World In My Eyes (CC,M/L,Adult) Ch 54 - 08/22/06 [WIP]

[Lelea]

Title: World In My Eyes
Author: Lelea email lhopcroft@sbcglobal.net
Category: Liz
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Suing would be pointless
Rating: Adult content
Summery: This is the sequel to Truth Within The Lies and takes place more then three years later. Max and Liz are moving home with their kids just in time for Isabel’s wedding to Dane.

Here's a link to the first story Truth Within The Lies:
http://p198.ezboard.com/fthespoilerslut ... D=56.topic


Thanks to Mystasia for the fantastic banner. It's a perfect fit for the story and thanks goes out to Mary, thank you so much for helping me post it so everyone can see it.



Prologue

Liz’s ponytail bobbed in time to the music, not missing a beat as she wiped at a trail of sweat, leaving a smudge of dirt in her wake. The kids were spending the day with a lovely older lady that lived on the floor below theirs so she could get some packing done. Boxes lined the entry hall and two of the four walls in the living room. They were moving home.

Max entered the apartment and stopped in the doorway watching. He could always judge her mood by the music she was playing, this time he didn’t really need it. The way she moved was enough.

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?” Liz asked smiling as she glanced over her shoulder.

Max grinned and walked closer slipping his arm around her waist. “What do you need me to help you with?”

Dropping the books in her hands she turned and eyed him, her lips twitching slightly at the corners. “Can’t you use that Jedi mind trick and figure it out?” Liz asked amused. When Max tugged her closer she put her hands to his chest to maintain some space. “Max….I’m all gross,” Liz protested wrinkling her nose. “Besides, we have to finish packing.”

“You’re not gross,” Max refuted his eyes tracing over her face. “I don’t see that at all.”

Liz stayed still as Max’s hand slipped under the back of her shirt to rest on her lower back lightly massaging bare skin. When his lips feathered over her forehead, then her lips, she didn’t protest and allowed her lips soften under his. Still, after everything, he was the best kisser she had ever known.

Breaking away she nervously caught her bottom lip with her teeth. “I should really……get busy,” Liz muttered not looking at him.

Max stepped back watching her carefully. “Just let me change and I’ll help you.”

“Is your room almost packed?” Liz asked bending down to pick up the books she had dropped.

“Yeah,” Max nodded. “There’s not much there to pack, you know that.” Max watched her place the books inside the box still not looking at him. “How’d it go with the Professor earlier?”

“Umm he was disappointed,” Liz said carefully then smiled. “He said that he could recommend me for this government project. Can you even imagine? Me? Working for the government?”

Max smiled, relaxing at her expression. Going to sit on the couch he was pleased when she sat down next to him. “That would be something.”

“Yeah,” Liz said rolling her eyes. “I can’t see that working out really well. I have no interest in ending up as the lab rat.”

“That would be a bummer,” Max agreed mildly a half smile on his face. He loved seeing her happy and being here to talk with her about her day. He was really worried that with going back home things might change. Her father still didn’t like him and made no effort to hide it. The pressure of returning to the watchful eye of…..everyone might be a little much. She might even want to move out on her own. With the kids. Without him.

“It really would,” Liz said looking at him carefully.

“So what do you want to do?” Max asked sitting back and meeting her eyes.

“I was thinking that I might teach….eventually. Maybe,” Liz answered slowly. She knew they needed to talk. Make some choices about their lives.

“Maybe?” Max asked softly.

“Uh huh,” Liz nodded feeling nervous. “It depends on a few things. I want to work this out, Max. Us. I think we can.”

Max’s heart beat even faster as he looked into her serious eyes. “I think we can too. I want to. I love you, Liz, and more then anything I want to work this out.”

“I know,” Liz agreed a smile flitting over her face. “That’s why I think we should continue to live together. Maybe we can even share a room this time, if it works out.”

“Live in sin?” Max asked a smile in his voice.

“Uh huh,” Liz nodded her lips curving. “Aren’t we already?”

“Not really. Sharing a room is different then what we do now. Your father…..and everyone else will see it differently,” Max pointed out and watched her chin lift and fire flash through her eyes.

“I don’t care how they see it,” Liz stated stubbornly. “I care how you see it. I care about our kids and what’s best for them. I want a family, Max. I really do and I think you just might be the right guy for that job.”

Max grinned and scooted closer kissing her forehead before resting his forehead against hers. “I am that guy. I worked hard to be that guy and I won’t let you down.”

“So? Will you live in sin with me? In Roswell, with our families just down the street and a nice house with big yard and a dog?” Liz teased straddling his lap.

“I’m there,” Max said softly.

Liz smiled and kissed him softly. “I think you are. This is going to work. I know it is,” Liz said thinking that she had made the right decision. Nothing was more important then her family, not even her career. Her kids deserved to feel safe, loved. It was time to get rid of the nightmares and move forward. Maria was right. It wasn’t a matter of trusting Max. It was a matter of trusting herself. Trusting that no matter what happened she could handle it.


“She declined?” Burns asked frowning.

“Yes. Did you really expect her not to refuse? She’s not going to work for the government. She doesn’t trust them….for good reason.”

“Then we need to think of something that will make her change her mind. We need her,” Burns pointed out. “We could branch out ourselves.”

“That’s a very large expense and risky. It might not work. This is sooner then we planned on.”

“There’s no choice really. If we aren’t close we might miss the signs. We might loose her completely and that can’t be allowed,” Burns said firmly. “Tell Pascal to get on it. We have a month.”

“I’ll tell him.”


Michael bolted upright at Maria’s earsplitting screech. “What? What is it?”

“Get up! You have to tug on this,” Maria whined her lip sticking out and tears making her lashes spiky.

“No. You need a different pair of pants,” Michael said firmly. That zipper wasn’t going up. Tugging wouldn’t change that.

“I’m NOT FAT!” Maria yelled and threw her shoe at him.

“Fuck Maria! Watch the head,” Michael complained then stopped seeing her breath start to hitch. “Baby, you aren’t fat. You aren’t. Come here.”

“That’s what got me fat in the first place!” Maria accused trying to glare at him.

Michael smirked until she reached for her other shoe. “It’s my fault. You’re right. You were unconscious at the time. That must have been why my ears were ringing.”

“Finally. We agree,” Maria said and sniffed.

Michael just sighed.


Dane looked at the schedule Isabel had printed out for him and realized he was already fifteen minutes behind. Isabel was going to go berserk.

He had picked up the rings, called the table people, and mailed the deposit to the florist.

None of that would matter if he wasn’t on time to pick up Javen.

When his phone rang he took his eyes off the road long enough to locate it on the passenger seat.

“Hello?” Dane answered.

“You’s running behind ain’t ya?” Ava asked smiling.

“Tell me you saved my life,” Dane pleaded.

“I got Javen and I picked up the samples of cake,” Ava confirmed. “You’re skinny ass is safe for another…” Ava checked her schedule. “Twenty minutes. Think you can manage the rest?”

Dane breathed a sigh of relief. “I think so. Thank you, Ava. You’re a lifesaver of the finest caliber. I owe you big.”

“Nah. I’m just trying ta keep the peace. The groom shouldn’t be all beat up at his own wedding,” Ava said kindly. She liked Dane and more then that he was family. “Javen wants ta say hi.”

“Okay,” Dane said and waited.

“Hi,” Javen said clutching the phone in both of his hands. “I got a new game. Hurry up. I wanna play it.”

Dane smiled and shook his head. The kid could already kick his ass and he wasn’t quite four yet. “I’m hurrying. Chill little man, you sound just like your mom. Play with Ava till I get back okay?”

“Kay,” Javen agreed. “When’s Noah and Erin gonna be here?”

“Soon. Go look at the calendar we marked the day remember?” Dane asked smiling at his impatience. Javen asked everyday when the twins were coming back.

“Yeah,” Javen said then paused. “Don’t be late kay?”

“I won’t,” Dane assured him. “We have a new game to break in.”

[Lelea]

Chapter One

Liz sighed as she took the pins out of her hair. She was exhausted. So much had been happening since they returned to Roswell, it just never seemed to stop. Now that Isabel’s wedding was over hopefully things would slow down.

Moving had been a nightmare of lost boxes, damaged furniture, and hard work. The good thing was that with Isabel’s wedding looming so close they had been left pretty much alone by their parents. So far anyway, now that the wedding was over that wouldn’t last.

The other major distraction had come in the form of Maria. Liz smiled as she remembered Michael’s haggard desperate appearance the first time she had seen him in six months. Maria wasn’t going suffer through her pregnancy alone. That was perfectly clear to everyone.

Finishing up in the bathroom she turned out the light and stepped into the bedroom, halting just one step into the room. The sight of Max there, getting ready for bed reminded her of what she had managed to forget up until now. With all of the moving, the newness of being home, and the wedding, sinning hadn’t been an issue. They had barely seen each other and certainly hadn’t slept together much less in the same room. Not having most of their furniture and the twins anxiety of being in a new and different place had made that impossible even if she had wanted to, which was a problem in itself.

What had seemed so simple and such a good idea in Paris now seemed much more difficult and scary. Real. Unconsciously Liz started gnawing on her lower lip as reality smacked her in the face.

Max kept his movements casual feeling her blooming anxiety. He waited for her first move curious about the direction all that anxiety was going to take.

“The kids get to sleep okay?” Max asked softly.

“Yeah,” Liz answered relaxing slightly. This was familiar. Talking about the kids. “Today really wiped them out. Even Noah dropped off right away.”

Max nodded then yawned feeling tired himself. Isabel’s wedding had been planned to within an inch of its life. He had gotten up before the sun was even a foreshadow on the horizon and it was well past midnight now, but Isabel’s glowing happiness had made it all worth it.

Turning to face Liz he froze. She looked so beautiful and she could have been sixteen again with her hair a tumbled mass of shining silk, her face bare of makeup. He blinked but she was still there, the width of the bed the only thing separating them. Oh god.

Liz smiled slightly as Max’s eyes seemed to widen and something suspiciously like panic floated through their depths. Good to know this wasn’t just hard for her. Her eyebrow arched upwards as her eyes dropped lower. Nope he looked like he was having a hard time alright.

“You must be tired,” Max finally spoke dragging his eyes up to her face.

“Yeah,” Liz nodded padding across the hardwood floor on bare feet. “I am a little. You?”

“Yeah,” Max nodded jerkily. “Very tired. Exhausted really.” Max babbled as Liz climbed onto the bed. The very same bed he was supposed to sleep in. Oh shit. What if he snored and she changed her mind? Or it was totally possible that he would drool. She just looked so…he was going to fuck this up. She was going to run out of the room screaming any second now. He was such an idiot. He was ogling her and he couldn’t stop. The last three years of self-control seemed like a distant memory. He was never going to be able to sleep. The rules where changing and he didn’t have a clue what they were anymore. Rules had structured his life for the last three years giving him a framework to move within, but now that framework was gone and everything depended on just him. His whole life depended on this moment. He was going to screw it up.

Liz watched the emotions chase themselves over his face and smiled. Maybe this would be easier then she thought. “Max? Are you okay?”

“I think so,” Max nodded. No, he wasn’t okay. He was moments from tripping over his own tongue and making a very unwise decision. It couldn’t be anything else when his brain had shut down due to lack of blood flow.

Liz tucked her hair behind her ear and waited for him to move or something. Talking would be good. Instead he just stood there with his pants in his hand. “Okay. Well. We have the living together part down already right?” Liz asked trying to break through to him.

“Right,” Max nodded and breathed. “We do have that part down to a science.”

“Okay, so maybe since we’re so tired and….umm tired, we should wait on the sinning part. Just until we can remember the first part. We are good together, Max. We do the living together part really well,” Liz said softly watching him. He looked so scared she actually forgot about her own fear in the face of his.

Max took another breath and another. “I know we do. Okay, we can always sin right?” Max offered and watched Liz nod, a smile spreading across her face. “Okay. Okay, I can look your father in face tomorrow without fear of death. Okay, that’s a good thing.”

Liz stifled a giggle as she watched the tension drain out of Max as he rambled. She didn’t point to him that he should still treat her father with caution. The truth of the matter was that her father took a very dim view of the current situation and wasn’t likely to believe anything Max said. Her father had a long memory and although he was ecstatic that she was back with the kids he wasn’t thrilled with the Max part. He had even offered to buy her a house to live in with the twins…..and without Max. The last three years hadn’t changed Jeff’s view of Max when it came to her. He admitted that Max was a good father and didn’t outright attack him in conversations with her but he would never believe Max was good enough for her. Not after what had happened. It didn’t seem to matter what Max did.

“Unless you’re planning on sleeping standing up you better come to bed,” Liz teased. “We have breakfast with my parents tomorrow. I don’t think you want to groggy and half asleep around my dad.”

Max saw the wisdom in that. Hyper alertness was called for around her father. Searching for hidden weapons and conversational pitfalls took a lot of energy. He didn’t want to wake up with a kitchen knife sticking out of his chest.

Liz watched him rub his hand over his bare chest as he nodded and grinned. It wasn’t hard to imagine what he was thinking. Tomorrow was going to be a rough one for Max. Cal was staying for a few days and seemed to delight in watching Max squirm around her father. He had been known to provoke her father with interesting choices in conversational topics. She’d have to keep an eye on him.

She scooted under the light blanket and got comfortable as Max got in his side. She sighed as Max turned out the lights then curved around her back his arm resting over her hip. This was also somewhat familiar. Although they had only had sex a couple of times over the last three years it wasn’t unheard of that they slept in the same bed. Her eyes drifted closed as her body relaxed into the solid wall of his chest, their legs tangled together as Max crowded her, the steady sound of his breathing lulled her into sleep.

Max was hovering on the edge of sleep as Noah pushed the door open and scrambled into bed next to Liz. “You okay little man?”

“Da monsters know here,” Noah said softly scared and worried. He scooted closer to his Mommy and felt better when she cuddled him even closer in her sleep.

Max lifted up onto his elbow to see his son better. Noah was twisting Liz’s hair in his fingers but his dark anxious eyes met his and real fear lurked in their depths. “What monsters are we talking about?” He took Noah’s statement seriously remembering what Liz had said about Noah remembering Tess. Noah might not know what else to call a very real person. Tess had been a monster, Noah wasn’t wrong about that.

“Da scary kind,” Noah whispered. “I saw dem take Mommy.”

Max reached over and smoothed Noah’s sleep ravaged hair down. “You don’t have to worry about that, Noah. I’ll be right here holding on to her. I won’t let anyone take her okay?”

Noah thought about that for minute then nodded slowly. He didn’t know how to make his dad understand that the monsters held on pretty tightly too. They never seemed to sleep. Never seemed to stop watching. His dad was strong but he did sleep. Maybe they would sneak in and take his Mommy then. Tears pooled in his eyes and his fingers held on tightly to the long strands of hair clutched in his fingers. If they did they would have to take him too. He wasn’t letting go this time. He wasn’t little like the girl baby sleeping in his Aunt Maria. He never slept that deeply anymore. He was too scared of what the monsters might do while he was sleeping. He never wanted to wake up without a Mommy again.

Max lay back down after Noah nodded but was unable to fall asleep. He anchored Liz to him and rested his hand on Noah’s back to remind him that he was safe. A little while later Erin crept in and he made room for her too. Eventually he did sleep but his dreams were troubled and shadowed by worries that his mind let out of their cage to stalk him when he unaware and at his weakest. All his mistakes paraded behind his closed eyelids in Technicolor images.

Liz woke up early and found herself buried half under Max and Noah with Erin blinking at her from over Noah’s shoulder. “Morning. How’s my flower today?”

Erin smiled and giggled like she always did when her mom called her that. “Sleepy. Noah and Daddy hog the bed.”

“They certainly do,” Liz agreed wiggling out from under them. “It’s still early. Do you want to go back to your bed and sleep a little more?”

Erin nodded then paused. “Can I sleep wit Noah? He don’t yike it by his self.”

Liz nodded and smiled as she scooped Noah up in her arms. “Of course you can. Just don’t braid his hair again. Its not nice to do things to people when they’re helpless.”

“But I askeded him and he said no,” Erin pouted.

“Then you need to convince him that it would be fun not wait for him to fall asleep. That’s not fair sweety,” Liz pointed out as she carried Noah down the hall to his new room.

Erin stopped skipping after her for second then followed. “Kay, I pwomise. I got Javen now. He lets me do what I want to,” Erin said picturing Javen’s almost black hair. It was very pretty.

