Part 20
“Phillip, I don’t see an alternative anymore. He’s hasn’t shown any signs of becoming more social, I don’t think he eats more than a tiny meal a day, he doesn’t look like he’s sleeping…” Diane sighed.
Phillip shook his head, “Max’s only been living with us for a little over a week. For half of his life, the orphanage told him what to do. The other half, he was forced into adulthood. We can’t start treating him like a child, Diane. We can’t force him into it.”
“But he isn’t going to have a future if we don’t! He’s going to waste away!” Diane refuted.
Phillip spoke calmly, “He’s only been at school for a day. A day is hardly enough time for him to get adjusted to everything. He just had the entire school gawk at him; of course he hasn’t had any desire to socialize with them.”
“But to not even talk to Michael or Isabel? I think that’s evidence enough…” Diane protested once more.
“Give it a week, Diane. If the situation hasn’t improved a week from today, I’ll make an appointment.” While Phillip wanted Max to heal, he didn’t want to drive him away.
Diane nodded, speaking silently, “He’s like a son to us, Phillip. A son that I, as a mother, have failed terribly. I just… I just need to make it up to him. I need to help him have a better life.”
Phillip nodded, taking Diane into his arms, “I know. Believe me, I know. But everything isn’t going to happen at once. It’s going to take some time.”
Diane nodded, “One week… if he doesn’t show an improvement…”
Phillip pecked her forehead, stroking her hair, “Okay.”
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Max jogged down his familiar path, but this time his feet halted outside of Isabel’s apartment. Her light was on. Acting on a mere whim, he decided that he needed to talk to her.
Once he was at his apartment door, he knocked nervously. Seconds later, he could hear muffled footsteps make their way to the door. Isabel opened it almost immediately.
Max scowled at her, “Don’t you ask who it is before you open the door in the middle of the night?”
“I looked through the peep hole.” Isabel shot back, “Besides, I saw you out my window.”
Max frowned, “Oh.”
“I see you every night.” Isabel said tentatively.
Max kept his gaze on the floor, “That’s why I’m here.”
Isabel sighed, pinching at the top of her nose. She urged Max forward and closed the door behind him. Without a word, she led him into her bedroom. She took a seat on her bed, but Max remained standing, closing the bedroom door.
“Why aren’t you sleeping anymore?” Max asked tentatively, staring out the window.
Isabel eyed him, “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I don’t sleep.” Max replied simply.
Isabel scoffed, “Everyone needs to sleep.”
“I didn’t say that I didn’t need it. I said that I don’t do it.” Max replied softly.
Isabel nodded, “I don’t do it, either.”
“Isabel, you’re one of the heaviest sleepers I know. You used to sleep for the longest time…” Max trailed off.
Isabel patted the spot on the bed next to her, and Max complied, sitting down lightly. She smiled miserably, “Things change.”
“What kind of things?” Max begged of her. “I hate seeing that you’re not sleeping, Iz. I hate seeing you run yourself to the ground.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” Isabel replied softly. “At least I’m talking to people.”
Max stood up angrily, “Damn it, Isabel! I’m not talking about me right now! Stop turning this around!” He braced his hands on either side of her night stand, “Tell me why you aren’t sleeping. Please.”
“Because, Max, I’ve got a lot on my mind!” Isabel groaned.
Max pressed her, “Like what?”
“Like… guilt.” She responded softly.
Max looked up at her bowed head, “Guilt? Why?”
“Because…” Isabel replied, holding back the real reason.
Max shook his head, “Because of me?”
When Isabel didn’t respond, Max sat next to her once more. He spoke softly, folding his hands in his lap and staring at them, “Why?”
Isabel looked at him with tears in her eyes. Max kept his eyes diverted, not wanting her to see his torment right now. She spoke in a quavering voice, “I just… I should have told someone sooner. I should have stopped Hank… I should have just… let him… but instead… he got you… and now I’m with Alex… and you’re…. you won’t let Liz or anyone get close to you… and I don’t want you to be alone, Max. I don’t want you to be afraid to talk to me or Michael or any of our friends.”
Max was stunned by her words. He spoke softly, his voice almost catching in his throat, “I… Isabel, you can’t feel guilty because of any of that. You shouldn’t worry about me. You can’t. There’s nothing that you can do to make this go away. You can only try to live your life. And it’s good that you have Alex; it’s good. You finally have the life that you deserve – the one you’ve been working towards your entire life. Run with it. Don’t let anything stop you from living.”
“But you-”
“No ‘buts’. I’m broken. I’m unfixable. Worrying about my happiness is futile.” Max replied softly.
“But you and Liz at the lake…” Isabel protested. He’d been happy then. He had the potential for happiness.
“No, Isabel. The day at the lake was a mistake. It should have never happened.” Max shook his head, closing his eyes heavily.
Isabel gaped, “How can you say that?” It was the one day that he had smiled. The one day that he laughed. She couldn’t imagine how he would think that was a mistake.
“Because. My eyes are open to the truth. Liz and I aren’t anything. We won’t ever be anything.” Max whispered.
“You can’t mean that.” Isabel replied slowly.
“I do.”
Isabel shook her head, not believing what she was hearing, “How can you want to be alone your whole life?”
His eyes shone with pain and sorrow, “I don’t want it, but I know that it has to be that way.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way!” Isabel disputed. “You’re making it be that way. What Hank did… whatever Hank has been telling you in the past few years, Max, it isn’t true.”
Max replied, with a slight smile on his face, “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. You can’t trust your family to tell you the truth.”
“”No, Max! That doesn’t apply here! Hank was a sick, twisted, drunkard of a man who made it his life goal to make someone else live in more misery than him. But he’s gone, now. He’s gone and he can’t control you. You’ve got to stop letting him have power over your future.” Isabel begged of him.
Max shook his head somberly, ‘If I was better than Hank, would I have seen him for what he really was and saved you from all of this before we got adopted?’ But, instead of the vision he held in his head, he gave her the edited version, “You need to let me handle my own problems.”
“You need to stop treating me like a child.” Isabel shot back.
“You’re my sister! It is my job to protect you!” Max said firmly.
Isabel gaped at him again, “You’re my younger brother. I should be the one protecting you!”
Max scoffed, “You’re only older in legal terms. Other than that, we’re the same age. Don’t even try to use that against me.”
“You don’t owe me anything.” Isabel shook her head, “You’ve protected me your whole life. Let me help you, now.”
Max rose to his feet, “No! If I don’t look after you, who will?!”
“Michael will. Alex will.” Isabel replied with certainty.
Max shook his head, “What if he hurts you? What then?”
Isabel shook her head back at him, “He won’t. I trust him.”
“What if he does?” Max doubted her.
“He won’t. He’s a good guy, Max. Just accept it.” She replied.
Max groaned, “You still need to go to sleep.”
“You do, too.”
“I’ll tell Michael that you aren’t sleeping if you don’t go to bed.” Max fired back, the notion striking him suddenly.
“Likewise.” Isabel looked smug about her answer.
Max rolled his eyes, “Go for it. He won’t do anything about me.”
“Yes, he will.” Isabel replied adamantly. “I’ll go to bed if you do.”
“What?” Max snapped.
“Stay on the couch. I’m staying awake until I see that you’re sleeping.” Isabel replied, very proud of her idea.
Max thought it over for a second, “Okay.”
Isabel looked taken aback, “Okay?”
Max nodded. He walked slowly to the door, opened it, and closed it behind him. Isabel called after him, “By ‘see’, I meant until I can dreamwalk you.”
Max practically ran back into the room, “You can’t do that. You can’t dreamwalk me. We made a pact to never use our powers to invade the others’ privacy. I forbid you to dreamwalk me.”
“Okay, fine.” Isabel frowned, “I’ll just see if I can get in or not. I won’t actually go into your dream.”
Max nodded slowly, “Promise?”
“Promise.”
When he left for the couch, she checked the clock on the nightstand: 12:30 am.
She smiled to herself, lying back on the bed. She’d gotten Max seven hours of sleep.
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Max only managed to sleep for four hours that night. After he’d woken, he ran back to Michael’s. He lay awake in his bed until Diane had knocked on his door and told him to go to school.
Every day that week happened just like that Monday. Max would wake up, be gawked at during school and then hole up in his room.
That Friday night, everyone was celebrating the beginning of the basketball season.
Max had declined Isabel’s invitation to join the gang at her apartment. He didn’t want to go out.
Kyle, however, was going to Sean Martin’s party. Max had thrown his flier away days ago. When Kyle showed up at Max’s window at 10:45, Max could barely contain his shock. Kyle knocked on the window raptly, “C’mon, Guerin, you’re not staying home on a Friday night.”
“I don’t feel like going out, Kyle. “Max replied sharply.
Kyle looked at him skeptically, “I’ve got three football players in the car, and they think differently.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Max frowned.
“It means four-to-one, man. If you don’t come voluntarily, we’ll drag you to Sean’s house.” Kyle smirked.
“I plan on spending my weekend away from Roswell High’s gawking eye, thanks.” Max responded curtly.
Kyle frowned, “Max, just come. Everyone’s either going to be drunk, high or having so much fun that they won’t even realize who you are. Besides, if you agree, I won’t bug you to do anything else with me ever again.”
Max eyed him for a moment, “Fine. I’ll come. But you can’t force me to socialize with anyone.”
Kyle threw his hands up in the air in triumph, “Yes! Let’s go!”
“Let me go tell Diane that I’m going out.” Max nodded, turning away from the window.
Kyle smiled happily, “I’ll be out front.”
Max walked slowly into the living room, where Diane was reading a novel on the couch. He cleared his throat. When she looked up, he spoke softly, “I was wondering if I could go out with Kyle. We’ll probably go to his house and hang out or something. Maybe go over to Isabel’s.”
Diane smiled broadly, “Of course! If you want to sleep out, fine. Go have some fun!”
Max felt bad for lying to her. She had given him a home, more food than he could have ever wanted and even his own room. But, at the same time, Max wanted independence. He needed it. If he was ever going to be able to get away from everything, he couldn’t owe anyone anything.
He nodded and walked out of the door, into the night. He immediately saw Kyle’s red mustang parked in the road. Walking over to it, he opened the passenger door and climbed inside.
Kyle grinned, “Finally!”
Max rolled his eyes, but remained silent. He was merely here to get Kyle off of his back.
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“Liz! What’re you doing here?!” Kyle yelled over the noise, a broad smile on his face. His breath smelt faintly of alcohol.
“Everyone decided to come over. We were bored at Isabel’s.” Liz shrugged.
Kyle smiled, “Good news! I talked Guerin into coming!”
“Max?” Liz asked with wide eyes.
Kyle nodded, happy with himself, “Yeah! I think he went…” He paused and looked around the room, “Maybe he went…” Kyle frowned, “I have no idea where he went.”
Liz didn’t like the sound of Max being alone at a party like this. What if he was getting incredibly drunk, trying to eliminate his sorrow? What if some girl was taking advantage of him being drunk? She’d heard that Pam Troy was desperate to get in his pants…
“I’m going to go look for him.” Liz nodded.
Kyle looked around the room, “TESS!” He stumbled off after her with a smile on his face.
Liz checked all of the rooms on the first floor of the house before heading upstairs. She made her way to the bedroom at the end of the hallway, opening it slowly. It was unoccupied. She looked around, making sure that Max couldn’t be hiding anywhere. She was about to leave when something outside of the window caught her eye.
Max was lying in the center of the gazebo, sprawled out. She couldn’t tell if he was passed out or not.
She flew through the house and into the virtually empty backyard. She climbed up the stairs into the gazebo and knelt by Max. She tapped him lightly on the shoulder, “Max?”
Max smiled uncontrollably, speaking strangely, “Shhh. Don’t speak.”
“God, Max, what’d you do tonight?” Liz asked.
Max frowned, “Sean and some of the football players.” He started sniggering, “Football. What a weird sport. You’ve got this ball… and people fight over it. They tackle each other for a ball.”
“What’d Sean and the guys do?” Liz urged him to stay on track.
Max gave a little chuckle, “They ah… I was in one of the closets… waiting for Kyle to drink so he wouldn’t notice me leaving… It’s so weird. It’s cold outside, but I’m all warm and fuzzy.”
“Max, you were in the closet…”
“Oh yes.” He smiled broadly, something that looked like he couldn’t stop, “In the closet and Sean and his friends pile in like sardines. Ha! Like sardines.” He made a face like a fish before realizing that he was in the middle of a story, “And all of the sudden… they saw me. And Sean said that I could join them. But I didn’t know what they were talking about, I promise.”
Max sniggered, “And then the closet filled with smoke and they weren’t smoking cigarettes. It did NOT smell like cigarettes.”
Liz’s eyes widened, “They hot boxed the CLOSET?”
Max snorted, “Hot box. I guess it got hot after a while...”
“Max, you’re high!” Liz exclaimed.
Max rolled over on his side, facing Liz and laughing madly, “High. I’m high. I’ve never even drank before and I’m high. I don’t think so, Liz. You’re….” He trailed off, looking at her softly. He frowned, “Everyone in there was moving sooooo fast. I had to come outside.”
Let’s have bizarre celebrations.
Let’s forget who forget what forget where.
We’ll have bizarre celebrations.
I’ll play the Satyr in Cyprus you the bride being stripped bare.
“We should…” Liz started, trying to get to her feet.
Max’s hand caught her arm, “Shhh. Don’t move. Lay here with me.”
“What?” Liz asked disbelievingly.
Max patted the spot in front of him, the uncontrollable grin returning, “Just lay down here with me.”
“Max, we…”
“Shh!” Max propped himself into a sitting position and then placed his finger over her lips, silencing her. “Close your eyes.”
Liz complied hesitantly.
Max lay her down gently next to him. He fell back clumsily and started giggling again.
“What’re we doing?” Liz asked, cracking her eyes open.
Max giggled, “Shh.” He peeked out of his own eyes and saw Liz’s open. With a free hand, he covered her eyes with her hand. “It’s cold. Like Antarctica. But I’m not cold.”
He smiled again, “But. We’ve got to be quiet. Let’s pretend we don’t even exist, Liz.”
Let’s pretend we don’t exist,
let’s pretend we’re in Antarctica.
Max snuggled closer to Liz, giggling softly in her ear. He whispered quietly, “I don’t think that I should be talking to you.”
“Why not?” She whispered softly.
“Because. It wouldn’t be good for you.” He smiled lightly, uncontrollably. He continued to whisper in her ear, “I’m broken.”
“You aren’t…” she protested softly.
Max nodded, his nose brushing her cheek, “It’s true.”
Let’s have bizarre celebrations.
Lets forget when forget what forget how.
We’ll have bizarre celebrations.
We’ll play Tristan and Isolde, but make sure I see white sails.
He gave a few laughs, “It’s December.”
Liz nodded, “I know.”
“That means it Christmas time.” Max laughed humorlessly, “Everyone gets to start their traditions.” He giggled, “I don’t have any holiday traditions.” He paused, his mouth hanging wide open. His mouth shifted into an open-mouthed smile, “I can’t stop smiling.”
He looked suddenly as if he’d had a revelation, “I never did anything that a normal kid is supposed to do.” He poised in thought once more, “I’m not really a normal kid. Normal. I wish I could be normal. Too bad.” Everything that he said was spoken much faster than usual.
Maybe I’ll never die,
I’ll just keep growing younger with you,
And you’ll grow younger too.
Now it seems too lovely to be true,
But I know the best things always do.
His vision went out of focus for a few seconds before he looked back to Liz, “You. You’re pretty. And nice. I like you. Why me? Why did you pick me?”
Liz shook her head, in disbelief that Max would let himself get high. She spoke carefully, “Because I’ve never met anyone more beautiful in my entire life.”
“Ha! Liz, that’s hilarious.” Max shook with laughter, “You’ve got some wires crossed.” He seemed to sober up for a minute, “I’ve never met anyone more beautiful than you in my entire life.”
Liz’s hope swelled. Max with no inhibitions. He was truly speaking from his heart. She smiled lightly at him, “So you understand how I feel.”
Max shook his, still slightly giggling, “I just. I’m… me. I’m Max Guerin. I’m the quiet kid who sits in the back of all of his classes, except for Biology, but that was only because you sat up front and I wanted to sit with you. That’s not important. I’m the kid from the trailer park. I’m… blah. And you’re… you’re the opposite of blah.”
“Why do you think so little of yourself?” Liz asked softly.
Max smiled sadly, “Do you like your dad? I bet you do. Does he have a pet name for you?”
Liz nodded, not sure of where it was going, “He calls me Lizzie.”
“Lizzie.” Max nodded his approval, “That’s a nice name.” He kept his sad smile in place, “Hank… I guess he’s considered my father figure… he had a couple of nicknames for me. My two favorites would probably have to be ‘bitch’ and ‘piece of shit.’ Oh, sometimes he threw in an adjective before them. Like ‘worthless’ or something. That always added a nice touch.”
Liz shook her head somberly, “Max…”
Max sniggered, “If you’re going to tell me something about how Hank was wrong, just stop right there.” He froze suddenly, sitting up quickly. He looked around the yard quizzically, “Liz… look. Watch.”
And he pointed his hand at the gazebo’s ceiling. Somehow, the snow started falling in a soft powder over them. Max giggled, “I love being able to do stuff like that. That’s the only benefit of being a freak.”
Liz sat up and went to open her mouth, but Max put his finger to his lips once more, “Shh. Just pretend we don’t exist. Just for a minute.”
Let’s pretend we don’t exist,
let’s pretend we’re in Antarctica.
Max smiled to himself, “I love pretending that I don’t exist.” He stared at Liz with soft, tender eyes, “I think that when I leave, I’ll miss you the most. You, Isabel and Michael.” He nodded slowly, “You’re so beautiful. Like a flower. A pretty flower.”
“Where are you going to go, Max?” Liz asked softly, closing her eyes as Max whispered into her ear.
He hesitantly kissed her on the cheek. She could hear the smile in his voice, “To Antarctica. Pretend that I don’t exist.”
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Liz walked a meandering Max down the road. His feet stopped abruptly as he looked around, taking in the scenery, “Liz. Liiiiiiiizzz.” He whispered.
She waved her hand a little, “I’m right here.”
“I feel…. I’m…. I’m just… floating. I feel like I’m floating.” Max grinned.
Liz shook her head, smiling lightly, “I’ll keep you grounded, don’t worry.”
“I’m higher than… a kite. I’m high as a kite.” He snorted, “I thought that was just a figure of speech. But it’s real. I’m higher than a kite.”
Liz shook her head silently, urging him forward once more.
They got ten feet before Max stopped again, “And you know what else? In that closet… when the smoke started… I didn’t feel anything. And then… this wave of euphoria just hit me.” He giggled, “Wham, bam, thank you ma’am. One minute it was there, the next it wasn’t.”
Liz pulled him gently forward once more, “C’mon, we’ve just got to get a little further down the road and then we’re there.”
“Let’s fly. It’ll be so much easier.” Max extended one arm out in front of him like Superman, “You can be Lois Lane.”
Liz shook her head, smiling again, “I’m afraid of heights.”
Max looked putout, “Okay, never mind.” He took his bearings, realizing that they were walking towards the Crashdown, “Liz. Liz!”
She stopped and looked at him quizzically.
He lowered his face, their noses almost touching. He whispered loudly, “I don’t live here.”
“You’re just going to stay the night. It’s fine.” Liz assured him.
Max shrugged, “I think that your dad is going to KILL me.”
“He’s not in town. He and my mother went to go pick up a new refrigerator in Phoenix.” Liz got out her keys to open the door to the apartment.
Max looked around and then dashed out of Liz’s reach, around the side of the building. Liz ran after him. She saw him hastily making his way up onto her balcony. When she reached the top, she saw Max staring into her bedroom.
He spoke softly, “I…” He pointed to the bedroom, “I made you cry in there. I hurt you.”
Liz shook her head, putting her hand on his shoulder, “No, you didn’t. I wasn’t crying because of your actions. I was crying before of what you’d been put through.”
Max spoke through his haze, “I hurt your arm. You told me.” He smiled at her, “You can’t get anything past me, Liz. I’m smarter than I seem.”
Liz frowned, “It didn’t hurt that much.”
“Oh, quiet. You’re a bad liar. Always have been, always will be.” Max rubbed his stomach briefly, “I’ve got…” He sniggered, “I think I’ve got the munchies.”
Liz led him into her room. She sat Max on the bed, “I’ll go get some food. Stay here and try not to touch too many things.”
Half an hour, two doughnuts, four pieces of pizza and a brownie later, Liz had managed to get Max to try and go to bed on the couch. She lay in her own bed, thinking about the evening.
Even with Max’s inhibitions tampered with, he still didn’t waver from his degrading thoughts about himself. She had to figure out a way to change his self-image. There had to be something that she could do.
When the door opened, she sat up, turned on the light and looked up warily. Max stood there, looking sheepish. He whispered softly, “Can I… In the morning, you see, I’m going to regret everything that I said to you tonight. Can I just… lay in bed with you? I mean… I can understand why you would say no… but I just… it’s going to…” He hung his head in shame, “I don’t like being alone at night.”
“Because of Hank?” Liz’s heart broke a little bit more.
Max nodded slowly, his eyes on the ground.
Liz scooted back on the bed, opening up the covers for him. She patted the spot next to her, “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Max sat next to her and said her name softly. When she looked at him, he gave her a kiss on the forehead. He smiled lightly, “Thanks. For tonight. For everything you’ve ever done for me.”
He then lay back in the bed and rolled over. In less than an instant, he was asleep.
Liz thought carefully about Max. He was so confused, so lost. Everything that he said had a fatalist tone to it. It was scaring her beyond reason. And at the same time, she didn’t want to suggest it to him. She didn’t want to give him any ideas, because there was a slight chance that she was looking too far into things.
And, before she drifted off into sleep, she couldn’t help but wonder why Max had made it snow in the gazebo. What significance did snow have in his life, if any?
TBC...
Song: Wraith Pinned To The Mist (and Other Games) by Of Montreal
Confidential (M/L - Mature) a/n 5/11
Moderators: Anniepoo98, ISLANDGIRL5, truelovepooh, Forum Moderators
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sprayadhesive
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sprayadhesive
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 187
- Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:19 pm
- Location: Georgia
Part 21
Max woke slowly, trying to quench the disorientation in his head. He looked around the room carefully, his position remotely registering in his head. He was in Liz's room. He was in her bed. And she was lying next to him, sleeping peacefully. It was like she didn't care that they were sharing the same bed. It was like she didn't care that he was a monster.
As he became even more aware of his surroundings, he realized the position that he and Liz were in. Her hands lay under her head, lying over Max's naked chest. Her hair was sprawled out and with each breath he took, he could smell the faint strawberry smell that usually accompanied her. His hand was lying on the small of her back.
Max took a deep breath, trying to calm his breathing. The events of last night were fresh in his memory, but what was unclear to him was how he had allowed himself to let things get so out of control. He'd acted irresponsible before, times when Isabel had come close to being touched by Hank, and he had felt like shit because of it for weeks afterwards. This, in his mind, was no different from then. He had not only failed someone else, he had failed himself. He had broken his promise that he wouldn't allow anyone to see his vulnerability ever again. He'd shown her the true him. He'd gone as far as to tell her that he was afraid to be alone in the dark.
He tried to move out from under her without waking her, but by the time his feet hit the ground, he heard her mumbled his name, "Max?"
Knowing that she was already awake, Max hurriedly climbed out of the bed. He was looking around for his shirt when Liz's head poked up and their eyes caught one another's. For a second, they froze. No one moved and both hardly dared to breathe. Max closed his eyes, wishing that he could disappear. He needed to disappear.
When he opened his eyes, he realized that Liz's gaze had shifted down to his bare chest. Max self-consciously wrapped his arms around his torso, his eyes now looking around for his shirt faster than before.
He couldn't bring himself to look at Liz anymore. He had to find his shirt and leave. It was the only way that he would be able to salvage any piece of his mask. He moved into the hallway with refrain. When he had returned, his shirt was on his body. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.
Liz shook her head, urging him not to go. She sat up in her bed, looking at Max's eyes, even if they were looking at the floor.
Max's eyes remained on the floor and he slowly stepped towards the window. He stopped a foot short of the balcony and made to look back, but before his head turned enough to see Liz, he snapped it to look in front of him.
He was gone before Liz could process what had just happened. She groaned, falling back onto her bed with her arms outstretched. Was she wrong to have taken Max here last night? She hadn't had a key to Isabel's apartment, everyone was still at the party and it wouldn't have been a good idea to take a high Max to Diane and Phillip. She had had no options.
And was she wrong to have allowed him to sleep in her bed? Sure, it sounded bad… but they had been clothed, for the most part. Besides, he had been scared. He'd told her of his fear of the dark. She couldn't have denied him when he was being so open with her.
