feeling any desire to rush toward anything in particular he just soaked her in, enjoying this moment. This was a smile of hers he wanted to hold onto, shining from her face and heating her eyes in a way he hadn’t seen in so long that it felt like the first time. He stroked his thumb over the small shell of her ear as his eyes dropped down to the gleam of metal on the swell of her breast.
“This the new necklace?” Max asked softly, his fingers moving to capture the pendant, brushing against the warm vitality of her skin in the process.
“Uh huh,” Liz nodded, looking down at it. “Isn’t it beautiful? I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“It’s nice,” Max agreed his eyes moving to the way her breasts seemed to overflow from the small cups of her bra that barely covered her nipples. Dropping the pendent he feathered his fingers over the rise of one breast, watching for any sign of distress in her eyes.
The light touch left a trail of prickling heat and sped up her breathing slightly but caused no sense of alarm at all. Leaning forward a bit she let her arms creep over his shoulders, showing him with actions that it was okay to continue. Dropping her eyes to his mouth she leaned in to kiss him, keeping the kiss to a gentle exploration, allowing him to decide how much of step he wanted to take.
At the tentative brush of her tongue he relaxed, unconsciously lowering his guard, feeling a delicate sense of peace flow over him. Knowing that this wasn’t the time or place for much more then an expanded cuddling session had him leaving her few remaining garments in place, working around them like he used to in their sophomore year of high school. Of course he didn’t ever remembering picturing her quite like this. Straddling his lap wearing only the tinniest bra he could imagine, panties, and her shiny apron, oh and her antenna sitting askew and barely managing not to slide right off.
Feeling the sudden increase in his arousal, and getting a very vivid picture on the reason for it, she eased away smiling.
“You do have a fetish for this uniform,” Liz accused in teasing tone.
“I just want to thank whoever designed these uniforms,” Max said his eyes drifting over her. “The apron is….nice. Can you keep it?”
Liz rolled her eyes but continued to smile, not at all uncomfortable with his half-teasing remarks. She just knew what he was thinking and it caused a glow of pleasure in her belly to know what this had done for him, seeing her like this and being able to touch her, just be with her. That was the whole purpose of this really, to show him that she did trust him in this way, that she wanted him too. It felt unrehearsed and just real, natural. “I don’t think bringing it home is good idea. I don’t want to try to explain that to my father. Do you?”
“No. No, that would be one conversation I never want to have with your father,” Max agreed quickly.
“Then you probably shouldn’t thank him for his taste in uniforms either,” Liz said biting her lip to keep from laughing.
Max had a brief vision of how that would go down, ending with her father grinding him up and grilling him instead of hamburger patties. Mmmm, tastes like chicken.
“You don’t taste at all like chicken,” Liz refuted laughing at his silent musings.
Max grinned and tapped her on the nose. “Maybe I’m more like a turkey.”
Eyes twinkling, Liz leaned forward and nuzzled his neck lightly before taking a quick taste, licking his skin in slow sweep of her tongue. “Nope, nothing like turkey either.”
Max sucked in a swift breath, almost groaning on his exhale with pleasure. “Do that again.”
Liz stopped at the low husky tone that had replaced all the teasing in his voice. Searching his face showed that he was still present, not at all distant from her.
Clearly feeling her brief hesitation, he was all the more captivated when she leaned forward again. Focusing on her and her reactions, instead of the sudden clamor of his body, he stroked his hand down her hair before moving to cradle her against his shoulder, wanting her to feel safe and protected.
Pulling softly at his skin with her mouth she was encouraged by his fingers tightening in her hair. Loosing track of her original purpose, her mouth drifted up to his ear, her quick breaths brushing over the shell of his ear, the only warning of her intent before she nipped at his earlobe.
The immediate explosion of heat pushed his breathe out in a groan as the ache in his groin kicked up in response to her ministrations. Slipping his hands under the curtain of her hair to soft silky skin, he urged her closer when she tried to pull back.
Her lips stilled then slowly lifted from him, she briefly sucked at her bottom lip testing the soft tingling feeling and finding it slightly swollen and very sensitive. Shifting on his lap to get comfortable caused a responding groan to rumble through his chest and under her hand, startling her.
“Max?” Liz whispered.
“Yeah?” Max forced out, struggling to maintain control over a body that was protesting the tight leash he had it on.
“You okay?” Liz asked feeling an echo of his bodies painful throbbing.