Liz smothered a smile as she lay Noah down waiting for Erin to scramble up into the bed before covering them both up. Sometimes Erin reminded her so much of Maria it was scary. “I’ll come and wake you up for breakfast with Nana and Grampa okay?”

Erin yawned and nodded. “Kay.”

Liz eased out of the room and closed the door part way to block out the sound of the shower she was planning on taking. When she entered her room though the bed just looked so inviting and warm. It didn’t hurt that Max was still asleep looking just as inviting as the bed. A lock of hair had drifted over his forehead and his jaw had darkened with the growth of his whiskers. Liz settled back into bed with a sigh and smiled when one of Max’s eyes opened lazily.

“You’re not supposed to sneak off. I promised Noah I’d keep an eye on you,” Max grumbled slinging his arm over her.

“Then you’re a pretty poor bodyguard,” Liz said through soft curving lips. “You were dead to the world.”

“Not true. I knew when you left,” Max refuted smiling. “I was just….”

“Being lazy like most men are,” Liz teased. “And continuing to hog the bed.”

“I’ll share,” Max replied feeling content and happy. “With the right incentive.”

Liz’s eyebrow arched and she gave him a shove, satisfied when his eyes popped open. “This is MY bed buddy. You didn’t want to bring yours so I’m the one who’s sharing with you, you greedy alien. Maybe I need the incentive.”

“Okay,” Max mumbled nuzzling her neck, smiling when she squirmed against him.

Liz soon forgot who was giving the incentive to whom. The gentle rasp of his whiskers over the skin of her neck combined with the warm wetness of his tongue perfectly. If this was sin she was all for it.

Max latched onto the petal soft skin under his mouth enjoying her soft broken moan. He didn’t feel any reservations on her end of the connection so he relaxed into his favorite pastime of necking with Liz. The last month they had spent in Paris had reminded him how truly wonderful this was.

What he failed to think about was that normally they weren’t in bed at the time and had gone into it with the understanding that baby steps forward were the rule. The realization of last night and the change of those rules had never been farther from his mind then at that moment.

Liz combed her fingers through the hair by his ears and brought his mouth to hers. The connection flared brightly between them for a moment as Liz moved closer nibbling at his mouth as she lay half over him. His hand slipping beneath her tank top was a welcome warmth on her back her senses spun wildly as his other hand guided her over him.

So focused on Liz he missed the first twinges of unease, so buried by physical sensation that nothing else registered. It was when she sat up over him that he really felt it. He pushed it deep inside as Liz looked down at him her eyes so warm and right. They were deep rich brown just as they should be, this was their home that they had fought so long to have, it wasn’t a mistake. He wasn’t going to let old memories, old mistakes, screw this up. It wasn’t the first time they had been together and nothing had ever happened before this.

When Liz leaned forward and kissed him she was caught off guard by the strength of the flash she received. She jumped off of him like a scalded cat and was locked in the bathroom before he could move. The sound of the first of her sobs was drowned out by the sound of the shower being turned on.

Max sat on the side of the bed his head resting in his hands. He had screwed up just like he had been afraid he would. Just not in the way he had thought he would. He knew what she was thinking but she was wrong. He hadn’t been thinking of Tess. Not at all. It was just his dreams…..nightmares, of the night before were so close to the surface. They hadn’t yet faded into nothing and he hadn’t felt them rise to the surface quickly enough to prevent her from seeing a glimpse of them. She was always so much better at receiving things from him then he was at shutting her out.

Liz ignored the soft tapping at the bathroom door. She wasn’t ready to look at him. She wiped at her eyes and dipped her head back under the spray of water soaking her hair thoroughly. She ruthlessly choked off her sobs and concentrated on washing her hair.

It was Noah’s voice calling to her through their connection that broke through her single-minded task. She shut off the water and only took the time to throw on her robe before she raced out of the bathroom almost knocking Max off of his feet.

She reached his room and shoved the door open catching Noah as he flew into her arms. “Baby, what is it?” Liz asked terror causing her heart to hammer hard in her chest.

Noah’s breath hitched, his shuddering slowing, as he was cradled close. He didn’t mind getting all wet. He was too happy to be where he was to care. His fingers latched onto the wet strands of his mother’s hair seeking comfort from his dreams. “I seen bad things. Da monsters are coming,” Noah whispered. When he had woken up rigid in terror, then felt his Mommy’s pain, he had been so scared. Scared that the monsters were already here had snuck in and hurt her, that he had reached for her calling out forcefully.

Liz looked over into Erin’s wide frightened eyes and carried Noah over to the bed easing down to sit with Noah on her lap. “It’s okay to tell me about them. I know the monsters are scary but if you talk about it, it’ll be better,” Liz soothed. She was trying to get Noah to talk about what he saw so she could puzzle out whether they were dreams or memories or something completely different. The trouble was that the more upset Noah was the less he could explain clearly. She could feel Max standing in the doorway but didn’t look at him. She couldn’t hold her emotions in check if she did and then Noah would get even more upset.

“Da weally bad one’s watching. He thinks he might come here in da sky,” Noah said stumbling. His brow wrinkled as he tried to think. “He thinks you pretty Mommy,” Noah said and his breath hitched in fear.

Liz frowned slightly then forced it away, rubbing Noah’s back soothingly. “It’s okay Baby. I’ll be okay, you can tell me.”

“Da ov’rones are making something to keep him away but peoples will get sick. Aunt Maria will get sick from what they’s making,” Noah wailed upset and starting to cry.

Liz stopped asking questions and just crooned to him rubbing his back and cuddling him. She felt Max leave and heard him on the phone canceling breakfast. She moved to curl up on the bed cuddling both of her children as close as possible.

[Lelea]

Chapter Two

“So, do you think they’re dreams?” Maria asked after listening to Liz describe the reason for their visit. Noah had needed to see that Maria wasn’t sick and that everything was fine so finally Liz had brought them over to see Maria in person.

“No, I don’t,” Liz said softly.

Maria nodded and popped the last potato chip in her mouth. “Got it. Noah just knows stuff.”

“Yeah, he does,” Liz agreed then sighed. “I just wish I knew stuff.”

“Have you tired the connecting thing?” Maria asked knowing she probably had but wanting to hear what had happened.

“Yeah, but when he’s upset it’s like he’s closed off. Max can’t get in and I can only get in so far. His panic overrides everything so I’m trying to get him to talk about it more but…..I hate to force him. He’s gets so upset and…..it’s just hard. Max will ask Isabel to dreamwalk him when she gets back from her honeymoon,” Liz replied absently, her eyes searching out the twins. Noah was playing in the sandbox, intently building a city of sand, but every few seconds he looked up just to make sure she was still where he had left her. Erin was helping, knowing without asking what to do.

“Okay, sounds like a plan,” Maria agreed mildly.

“A really shitty plan,” Liz grumbled under her breath.

“Okay someone’s a might testy,” Maria observed a smile tilting her mouth. “Problem girlfriend?”

“Haven’t you been listening? Yes. There’s a problem,” Liz answered raising her eyebrow at Maria. “And like so many problems lately I have no idea what to do.”

“Sounds like you know to me,” Maria disagreed. “Talk to Noah and try to get him calm enough to verbalize what he sees, have Isabel dreamwalk him, keep our eyes open,” Maria shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”

Liz sighed and rested her chin on her hand.

“Now tell me what you haven’t told me yet,” Maria said eyeing Liz carefully.

“Which would be?” Liz asked looking away from Erin to focus on Maria.

“What did Max do?” Maria asked and smiled when Liz’s eyes narrowed.

“He called you,” Liz stated flatly.

“Who else is the boy gonna call?” Maria asked smiling.

“What did he say?” Liz asked her eyes slipping back to the sandbox.

“Nothing really. He just wanted me to know you were coming and that you were upset…..about something,” Maria said watching Liz carefully. “Wanna share?”

“Not really,” Liz replied a slight frown drawing her eyebrows together until Noah looked up and met her eyes. Smoothing her expression she smiled and waved slightly waiting until he went back to playing before she continued. “We just….it’s just being back home. Things will work out.”

“I’ve been hearing that for three years now,” Maria pointed out. “First, it was getting used to being parents, then it was school, then it was being in Paris and so far from everyone, now it’s being back home. Talk to me, Liz.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” Liz said softly. “I thought I had worked everything out and then….Ummm it’s just not that simple.”

“So tell me about today,” Maria suggested as a starting point.

“We kissed and I got a flash,” Liz replied wincing at the memory.

“Tess?” Maria asked.

“Among other things, yes,” Liz said meeting Maria’s eyes.

“And you ran,” Maria guessed.

“I really wasn’t in the mood after that,” Liz confirmed lightly trying not to get upset.

“Did you listen to what Max had to say about it?” Maria asked.

“Every word,” Liz nodded.

“Did you believe him?” Maria asked curious.

“Not a word,” Liz said shaking her head.

“What did he say?” Maria asked.

“That it was nothing to worry about, he wasn’t still thinking about Tess, and Giverny was just a unattractive stalker,” Liz recited the condensed version.

“Giverny?” Maria asked puzzled.

“She was a model who lived on the first floor of our building in Paris,” Liz explained.

“Oh. Okay,” Maria replied then just lifted her eyebrow at Liz asking her to continue.

“Yeah,” Liz nodded. “So you see Max is shading the truth just a tad but that isn’t the problem. It’s just that there’s this presence between us. This……THING that’s just there and neither of us seem to be able to make it go away. That thing is what he dreams about. Sometimes it’s Tess, sometimes it’s Giverny, and sometimes it’s me. But that isn’t what it really is, that’s just the form it takes or the skin it puts on for that one dream. Personally, I think that’s something to worry about.”

Maria listened to that and picked out the part Liz didn’t realize she had included. “So sometimes he dreams about you? In what way?”

Liz’s eyes flickered away before returning to somewhere in the vicinity of Maria. “Yes, he dreams about me. That I’m dying or he’s the one cutting on me. Sometimes I leave him. It depends,” Liz shrugged uncomfortable.

“Liz. Let me voice something that you seem willfully blind about,” Maria said slowly. She and Isabel had discussed this more then once and how amazing it was that Liz could be so smart about so much and just blind to the simple truths. “You own Max. There’s no other way to put it really.”

Liz blinked and focused on Maria completely surprised. “What? Maria, what are you talking about? I do not! How can you say that?”

“I can say it because it’s true. That boy stepped off that bus in the third grade and from that moment on you’ve owned him. It’s a simple truth that you seem to want to avoid but it is true. You get shot he heals you, you want to stay in LA he stays, you want to move to Paris he moves, you want to come home he comes home,” Maria made her case watching Liz’s face. “Everyone knows how it is but you.”

“I didn’t make him do any of those things,” Liz protested. “I talked to him about every major choice we’ve made.”

“I’m not saying you bitch slapped him into agreement. You don’t have to. That’s the point. He’s so afraid of loosing you after all that stuff with Tess happened that he’d do anything you wanted him to do,” Maria countered softly. “I’m just afraid that if he thinks there’s no chance or that you couldn’t possibly choose him, he’ll make some really bad choices and blow it. You’re so blind when it comes to this situation that you aren’t seeing clearly. It’s been three years and he’s played by the rules you set all that time. Soon he might get discouraged.”

“I know,” Liz admitted. “I’m trying. I really am. I thought I was ready. I want to be.”

“I know you do,” Maria said watching a miserable expression cross Liz's face. “I know it’s hard and I know you love him in spite of all the garbage. I also know that just because you love someone it doesn’t mean everything is magically okay. I just want you to be happy. You deserve it so that’s why I’m going to remind you of something you already know and it took me forever to figure out. Know your opponent. In this case Max.”

Liz smiled at Maria’s excited tone and phrasing.

“If you don’t know him you can’t predict the choices he’ll make and only offer the ones you like the outcome for,” Maria said warming up to her lecture.

Liz started laughing unable to listen with a straight face. “Is this your war plan for Michael? Only present him with choices where you like the outcome?”

“Well. Yes, actually,” Maria said grinning.

Liz rolled her eyes smiling. “I’m not trying to control Max. That’s not what I want. I can’t direct his every move and watch everything he does. I don’t even have to. I know he wants to work this out. I believe that. So I have faith that he’ll make the right choices,” Liz said then stopped, gnawing at her bottom lip as anxiety bloomed inside her. “He’s worked really hard the last three years and he’s kept every promise he’s made to me. He’s had time to do his own thing on those trips to look into the Skins. I’ve given him space and time to be sure of what he wants.”

Maria watched her, seeing her anxiety clearly, and was amazed. “You do know he loves you right?”

Liz stopped, feeling her chest tighten and choke off her breath. “I know. Mentally I know that, I see it but……”

Maria watched her force out her words and struggle for breath.

“I don’t feel it,” Liz admitted softly. “I tell myself that and Max tells me but why can’t I feel it? Is it me? Am I just not able to get over this enough to feel what’s there?”


Noah felt an echo in his chest, a squeezing sensation, and knew his Mommy was upset. He raced toward her, his sneakered feet trampling his city in his rush. Even though it wasn’t the monsters he didn’t like feeling his Mommy cry inside.


Feeling Noah get closer Liz pushed all of her upsetting thoughts into the darkest corner of her mind and turned to catch his small body. Hugging him close she rubbing his back softly. “It’s okay Noah. Everything’s going to be fine. I promise.”

Maria watched and saw the glimmer of tears in Liz’s eyes as she tried to make everything better for Noah. Who was going to do that for her? Sometimes it was easy to forget that Liz was barely twenty years old. She was actually the youngest of all of them but it was easy to forget that most of the time. Seeing this reminded her of that and other things.

Ever since the twins Liz had done everything possible to make a good safe home for her children. The twins always had people around them who loved them and would protect them when Liz couldn’t be there. Max might stay away for days at a time but Liz was never away overnight. She had quickly learned that Noah had a special bond to her and tried to provide what he needed.

Maria remembered the hundreds of childcare books Liz had read and the sessions spent with Cal trying to learn everything she could learn, in case one of the twins needed more then the standard child would. Now Maria realized that monitoring her feelings so much, knowing that Noah would feel the slightest upset and wanting to prevent that, was making things incredibly hard on Liz. How could she really work through anything if she couldn’t allow herself to feel it?

Suddenly she realized that SHE was soon going to have her own child. Her own child that would have special needs of its own, pressing a hand to her abdomen, she rubbed the barely there swell of her child. That was a scary thought.


Pulling into her driveway Liz turned off the car and looked in the back, smiling when she saw both kids sound asleep. Turning her head, sensing movement, Liz watched the front door open and Max start down to the car.

“Hey,” Liz said getting out and quietly shutting the door behind her.

“I umm thought you might need some help,” Max said to explain his sudden appearance. Make it seem like he hadn’t been watching for her, wondering if she was coming home after earlier.

“Thanks,” Liz said softly. “They’re both out like a light. After Maria’s I took them by my parent’s to buy some time there. My dad bought them both bikes.”

Max smiled at her eye roll. “That’s what grandparents do right? Spoil their grandchildren.”

“Apparently,” Liz agreed smiling. “So now they have Big Wheels and bikes.”

“I’ll make room in the garage,” Max said, carefully lifting Noah out of his car seat.

Liz took Erin and followed Max into the house. After putting the kids to bed they stood awkwardly in the living room neither quite sure what to say.

“Liz…I just want to explain what you saw this morning and…,” Max finally spoke.

Liz waved him silent and walked closer. “You did that already. Max? You don’t do things you don’t want to just to….keep the peace do you?”

Max’s brow wrinkled at the sudden shift in the conversation. “No, why?”

“You do want to live here right? In Roswell? We could move if you don’t,” Liz said avoiding his question.

“Liz, where is this coming from? We talked about this and agreed,” Max asked confused. Did she want to move already? He hated to think about re packing all those boxes but if she wasn’t happy here….

“You’re right. We did agree,” Liz said and sank down onto the couch feeling at a loss suddenly. She was so tired. Tired of being here, in this careful place. Was he just doing what he thought she wanted him to?

Max sat down next to her and studied her, trying to read a queue that would tell him what was going on.

“Max?” Liz asked turning to look at him.

“Yeah?” Max asked wondering what new direction this conversation was about to take and whether he would like it.

“When you look at me, what do you feel?” Liz asked hoping to feel something from his words. Something not careful, anything would be better then nothing.

Max thought about that and wondered how to express everything in a way that would make sense. “I feel destiny. My destiny. Liz……I know things are difficult right now and I’m not making that easier really…..but this is where I’m supposed to be. I feel it everyday. Not because of the kids but because this is where you are. It’s not the place or the kids or anything but you. So please just give me a chance to get better. I want to be here, with you.”