Liz reached towards the telephone next to her, picking it up and dialing Maria's number. She would have to wait a few minutes to call Max, give him enough time to get home.
"Liz? What're you doing? It's like… ten in the morning. I've got the headache from Hell…"
From behind the phone's mask, she heard Tess grumble, "Maria! Shh!"
A collective groan from the people around her joined the protests.
Liz shook her head, even though Maria couldn't see it, "All of you are at Isabel's?"
Maria grunted in response and hung up the phone.
Liz sighed and hung up the phone. After a quick shower and a look at the clock to see if it was too early to call the Evans home, she headed off to Isabel's house.
Liz rolled her eyes at the mass of people sleeping in the middle of the living room. She walked over to the window, took a look back at them and threw the curtains open. She winced as she did so, knowing how sensitive everyone's eyesight was bound to be, but she had to get them up if they were going to call their parents and check in.
Kyle shot up from his sleeping bag, immediately holding his head in his hands, "What?! Where's the fire?!"
Michael joined him, but he took a tentative look through his squinted eyes, "Liz! What the Hell?!"
Liz rolled her eyes as everyone slowly woke up. The only one who didn't seem to be hung over was Alex. Although, she did notice that Alex was smiling happily. She'd have to ask him what that was about later.
Isabel yawned and looked around, suddenly realizing that they were missing someone, "Where's Max?" She suddenly looked panicked, "Didn't you say that he came with you last night, Kyle?"
Kyle looked sheepish, "Well, yeah, I took him to the party…"
"You… he went?" Michael asked, completely baffled.
"Yeah," Kyle admitted slowly, "But after a few minutes, he disappeared. Couldn't find him anywhere." He didn't need to add that Kyle drinking had made it much more easier for Max to lose him.
"So, he left, right?" Michael looked around for confirmation.
Kyle shrugged, "I don't know. Liz went to go look for him, but I didn't hear from her after that."
Liz emerged from the kitchen, carefully placing a tray filled with glasses of water, aspirin, empty mugs and a pot of coffee. Everyone helped themselves to what they wanted. She continued the story from where Kyle left off, "Max accidentally got high last night."
That was easy. Like pulling off a band-aid.
"WHAT?!" Isabel shouted, her eyes bugging. She should have been there for Max. She never thought that he would turn to drugs to solve his problems… now he was going to become an addict and…
Liz cut her off, calmly explaining the situation and most of the events that had occurred until the moment she arrived here. She left out some of the finger details, like what Max had specifically said to her and him sleeping in her bed. She shrugged, "When I woke up… he was there for a minute. He looked like a deer in headlights. But he took off. I'm going to call him in a few minutes, see if he got back to Michael's okay."
Tess shook her head, "I can't believe we all got so smashed last night."
"I only had like… one shot." Isabel groaned.
Michael eyed her, "Me too."
"Lightweights." Kyle chuckled.
Michael and Isabel exchanged meaningful looks. While they had both been to parties before, neither had actually had anything to drink until last night. They were slowly coming to realize that they probably shouldn't have anything else to drink for a long, long time… if ever.
Liz nodded, also thinking very deeply about Michael and Isabel's newest development. Maybe Max hadn't been in that closet for as long as he thought… She looked at Isabel, "I'll be right back."
She left the apartment and stood in the hallway, dialing the numbers to Michael's house. She waited while it rang, hoping that Max actually went back to the house. Now that she thought about it, it seemed more and more unlikely.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Mrs. Evans? This is Liz Parker."
"Jeff and Nancy's Daughter?"
Liz smiled, "That's right. How are you?"
"I'm fine. How're you?"
"Fine, thanks." Liz replied, "I was wondering if I could speak with Max."
"Sure!" Liz could head the woman's excitement predominantly. There was a slight pause because Liz heard his questioning, timid voice, " Hello?"
Liz took a deep breath, "Hey, Max. It's Liz."
She could almost sense his reservation. Not with disappointment, though, with something else. Something that she couldn't quite put her finger on. She shook it off, "Why did you leave this morning?"
"We can't talk about this on the phone." The tone of his voice told Liz that he didn't want to talk about it at all.
"Well, will you go over to Isabel's? Everyone's there, but they're so hung over… and I've got to go to work…" She lied blatantly, "And then I can meet you over there around lunch time so we can… talk."
Max sighed, "Okay."
Liz couldn't' stop her smile, "Thanks so much."
They said goodbye and hung up, leaving Liz to ponder her actions. Had she done the right thing, tricking Max to come over?
She realized that she was second guessing herself a lot lately. But, she only wanted what was best for Max. She wanted him to heal. He couldn't do that if he was excluding himself.
Twenty minutes later, Liz opened the door after hearing someone knocking on it.
"Liz." Max stopped short when she let him into the apartment. He stumbled over his words, "I thought you had to go to work."
Liz shook her head, "Dad said I could have the day off."
"Oh." Max nodded. He stepped into the apartment, immediately smelling bacon, homemade waffles, toast, eggs and fresh coffee. He eyed her, "You've been busy."
He heard the sound of Tess's Super Nintendo, something that she had been able to maintain the quality of since she was a kid, coming from her bedroom. Liz smiled, "Isabel and Michael got over their hangovers pretty quickly. They reacted abnormally to the alcohol. I think Kyle's pretending to not have a headache just so he can keep up with Michael on Super Mario."
Max nodded silently, ignoring Liz's smile, and followed her into the kitchen. He awkwardly stood at the doorway and spoke hesitantly, "Did you… do you need any help?"
Liz shrugged, "I think everything's pretty much under control."
Max nodded and nervously placed his hands in his pockets, rocking from ball to heel on his feet, "I uh… I can't… I'm sorry. For last night."
Liz could practically feel his hesitance radiating off of him. She almost felt it in her bones.
Max had been dreading this talk, "I thought that I had gotten out of the closet quick enough, but apparently not."
Liz nodded, "I think that drugs and alcohol have a more potent effect on all of your brains."
Max nodded nonchalantly. He didn't want to force himself upon her. Before leaving the room, though, he looked back at her, "I want you to forget about anything that I said last night. I didn't mean any of it."
Liz stared into his eyes, mesmerized by them. She rarely got to experience their full beauty. She swore that she could see his tortured soul dancing around. She shook her head slowly, the shock of him staring at her eyes still hadn't worn off, "I think it's the most… open… you've ever been with me. How can I just forget it?"
"I lost control." He clenched his fists, furious with himself for letting it get so out of hand. I knew that everything I said was a mistake, but I still said it."
Liz looked at him kindly, "You can't blame yourself for wanting to go to a party like a normal kid."
"Yes," he groaned out, "I can! Because I am not normal. I'm not." He spoke sternly, leaving a sense of finality, "Someone made me realize that a long time ago."
"Max…" Liz started.
Max shook his head sternly, "No. You don't get to try to help me. You're too far in already." And he walked out of the kitchen.
Isabel entered the kitchen minutes after Max left, "Michael won't share his controller. Everyone's taking turns on the other one, and Kyle and Alex keep pitching a fit about it. They're so immature."
Liz shook her head, laughing. "Someone's got a case of only-child syndrome."
"Yeah, I guess." Isabel replied. She looked out into the living room and saw Max sitting alone on the couch, watching a marathon of some teen show that was cancelled a few years ago. She sighed heavily and turned to Liz, "So what happened last night?"
"You know what happened." Liz replied firmly, "I told you everything." Both spoke softly so as to not be accidentally overheard.
"He didn't… tell you anything?" Isabel grasped for straws.
Liz shrugged, "Not really."
"Oh." Isabel frowned. She pulled out a few glasses and placed milk and juice next to the coffee pot and the other foot that Liz was arranging buffet-style on the counter. Isabel turned back to Liz and watched as she set out plates and silverware, "Thank you."
"For what?" Liz asked, confused.
"For not leaving. You've stuck around so far and Max has let you in a little… it means a lot to me. And Michael." She smiled weakly at Liz.
Liz shrugged, "I'm doing it because I care and because I could never walk away from you guys." She smiled lightly.
"And because you like him." Isabel replied, knowingly, her eyebrows raise and a smirk on her face.
"Um… well…" Liz blushed.
"I don't think that's going to be easy for Max to accept." Isabel started lowly.
Liz nodded, "I know." She looked around the kitchen, making sure everything was set up, "Breakfast?"
"I'll go get everyone." Isabel replied.
Liz called after her, "And threaten to turn off the Nintendo if they don't come right now."
Seconds later, Liz heard Michael start to raise his voice. Isabel hadn't just threatened to unplug it, she actually had. And without warning, too. "Agh! Isabel! I was right in the middle of the level! Plug it back in!"
"Breakfast." She heard Isabel chirp happily.
Sounds of feet pounding on the floor were only broken by Michael shouting over his shoulder, "Plug it back in."
Liz watched as Isabel silently mocked Michael behind his back, all the way into the room. She looked around, seeing everyone but Max. One cue, he padded softly into the kitchen, his head down and his hands shoved into his pockets.
Liz spoke tentatively, "You hungry?"
Max shrugged, "I'm fine."
"I don't think so." She shook her head, "You look like you aren't getting enough to eat."
Embarrassment crossed Max's face as he remembered the awkward situation that he and Liz had been in this morning. It was silly, really, since she had seen him in a bathing suit. But he had been lying half-naked in a bed with her only minutes before that. And that was something he most certainly did not deserve. Just like he didn't deserve the way her eyes had looked at his torso. "I'm not hungry."
"You're not hungry or you don't want to eat for some crazy reason?" Liz replied bluntly.
"I'm not hungry." Max replied, less firmly this time. "I'll just wait and see what's left after everyone's gotten their fill."
Liz looked at the plates of food and then back at Max, "There's enough for everyone… you don't have to wait."
"But I should." He replied.
"Why?" Liz asked, realizing that the kitchen had slowly emptied, everyone now relocated to sitting around the television, eating.
Max shrugged, "Because. You told me to come over here to help out with everyone, not to eat their food."
"But there's plenty here." Liz retorted. She didn't want to tell him that she had tricked him into coming. That she had just wanted to make sure that he was alright after last night.
Max shrugged again. Liz frowned, crossing her arms, "Fine, then. I'm not hungry either."
"Yeah, you are." Max replied simply. His statement was reinforced as Liz's stomach growled.
Liz blushed, "Oh well. I'll wait to eat until you're ready to."
"Why?" Max scowled. "That's stupid."
"And nothing about what you're doing is stupid?" Liz retorted quickly. She looked him up and down, "You're not feeding yourself properly, you're barely sleeping… it's almost worse than how it was when you were living with…" She stopped herself from finishing the sentence, completely aware of how malignant she was being to even bring him up.
"Hank." Max replied dryly. He glared at her, speaking bitterly, "Well, maybe it is. At least when I was there, I had control over who knew my secrets. Now I've got nothing."
He walked into the living room and grabbed his coat from the couch. Liz watched, paralyzed as Max said goodbye to everyone, whispered lowly to Isabel with a protective look to his face and exited the apartment. That was not how she had meant things to go. Not at all.
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Later that night, Liz still wasn't ready to give up. Isabel and Alex, Tess and Kyle, and Maria and Michael were going out on a triple date, so Liz had decided to try to get Max to hang out with her.
She stood, poised on the stoop of the Evans home and counted to ten before knocking. She heard some feet shuffle towards the door and it opened to reveal Mrs. Evans.
"Hey, Mrs. Evans. Is Max here?" Liz asked shakily. She didn't know what, but she was nervous about coming.
Diane's face broke out into a smile, "Of course. He's in his room. How have you been, Liz?"
Liz shrugged, "Can't complain." She realized that Mrs. Evans was wearing a dark blue dress, "You're look nice. I hope I didn't come at a bad time…?"
"Not at all!" Diane reassured her. "Phillip and I have to go to his firm's annual Christmas party, we were just on our way out."
Phillip came around the corner into the entrance way, straightening his tie. He saw Liz and smiled, "How are you?"
"I'm fine, thanks." Liz replied, "I don't want to keep you two…"
"Oh, nonsense. You're fine." Diane waved it off. She pointed Liz in the right direction, "Max's room is up the stairs, last door on the right. Feel free to stay as long as you like, Phillip and I won't be back until later tonight."
Liz nodded, smiling, "Thanks so much. Have fun!"
Diane laughed, "Thanks." Phillip said his goodbye and the two left the house.
Liz walked slowly up the stairs, pretty positive that Max wasn't going to be happy to see her. She reached his door and knocked hesitantly.
"Come in." Max said from behind the closed door.
Liz entered slowly, her eyes immediately falling on him. He was sitting up in his bed, reading a novel. Which one, Liz wasn't sure. He stashed it out of her eyes before she could see the title. "L-Liz. What're you doing here?"
"Well…" Liz smiled, holding up her bag, "Everyone went out tonight, and so I figured that we could hang out."
"Liz…" Max started.
She continued, "I've got Wedding Crashers. We can just watch it, okay? We don't have to talk."
Max nodded, "Okay."
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Max glanced sideways to the sleeping girl that was currently lying on the opposite end of the couch. He almost felt guilty for what he had put her through recently. But it was necessary.
He hadn't been able to focus on the movie at all. Pictures had moved in front of his eyes, obscenities had been yelled, but he hadn't processed a single thing. He was far too deep in thought.
His thoughts didn't have anything to do with the angel next to him, either. They had to do with what Phillip Evans had told him just minutes before Liz had arrived.
Phillip had told Max that he was to be the lawyer running the prosecution in Hank's case. He was going to be running the entire thing. Max had tried to tell him that none of that was necessary, that he could just have a state employee do it so that Phillip wouldn't have to waste his time with a non-paying client, but Phillip would hear nothing of the sort.
That's when Phillip had delivered the next bit of information. Hank's Grand Jury Proceeding was going to happen next week, in order to determine if his case had enough evidence to go to trial. They had already put it off for far too long.
Max might have to attend, too.
He didn't know if he could encounter Hank. He didn't want to. He knew that he would probably have to be a witness in the trial (of which Phillip had told him was to occur early in the new year), but to see him this soon…
Chills ran down his spine each time he thought of it. Hank was the man who should have killed him. He should have been able to. But, for some reason, he hadn't been allowed to. A police force was called in and tax payers' money was wasted on Hank's imprisonment. He should have been treated as a hero for attempting to rid the world of filth like Max.
Max felt queasy. He didn't know what he was going to do with himself for the next week. The anticipation was going to be too treacherous.
And what if Hank's Grand Jury Proceeding didn't go according to plan? What if the jury decided that there wasn’t enough evidence? Would Hank come to dispose of Max for good?
That wouldn't be so bad. It would do civilization a favor. It would do Max a favor.
But there was always a chance that Hank would not go after Max. He could go after someone innocent… Isabel, Liz, Michael… He had seen them all. They were all in danger.
He looked once more at the girl sleeping a few feet away from him. She looked so vulnerable. She, apparently, trusted Max. Even more so than he trusted himself. She had continually told him that he was better than what Hank had made it seem like.
She couldn't be right, could she?
Had he allowed Hank, the only human that he had ever loathed, to pollute the way he thought for his entire life? It couldn't be true.
Max had only seen the truth. Liz Parker was merely a ray of sunshine that would eventually get blotted out by the dark clouds and become nothing more than a beautiful memory.
TBC...
Max woke slowly, trying to quench the disorientation in his head. He looked around the room carefully, his position remotely registering in his head. He was in Liz's room. He was in her bed. And she was lying next to him, sleeping peacefully. It was like she didn't care that they were sharing the same bed. It was like she didn't care that he was a monster.
As he became even more aware of his surroundings, he realized the position that he and Liz were in. Her hands lay under her head, lying over Max's naked chest. Her hair was sprawled out and with each breath he took, he could smell the faint strawberry smell that usually accompanied her. His hand was lying on the small of her back.
Max took a deep breath, trying to calm his breathing. The events of last night were fresh in his memory, but what was unclear to him was how he had allowed himself to let things get so out of control. He'd acted irresponsible before, times when Isabel had come close to being touched by Hank, and he had felt like shit because of it for weeks afterwards. This, in his mind, was no different from then. He had not only failed someone else, he had failed himself. He had broken his promise that he wouldn't allow anyone to see his vulnerability ever again. He'd shown her the true him. He'd gone as far as to tell her that he was afraid to be alone in the dark.
He tried to move out from under her without waking her, but by the time his feet hit the ground, he heard her mumbled his name, "Max?"
Knowing that she was already awake, Max hurriedly climbed out of the bed. He was looking around for his shirt when Liz's head poked up and their eyes caught one another's. For a second, they froze. No one moved and both hardly dared to breathe. Max closed his eyes, wishing that he could disappear. He needed to disappear.
When he opened his eyes, he realized that Liz's gaze had shifted down to his bare chest. Max self-consciously wrapped his arms around his torso, his eyes now looking around for his shirt faster than before.
He couldn't bring himself to look at Liz anymore. He had to find his shirt and leave. It was the only way that he would be able to salvage any piece of his mask. He moved into the hallway with refrain. When he had returned, his shirt was on his body. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.
Liz shook her head, urging him not to go. She sat up in her bed, looking at Max's eyes, even if they were looking at the floor.
Max's eyes remained on the floor and he slowly stepped towards the window. He stopped a foot short of the balcony and made to look back, but before his head turned enough to see Liz, he snapped it to look in front of him.
He was gone before Liz could process what had just happened. She groaned, falling back onto her bed with her arms outstretched. Was she wrong to have taken Max here last night? She hadn't had a key to Isabel's apartment, everyone was still at the party and it wouldn't have been a good idea to take a high Max to Diane and Phillip. She had had no options.
And was she wrong to have allowed him to sleep in her bed? Sure, it sounded bad… but they had been clothed, for the most part. Besides, he had been scared. He'd told her of his fear of the dark. She couldn't have denied him when he was being so open with her.
Liz reached towards the telephone next to her, picking it up and dialing Maria's number. She would have to wait a few minutes to call Max, give him enough time to get home.
"Liz? What're you doing? It's like… ten in the morning. I've got the headache from Hell…"
From behind the phone's mask, she heard Tess grumble, "Maria! Shh!"
A collective groan from the people around her joined the protests.
Liz shook her head, even though Maria couldn't see it, "All of you are at Isabel's?"
Maria grunted in response and hung up the phone.
Liz sighed and hung up the phone. After a quick shower and a look at the clock to see if it was too early to call the Evans home, she headed off to Isabel's house.
Liz rolled her eyes at the mass of people sleeping in the middle of the living room. She walked over to the window, took a look back at them and threw the curtains open. She winced as she did so, knowing how sensitive everyone's eyesight was bound to be, but she had to get them up if they were going to call their parents and check in.
Kyle shot up from his sleeping bag, immediately holding his head in his hands, "What?! Where's the fire?!"
Michael joined him, but he took a tentative look through his squinted eyes, "Liz! What the Hell?!"
Liz rolled her eyes as everyone slowly woke up. The only one who didn't seem to be hung over was Alex. Although, she did notice that Alex was smiling happily. She'd have to ask him what that was about later.
Isabel yawned and looked around, suddenly realizing that they were missing someone, "Where's Max?" She suddenly looked panicked, "Didn't you say that he came with you last night, Kyle?"
Kyle looked sheepish, "Well, yeah, I took him to the party…"
"You… he went?" Michael asked, completely baffled.
"Yeah," Kyle admitted slowly, "But after a few minutes, he disappeared. Couldn't find him anywhere." He didn't need to add that Kyle drinking had made it much more easier for Max to lose him.
"So, he left, right?" Michael looked around for confirmation.
Kyle shrugged, "I don't know. Liz went to go look for him, but I didn't hear from her after that."
Liz emerged from the kitchen, carefully placing a tray filled with glasses of water, aspirin, empty mugs and a pot of coffee. Everyone helped themselves to what they wanted. She continued the story from where Kyle left off, "Max accidentally got high last night."
That was easy. Like pulling off a band-aid.
"WHAT?!" Isabel shouted, her eyes bugging. She should have been there for Max. She never thought that he would turn to drugs to solve his problems… now he was going to become an addict and…
Liz cut her off, calmly explaining the situation and most of the events that had occurred until the moment she arrived here. She left out some of the finger details, like what Max had specifically said to her and him sleeping in her bed. She shrugged, "When I woke up… he was there for a minute. He looked like a deer in headlights. But he took off. I'm going to call him in a few minutes, see if he got back to Michael's okay."
Tess shook her head, "I can't believe we all got so smashed last night."
"I only had like… one shot." Isabel groaned.
Michael eyed her, "Me too."
"Lightweights." Kyle chuckled.
Michael and Isabel exchanged meaningful looks. While they had both been to parties before, neither had actually had anything to drink until last night. They were slowly coming to realize that they probably shouldn't have anything else to drink for a long, long time… if ever.
Liz nodded, also thinking very deeply about Michael and Isabel's newest development. Maybe Max hadn't been in that closet for as long as he thought… She looked at Isabel, "I'll be right back."
She left the apartment and stood in the hallway, dialing the numbers to Michael's house. She waited while it rang, hoping that Max actually went back to the house. Now that she thought about it, it seemed more and more unlikely.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Mrs. Evans? This is Liz Parker."
"Jeff and Nancy's Daughter?"
Liz smiled, "That's right. How are you?"
"I'm fine. How're you?"
"Fine, thanks." Liz replied, "I was wondering if I could speak with Max."
"Sure!" Liz could head the woman's excitement predominantly. There was a slight pause because Liz heard his questioning, timid voice, " Hello?"
Liz took a deep breath, "Hey, Max. It's Liz."
She could almost sense his reservation. Not with disappointment, though, with something else. Something that she couldn't quite put her finger on. She shook it off, "Why did you leave this morning?"
"We can't talk about this on the phone." The tone of his voice told Liz that he didn't want to talk about it at all.
"Well, will you go over to Isabel's? Everyone's there, but they're so hung over… and I've got to go to work…" She lied blatantly, "And then I can meet you over there around lunch time so we can… talk."
Max sighed, "Okay."
Liz couldn't' stop her smile, "Thanks so much."
They said goodbye and hung up, leaving Liz to ponder her actions. Had she done the right thing, tricking Max to come over?
She realized that she was second guessing herself a lot lately. But, she only wanted what was best for Max. She wanted him to heal. He couldn't do that if he was excluding himself.
Twenty minutes later, Liz opened the door after hearing someone knocking on it.
"Liz." Max stopped short when she let him into the apartment. He stumbled over his words, "I thought you had to go to work."
Liz shook her head, "Dad said I could have the day off."
"Oh." Max nodded. He stepped into the apartment, immediately smelling bacon, homemade waffles, toast, eggs and fresh coffee. He eyed her, "You've been busy."
He heard the sound of Tess's Super Nintendo, something that she had been able to maintain the quality of since she was a kid, coming from her bedroom. Liz smiled, "Isabel and Michael got over their hangovers pretty quickly. They reacted abnormally to the alcohol. I think Kyle's pretending to not have a headache just so he can keep up with Michael on Super Mario."
Max nodded silently, ignoring Liz's smile, and followed her into the kitchen. He awkwardly stood at the doorway and spoke hesitantly, "Did you… do you need any help?"
Liz shrugged, "I think everything's pretty much under control."
Max nodded and nervously placed his hands in his pockets, rocking from ball to heel on his feet, "I uh… I can't… I'm sorry. For last night."
Liz could practically feel his hesitance radiating off of him. She almost felt it in her bones.
Max had been dreading this talk, "I thought that I had gotten out of the closet quick enough, but apparently not."
Liz nodded, "I think that drugs and alcohol have a more potent effect on all of your brains."
Max nodded nonchalantly. He didn't want to force himself upon her. Before leaving the room, though, he looked back at her, "I want you to forget about anything that I said last night. I didn't mean any of it."
Liz stared into his eyes, mesmerized by them. She rarely got to experience their full beauty. She swore that she could see his tortured soul dancing around. She shook her head slowly, the shock of him staring at her eyes still hadn't worn off, "I think it's the most… open… you've ever been with me. How can I just forget it?"
"I lost control." He clenched his fists, furious with himself for letting it get so out of hand. I knew that everything I said was a mistake, but I still said it."
Liz looked at him kindly, "You can't blame yourself for wanting to go to a party like a normal kid."
"Yes," he groaned out, "I can! Because I am not normal. I'm not." He spoke sternly, leaving a sense of finality, "Someone made me realize that a long time ago."
"Max…" Liz started.
Max shook his head sternly, "No. You don't get to try to help me. You're too far in already." And he walked out of the kitchen.
Isabel entered the kitchen minutes after Max left, "Michael won't share his controller. Everyone's taking turns on the other one, and Kyle and Alex keep pitching a fit about it. They're so immature."
Liz shook her head, laughing. "Someone's got a case of only-child syndrome."