“Very okay,” Max agreed, meaning it. When she moved to see his face he smiled brushing back the tangle of her hair.
Reassured by his expression and eyes, her face lost its tense look and she smiled back, the tip of her finger moving to trace his mouth. “Mmkay.”
Nipping at her tracing finger he watched an expression of almost innocent surprise and delight cross her face as he traced its tip with his tongue, teasing her lightly before releasing her. He felt a twinge of shame that it should surprise her that he would want to continue their play. Thinking about it quickly, he realized that she was right, he usually took it further by now or called it off completely. Bouncing his legs to throw her off balance he grinned as she squeaked softly, tumbling down to land against his chest.
“There,” Max said slipping his arms around her so she was trapped right where she was. “That’s better.”
Liz looked into his eyes and didn’t fail to notice the blend of humor and desire shining back at her. “You’re just trying to steal the apron,” Liz accused in a teasing voice as she felt his fingers playing with the apron's ties.
“Now that’s just not true. I like it on you, not me,” Max denied smiling. Warmed that she was so soft and relaxed, fitting her body to his without concern. “You really do look beautiful today. Good enough to eat.”
Liz blinked in surprise then gasp as he ducked his head, his mouth moving over her jaw placing nibbling kisses down the line of her jaw to her ear. Her gasp turned to a soft moan as his teeth scraped over her earlobe, tongue swirling over her earring gently. The pull of his mouth against the delicate skin below her ear had her squirming slightly as flames licked at her toes causing them to curl.
After a few minutes he lifted his head and looked into her dark eyes, satisfied with their heavy lidded and slightly unfocused appearance. Resting his head against the back of the couch he stroked the smooth skin of her back, letting their breathing even back out and the urgency fade back down to a manageable level.
Liz sighed in contentment and snuggled into his chest, resting there for long minutes as his fingers drifted over her back in a soothing rhythmic motion.
Finally, she couldn’t put it off any longer. Glancing at her watch she felt the need to go and get the kids, it was getting late.
“I better finish changing,” Liz said with a trace of regret.
“Kay,” Max agreed in a lazy contented tone. “I’ll just watch.”
Rolling her eyes at his response she climbed off his lap and untied the apron tossing it over his head so it covered his eyes, laughing softly as she felt a shimmer of his vexation at having to move even the small amount required to remove the apron. She didn’t wait to see if he beat back his laziness or not, crossing to her locker she opened it and started dressing.
Max scooped up her uniform and held it and her apron waiting for her to finish. The flash of her pendent catching the light as she bent to pull on her shoes only briefly distracted him from his main focus.
“That’s what you wore out in public?” Max asked as she straightened pushing back her hair all in one motion. Visions of the last movie he’d watched with Michael flashed through his mind's eye, Desperado, the part where Salma Hayek was walking down the street causing a traffic accident without even trying.
“Watch it, Max,” Liz warned her eyes narrowing slightly. If he started in on her clothes again she was going to have to hit him. There was nothing wrong with her clothes, damn it. A simple white shirt tied just under her breasts, and a wrap around skirt that fell to her ankles. What was so slutty about that?
“What? I like it,” Max said to ward off her glare. The smooth expanse of her abdomen was eye catching, leading him to wonder how the skirt stayed up since it rode so low. “Sean saw you wearing that?”
“Ohmigod,” Liz groaned rolling her eyes. He was such a…a guy sometimes. Honestly. “Half the town saw me wearing this. Right out in broad daylight like a brazen hussy. My mom said I looked cute too.”
“Yeah, cute,” Max nodded a smile curving his mouth at her obvious ire. Her back was definitely up over this outfit. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”
Tossing her antenna into her locker she blew a stray whisp of hair out of her eyes before shooting him a disbelieving, slightly accusing glare.
Picking up her discarded shoes, he carried them, and the two pieces of her uniform he was still hanging onto, over to her offering them up with a warm eager to please smile. When she took them and turned to put them inside the locker he slid his arms around her, his hands drifting over her bare belly.
“I really do like it. It looks great on you and goes with the necklace. Was that on purpose?” Max asked, showing he paid attention. The silver treads running through her black skirt echoed the silver look of the chain almost exactly, the pendent itself was currently hidden from view under her shirt.
“No, just lucky I guess,” Liz answered leaning back into his chest, accepting his silent peace offering.