Liz studied him for a long moment in silence before speaking. “Max, I’m not leaving. Stop thinking that I’ll change my mind. You should know I’m stubborn and I made my choice a long time ago. I meant what I said about wanting a real family. I was hoping that by doing this….living together and not being just roommates, that we’d get comfortable with that idea. That our families would get used to it eventually, and things could go from there. I don’t want to screw this up any more then you do.”

Max nodded slowly feeling relieved. She was staying. He hadn’t totally fucked up yet.

Gathering her courage she leaned forward and kissed him. She didn’t protect herself in anticipation of hurt, she just kissed him.

Max combed the fingers of one hand through her hair, softly holding her to him. It felt like Liz was pouring into him like water does a cup, and he felt it so strongly, filling all those places inside him that missed her without him even knowing. It felt right.

Liz blinked as she pulled back and smiled softly. It was nice. No flashes, no worries just a warm feeling. Her breath slowly flowed out of her as she relaxed further seeing wonder in his eyes. That was much better then nothing.

[Lelea]

Chapter Three

After unpacking a few boxes and generally just puttering around to wind down from the day and let her mind wander over the accumulating list of problems that never seemed to have an satisfying answer, Liz finally started getting ready for bed. Walking back into the bedroom she found Max already in bed clearly waiting for her.

As she padded across the floor she noticed for the first time in a long time how he watched her. She crawled in her side of the bed and watched his mouth quirk up into a smile.

“What?” Liz asked suspiciously.

“Nothing,” Max said giving her an innocent look.

“Uh huh,” Liz grumbled having the feeling that he was laughing at her silently.

Max hid his grin thinking she looked almost like Erin crawling into a grown ups bed. The oversized T-shirt dwarfed her small frame reminding him of how small she really was. When she scooted down and got comfortable he turned out the light and lay back down himself. Silence reigned for long minutes, only the sound of their breathing audible in the stillness of the room.


“Max?” Liz said softly.

“Yeah?” Max replied surprised that she wanted to talk at all.

“Are you tired?” Liz asked rolling onto her side to see his profile in the darkness. Somehow it was easier to talk to him when she couldn’t really see him clearly.

“Not really. Why? Is something wrong?” Max asked.

“Yes,” Liz replied thoughtfully. “Don’t you think something is wrong?”

Max opened his mouth then shut it not sure how to answer that. “I’m not sure…..I guess….Umm what do you think is wrong?”

Liz sighed at his response and decided enough was enough. “I want to talk to you, Max. Really talk, okay?”

“Umm okay?” Max half asked. He shifted around and put his hand behind his head, getting ready for whatever she had to say.

“Okay. About those flashes,” Liz started then took a deep breath reminding herself not to get upset. Noah was asleep but that wasn’t a guarantee. “I wasn’t upset because….of what I saw exactly. It was more what I felt.”

Max winced and resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably. “I don’t think about Tess like that. I do think of her because Noah still….but not like….and Giverny was just that one thing that you saw and…,” Max shut up then, realizing he wasn’t helping himself.

“Max. I know,” Liz said her brow wrinkling slightly. “I believe you. I’ve told you this before but maybe you didn’t listen or….whatever,” Liz said absently picking at the sheet with her fingers. “There’s no debt you need to repay to me. I forgave you a long time ago for Tess and have no interest in punishing you for anything. I didn’t ever really want that……Okay maybe that’s lie,” Liz said pausing as her innate honesty kicked in. “At first I did, but that urge passed quickly. It just hurt too much. Hurting you, hurts me too so that is something that just has to stop. You need to realize we’re even. There’s nothing more to be said about that. It’s over and in the past. These flashes…..ummm they startled me and…..”

Max broke in when Liz stumbled to a halt. “Liz, you don’t have to have sex with me to be with me. I can understand how seeing that stuff would upset you. I made some unforgivable mistakes.”

“Max, I did forgive you,” Liz said again, trying to explain something that she didn’t fully understand. “I can’t say I’m not cautious, or that I don’t remember what happened, because I do but every time I look at you I don’t see that guy. I see the effort you’ve put in and I appreciate it. What did I say about Giverny when I walked up?”

Max thought back to one of the scariest moments of the last three years. He had gone to pick up their mail since Liz was expecting a letter from Kyle and he had forgotten to stop on his way in and check. Giverny had been leaving for an appointment and had stopped to talk. There must have been some misunderstanding due to language or....something, because suddenly she was kissing him. He remembered freezing, then hearing feet on the stairs, and then seeing Liz holding the key to the their mailbox in her hand. “You just said I forgot the key and tossed it to me.”

“Uh huh,” Liz nodded. “Then what?”

“You winked at me and ran back up the stairs,” Max said feeling a little unsettled just remembering that incident.

“Okay, so why are you torturing yourself about it? I knew then that nothing was going on or I wouldn’t have winked. Seriously Max. We do have a connection, I can tell the difference between lust and horror,” Liz said smiling slightly in remembrance. He had looked ready to shit himself that day. She had actually felt sorry for him and had talked to him about it at the time.

“I know,” Max said and squirmed. “It’s not that I think you believe I had a thing going on with that…..person. I don’t know why I’m dreaming those things. I try so hard to not be that person, to not make those mistakes ever again. I know you’re still afraid. I feel it and I know saying it doesn’t prove I’ve changed or that anything’s different now. I’m trying to show you by keeping my word and being here when you need me.”

“I do believe that things are different now. I know I can count on you to keep your promises, you don’t have anything to prove. I believe you,” Liz said simply. “I don’t know why I’m so afraid. I don’t know why things are so hard for us still. What I do know is that I love you and I can believe what you tell me, barring a little shading of the truth on occasion. I don’t check up on you or even think I have anything to worry about that way. There’s no need for you to feel guilty. The past is the past and we agreed to move forward.”

“I know we did,” Max said. What he didn’t say was that he still held himself responsible for everything that had happened back then. She had almost died and her whole life had changed due to some of the worst decisions he had ever made. He didn’t trust himself. He should have seen what was going on, he should have seen a lot of things but he hadn’t. Because of that, Liz had been terrorized and abused by one of his kind. It didn’t seem right that he was still getting what he had always wanted. Liz and a family. He kept waiting to screw it all up, have Liz look at him like she had that day at the quarry when she had first seen what he had become, the things that he had done. How could he ever make up for all of that? Every time he thought he had, he did something else that was just stupid.

“Max, you’re a good person. You’re a great father, the kids love you so much. You’re a great friend, even Kyle says so when he’s drunk,” Liz said her fingers reaching out to smooth away the frown she knew he was wearing. “You’re the only one who doesn’t believe that. I don’t expect perfect, I never did. I’m not perfect and this isn’t all your fault. This relationship is both of ours, and I know that a lot of the reason we’re where we are is because of me. I think there’s something wrong with me. You could want to leave me too, you know.”

Max’s scowl deepened and he propped himself up on his elbow turning to face her. “No, I couldn’t. There’s nothing wrong with you, Liz. There isn’t. You put a lot of pressure on yourself in everything. Doubts are normal I think. There’s a lot to consider with the kids and our families and friends. That’s without being smacked in the face with any flashes. You think that you’re closed off but you’re not. Not to me. I don’t need the connection to understand. Jedi mind trick.”

Liz smiled despite herself at his gentle teasing. “Nice trick,” Liz murmured her voice holding her amusement.

Max started to smile in response but the first brush of her mouth demanded his full attention. Worthy or not, it didn’t seem as important when she was touching him.

Liz meant the kiss to be light but she kept being drawn back, longing for something more. Caution faded into the back of her mind along with her worries, as she tasted the soft inner rim of his bottom lip. She tried to show him that she did want him, that her fears were separate from that want.

Max shifted closer as her fingers brushed low over his abdomen causing him to suck in his breath in a sharp intake of air. Their connection flared with the drop in her guard, and once again she flowed into him like water giving him access to normally hidden places inside herself. It reminded him of what he was taking care of, the gentle vulnerable pieces of herself that she guarded closely against further damage. She was, quite simply, magnificent.

Liz feathered her fingers gently over his bare skin struck anew at the conflicting softness of his skin overlaying the harder strength of his muscles. Wanting him to know how she felt she didn’t retreat from the opening of inner doors that were leaving her vulnerable to him, instead she focused on allowing him to see her, just the way she was. She sensed that he needed more then her words to truly believe what she had been trying to tell him earlier and she wanted to give him what he needed, even if she couldn’t feel it in return. She knew it was there, she believed it was, and even if it wasn’t that didn’t stop her from loving him. Nothing in the past had been able to do that and she doubted that would be changed by the future.

Wanting to touch her too Max let his fingers trail up her thigh pushing the T-shirt up in the path of his fingers, as his lips moved down over her neck. Using his tongue he tasted her skin feeling when he reached a particularly sensitive spot and lingering there, wanting to give her pleasure. He didn’t feel unworthy, as her feelings crashed through him there was nothing there that would give him that impression, for those few minutes he believed as she did.

Gradually they moved from long searching kisses to gentle tastes and caresses. Eventually, Max pulled her into the curve of his body and cuddled her close, his hand warm on the bare skin of her stomach. Long after his breathing slowed Liz lay awake, her mind turning things over and over in her head. She felt Noah the moment he woke up and waited, unsurprised when he crept into the room.

“Bad dreams?” Liz whispered softly, stroking his hair away from his eyes.

Noah nodded his head slowly, his fear draining away at the tranquil feeling the gentle stroking sent through him. Somehow his Mommy always made him feel better, the fear less even on the worst nights. She was magic. Sometimes he dreamed about her rocking him while telling him about his family. Even though he hurt in that dream it wasn’t bad because she never let go of him, somehow lessening the cold and dark.

“Want me to tell you a story until you go back to sleep?” Liz asked seeing his blinks growing longer, his eyes slowly closing as he relaxed. When he nodded, his fingers automatically going to clutch her hair, she smiled and kissed his forehead. “What story would you like to hear?”

“New one,” Noah mumbled then yawned. Feeling the bed shift slightly he opened his eyes in time to see his Daddy brush a kiss over his Mommy’s hair as Erin crawled up next to him.

“Okay,” Liz agreed feeling Max’s fingers absently rubbing her arm. “Uncle Alex used to really like this one.”

Max listened as Liz started the story of Aslan the Great Lion and the wonderful, sometimes confusing, world of Narnia. He smiled as he watched Noah struggle to stay awake, fighting a loosing battle as Liz’s soft murmurs lulled both him and Erin into better dreams full of talking animals and magic. When they were both asleep Max kissed Liz’s temple softly thinking what an amazing mother she was.

“Hmm, what was that for?” Liz asked on the edge of sleep herself.

“Just for being you,” Max replied smiling when her feet tangled with his legs. “I love you, Liz,” Max whispered by her ear then gently nuzzled her neck.

Liz smiled slightly and sighed. “Love you too.”

[Lelea]

Chapter Four

Liz woke only briefly when Max slipped out of bed and kissed her hair gently.

“Leaving?” Liz sighed, sleep lapping at her. She felt Erin scoot closer filling the space Max left.

“Yeah, Michael’s waiting,” Max said watching Liz’s eyes flutter open briefly before slipping closed again. Knowing she was already asleep he still didn’t leave. Erin was a little ball curled into Liz’s back, her face tucked into the space between Liz’s shoulder blades, while Noah stretched out on her other side taking up an amazing amount of space for such a small body. Noah still clutched a lock of Liz’s long hair in his fist, hanging on even in his sleep. Max had a sense of time moving as he stood watching them. Even in the middle of such a peaceful scene there was still time trying to move them all past this moment.

The sound of the door clicking shut as Max left caused Liz to frown in her sleep, feeling his absence more keenly then normal.


“How about we play a game?” Liz asked the twins after breakfast. Long hours last night spent thinking things over had led to this idea.

“Game?” Erin asked eagerly. She loved games.

“Yes, a game using our special gifts,” Liz said sitting on the floor and drawing her legs up under her. Erin threw herself down next her just like she tended to do with everything. Noah chose his spot with more care. When he finally settled down he was satisfied that Erin and his mommy were close enough. He didn’t want to miss anything.

Liz waited until they were both settled to explain the game. “It’s sort of like hide and seek or like when we look for eggs at Easter time.”

Erin bounced with excitement. “Are dere pwetty eggs?”

“No eggs this time,” Liz answered smiling at Erin’s bright eyes. “I’m going to think of something that makes me feel a certain way and I want both of you to tell me what I’m feeling. Like happy or sad..and what I’m thinking about to make me feel that way.”

“Noah’s gonna win,” Erin wailed distressed, a pout working over her face. She didn’t like this game already.

“It’s not a winning game,” Liz soothed her. “You hold Noah’s hand and you’ll decide the answer together. Quietly, then you can both tell me.”

“Like you’s hiding and me and Noah find you?” Erin asked perking up.

“Like that,” Liz agreed. This game was set up to do a couple of things. Get Noah to look a little deeper not just freeze at the first rush of feeling. Gradually maybe she could guide him into naturally sorting out the important from the everyday things. Show him that not every upset was something that should worry him. Also, it would test something that had been niggling at her for awhile. How much the twins actually shared back and forth. She suspected it was a lot.

“Kay weady,” Erin demanded ready to start. Locking hands with Noah she waited impatiently to play.

“Okay?” Liz asked looking to Noah.

“Kay,” Noah agreed already searching the wisps of feeling and sorting them to find the strongest ones.

Liz took a deep breath and pictured a school trip to the zoo with Maria and Alex when they were in the sixth grade. Lowering her guard and carefully keeping her face neutral she waited watching the twins carefully.

Noah felt the rush of laughter and bright happiness and smiled, automatically sending it on to Erin so she could feel. Erin, always curious, prodded Noah to look deeper, she wanted to SEE it. They blended together naturally, like they always did when they shared. Erin giggled when she saw the boy with the dark hair acting like a monkey, trying to get the animal in the cage to respond. Noah watched his mommy giggle her eyes dancing as she told the boy…..Alex, to watch out or someone would think he had escaped from his cage. He felt a lightness in her that wasn’t there anymore, no dark shadows lurked around the edges marring the sun. She was just happy in the simple way of a sunny day in a fun place.

He shared his thought with Erin who pointed out the feeling of adventure running through the fun. Looking closer they both felt the eagerness to learn new things, see animals for real that existed in far away places normally.

“What do you see?” Liz asked softly.

“Da Zoo,” Erin answered then looked at Noah. “Wit monkeys.”

“You’s having fun wit Aunt Maria. Ukle Alex is making you happy,” Noah said and made a face like his Uncle Alex had.

Liz smiled feelings of love and pride melding together. “You guys are so smart. That’s exactly right.”

Erin giggled then, pleased with this game. It was funny seeing Mommy so young. “Nudder one,” Erin demanded.

“Okay,” Liz said thinking fast.

The twins both blinked and opened their eyes to see a jungle with butterflies fluttering all over. Noah stiffened feeling his mommy scared and crying. Erin nudged him wanting him to see. Two boys had bumped into her spilling her drink down the front of her shirt and skinning her knees. They were saying mean things and she was suddenly scared that there was no one else around. One of the boys knocked her down again when he pushed past her on the narrow path and her knees sent sharp pains up her legs. The other followed after calling her a clumsy flat chested geek. Noah didn’t like this one, he felt her fear becoming his and the smothering humidity of the greenhouse made it feel closed in and smothering. Erin felt his distress and squeezed his fingers urging him to look over at Mommy now.

Noah watched as she stood up and dusted off her shorts, looking up when a group of kids wandered up the path. Noah brightened recognizing his Daddy with Aunt Isabel and Uncle Michael. Then Aunt Maria burst onto the scene, loudly asking Liz what had happened and chastising her for lagging behind.

“Any ideas?” Liz asked cutting off that memory.

“You was scared. Da bigger boys hurted you,” Noah said scowling.

“Uh huh, anything else?” Liz asked.

“You was mad they got your shorts dirty,” Erin said then brightened. “Da butterflies where pwetty.”

Liz smiled and nodded. “Those were my favorite shorts.”

“But…But,” Noah stumbled a protest.

“Noah, sometimes people do things that hurt but it’s a little hurt and goes away fast. You skin your knees all the time playing outside but you still go outside. It’s still fun to play outside right?” Liz asked watching him closely.

Noah nodded looking up into his mother’s eyes.