"Yeah, I guess." Isabel replied. She looked out into the living room and saw Max sitting alone on the couch, watching a marathon of some teen show that was cancelled a few years ago. She sighed heavily and turned to Liz, "So what happened last night?"
"You know what happened." Liz replied firmly, "I told you everything." Both spoke softly so as to not be accidentally overheard.
"He didn't… tell you anything?" Isabel grasped for straws.
Liz shrugged, "Not really."
"Oh." Isabel frowned. She pulled out a few glasses and placed milk and juice next to the coffee pot and the other foot that Liz was arranging buffet-style on the counter. Isabel turned back to Liz and watched as she set out plates and silverware, "Thank you."
"For what?" Liz asked, confused.
"For not leaving. You've stuck around so far and Max has let you in a little… it means a lot to me. And Michael." She smiled weakly at Liz.
Liz shrugged, "I'm doing it because I care and because I could never walk away from you guys." She smiled lightly.
"And because you like him." Isabel replied, knowingly, her eyebrows raise and a smirk on her face.
"Um… well…" Liz blushed.
"I don't think that's going to be easy for Max to accept." Isabel started lowly.
Liz nodded, "I know." She looked around the kitchen, making sure everything was set up, "Breakfast?"
"I'll go get everyone." Isabel replied.
Liz called after her, "And threaten to turn off the Nintendo if they don't come right now."
Seconds later, Liz heard Michael start to raise his voice. Isabel hadn't just threatened to unplug it, she actually had. And without warning, too. "Agh! Isabel! I was right in the middle of the level! Plug it back in!"
"Breakfast." She heard Isabel chirp happily.
Sounds of feet pounding on the floor were only broken by Michael shouting over his shoulder, "Plug it back in."
Liz watched as Isabel silently mocked Michael behind his back, all the way into the room. She looked around, seeing everyone but Max. One cue, he padded softly into the kitchen, his head down and his hands shoved into his pockets.
Liz spoke tentatively, "You hungry?"
Max shrugged, "I'm fine."
"I don't think so." She shook her head, "You look like you aren't getting enough to eat."
Embarrassment crossed Max's face as he remembered the awkward situation that he and Liz had been in this morning. It was silly, really, since she had seen him in a bathing suit. But he had been lying half-naked in a bed with her only minutes before that. And that was something he most certainly did not deserve. Just like he didn't deserve the way her eyes had looked at his torso. "I'm not hungry."
"You're not hungry or you don't want to eat for some crazy reason?" Liz replied bluntly.
"I'm not hungry." Max replied, less firmly this time. "I'll just wait and see what's left after everyone's gotten their fill."
Liz looked at the plates of food and then back at Max, "There's enough for everyone… you don't have to wait."
"But I should." He replied.
"Why?" Liz asked, realizing that the kitchen had slowly emptied, everyone now relocated to sitting around the television, eating.
Max shrugged, "Because. You told me to come over here to help out with everyone, not to eat their food."
"But there's plenty here." Liz retorted. She didn't want to tell him that she had tricked him into coming. That she had just wanted to make sure that he was alright after last night.
Max shrugged again. Liz frowned, crossing her arms, "Fine, then. I'm not hungry either."
"Yeah, you are." Max replied simply. His statement was reinforced as Liz's stomach growled.
Liz blushed, "Oh well. I'll wait to eat until you're ready to."
"Why?" Max scowled. "That's stupid."
"And nothing about what you're doing is stupid?" Liz retorted quickly. She looked him up and down, "You're not feeding yourself properly, you're barely sleeping… it's almost worse than how it was when you were living with…" She stopped herself from finishing the sentence, completely aware of how malignant she was being to even bring him up.
"Hank." Max replied dryly. He glared at her, speaking bitterly, "Well, maybe it is. At least when I was there, I had control over who knew my secrets. Now I've got nothing."
He walked into the living room and grabbed his coat from the couch. Liz watched, paralyzed as Max said goodbye to everyone, whispered lowly to Isabel with a protective look to his face and exited the apartment. That was not how she had meant things to go. Not at all.
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Later that night, Liz still wasn't ready to give up. Isabel and Alex, Tess and Kyle, and Maria and Michael were going out on a triple date, so Liz had decided to try to get Max to hang out with her.
She stood, poised on the stoop of the Evans home and counted to ten before knocking. She heard some feet shuffle towards the door and it opened to reveal Mrs. Evans.
"Hey, Mrs. Evans. Is Max here?" Liz asked shakily. She didn't know what, but she was nervous about coming.
Diane's face broke out into a smile, "Of course. He's in his room. How have you been, Liz?"
Liz shrugged, "Can't complain." She realized that Mrs. Evans was wearing a dark blue dress, "You're look nice. I hope I didn't come at a bad time…?"
"Not at all!" Diane reassured her. "Phillip and I have to go to his firm's annual Christmas party, we were just on our way out."
Phillip came around the corner into the entrance way, straightening his tie. He saw Liz and smiled, "How are you?"
"I'm fine, thanks." Liz replied, "I don't want to keep you two…"
"Oh, nonsense. You're fine." Diane waved it off. She pointed Liz in the right direction, "Max's room is up the stairs, last door on the right. Feel free to stay as long as you like, Phillip and I won't be back until later tonight."
Liz nodded, smiling, "Thanks so much. Have fun!"
Diane laughed, "Thanks." Phillip said his goodbye and the two left the house.
Liz walked slowly up the stairs, pretty positive that Max wasn't going to be happy to see her. She reached his door and knocked hesitantly.
"Come in." Max said from behind the closed door.
Liz entered slowly, her eyes immediately falling on him. He was sitting up in his bed, reading a novel. Which one, Liz wasn't sure. He stashed it out of her eyes before she could see the title. "L-Liz. What're you doing here?"
"Well…" Liz smiled, holding up her bag, "Everyone went out tonight, and so I figured that we could hang out."
"Liz…" Max started.
She continued, "I've got Wedding Crashers. We can just watch it, okay? We don't have to talk."
Max nodded, "Okay."
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Max glanced sideways to the sleeping girl that was currently lying on the opposite end of the couch. He almost felt guilty for what he had put her through recently. But it was necessary.
He hadn't been able to focus on the movie at all. Pictures had moved in front of his eyes, obscenities had been yelled, but he hadn't processed a single thing. He was far too deep in thought.
His thoughts didn't have anything to do with the angel next to him, either. They had to do with what Phillip Evans had told him just minutes before Liz had arrived.
Phillip had told Max that he was to be the lawyer running the prosecution in Hank's case. He was going to be running the entire thing. Max had tried to tell him that none of that was necessary, that he could just have a state employee do it so that Phillip wouldn't have to waste his time with a non-paying client, but Phillip would hear nothing of the sort.
That's when Phillip had delivered the next bit of information. Hank's Grand Jury Proceeding was going to happen next week, in order to determine if his case had enough evidence to go to trial. They had already put it off for far too long.
Max might have to attend, too.
He didn't know if he could encounter Hank. He didn't want to. He knew that he would probably have to be a witness in the trial (of which Phillip had told him was to occur early in the new year), but to see him this soon…
Chills ran down his spine each time he thought of it. Hank was the man who should have killed him. He should have been able to. But, for some reason, he hadn't been allowed to. A police force was called in and tax payers' money was wasted on Hank's imprisonment. He should have been treated as a hero for attempting to rid the world of filth like Max.
Max felt queasy. He didn't know what he was going to do with himself for the next week. The anticipation was going to be too treacherous.
And what if Hank's Grand Jury Proceeding didn't go according to plan? What if the jury decided that there wasn’t enough evidence? Would Hank come to dispose of Max for good?
That wouldn't be so bad. It would do civilization a favor. It would do Max a favor.
But there was always a chance that Hank would not go after Max. He could go after someone innocent… Isabel, Liz, Michael… He had seen them all. They were all in danger.
He looked once more at the girl sleeping a few feet away from him. She looked so vulnerable. She, apparently, trusted Max. Even more so than he trusted himself. She had continually told him that he was better than what Hank had made it seem like.
She couldn't be right, could she?
Had he allowed Hank, the only human that he had ever loathed, to pollute the way he thought for his entire life? It couldn't be true.
Max had only seen the truth. Liz Parker was merely a ray of sunshine that would eventually get blotted out by the dark clouds and become nothing more than a beautiful memory.
TBC...
Last edited by sprayadhesive on Wed Jan 24, 2007 4:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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sprayadhesive
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 187
- Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:19 pm
- Location: Georgia
The last bit's graphic.
Part 22
As Max walked down Main Street on his way back to Michael’s after work, he tried his hardest to ignore the holiday shoppers bustling around him and the glowing snowflakes that had somehow found their way onto the streetlights during the middle of the night.
Max didn’t hate the holiday season, but he didn’t like it, either. He held a certain apathetic relationship with December – it didn’t bother him, he didn’t bother with it. And while he sometimes yearned for the normalcy of tradition and family gatherings, he had learned that he just wasn’t meant for them.
Hank’s grand jury proceeding had gone as well as Phillip had hoped, much to Max’s dismay. Not one of thirty people had ruled that there wasn’t enough evidence. Hank hadn’t been there – presence of a defendant is strictly forbidden (a notion that had somehow avoided Max until the day of the proceeding). Max had been so ashamed to sit in front of the people and tell them what he had endured. He was forced to admit his failure as a person, failure to protect Isabel and keep her life normal, failure to recognize Hank for what he was at the orphanage, and failure to provide a consistency for Isabel’s life. The pity in the eyes of all of the strangers was almost suffocating. And, knowing that Isabel, Michael and Liz would all be forced to sit through the same scrutiny after him and report on what a failure Max was, it killed him. He didn’t want any more of their time wasted on his pathetic excuse for a life. None if this was worth it, anyway. Max deserved what he got. He was a failure. Hank had just let him see that. But, in the end, it was clear that the trial would be taking place sometime in January. A whole month for Max to dread and fear with every fiber of his being.
Even with the chaos at the beginning of the month, life had continued in Roswell. The end of the month got closer, and the festivities became more and more dense. Charities were holding countless fundraisers, churches were rehearsing their annual Christmas plays and students could be seen at the local soup kitchen, trying to spread some holiday cheer. And, in true Isabel form, Isabel had buried herself in these activities. In years previous, she had worked mostly backstage and behind the scenes, fearing that Hank would possibly surface from underneath his drunken haze and make a scene during one of her activities. Now that he was locked away, Isabel didn’t have to worry about it. She was free to do whatever she wished.
Max continued his walk back, a flimsy jacket the only thing protecting him from the harsh winter air. Diane would probably have a fit about it when he got home – she insisted that one day he was going to catch pneumonia. At least he had a black beanie pulled down over his ears.
He had fought her, Phillip and Milton to go back to work earlier this month, too. He needed the income. He put up a good fight and had won.
Isabel, Liz and everyone else hadn’t been happy with his decision to return to work, either. All week, they had thrown him disproving looks. But, they didn’t understand. He needed the income. Milton’s checks were now his only form of support. He didn’t want to leech off of Phillip and Diane forever. He already felt guilty about it.
Isabel had recently taken a job at a small coffee shop a block over from her apartment building. Max wasn’t happy about it at first, but there was nothing he could do. Isabel was an adult. He couldn’t shelter her any longer.
He shoved his hands down, digging them into his pockets. All of his Christmas shopping had already been completed. Something for everyone he talked to had been purchased and was locked away in a closet at Isabel’s apartment. His present for Isabel was under his mattress at Michael’s.
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. Max intended on being there for Isabel. If she wanted a quasi-normal holiday, he would appease her. Even if his heart wouldn’t be into it.
He reached the house faster than he could have imagined, opening the door with his cold, raw hands. He prayed that he would be able to get up to his room without being detected by Diane.
No such luck, though. As his foot touched the bottom stair, Diane’s voice reached his ears, “Maxwell Guerin, what were you thinking when you got dressed this morning?”
He turned around, finding Diane right behind him. He gave her a weak, humorous, forced smile and then pointed to his beanie, “I wore a hat?”
“Look at your hands! Why didn’t you bring gloves? And what happened to wearing a heavier jacket? I thought we talked about this yesterday!” She reprimanded him, pointing towards the kitchen, “Come on. In you go. I’m going to make you a cup of hot chocolate. It must be twenty five degrees outside with the wind chill! WHAT you were thinking…”
He followed her obediently, his demeanor rivaling that of a puppy with its tail between its legs. Diane had been watching him like a hawk lately. She was intent on making sure that he was keeping up with his wellbeing. Max had a hunch that Liz had told Diane her concern about his habits.
“I just figured that it wouldn’t be that long of a walk…” Max protested feebly, already seated at the kitchen table.
Diane placed a cup in the microwave and then turned around, looking at him with her eyebrows raised, “It’s a twenty minute walk! And you keep refusing to let anyone drive you to work…”
She rambled on for a few minutes. Max’s eye glazed over, trying his best not to listen. That was the easiest way for everyone’s comments not to get to him. To just not listen. He’d listened to Liz far too much recently.
Diane placed the cup of hot chocolate down, signaling the end of her rant. Max took it in his hands and sipped at it while Diane took a seat across from him. She gave him a sad smile, “You know, Michael’s much more fun to nag. He always gives me lip when I do it.”
Max shrugged. Michael never liked to be criticized.
“Are you sure that you and Isabel don’t want to come over here for Christmas? We’ve always got room for you two…” Diane offered, for what seemed like was the hundredth time that week.
Tess was going to be at the Valenti’s for Christmas, but Max and Isabel had opted to stay at the apartment to celebrate. They were going to go over to the Evans’s for dinner, but other than that, they were on their own.
Actually, Max had begged Isabel to stay at the apartment. He hated feeling like he was imposing on the family – especially during the holidays.
Max nodded, “Yeah, but thanks again for the offer.”
He had been avoiding family dinners lately, always pretending to be asleep when Diane would come and see why he didn’t come down for dinner. Even when Michael, Phillip and Diane were in the family room watching television together, he would promptly excuse himself. It was enough that he was taking over a room of their house.
Diane looked slightly put-out, so Max decided to finish the entire mug of hot chocolate. Normally, he would only drink about half. He placed the empty cup on the table and Diane immediately swept it up, “Do you want some more?”
“No, thanks.” Max responded softly. “I think I’m going to go upstairs and take a nap.”
This comment made Diane absolutely beam. The bags under Max’s eyes had grown more prominent lately. This, the fact that a five o’clock shadow was now almost always present on his face, and the way he was no longer keeping up with his appearance had Diane constantly worrying about him.
Max made his way up into his room, locking the door behind him. He crossed the room and crouched down, reaching for something under his bed. When he felt it enclosed in his hand, he smiled in bittersweet satisfaction and sat upon his bed.
The blade glinted happily in the sunlight that passed through the window. With each passing day, it was much more appealing to him. He didn’t know if he would be able to resist its charm for much longer.
When things would get too normal, he would come up here and sit with the knife. It was just a simple little thing, a steak knife that he had taken from one of the drawers downstairs. No one missed it.
He hadn’t actually cut himself, not yet. But he would sit here with it, the piercing metal pressing against his skin. And this was exactly what he was doing now. He wanted to perform the act, feel the blood drip down his skin, endure the pain that he should be feeling, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it yet. Not before Christmas. He would feel too guilty around Isabel, knowing that he was prepared to leave the world when she was just beginning to enter it.
No, he wouldn’t do it today. After Christmas… maybe even on Christmas. Yes, that was it. The feeling of his own blood dripping down his wrists would be his Christmas present to himself.
He sighed deeply, the weight of the promise resting on his shoulders. Of course, he wouldn’t be completely fulfilling his desires – a death date on Christmas would kill Isabel’s spirit – but he would appease his hunger.
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Max was aware of the way people would watch him while he wasn’t looking. They thought that if they looked hard enough, they would see the pain that they all thought should be present.
That was why he was glad that the group had decided to meet at the Crashdown after hours on Christmas Eve to exchange gifts. He wouldn’t have to see the stares of the community.
The Parkers had placed a small Christmas tree in the far corner of the café. When Max walked in, he was accosted by Maria and told to place all of his gifts under the tree with the others. A round of greetings floated to his ears.
Liz had a bowl of eggnog on the counter with a tray of Christmas cookies next to it. White Christmas lights were twinkling, lining the countertop and where the walls met the ceiling. Max hadn’t seen the Crashdown decorated like this since last Christmas. He had avoided the Crashdown lately.
After he placed his gifts down, he took a seat at one of the tables that were still available to sit in. Everyone else was already there, talking animatedly with each other. Max hadn’t completely separated himself from the group – he had sat in a table not far from the booth they were all in.
He was staring passively at the salt shaker when Michael sat in a chair next to him, “Maxwell.”
Max nodded to him in recognition.
Michael didn’t say anything, understanding Max’s need to be left alone. Michael had gone through it a lot, especially when he had first been adopted. It was torturous for him to sit in a house when he knew that his companions were lost somewhere, scared.
Liz joined them next, sitting across from Max. She cleared her throat, getting Max to at least blink, “Are you going to midnight mass tonight, Max?”
Max shook his head. It was a common question these days. “I don’t believe in God.”
“So you’re just going to stay at Isabel’s until she gets back?” Liz pried. She hated leaving Max alone. It scared her. He was still too unpredictable for her liking. She needed to know that he was going to be protected… from himself.
Max nodded slowly.
“Oh, okay.” Liz replied, biting her lip. The thought of him being left alone on the night before Christmas was leaving a bad taste in her mouth.
The bridge between the two tables slowly disintegrated. Conversations were being held between the two tables. Max partook in none of them. He remained quiet, a silent observer to the insanity of the group.
After about an hour, Maria couldn’t control herself any longer. She distributed the presents under the tree to the people they were labeled for and then sat down, looking greedily upon her own.
Max was shocked when Maria had placed a stack of presents in front of him. He couldn’t think of why someone would want to get him a present for Christmas. The best thing that he’d ever gotten from Hank was a can of beer when he was ten. A grand gesture, certainly.
Liz was halfway through opening her presents when she looked up and realized that Max hadn’t opened a single thing, “Max?”
He looked up at her, stopping his line of vision once it reached her chin, “Yeah?”
“Are you going to open your presents?”
“I uh…” He moved his gaze back onto the festively wrapped presents, “I just…”
“Open them.” Liz replied firmly.
Max nodded his head and complied, slowly opening each present: a thirty dollar gift card to the local music store from Kyle and Tess, the new Beck CD from Alex, Talladega Nights from Maria, and a hockey jersey from Michael.
Both Max and Liz had unconsciously held on to their presents for the other person. After the round of ‘thank you’s was exchanged, Max and Liz shared a nod. They excused themselves to the backroom.
Max should have known better. He should have just given Liz her present earlier, because now, in this room, they were alone. He was open for her every scrutiny.
Liz made the first move, holding her package out to him and clearing her throat to grab his attention. Max’s haunted eyes moved to her hand and held out his package, mocking her actions.
They took their presents at the same time.
They both sat on the couch, unaware that the other was doing the same. Max opened his present slowly. When the wrapping paper fell to the ground, he gasped softly.
He ran has finger down the spine of each book, completely numb. He had never owned a book. Everything he ever read was from the library.
Chills were running up and down his spine. He couldn’t believe it. He owned a book. And not just one book, three of them. In his mind, it was practically a library. He read the titles in his head, drawing them out and soaking in the reality of the situation: he owned books.
Next to him, Liz was having the same reaction. She had pulled open her small box and a dainty silver bracelet adorned with a delicate, silver letter ‘E’ fell into her hand. She couldn’t believe it. She had passed the bracelet countless times in one of the windows at the mall, always wanting it to be hers.
She didn’t know how Max knew. She posed the question to him and he shrugged, his voice merely a whisper, “It felt right.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, captured by the perfection of their gifts. Max broke the silence, the comfortable situation making him feel unworthy, “Liz… I… I can’t even…” He looked down at the books in his hands, “Thank you.”
Liz was at the same loss of words. She laughed nervously, “Ditto.”
They were slowly gravitating towards one another, shifting their positions on the couch so they could sit a little closer. Their mouths drew nearer and nearer. When their lips were about a centimeter apart, though, Max jumped off of the couch like he had been shocked. “I… I’m sorry. I can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He stood in the opposite corner of the backroom, effectively placing as much space between himself and Liz as possible. He gestured to the door, “I uh… I’ll just head back…”
Liz nodded and Max exited the room swiftly, his books tucked at his side. The occupants of the Crashdown had now started dancing to Christmas songs. Max sat at the counter, watching them, but not really seeing them. He wished that he could feel. The only emotions he had been registering lately revolved around anger and loneliness. He felt so empty that it hurt. He could tell that he was slowly becoming numb from the lack of compassion.
It was another reason that he was so ready to employ his knife. To make himself feel something different for a change.
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Christmas morning with Isabel passed by rather smoothly. They watched festive movies, opened their presents from each other and Max even went as far as to help Isabel make some cookies to bring over to the Evans’s house.
They walked over to the Evans home together, the crisp air refreshing, even for them. Max realized slowly that he had his light jacket on again. It was around twenty degrees outside. He looked next to him, where Isabel was walking with her pea coat on, still shivering. Max removed his beanie and placed it on her head. She could fix her hair with her powers later.
Isabel didn’t really process what he was doing until she felt his jacket over her shoulders. She stopped walking abruptly, staring at him incredulously, “Are you crazy?!”
He walked forward a few feet, pretending not to hear her. He had on a long sleeved dress shirt and a pair of black slacks. At least it wasn’t a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. He turned around, “Come on.”
Isabel started taking his jacket off, “Max, it’s freezing outside. You’re not going to walk around with no coat on.”
“Put that back on.” He replied stubbornly, “I’m not going to wear it. You’re just punishing yourself, really.”
When Isabel caught up to him, Max took the plate of cookies and the presents for Michael’s family out of her hands. Isabel stopped walking again, completely exasperated, “Max!”
“What?” He replied warily. “Is it too much for you if I try to be a good brother?”
“This isn’t being a good brother. This is being suicidal.” Isabel shot back, seething. She hated the way that he took everything upon himself. He wasn’t going to survive for long this way. He already had his bags from last night; he didn’t need to worry about the cookies and the presents, too.
Max ignored her and started walking again. Within seconds, Isabel was following him.
They reached the Evans’s without further conflict. On the doorstep, Isabel removed the beanie and fixed her hair. When Max went to take it back, she raised an eyebrow, “Don’t want Diane worrying? Too bad.”
Max spoke lowly, “Please. She’ll start to fuss…”
The door opened before either could say another word. Phillip smiled to them, “Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!” Isabel called back.
Max responded less enthusiastically, “Merry Christmas.”
Diane bustled into the room, wiping her hands on her apron. She smiled broadly, “Merry Christmas!”
Max and Isabel responded in the same way as before. Diane told Phillip to take Isabel’s coat, commented on how lovely she looked, and then turned to Max. She frowned immediately, “Where is your coat? Your hat?”
She took his hands in hers, not waiting for a reply. She paused as she gauged his temperature, “You’re freezing! You’re lucky you didn’t get frostbite!”
Max opened his mouth to retort, to tell her that Isabel had been cold so he gave her his outerwear, but Michael walked into the room. Christmas greetings were exchanged once more.
Diane shooed Max into the living room after ordering Michael to make sure that Max sat by the fire. Phillip left to join them a few seconds later.
Diane smiled weakly at Isabel, taking her hand and leading her into the kitchen, “He’s so difficult.”
“I know.” Isabel responded, smiling at the sight of the kitchen. Diane looked like she was halfway through preparing the green beans, a ham was in the oven, and potatoes were half peeled on the counter. In her opinion, it was exactly what a functioning kitchen should look like. She smiled to Diane, “How can I help?”
“Hmm…” Diane looked around, “Would you mind finishing peeling the potatoes? I’ll get the green beans done and then maybe we can eat sometime in the next hour.” She gave Isabel a wink, “I tried to get Michael to help me earlier, but he ran off in the other direction before I even said a second word.”
Isabel laughed, “He’s just afraid of looking too much like a girl.”
Diane chuckled. She whispered to Isabel, a faint smile still playing on her lips, “Phillip thought Michael was gay. He was ecstatic when Michael brought home Maria. Not that Phillip doesn’t like homosexuals… he just was hoping that he could still watch those silly playmates on that Girls Next Door show with Michael under the pretense that he’s making sure that it doesn’t get too raunchy for a sixteen year old.”
“Don’t tell Maria.” Isabel laughed, “She’s against the exploitation of women.”
“I always like to say that ‘if you got it, flaunt it.’” Diane quoted, making Isabel laugh even more. Isabel liked this. She had grown to see Diane as a motherly figure in the past couple of months. She felt like she belonged here with this family.
Diane had really been a support for Isabel while Max was in the hospital. Isabel had felt so lost, but Diane was there like any good mother, a shoulder for Isabel to cry on. Sure, Isabel had Alex and Michael, but it wasn’t the same as a mother’s comfort.