Feeling a twinge of unease at her use of the word luck, he shrugged it off, holding onto his positive thoughts.
Later that night, after Liz had settled the kids in their beds for the remainder of the night, or at least as long as it took Noah to realized that he wasn’t in bed with Liz, they snuggled down in their own bed. Spooning close together under the light blanket, both of them slipping into sleep perfectly content with baby steps.
In the wee hours of the morning, long before anyone was awake, Liz’s eyes began to move under eyelids.
Spinning on her stool, Liz kicked her feet gently as she scanned the café. It wasn’t crowded and she easily spotted Max at his usual booth but stopped as she saw him sitting with Tess, their heads bent close together deep in conversation. The sick feeling that invaded her middle wasn’t unexpected, she chose to ignore it, spinning back to face the counter reaching for the soda that she knew was there.
When someone sat down beside her she knew without looking who it was.
“So Liz,” Tess said looking over and studying her closely. “Baby steps huh?”
Liz frowned but refused to answer, her fingers moving to wrap around the spoon resting on her napkin, tapping it on the counter absently.
“Is that steps toward a baby? You really do make a good breeder. Might as well make the most of it,” Tess remarked as Liz’s spoon tapped faster. “So?”
“So what?” Liz asked despite herself.
“You seem nervous. Is it me?” Tess asked in a sickly sweet tone.
“It’s not nerves. It’s boredom,” Liz responded. “You’d think by now that I’d come up with something more interesting to dream about.”
“I’m hurt, Liz,” Tess feigned, batting her eyelashes at Liz. “I so enjoy our time spent together. Glancing over at Max and a version of herself Tess rolled her eyes in disgust. “Has he at least gotten more interesting? Now that’s boring,” Tess drawled before turning back to Liz. “I must admit I never found you boring.”
“Lovely,” Liz replied shortly, wondering what would happen if she jabbed her spoon into Tess’s eye.
“So come on and share. Isn’t that what girlfriends do?” Tess asked snidely. “Share all the details?”
Liz’s nose wrinkled in disgust as she shot Tess a scathing glare. “We aren’t friends, I don’t share well, and fuck off.”
“Ahh,” Tess drawled. “Nothing TO share. Gotcha. Not that I’m surprised. I swear you have a unbeatable chastity belt there, Liz.”
“Thank you,” Liz responded trying not to let Tess get to her.
“Which would be why he went looking elsewhere,” Tess continued undaunted. “Isn’t it funny how contrary men are? They want an angel but once they get one the eye starts to stray to the whore. Weird huh? How are those kiddies? They must getting big. Put much of crimp in the sex life?”
Just as Liz was seriously contemplating using that spoon the bell above the door jingled announcing a new arrival. Liz spun toward the door confused. No one else was supposed to be here.
Looking the new guy over, something niggled at her, a sense of recognition she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She should know him. Tall, with lightish brown hair, there was nothing that stood out. Expect maybe his confident manner as he strode over to them.
Stopping directly in front of her he smiled. That’s when realization dawned. Brad. He was the normal guy she had created in a long ago dream. But…..he wasn’t…quite.
Speechless she watched him turn to Tess, his face darkening, his eyes growing cold and hard. “You aren’t welcome here.”
Tess’s face blanched of color and for once she had no response.
“Leave. Now.”
With something between astonishment and awe, Liz watched Tess slide off her stool and leave without a word, feeling the power in the dreamscape around her. Once the door to the café closed she turned back to “Brad”.
“Who are you?” Liz asked studying him closely.
“Who do you want me to be?” Was his response.
“You aren’t Brad. Brad doesn’t exist,” Liz responded with the logic that only seemed logical in dreams.
“Would you like him to? I could be Brad, or very close to him if you like,” Brad responded watching her. “Maybe not quite “normal” but you don’t really like normal that much anyway. Do you?”
Liz frowned feeling the cold fingers of dread drift down her spine. She wanted to wake up now. This dream was different and she didn’t like it.
Kivar glanced over at Max still sitting in his booth oblivious. “I don’t think you need two of him. One is more then enough.”
“One is just enough for me,” Liz whispered not quite agreeing with him.
Looking back at her, Kivar felt her unease clearly and shifted gears. Waving a hand at Max, he disappeared with a little bit of power and a lot of will, when Liz looked back at him Brad was gone, instead he was wearing a new form taken from her subconscious, someone she trusted without question. He wanted to talk to her, not make her uneasy and frighten her.