“That’s what that was like. I still had lots of fun that day. It was a little hurt. That’s what you need to look for. Whether something is a little hurt or a big one. Don’t let the little ones ruin things for you. Sometimes people get sad and sometimes they get angry but that doesn’t mean it’s something for you to worry about. Sometimes I miss your Uncle Alex and I get sad, but that just shows how much he means to me. It’s nothing that you need to get upset about because it also makes me think about things like that trip to the zoo,” Liz explained softly. “Sometimes things need to happen the way they do.”

“But Daddy fixes my knees,” Noah mumbled softly.

“Not always,” Liz reminded him.

“But he can,” Noah pressed stubbornly.

“Yes, but he doesn’t always. Sometimes you need to remember the hurt so you don’t do that same thing again and get hurt again right?” Liz asked repressing her urge to smile at his scowl.

“Dat’s what Daddy says,” Erin chipped in. “Yike when we jumped from da top of da big slide. Daddy wouldn’t fix it cause he didn’t want us to do it again.”

“That’s right,” Liz agreed. She didn’t share the fact that Max had, in fact, made sure that the cuts wouldn’t get infected and that they weren’t injured seriously. “But you still go on the slide and you still have fun. Feelings are like that too. You just have to learn the difference between the big stuff and the little stuff.”

“Can we do a noder one?” Erin asked tired of talking. She wanted to play.

“Yes, we’ll do another one,” Liz agreed.


“So how are you holding up?” Max asked Michael.

“Okay,” Michael replied looking out over the water. “Cal seems to think things are going fine with the pregnancy. So I’m just watching her.”

“That’s good,” Max said reeling in his line slowly. It wasn’t the fish he was out here for. He hated fish actually. This was just ritual.

Silence covered them for awhile as each man was lost in his own thoughts.

“You going back to LA?” Max asked after awhile.

“No, Maria wants to stay here now that you and Liz are back with the kids. Things were lame out there anyway. She’s tired of that scene and now with the baby coming it seems like a good time to make a change,” Michael answered frankly. “She’s already writing some new songs. They’re different but good.”

“What are you planning on doing?” Max asked. “Not a lot of Hollywood types to guard around here.”

“Not sure yet,” Michael shrugged as worry congealed in his gut. He had been thinking about how he was going support them here. “You?”

“I’ve been thinking. I think we should go into business together,” Max said glancing over at him. “Security of different types. With the build up of companies coming to the Southwest there’s been a build up all around here. We’ve snuck into enough places to know what to look for, you’ve got a lot of contacts, and we could move that type of business easily. Think about it. All of us are suited to it really. Kyle’s with the AFT but wants out and you chose that type of field. Jim and I have been tracking the movements of suspected Skins for over two years now and Cal has the capital. Isabel’s hyper organized and planning is her thing. It could work,” Max said softly. “We could train other people and keep things based here.”

“You talk to anyone else yet?” Michael asked interested.

“Cal,” Max replied. “He thought it was doable. With Liz not working and Maria pregnant it seems like we need a solid plan.”

“I thought she was going to teach or something,” Michael questioned referring to Liz.

“Maybe,” Max shrugged. “Depends. She wants to stay home with Noah for awhile and she has to take some classes before she can do that anyway. It’s not set in stone or anything.”

“Okay, let’s look into it,” Michael agreed. Silence once again settled over both of them. Michael used the time to study Max, seeing tension in the lines of his face. “How are things going with you and Liz? Being back and all.”

“Fine. Things are good,” Max replied shrugging uneasily. “I haven’t seen her parents yet though. This stuff with Noah is upsetting her and being here brings up old memories I think. We’re working on it.”

Translation he’s not getting laid, Michael thought to himself. A blind man could see that. He was so tense his fishing rod was vibrating with it. “Can I ask you something?”

“I guess,” Max replied slowly his fingers tightening on the reel.

“Why do you yourself through all this? It’s been a long time since you guys started trying to make it work,” Michael asked curious.

“I love her,” Max answered. Seeing the patented Michael eye roll he tried to explain. “I took over a year to figure things out Michael. All those trips to search out Skins and threats to all of us. It wasn’t just for those reasons. I needed some time to work things out. Liz knew that and never complained about it. She took up the slack with the kids and went to school, trying to build a stable life for our kids.”

“I remember,” Michael said impatient.

“Do you?” Max asked then sighed. “All that time wasted. There are some things that just are. Nothing changes them. I’ve never looked at someone and wanted them like I do Liz. Not in my life everyday, never get tired of being with them, and just love them baggage and all. It just is. It’s always been that way. What could I possibly want that’s more then that? It’s worth the work,” Max said then paused. “After all that Tess stuff I didn’t just magically do better. I mean….I was better but it was work. I left her, Michael. For over a year I chased after the one thing that would redeem me in her eyes, not seeing that I was actually bailing on her. She had two small children and was trying to find a way to support them, build them a normal life, and I was out killing aliens for days…weeks at a time. Isabel finally called me when Liz got so sick and demanded that I come home and take care of my responsibilities. I didn’t even know she was sick,” Max said squinting as the sun shone off the lake making his eyes water. “She was so worn out that she wasn’t able to recover from the flu. The flu,” Max said shaking his head still upset about his own shortsightedness. “She didn’t want to complain so she didn’t tell me. That’s when I had to make a choice. I didn’t know a lot of things because I wasn’t there. So I chose to be there and work at this. I got the apartment in the same building and set my mind to being there. It was the right choice. She’s special, I always knew that. She makes mistakes and isn’t perfect but she never gives up, she’s never given up on me so why would I give up on her? She’s the one for me, that I am sure of. After everything that’s happened and all the problems we still have….I feel lucky every time I look at her.”

Michael just grunted and sent off another cast.

“You asked,” Max pointed out smiling.

“I did,” Michael agreed shooting Max a look. “I just didn’t realize you’d babble on and on.”

Max just laughed not at all offended. Michael had talked to him about Maria more then once, maybe not as profusely and maybe with frustration coating his words but the end result was the same. Michael stayed with Maria through changes and frustrations and he stayed with Liz. That’s just the way it was.

After dinner Liz put in a Disney movie for the kids and told Max about the “game” she had played with them.

“How did Noah seem after that?” Max asked curious.

“He was okay. He slept through his nap with no problems. I was thinking that maybe you should work with them a little. I know they’re young and we don’t know all the stuff they can do but…it might help,” Liz suggested softly glancing into the living room when Erin started singing along to the song in the movie. “They both have powers. I know they do. They were talking to each other…like deciding on things without talking out loud. They both saw what I was trying to show them not just felt it. I don’t think Noah’s ever done that on his own before this.”

Max mulled that over for several minutes. “I don’t think Javen has shown any powers yet. Isabel hasn’t said anything if he has. Okay, we’ll work with them. I think we should both do it, together, you’ve got the strongest tie to Noah and you’re good this stuff. Working with Cal helped you so maybe we should talk to him,” Max suggested talking as he was thinking.

“I think we should too,” Liz agreed. Glancing in the living room had her smiling at the absorbed look on both of the children’s faces.

Max followed her glance grinning when Erin shrieked startled by the villain even though she had to have seen this movie twenty times. “You know she’s going to start begging for a puppy again after seeing this.”

“I know,” Liz agreed smiling. “She seems to think all animals talk. She wants to have one so she can talk to it. She knows it’ll talk back. We have the house and the yard now. We should think about it.”

“We’ve never had a pet. Neither one of us have,” Max pointed out looking over at her.

“Exactly,” Liz replied smiling.

Max sighed knowing the decision was already pretty much made. He grinned when Erin started bouncing in her excitement.

“Lookit lookit Noah!” Erin squealed pointing at the TV. “Dis your favowit part.”

Noah’s eyes were glued to the set as Pongo and Perdy found their puppies. It was his favorite part.

[Lelea]

Chapter Five

It was while Max was bathing the twins that Ava showed up with Maria in tow. Liz opened the door and her eyebrows rose in surprise at Ava’s outfit.

“Is it clothing optional day today?” Liz asked a smile in her voice.

“Nope, I’m just giving the people around here something to think about,” Ava answered as she breezed passed Liz.

“She almost caused a traffic accident when we stopped for ice cream,” Maria told Liz rolling her eyes. “Men are just sick bastards.”

Liz grinned as she closed the door after Maria. “Michael’s being a bad boy? Is he picking an option you didn’t lay out as one of his choices?” Liz asked in a mild tone.

“He’s hiding from me,” Maria said her eyes narrowing. “I thought he might be here talking to Max. Or I should say hiding behind Max like the coward he is.”

Ava snickered as she pulled out a pint of ice cream and a spoon handing them over to Maria before digging for hers. “Where is Max anyways?”

“He’s giving the kids a bath,” Liz answered. “Michael’s not here unless he crawled in a window. What happened?”

“Nothing,” Maria said scowling fiercely.

Liz looked to Ava for an answer.

“She had to buy a bigger pair of jeans. Then she ran into some chick from school who asked her if she had Michael’s number since he said he’d hook her up with someone to do a little painting around her house or some shit like that,” Ava explained.

“Maria, get a grip. You wouldn’t need a bigger pair of pants at all if your clothes weren’t painted on,” Liz said eyeing her current outfit. “I’m sure Michael just….you know, said whatever to get rid of…..who was it?

“PAM TROY!!” Maria cried stabbing her spoon into the air. “He was NEVER nice to that..”

“Whoa! Little ears,” Liz cut her off quickly glancing at the hallway that led to the bedrooms.

“Michael’s never nice!” Maria pointed out still seething over the very idea of Michael in Pam Troy’s house. “Then when I told her to take her skanky self elsewhere and to get out of my face with her dog breath she had the nerve to look at my left hand and remark about the fact that we’re not married! Can you believe it?”

“You aren’t,” Liz pointed out and shrugged. “Who cares about Pam anyway? Like she matters in your life. Just consider the source.”

“In LA no one gets married! That’s like….taboo or something,” Maria said waving her spoon in the air.

“This is not LA,” Liz said smiling. “This can’t be a complete shock Maria. Its Roswell remember?”

“You’re not married!” Maria accused.

“But I’m not the one upset that Pam Troy made a snarky comment about the fact that I’m not,” Liz said unruffled. “I’m living in sin and I’m okay with that.”

Ava laughed as Maria made a face at Liz in answer to that reply. “She’s got you there M.”

“God, please don’t start Sean speak,” Maria pleaded. “I just might go postal.”

Liz looked at Ava and they both started laughing. When Max walked in his hair sticking up in wet spikes they all turned and took one look at him and started rolling with laughter.

“What happened to you?” Liz asked when she could speak.

“A small uprising. Nothing to worry about I’ve got it all under control,” Max assured her.

“I can see that,” Liz said trying not to laugh.

“The kids heard Maria and Ava and asked that they stop in and see them before bed,” Max relayed quickly.

“You didn’t leave them in the tub did you?” Liz asked.

“No,” Max shook his head then when she just waited he continued. “They were getting dressed in their jammies.”

“Aunt Maria!” Erin squealed running down the hall naked.

“You were saying?” Liz asked Max repressing her laughter.

Max just sighed and scooped Erin up and started walking back down the hall. “What did we agree on?” Max asked his daughter.

“Dat I get dwessed but…I don’t yike da purple ones. I wanna wear da wed ones,” Erin said a clear whine in her voice. “I wanna see…”

Liz watched them go grinning. Erin was always a handful at bath time. When they disappeared Liz turned back to Ava and Maria only to find them both watching her. “What?”

“He seems a little frazzled,” Maria observed.

“No sex will do that,” Ava replied watching Liz roll her eyes.

“Look, it’ll work out,” Liz said firmly. “We’ve talked about it.”

“I’m sure that was just as good as doing it,” Ava said dryly. She smiled when Liz just sighed. “So in almost four years you’ve never….tried him out?”

Liz squirmed looking to Maria for help.

Maria just smiled raising her eyebrows in question.

“I wouldn’t say NEVER,” Liz hedged twirling a strand of her hair in a nervous gesture.

“So you’d say what?” Maria asked enjoying watching Liz squirm. It was so rare.

“Like….Two and three fourths times,” Liz muttered looking at the ceiling.

“Three fourths?” Maria questioned.

“Yes. I don’t have to explain the bases do I? You’re the one that explained them to me years ago,” Liz said scowling at her for not dropping it.

“Oh,” Maria said thinking for a few minutes then snapping her fingers. “That’s the tone I heard isn’t it? The thing you didn’t want to tell me on the phone that time Kyle was coming to visit?”

“You are scary,” Liz declared. “Do you like record our conversations and play them back on a regular basis or what? That was forever ago.”

“My mind’s a steel trap, Liz,” Maria said tapping her temple. “Instant recall.”

“Whatever,” Liz grumbled getting up. “I think I should check on Max,” Liz said edging for the door.

“We’ll be here,” Ava said smiling as Maria rolled her eyes.

“Like I could even get you to leave now,” Liz muttered as she fled the room.

“Well? What do you think?” Maria asked Ava.

“I think that they are both insane,” Ava stated clearly.

“As do I, but that isn’t what I’m asking,” Maria pointed out.

“Okay, here it is,” Ava said pausing to collect her thoughts. “I think Tess came very close to destroying them. As a couple and as individuals. Sex is a touchy thing anyway but she really fucked them over messing with their memories like she did. The what? Three or four times that they had sex before the twins were either erased from their minds or forced by mentally manipulating them. So needless to say they don’t bring happy thoughts to mind when they think about them now. Then you’ve got Max having sex with Tess, that’s not any better is it? So it’s not a surprise to me that they have problems.”

Maria nodded, letting that sink in for a minute. “So twice isn’t bad then huh?”

“It’s not nothing,” Ava answered slowly. “They seem a little…..slow but then they both have a lot of self control so,” Ava shrugged. “We’ll see. Living together like this will force something eventually.”

“I could be dead by then,” Maria complained. “Self control my ass. They bring that to a whole new level.”

Ava laughed at Maria’s disgruntled expression. “With two kids it can’t be easy, especially with Noah having nightmares and clinging to Liz like he is. We should offer to take the kids for the day,” Ava suggested. “We could take the twins and Javen out somewhere.”

“Love that idea,” Maria said already thinking up a destination. Maybe Carlsbad or swimming at the pool.


Liz closed the front door and leaned back against it with relief. She loved them both, she really did, but when the hell was Isabel coming back? Isabel always ran interference for her when those two double-teamed her like that.

After peeking into each of the kid’s rooms to check on them she continued down the hall. Entering the bedroom she paused, she could have sworn Max had come down here. Shrugging she went to the connecting bathroom and pushed wide the slightly ajar door freezing when her eyes locked on a very, extremely, totally naked Max.

“I…I’m sorry,” Liz gasp as Max looked up. “I just…I thought you…weren’t in…here.”

“I was just…going to take a…shower,” Max supplied tilting his head when she didn’t say anything. “Liz?”

“A shower. Right. I’ll just….go,” Liz said pointing over her shoulder to the bedroom as she backed out of doorway. She sat down on the bed and stared into space thinking.

It wasn’t that she didn’t know what he looked like. She had seen him naked before….once maybe twice. So why did this throw her so badly? Liz pondered that for a while and couldn’t come up with a suitable answer. The ringing of the phone interrupted her thoughts and she sprang for the receiver like a lifeline.

“Hello?” Liz breathed into the phone.

“Hey Babe,” Kyle greeted warmly.

“Kyle!” Liz cried elated to hear his voice. “Where are you? When are you coming home?”

“I’m in the middle of Texas in some shitty town that aspires to become Roswell in like a millenium. It’s just miserable here but the good news is that I’ll be home in a couple of days,” Kyle said cell phone pressed tightly to his ear. “I’ll be able to stay for awhile I think. I’ve caused enough trouble that they’re eager to get rid of me for a bit.”

Liz smiled and hummed. “So whose daughter did you mess with?”

“I’m deeply offended by that comment,” Kyle said a grin spreading over his face.

“Uh huh. So?” Liz asked getting comfortable.

“She was another agent actually,” Kyle said still grinning. “Now she’s my boss.”

Liz started laughing. “Is that why you’re in Texas?”

“Yes, she took offense to something I said and here I am,” Kyle admitted. “But enough about me. How’s Roswell? And the wedding of course.”