Diane had taken care of Isabel – feeding her and making sure that she slept. She would check in with Isabel every morning, even if she wasn’t at the hospital. She’d treated Isabel like her own daughter. She called her daily, even now, just to make sure that she was doing alright on her own.
Diane had one of the biggest hearts of any of the people that Isabel knew. Diane had even joked about Isabel being her surrogate daughter and Max being like another son. Phillip had often joked about it, too.
Isabel just wished that Max would let Phillip and Diane like she had. They both cared for him, she could see that, but Max couldn’t. He constantly made himself feel like an outsider. Diane had confided in Isabel, tell her that the way Max distanced himself from them made her want to break out in tears.
Phillip had come to Isabel, asking what they could do to encourage Max to let them in. Isabel didn’t have an answer for them. Max had never let anyone truly in. Not even her.
Dinner was ready in less than an hour, at which point Michael and Max came into the kitchen to set the table. Diane had been shocked, not calling either of them, but she had a sneaking suspicion that Max had persuaded Michael to help out. Michael had never done any chores voluntarily.
Once the food was laid on the table, they bowed their heads in prayer (Max keeping his mouth and mind firmly closed) and then Phillip began cutting the ham while everyone helped themselves to the food on the table.
They ate in a comfortable silence. Diane finished a bit of mashed potatoes and then looked to Max, smiling, “How was your Christmas?”
“Good, thanks.” He replied politely, keeping his eyes trained on his plate.
Diane pried further, “What did you do?”
Max couldn’t do this. He couldn’t pretend that he was like the Evans’s and sit here, making conversation about his day. He spent the day thinking about how he didn’t deserve to be celebrating any holiday, was that what Diane wanted to hear?
Isabel sensed his turmoil and cut in, “We watched a few Christmas movies… you know, Miracle on 34th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life, and the claymation Rudolph. I’m a diehard Christmas claymation fan. And then I baked cookies, Max helped a little, before we knew it, it was time to come over here.”
Phillip laughed, “Michael had us up at five a.m. to open presents.”
Michael groaned, “I did not! That was like… one time when I was eight! I wish we could drop that already.”
“Okay, honey.” Diane nodded, winking at Isabel. She waited until Michael was looking at his plate before mouthing, “It was seven a.m. this year.”
Isabel snorted into her plate. Michael’s head shot up, “What?” He looked to Max for some defense.
Max shrugged, his stoic demeanor still about him.
“What’d you get for Christmas, Mikey?” Isabel said in a teasing manner. Michael hated being called Mikey.
Michael ignored her ‘in the spirit of Christmas’ and responded, “Some clothes, some CDs, some DVDs, a Wii…”
“You got a Wii?” Isabel gawked, “Alex is going to flip. He said his parents looked everywhere for one of those…”
“I was ready to give up weeks ago.” Diane replied. “The only reason Michael got one was because Phillip wanted one, too. He got himself so worked up over it.”
Phillip laughed, defending himself feebly, “It was all for Michael.”
Diane nodded, “Which is why you played it for the entirety of Michael’s nap this afternoon.”
Michael frowned, “Why didn’t you wake me up? We could’ve played together.”
“Son, I’ve got to get control of the system before I can go up against you. You kids can pick up anything electronic and have it figured out in seconds. I come from a much more technologically challenged generation.”
The banter continued, each person telling at least two stories before dessert was served. Everyone, of course, except Max. They had tried to make him a part of the conversation, but each time he would brush it off, shifting the focus to someone else. He liked to think of himself as a master of avoidance.
Dessert comprised of Isabel’s cookies and tea. Diane brought in two wrapped packages, a small box for Isabel and a larger one for Max. She smiled, “Merry Christmas.”
Isabel jumped to her feet, “I almost forgot.” She ran from the room, grabbing the presents from where Max had left them in the living room and giving them out to Diane and Phillip. They had given Michael his presents last night.
Diane opened hers, revealing a gift set from Bath and Body Works. She smiled, thanking Max and Isabel. Max had overheard her telling Michael that she ran out of her lotion earlier that month.
Phillip received a nice set of wrenches that Isabel had somehow found out he’d been wanting for a while. She hinted to Max that she had found out in one of Phillip’s dreams.
Isabel was given a bottle of Vera Wang Princess fragrance, something that she had secretly wanted ever since taking a smell of a sample at the mall a few months ago. She looked up, completely amazed, “Wow… thank you so much. Wow.”
“Don’t mention it.” Diane brushed off her thanks. It was the least she could do. She felt like she owed Max and Isabel so much. She had failed them previously, now she needed to make up for it.
Max hadn’t opened his box, just watched as everyone else opened theirs. He realized that everyone was staring at him, waiting for him. He hesitantly reached forward, pulling open the paper. A clothing box was underneath. He opened the box and a leather jacket was revealed with a black wool beanie lying on top of it.
Diane smiled, “Now I won’t have to worry about you when you walk out of the house in your little cotton jacket.”
“Thank you.” Max replied, earnestly. For the second time in two days, he was completely awed that anyone would want to spend money on him. Leather jackets were expensive, he knew this much. He had already taken so much from Diane and Phillip… “You really shouldn’t have.” He still hadn’t taken the jacket out of the box.
“We wanted to.” Diane replied simply. She knew that Max thought he was a leech, she could tell by the way he acted around them. But, she wasn’t going to let that notion go by without trying to correct it. “Do you like it?”
“Yeah.” Max replied, his honesty unwavering.
Phillip laughed, “Now all you need is a motorcycle.”
Michael’s ears perked up, “I’m selling mine.”
“You are?” Max snapped his head towards Michael. A motorcycle. Michael’s wasn’t top of the line; it wouldn’t be completely out of Max’s price range. He would have to work a few extra shifts, but other than that, he could buy it from Michael. It would give him freedom.
The only downside of a motorcycle to any average person is that it’s dangerous. To Max, this feature was a blessing.
“Yeah, Maria doesn’t like it, and I’m starting to think that a lot of her arguments are right. Besides, I can’t keep borrowing my parents’ cars to take on our dates.” Michael shrugged. He had asked for a motorcycle during one of his more rebellious stages. He was winding down, now.
Isabel cut in, “Max, you don’t need a motorcycle.” She could tell that he was interested. But, she also knew that he wouldn’t help himself with one. If anything, he would use it to try and destroy himself.
Max gave Michael a look, telling him that they would talk about it later. Michael nodded.
Twenty minutes later, Phillip had offered Max his car to take Isabel home in. After a little persuasion, Max agreed. Isabel and Max rode in silence, the heater in the car purring softly.
They pulled into the parking lot and Isabel turned to Max, “Merry Christmas. I love you.”
Max cringed. He hated it when those words were directed towards him. He nodded, replying simply with a “Merry Christmas.” It wasn’t that he didn’t love Isabel, it was that he didn’t think that the words, coming from him, held any value. Who would care if he loved someone?
And then there was the notion that he maybe didn’t have the capacity to love anyone. He was worthless. A thing. Did things have emotions? He certainly didn’t. There was no place for love in him.
Isabel left the car and Max turned off the heat. The cold was something different for him. Something that made him feel pain when it got to be too much. A bitter feeling that reached his bones. It made him feel alive.
He reversed the car, his mind completely on the object under his mattress. He was set on it. He would feel the pain that he deserved.
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An hour later, Max locked the door behind him as he entered his room. Diane and Phillip had gone to bed. Michael was in his room, watching a movie. Max was alone.
He reached under his mattress, pulling out the coveted article. Tonight he would get to feel. He had waited so long for the right time.
Taking a perch upon the bed, Max used his powers to dim the lights around him, leaving what was left of the light to dance upon his skin. He pulled his shirt over his head. Tonight was about experimenting. He wanted to know the worst pain. He needed to know the pain. He deserved it. It was his to be had.
He would give it to himself.
His steady hand picked up the knife and brought it to his left wrist. He placed the blade over the skin, pausing for a brief second. The thought of Liz crossed his mind, wondering what she would do if she found out what he was doing tonight. He reminded himself, though, that it didn’t matter. He didn’t deserve her, anyway.
He applied pressure to the blade, already sensing a tingling of his skin. Without a second thought, he drew it back fast and angrily, wincing in pain. He looked down at the gashed wrist, a feeling of satisfaction washing over him. The blood ran from his veins, traveling down his arm and dripping onto the sheets that held him. He grabbed for his pillow is his other hand, taking a corner and placing it in his mouth.
Max switched the knife into his hand, gripping it as best he could, despite the pain. He repeated his previous action, in the same location as the other wrist. This time, he bit down on the pillow, fighting off his attempt to cry out.
A tear escaped his eye and something inside of him snapped. The fury that he had been feeling for years surfaced slightly. Why had he been condemned to a life of pain and lonliness? Why couldn’t he be normal?
The questions overcame him, fueling the anger that he directed towards himself. He hated himself. He despised himself. Angry tears cut down his cheeks. He always messed everything up. He was his own worst enemy. He was everyone’s worst enemy.
The rage overcame him, taking over his actions. He didn’t know what he was doing, it didn’t matter. He just had to let out the anger and the hate. It was all he could do.
Ten minutes later, the attack on his own body had ceased. He was shaking, the knife dropping to the floor, unnoticed by him. Max lifted himself off the bed, the angry tears dried, but the fresh blood still flowing. His feet padded softly on the ground, leaving footprints of blood in their wake.
He turned on the light, the switch becoming bloody from his touch. With a wary look, he gazed into the mirror. Gashes gleamed at him, a trail of them in integers of an inch all the way up both arms. He had somehow managed to create a gash from his eye to earlobe on his left cheek.
The thing that stood out most, though, was his chest. The word shone angrily, even though it wasn’t actually carved into his skin. Some piece of his mind was making him imagine it. Something else had taken him over for the last ten minutes, how was he to know the difference? Some piece of him that knew exactly what he deserved was telling him that the word was there:
<center>Freak</center>
He turned off the bathroom light, a drowning feeling capturing him. He was in over his head. He didn’t know how long he could keep living. He felt so lost. What he wouldn’t give for some comfort, a soothing word. But they weren’t meant to be. They would never be his. He was far too despicable for anyone to want to truly love him. He was unlovable. The words and comfort would never be his.
Max collapsed onto his bed. He would endure the pain for the night, clean up and then heal himself in the morning. It beat feeling empty. It beat what he had been feeling for years.
He pressed against one of the cuts on his arm with a finger, trying to distract his brain from the emptiness. Pain was such an easier thing for him to deal with.
TBC...
Part 22
As Max walked down Main Street on his way back to Michael’s after work, he tried his hardest to ignore the holiday shoppers bustling around him and the glowing snowflakes that had somehow found their way onto the streetlights during the middle of the night.
Max didn’t hate the holiday season, but he didn’t like it, either. He held a certain apathetic relationship with December – it didn’t bother him, he didn’t bother with it. And while he sometimes yearned for the normalcy of tradition and family gatherings, he had learned that he just wasn’t meant for them.
Hank’s grand jury proceeding had gone as well as Phillip had hoped, much to Max’s dismay. Not one of thirty people had ruled that there wasn’t enough evidence. Hank hadn’t been there – presence of a defendant is strictly forbidden (a notion that had somehow avoided Max until the day of the proceeding). Max had been so ashamed to sit in front of the people and tell them what he had endured. He was forced to admit his failure as a person, failure to protect Isabel and keep her life normal, failure to recognize Hank for what he was at the orphanage, and failure to provide a consistency for Isabel’s life. The pity in the eyes of all of the strangers was almost suffocating. And, knowing that Isabel, Michael and Liz would all be forced to sit through the same scrutiny after him and report on what a failure Max was, it killed him. He didn’t want any more of their time wasted on his pathetic excuse for a life. None if this was worth it, anyway. Max deserved what he got. He was a failure. Hank had just let him see that. But, in the end, it was clear that the trial would be taking place sometime in January. A whole month for Max to dread and fear with every fiber of his being.
Even with the chaos at the beginning of the month, life had continued in Roswell. The end of the month got closer, and the festivities became more and more dense. Charities were holding countless fundraisers, churches were rehearsing their annual Christmas plays and students could be seen at the local soup kitchen, trying to spread some holiday cheer. And, in true Isabel form, Isabel had buried herself in these activities. In years previous, she had worked mostly backstage and behind the scenes, fearing that Hank would possibly surface from underneath his drunken haze and make a scene during one of her activities. Now that he was locked away, Isabel didn’t have to worry about it. She was free to do whatever she wished.
Max continued his walk back, a flimsy jacket the only thing protecting him from the harsh winter air. Diane would probably have a fit about it when he got home – she insisted that one day he was going to catch pneumonia. At least he had a black beanie pulled down over his ears.
He had fought her, Phillip and Milton to go back to work earlier this month, too. He needed the income. He put up a good fight and had won.
Isabel, Liz and everyone else hadn’t been happy with his decision to return to work, either. All week, they had thrown him disproving looks. But, they didn’t understand. He needed the income. Milton’s checks were now his only form of support. He didn’t want to leech off of Phillip and Diane forever. He already felt guilty about it.
Isabel had recently taken a job at a small coffee shop a block over from her apartment building. Max wasn’t happy about it at first, but there was nothing he could do. Isabel was an adult. He couldn’t shelter her any longer.
He shoved his hands down, digging them into his pockets. All of his Christmas shopping had already been completed. Something for everyone he talked to had been purchased and was locked away in a closet at Isabel’s apartment. His present for Isabel was under his mattress at Michael’s.
Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. Max intended on being there for Isabel. If she wanted a quasi-normal holiday, he would appease her. Even if his heart wouldn’t be into it.
He reached the house faster than he could have imagined, opening the door with his cold, raw hands. He prayed that he would be able to get up to his room without being detected by Diane.
No such luck, though. As his foot touched the bottom stair, Diane’s voice reached his ears, “Maxwell Guerin, what were you thinking when you got dressed this morning?”
He turned around, finding Diane right behind him. He gave her a weak, humorous, forced smile and then pointed to his beanie, “I wore a hat?”
“Look at your hands! Why didn’t you bring gloves? And what happened to wearing a heavier jacket? I thought we talked about this yesterday!” She reprimanded him, pointing towards the kitchen, “Come on. In you go. I’m going to make you a cup of hot chocolate. It must be twenty five degrees outside with the wind chill! WHAT you were thinking…”
He followed her obediently, his demeanor rivaling that of a puppy with its tail between its legs. Diane had been watching him like a hawk lately. She was intent on making sure that he was keeping up with his wellbeing. Max had a hunch that Liz had told Diane her concern about his habits.
“I just figured that it wouldn’t be that long of a walk…” Max protested feebly, already seated at the kitchen table.
Diane placed a cup in the microwave and then turned around, looking at him with her eyebrows raised, “It’s a twenty minute walk! And you keep refusing to let anyone drive you to work…”
She rambled on for a few minutes. Max’s eye glazed over, trying his best not to listen. That was the easiest way for everyone’s comments not to get to him. To just not listen. He’d listened to Liz far too much recently.
Diane placed the cup of hot chocolate down, signaling the end of her rant. Max took it in his hands and sipped at it while Diane took a seat across from him. She gave him a sad smile, “You know, Michael’s much more fun to nag. He always gives me lip when I do it.”
Max shrugged. Michael never liked to be criticized.
“Are you sure that you and Isabel don’t want to come over here for Christmas? We’ve always got room for you two…” Diane offered, for what seemed like was the hundredth time that week.
Tess was going to be at the Valenti’s for Christmas, but Max and Isabel had opted to stay at the apartment to celebrate. They were going to go over to the Evans’s for dinner, but other than that, they were on their own.
Actually, Max had begged Isabel to stay at the apartment. He hated feeling like he was imposing on the family – especially during the holidays.
Max nodded, “Yeah, but thanks again for the offer.”
He had been avoiding family dinners lately, always pretending to be asleep when Diane would come and see why he didn’t come down for dinner. Even when Michael, Phillip and Diane were in the family room watching television together, he would promptly excuse himself. It was enough that he was taking over a room of their house.
Diane looked slightly put-out, so Max decided to finish the entire mug of hot chocolate. Normally, he would only drink about half. He placed the empty cup on the table and Diane immediately swept it up, “Do you want some more?”
“No, thanks.” Max responded softly. “I think I’m going to go upstairs and take a nap.”
This comment made Diane absolutely beam. The bags under Max’s eyes had grown more prominent lately. This, the fact that a five o’clock shadow was now almost always present on his face, and the way he was no longer keeping up with his appearance had Diane constantly worrying about him.
Max made his way up into his room, locking the door behind him. He crossed the room and crouched down, reaching for something under his bed. When he felt it enclosed in his hand, he smiled in bittersweet satisfaction and sat upon his bed.
The blade glinted happily in the sunlight that passed through the window. With each passing day, it was much more appealing to him. He didn’t know if he would be able to resist its charm for much longer.
When things would get too normal, he would come up here and sit with the knife. It was just a simple little thing, a steak knife that he had taken from one of the drawers downstairs. No one missed it.
He hadn’t actually cut himself, not yet. But he would sit here with it, the piercing metal pressing against his skin. And this was exactly what he was doing now. He wanted to perform the act, feel the blood drip down his skin, endure the pain that he should be feeling, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it yet. Not before Christmas. He would feel too guilty around Isabel, knowing that he was prepared to leave the world when she was just beginning to enter it.
No, he wouldn’t do it today. After Christmas… maybe even on Christmas. Yes, that was it. The feeling of his own blood dripping down his wrists would be his Christmas present to himself.
He sighed deeply, the weight of the promise resting on his shoulders. Of course, he wouldn’t be completely fulfilling his desires – a death date on Christmas would kill Isabel’s spirit – but he would appease his hunger.
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Max was aware of the way people would watch him while he wasn’t looking. They thought that if they looked hard enough, they would see the pain that they all thought should be present.
That was why he was glad that the group had decided to meet at the Crashdown after hours on Christmas Eve to exchange gifts. He wouldn’t have to see the stares of the community.
The Parkers had placed a small Christmas tree in the far corner of the café. When Max walked in, he was accosted by Maria and told to place all of his gifts under the tree with the others. A round of greetings floated to his ears.
Liz had a bowl of eggnog on the counter with a tray of Christmas cookies next to it. White Christmas lights were twinkling, lining the countertop and where the walls met the ceiling. Max hadn’t seen the Crashdown decorated like this since last Christmas. He had avoided the Crashdown lately.
After he placed his gifts down, he took a seat at one of the tables that were still available to sit in. Everyone else was already there, talking animatedly with each other. Max hadn’t completely separated himself from the group – he had sat in a table not far from the booth they were all in.
He was staring passively at the salt shaker when Michael sat in a chair next to him, “Maxwell.”
Max nodded to him in recognition.
Michael didn’t say anything, understanding Max’s need to be left alone. Michael had gone through it a lot, especially when he had first been adopted. It was torturous for him to sit in a house when he knew that his companions were lost somewhere, scared.
Liz joined them next, sitting across from Max. She cleared her throat, getting Max to at least blink, “Are you going to midnight mass tonight, Max?”
Max shook his head. It was a common question these days. “I don’t believe in God.”
“So you’re just going to stay at Isabel’s until she gets back?” Liz pried. She hated leaving Max alone. It scared her. He was still too unpredictable for her liking. She needed to know that he was going to be protected… from himself.
Max nodded slowly.
“Oh, okay.” Liz replied, biting her lip. The thought of him being left alone on the night before Christmas was leaving a bad taste in her mouth.
The bridge between the two tables slowly disintegrated. Conversations were being held between the two tables. Max partook in none of them. He remained quiet, a silent observer to the insanity of the group.
After about an hour, Maria couldn’t control herself any longer. She distributed the presents under the tree to the people they were labeled for and then sat down, looking greedily upon her own.
Max was shocked when Maria had placed a stack of presents in front of him. He couldn’t think of why someone would want to get him a present for Christmas. The best thing that he’d ever gotten from Hank was a can of beer when he was ten. A grand gesture, certainly.
Liz was halfway through opening her presents when she looked up and realized that Max hadn’t opened a single thing, “Max?”
He looked up at her, stopping his line of vision once it reached her chin, “Yeah?”
“Are you going to open your presents?”
“I uh…” He moved his gaze back onto the festively wrapped presents, “I just…”
“Open them.” Liz replied firmly.
Max nodded his head and complied, slowly opening each present: a thirty dollar gift card to the local music store from Kyle and Tess, the new Beck CD from Alex, Talladega Nights from Maria, and a hockey jersey from Michael.
Both Max and Liz had unconsciously held on to their presents for the other person. After the round of ‘thank you’s was exchanged, Max and Liz shared a nod. They excused themselves to the backroom.
Max should have known better. He should have just given Liz her present earlier, because now, in this room, they were alone. He was open for her every scrutiny.
Liz made the first move, holding her package out to him and clearing her throat to grab his attention. Max’s haunted eyes moved to her hand and held out his package, mocking her actions.
They took their presents at the same time.
They both sat on the couch, unaware that the other was doing the same. Max opened his present slowly. When the wrapping paper fell to the ground, he gasped softly.
He ran has finger down the spine of each book, completely numb. He had never owned a book. Everything he ever read was from the library.
Chills were running up and down his spine. He couldn’t believe it. He owned a book. And not just one book, three of them. In his mind, it was practically a library. He read the titles in his head, drawing them out and soaking in the reality of the situation: he owned books.
Next to him, Liz was having the same reaction. She had pulled open her small box and a dainty silver bracelet adorned with a delicate, silver letter ‘E’ fell into her hand. She couldn’t believe it. She had passed the bracelet countless times in one of the windows at the mall, always wanting it to be hers.
She didn’t know how Max knew. She posed the question to him and he shrugged, his voice merely a whisper, “It felt right.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, captured by the perfection of their gifts. Max broke the silence, the comfortable situation making him feel unworthy, “Liz… I… I can’t even…” He looked down at the books in his hands, “Thank you.”
Liz was at the same loss of words. She laughed nervously, “Ditto.”
They were slowly gravitating towards one another, shifting their positions on the couch so they could sit a little closer. Their mouths drew nearer and nearer. When their lips were about a centimeter apart, though, Max jumped off of the couch like he had been shocked. “I… I’m sorry. I can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
He stood in the opposite corner of the backroom, effectively placing as much space between himself and Liz as possible. He gestured to the door, “I uh… I’ll just head back…”
Liz nodded and Max exited the room swiftly, his books tucked at his side. The occupants of the Crashdown had now started dancing to Christmas songs. Max sat at the counter, watching them, but not really seeing them. He wished that he could feel. The only emotions he had been registering lately revolved around anger and loneliness. He felt so empty that it hurt. He could tell that he was slowly becoming numb from the lack of compassion.
It was another reason that he was so ready to employ his knife. To make himself feel something different for a change.
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Christmas morning with Isabel passed by rather smoothly. They watched festive movies, opened their presents from each other and Max even went as far as to help Isabel make some cookies to bring over to the Evans’s house.
They walked over to the Evans home together, the crisp air refreshing, even for them. Max realized slowly that he had his light jacket on again. It was around twenty degrees outside. He looked next to him, where Isabel was walking with her pea coat on, still shivering. Max removed his beanie and placed it on her head. She could fix her hair with her powers later.
Isabel didn’t really process what he was doing until she felt his jacket over her shoulders. She stopped walking abruptly, staring at him incredulously, “Are you crazy?!”
He walked forward a few feet, pretending not to hear her. He had on a long sleeved dress shirt and a pair of black slacks. At least it wasn’t a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. He turned around, “Come on.”
Isabel started taking his jacket off, “Max, it’s freezing outside. You’re not going to walk around with no coat on.”
“Put that back on.” He replied stubbornly, “I’m not going to wear it. You’re just punishing yourself, really.”
When Isabel caught up to him, Max took the plate of cookies and the presents for Michael’s family out of her hands. Isabel stopped walking again, completely exasperated, “Max!”
“What?” He replied warily. “Is it too much for you if I try to be a good brother?”
“This isn’t being a good brother. This is being suicidal.” Isabel shot back, seething. She hated the way that he took everything upon himself. He wasn’t going to survive for long this way. He already had his bags from last night; he didn’t need to worry about the cookies and the presents, too.
Max ignored her and started walking again. Within seconds, Isabel was following him.
They reached the Evans’s without further conflict. On the doorstep, Isabel removed the beanie and fixed her hair. When Max went to take it back, she raised an eyebrow, “Don’t want Diane worrying? Too bad.”
Max spoke lowly, “Please. She’ll start to fuss…”
The door opened before either could say another word. Phillip smiled to them, “Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!” Isabel called back.
Max responded less enthusiastically, “Merry Christmas.”
Diane bustled into the room, wiping her hands on her apron. She smiled broadly, “Merry Christmas!”