“Kyle,” Liz said in relief, her face clearing immediately.
“Can I sit?” Kyle asked pointing to Tess’s vacated seat.
“Yeah, of course,” Liz said going with the shifting changes in her dreamscape without argument.
“So tell me, what’s new?” Kyle asked. Kivar listened to her talk, watching her smile and the excitement in her eyes when she related stories about her kids. She positively glowed with love for them. He soaked in everything, her small mannerisms that where present even here, in her dreams. When she reached out and touched his arm in a casual gesture, he felt it so vividly that everything in him went quiet.
Eventually, Liz fell silent. All the chitchat she’d used to feel him out draining away. Finally, she just admitted who he was to herself, this was just a new dream meant to scare her. “What are you doing here? Why are you here?”
“I just wanted to talk. That’s all,” Kivar said then watched the wheels turn behind her eyes.
“I don’t believe that. Once, you almost destroyed my planet. You killed everyone that was important to me. You aren’t here to talk,” Liz said ignoring his appearance, searching out what was underneath all of that.
Kivar knew what she was talking about, having glimpsed her mind through Tess. “I would tear apart worlds to find you.”
Liz’s eyes widened with fear and she jerked awake as her mind forcefully rejected the dream.
“You okay?” Max asked in a sleepy murmur, feeling her distress.
“Uh huh, I’m fine,” Liz answered slowly, grasping for the fading tentacles of her dream. All she remembered clearly was that something had been different. Scary different. Everything else drifted away like smoke as dreams often do.
Max felt her snuggle closer, pulling his arm over her body and lacing her fingers through his holding him there. He obliged her by scooting closer, better aligning their bodies, rewarded when she relaxed into him. He listened to her breathing gradually even out as sleep reclaimed her, waiting until he was sure she was resting comfortably before drifting off himself.
Perched on Max’s lap, most of her uniform a crumpled heap on the floor, Liz smiled as Max tugged the scrunchy from her hair sending it tumbling down over her back and around his greedy fingers.
She vaguely marveled over her lack of nerves but passed it off to being in a familiar environment, one that felt safe and secure in a way she couldn’t really define. Plus, the pressure was off since this was just a baby step, there was a stopping point out there somewhere just waiting to be decided upon. That helped too.
Rubbing a strand of her hair between his fingers slowly, enjoying its tangled silken feel, Max felt almost dazed. He didn’t think he’d ever had a fantasy as good as this and could barely wrap his mind around the fact that it wasn’t a fantasy at all. She was so beautiful his chest hurt.
Not feeling any desire to rush toward anything in particular he just soaked her in, enjoying this moment. This was a smile of hers he wanted to hold onto, shining from her face and heating her eyes in a way he hadn’t seen in so long that it felt like the first time. He stroked his thumb over the small shell of her ear as his eyes dropped down to the gleam of metal on the swell of her breast.
“This the new necklace?” Max asked softly, his fingers moving to capture the pendant, brushing against the warm vitality of her skin in the process.
“Uh huh,” Liz nodded, looking down at it. “Isn’t it beautiful? I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“It’s nice,” Max agreed his eyes moving to the way her breasts seemed to overflow from the small cups of her bra that barely covered her nipples. Dropping the pendent he feathered his fingers over the rise of one breast, watching for any sign of distress in her eyes.
The light touch left a trail of prickling heat and sped up her breathing slightly but caused no sense of alarm at all. Leaning forward a bit she let her arms creep over his shoulders, showing him with actions that it was okay to continue. Dropping her eyes to his mouth she leaned in to kiss him, keeping the kiss to a gentle exploration, allowing him to decide how much of step he wanted to take.
At the tentative brush of her tongue he relaxed, unconsciously lowering his guard, feeling a delicate sense of peace flow over him. Knowing that this wasn’t the time or place for much more then an expanded cuddling session had him leaving her few remaining garments in place, working around them like he used to in their sophomore year of high school. Of course he didn’t ever remembering picturing her quite like this. Straddling his lap wearing only the tinniest bra he could imagine, panties, and her shiny apron, oh and her antenna sitting askew and barely managing not to slide right off.
Feeling the sudden increase in his arousal, and getting a very vivid picture on the reason for it, she eased away smiling.
“You do have a fetish for this uniform,” Liz accused in teasing tone.