“Roswell is the same pretty much. The wedding was fabulous of course. Isabel missed you, we all did, but she was radiant and Dane looked very handsome,” Liz said then paused. “You’ll see the video and photo album if Isabel has to tie you down and force you I’m sure.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Kyle agreed easily. “I was sorry I had to miss the actual event. I’ve been severally reprimanded by Isabel already, actually, and look forward to being punished in person. Now that we’re on the same continent I’m hoping to teach the twins some bad habits. Erin’s a quick learner if I remember right,” Kyle teased.

Liz groaned but her smile never wavered. “You remember correctly. She still spits before she swings,” Liz said referring to the big red plastic bat Kyle sent to play with. Kyle had started teaching the twins baseball on his last visit.

Kyle laughed, enormously pleased by that. “Excellent. We’ll have lots of fun then. How’s Evans?”

“He’s ummm he’s fine,” Liz said stumbling for the first time in the conversation. “Everyone’s fine except maybe Michael. Maria’s a little…..hormonal.”

“I thought I heard something about that on the Weather Channel,” Kyle joked.

“Hmmm,” Liz agreed a little distracted as Max walked in, his hair still wet from his shower.

“So everything’s good?” Kyle asked turning serious.

“Yeah, I think so,” Liz answered her eyes unconsciously following Max’s movements.

“Your father isn’t giving Max too hard of a time?” Kyle asked interested.

“They haven’t really seen each other yet,” Liz admitted then smiled at Max when he looked over at her. She mouthed Kyle’s name letting Max know who she was talking to. “But Max’s parents have been great.”

“Of course they have. They love you,” Kyle stated simply. “Trading yourself for Mrs. Evans sealed that deal and those two little urchins of yours just added to it. Max on the other hand has a harder road to travel in the quasi in-laws department.”

“He promised me that he wouldn’t give him a hard time,” Liz said unconvincingly. The truth was she was worried about her father. She didn’t want the twins in the middle of any tension or fighting. They were both very smart and it wouldn’t take much for them to catch on. Especially Noah.

“Right, well, good luck with that,” Kyle said and glanced at his watch. “Listen, as soon as I roll into town I’ll track you down okay?”

“Okay,” Liz agreed. “Stay out of trouble. No poking a stick at the lions okay?”

“Deal,” Kyle agreed grinning. “I almost got my head taken off the last time.”

“A lesson you didn’t learn a thing from I’m sure,” Liz said dryly. “See you soon.”

“That’s a promise,” Kyle agreed and hung up.

Liz hung up the phone but stayed where she was watching Max dig around looking for something. The towel around his waist was dark in patches where the water had soaked into the cotton turning the grey almost black.

“So how’s Kyle doing?” Max asked trying not to slam the drawer shut in frustration.

“He’s good,” Liz answered. “He’s coming home soon.”

“Great,” Max answered through gritted teeth. He reminded himself that he liked Kyle. Kyle was a good guy. He had always been a good friend to Liz.

“Yes, it is,” Liz agreed. “What are you looking for?”

“Just….I thought my shorts were in here somewhere,” Max said confused.

“I had to rearrange the drawers today remember? I think I put them in here,” Liz said moving to the other chest of drawers. She opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a pair of his jogging shorts. When she stood up and turned around she was startled to find him right there. “These?”

“Yeah,” Max said taking the olive green shorts from her hand. “Thanks.”

“Uh huh,” Liz said lowering her eyes to the floor. His feet were long and lightly tanned from the sun, his toes long and slender, she’d never really looked at his feet before.

“Liz? You okay?” Max asked her bent head.

“Huh?” Liz asked her head jerking up.

“Just…..forget….it,” Max murmured as he eased closer slowly lowering his head. He groaned softly when she moved into him, the soft worn cotton of her tank top brushing his chest in gentle brushes. Their lips met and clung sweetly before Liz pushed up onto her toes seeking deeper contact. He anchored her to him, wrapping his arms around her waist forcing her to lean against his body to maintain her balance.

Balance wasn’t a major concern of Liz’s at the moment, the warm slightly damp skin under her fingers was of much greater interest to her. She suddenly had the urge to rub against him like a cat would.

The breath tangled up in his throat at the first slow rub of her body against his. One hand tangled in her hair as her fingers drifted down his side her nails lightly dragging over his ribs raising goose bumps in their wake. He rested his forehead against hers, his breath coming in quick pants.

“Liz?” Max asked between pants.

“Hmmm?” Liz asked moving to nibble along his jaw line.

“What?” Max started but lost his train of thought as she nibbled on his jaw, her tongue darting out to feel the texture of his whisker roughened jaw.

“Shhh,” Liz said smiling against his neck. “I’m concentrating.”

Max smiled, relaxing at her teasing, if she was teasing then things were okay.

“Do you need this?” Liz asked her finger running along the top of his towel.

Max sucked in a swift breath his fingers tightening on her hips.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Liz replied and tugged. The towel unwound around his waist and hit the floor in puddle of damp cloth.

Max groaned as Liz settled back against him, his erection meeting the soft cotton of her shorts and the warm smooth skin of her abdomen.

Liz pulled his mouth down to hers kissing him and feeling his erection jump against her belly, needing to feel more of him. When he deepened the kiss, his tongue gliding against hers, she felt their connection flicker and welcomed the deeper intimacy. Her fingers dug into his back unconsciously seeking to bring him closer.

Max felt the rush of her flowing through him and forgot for just a moment forgot to be afraid.

Liz could feel something trying to happen, like something in her straining closer, reaching for something in him and being met with nothing. Then there was just a void. She slowly pulled away blinking back her tears and taking a shaky breath, avoiding his eyes.

“Liz?” Max asked fearfully. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Liz said shaking her head. Meeting his eyes she offered him a shaky smile and traced a finger over his lower lip. “I love you, Max,” Liz said softly and stood on her toes to feather a kiss over his mouth. “I really do and I miss you.”

Max hugged her closer resting his chin on her shoulder, his fingers rubbing back and forth over the bare skin on her back below the hem of her shirt. “I love you too.”

Liz felt tears prick the backs of her eyes and tightened her arm around him while using the other to wipe away the couple tears that escaped her eyes. She struggled to get her emotions back in line hating this feeling of loss and emptiness. By the time Max pulled back to her face her emotions were locked safely away and the smile she offered didn’t waver.

“Do you want to stop?” Max asked unsure of what was happening.

“No,” Liz said shaking her head. “Do you?”

Max hesitated briefly then shook his head. “No, not really but this isn’t exactly what I had in mind for…..this.”

“Maybe that’s okay,” Liz said softly her voice sounding tentative and unsure. This wasn’t an area where she felt comfortable at the best of times and she wasn’t able to gage his reactions accurately.

Max sensed something wrong but wasn’t clear on what it was. He was saved from responding by Erin’s appearance in the doorway. His eyes rounded and he froze.

Liz felt his reaction and whirled around blocking him with her body. “What’s wrong sweety?” Liz asked holding Max in place with a tight grip on his wrist.

“I thirsty,” Erin whined through a yawn. She blinked and tilted her head seeing Daddy’s favorite shorts on the floor. “You helping Daddy get dwessed?”

“Ahhh yeah,” Liz nodded her fingers tightening around Max’s wrist. “Go back to bed and I’ll bring you some water okay, honey?”

“Kay,” Erin agreed easily padding back down the hall to her room.

“Okay, well I guess that decides that,” Liz muttered her body sagging against his for a moment. “I’ll just….go and get her water.”

Max watched her leave and sighed both relieved and disappointed. It gave him time to try and sort things out but still….Max scooped up his shorts and stepped into them before grabbing a T-shirt. By the time he reached Erin’s room Liz was reading her a story and stroking her hair softly trying to ease her back into sleep. Max watched from the doorway his eyes following the path of Liz’s slender fingers, it was a peaceful moment. A picture of every dream he had ever had since their first kiss. Her eyes met his and although she smiled it didn’t fully fill her eyes like it used to.

[Lelea]

Chapter Six

Worried when Liz didn’t come to bed after getting Erin settled, Max got up and searched her out. He stopped in the doorway to the living room his brow wrinkling with deepening unease, finding her curled up on the couch staring sightlessly at the TV, remote in hand.

“Liz? Aren’t you coming to bed?” Max asked softly.

Her eyes jerked to the doorway at the sound of Max’s voice, startled out of her thoughts. “Umm you know, I’m not really tired. I’ll just…..watch some TV and then…..go to bed later. There’s a movie coming on and….” Liz trailed off shrugging lightly, masking her emotions behind the careless gesture.

“What movie?” Max asked walking into the room. “A good one?”

“Not really,” Liz answered then corrected herself. “I mean, you wouldn’t like it. It’s a girlie movie, no body count or anything. Go ahead and go to bed. I know you’re tired, I’ll just come when I’m ready.”

“Okay,” Max agreed but paused. His instincts were telling him something was wrong but he didn’t know what or how to deal with it. He didn’t want to crowd her. He had learned that Liz needed alone time. Being an only child she was used to having plenty of solitary time to do…..whatever it was that she did. The kids drastically cut into that time as it was. He didn’t want to hover and seem pathetic or anything. “Night.”

“Goodnight,” Liz said and turned her eyes back to the TV watching him from the corner of her eye, waiting until he left before she relaxed. Absently flipping through the channels to find her made up movie she pulled the throw blanket over her legs and settled into the couch for the night. She just couldn’t sleep in the same bed with him tonight. Right or wrong she felt more alone there then she did out here. She was tired of trying for today, she was exhausted from the effort. Tomorrow was soon enough to push the boundaries further.

She was starting to wonder if they had reached the limit of those boundaries. If they would break apart if they pushed them any further. If she would break apart. It wasn’t really Max’s issue it was hers and she knew that, but knowing that didn’t seem to change it.

She should just stop looking for something that wasn’t there anymore. Something that might have just been an illusion in the first place. It could only continue to make her unhappy.

Pausing as disjointed images flashed across the screen she watched finding something she could relate to in the very lack of a cohesive picture. Her life felt that way. Disjointed and off, resisting all her efforts to right it. She wondered if she even knew what right was anymore. If she ever really had at all, actually.

A long time ago she thought she had. It had seemed so simple once, now everyday felt like trying to walk under water.

After everything with Tess had come to a conclusion she had concentrated on gathering up the pieces of her life to build something solid for her children. Everyday was a new discovery. Some good and some not so good but all of it worthwhile and fulfilling in its own way. Her mom had been a godsend during that period of adjustment. She had stayed in California offering support and quietly guiding her into learning about her new role as a mother. There hadn’t been time for self-examination. It had taken everything she had to straighten things out into something that even resembled a normal life. That whole first year was a blur of diapers, feedings at odd hours, and lack of any real rest. And studying, lots and lots of studying.

Cal had often found her reading her textbooks out loud to the babies while feeding them or asleep with a baby draped over her chest and an open textbook in her lap. She had felt a driving need to obtain the means to care for the twins in every way that she could. Max hadn’t really figured into her thoughts, she hadn’t allowed it. Max was a distraction and a complication that she just didn’t have the energy to sort out then. He had been off on his own quest for whatever was driving him, so they had orbited each other but never really connected too deeply. Both afraid of what they might see now that things were more on an even keel.

Once things had stabilized and she had settled into a working situation with Isabel, school had demanded her time. She had tested out of more then a few courses at Cal’s urging. He had manipulated the situation into one of his liking with his usual gusto, donating money and generally telling the college what should happen with a heretofore wasted genius such as herself, at least that’s what she was in Cal’s new production that was actually her life. Each time he spoke to someone at the school her accomplishments grew in the telling. In three years she had managed to accumulate quite a few credits and several degrees even though she bounced around curriculum wise to whatever interested her in the world of science.

Max had steadily made his presence known and quietly inserted himself into her life, managing to slowly work her around to accepting more and more of him on a personal level. It wasn’t that she shut him out, because she didn’t. He was always included in anything to do with the children and they spoke often, touching base even when he was gone. It was more like he slowly crept into the middle of her daily life without her really noticing it. It hadn’t alarmed her because it had happened so slowly, almost naturally, that no internal alarms had gone off to warn her. She hadn’t really given it any thought. He was just Max. He was always going to be in her life so it wasn’t until the ¾’s incident that she had felt any real stirrings of alarm.

She couldn’t even say why it had scared her like it had at the time. If someone had asked, she would have said that they were working on their relationship and following that thought further would include a greater depth to their relationship then currently existed. Plenty of people had asked. All the time. They never seemed to stop asking. She had never even considered dating, always having at the back of her mind the idea of a future that included Max. It just wasn’t defined or solid. It was the future. Everything else was now. The kids, school, friends, family, and a thousand other things.

Then suddenly she was on the couch with Max and things were way out of hand before she even knew what was happening. She was feeling things that reminded her of how they got here in the first place. She hadn’t really processed anything much beyond the overwhelming need swamping rational thought, it was the fear that broke through, vaulting her off the couch and leaving her feeling like she had been thrown into a tub of ice water. She had backpedaled so fast that Max hadn’t even caught his breath to speak before she was closing the door practically in his face. How she had managed to hustle him out of the apartment was still a mystery. He had found himself in the hall with no shoes and half undressed staring at the closed door while Liz had bolted the door like there was an all out assault by her very own personal monster just moments away.

It wasn’t until later that she had realized what had triggered her skittishness and outright panic. Her dreams had taken on new life leaving her queasy with blind terror, the old dream of Tess lurking on her balcony vivid in her mind every morning for weeks at a time. No amount of telling herself that Tess was dead seemed to help. The nightmares were different from night to night but the theme was the same.

That’s when she had stopped and really looked at the past. Thinking that if she examined it and dissected every detail things would get better. There were still some gaps in her memory but for the most part she remembered each time she had been with Max. Every time, every personal detail that should have been private and wasn’t. Looking at it from every angle hadn’t made it better. Not for her. She felt ill and violated in a way that left her damaged, incomplete in some way. She questioned everything about her memories. Did Tess fiddle with them and change details? Erase things and implant others? Was a tape of her floating out there somewhere waiting to pop up? The things that they had done….had it really been them or had Tess manipulated them like puppets? There were glaring differences between their first time and every time after that. That fact couldn’t be ignored. Now she wondered what was real and what wasn’t.

After months of internal debate and private examination, while the nightmares continued following her from California to Paris growing in strength, she excepted what the scientist in her had pointed out almost from the start. She would have to try it again and compare the untampered with event to the others and see which it came closest to. That was the only logical conclusion.

Still she had hesitated torn with indecision and fear. It was Noah who pushed her past her fear and into action. Having him woken up by a tidal wave of her emotions that she wasn’t able to wall off in the depths of sleep had forced her to take that first step.

She had gone to Max the next night after the kids were asleep.

It had been planned and thought about a hundred different times, a thousand scenarios had occurred to her. What she hadn’t realized, hadn’t factored in was what happened when they touched each other. In examining things so intensely she had missed what she had first felt from Max long before sex was a semi possible dream. The force that could overtake everything else, even the most well thought out plan.

She never got to explain the plan or say much of anything. That force had just swept her up and carried her along regardless of any plan that either she or Max might have had. She had pushed down the brief stirrings of panic in her belly and gave herself up to the momentum building between them. That sense of the inevitable, it was only later that she questioned. Creeping out of Max’s room for the solitude of the terrace, her thoughts a chaotic riot of images, both past and recent past. No conclusion was reached and no serenity found. Just more confusion.

The nightmares still surfaced on occasion and she still hadn’t found that sense of belonging that she had remembered finding their first time.

After that she had practiced iron control over volatile emotions afraid of damaging the two most cherished souls entrusted into her care. She didn’t know what else to do. No matter how lost she felt or how confused she got she figured she couldn’t go wrong putting them first. She fought hard to work everything out and make everyone happy but when in doubt she stopped and centered her world by looking for what was right for them.

Movement in the doorway snagged her attention and when she saw Noah she muted the TV. “It’s awfully late sweety. You should be sleeping.”

“Did sleep,” Noah responded as he climbed up onto the couch. Looking at her from under long dark lashes he didn’t miss the softening of her expression.

“I know you did but you need to sleep even more,” Liz said amused, sometimes he looked so much like Max.

Noah crawled up and settled himself against her feeling the love flowing through their connection. He liked seeing his mommy happy not feeling sad. “Kay, but maybe I sleep more ‘morrow.”

“Tomorrow you’re going with Aunt Maria and Aunt Ava remember? You’re going to play with Javen so you won’t want to sleep then,” Liz reminded him watching him frown as his small fingers reached for her hair. He had always played with her hair even as a baby.

“Don’wanna go,” Noah said stubbornly. Even knowing that the bad monster wasn’t here yet didn’t change his mind. He could feel bad things hovering.