Max and Isabel responded in the same way as before. Diane told Phillip to take Isabel’s coat, commented on how lovely she looked, and then turned to Max. She frowned immediately, “Where is your coat? Your hat?”
She took his hands in hers, not waiting for a reply. She paused as she gauged his temperature, “You’re freezing! You’re lucky you didn’t get frostbite!”
Max opened his mouth to retort, to tell her that Isabel had been cold so he gave her his outerwear, but Michael walked into the room. Christmas greetings were exchanged once more.
Diane shooed Max into the living room after ordering Michael to make sure that Max sat by the fire. Phillip left to join them a few seconds later.
Diane smiled weakly at Isabel, taking her hand and leading her into the kitchen, “He’s so difficult.”
“I know.” Isabel responded, smiling at the sight of the kitchen. Diane looked like she was halfway through preparing the green beans, a ham was in the oven, and potatoes were half peeled on the counter. In her opinion, it was exactly what a functioning kitchen should look like. She smiled to Diane, “How can I help?”
“Hmm…” Diane looked around, “Would you mind finishing peeling the potatoes? I’ll get the green beans done and then maybe we can eat sometime in the next hour.” She gave Isabel a wink, “I tried to get Michael to help me earlier, but he ran off in the other direction before I even said a second word.”
Isabel laughed, “He’s just afraid of looking too much like a girl.”
Diane chuckled. She whispered to Isabel, a faint smile still playing on her lips, “Phillip thought Michael was gay. He was ecstatic when Michael brought home Maria. Not that Phillip doesn’t like homosexuals… he just was hoping that he could still watch those silly playmates on that Girls Next Door show with Michael under the pretense that he’s making sure that it doesn’t get too raunchy for a sixteen year old.”
“Don’t tell Maria.” Isabel laughed, “She’s against the exploitation of women.”
“I always like to say that ‘if you got it, flaunt it.’” Diane quoted, making Isabel laugh even more. Isabel liked this. She had grown to see Diane as a motherly figure in the past couple of months. She felt like she belonged here with this family.
Diane had really been a support for Isabel while Max was in the hospital. Isabel had felt so lost, but Diane was there like any good mother, a shoulder for Isabel to cry on. Sure, Isabel had Alex and Michael, but it wasn’t the same as a mother’s comfort.
Diane had taken care of Isabel – feeding her and making sure that she slept. She would check in with Isabel every morning, even if she wasn’t at the hospital. She’d treated Isabel like her own daughter. She called her daily, even now, just to make sure that she was doing alright on her own.
Diane had one of the biggest hearts of any of the people that Isabel knew. Diane had even joked about Isabel being her surrogate daughter and Max being like another son. Phillip had often joked about it, too.
Isabel just wished that Max would let Phillip and Diane like she had. They both cared for him, she could see that, but Max couldn’t. He constantly made himself feel like an outsider. Diane had confided in Isabel, tell her that the way Max distanced himself from them made her want to break out in tears.
Phillip had come to Isabel, asking what they could do to encourage Max to let them in. Isabel didn’t have an answer for them. Max had never let anyone truly in. Not even her.
Dinner was ready in less than an hour, at which point Michael and Max came into the kitchen to set the table. Diane had been shocked, not calling either of them, but she had a sneaking suspicion that Max had persuaded Michael to help out. Michael had never done any chores voluntarily.
Once the food was laid on the table, they bowed their heads in prayer (Max keeping his mouth and mind firmly closed) and then Phillip began cutting the ham while everyone helped themselves to the food on the table.
They ate in a comfortable silence. Diane finished a bit of mashed potatoes and then looked to Max, smiling, “How was your Christmas?”
“Good, thanks.” He replied politely, keeping his eyes trained on his plate.
Diane pried further, “What did you do?”
Max couldn’t do this. He couldn’t pretend that he was like the Evans’s and sit here, making conversation about his day. He spent the day thinking about how he didn’t deserve to be celebrating any holiday, was that what Diane wanted to hear?
Isabel sensed his turmoil and cut in, “We watched a few Christmas movies… you know, Miracle on 34th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life, and the claymation Rudolph. I’m a diehard Christmas claymation fan. And then I baked cookies, Max helped a little, before we knew it, it was time to come over here.”
Phillip laughed, “Michael had us up at five a.m. to open presents.”
Michael groaned, “I did not! That was like… one time when I was eight! I wish we could drop that already.”
“Okay, honey.” Diane nodded, winking at Isabel. She waited until Michael was looking at his plate before mouthing, “It was seven a.m. this year.”
Isabel snorted into her plate. Michael’s head shot up, “What?” He looked to Max for some defense.
Max shrugged, his stoic demeanor still about him.
“What’d you get for Christmas, Mikey?” Isabel said in a teasing manner. Michael hated being called Mikey.
Michael ignored her ‘in the spirit of Christmas’ and responded, “Some clothes, some CDs, some DVDs, a Wii…”
“You got a Wii?” Isabel gawked, “Alex is going to flip. He said his parents looked everywhere for one of those…”
“I was ready to give up weeks ago.” Diane replied. “The only reason Michael got one was because Phillip wanted one, too. He got himself so worked up over it.”
Phillip laughed, defending himself feebly, “It was all for Michael.”
Diane nodded, “Which is why you played it for the entirety of Michael’s nap this afternoon.”
Michael frowned, “Why didn’t you wake me up? We could’ve played together.”
“Son, I’ve got to get control of the system before I can go up against you. You kids can pick up anything electronic and have it figured out in seconds. I come from a much more technologically challenged generation.”
The banter continued, each person telling at least two stories before dessert was served. Everyone, of course, except Max. They had tried to make him a part of the conversation, but each time he would brush it off, shifting the focus to someone else. He liked to think of himself as a master of avoidance.
Dessert comprised of Isabel’s cookies and tea. Diane brought in two wrapped packages, a small box for Isabel and a larger one for Max. She smiled, “Merry Christmas.”
Isabel jumped to her feet, “I almost forgot.” She ran from the room, grabbing the presents from where Max had left them in the living room and giving them out to Diane and Phillip. They had given Michael his presents last night.
Diane opened hers, revealing a gift set from Bath and Body Works. She smiled, thanking Max and Isabel. Max had overheard her telling Michael that she ran out of her lotion earlier that month.
Phillip received a nice set of wrenches that Isabel had somehow found out he’d been wanting for a while. She hinted to Max that she had found out in one of Phillip’s dreams.
Isabel was given a bottle of Vera Wang Princess fragrance, something that she had secretly wanted ever since taking a smell of a sample at the mall a few months ago. She looked up, completely amazed, “Wow… thank you so much. Wow.”
“Don’t mention it.” Diane brushed off her thanks. It was the least she could do. She felt like she owed Max and Isabel so much. She had failed them previously, now she needed to make up for it.
Max hadn’t opened his box, just watched as everyone else opened theirs. He realized that everyone was staring at him, waiting for him. He hesitantly reached forward, pulling open the paper. A clothing box was underneath. He opened the box and a leather jacket was revealed with a black wool beanie lying on top of it.
Diane smiled, “Now I won’t have to worry about you when you walk out of the house in your little cotton jacket.”
“Thank you.” Max replied, earnestly. For the second time in two days, he was completely awed that anyone would want to spend money on him. Leather jackets were expensive, he knew this much. He had already taken so much from Diane and Phillip… “You really shouldn’t have.” He still hadn’t taken the jacket out of the box.
“We wanted to.” Diane replied simply. She knew that Max thought he was a leech, she could tell by the way he acted around them. But, she wasn’t going to let that notion go by without trying to correct it. “Do you like it?”
“Yeah.” Max replied, his honesty unwavering.
Phillip laughed, “Now all you need is a motorcycle.”
Michael’s ears perked up, “I’m selling mine.”
“You are?” Max snapped his head towards Michael. A motorcycle. Michael’s wasn’t top of the line; it wouldn’t be completely out of Max’s price range. He would have to work a few extra shifts, but other than that, he could buy it from Michael. It would give him freedom.
The only downside of a motorcycle to any average person is that it’s dangerous. To Max, this feature was a blessing.
“Yeah, Maria doesn’t like it, and I’m starting to think that a lot of her arguments are right. Besides, I can’t keep borrowing my parents’ cars to take on our dates.” Michael shrugged. He had asked for a motorcycle during one of his more rebellious stages. He was winding down, now.
Isabel cut in, “Max, you don’t need a motorcycle.” She could tell that he was interested. But, she also knew that he wouldn’t help himself with one. If anything, he would use it to try and destroy himself.
Max gave Michael a look, telling him that they would talk about it later. Michael nodded.
Twenty minutes later, Phillip had offered Max his car to take Isabel home in. After a little persuasion, Max agreed. Isabel and Max rode in silence, the heater in the car purring softly.
They pulled into the parking lot and Isabel turned to Max, “Merry Christmas. I love you.”
Max cringed. He hated it when those words were directed towards him. He nodded, replying simply with a “Merry Christmas.” It wasn’t that he didn’t love Isabel, it was that he didn’t think that the words, coming from him, held any value. Who would care if he loved someone?
And then there was the notion that he maybe didn’t have the capacity to love anyone. He was worthless. A thing. Did things have emotions? He certainly didn’t. There was no place for love in him.
Isabel left the car and Max turned off the heat. The cold was something different for him. Something that made him feel pain when it got to be too much. A bitter feeling that reached his bones. It made him feel alive.
He reversed the car, his mind completely on the object under his mattress. He was set on it. He would feel the pain that he deserved.
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An hour later, Max locked the door behind him as he entered his room. Diane and Phillip had gone to bed. Michael was in his room, watching a movie. Max was alone.
He reached under his mattress, pulling out the coveted article. Tonight he would get to feel. He had waited so long for the right time.
Taking a perch upon the bed, Max used his powers to dim the lights around him, leaving what was left of the light to dance upon his skin. He pulled his shirt over his head. Tonight was about experimenting. He wanted to know the worst pain. He needed to know the pain. He deserved it. It was his to be had.
He would give it to himself.
His steady hand picked up the knife and brought it to his left wrist. He placed the blade over the skin, pausing for a brief second. The thought of Liz crossed his mind, wondering what she would do if she found out what he was doing tonight. He reminded himself, though, that it didn’t matter. He didn’t deserve her, anyway.
He applied pressure to the blade, already sensing a tingling of his skin. Without a second thought, he drew it back fast and angrily, wincing in pain. He looked down at the gashed wrist, a feeling of satisfaction washing over him. The blood ran from his veins, traveling down his arm and dripping onto the sheets that held him. He grabbed for his pillow is his other hand, taking a corner and placing it in his mouth.
Max switched the knife into his hand, gripping it as best he could, despite the pain. He repeated his previous action, in the same location as the other wrist. This time, he bit down on the pillow, fighting off his attempt to cry out.
A tear escaped his eye and something inside of him snapped. The fury that he had been feeling for years surfaced slightly. Why had he been condemned to a life of pain and lonliness? Why couldn’t he be normal?
The questions overcame him, fueling the anger that he directed towards himself. He hated himself. He despised himself. Angry tears cut down his cheeks. He always messed everything up. He was his own worst enemy. He was everyone’s worst enemy.
The rage overcame him, taking over his actions. He didn’t know what he was doing, it didn’t matter. He just had to let out the anger and the hate. It was all he could do.
Ten minutes later, the attack on his own body had ceased. He was shaking, the knife dropping to the floor, unnoticed by him. Max lifted himself off the bed, the angry tears dried, but the fresh blood still flowing. His feet padded softly on the ground, leaving footprints of blood in their wake.
He turned on the light, the switch becoming bloody from his touch. With a wary look, he gazed into the mirror. Gashes gleamed at him, a trail of them in integers of an inch all the way up both arms. He had somehow managed to create a gash from his eye to earlobe on his left cheek.
The thing that stood out most, though, was his chest. The word shone angrily, even though it wasn’t actually carved into his skin. Some piece of his mind was making him imagine it. Something else had taken him over for the last ten minutes, how was he to know the difference? Some piece of him that knew exactly what he deserved was telling him that the word was there:
<center>Freak</center>
He turned off the bathroom light, a drowning feeling capturing him. He was in over his head. He didn’t know how long he could keep living. He felt so lost. What he wouldn’t give for some comfort, a soothing word. But they weren’t meant to be. They would never be his. He was far too despicable for anyone to want to truly love him. He was unlovable. The words and comfort would never be his.
Max collapsed onto his bed. He would endure the pain for the night, clean up and then heal himself in the morning. It beat feeling empty. It beat what he had been feeling for years.
He pressed against one of the cuts on his arm with a finger, trying to distract his brain from the emptiness. Pain was such an easier thing for him to deal with.
TBC...
Last edited by sprayadhesive on Wed Jan 24, 2007 4:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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sprayadhesive
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 187
- Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:19 pm
- Location: Georgia
Part 23
The severity of Max's cutting episodes decreased dramatically after the first night. He had defaulted to cuts on the wrists, traveling no further than his forearms. The initial anger at himself had subsided. And he had fallen into a routine pattern.
He would go to dinner every night, make limited small talk with the Evans's, go to his room and read a chapter from one of the books that Liz had given him, and then use his knife.
Each time his guilt grew. Not because he didn't mind punishing his body, he knew he deserved it, but because of the faces of the people around him.
When he was around Diane, it was the worst. It almost killed him when he had to look at her mothering features. She always looked so concerned. It was like she really cared for him. Every step that he took when she was awake, she was monitoring it. She wanted to keep him safe, for some reason. But he was just going against her and violating the trust that she had laid in him.
He knew that somehow he had to come to a solution. He could move out. Isabel would never allow it, but it was worth a shot. He could give up the habit, but that wouldn't relieve the guilt. The only thing that he could do would be to get help. And that was a step that he wasn't ready to take, not quite yet. He didn't know if he could handle any more pitying looks.
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When Max awoke on New Year's Day, he knew that his day wasn't going to go his way. The notion was only increased when Isabel was hovering above him as he opened his eyes. He cursed and she handed him a shirt and a pair of pants before turning back to face the wall. She spoke quickly, "C'mon, get dressed. We've got a lot of stuff to do. I want to go grocery shopping and then we're meeting Liz and Michael at the Crashdown for lunch and then we've got the afternoon free and then you've got to come back here for dinner and then, well, I guess you can do whatever, but c'mon!"
Max hurriedly dressed, only focusing on trying to keep Isabel from seeing the cuts on his wrists. There was no way that he would be able to heal them today. Isabel wasn't planning on letting him out of her sight.
He pulled on a pair of socks and his shoes and clearing his throat, telling Isabel that he was decent and that she could turn around and face him.
Isabel groaned, "Finally. Let's go."
She latched on to his forearm, not noticing Max's grimace of pain as her fingers pressed his cotton sleeve into his fresh wounds, and guided him out of the already empty house. "I don't know what you were doing, sleeping until ten. It's not like you partied last night."
It was true. Everyone else had gone over to the Crashdown for the New Year's Eve celebration (parents included), but Max had pretended to not be feeling well. He just stayed home and 'played' with his knife. Not exactly ringing in the year with style.
"…so, what'd you do last night anyways?" Isabel gestured for him to get into the passenger's side of Tess's CR-V. Tess was around Kyle a lot now, leaving the need for her car very small, and she let Isabel use it whenever she needed it.
"Went to sleep. I was tired." Max replied vaguely, staring blankly out of the window.
Isabel took a deep breath, "Alex asked me to be his girlfriend last night. Officially."
Max turned his head slowly, shifting his gaze to her hands on the steering wheel. Her knuckles were pale. Like she was bracing herself for an explosion. Instead, Max nodded, "Cool."
"That's it?" Isabel replied, her shock evident. "After everything that you said at the lake about our relationship, everything that you've said about Alex hurting me, that's all that you're going to say?"
"You're an adult, Iz." Max replied monotonously, "It's not my place."
Isabel softened her tone, "I just… I guess I kind of want your approval. We don't exactly have parents…" Max winced, "…and you're my brother… the only family in my life… heck, the only man, until Alex… I want you to be happy for me."
"I'm happy if you're happy." Max replied. He continued before Isabel could cut him off, "Alex is a good guy."
Isabel nodded, trying to hold back the tears. She knew she was being selfish, asking of so much from him in such a short amount of time. He needed time to heal from years of mental and physical abuse.
But she also needed Max. He had been there for her throughout her entire existence. And, truth be told, it was hard that he just wanted a clean break from her life. She would do anything to have a decent conversation with him…. to talk about their lives, as they had somewhat done while living in the trailer.
His vague comments on Alex weren't helping to ease her mind, either. Sure, she was glad that he wasn't exploding over the notion of her dating someone, but she didn't like how apathetic he'd become. He was, at least, responsive the last time Alex had taken a step forward. Now, there was hardly anything.
She couldn't just cut him out of her life. She would do anything to hold on to him, even if it meant frustration would ensue.
Max shifted his position and looked out of the window once more. He could see Isabel's internal struggle. He hated doing this to her.
Maybe if he could just swallow his pride and ask someone for help, then he wouldn't have to put Isabel through all of this.
He had to remind himself repeatedly that he wasn't worth it. It would be a waste of everyone's time.
They parked at the grocery store and in minutes, Isabel already had her cart laden with fruits and vegetables. She walked down the aisle, Max trailing behind her. Suddenly, she turned to him, "How's the UFO Center?"
Max shrugged.
"Are you sure you're okay working there?" Isabel pressed.
Max sighed heavily, "Isabel, I have been working there for almost two years, now. Since the day I turned fifteen. Just because, suddenly, everyone knows everything about my life, that doesn't mean that I can't keep supporting myself."
"I never said…" Isabel started.
Max cut her off, "You didn't have to. I get it, Iz. You all think I'm a head case. Everyone's afraid to let me do anything on my own anymore. You guys pretend like I don't see the looks you give each other when you find out that I'm going to be alone for a minute. But what everyone fails to realize is that I've been alone my entire life. I'm used to it. No one has to worry."
"Just because we don't have to, that doesn't mean we won't." Her answer shocked him.
"Don't." He replied firmly, "Just don't."
Isabel shook her head slowly, her will and determination growing stronger, "I'm going to therapy." Isabel changed the subject, ripping off the Band-Aid as fast as possible.
Max froze, "What?"
"Therapy. I'm going."
"Why?"
Isabel held up a finger and she placed the food on the counter, allowing the man to check her out. Once they were settled into the car, she started in the direction of her apartment.
Max repeated his question, "Why are you going to therapy?"
"Because." Isabel replied softly. "I need to let all of this go. I can't hold on to it for the rest of my life. I need to move forward. I can't keep hearing… your… screams… in my head when I'm trying to go to sleep at night.
"W-what?" Max asked numbly. His screams. Isabel was haunted… by him.
"Every single time I close my eyes, all I can hear is you screaming in agony or your body crunching up against the side of the trailer. And sometimes it's more than that. I can hear Hank… talking to me like he always did."
Max closed his eyes in defeat. He had failed protecting her in yet another way, "I'm sorry."
Isabel grabbed his hand, begging him to understand, "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything to make this happen."
Max snatched his hand away, "I should have been more quiet."
Isabel scoffed, "More quiet while you were being beat and… and… who knows what else? Are you serious?"
"Never more." He replied in a haunted voice.
"You're being ridiculous." Isabel replied harshly, "Stop blaming yourself for things that were completely out of your hands."
His hands. Max looked own at them. Other people on this Earth would kill to have the power that his hands held. The power to heal and, in essence, give life. And he was using them for self destruction. It wasn't right.
They reached the apartment building sooner than he would have thought and they brought in the groceries. As Isabel was closing one of the cabinets in the kitchen, she suddenly braced herself on the counter, "When did it happen? How often?"
She needed to know why she knew nothing about it. How had Max kept Hank's abuse a secret for so long?
“It doesn't matter." He replied,
"Yes." Isabel turned to him, her face stern, "It matters. I need to know."
"It's not your burden to carry." He replied, standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen.
"It's not yours, either."
Max shook his head slowly, "Why can't you just let it go?"
"Why can't you?"
Max thought about her question. She was right. He was holding on to the past. And at what cost? Isabel's sanity? Michael's? Liz's? It seemed like just about everything was making him question his decisions. He bowed his head in defeat, "Most of the time… it was when you weren't there. If you had a sleepover or… or…"
She stepped towards him, holding his hand in support. He didn't pull away.
"If you were just out with your friends. He would start blaming me and…"
"What do you mean she's not here?" Hank's harsh voice blared.
Max stood firm, "She's out with her friends! They went to the movies."
"And just where is she getting all of this money for the movies?" The man growled, his hand latching on to Max's wrist. He spun Max around, twisting his arm painfully behind his back.
Max bit his lip to try and prevent the scream, "I gave it to her. I work. I make money. I did it."
"Oh, you make money, now, huh? Think you're Mr. Big Shot?" Hank's fist slammed into the small of Max's back.
Max doubled over. Hank snickered and let go of Max's arm, causing him to fall to the ground.
Hank growled again, "You're not pretty as her, you piece of shit. But you'll do. You always do."
His cold hands snuck under Max's shirt and went for the button on Max's pants while his body pinned Max to the ground.
"Oh my God." Isabel's eyes filled with tears and she sunk to the floor against the cabinets.
Max hadn't been able to stop the flash. Everything had gone so fast and when he realized what she was seeing, he hadn't been able to get his wrist out of her grasp until just before Hank had started taking off his clothes.
"Isabel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen… I didn't know…" He stuttered, trying to make her understand.
He sunk to his knees next to her and Isabel clung on to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He kept his arms pinned to his sides, but allowed her the closeness.
"I'm sorry, Max." Isabel murmured, her voice muffled, "I was so selfish. I could have just stayed at home all of those times. You wouldn't have been alone… he wouldn't have blamed you as much."
Max shushed her gently, "It wasn't your fault. You just wanted a life. I was glad that you had one. It made living with him bearable."
He gave her a weak smile, "You go get cleaned up and then we can meet Michael and Liz for lunch, okay? Just like you said."
Isabel laughed feebly and waved her hand over her face, all traces of the ordeal erased..
Isabel sniffled, "How're your powers? Better?"
"They're working, if that's what you mean." Max shrugged.
"That's good." Isabel replied, managing another smile.
Max shrugged again. Lately, he didn't even care that he was from another planet. He was too focused on getting off of this one completely…
"You should be happy." Isabel urged, "I mean, it's a part of who you are. Who we are."
Max nodded, "I know."
He had been thinking a lot about it. If he wasn't an alien, would he have been cursed to be parentless and beaten his entire life? Or would he be normal? Have a family rivaling that of the Parkers or the Evans?
Probably not.
They got to their feet and Isabel dusted of her jeans, "Ready?"
"Yeah. Are you okay?" He asked in the tone that he used to use with her, after an episode with Hank.
Isabel nodded, gaining her confidence, "Yeah."
They traveled in silence and reached the Crashdown a little after one. The place was packed, but Michael was already seated.
Isabel sat next to him and Max slid onto the empty bench. Michael nodded, "Hey."
"Hey." Isabel chirped back, "Where's Liz?"
"She's not down yet." Michael responded.
Max stood up, "I'll be right back." He headed into the backroom, looking for the girl that was supposed to meet up with them in a matter of minutes.
He ran into her sooner and more literally than he could have imagined. He caught her before she completely lost her balance, "Sorry."
"It's okay." She smiled up at him, "What are you doing here, Max?"
"I just wanted to apologize for not coming last night." He scuffed a shoe against the floor, staring at it intently. "I wasn't feeling well."
"It's okay. I understand." She shrugged it off, "How are you?"
A small smile tugged on the corners of Max's mouth. It was a question that he couldn't answer for himself. How was he? He was miserable. He made himself miserable when there were plenty of opportunities to be happy. "I'm all right."
Liz tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "I was just wondering… if you would want to… you know… go out to dinner tonight and then come back to my house and rent a movie or something…?"
Max bit his lip. His heart was screaming 'yes' and his mind was screaming 'no'. He didn't want to hold Liz back with his problems. "I don't think that's a very good idea…"
Liz recovered quickly, her heart panging with the rejection, "Well, I mean like, with Maria, Michael, Tess, Kyle, Isabel and Alex. My parents are going out of town and I thought it would make a nice change of scenery for a hangout spot."
"Oh." Max nodded, "Yeah. We can do that. I mean… I'm free." He felt stupid for assuming that she meant a date. Of course Liz would never want to date him.
"But…if you ever change your mind about… you know… going out with just me… let me know." Liz smiled weakly.
Max shook his head, "I don't think relationships are my thing."
"Everyone has a chance to be happy." Liz replied, her smile strengthening. She took one of his hands and led him into the main area of the restaurant.
After lunch, Michael took Max back to his house.
They were in the kitchen getting a drink of water when Michael turned to Max, "I'm going out tonight. With Maria."
Max nodded.