“I just want to thank whoever designed these uniforms,” Max said his eyes drifting over her. “The apron is….nice. Can you keep it?”
Liz rolled her eyes but continued to smile, not at all uncomfortable with his half-teasing remarks. She just knew what he was thinking and it caused a glow of pleasure in her belly to know what this had done for him, seeing her like this and being able to touch her, just be with her. That was the whole purpose of this really, to show him that she did trust him in this way, that she wanted him too. It felt unrehearsed and just real, natural. “I don’t think bringing it home is good idea. I don’t want to try to explain that to my father. Do you?”
“No. No, that would be one conversation I never want to have with your father,” Max agreed quickly.
“Then you probably shouldn’t thank him for his taste in uniforms either,” Liz said biting her lip to keep from laughing.
Max had a brief vision of how that would go down, ending with her father grinding him up and grilling him instead of hamburger patties. Mmmm, tastes like chicken.
“You don’t taste at all like chicken,” Liz refuted laughing at his silent musings.
Max grinned and tapped her on the nose. “Maybe I’m more like a turkey.”
Eyes twinkling, Liz leaned forward and nuzzled his neck lightly before taking a quick taste, licking his skin in slow sweep of her tongue. “Nope, nothing like turkey either.”
Max sucked in a swift breath, almost groaning on his exhale with pleasure. “Do that again.”
Liz stopped at the low husky tone that had replaced all the teasing in his voice. Searching his face showed that he was still present, not at all distant from her.
Clearly feeling her brief hesitation, he was all the more captivated when she leaned forward again. Focusing on her and her reactions, instead of the sudden clamor of his body, he stroked his hand down her hair before moving to cradle her against his shoulder, wanting her to feel safe and protected.
Pulling softly at his skin with her mouth she was encouraged by his fingers tightening in her hair. Loosing track of her original purpose, her mouth drifted up to his ear, her quick breaths brushing over the shell of his ear, the only warning of her intent before she nipped at his earlobe.
The immediate explosion of heat pushed his breathe out in a groan as the ache in his groin kicked up in response to her ministrations. Slipping his hands under the curtain of her hair to soft silky skin, he urged her closer when she tried to pull back.
Her lips stilled then slowly lifted from him, she briefly sucked at her bottom lip testing the soft tingling feeling and finding it slightly swollen and very sensitive. Shifting on his lap to get comfortable caused a responding groan to rumble through his chest and under her hand, startling her.
“Max?” Liz whispered.
“Yeah?” Max forced out, struggling to maintain control over a body that was protesting the tight leash he had it on.
“You okay?” Liz asked feeling an echo of his bodies painful throbbing.
“Very okay,” Max agreed, meaning it. When she moved to see his face he smiled brushing back the tangle of her hair.
Reassured by his expression and eyes, her face lost its tense look and she smiled back, the tip of her finger moving to trace his mouth. “Mmkay.”
Nipping at her tracing finger he watched an expression of almost innocent surprise and delight cross her face as he traced its tip with his tongue, teasing her lightly before releasing her. He felt a twinge of shame that it should surprise her that he would want to continue their play. Thinking about it quickly, he realized that she was right, he usually took it further by now or called it off completely. Bouncing his legs to throw her off balance he grinned as she squeaked softly, tumbling down to land against his chest.
“There,” Max said slipping his arms around her so she was trapped right where she was. “That’s better.”
Liz looked into his eyes and didn’t fail to notice the blend of humor and desire shining back at her. “You’re just trying to steal the apron,” Liz accused in a teasing voice as she felt his fingers playing with the apron's ties.
“Now that’s just not true. I like it on you, not me,” Max denied smiling. Warmed that she was so soft and relaxed, fitting her body to his without concern. “You really do look beautiful today. Good enough to eat.”
Liz blinked in surprise then gasp as he ducked his head, his mouth moving over her jaw placing nibbling kisses down the line of her jaw to her ear. Her gasp turned to a soft moan as his teeth scraped over her earlobe, tongue swirling over her earring gently. The pull of his mouth against the delicate skin below her ear had her squirming slightly as flames licked at her toes causing them to curl.
After a few minutes he lifted his head and looked into her dark eyes, satisfied with their heavy lidded and slightly unfocused appearance. Resting his head against the back of the couch he stroked the smooth skin of her back, letting their breathing even back out and the urgency fade back down to a manageable level.
Liz sighed in contentment and snuggled into his chest, resting there for long minutes as his fingers drifted over her back in a soothing rhythmic motion.