“Noah, Erin won’t want to go by herself. You know you’ll have lots of fun and by dinnertime you’ll be home. We’ll see Nana and Grampa tomorrow night and when you get home Daddy will have finished your sandbox. Javen missed you an awful lot. Don’t you want to play with him?” Liz asked watching him closely.

“Uh huh,” Noah admitted softly torn. Erin wouldn’t go if he didn’t and he did want to play. “But him could come here,” Noah suggested hopefully.

“Your toys aren’t unpacked yet,” Liz reminded him. “That’s why Aunt Maria wants to take you guys out to play. She always thinks of fun things to do and when you get back your toys will be out then we can have Javen over.”

“But….but…” Noah protested. “Why down’t you come too?”

“I’ve got to stay and help Daddy with your sandbox and unpack more stuff. I’ll be here when you get back,” Liz assured him softly.

“Rweally?” Noah asked tentatively. “You be wight herw?”

“Yup,” Liz said and kissed his forehead. “We gotta show Grampa how to build a sand city right?”

“Rwight,” Noah agreed relaxing. Mommy kept her promises and maybe even the monsters couldn’t change that.

“Okay then. So you need to get some more sleep,” Liz said pleased that Noah was going. It would be good for him to get out and have fun, not worry so much.

“You too?” Noah asked yawning.

“Yeah,” Liz sighed and turned off the TV. “Me too. You want to try sleeping in your bed tonight? See if your new bed is comfortable?”

Noah shook his head and twinned his arms around her neck. “Nuh uh. I wanna stay hwere wit you.”

“Okay, but you have to go to sleep,” Liz said figuring she had managed to win half of what she was trying to accomplish and that was more then she managed with Max. She snuggled him closer rubbing his back in slow circles as he nodded against her shoulder.

Moments later they were both asleep curled up on one end of the sofa. Hours later that’s where Max found them. After smoothing back Liz’s hair and adjusting the blanket over both of them he settled down on the other end of the couch, amazed at how little room they both took up. With a sigh he finally allowed himself to relax, feeling better now that Liz was close. Just before dawn Liz woke long enough to shift around, bringing Noah with her, to rest against Max’s chest. As she drifted off she felt Max brush a soft kiss over the top of her head and sighed, her breath tickling the short strands of Noah’s hair causing him to smile in his sleep.

[Lelea]

Chapter Seven
Waking up Max blinked at the ceiling trying to shake off the sleep clouding his mind. A smile crept over his mouth feeling Liz’s deep even breathes feather over his neck, her hair tickling his ear. Moving slowly so he didn’t wake her he moved his neck wincing at the kink that had developed overnight. Looking down he met Noah’s silent appraisal.

“What are you doing up already?” Max whispered glancing at his watch. “It’s still pretty early. Aunt Maria won’t be here for a couple of hours.”

“Not gowing,” Noah replied firmly moving closer to Liz. He didn’t like breaking promises to Erin or Mommy but there was more then one monster and he was scared to leave. Maybe he could get Mommy to come if he asked again.

Max cocked his head and studied Noah’s stubborn expression thinking it looked like a replica of Liz’s. It was clear he was serious about not going. “How come?”

“I gotta watch Mommy,” Noah mumbled his fingers clutching the hem of Liz’s tank top. A glance at Mommy showed her still sound asleep so he focused on Daddy.

“For what?” Max asked trying to get a little more to work with. His son was stubborn and it was like prying gold out of a mountain to get him to open up. Liz was better at it but she wasn’t up to deal with it.

“Day wants her,” Noah said softly. “One think she pwretty and smart and da oder one’s think she….umm she important. Dey needs her ta do stuff.”

Max felt his heart start to beat faster as fear bloomed. “What kind of stuff?”

Noah shrugged not having the words to match the things in his head. “Monster things. Dey might take her so I gotta watch so I can go too.”

“Noah, listen, I’ll watch out for her. I’ll be here,” Max said wanting to relieve the burden Noah was putting on himself.

Noah shook his head. “You’s don’t see. You leave,” Noah whispered. Mommy always stayed, he could always feel her. Daddy wasn’t like that. He left and even when he was here it was hard to get through. Mommy always knew when he was scared cause she felt it, she felt him, but Daddy didn’t. Not always.

Max sucked in a breath and slowly released it his mind scrambling to come up with the words that would ease Noah’s mind. “I haven’t gone away in a long time and I’m not going away anytime soon. I’ll never leave you forever Noah. I love you very much, Mommy and Erin too.”

Noah just looked at him, his eyes serious and dark. He did know Daddy loved them, but sometimes that wasn’t enough to keep Daddy here. “I know but sometime you hwere but not hwere. You don’t see Mommy. Inside yik I do. Why not?”

Max opened his mouth and shut it his brow furrowing. “Inside? Like when you just know things?”

Noah nodded. “You kin know Mommy yik dat. Some time you do but you don’t look all da time. Eben when she try to close up she never goes away. I kin still feel her like da sun. She always dwere. If you need her she always dwere. She just knows,” Noah tried to explain. He didn’t understand why Daddy didn’t see. Noah felt Daddy best through Mommy so he knew that they had strong ties. So why didn’t he know that Mommy always got sad when he went away? Noah figured that he just never looked and if he never looked he couldn’t see and wouldn’t know if Mommy needed him. The monsters could come and take her and Daddy wouldn’t know. “You go away. Dwere’s nutting dwere. You bwetter at hiding den Mommy is.”

Max’s brow wrinkled in thought trying to puzzle out exactly what Noah was talking about.

“Why you hide from monsters dat awren’t dwere anymore?” Noah asked.

“What?” Max asked startled.

“Some time you afraid of Mommy. Why?” Noah asked puzzled. “You hide and she can’t find you. Mommy’s not scary so why you hide?”

Max’s mouth opened and shut like a fish out of water, struggled to find a response.

“Mommy neber stay mad eben when you do sumthing rweally bad,” Noah pointed out. Erin did bad stuff all the time and Mommy never stayed mad about it. When Daddy went away and hurt her she cried but never stopped trying to make it better. “She don’t yik it when she can’t find you. She cries so why you do it? She feels all yucky when you do dat. I hab to stay home and watch,” Noah decided nodding. Daddy just didn’t understand and he couldn’t take the chance of them taking Mommy away. If they did he wouldn’t ever be able to see her again so better not take the chance. Even if he did really want to go play with Javen. Erin was going to be very angry with him, Noah thought with a sigh. “I gotta go see Erin.”

Max watched as Noah scrambled off the couch and took off down the hall. He glanced down at Liz still resting quietly against his chest and thought about what Noah said.



Liz woke and stretched feeling cramped. When her eyes opened she was met with Max’s intense stare. “Hi?” Liz asked a little uncertainly.

“Hi,” Max said and smiled to reassure her. “Sleep okay?”

“Yeah, you make a good pillow even if you are lumpy,” Liz said shoving her hair back. Hearing the kid’s chatter from down the hall she relaxed and stayed put. Yawning she wiggled into a more comfortable position. “How long have you been up?”

“A while,” Max said tightening his arms around her wanting to hold her there even though she wasn’t making any move to leave.

“Are you worried about my parents coming over tonight?” Liz asked sensing something off.

“Not really,” Max murmured against the top of her head. He figured it would be the same as it always was with her parents. There wasn’t much he could do to fix that in one day.

Liz laced her fingers with his and sighed. “It’ll get better. They are happy we’re home.”

“Yeah,” Max agreed knowing that they were happy that Liz and the kids were home. Mr. Parker would have been overjoyed if he had chosen not to move back. He didn’t even blame him really. If anyone did to Erin the things he had done to Liz they’d be laying in a shallow grave somewhere in the desert.

“I can’t wait till Isabel and Dane come back and Kyle gets here. It’ll be nice to have everyone here for a little bit,” Liz said thoughtfully. It seemed like forever since they had all been together in one place at the same time.

Max made a sound of agreement not really listening to what she was saying. He focused inward and realized Noah was right. He could still feel her there, at least in part. He could tell that she was missing their friends and longed to feel the closeness of a tight knit group again. He felt it.

“Max?” Liz asked looking up sensing something. Shifting around to see his face she thought he looked odd.

“It’ll be good to see everyone,” Max said mildly meeting her eyes. He shifted slightly and brushed his fingers over her cheek. Even if he couldn’t feel her inside, her eyes always spoke to him. She wouldn’t know how to be a closed book. Having defenses and being shut off were two different things. He remembered a conversation they had had once their first time in the eraser room that had clearly shown the difference between them. She had wished that she wasn’t so in the public eye thinking that she would never grow into the person she should with everyone watching and he had wished that he could be seen. What he didn’t think that she had understood, even then, was that it wasn’t that her father owned the CrashDown that had everyone looking. It was just who she was that interested people. He had never met anyone like her.

Liz wondered what he was thinking that put that look in his eyes. Instead of asking him she just rested against his chest and waited, idly tracing patterns against the back of his hand then moving on to the soft fabric of his shirt.

It was the doorbell that broke the moment.

“Oh my god! Is it that late?” Liz asked bolting off the couch. “The kids aren’t ready to go!”

Max stayed where he was smiling as Liz tugged on her short tank top then impatiently tossed the blanket back onto the couch.

“You let them in and I’ll….get the kids,” Liz said already half way down the hall.

Max slowly got up and ambled to the door letting Maria and Ava inside.

Maria’s eyebrow arched at Max’s sleep tousled appearance. “Are we interrupting?”

“Would you care if you were?” Max asked in response a grin spreading over his face.

Maria strolled past him and answered as she looked over her shoulder. “If I really thought we were I would but I know better. You are just so dense sometimes Max. How have you lived without me here to tell you what’s what?”

“I have no idea,” Max said shutting the door behind Ava. “I just seem to stumble along.”

“Stumble is right. Unfortunately, you don’t seem to trip and land on Liz,” Maria said rolling her eyes. “You aliens have no sense of direction.”

“Maria,” Ava warned softly. No sense in spooking him for the day.

“What? Like he doesn’t know?” Maria scoffed.

Max just folded his arms over his chest and grinned. He had missed Maria.

Just as he was about to reply he stopped hearing one of the twins start to cry quickly joined by the other. “Excuse me,” He said quickly and strode down the hallway.

He found Liz on her knees talking to Noah who was sobbing and shaking his head. Erin was clutching her elephant and standing next to Noah crying loudly. “What’s wrong?”

Liz glanced over at him and sighed. “Noah doesn’t want to go now and Erin’s not going if he doesn’t,” Liz answered then turned back to Noah. “Noah you agreed to go last night. We talked about it.”

“Not going,” Noah declared stubbornly through a trembling lower lip.

Erin cried louder feeling Noah’s churning emotions. She hugged her elephant closer, letting it soak up her tears. “Can’t go by myself!” Erin sobbed afraid they’d make her go even without Noah.

Max walked in and scooped up Erin holding her as she buried her face in his neck, her tears splashing onto his skin. As he murmured to her trying to calm her down he watched Liz talk to Noah while dressing him. She coaxed him into his clothes without him paying much attention while she calmly worked him around into going. By the time Erin stopped crying Noah had lost his stubborn expression and Liz was leading him down the hallway.

“Can you get Erin dressed?” Liz asked looking back over her shoulder. “Don’t forget to put her in her play clothes.”

“Right,” Max agreed amazed Liz had gotten Noah this far. They’d see if they got him in the car without a serious fight. He was normally well behaved but when he said no he meant it and it was a fight to change that.

Liz walked into the living room holding Noah’s hand and the sunscreen on the other.

“Sorry we’re running behind,” Liz said rolling her eyes. “They haven’t eaten anything but granola bars so they’ll get hungry pretty soon.”

“No prob,” Ava said whipping out baggies of Cheerios. “Got it covered.”

Liz laughed and sat on the couch uncapping the sunscreen and squirting some in her hand. As she started applying it to all of Noah’s exposed skin she talked to him softly. “Today I want you to watch out for Erin. That’s job enough okay? Stay with Aunt Maria and Aunt Ava. No wandering off for any reason and no talking to strangers.”

“I know,” Noah said in a miserable whisper. “Dwon’t cross da stwreet without holding hands and no gwowing hands.”

“Right,” Liz agreed and kissed his forehead. “Noah, you’ll have fun today. I promise,” Liz said taking his small face between her hands. She felt like the meanest mom ever but she really thought he needed a break from worrying so much about things. “No worries okay?”

“You stay wit Daddy hwere?” Noah asked still worried.

“Yes,” Liz agreed. “I’ll be right here when you get back. Promise,” Liz said crossing her heart.

“I don’t wanna go,” Noah said tears filling his eyes.

“Noah, I used to go to work all the time and you stayed home. This isn’t any different. I’ll be fine and so will you. You and Erin will have lots of fun and Daddy and I will have that sandbox done for you when you get back,” Liz pointed out holding firm.

“Didn’t yik dat eiver,” Noah said stubbornly. “Daddy don’t make things yik you do and I got tired checking you so far away.”

“Today you’ll be too busy playing to check on me,” Liz said smiling. “You’ll forget all about me for awhile I bet.”

Noah scowled and shook his head as Max walked in with Erin under his arm like a sack of potatoes. Liz smiled as Erin squealed in excitement, happy she wasn’t crying anymore. Max set her on her feet and sat down next to Liz.

As Liz started putting sunscreen on Erin, gently prying the elephant away from her, Ava watched Noah who still looked unhappy although he wasn’t saying anything. Max picked him up and set him on his knee talking to him softly.

Liz half listened to Max reassuring Noah that no monsters would sneak passed since he would watch really hard so Noah could relax. He reminded Noah that Mommy was very good at watching too so between the two of them everything would be fine. Aunt Ava and Aunt Maria were so nosy that nothing slipped by them so he didn’t have anything to worry about. Even worriers needed a day off sometimes to have fun. Liz smiled at that thinking that Max should know.

Finally with a last minute flurry of activity the kids were strapped in their car seats, with a stuffed elephant along for the ride, and they were off. Liz leaned back against Max’s chest and waved until they were out of sight then her smile dropped and she nervously chewed on her bottom lip.

“We are doing the right thing. Aren’t we?” Liz asked still feeling bad about sending Noah off like that.

“I think we are,” Max agreed rubbing her arms. “It’ll be good for him to get out for awhile.”

“Yeah,” Liz said on a sigh.

“Feeling like a mean Mommy this morning?” Max asked a smile beginning to show.

“A little,” Liz agreed turning to look at him. “He is so stubborn. He gets it from you I swear.”

“Not from me,” Max denied. “That stubborn look he gets is totally you.”

“Riiight,” Liz drawled amused. “I’m very easy going.”

“Until you’re not,” Max agreed and scampered into the house before Liz could swat at him. Liz just smiled and rolled her eyes before following him in.

[Lelea]

Chapter Eight

Max already had the sandbox started, the parts roughly set out in the correct positions, when Liz opened the patio doors. He didn’t pay much attention, he was so absorbed in trying to read the instructions, that clearly hadn’t been written by an English speaking person, to even look up at her. Flipping to the French set, he tried to see if those were any better.

After a glance at Max to see how he was doing, Liz started the flowerbed, letting Max puzzle out the instructions in peace. Churning up the soil and adding a mixture of rich top soil Liz found herself in a pretty good frame of mind despite the dark thoughts of last night and the rough start to the day. The warm sun seeping into her and the music drifting out from the house made all of that seem very far away.

Funny how close this was to long ago dreams. The house, the kids, everything just like she had dreamed years ago. Well almost.

“Liz?” Max called frustrated. “Can you…?” Max trailed off as his eyes lifted and landed on Liz.

“Can I what?” Liz asked looking over her shoulder.

Max jerked his eyes up to hers and opened his mouth but nothing came out.

Quirking her eyebrow at him she sighed and got to her feet. Brushing off her knees and wiping at a bead of sweat that was tickling her neck she walked over and held out her hand. “Want me to look?”

“Uhhh yes. Please,” Max said but made no move to hand her the instructions.

Liz leaned over and caught the edge of the paper and tugged. “Letting go would help,” Liz pointed out softly.

“Letting go?” Max asked then followed her eyes to his hand. “Right. Sorry. Umm you read French better then I do so,” Max babbled scratching at his ear self-consciously.

“Why are you reading it in French?” Liz asked flipping back to the English set of instructions.

“I’m hoping to find a language I understand at the moment,” Max mumbled staring at her bare abdomen that was directly at his eye level. “You’re hot. I mean…You’re going to burn. You know under the sun like that. With so much skin showing. To the sun and everything.”