"Are you going to be okay here with my parents?" He scratched at his eyebrow, "Isabel told me to ask you. It's a stupid question, I know, but just give me a rational answer so I can report back to her and she'll be happy. Get her off of both of our backs."
"I'll be fine." Max shrugged, "It's not a big deal."
"I know." Michael replied, "Isabel… she's just worried, I guess. But her worrying is seriously getting on my nerves."
Another smile tugged Max's lips, "Yeah, mine too. She's good for that."
"I guess."
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Michael turned to Max, "Hey, so, do you want to go to Ruidoso with me on Saturday? I want to go check out a few cars."
It would be good for him to get out of the small town. "Yeah, sure."
"Awesome." Michael placed his glass in the dishwasher and then sprinted up the stairs, calling over his shoulder, "See ya."
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Michael was long gone. Diane and Phillip were downstairs in the living room, watching the news. Max had brought out his 'friend' again, but he was just staring down at the glinting blade.
Hanging out with Isabel, Liz and Michael today had done wonders to decrease Max's confidence in his decisions lately. He was beginning to wonder why he was doing the things he was doing.
When he allowed himself to, he could actually feel traces of happiness in his body. Was that such a bad thing? Hank had always said so.
Hank was the constant nagging notion over Max's shoulder that told him that he was nothing. Told him he was a piece of shit. That he should just disappear, to make everyone else's lives more bearable.
But, then again, Hank was in jail. People go to jail for breaking the law. Hank had broken the laws of humanity.
Did that mean that Hank had been preaching the wrong things to Max all of these years?
Max heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He knew that they were going to end in his room. Somehow, he just knew.
He hid the knife under his mattress hurriedly, sitting down on the side of the bed just as Diane's head popped in, "Do you want to come down with us, Max? You shouldn't have to sit up here all alone."
Max took a deep breath and, without thinking, took the plunge. His heart began racing as soon as the words left his lips, "Actually, uh, can I talk to you? And Phillip, too?"
"Of course." Diane nodded, pushing the door further open and stepping in. She called down to Phillip and then looked back to Max, "Is everything okay?"
Her words dripped of concern.
Max shook his head. He wasn't going to lie anymore. And he certainly wasn't going to turn back now. He needed to do this. Not for himself. For everyone around them. He was holding them back, and they were all so ready to move forward.
Phillip reached the room and looked between Max and Diane with confusion, "Anything wrong?"
"Max says that he has something that he needs to tell us." Diane took Philip's hand and they both looked expectantly at Max.
Max kept his eyes on the ground as he spoke, "Most of my life… I've lived with someone… and all that I was taught was that…" He took a deep breath, trying to regain his confidence. It was slowly disappearing on him, "…that I was, well… shit."
"Max, honey…" Diane took a step forward, but Max shook his head and she stopped in her tracks. He wasn't done.
"And, well, I've believed him. I believed every word that he ever told me. I still do."
Phillip let his confusion and anger towards a man locked up get the better of him, "You… you…"
He raised his hand to put it to his brow, but Max took it as something else. The boy shrunk on his bed, raising his arms in front of his face. A new degree of vulnerability peaked that neither Phillip nor Diane had ever wanted to see in a child before.
Max had thought that Phillip was going to strike him.
"Max…" Phillip lowered his hand, very slowly, not breaking his gaze on him, "I'm not Hank. I won't hurt you."
"I'm sorry." Max whispered, lowering his gaze to the ground. "I can't help it… I…" He choked back the tears that he didn't know had been building. He didn't know how it had gotten to this point.
"We're not going to blame you for what that monster has done to you." Diane spoke softly, trying to make him understand. He needed to know that people were there for him. He was going to know that fact, even if it killed them to get to that point. "You are your own person. Hank isn't in control of you anymore."
Max kept his gaze locked on the ground. He felt so stupid, slowly exposing Phillip and Diane to his emotional scars. But he needed to. He couldn't go on living like this forever. If not for him, for Liz and Isabel. Even Michael, Phillip and Diane. They deserved to know him, not the shell of him. He had been selfish thinking that he could drive everyone away. His own delusions had caused him unfit to deserve their companionship, not Hank's actions and words.
And Max suddenly knew what he had to do. He needed to show his weakness. He raised his eye level to match Phillip's and then Diane's.
Diane gasped, her heart literally aching at what she saw. Her eyes instantaneously watered. She had never seen so much pain in any person. Max had once more made them believe that he was better off than he actually was.
Max lifted himself slightly off the mattress, sliding his hand underneath it. He withdrew the knife and laid it on the bed. He sat down once more and then pushed up his sleeves, newly thankful for Isabel interrupting his healing that very morning. He laid his arms, forearms up, on his knees and ignored Diane's gasps as she took in his wounds. He spoke softly, his voice unwavering, and his eyes shimmering with tears, staring directly into Diane's, "I need help."
Diane burst into tears, sinking next to Max on the bed, pulling him into a hug. She stroked the back of his head, speaking in a strong voice, "It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. You did a good thing by telling someone. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud."
She was proud of him. Her words echoed in Max's head over and over again. No adult had ever expressed their happiness over Max's actions. Only teachers, and they had to say those things about everyone. He had done something right.
And, for the first time in his life, Max hugged someone back. He clung to Diane like a child clings to a mother, fearing what would happen when he let go. The tears that he had been holding sprung free, breaching the high dam that he had built for himself.
He allowed himself to be completely exposed to another person. And he realized that maybe, just maybe, people did care about him. Really, truly care about him.
Phillip left the room silently, closing the door on the view of his wife and a very broken child. He felt his eyes misting.
Diane continued to soothe the boy that was falling apart in her arms. She stroked his hair lovingly, whispering softly into his ear, "It's okay. You're going to be okay. We're here for you. We're all here for you. I'm so proud of you."
Max had finally cracked open the door to let them in. He was ready to move forward.
Granted, he wouldn't be completely healed. Not at all close to normal. He would need therapy and the constant support of his family and friends, but Max was willing to try. And that made all the difference in the world.
TBC...
The severity of Max's cutting episodes decreased dramatically after the first night. He had defaulted to cuts on the wrists, traveling no further than his forearms. The initial anger at himself had subsided. And he had fallen into a routine pattern.
He would go to dinner every night, make limited small talk with the Evans's, go to his room and read a chapter from one of the books that Liz had given him, and then use his knife.
Each time his guilt grew. Not because he didn't mind punishing his body, he knew he deserved it, but because of the faces of the people around him.
When he was around Diane, it was the worst. It almost killed him when he had to look at her mothering features. She always looked so concerned. It was like she really cared for him. Every step that he took when she was awake, she was monitoring it. She wanted to keep him safe, for some reason. But he was just going against her and violating the trust that she had laid in him.
He knew that somehow he had to come to a solution. He could move out. Isabel would never allow it, but it was worth a shot. He could give up the habit, but that wouldn't relieve the guilt. The only thing that he could do would be to get help. And that was a step that he wasn't ready to take, not quite yet. He didn't know if he could handle any more pitying looks.
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When Max awoke on New Year's Day, he knew that his day wasn't going to go his way. The notion was only increased when Isabel was hovering above him as he opened his eyes. He cursed and she handed him a shirt and a pair of pants before turning back to face the wall. She spoke quickly, "C'mon, get dressed. We've got a lot of stuff to do. I want to go grocery shopping and then we're meeting Liz and Michael at the Crashdown for lunch and then we've got the afternoon free and then you've got to come back here for dinner and then, well, I guess you can do whatever, but c'mon!"
Max hurriedly dressed, only focusing on trying to keep Isabel from seeing the cuts on his wrists. There was no way that he would be able to heal them today. Isabel wasn't planning on letting him out of her sight.
He pulled on a pair of socks and his shoes and clearing his throat, telling Isabel that he was decent and that she could turn around and face him.
Isabel groaned, "Finally. Let's go."
She latched on to his forearm, not noticing Max's grimace of pain as her fingers pressed his cotton sleeve into his fresh wounds, and guided him out of the already empty house. "I don't know what you were doing, sleeping until ten. It's not like you partied last night."
It was true. Everyone else had gone over to the Crashdown for the New Year's Eve celebration (parents included), but Max had pretended to not be feeling well. He just stayed home and 'played' with his knife. Not exactly ringing in the year with style.
"…so, what'd you do last night anyways?" Isabel gestured for him to get into the passenger's side of Tess's CR-V. Tess was around Kyle a lot now, leaving the need for her car very small, and she let Isabel use it whenever she needed it.
"Went to sleep. I was tired." Max replied vaguely, staring blankly out of the window.
Isabel took a deep breath, "Alex asked me to be his girlfriend last night. Officially."
Max turned his head slowly, shifting his gaze to her hands on the steering wheel. Her knuckles were pale. Like she was bracing herself for an explosion. Instead, Max nodded, "Cool."
"That's it?" Isabel replied, her shock evident. "After everything that you said at the lake about our relationship, everything that you've said about Alex hurting me, that's all that you're going to say?"
"You're an adult, Iz." Max replied monotonously, "It's not my place."
Isabel softened her tone, "I just… I guess I kind of want your approval. We don't exactly have parents…" Max winced, "…and you're my brother… the only family in my life… heck, the only man, until Alex… I want you to be happy for me."
"I'm happy if you're happy." Max replied. He continued before Isabel could cut him off, "Alex is a good guy."
Isabel nodded, trying to hold back the tears. She knew she was being selfish, asking of so much from him in such a short amount of time. He needed time to heal from years of mental and physical abuse.
But she also needed Max. He had been there for her throughout her entire existence. And, truth be told, it was hard that he just wanted a clean break from her life. She would do anything to have a decent conversation with him…. to talk about their lives, as they had somewhat done while living in the trailer.
His vague comments on Alex weren't helping to ease her mind, either. Sure, she was glad that he wasn't exploding over the notion of her dating someone, but she didn't like how apathetic he'd become. He was, at least, responsive the last time Alex had taken a step forward. Now, there was hardly anything.
She couldn't just cut him out of her life. She would do anything to hold on to him, even if it meant frustration would ensue.
Max shifted his position and looked out of the window once more. He could see Isabel's internal struggle. He hated doing this to her.
Maybe if he could just swallow his pride and ask someone for help, then he wouldn't have to put Isabel through all of this.
He had to remind himself repeatedly that he wasn't worth it. It would be a waste of everyone's time.
They parked at the grocery store and in minutes, Isabel already had her cart laden with fruits and vegetables. She walked down the aisle, Max trailing behind her. Suddenly, she turned to him, "How's the UFO Center?"
Max shrugged.
"Are you sure you're okay working there?" Isabel pressed.
Max sighed heavily, "Isabel, I have been working there for almost two years, now. Since the day I turned fifteen. Just because, suddenly, everyone knows everything about my life, that doesn't mean that I can't keep supporting myself."
"I never said…" Isabel started.
Max cut her off, "You didn't have to. I get it, Iz. You all think I'm a head case. Everyone's afraid to let me do anything on my own anymore. You guys pretend like I don't see the looks you give each other when you find out that I'm going to be alone for a minute. But what everyone fails to realize is that I've been alone my entire life. I'm used to it. No one has to worry."
"Just because we don't have to, that doesn't mean we won't." Her answer shocked him.
"Don't." He replied firmly, "Just don't."
Isabel shook her head slowly, her will and determination growing stronger, "I'm going to therapy." Isabel changed the subject, ripping off the Band-Aid as fast as possible.
Max froze, "What?"
"Therapy. I'm going."
"Why?"
Isabel held up a finger and she placed the food on the counter, allowing the man to check her out. Once they were settled into the car, she started in the direction of her apartment.
Max repeated his question, "Why are you going to therapy?"
"Because." Isabel replied softly. "I need to let all of this go. I can't hold on to it for the rest of my life. I need to move forward. I can't keep hearing… your… screams… in my head when I'm trying to go to sleep at night.
"W-what?" Max asked numbly. His screams. Isabel was haunted… by him.
"Every single time I close my eyes, all I can hear is you screaming in agony or your body crunching up against the side of the trailer. And sometimes it's more than that. I can hear Hank… talking to me like he always did."
Max closed his eyes in defeat. He had failed protecting her in yet another way, "I'm sorry."
Isabel grabbed his hand, begging him to understand, "It's not your fault. You didn't do anything to make this happen."
Max snatched his hand away, "I should have been more quiet."
Isabel scoffed, "More quiet while you were being beat and… and… who knows what else? Are you serious?"
"Never more." He replied in a haunted voice.
"You're being ridiculous." Isabel replied harshly, "Stop blaming yourself for things that were completely out of your hands."
His hands. Max looked own at them. Other people on this Earth would kill to have the power that his hands held. The power to heal and, in essence, give life. And he was using them for self destruction. It wasn't right.
They reached the apartment building sooner than he would have thought and they brought in the groceries. As Isabel was closing one of the cabinets in the kitchen, she suddenly braced herself on the counter, "When did it happen? How often?"
She needed to know why she knew nothing about it. How had Max kept Hank's abuse a secret for so long?
“It doesn't matter." He replied,
"Yes." Isabel turned to him, her face stern, "It matters. I need to know."
"It's not your burden to carry." He replied, standing awkwardly in the middle of the kitchen.
"It's not yours, either."
Max shook his head slowly, "Why can't you just let it go?"
"Why can't you?"
Max thought about her question. She was right. He was holding on to the past. And at what cost? Isabel's sanity? Michael's? Liz's? It seemed like just about everything was making him question his decisions. He bowed his head in defeat, "Most of the time… it was when you weren't there. If you had a sleepover or… or…"
She stepped towards him, holding his hand in support. He didn't pull away.
"If you were just out with your friends. He would start blaming me and…"
"What do you mean she's not here?" Hank's harsh voice blared.
Max stood firm, "She's out with her friends! They went to the movies."
"And just where is she getting all of this money for the movies?" The man growled, his hand latching on to Max's wrist. He spun Max around, twisting his arm painfully behind his back.
Max bit his lip to try and prevent the scream, "I gave it to her. I work. I make money. I did it."
"Oh, you make money, now, huh? Think you're Mr. Big Shot?" Hank's fist slammed into the small of Max's back.
Max doubled over. Hank snickered and let go of Max's arm, causing him to fall to the ground.
Hank growled again, "You're not pretty as her, you piece of shit. But you'll do. You always do."
His cold hands snuck under Max's shirt and went for the button on Max's pants while his body pinned Max to the ground.
"Oh my God." Isabel's eyes filled with tears and she sunk to the floor against the cabinets.
Max hadn't been able to stop the flash. Everything had gone so fast and when he realized what she was seeing, he hadn't been able to get his wrist out of her grasp until just before Hank had started taking off his clothes.
"Isabel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen… I didn't know…" He stuttered, trying to make her understand.
He sunk to his knees next to her and Isabel clung on to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. He kept his arms pinned to his sides, but allowed her the closeness.
"I'm sorry, Max." Isabel murmured, her voice muffled, "I was so selfish. I could have just stayed at home all of those times. You wouldn't have been alone… he wouldn't have blamed you as much."
Max shushed her gently, "It wasn't your fault. You just wanted a life. I was glad that you had one. It made living with him bearable."
He gave her a weak smile, "You go get cleaned up and then we can meet Michael and Liz for lunch, okay? Just like you said."
Isabel laughed feebly and waved her hand over her face, all traces of the ordeal erased..
Isabel sniffled, "How're your powers? Better?"
"They're working, if that's what you mean." Max shrugged.
"That's good." Isabel replied, managing another smile.
Max shrugged again. Lately, he didn't even care that he was from another planet. He was too focused on getting off of this one completely…
"You should be happy." Isabel urged, "I mean, it's a part of who you are. Who we are."
Max nodded, "I know."
He had been thinking a lot about it. If he wasn't an alien, would he have been cursed to be parentless and beaten his entire life? Or would he be normal? Have a family rivaling that of the Parkers or the Evans?
Probably not.
They got to their feet and Isabel dusted of her jeans, "Ready?"
"Yeah. Are you okay?" He asked in the tone that he used to use with her, after an episode with Hank.
Isabel nodded, gaining her confidence, "Yeah."
They traveled in silence and reached the Crashdown a little after one. The place was packed, but Michael was already seated.
Isabel sat next to him and Max slid onto the empty bench. Michael nodded, "Hey."
"Hey." Isabel chirped back, "Where's Liz?"
"She's not down yet." Michael responded.
Max stood up, "I'll be right back." He headed into the backroom, looking for the girl that was supposed to meet up with them in a matter of minutes.
He ran into her sooner and more literally than he could have imagined. He caught her before she completely lost her balance, "Sorry."
"It's okay." She smiled up at him, "What are you doing here, Max?"
"I just wanted to apologize for not coming last night." He scuffed a shoe against the floor, staring at it intently. "I wasn't feeling well."
"It's okay. I understand." She shrugged it off, "How are you?"
A small smile tugged on the corners of Max's mouth. It was a question that he couldn't answer for himself. How was he? He was miserable. He made himself miserable when there were plenty of opportunities to be happy. "I'm all right."
Liz tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "I was just wondering… if you would want to… you know… go out to dinner tonight and then come back to my house and rent a movie or something…?"
Max bit his lip. His heart was screaming 'yes' and his mind was screaming 'no'. He didn't want to hold Liz back with his problems. "I don't think that's a very good idea…"
Liz recovered quickly, her heart panging with the rejection, "Well, I mean like, with Maria, Michael, Tess, Kyle, Isabel and Alex. My parents are going out of town and I thought it would make a nice change of scenery for a hangout spot."
"Oh." Max nodded, "Yeah. We can do that. I mean… I'm free." He felt stupid for assuming that she meant a date. Of course Liz would never want to date him.
"But…if you ever change your mind about… you know… going out with just me… let me know." Liz smiled weakly.
Max shook his head, "I don't think relationships are my thing."
"Everyone has a chance to be happy." Liz replied, her smile strengthening. She took one of his hands and led him into the main area of the restaurant.
After lunch, Michael took Max back to his house.
They were in the kitchen getting a drink of water when Michael turned to Max, "I'm going out tonight. With Maria."
Max nodded.
"Are you going to be okay here with my parents?" He scratched at his eyebrow, "Isabel told me to ask you. It's a stupid question, I know, but just give me a rational answer so I can report back to her and she'll be happy. Get her off of both of our backs."
"I'll be fine." Max shrugged, "It's not a big deal."
"I know." Michael replied, "Isabel… she's just worried, I guess. But her worrying is seriously getting on my nerves."
Another smile tugged Max's lips, "Yeah, mine too. She's good for that."
"I guess."
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Michael turned to Max, "Hey, so, do you want to go to Ruidoso with me on Saturday? I want to go check out a few cars."
It would be good for him to get out of the small town. "Yeah, sure."
"Awesome." Michael placed his glass in the dishwasher and then sprinted up the stairs, calling over his shoulder, "See ya."
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Michael was long gone. Diane and Phillip were downstairs in the living room, watching the news. Max had brought out his 'friend' again, but he was just staring down at the glinting blade.
Hanging out with Isabel, Liz and Michael today had done wonders to decrease Max's confidence in his decisions lately. He was beginning to wonder why he was doing the things he was doing.
When he allowed himself to, he could actually feel traces of happiness in his body. Was that such a bad thing? Hank had always said so.
Hank was the constant nagging notion over Max's shoulder that told him that he was nothing. Told him he was a piece of shit. That he should just disappear, to make everyone else's lives more bearable.
But, then again, Hank was in jail. People go to jail for breaking the law. Hank had broken the laws of humanity.
Did that mean that Hank had been preaching the wrong things to Max all of these years?
Max heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He knew that they were going to end in his room. Somehow, he just knew.
He hid the knife under his mattress hurriedly, sitting down on the side of the bed just as Diane's head popped in, "Do you want to come down with us, Max? You shouldn't have to sit up here all alone."
Max took a deep breath and, without thinking, took the plunge. His heart began racing as soon as the words left his lips, "Actually, uh, can I talk to you? And Phillip, too?"
"Of course." Diane nodded, pushing the door further open and stepping in. She called down to Phillip and then looked back to Max, "Is everything okay?"
Her words dripped of concern.
Max shook his head. He wasn't going to lie anymore. And he certainly wasn't going to turn back now. He needed to do this. Not for himself. For everyone around them. He was holding them back, and they were all so ready to move forward.
Phillip reached the room and looked between Max and Diane with confusion, "Anything wrong?"
"Max says that he has something that he needs to tell us." Diane took Philip's hand and they both looked expectantly at Max.
Max kept his eyes on the ground as he spoke, "Most of my life… I've lived with someone… and all that I was taught was that…" He took a deep breath, trying to regain his confidence. It was slowly disappearing on him, "…that I was, well… shit."
"Max, honey…" Diane took a step forward, but Max shook his head and she stopped in her tracks. He wasn't done.
"And, well, I've believed him. I believed every word that he ever told me. I still do."
Phillip let his confusion and anger towards a man locked up get the better of him, "You… you…"
He raised his hand to put it to his brow, but Max took it as something else. The boy shrunk on his bed, raising his arms in front of his face. A new degree of vulnerability peaked that neither Phillip nor Diane had ever wanted to see in a child before.
Max had thought that Phillip was going to strike him.
"Max…" Phillip lowered his hand, very slowly, not breaking his gaze on him, "I'm not Hank. I won't hurt you."
"I'm sorry." Max whispered, lowering his gaze to the ground. "I can't help it… I…" He choked back the tears that he didn't know had been building. He didn't know how it had gotten to this point.
"We're not going to blame you for what that monster has done to you." Diane spoke softly, trying to make him understand. He needed to know that people were there for him. He was going to know that fact, even if it killed them to get to that point. "You are your own person. Hank isn't in control of you anymore."
Max kept his gaze locked on the ground. He felt so stupid, slowly exposing Phillip and Diane to his emotional scars. But he needed to. He couldn't go on living like this forever. If not for him, for Liz and Isabel. Even Michael, Phillip and Diane. They deserved to know him, not the shell of him. He had been selfish thinking that he could drive everyone away. His own delusions had caused him unfit to deserve their companionship, not Hank's actions and words.
And Max suddenly knew what he had to do. He needed to show his weakness. He raised his eye level to match Phillip's and then Diane's.
Diane gasped, her heart literally aching at what she saw. Her eyes instantaneously watered. She had never seen so much pain in any person. Max had once more made them believe that he was better off than he actually was.
Max lifted himself slightly off the mattress, sliding his hand underneath it. He withdrew the knife and laid it on the bed. He sat down once more and then pushed up his sleeves, newly thankful for Isabel interrupting his healing that very morning. He laid his arms, forearms up, on his knees and ignored Diane's gasps as she took in his wounds. He spoke softly, his voice unwavering, and his eyes shimmering with tears, staring directly into Diane's, "I need help."
Diane burst into tears, sinking next to Max on the bed, pulling him into a hug. She stroked the back of his head, speaking in a strong voice, "It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. You did a good thing by telling someone. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud."
She was proud of him. Her words echoed in Max's head over and over again. No adult had ever expressed their happiness over Max's actions. Only teachers, and they had to say those things about everyone. He had done something right.
And, for the first time in his life, Max hugged someone back. He clung to Diane like a child clings to a mother, fearing what would happen when he let go. The tears that he had been holding sprung free, breaching the high dam that he had built for himself.
He allowed himself to be completely exposed to another person. And he realized that maybe, just maybe, people did care about him. Really, truly care about him.
Phillip left the room silently, closing the door on the view of his wife and a very broken child. He felt his eyes misting.
Diane continued to soothe the boy that was falling apart in her arms. She stroked his hair lovingly, whispering softly into his ear, "It's okay. You're going to be okay. We're here for you. We're all here for you. I'm so proud of you."
Max had finally cracked open the door to let them in. He was ready to move forward.
Granted, he wouldn't be completely healed. Not at all close to normal. He would need therapy and the constant support of his family and friends, but Max was willing to try. And that made all the difference in the world.
TBC...
Last edited by sprayadhesive on Sun Mar 11, 2007 4:31 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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sprayadhesive
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 187
- Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:19 pm
- Location: Georgia
There were so many amazing fics put up for awards, and I just want to wish all of the winners, runners-up, and nominees congratulations! This voting session has been near impossible to pick just one winner while voting (at least, for me it was), especially with all of the addictive, mind-blowing, wonderful stories being posted right now.
But, can I just say... wow. Because this has absolutely blown my mind. Thank you to everyone who's read the story and who voted for me. I can't believe that I even got runner-up, it completely blindsided me.
Best Villain - Hank
But, can I just say... wow. Because this has absolutely blown my mind. Thank you to everyone who's read the story and who voted for me. I can't believe that I even got runner-up, it completely blindsided me.
Best Villain - Hank
Last edited by sprayadhesive on Fri Jan 12, 2007 12:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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sprayadhesive
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 187
- Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:19 pm
- Location: Georgia
As a side note... the thing with the water hose... one of my guy friends did that to me over the summer. Except to the nth degree compared to what's in here.