Finally, she couldn’t put it off any longer. Glancing at her watch she felt the need to go and get the kids, it was getting late.
“I better finish changing,” Liz said with a trace of regret.
“Kay,” Max agreed in a lazy contented tone. “I’ll just watch.”
Rolling her eyes at his response she climbed off his lap and untied the apron tossing it over his head so it covered his eyes, laughing softly as she felt a shimmer of his vexation at having to move even the small amount required to remove the apron. She didn’t wait to see if he beat back his laziness or not, crossing to her locker she opened it and started dressing.
Max scooped up her uniform and held it and her apron waiting for her to finish. The flash of her pendent catching the light as she bent to pull on her shoes only briefly distracted him from his main focus.
“That’s what you wore out in public?” Max asked as she straightened pushing back her hair all in one motion. Visions of the last movie he’d watched with Michael flashed through his mind's eye, Desperado, the part where Salma Hayek was walking down the street causing a traffic accident without even trying.
“Watch it, Max,” Liz warned her eyes narrowing slightly. If he started in on her clothes again she was going to have to hit him. There was nothing wrong with her clothes, damn it. A simple white shirt tied just under her breasts, and a wrap around skirt that fell to her ankles. What was so slutty about that?
“What? I like it,” Max said to ward off her glare. The smooth expanse of her abdomen was eye catching, leading him to wonder how the skirt stayed up since it rode so low. “Sean saw you wearing that?”
“Ohmigod,” Liz groaned rolling her eyes. He was such a…a guy sometimes. Honestly. “Half the town saw me wearing this. Right out in broad daylight like a brazen hussy. My mom said I looked cute too.”
“Yeah, cute,” Max nodded a smile curving his mouth at her obvious ire. Her back was definitely up over this outfit. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”
Tossing her antenna into her locker she blew a stray whisp of hair out of her eyes before shooting him a disbelieving, slightly accusing glare.
Picking up her discarded shoes, he carried them, and the two pieces of her uniform he was still hanging onto, over to her offering them up with a warm eager to please smile. When she took them and turned to put them inside the locker he slid his arms around her, his hands drifting over her bare belly.
“I really do like it. It looks great on you and goes with the necklace. Was that on purpose?” Max asked, showing he paid attention. The silver treads running through her black skirt echoed the silver look of the chain almost exactly, the pendent itself was currently hidden from view under her shirt.
“No, just lucky I guess,” Liz answered leaning back into his chest, accepting his silent peace offering.
Feeling a twinge of unease at her use of the word luck, he shrugged it off, holding onto his positive thoughts.
Later that night, after Liz had settled the kids in their beds for the remainder of the night, or at least as long as it took Noah to realized that he wasn’t in bed with Liz, they snuggled down in their own bed. Spooning close together under the light blanket, both of them slipping into sleep perfectly content with baby steps.
In the wee hours of the morning, long before anyone was awake, Liz’s eyes began to move under eyelids.
Spinning on her stool, Liz kicked her feet gently as she scanned the café. It wasn’t crowded and she easily spotted Max at his usual booth but stopped as she saw him sitting with Tess, their heads bent close together deep in conversation. The sick feeling that invaded her middle wasn’t unexpected, she chose to ignore it, spinning back to face the counter reaching for the soda that she knew was there.
When someone sat down beside her she knew without looking who it was.
“So Liz,” Tess said looking over and studying her closely. “Baby steps huh?”
Liz frowned but refused to answer, her fingers moving to wrap around the spoon resting on her napkin, tapping it on the counter absently.
“Is that steps toward a baby? You really do make a good breeder. Might as well make the most of it,” Tess remarked as Liz’s spoon tapped faster. “So?”
“So what?” Liz asked despite herself.
“You seem nervous. Is it me?” Tess asked in a sickly sweet tone.
“It’s not nerves. It’s boredom,” Liz responded. “You’d think by now that I’d come up with something more interesting to dream about.”
“I’m hurt, Liz,” Tess feigned, batting her eyelashes at Liz. “I so enjoy our time spent together. Glancing over at Max and a version of herself Tess rolled her eyes in disgust. “Has he at least gotten more interesting? Now that’s boring,” Tess drawled before turning back to Liz. “I must admit I never found you boring.”
“Lovely,” Liz replied shortly, wondering what would happen if she jabbed her spoon into Tess’s eye.