Liz’s lips tilted up and her eyebrow rose as she looked from the instructions to Max. “It’s hot outside and I used sunscreen. Relax okay? Everything’s fine.”

“Everything is. Fine, I mean,” Max nodded in automatic agreement. Jesus he was a babbling idiot. What had he just agreed to? Wiping at the sweat beading on his forehead he tried to calm down.

Liz absently started chewing on her lower lip as she read the instructions. Who wrote these things anyway? Clearly you had to do the sides first if the picture was right. Hmm what was the difference between screw A and B?

“Max get the screws,” Liz mumbled reading ahead.

“WHAT?” Max squeaked.

“Screws?” Liz asked looking up then sighed. “Where’s the bag of stuff?”

Max blinked once his mind scrambling to provide the answer but he was too slow. By the time he understood what Liz was asking she was already walking away muttering to herself, which wasn’t what captured his attention.

Liz bent over and turned on the hose. Letting it run for a second until the water wasn’t hot anymore, she spun around and hit Max in the face with a steady stream of chilly water.

“That help any?” Liz asked sweetly.

Max pushed his wet hair off of his face and narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, thanks.”

Liz watched him stand up and danced over the hose pulling it with her as she dodged a small shrub before hitting him in the center of his chest with the water. “Hold it right there,” Liz said trying to maintain a commanding tone despite the urge to giggle.

“I don’t think so,” Max said shaking his head. “You’re the one with the bathing suit on. I think you should be the one to get wet.”

Liz bit her lip for a second debating her response then shrugged. “First, I’m only wearing half of my suit and second who says I’m not wet already?”

Max’s stopped, frozen in place, his mouth dropping open at the look of vicious triumph on her face.

Liz took advantage and moved away from the house putting the pieces of the sandbox between them. When Max took one step forward she hit him in the crotch, watching with satisfaction as his shorts darkened to almost black. “I didn’t say you could move.”

“Yeah?” Max said over her giggles. “Try and stop me.”

“I’m just trying to help you out,” Liz said biting the inside of her cheek. “You looked a little dazed. I thought you might have heat stroke. Then it looked like your pants were on fire.”

Max pointed at her his eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t have had anything to do with that?”

“Me?” Liz asked pointing at her chest. “Nope, I don’t think so. You don’t need the help,” Liz said smiling sweetly. “I was just working on the flower beds.”

“In that,” Max said inching closer.

“In shorts and a top, yes,” Liz said rolling her eyes. “You are so easy. I think you have a thing for sweat and dirt. Every time I’m either sweaty or dirty you’re mind goes off on a tangent.”

“That is not a top. It’s a bikini thing and we already decided I’m easy,” Max grinned as Liz rolled her eyes and yawned. Taking his chance he leaped over the side rails of the sandbox and made a grab for the hose.

Liz shrieked and turned the hose on him dancing back a couple of steps. She giggled when he hit the lawn face down and kindly turned the hose away from him. “Watch it there. The lawns a little slippery.”

“Come here,” Max said looking up at her.

Liz studied him for a moment then smiled. “Turn over first.”

Max sighed and rolled onto his back wincing when Liz turned the hose on him.

When all the dirt and blades of grass were gone Liz clamped down on the end of the hose, cutting off the flow of water, and walked closer.

Max shook the water off his face and looked up to see Liz standing over him one foot on either side of his thighs.

“This close?” Liz asked seriously.

Max shook his head but didn’t otherwise move. He kept his eyes steady on hers as she lowered herself onto his stomach.

“Here?” Liz asked softly.

“No,” Max said sitting up and forcing her back onto his lap. “Here’s good.”

Liz smiled as Max leaned in and kissed her. She slid her arms around his neck and kissed him back, her mouth opening under his. When her fingers went lax, releasing their grip on the hose, they were both showered with a stream of icy cold water.

Max blinked as Liz pulled back gasping. He smiled seeing the water dripping off of her. “That’s what you get for letting go.”

Liz just smiled and blinked the water out of her eyes. “Feels nice. But my shorts are getting wet.”

Max took in her cheeky smile and laughing eyes, the water sparkling like diamonds on her lashes and just had to kiss her. Sinking his fingers into the wet strands of her hair he framed her face and captured her mouth with his, groaning in pleasure when she submitted without reservation. When her arms tightened and she inched closer, he eased back until he was laying in the grass with Liz stretching out over him.

Liz sighed into his mouth, taking this for what it was. She didn’t reach for more or search for a deeper connection. She accepted what he chose to give and tried not miss what wasn’t there.

“Hello?” Michael yelled loudly, making it to the side of the house. He had knocked at the front door but no one answered. He figured he’d come over and help Max out since Maria was gone for the day.

“Noooo,” Liz moaned resting her forehead against Max’s. “Just ignore him. He’ll go away.”

“Okay,” Max agreed quickly, then caught her bottom lip between his teeth. Soothing the small nip with his tongue he forgot all about Michael when Liz moaned.

When Max deepened the kiss Liz accepted the smooth glide of his tongue and let hers stroke along it encouraging him.

“Max!” Michael barked annoyed. What the hell? Where was he? He said he’d be putting together some sort of thing for the kids. What the fuck? They couldn’t have left without the car.

Liz broke the kiss reluctantly then stood up. Scooping up the hose she clamped it off again and sighed. “He’s not going away.”

Max scowled, sorely put out with this turn of events, and swung to his feet. Raking his fingers through his hair he blew out a long stream of air counting slowly to ten before giving her a swift kiss on the forehead. “I’ll go…..talk to him.”

Liz nodded and headed over to turn off the hose.

Max stayed where he was and watched as she bent over and cut off the water unable to tear himself away.

“Maxwell, why didn’t you answer?” Michael asked as he turned the corner and spotted Max. His eyebrow quirked up as Max turned and glared at him. Turning his attention to what Max had been looking at he smirked. “Hey, Liz.”

“Michael,” Liz greeted him, none of her irritation showing.

“Problem with the hose?” Michael asked his smirk widening into a grin as he noticed how wet they were.

“Not anymore,” Liz answered as she tucked her hair behind her ears. “Max just….got overheated. What are you doing here Michael?”

“Just thought I’d stop by and help Max with the thing that he’s supposed to build today,” Michael answered unable to not notice what had most likely overheated Fearless Leader. He could feel the force of Max’s glare burning into him and let his eyes make one last pass before looking over at Max and raising his eyebrows. “Max sometimes needs a reminder on what to do with his tools.”

“Right,” Liz said choosing not to respond to that. “I’ll just get…whatever in the house.”

Max waited until she shut the door before speaking. “I could kill you.”

“You could,” Michael agreed grinning. “But then you’d have to deal with Maria.”

“She won’t miss you,” Max said glaring. “She’d probably thank me.”

“Hey man, I’m here to help. You’re the one that said you had to do the building stuff thing today. If you remember YOU’RE the one that said if I didn’t have anything to do stop by,” Michael reminded him.

“No. I don’t remember that,” Max refuted.

“You will when you’re brain gets blood enough to function,” Michael responded not put off. “So. Need help?”

“Yes, I need for you to disappear and not come back,” Max said clearly. “I don’t need any help. I don’t want any help or any company okay? So goodbye.”

“Max, I’m disappointed in you,” Michael said crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re the experienced father. You’re supposed to show me how to do this shit.”

“If you don’t leave I’m calling Maria,” Max said cutting off his bullshit. “She’ll be really ticked off to find you wrecking my day. She takes the kids for us and then you come over and…I have to tell you she’s pissed off anyway. What with Pam Troy and everything.”

“What?” Michael asked his smile slipping.

“You offering to help a newly divorced Pam out and everything,” Max supplied shaking his head. “I don’t know. It doesn’t look good for you buddy. I think you need to go home and think about what you've done. Offering the information to Pam that you and Maria aren’t married,” Max made a tisking noise with his teeth. “Not good. Then with offering to leave your pregnant girlfriend, that you haven’t asked to marry you, to go and paint alone with a woman of questionable morals. Can I say Courtney here yet?”

“What?” Michael squawked. “I didn’t….she….Maria wants to get married?”

“Have you asked her?” Max questioned.

“No but….” Michael sighed and scratched at his eyebrow. “Ahh fuck.”

“Exactly. Now goodbye,” Max said grabbing Michael’s arm and leading him around the side of the house.

“But…” Michael started.

“Talk to you later,” Max cut him off and left Michael standing by his car looking dazed.




As Max walked into the kitchen he overheard Liz on the phone.

“No, Mom,” Liz said cordless phone to her ear. “You don’t need to bring anything. Max is going to grill and we have desert and….”

Max walked in and leaned against the counter smiling at Liz’s eye roll.

“Yes, we have a salad. Really, just bringing Dad is fine,” Liz assured her.

Max watched Liz’s eyes widen and then flicker over to the clock.

“No! Don’t come early! I mean…Umm I have it under control okay?” Liz said wincing. “Dad doesn’t like to eat before seven so….”

Max groaned realizing this call was going to be a long one. Catching Liz’s attention he pointed outside.

Liz sighed and mouthed sorry to Max trying to catch what her mother was saying at the same time. “No, the kids won’t be home until six thirty or so. Maria and Ava took them both for the day.”

Max paused before shutting the sliding door long enough to hear one more comment from Liz.

“We sort of have plans today and Maria thought….” Liz started ready to just say to hell with it. This was ridiculous. She never should have answered the phone. Was it a criminal offense to want a couple of hours alone with Max? Did anyone understand the concept of living in sin? Hello? Sinning required time alone.


By the time Liz made it back outside Max was hard at work on the sandbox but he paused when Liz walked out.

“Everything okay?” Max asked.

“Yeah,” Liz nodded. “Just….typical I guess. Need help?”

“I’ve got it,” Max answered slowly. “Why don’t you finish the flower bed?” Max suggested, knowing Liz needed time to decompress a little. He could feel her tension clearly.

“Okay,” Liz agreed and went back to her work loosing herself in the simple task and letting her mind drift. Feeling Noah’s presence as fluttering inquiry she sent a soothing reply assuring him that everything was fine barely pausing in her work.


As he worked Max found his eyes straying over to Liz often. Even when he tried to focus, his attention wavered and slid over to her helplessly. Finally though, he was done. All the box needed was sand.

“Done,” Max called proudly.

Liz stood up and walked over slowly. Coming to stand next Max she studied the large box. “That’s gonna take a lot of sand.”

“Yeah,” Max agreed. “You want to go with me?”

“Sure,” Liz agreed easily. “Let’s go.”

“Don’t you need…..clothes?” Max asked eyeing her bikini top.

Liz rolled her eyes and pointed at the shirt hanging off the door handle to the house. “Don’t you? Really Max, I was going to get another shirt. Relax, you’d think I was walking around nude the way you’re acting. I have on cut offs and a bikini top. Nothing special and I’m in my own BACKyard that has a privacy fence and everything. You’re worse then my Dad.”

Max watched her flounce toward the house and smiled when she glanced over her shoulder at him. “No one’s worse then you’re father.”

“Uh huh,” Liz disagreed. “You will be. You’re already bad. I can’t even imagine what you’ll be like with Erin when she’s older.”

“That’s different,” Max said catching his shirt as she tossed it to him.

“Right,” Liz said a smile crossing her face. “How’s that?”

“She doesn’t have a balcony,” Max replied grinning.

“She has a window,” Liz countered and watched Max’s smile fade. Laughing she went into the house to retrieve her shirt. He was more like her father then he liked to admit. Erin was likely to give him a run for his money too. Much more so then she gave her father.



An hour later the sandbox was complete, with sand, just as promised. Liz made sure the top was on it just in case a neighborhood cat should mistake it for a litter box. The accompanying sandbox toys all had the price tags off and were ready to go.

She unpacked the two boxes labeled as the twin’s favorite toys, before starting on getting the stuff for dinner organized. Max moved stuff around in the garage to make more room for the new bikes before seeking Liz out again.

He followed the sound of running water down the hall and paused at the half opened bathroom door.

“Liz?” Max called from outside the door.

“Yeah?” Liz called back ducking out of the shower spray to hear him better.

“You hungry?” Max called thinking he would fix them lunch.

“Umm not really,” Liz answered then paused. Taking a deep breath she pushed down her nerves. “You want to….come in?”

Max’s eyes widened in surprise and he was momentarily thrown off balance and rendered immobile.

Liz gnawed on her lower lip, unconsciously twisting her fingers, as she waited for him to say something. As the seconds ticked past she actually felt queasy. She jumped when Max stuck his head around the shower curtain.

Max saw her twisting her fingers and the way her eyes dropped to the bottom of the tub and kept his eyes on her face.

“You sure about this?” Max asked softly watching her expression closely. He couldn’t read what he was feeling from her since he was feeling conflicting things, so he waited for her to say something.

Liz nodded slowly, resisting the urge to hide from him. It was one thing to go with the moment and quite another to just invite him into her shower. She figured she was going to have to take a bold step forward if things were ever going to change so shyness would have to be struggled against and ignored if possible. This was what she wanted so she had to try and make it work.

“Don’t touch your hair,” Max said quietly. “I want to wash it.”

“Okay,” Liz agreed smiling slightly and raising her eyes to his. “Then you better hurry.”

Max ducked back out and fought with his clothes, struggling to take off everything at once, almost tripping himself in his haste. He didn’t question her sudden decision, his brain was stuck on the fact that she had invited him into a private naked place. In broad daylight with no foreseeable interruptions, feeling lightheaded he caught himself against the counter as his knees weakened and his shorts tangled around his foot.

Liz glanced over her shoulder as Max stepped into the tub behind her and smiled at his wild appearance. His hair was sticking up all over the place and his ears had a nice glow to them.

Max halted just before touching her, reminded of a long ago fantasy of hers. She looked almost like she had at sixteen in that brief glimpse of her locker room fantasy, her eyes looked wide and shy, her fingers showed her nerves in how tightly she gripped the puff ball thing in her hands, her arms covered most of her chest, and a glance at her feet showed her them turned inward, toes curled into the tub.

“Shampoo please,” Max said softly holding out his hand.

Liz reminded herself to breath and reached for the bottle passing it off then ducked back under the water to rewet her hair.

Max kept her partly under the flow of water with his body placement, hoping the warm water would ease some of the tension in her muscles. He wanted to do better this time, make it right for her. He focused intently on her, blocking out all other thoughts, even though at that moment he didn’t think he had any other thoughts.

Liz sighed as his fingers worked through her hair and she let him do things at his own pace. Relaxing when he didn’t seem to find her behavior or reactions odd, she slowly leaned back into his chest as his hands drifted over her upper arms gathering her hair in his hands gently. She focused on the present, not wanting thoughts of the past to intrude. This wasn’t anything like the past, it was by choice in the bright light of day and he loved her. The queasy feeling eased as she kept her eyes open, not allowing flashes of other things to distract from this.

He took longer then necessary to wash her hair allowing her to relax back into him, enjoying the mingling scents of shampoo and Liz. This simple thing was so erotic for him, the wet silky glide of her hair through his fingers, her wet skin brushing then settling against his was a thousand fantasies made real.

When Max crowded her back under the water, Liz tilted her head up allowing the water to rise her hair without getting soap in her eyes.

Max watched the water wash through her hair sending the soapy strands over her back and his chest and his groin tightened in fierce reaction. The feel of her long hair washing over his chest was intensely physical and whole body reacted, his heartbeat picking up along with his breathing, even his toes ached.

She felt his arm slip around her, felt his palm against her belly his fingers spreading wide in his desire to hold her and her skin seemed to heat under his touch. That feeling held her still as he anchored her against him, fitting their bodies as closely together as he could. She gasp slightly feeling his erection nudge the hollow at her lower back but didn’t move away, after a brief moment she leaned back into him forcing her nerves away, one arm lifting to wind back around his neck.

Max widened his stance bringing his head down to nuzzle her neck feeling her fingers tangle in the hair plastered against his neck. His arm tightened around her holding her weight against him as she turned her face to his brushing her lips softly over his. His mouth closed over hers, delicately cherishing her in deference to the shyness still lurking in the depths of her eyes. The kiss slowly deepened and heated lingering as his hands stroked over her breasts.

Finally pulling back to breathe, Liz panted lightly, struggling to keep from searching out more. It was hard to keep from calling for him, reaching for that unattainable feeling of oneness that shimmered in her memory. Instead, she focused on remaining open to him while at the same time damping down her connection to the kids. She did it slowly so as not to alarm Noah, gradually allowing Max more access while limiting the rest. She allowed Max to accept what he was comfortable with. Careful not to push for more then he was willing to give.