Part 24
Michael came home from his date, and he felt like he was walking on air. Everything had gone smoothly. Plus, he got the best goodnight kiss that he’d ever had to date.
He found his father in the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea and reading the sports section from that morning’s paper.
“Hey Dad.” Michael looked around the kitchen for Diane. She was usually around Phillip before bed, “Where’s Mom?”
“She’s upstairs with Max.” Phillip looked towards the ceiling. He looked to Michael quickly, “Don’t go up there. They need some privacy.”
Phillip knew how uncomfortable Max was with revealing his problems. It was why he had gone downstairs and allowed the child some seclusion.
“What’s she doing?” Michael asked hesitantly. The last thing he and Isabel needed was his parents interfering and having Max take off completely. He didn’t think Isabel would be able to handle it.
Phillip shrugged, “Talking. Max will tell you about it if he wants to.”
Michael stared at Phillip blankly. Max didn’t talk to people. He just didn’t.
“How was your date?” Phillip put down the paper and gazed at Michael expectantly.
“Uh… good. We had a good time.”
Phillip nodded, “Good. I like Maria. She’s a good girl. Lots of spunk.” He folded the paper under his arm and then stood up, putting the tea cup into the dishwasher, “Well, I’m off to bed. Goodnight, Michael.”
“Night, Dad.” Michael responded, still slightly bewildered by the mysterious events that had happened while he was gone.
After his dad disappeared down the hallway and into his bedroom, Michael crept up the stairs and put his ear to Max’s door.
The door opened suddenly and a creeping Diane admonished Michael with her gaze. She put a finger up to her lips and closed the door silently behind her.
“What’s going on?” Michael demanded.
Diane shushed him and walked towards the top of the stairs, “He’ll tell you if he wants to. How was your date?”
“Good.” Michael replied, his mind still on Max.
Diane smiled, “I’m glad. I’m going to go to bed. Night.” She kissed him on the forehead and went down the stairs.
Michael shook his head and went over to Max’s door, opening it slowly. Everything appeared normal inside. He stared at the sleeping form of Max, hoping to find answers, but nothing was given to him. He had to wait until morning, to see if Max would even tell him.
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Liz and Isabel were beyond confused when Michael relayed the events of the night before to them. Isabel frowned, “I don’t get it. Your mom was upstairs talking to Max?”
“Yes!” Michael repeated for what felt like the fiftieth time.
Liz shook her head slowly, “I can’t understand it. It’s almost incomprehensible. They were talking. And when she left the room, he was sleeping?”
“Yes!” He repeated again.
Isabel and Liz both fell into a thoughtful silence. The only thing running through their minds was that it appeared as if Max had opened up to Diane. If he had, what had he told her? About being an alien? About Hank? Why he wouldn’t let anyone in?
Isabel checked her watch and gathered up her things, “I’ve got to go. I have to go make an appointment with a doctor. I’ll talk to you guys later, though, okay? And if you see Max, will you ask him to come by my place later on? I really want to talk to him.”
Michael nodded and Liz waved goodbye. Isabel walked down Main Street and turned down a side street. She opened up the door to an office and walked inside.
The reception area was tastefully decorated. She walked straight to the desk without looking at anyone and then waited for the receptionist to give her some attention.
After ten minutes, Isabel had paid the psychiatrist for her first visit and prepaid for the next three. She was turning to leave when the door to Dr. Hannah Richfield’s office opened. Max stepped out.
Their eyes caught one another’s and they both stood in shocked silence for a few moments. Max’s eyes burned with shame.
Isabel spoke in a reserved whisper, “What are you doing here?”
Max looked like a deer caught in headlights, “I uh…”
“You’re going to Dr. Richfield?” Isabel spoke quietly still.
Max shook his head, “No.” He couldn’t lie to her. Her gaze was far too innocent, “Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered softly.
“I didn’t know. Not until this morning.” Diane told him that she was going to clean his room while he was gone. He knew that she was looking for knives or other sharp things he could hurt himself with. She wouldn’t find anything. The knife was all there was.
“How did they get you to go?” Isabel was now starting to connect the dots. Max talking with Diane last night, him coming to therapy…
“They told me I needed it.” It was true. Max had been very reluctant to go, but Diane had told him that if he was serious about moving on with his life, he needed to sort through the problems in his past.
Isabel was shocked, but please. Still, there were things that she didn’t understand, “How did they know that you needed it?”
“I told them that I wanted help.”
He kept his eyes adverted from her. He didn’t want to have this discussion. He had wanted to keep it a complete secret.
“You… what?” She was shocked.
Max shook his head, “I don’t want to talk about it. Not with you, not with anyone. And I don’t want you walking around, telling everyone. It’s my life and I deserve the privacy.”
“Max, I wasn’t going to tell anyone… I… I haven’t told anyone that I’m going here. No one, except for you.”
“Okay.” He stated simply.
“Liz and Michael are looking for you.”
“Okay.” His mind raced. Dr. Richfield had told him that she wanted him to follow his heart through something that he did this week, not his mind. The only thing his heart was telling him to do was to talk to Liz… let her in a little.
He cleared his throat, “I think… I mean… I should go. Michael wants me to go check out some cars with him soon, so I’ve got to work some extra hours to make up for it.”
Isabel nodded numbly, “Okay.”
Max left Isabel, and arrived at the UFO Center shortly after. Things had been stressful with work lately. Milton wanted to keep Max working the minimum amount of hours. Max wanted to work the maximum amount of hours. Whatever was happening, it clearly wasn’t working out.
He put on his vest and went into the workroom to check the scheduled staff hours. His face immediately fell. He was only on there for two hours every Wednesday and four hours every Saturdays.
He immediately went into Milton’s office, “There’s a problem with my hours.”
“It’s not a problem, there wasn’t a mistake. I don’t think that you need to be working as hard as you do.” Milton replied coolly.
Max frowned, “Why does it matter all of the sudden? I used to be able as much as I wanted to.”
“Things are different now.”
“What’s different?! You found out about my home life, so what? That doesn’t change my performance here or the fact that I need the money. I can’t live off of six hours of work every week.”
“Guerin, I like you, but you’re pushing yourself too hard and that’s the end of it. These are the hours that you’re getting. End of argument. And you’re not working today. Go home.”
Max stormed out of the office. Why didn’t anyone understand how much he needed the job?! He threw his vest back into the locker and stormed up the stairs. Outside, he was instantly faced with Liz.
She had just served someone at an outside table and was now smiling and waving at him from across the street.
Max raised his hand and put it back down awkwardly. He crossed the street slowly and came to a stop in front of Liz.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Max.” She smiled, “How are you?”
“I’m uh… okay.” He shrugged.
Liz nodded, “I’m glad.”
“Uh… I… I was thinking about renting a movie tonight and well, I was uh… I was wondering if you…” He stared at his feet, trying to bore a hole into them with his eyes, “weshouldwatchthemovietogether.”
“…What?” Liz blinked.
“You… and me… I mean…” His face fell, “Never mind. It wasn’t important.”
Liz frowned, “Oh, well…” She shifted awkwardly.
“Um… I’ll talk to you later.” Max turned to walk away. Something stopped him, though. He glanced back over his shoulder and saw how Liz was walking in to the Crashdown, straight through the restaurant into the backroom.
He felt terrible. He was a coward. He had the opportunity and he let it slip away from him.
He hung his head in defeat and headed off toward the Evans home. He had told Diane that he would be home for lunch, after all.
Diane was waiting with food on the table when Max entered the kitchen. She gave him a soft smile, “How did it go?”
“Good.” Max replied blankly. It was kind of true, at least. He hadn’t gone pouring out his soul to the therapist. He told her what he thought she wanted to hear. It seemed to please her, so he figured he would get good reports and maybe he could throw in a real issue once in a while, if he wanted to.
Diane smiled, “I’m glad. Are you hungry?”
Max shrugged. He wasn’t much of anything right now. He felt like he had failed Liz, yet again.
Diane’s smile turned upside down, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s not ‘nothing’.”
Max ran his fingers through his hair. Hank had never asked him about his problems. He always just ignored him. “I just… I don’t know.”
“You can tell me about it, Max.” Diane urged him to continue.
Max shrugged, “It’s really not important.”
“Is it about a girl?”
Max’s head snapped up. How did she know that?
Diane gave a knowing smile, “Liz?”
“Uh… no. There is no girl.” He replied adamantly. He wasn’t ready to give someone access to all points of his life. He didn’t think that he would ever be ready for that.
Diane’s mouth opened slightly and she closed it hurriedly, “Oh. Okay.”
Max could tell that she didn’t buy it. He faked a yawn, “I think I’m going to go take a nap.”
“Okay.” Diane replied softly, “Phillip and I are going out for another dinner for his firm tonight. We might not be here when you wake up.”
Max nodded.
“Oh, and don’t forget… the trial’s next week. We should go shopping for something nice for you to wear soon.”
Max’s insides squirmed. He would be facing his worst fear in a week.
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Max awoke to a soft knock on his door. He checked the time: 8:00.
He groaned and rolled out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. He walked over to the door and opened it, yawning widely.
Liz giggled, “Why, hello to you, too.”
Max’s eyes bugged, “Liz! I uh…”
“…Just woke up?” She smiled smugly.
Max nodded, his mouth hanging open. He couldn’t believe she was here, especially after he had screwed up his chance with her that very afternoon.
He ran his fingers through his already tousled hair, “What’re you… what’re you doing here?”
She held up a few bags, “I brought Chinese and a movie.”
“One day, you’re going to get sick of me and my problems, Liz.” He responded with a sad smile.
“One day, you’re going to realize that I’m not going anywhere.” She replied with a half smile. “Now come downstairs and hang out with me. I banished Michael to Maria’s, so we’ll have some privacy.”
Max’s mouth gaped for a moment, “I uh… I just don’t know if it’s okay with Diane and Phillip if we’re here alone… I don’t want to break the rules when they’ve bent over backwards for me…”
Liz smiled, “I asked Diane if it was okay earlier. She was fine with it.”
“Uh…” He scratched behind his ear sheepishly. He didn’t know if he could trust himself with Liz. She was… perfect. He… wasn’t.
“C’mon. I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer.” She replied. She took him by the hand and led him through the upstairs hallway and down the stairs, sitting him on the couch.
Max had been too shocked to respond. He watched as Liz put the movie in and then sat on the couch next to him. She was a comfortable distance away, not too close and not too far. It eased his mind severely.
She placed the Chinese on the table and Max helped her unload the food. There were a surprising number of boxes in it. Max raised an eyebrow, “Hungry?”
“Not too much, but I was hoping you were.” She replied, grabbing a carton of fried rice and a fork.
Max glanced at her, “I eat.”
“You don’t eat. You play with your food.” She replied, idly munching at the rice while watching the FBI warnings flash on the screen.
Max felt his right ear heat up. It only happened in times of embarrassment, “I do not.”
“Mhm.” Liz replied, smirking a little.
Max indignantly grabbed a carton of lo mien. He frowned at Liz before taking a few heaping bites.
Liz smiled in satisfaction.
Max groaned next to Liz as the title menu for the DVD came up. He looked at her with a pained expression, “You can’t be serious? A Walk to Remember?”
“Have you ever even seen it?” Liz shot back. At Max’s slow shake of the head, she laughed, “It’s my guilty pleasure.”
Max conceded to defeat and the two watched the movie in a comfortable silence. Liz couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Max occasionally. He was adorable with his messy, slept-on hair. Their Chinese was long forgotten on the table.
But, her slight distraction still didn’t take away from her enchantment with the storyline.
When Landon and Jamie got married, tears pooled in her eyes. She started crying silently immediately after the unveiling of Jamie’s death.
Max noticed her tears immediately. He put his reservations aside and pulled Liz into his arms, leaning her back against his chest.
The measure of comfort and safety Max felt was more than he had ever felt in his life. Here, holding Liz in his arms, it just felt… right.
Liz sniffed and wiped a few tears from her face.
Max smiled slightly and lowered her face over hers. He gingerly kissed the last tear off of her cheek. Liz smiled in reverence of Max’s gesture. She whispered to him, her voice airy, “Thank you.”
Liz shifted herself so that she was seated closely to Max, but able to see him better than before. She smiled lightly, but another whisper of a tear was making its presence known just beneath her right eye.
Max lifted a thumb and gently wiped it away. There were no words spoken. He watched as Liz and he gravitated closer to each other, but just before their lips touched, he pulled back. Max swallowed thickly and then whispered, his throat dry from the raw energy being passed between them. “I can’t.”
Liz pulled slightly away, turning her head from him in embarrassment.
Max reached forward and cupped his chin before she could turn it fully. He softly turned her face back to his. He brought his lips to her forehead and closed his eyes, begging for that to be the right action. He wanted her to know that, while he wasn’t emotionally ready for that step yet, he didn’t want them to be apart completely.
When he withdrew, Liz’s eyes were closed. They fluttered open. The exchange between them was beyond words. As they stared into each other’s eyes, Max was overwhelmed. A pressure in his chest was accompanied by breathlessness and a warm tingling. The feelings had never before occupied his body all at one time.
Their fingers intertwined and their attention shifted to the television, only to find that the credits had begun. Max apologized softly, “You missed the end…”
“It’s okay.” Liz replied, squeezing his hand in reassurance, “I’ve seen the ending before. This was much better.”
Max felt a fluttering in his stomach. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. Liz leaned her head on his shoulder and they sat in silence, watching the credits roll by.
Max admitted shakily, “I could get used to this.”
Liz smiled again, her heart feeling like it was going to burst with happiness, “Me too.”
They soon realized that they had to let the moment pass. The title menu came back up and they both parted, stretching their muscles. Max stood up, yawning and stretching his arms over his head. He frowned at Liz’s laugh, “I guess you don’t want any cookies, then?”
“Cookies?” Liz said excitedly. She sniffed the air, pouting, “I don’t smell anything.”
Max pointed to the kitchen, “Well, I was hoping you’d help me make them.”
Liz nodded, “Definitely.”
They went into the kitchen and Max brought out the cookie dough. Liz preheated the oven and browsed around the oven for a cookie tray. She found one and placed it on the counter by Max.
Together, they scooped the cookie dough onto the tray. The tray was almost filled when Liz catapulted a spoonful of cookie dough at Max’s face.
Max stared at her in shock and then grabbed the fallen dough off the counter and smeared the dough down her cheek.
Liz gasped in utter disbelief. She shook her head, her mouth forming an open mouthed smile. With a mischievous glint, she grabbed one of the designated cookies and pressed it into his forehead.
Max slowly shook his head, a grand idea forming in his head. He grabbed the hose from the back of the sink and turned on the water.
Liz slowly backed away, “You wouldn’t…”
Max pressed down the trigger and a stream of water hit Liz in the face. Max released it and Liz sputtered, “…dare.”
She took a few paper towels and wiped her face. She bit her lower lip, a teasing shadow in her eye, “I can’t believe you just did that!”
“Me neither.” He laughed involuntarily.
Liz walked over to Max, her feet slipping ever so slightly on the large puddle on the floor. She slid into Max’s arms.
She wrinkled her nose, smiling broadly, “There, now you’re wet, too. That’s what you get.”
Max eyed her, “Oh yeah?”
Liz pretended to ponder it and then nodded, “Yeah.”
Max laughed, “Good.” He took the paper towels out of Liz’s hand. He realized that he was still holding her and helped her stand up on her own.
Max went under the sink for two dish towels and placed them on the floor. Liz finished spooning the cookies onto the tray and placed them in the oven.
When she looked up, she laughed out loud. Max was skating around on the water-logged floor with the towels under his feet.
Max looked back at her, unsure of what exactly her laughter was directed at. He frowned when he saw her staring at him, “What? Did you have a better method?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” Liz shrugged.
Max picked up the soaking wet towels and padded around the area, making sure it was dry. He deposited them in the laundry room and headed back into the kitchen.
As Max stood there, watching Liz from across the kitchen, he had never felt such an overwhelming notion of satisfaction. He felt like he was doing something right, for a change. He joined Liz at the kitchen table and the two sat, idly talking, holding hands all the while. Max was getting his strength to do everything he had done tonight from Liz.
They didn’t hear Diane and Phillip enter the house. It wasn’t until a minute later, when the timer for the cookies went off, did Liz or Max even realize that they had come into the kitchen at all.
TBC...
Part 24
Michael came home from his date, and he felt like he was walking on air. Everything had gone smoothly. Plus, he got the best goodnight kiss that he’d ever had to date.
He found his father in the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea and reading the sports section from that morning’s paper.
“Hey Dad.” Michael looked around the kitchen for Diane. She was usually around Phillip before bed, “Where’s Mom?”
“She’s upstairs with Max.” Phillip looked towards the ceiling. He looked to Michael quickly, “Don’t go up there. They need some privacy.”
Phillip knew how uncomfortable Max was with revealing his problems. It was why he had gone downstairs and allowed the child some seclusion.
“What’s she doing?” Michael asked hesitantly. The last thing he and Isabel needed was his parents interfering and having Max take off completely. He didn’t think Isabel would be able to handle it.
Phillip shrugged, “Talking. Max will tell you about it if he wants to.”
Michael stared at Phillip blankly. Max didn’t talk to people. He just didn’t.
“How was your date?” Phillip put down the paper and gazed at Michael expectantly.
“Uh… good. We had a good time.”
Phillip nodded, “Good. I like Maria. She’s a good girl. Lots of spunk.” He folded the paper under his arm and then stood up, putting the tea cup into the dishwasher, “Well, I’m off to bed. Goodnight, Michael.”
“Night, Dad.” Michael responded, still slightly bewildered by the mysterious events that had happened while he was gone.
After his dad disappeared down the hallway and into his bedroom, Michael crept up the stairs and put his ear to Max’s door.
The door opened suddenly and a creeping Diane admonished Michael with her gaze. She put a finger up to her lips and closed the door silently behind her.
“What’s going on?” Michael demanded.
Diane shushed him and walked towards the top of the stairs, “He’ll tell you if he wants to. How was your date?”
“Good.” Michael replied, his mind still on Max.
Diane smiled, “I’m glad. I’m going to go to bed. Night.” She kissed him on the forehead and went down the stairs.
Michael shook his head and went over to Max’s door, opening it slowly. Everything appeared normal inside. He stared at the sleeping form of Max, hoping to find answers, but nothing was given to him. He had to wait until morning, to see if Max would even tell him.
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Liz and Isabel were beyond confused when Michael relayed the events of the night before to them. Isabel frowned, “I don’t get it. Your mom was upstairs talking to Max?”
“Yes!” Michael repeated for what felt like the fiftieth time.
Liz shook her head slowly, “I can’t understand it. It’s almost incomprehensible. They were talking. And when she left the room, he was sleeping?”
“Yes!” He repeated again.
Isabel and Liz both fell into a thoughtful silence. The only thing running through their minds was that it appeared as if Max had opened up to Diane. If he had, what had he told her? About being an alien? About Hank? Why he wouldn’t let anyone in?
Isabel checked her watch and gathered up her things, “I’ve got to go. I have to go make an appointment with a doctor. I’ll talk to you guys later, though, okay? And if you see Max, will you ask him to come by my place later on? I really want to talk to him.”
Michael nodded and Liz waved goodbye. Isabel walked down Main Street and turned down a side street. She opened up the door to an office and walked inside.
The reception area was tastefully decorated. She walked straight to the desk without looking at anyone and then waited for the receptionist to give her some attention.
After ten minutes, Isabel had paid the psychiatrist for her first visit and prepaid for the next three. She was turning to leave when the door to Dr. Hannah Richfield’s office opened. Max stepped out.
Their eyes caught one another’s and they both stood in shocked silence for a few moments. Max’s eyes burned with shame.
Isabel spoke in a reserved whisper, “What are you doing here?”
Max looked like a deer caught in headlights, “I uh…”
“You’re going to Dr. Richfield?” Isabel spoke quietly still.
Max shook his head, “No.” He couldn’t lie to her. Her gaze was far too innocent, “Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered softly.
“I didn’t know. Not until this morning.” Diane told him that she was going to clean his room while he was gone. He knew that she was looking for knives or other sharp things he could hurt himself with. She wouldn’t find anything. The knife was all there was.
“How did they get you to go?” Isabel was now starting to connect the dots. Max talking with Diane last night, him coming to therapy…
“They told me I needed it.” It was true. Max had been very reluctant to go, but Diane had told him that if he was serious about moving on with his life, he needed to sort through the problems in his past.
Isabel was shocked, but please. Still, there were things that she didn’t understand, “How did they know that you needed it?”
“I told them that I wanted help.”
He kept his eyes adverted from her. He didn’t want to have this discussion. He had wanted to keep it a complete secret.
“You… what?” She was shocked.
Max shook his head, “I don’t want to talk about it. Not with you, not with anyone. And I don’t want you walking around, telling everyone. It’s my life and I deserve the privacy.”
“Max, I wasn’t going to tell anyone… I… I haven’t told anyone that I’m going here. No one, except for you.”
“Okay.” He stated simply.
“Liz and Michael are looking for you.”
“Okay.” His mind raced. Dr. Richfield had told him that she wanted him to follow his heart through something that he did this week, not his mind. The only thing his heart was telling him to do was to talk to Liz… let her in a little.
He cleared his throat, “I think… I mean… I should go. Michael wants me to go check out some cars with him soon, so I’ve got to work some extra hours to make up for it.”
Isabel nodded numbly, “Okay.”
Max left Isabel, and arrived at the UFO Center shortly after. Things had been stressful with work lately. Milton wanted to keep Max working the minimum amount of hours. Max wanted to work the maximum amount of hours. Whatever was happening, it clearly wasn’t working out.
He put on his vest and went into the workroom to check the scheduled staff hours. His face immediately fell. He was only on there for two hours every Wednesday and four hours every Saturdays.
He immediately went into Milton’s office, “There’s a problem with my hours.”
“It’s not a problem, there wasn’t a mistake. I don’t think that you need to be working as hard as you do.” Milton replied coolly.
Max frowned, “Why does it matter all of the sudden? I used to be able as much as I wanted to.”
“Things are different now.”
“What’s different?! You found out about my home life, so what? That doesn’t change my performance here or the fact that I need the money. I can’t live off of six hours of work every week.”
“Guerin, I like you, but you’re pushing yourself too hard and that’s the end of it. These are the hours that you’re getting. End of argument. And you’re not working today. Go home.”
Max stormed out of the office. Why didn’t anyone understand how much he needed the job?! He threw his vest back into the locker and stormed up the stairs. Outside, he was instantly faced with Liz.
She had just served someone at an outside table and was now smiling and waving at him from across the street.
Max raised his hand and put it back down awkwardly. He crossed the street slowly and came to a stop in front of Liz.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Max.” She smiled, “How are you?”
“I’m uh… okay.” He shrugged.
Liz nodded, “I’m glad.”
“Uh… I… I was thinking about renting a movie tonight and well, I was uh… I was wondering if you…” He stared at his feet, trying to bore a hole into them with his eyes, “weshouldwatchthemovietogether.”
“…What?” Liz blinked.
“You… and me… I mean…” His face fell, “Never mind. It wasn’t important.”
Liz frowned, “Oh, well…” She shifted awkwardly.
“Um… I’ll talk to you later.” Max turned to walk away. Something stopped him, though. He glanced back over his shoulder and saw how Liz was walking in to the Crashdown, straight through the restaurant into the backroom.
He felt terrible. He was a coward. He had the opportunity and he let it slip away from him.
He hung his head in defeat and headed off toward the Evans home. He had told Diane that he would be home for lunch, after all.
Diane was waiting with food on the table when Max entered the kitchen. She gave him a soft smile, “How did it go?”
“Good.” Max replied blankly. It was kind of true, at least. He hadn’t gone pouring out his soul to the therapist. He told her what he thought she wanted to hear. It seemed to please her, so he figured he would get good reports and maybe he could throw in a real issue once in a while, if he wanted to.
Diane smiled, “I’m glad. Are you hungry?”
Max shrugged. He wasn’t much of anything right now. He felt like he had failed Liz, yet again.
Diane’s smile turned upside down, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s not ‘nothing’.”
Max ran his fingers through his hair. Hank had never asked him about his problems. He always just ignored him. “I just… I don’t know.”
“You can tell me about it, Max.” Diane urged him to continue.
Max shrugged, “It’s really not important.”
“Is it about a girl?”
Max’s head snapped up. How did she know that?
Diane gave a knowing smile, “Liz?”
“Uh… no. There is no girl.” He replied adamantly. He wasn’t ready to give someone access to all points of his life. He didn’t think that he would ever be ready for that.
Diane’s mouth opened slightly and she closed it hurriedly, “Oh. Okay.”