“So come on and share. Isn’t that what girlfriends do?” Tess asked snidely. “Share all the details?”
Liz’s nose wrinkled in disgust as she shot Tess a scathing glare. “We aren’t friends, I don’t share well, and fuck off.”
“Ahh,” Tess drawled. “Nothing TO share. Gotcha. Not that I’m surprised. I swear you have a unbeatable chastity belt there, Liz.”
“Thank you,” Liz responded trying not to let Tess get to her.
“Which would be why he went looking elsewhere,” Tess continued undaunted. “Isn’t it funny how contrary men are? They want an angel but once they get one the eye starts to stray to the whore. Weird huh? How are those kiddies? They must getting big. Put much of crimp in the sex life?”
Just as Liz was seriously contemplating using that spoon the bell above the door jingled announcing a new arrival. Liz spun toward the door confused. No one else was supposed to be here.
Looking the new guy over, something niggled at her, a sense of recognition she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She should know him. Tall, with lightish brown hair, there was nothing that stood out. Expect maybe his confident manner as he strode over to them.
Stopping directly in front of her he smiled. That’s when realization dawned. Brad. He was the normal guy she had created in a long ago dream. But…..he wasn’t…quite.
Speechless she watched him turn to Tess, his face darkening, his eyes growing cold and hard. “You aren’t welcome here.”
Tess’s face blanched of color and for once she had no response.
“Leave. Now.”
With something between astonishment and awe, Liz watched Tess slide off her stool and leave without a word, feeling the power in the dreamscape around her. Once the door to the café closed she turned back to “Brad”.
“Who are you?” Liz asked studying him closely.
“Who do you want me to be?” Was his response.
“You aren’t Brad. Brad doesn’t exist,” Liz responded with the logic that only seemed logical in dreams.
“Would you like him to? I could be Brad, or very close to him if you like,” Brad responded watching her. “Maybe not quite “normal” but you don’t really like normal that much anyway. Do you?”
Liz frowned feeling the cold fingers of dread drift down her spine. She wanted to wake up now. This dream was different and she didn’t like it.
Kivar glanced over at Max still sitting in his booth oblivious. “I don’t think you need two of him. One is more then enough.”
“One is just enough for me,” Liz whispered not quite agreeing with him.
Looking back at her, Kivar felt her unease clearly and shifted gears. Waving a hand at Max, he disappeared with a little bit of power and a lot of will, when Liz looked back at him Brad was gone, instead he was wearing a new form taken from her subconscious, someone she trusted without question. He wanted to talk to her, not make her uneasy and frighten her.
“Kyle,” Liz said in relief, her face clearing immediately.
“Can I sit?” Kyle asked pointing to Tess’s vacated seat.
“Yeah, of course,” Liz said going with the shifting changes in her dreamscape without argument.
“So tell me, what’s new?” Kyle asked. Kivar listened to her talk, watching her smile and the excitement in her eyes when she related stories about her kids. She positively glowed with love for them. He soaked in everything, her small mannerisms that where present even here, in her dreams. When she reached out and touched his arm in a casual gesture, he felt it so vividly that everything in him went quiet.
Eventually, Liz fell silent. All the chitchat she’d used to feel him out draining away. Finally, she just admitted who he was to herself, this was just a new dream meant to scare her. “What are you doing here? Why are you here?”
“I just wanted to talk. That’s all,” Kivar said then watched the wheels turn behind her eyes.
“I don’t believe that. Once, you almost destroyed my planet. You killed everyone that was important to me. You aren’t here to talk,” Liz said ignoring his appearance, searching out what was underneath all of that.
Kivar knew what she was talking about, having glimpsed her mind through Tess. “I would tear apart worlds to find you.”
Liz’s eyes widened with fear and she jerked awake as her mind forcefully rejected the dream.
“You okay?” Max asked in a sleepy murmur, feeling her distress.
“Uh huh, I’m fine,” Liz answered slowly, grasping for the fading tentacles of her dream. All she remembered clearly was that something had been different. Scary different. Everything else drifted away like smoke as dreams often do.
Max felt her snuggle closer, pulling his arm over her body and lacing her fingers through his holding him there. He obliged her by scooting closer, better aligning their bodies, rewarded when she relaxed into him. He listened to her breathing gradually even out as sleep reclaimed her, waiting until he was sure she was resting comfortably before drifting off himself.