“Ready to get out?” Max murmured against her neck his hands gently stroking her skin.

Liz’s fingers automatically held onto to his neck tighter as she nodded. “I guess so.”

“I’ll even provide drying service,” Max offered against her neck pausing only long enough to speak before continuing to taste her.

“Okay,” Liz agreed softly, nibbling nervously on her lower lip. She was doing the right thing and this wasn’t rushing. Three years couldn’t be labeled rushing even in her dictionary. This was bold not foolish.

[Lelea]

Chapter Nine

As Max walked her backward into the bedroom Liz swallowed her fear. Max would never hurt her, it wasn’t that. In truth, she wasn’t sure what it was and didn’t want to stop to examine it right now either. Thinking was the enemy.

Max couldn’t believe the great turn this day was taking as the sunlight streaming in the windows painted Liz’s skin in warm rich tones. Noah’s observations were far from his mind as Liz’s fingers tightened on his shoulders holding his attention just as firmly as his shoulders.

When the backs of her knees hit the side of the bed she sat down and scooted into the center of the bed. She glanced around taking in the brightness and warmth of the room, see? Nothing here to be scared of. They were alone, Max was beautiful, and this was what she wanted. Wasn’t it? Of course it was. So the last couple times it hadn’t really totally worked out…..that was her fault. She hadn’t been ready or hadn’t been able to stop thinking long enough to….whatever. Max didn’t seem to have any problems.

This time would be different. She’d make it different.

Max just stared. He couldn’t get over how gorgeous she was and she was here. With him, like this. His intentions faded as his focus centered itself on this moment. This string of events. He crawled onto the bed, up over Liz, pushing her back onto the bed, missing the slight hesitation before she touched him.

Liz’s stomach rolled with anxiety as searching fingers of mindless lust seeped from him. Focusing on his eyes she forced back her insecurities and deliberately reached for him, sliding her fingers over his arms, up onto his shoulders. Reminding herself that this was Max. The only one she had ever wanted to be with like this. Breathing easier she brushed her mouth over his, trying to coax back the warm feeling she always got from any affectionate touching between them.

As soon as Liz’s mouth touched his, he took over, slanting his mouth over hers and deepening the kiss. Everything about her fueled the burning ache gnawing at his gut. The way her fingers trembled slightly as they brushed over his skin, the hot taste of her mouth under his, the way her legs parted allowing him to settle against her. Everything.

Self-preservation was driving her to detach herself from all of this. The urge to close off from him into a safe contained place inside herself was almost overwhelming. It was too much. Trying to juggle her feelings and his when his feelings just seemed to feed her fears. She couldn’t find that feeling of rightness that she got from a simple kiss to her forehead.

Turning her face away from him she took a deep steadying breath reminding herself that to make things different was sometimes uncomfortable and she needed different. This twilight place was deadening. Turning back to him she searched his face, looking for reassurance, for something that would ease her fears.

“Max?” Liz whispered her voice quivering slightly as she reached out the only way that was open to her, with words.

Max stilled at the sound of her voice, his eyes searching out hers. Seeing anxiety swimming in her expressive eyes and the tears spiking her lashes, he framed her face with his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “What is it? Am I hurting you?” Max asked softly, shifting more of his weight onto his elbows.

Liz shook her head, her fingers holding on tightly to his back. “No, I just…umm I don’t know. You feel things right? I mean, this feels okay? To you?”

Max eased back down following her tugging fingers as he searched for some answer to her question or more accurately, the reason for her question. “I feel things. Good things.”

“Oh. Okay,” Liz said softly looking down at the hollow of his throat.

Max watched the way her lashes fanned out over her cheeks shielding her eyes from his view and was suddenly unsure of what was going on. “Liz?”

Confused and unsure of what to say, Liz buried her face in his neck, not able to meet his eyes or voice any of the feelings swirling around inside her. It felt like a hand was closing around her throat choking off any words she might speak before they even formed. She had ruined it. What was wrong with her that she always did this? Desperate to fix it she kissed his neck, slowly opening her mouth and delicately licking at his skin.

Max eased back away from her and was startled to find tears coursing down her cheeks and into her hair. Rolling them over onto their side, he shifted closer, drawing her leg up over his hip then moving to stroke her back softly. “Liz? What’s wrong?”

Liz shook her head unable to answer him and leaned in to kiss him pouring her confusion into action. When he kissed her back her fear lessened and she softly traced the rim of his upper lip with her tongue, fingers moving to his ear, feathering softly over the outer shell before moving to curl around his neck.

“Liz? Wait a second,” Max started confused about what was causing her tears.

“No, we have waited. Aren’t you tired of waiting?” Liz asked voicing one of her fears as a question. “I’m fine, really, and this is….Can you just? Umm talk to me maybe? Just a little?”

“Of course I can but..” Max hesitated then kissed her lightly. “What do you want me to say?” He asked giving in without pressing her for reasons.

“I don’t care,” Liz whispered scooting closer drawn by his warmth. “It doesn’t matter just….anything.” She was hoping talking would steady her and substitute for any lack of true feeling. Blind lust just wasn’t cutting it. Sex had never been the thing that drove her, she needed more then that to overcome her fear and ingrained insecurities. If she couldn’t feel it then maybe she could hear it and that would be enough.

Max nodded stroking her hair back then brushing a kiss over her forehead, relaxing when she sighed and her fingers loosened on his back. As he nuzzled her neck, placing nibbling kisses up toward her ear, he talked.

Liz listened as he talked in husky tones about everything from how he felt when he first saw her to how much he loved her in cut offs. She smiled when he admitted to finding her sexy when she was sweaty and mussed but more then the words, she listened to the tone. It eased away the chill inside and focused her on their life together.

Max stumbled before continuing to speak when Liz allowed her hand to wander touching him with soft curious explorations, her mouth rubbing over his neck clinging sweetly. Unable to not touch her he slid his hand up the warm column of her thigh, around to the silky roundness of her bottom. His long fingers stroked over the under curve of one cheek and his heart tripped as she pressed into his hand, a soft breathy sound reaching his ears.

She tried to overcome her hesitance and make an effort to please him. Since she couldn’t feel anything anymore from their connection she assumed he couldn’t either and tried to infuse her feelings into every touch. She wanted him to know that she did love him and thought he was beautiful, she trusted him enough to make herself vulnerable even when it scared her.

Even as seeped in physical sensation as he was he couldn’t fail to pick up on the steady stream of communication flowing from Liz. It impacted on his senses and quickly overloaded him until he shut down to focus on actions. They could talk later when he could actually think. Right now the way she was touching him combined with the visual stimuli, forcing all other things from his awareness. He couldn’t have told someone his own name at the moment with the way his senses were spinning.

As he leaned down and took her breast in his mouth Liz focused on staying relaxed, desperately trying to ignore the instinct driving her to flow outward. She vividly remembered how that had felt the last time. Like sinking into complete emptiness void of any sensation at all. It had scared her so badly that she had passed out cold. Fear beat at her like wings inside her chest and without his voice to anchor her she struggled to remain grounded by sinking her fingers into his hair, her leg tightened around his hip holding him tightly to her.

Max groaned around her soft flesh feeling her pulling him closer. His excitement soared and he rolled her under him lifting his mouth from her and just the sight of her flushed breasts, nipples wet and pulled tight from his mouth had another groan rumbling through him.

Tugging on the handful of hair in her hand Liz brought him up to her mouth and kissed him wildly fueled by a mixture of fear, determination, and need to connect on any level at all. Reason fled as primal urges overrode softer ones. There was no room for doubt, the precipice had been reached and her sheer force of will carried her over.

Spreading her thighs further with his hands Max sank into her, the wet heated relief of being so deep inside her had his breath hissing out from between his teeth washing over her cheek before he captured her mouth once more. Fisting his hand in the bedding he thrust into in a building rhythm his speed increasing with each movement as he chased the moment hovering at the edge of his awareness. His vision tunneled, graying around the edges as his muscles worked in smooth synchronization taking him closer and closer to completion.

Feeling almost detached from the frantic energy and motion of her body Liz floated slightly cushioned from any thought. Her body followed Max’s guiding hands as the rest of her flowed free searching for sanctuary in the completion of becoming more then just herself alone. She was helpless to stop herself from seeking him out, following the natural path that should lead her to him.

Sensation built unbearably and he thrust hard into her, trembling for an instant on the brink of release before tumbling over. Pinning her to the bed with his weight as he plunged into her, his whole body pulsing with the force of his release.

Liz moaned as she was abruptly thrown back into her own skin. She lay there gasping for breath, her chest restricted by the crushing weight of him sprawled over her. She blinked back tears and waited out the discomfort feeling miserably alone and incomplete. Why couldn’t she just be satisfied with what was? Why was she always searching for more then was there?

When Max finally rolled off of her she wiped quickly at her cheeks, blocking out thoughts of how once she had found more then this. She rested her chin on his chest and felt his heartbeat slow, listened to his breathing slowly even out as sleep claimed him. Eventually she got up and wandered back into the shower getting ready for a tension filled evening.


Ava watched the kids play smiling as they ran around chasing each other in the hot summer sun. Her eyes settled on Noah thoughtfully.

He had been surprisingly good after his battle of wills earlier. A couple of times she had watched him go quiet and still but he had always come around quickly, drawn into play by Erin who impatiently insisted on his full participation in various games. He was clearly enjoying himself now, running full out to keep up with the other two.

“So this was good huh?” Maria asked sounding a little sleepy as she lounged in the shade.

“Yeah, the park was good for a first day. Noah would have thrown a fit if we’d gone too far away,” Ava remarked glancing over at Maria and smiling when she saw her yawn.

“Umm hmmm,” Maria agreed then continued. “It’s like they were never apart.”

“Yeah, that’s good. I know Javen missed them a lot. Dane had to put up a calendar to count down the days until they came back. Javen marked off everyday but still asked a million times a day when he’d see them,” Ava smiled and rolled her eyes. “Try explaining time to a kid. That’s an interesting conversation.”

“I bet,” Maria agreed then speared Ava with a look. “So what’s the deal with you and Sean?”

Ava shrugged and struggled not to grin. “Passing time maybe? I don’t yet. He’s fun.”

“Yeah, like a rash,” Maria grumbled under her breath.

Ava rolled her eyes but didn’t loose her smile. “Ahh M. You know you love him,” Ava teased amused by Maria’s constant insistence on dogging him when it was plain they was family.

Maria shuddered at the use of the hated nickname and scowled. “An accident of birth related us. Otherwise I wouldn’t be within ten yards of him. He tortured me throughout my childhood I swear.”

Ava just smiled having heard the opposite from Sean.

After a moment of silence Maria glanced at her watch and spoke. “It’s already almost four. Think we should start packing up?”

“Give them a few more minutes,” Ava suggested then frowned as she turned to look at where the kids had been a second ago. Standing up she looked around but didn’t see them anywhere.



Erin had spotted the dog first and headed over to pet him. Getting closer she heard the whimpers pulled from the small huddled animal and crouched down to see what was wrong. It never occurred to her to be afraid or that the dog might bite her. As her fingers brushed over the short fur she knew he was sick. Furrowing her brow she focused on fixing it.

Noah’s eyes widened as Erin’s hand glowed and his stomach sank. Mommy was going to be very upset. No glowing hands in public. It was a rule that got repeated often. Automatically he went to his sister’s side and knelt down beside her, feeling her draw from their shared connection, needing more energy then she had by herself. When she lifted her hand, receiving a lick of gratitude from the small dog, he looked at her solemnly.

“You in big twouble now,” Noah said softly no accusation in his tone just stating a fact.

“But da puppy was sick,” Erin argued her lip pouching out. “I jus fixed him is all. Daddy does it.”

“No gwowing hands. Not ever round strangers member?” Noah reminded her as Javen ran up startling the small animal into a barking fit.

“Shh is jus Javen,” Erin told the puppy picking him up and struggling to hold the wiggling bundle. “I fowgot,” Erin answered Noah blinking back tears very afraid now that Noah had reminded her. Daddy had explained why they couldn’t do special things around other people but surely no one would be mad about fixing a puppy when he hurt. That wasn’t scary or bad.

Noah closed his eyes as Erin and Javen argued over the puppy and who saw or didn’t see anything and what Erin had done. He reached for Mommy worried and afraid that such a big rule had been broken.


Liz stopped mid chop and set down the knife as Noah’s call grabbed her attention. Feeling his distress but not a clear reason for it she checked for pain and calmed slightly when she didn’t find any. Soothing him gently she checked on Erin and frowned. She was afraid and near tears, too upset to be clear in what she was sending.

Reaching for the phone she dialed Maria’s cell phone even as she “told” the kids to go to Maria or Ava.

“Maria? What’s wrong with the kids?” Liz asked as soon as the phone was answered trying to remain calm but already looking for the car keys.

“Nothing really. Erin just umm did a little Dr. Dolittle thing to a Chihuahua if the little glowing handprint on its side is any judge,” Maria said over the din of a frantically barking dog and excited children’s voices.

“What? Erin did?” Liz asked surprised.

“I think so. She’s crying so I haven’t gotten the full story yet,” Maria supplied.

“Put her on please,” Liz asked and waited for Erin to come on.

“Mommy? Am I in twouble? I fowgot about no special stuffs I diwdn’t mean to but him was crying,” Erin explained in a rush.

“You’re okay?” Liz asked her worry easing even more at the sound of her daughter’s voice.

“Nooo, you mad at me,” Erin sobbed latching onto the fact that she hadn’t said she wasn’t in trouble.

“I’m not mad. Honey, I’m not mad I promise. Put Aunt Maria back on for a minute and then you can come home okay?” Liz asked.

“Pepe wanna come too,” Erin said tears gone in a flash. “Him’s scarwed and hungwry.”

“Pepe will come too now hand over the phone,” Liz said a smile tugging at her lips.

“Kay,” Erin said and held out the phone as she squealed. “We’s gots a puppy! We getta keep him!”

Liz smiled outright at that and thought how thrilled Max was going to be. “Maria?”

“Yeah?” Maria asked plugging her other ear with her finger.

“No one saw?” Liz asked.

“Doesn’t look like it,” Maria answered. “They were off in the bushes I think. What do you want us to do?”

“Bring them home I guess. The puppy too since he’s glowing. Oh! Can you stop and get some food for him?” Liz asked taking it all in stride.

“Sure thing,” Maria agreed. “Sorry about cutting the day a little short.”

“It’s okay,” Liz said quickly. “I’m ready for them anyway.”

Maria sighed hearing a tone. Liz could lie to a lot of people but never to her. Something wasn’t okay and it had nothing to do with any damn dog. “See you in a bit then.”

Liz hung up and tapped the phone’s antenna against her chin mentally readjusting the evening. Thank god she was almost done with everything here in the kitchen. Feeling Max’s arm slip around her waist she stiffened briefly before relaxing.

“What’s the matter?” Max asked then yawned.

“Looks like Erin does have some powers of her own. She healed a dog at the park today,” Liz answered not fully answering the question. “They’re coming home now. With our new glowing dog, Pepe. A Chihuahua.”

Max heaved a sigh but couldn’t get too upset in his current state of mind. “A Chihuahua huh?”

“Yup,” Liz said still not turning to look at him. “I have to finish this before they get here so….”

Max released her and watched her move to the cutting board and begin to hack at the vegetables there. “About earlier….”

“What about it?” Liz asked focusing intently on her task, whacking harder at the defenseless offerings laid out before her.

“I just….thought you might want to talk,” Max said and when she didn’t say anything in response he continued. “I’m sorry about….falling asleep and how…umm quick things were but I’ll make it up to you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Liz responded chopping away. “You better get dressed before they get here. We can….talk later. If you want to. We really don’t have a lot of time here and there’s still a lot to do.”

Max watched her for a second before pushing away from the counter. He took the knife out of her hand and turned her to face him. Before she could voice a question he kissed her softly. “You okay?” He whispered against her ear.

“I think so,” Liz answered.

“You’re eyes are all red,” Max said rubbing his cheek against her hair.

“Onions. I was chopping onions,” Liz said then stepped back away from him.

“I’ll be back to help you in a couple minutes,” Max said not reassured by the fact that she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Kay,” Liz agreed easily. After he left she just looked at the pile of vegetables in front of her blankly trying to lock down the ricocheting emotions inside her. This was going to be a long evening and she needed to be under control if she was going to make it.