Max could tell that she didn’t buy it. He faked a yawn, “I think I’m going to go take a nap.”
“Okay.” Diane replied softly, “Phillip and I are going out for another dinner for his firm tonight. We might not be here when you wake up.”
Max nodded.
“Oh, and don’t forget… the trial’s next week. We should go shopping for something nice for you to wear soon.”
Max’s insides squirmed. He would be facing his worst fear in a week.
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Max awoke to a soft knock on his door. He checked the time: 8:00.
He groaned and rolled out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. He walked over to the door and opened it, yawning widely.
Liz giggled, “Why, hello to you, too.”
Max’s eyes bugged, “Liz! I uh…”
“…Just woke up?” She smiled smugly.
Max nodded, his mouth hanging open. He couldn’t believe she was here, especially after he had screwed up his chance with her that very afternoon.
He ran his fingers through his already tousled hair, “What’re you… what’re you doing here?”
She held up a few bags, “I brought Chinese and a movie.”
“One day, you’re going to get sick of me and my problems, Liz.” He responded with a sad smile.
“One day, you’re going to realize that I’m not going anywhere.” She replied with a half smile. “Now come downstairs and hang out with me. I banished Michael to Maria’s, so we’ll have some privacy.”
Max’s mouth gaped for a moment, “I uh… I just don’t know if it’s okay with Diane and Phillip if we’re here alone… I don’t want to break the rules when they’ve bent over backwards for me…”
Liz smiled, “I asked Diane if it was okay earlier. She was fine with it.”
“Uh…” He scratched behind his ear sheepishly. He didn’t know if he could trust himself with Liz. She was… perfect. He… wasn’t.
“C’mon. I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer.” She replied. She took him by the hand and led him through the upstairs hallway and down the stairs, sitting him on the couch.
Max had been too shocked to respond. He watched as Liz put the movie in and then sat on the couch next to him. She was a comfortable distance away, not too close and not too far. It eased his mind severely.
She placed the Chinese on the table and Max helped her unload the food. There were a surprising number of boxes in it. Max raised an eyebrow, “Hungry?”
“Not too much, but I was hoping you were.” She replied, grabbing a carton of fried rice and a fork.
Max glanced at her, “I eat.”
“You don’t eat. You play with your food.” She replied, idly munching at the rice while watching the FBI warnings flash on the screen.
Max felt his right ear heat up. It only happened in times of embarrassment, “I do not.”
“Mhm.” Liz replied, smirking a little.
Max indignantly grabbed a carton of lo mien. He frowned at Liz before taking a few heaping bites.
Liz smiled in satisfaction.
Max groaned next to Liz as the title menu for the DVD came up. He looked at her with a pained expression, “You can’t be serious? A Walk to Remember?”
“Have you ever even seen it?” Liz shot back. At Max’s slow shake of the head, she laughed, “It’s my guilty pleasure.”
Max conceded to defeat and the two watched the movie in a comfortable silence. Liz couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Max occasionally. He was adorable with his messy, slept-on hair. Their Chinese was long forgotten on the table.
But, her slight distraction still didn’t take away from her enchantment with the storyline.
When Landon and Jamie got married, tears pooled in her eyes. She started crying silently immediately after the unveiling of Jamie’s death.
Max noticed her tears immediately. He put his reservations aside and pulled Liz into his arms, leaning her back against his chest.
The measure of comfort and safety Max felt was more than he had ever felt in his life. Here, holding Liz in his arms, it just felt… right.
Liz sniffed and wiped a few tears from her face.
Max smiled slightly and lowered her face over hers. He gingerly kissed the last tear off of her cheek. Liz smiled in reverence of Max’s gesture. She whispered to him, her voice airy, “Thank you.”
Liz shifted herself so that she was seated closely to Max, but able to see him better than before. She smiled lightly, but another whisper of a tear was making its presence known just beneath her right eye.
Max lifted a thumb and gently wiped it away. There were no words spoken. He watched as Liz and he gravitated closer to each other, but just before their lips touched, he pulled back. Max swallowed thickly and then whispered, his throat dry from the raw energy being passed between them. “I can’t.”
Liz pulled slightly away, turning her head from him in embarrassment.
Max reached forward and cupped his chin before she could turn it fully. He softly turned her face back to his. He brought his lips to her forehead and closed his eyes, begging for that to be the right action. He wanted her to know that, while he wasn’t emotionally ready for that step yet, he didn’t want them to be apart completely.
When he withdrew, Liz’s eyes were closed. They fluttered open. The exchange between them was beyond words. As they stared into each other’s eyes, Max was overwhelmed. A pressure in his chest was accompanied by breathlessness and a warm tingling. The feelings had never before occupied his body all at one time.
Their fingers intertwined and their attention shifted to the television, only to find that the credits had begun. Max apologized softly, “You missed the end…”
“It’s okay.” Liz replied, squeezing his hand in reassurance, “I’ve seen the ending before. This was much better.”
Max felt a fluttering in his stomach. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. Liz leaned her head on his shoulder and they sat in silence, watching the credits roll by.
Max admitted shakily, “I could get used to this.”
Liz smiled again, her heart feeling like it was going to burst with happiness, “Me too.”
They soon realized that they had to let the moment pass. The title menu came back up and they both parted, stretching their muscles. Max stood up, yawning and stretching his arms over his head. He frowned at Liz’s laugh, “I guess you don’t want any cookies, then?”
“Cookies?” Liz said excitedly. She sniffed the air, pouting, “I don’t smell anything.”
Max pointed to the kitchen, “Well, I was hoping you’d help me make them.”
Liz nodded, “Definitely.”
They went into the kitchen and Max brought out the cookie dough. Liz preheated the oven and browsed around the oven for a cookie tray. She found one and placed it on the counter by Max.
Together, they scooped the cookie dough onto the tray. The tray was almost filled when Liz catapulted a spoonful of cookie dough at Max’s face.
Max stared at her in shock and then grabbed the fallen dough off the counter and smeared the dough down her cheek.
Liz gasped in utter disbelief. She shook her head, her mouth forming an open mouthed smile. With a mischievous glint, she grabbed one of the designated cookies and pressed it into his forehead.
Max slowly shook his head, a grand idea forming in his head. He grabbed the hose from the back of the sink and turned on the water.
Liz slowly backed away, “You wouldn’t…”
Max pressed down the trigger and a stream of water hit Liz in the face. Max released it and Liz sputtered, “…dare.”
She took a few paper towels and wiped her face. She bit her lower lip, a teasing shadow in her eye, “I can’t believe you just did that!”
“Me neither.” He laughed involuntarily.
Liz walked over to Max, her feet slipping ever so slightly on the large puddle on the floor. She slid into Max’s arms.
She wrinkled her nose, smiling broadly, “There, now you’re wet, too. That’s what you get.”
Max eyed her, “Oh yeah?”
Liz pretended to ponder it and then nodded, “Yeah.”
Max laughed, “Good.” He took the paper towels out of Liz’s hand. He realized that he was still holding her and helped her stand up on her own.
Max went under the sink for two dish towels and placed them on the floor. Liz finished spooning the cookies onto the tray and placed them in the oven.
When she looked up, she laughed out loud. Max was skating around on the water-logged floor with the towels under his feet.
Max looked back at her, unsure of what exactly her laughter was directed at. He frowned when he saw her staring at him, “What? Did you have a better method?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” Liz shrugged.
Max picked up the soaking wet towels and padded around the area, making sure it was dry. He deposited them in the laundry room and headed back into the kitchen.
As Max stood there, watching Liz from across the kitchen, he had never felt such an overwhelming notion of satisfaction. He felt like he was doing something right, for a change. He joined Liz at the kitchen table and the two sat, idly talking, holding hands all the while. Max was getting his strength to do everything he had done tonight from Liz.
They didn’t hear Diane and Phillip enter the house. It wasn’t until a minute later, when the timer for the cookies went off, did Liz or Max even realize that they had come into the kitchen at all.
TBC...
Last edited by sprayadhesive on Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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sprayadhesive
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 187
- Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:19 pm
- Location: Georgia
Part 25
Phillip and Diane were huddled around the kitchen table around lunchtime on Saturday. They were deep in conversation when Max crossed into the kitchen and sat down. Phillip noticed his entrance too late, and his attempt to hide the envelope that he and Diane had been discussing was futile.
Max eyed him, “What was that?”
Phillip and Diane looked at each other before Diane turned to Phillip, “It’s a hospital bill.”
“For me?” He swallowed thickly. He had forgotten about the expenses from that stay in the hospital. He was going to have to beg Milton for more hours, or he would have to go behind everyone’s back and get another job. Something else to add to the weight that he constantly felt on his back.
“Well, you’re under our care, now, so Phillip and I are going to take care of it.” Diane stated delicately. Her eyes never wavered; she kept them glued to Max to convey their unconditional support.
Max shook his head feverishly, “No. No, that’s not something you… I’m going to pay for it…”
“Honey, we want to pay for it.” Diane spoke gingerly, still trying to calm him and make him see eye to eye with their rationale, “The hospital visit… that wasn’t even your fault.”
“And we’re going to try to get monetary compensation for that from Hank, too.” Phillip added.
Max shook his head, “He doesn’t have savings. He cashed all of his paychecks – if he even went to work. I don’t even think he has a bank account.”
“Still, we want to pay for it. The money doesn’t matter to us. What matters is that the hospital was able to get you back on your feet. We would have paid any price for that.”
Max’s face fell as he thought of something else, “Hank didn’t have health insurance, did he? The fees would have been through the roof for him… he’s a smoker and a drinker. He wouldn’t even have thought to have a family plan. And even if he had it, it wouldn’t cover… why I was there… would it?”
Phillip somberly shook his head, “As far as we’ve been able to tell, he doesn’t have it at all.”
“How much is the bill?” Max demanded, feeling faint. Why hadn’t he anticipated this? His dream world had caused him to be blindsided.
“Max… we’re going to take care of it. Don’t worry about it.” Diane tried to dodge the figure.
“How much is it?” He repeated more firmly, holding on to the side of the table to support himself, now.
“$12,556.” Phillip replied gravely. He looked to Max.
Max sunk down in the chair next to him, placing his head in his hands, “Holy shit.”
Max ran the calculations in his head. He would never be able to pay that, not in the next five years, while still going to college. It probably wouldn’t even be practical to go to his last year of high school. He would have to give up that future and try to work out another one.
A bank would never give him a loan. A practically orphaned minor with no permanent place of residence… that would look good on the application.
He tried to muster up some sense of resolve, “Okay. It’ll be okay. I’ll work something out.”
But it was hard for him to think straight. He definitely needed that additional job, now. Something extremely well paying. And he had no idea how he was going to get it without people getting on his case.
“You don’t have to work something out.” Phillip shook his head, attempting to make Max meet his eyes. He failed. “Diane and I are going to cover the costs. The social worker put you into our custody, and we’re going to take care of you. I won’t have someone, a teenager, staying at my house and working himself to death to try and cover the cost of a bill that he shouldn’t be responsible for in the first place.”
Max spoke dully, all emotion gone from his voice once more, “It’s only temporary custody. They probably won’t keep me here for too long. I’ll have to worry about the bills eventually.”
“We’ll fight it if they try and take you, Max. No matter what they say, this is where you belong. You’re part of this family, whether you realize it or not.” Diane folded her hands over the tabletop, staring intently at Max.
“I don’t want to intrude. I’m a burden. Your lives were so much less complicated when they just involved Michael.”
“Maybe.” Diane smiled, “But I have never seen Michael open up to anyone like he opens up to you and Isabel. The three of you click like you’ve always been family, even before you met. Believe it or not, but that admiration that Michael held for the two of you rubbed off on me and Phillip. You two are part of our lives, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Max looked between Diane and Phillip. After all of these years, did he really have a family accepting him?
He couldn’t. He was a freak. He wasn’t worth it. Hank had told him that.
He would find some way to make money – lots of it. He would pay them back for every penny they had to spend on him.
Because he wasn’t supposed to have a family or loving parental figures. He was supposed to be alone.
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“How’s school going?” Dr. Hannah Richfield leaned back in her chair.
Max shrugged, “Better. Diane makes sure I keep up with all of my homework and studying. Milton’s got me working six hours a week, so I’ve got plenty of time.
“You sound a little bitter about that. Why?”
“Because. I’ve always worked. Why should I stop now?”
“What’s making you stop?”
“Diane, Phillip, Isabel… everyone. They think that I can’t handle it, that I was working myself to death.”
“Were you?”
“Did I have a choice?”
She shrugged back to him, brushing her short brown hair out of her eyes, “Do you think about your past often?”
“I don’t know.” A shadow of pain passed his eyes. Hannah noticed.
“Have you ever told anyone what happened the night before Sheriff Valenti and Liz found you?” Dr. Richfield sat up straighter in her chair, picking up on Max’s topic avoidance. He would make small talk with her, discuss little issues in his life, but he refused to allow the conversation to steer too close to Hank.
Max refused to answer her or meet her gaze. He looked paler than before.
“Okay. I pushed. I’m sorry.” She made a note on her notepad, “How’s Isabel? Have you talked to her lately?”
“No.”
“Why not?” She found Max’s sudden departure from the life of his sister very strange. “You two used to be very close.”
“The closer we got, the more damaged she became.” Max replied. “I was the cancer in her life. I removed myself.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I never made the right decisions when it came to her. I couldn’t protect her from everything. She got hurt. And I was the one that hurt her the most.”
“How so?”
“She says she can’t sleep at night. That she just hears me screaming.” Max shifted uncomfortably. Why had he just told her that?
“Maybe it’s her own guilt that’s making her hear those screams.”
Max stood up, pacing, “She’s got nothing to be guilty about! She didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Sometimes it’s hard to make people see things about themselves. Things that are staring them right in the face.”
Max could tell that she had a double meaning in that statement, and he didn’t like it. He clenched his jaw and sat back down on the couch, refusing to comment.
Dr. Richfield frowned. Max was starting to withdraw from the session. It never failed. “How’s your personal life? Your friends? Have you hung out with any of them lately?”
“I barely talk to Isabel. I barely talk to Michael, because he’s never home. Liz comes over and we hang out sometimes. That’s about it.”
“What about the others? Alex? Maria? Tess and Kyle?”
“They’re not my friends. I don’t know anything about them, and they hardly know anything about me. We just hang out occasionally because Michael’s dating Maria and Isabel’s dating Alex. It’s like… I don’t know… I only hang out with them when Michael and Isabel are hanging out with them. They invite me because they feel obligated to, not because they want to.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“…it doesn’t affect me.”
“Would you like to become their friend?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “It wouldn’t be like making friends. They would probably accept me, whether they liked me or not, just because of who my siblings are and what… happened.”
“I don’t think you’re giving them enough credit.”
“And I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. This is such a waste of my time.”
“Then why do you come for every session?”
“To make everyone around me happy. They’re not going to be happy or leave me alone until I at least appear to be happy.”
“So, is coming here just another part of your act?”
“What act?” He snapped.
Dr. Richfield stared at him calmly, “You pretending like everything’s okay.”
He stood abruptly. “I think that’s all for today.”
Dr. Richfield looked unsurprised. Max always ended the appointments early. How long they lasted was determined by how sensitive the material was that they were talking about.
“We’re never going to get anywhere if you keep hiding the real problems and not allowing the wounds to heal.”
“Who says I want to get anywhere?” was his only response. He closed the door behind him.
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“Maria, don’t overreact, but…” Michael put his hands up, expecting the explosion, even though he had advised Maria to the contrary.
Maria glared at him, “Did you forget about our lunch date?”
“I didn’t forget… I just…”
“Michael Evans!”
“The car show is this weekend and Max and I…”
“A car show?! You’re ditching me for a car show?! Seriously?!”
“Maria, c’mon!”
Maria looked over Michael’s shoulder, glancing at Max, sitting a few yards away in a booth, waiting for Michael, “You’re right. I’m sorry. Go and have fun. Be a good friend.”
Michael nodded and walked back over to Max. Max looked up, “We don’t have to go, you know. I’m fine just staying in Roswell. You should go out with Maria.”
“I go out with Maria like every night. We never get to hang out anymore.”
But, as the two walked out of the door, Max couldn’t help but notice the way that Michael’s head turned to look back at Maria.
Max shifted his attention to the yellow dotted line in the middle of the road. He could get rid of all of his problems in a second… just close his eyes and walk…
No. That wouldn’t be right.
Isabel needed him. Liz needed him. Michael couldn’t take care of them alone.
Michael started the car, “I was talking to my dad this morning. He said that if you were really interested in getting the motorcycle, he’d give it to you.”
Max’s eyes narrowed, “I don’t need or want handouts.”
“That’s what I thought you’d say.” Michael nodded, “He also said that if you didn’t go for that option, you could buy it and then pay him in installments, whenever you had the money for it.”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
“What is there to think about?”
Max stared ahead, out of the windshield, “Isabel’s going to be going to college in seven months. I don’t have very much saved up, and a lot of that’s going to be gone when I pay your parents back for the first set of hospital bills and then cover the rest of them…”
“Max,” Michael cut him off, “My parents said you don’t have to pay for that. They want to pay it for you. They need a way to feel like they’re helping, because no one did anything when you needed help the most.”
“They shouldn’t have had to pay for that.” Max gritted his teeth, “I can handle those bills.”
“You shouldn’t have to be worrying about this! You’re only sixteen!” Michael shook his head, his knuckles white on the steering wheel.
“Shut up, Michael.” Max snapped.
“No! It’s not fair.”
“Nothing is fair. Life isn’t fair!”
Michael shook his head, “That’s not true. Good things happen to people.”
“People.” Max emphasized, “Not aliens.”
“We might as well be human. We don’t use our powers that often. None of us want to find out about where we came from.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that we’re not normal.”
“Whatever, Max.” Michael knew when to pick his battles, “You’re trying to distract me from the subject, anyways. Why can’t you just let my parents give you the motorcycle? Or take my dad’s deal?”
“Because.” Max shook his head, “I have other things that I need to be worrying about paying for. I can’t afford it, okay? Drop it already.”
“No. That can’t be the only reason.”
Max listed them off: “I don’t need one. I don’t want one. I can’t afford one. That’s three reasons. Happy?”
Michael shook his head, “Not really.”
Max shrugged, “Oh well.”
Their morning didn’t improve much after that. Michael would try to reach out to Max and rekindle their friendship, but Max was constantly uninterested. He didn’t see a need for Michael to know about any of his problems.
Max was looking at an old corvette when Michael came up to him, offering him a soda as a form of a peace offering. Michael spoke tentatively, “I’m sorry. I was doing the ass thing again. I’ve got a problem with it, and you know it. We were supposed to just chill today.”
Max took the soda. He missed hanging out with Michael. He smirked, “Day’s not over yet.”
They walked down the lines of cars, commenting on each one and looking over the ones that the owners wanted to sell. Max had pointed out a few cars to Michael, but Michael hadn’t found one that he loved yet.
Max crossed his arms, “If you just pick one or concede to defeat, you could make it back to Roswell in time for dinner with Maria.”
Michael rolled his eyes, “We’ve still got a few hours. The ride back’s not that long.”
“If by a few, you mean two.” Max nodded.
“Anxious to get back for any particular reason?” Michael raised his eyebrows.
Max shrugged, “Maybe.”
“You do remember that my girlfriend is Maria Deluca, right? Gossip Goddess and best friend of Liz Parker?”
Max pretended to think about it for a minute, “Yeah, I think I remember you talking about her once… or twice… every ten minutes.”
Michael scowled, “I don’t talk about her that much.”
“You do too.” Max smirked.
“Well, she told me that you and Liz have been hanging out lately. Something about cookies and A Walk To Remember?” It was Michael’s turn to smirk.
Max’s cheeks tinged slightly, “Yeah. We have been.”
“Is she the reason that you’re so anxious to get back?”
“We’re supposed to be having dinner tonight at that new Italian restaurant.” Max stated like it was no big deal.
Michael shook his head disbelievingly, “What?! So… are you two… dating?”
“No.” Max replied quickly, “We’re just friends.”
“You don’t see me taking Tess out to some dinner, though, do you?” Michael contained his chuckling for a second and then laughed at his own joke.
“We’re not dating.” Max insisted, “She doesn’t even like me like that.”
“You’re delusional.” Michael whistled lowly.
Max glared at him, “I am not! I told her that I’m not looking for a relationship and she was okay with that. We’re just two friends, hanging out.”
Michael smirked again. Maria was on overdrive, trying to get the two of them together.
Michael laughed and patted Max on the back, “I give it a week before she’s got you wrapped around her finger. You’ll be jumping every time she wants anything, just wait.”
Max didn’t tell him that it was already like that. He would do anything to keep Liz happy. He loved seeing her smile.
“Have you called Isabel lately?” Michael asked, walking back towards their car. He had a few cards from the sellers that he had liked tucked safely into his back pocket. Hopefully, he’d have a new car by the end of the month.
Max groaned, “Not now, Michael. I don’t want to be in a bad mood for dinner.”
Michael nodded, but he didn’t stop, “I just want to ask you one question.” He held up his hands in his defense when Max shot him a look, “Just one. You don’t even have to answer it. Are you really starting to feel like you fit in or is all of this an act?”
Max didn’t answer.
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Four hours later, Max and Liz were outside of the Crashdown, saying goodbye.
“Are you going to be okay tonight?” Liz asked softly, the concern shining in her eyes. Max had been fidgeting all night.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” He responded lowly.
Liz shrugged, “You just seem different, like something major is bugging you. And tomorrow’s the trial, so I just wanted to make sure that you would be okay.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” Liz stepped forward, hugging him.
His muscles went rigid, but he somehow still managed to wrap his arms around her. He withdrew seconds after, but not before placing a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, I guess.”
“I’ll be at the courthouse tomorrow, Max. We all will.” Liz shook her head, “Did you think that we wouldn’t be there to support you through all of this?”
Max shook his head back, “No. Don’t come. I don’t want… Hank…” He shook his head once more. Hank would see them all if they came. What if they let him off? He would know all of their faces.
He didn’t want them to see how Hank looked at him, either.
Liz shifted nervously, “Well, we have to be. Phillip listed some of us as witnesses, if the case happens to get that involved. But he’s hoping that it’ll just be an open and closed thing.”
Max groaned. He was eating into their lives, yet again. “Fine. See you tomorrow morning.”
“Bye.” Liz muttered, aware of the colder shift in Max’s demeanor. She watched as he walked away, down the street and then turned into her apartment.
TBC...
Phillip and Diane were huddled around the kitchen table around lunchtime on Saturday. They were deep in conversation when Max crossed into the kitchen and sat down. Phillip noticed his entrance too late, and his attempt to hide the envelope that he and Diane had been discussing was futile.
Max eyed him, “What was that?”
Phillip and Diane looked at each other before Diane turned to Phillip, “It’s a hospital bill.”
“For me?” He swallowed thickly. He had forgotten about the expenses from that stay in the hospital. He was going to have to beg Milton for more hours, or he would have to go behind everyone’s back and get another job. Something else to add to the weight that he constantly felt on his back.
“Well, you’re under our care, now, so Phillip and I are going to take care of it.” Diane stated delicately. Her eyes never wavered; she kept them glued to Max to convey their unconditional support.
Max shook his head feverishly, “No. No, that’s not something you… I’m going to pay for it…”
“Honey, we want to pay for it.” Diane spoke gingerly, still trying to calm him and make him see eye to eye with their rationale, “The hospital visit… that wasn’t even your fault.”
“And we’re going to try to get monetary compensation for that from Hank, too.” Phillip added.
Max shook his head, “He doesn’t have savings. He cashed all of his paychecks – if he even went to work. I don’t even think he has a bank account.”
“Still, we want to pay for it. The money doesn’t matter to us. What matters is that the hospital was able to get you back on your feet. We would have paid any price for that.”
Max’s face fell as he thought of something else, “Hank didn’t have health insurance, did he? The fees would have been through the roof for him… he’s a smoker and a drinker. He wouldn’t even have thought to have a family plan. And even if he had it, it wouldn’t cover… why I was there… would it?”
Phillip somberly shook his head, “As far as we’ve been able to tell, he doesn’t have it at all.”
“How much is the bill?” Max demanded, feeling faint. Why hadn’t he anticipated this? His dream world had caused him to be blindsided.
“Max… we’re going to take care of it. Don’t worry about it.” Diane tried to dodge the figure.
“How much is it?” He repeated more firmly, holding on to the side of the table to support himself, now.
“$12,556.” Phillip replied gravely. He looked to Max.
Max sunk down in the chair next to him, placing his head in his hands, “Holy shit.”
Max ran the calculations in his head. He would never be able to pay that, not in the next five years, while still going to college. It probably wouldn’t even be practical to go to his last year of high school. He would have to give up that future and try to work out another one.
A bank would never give him a loan. A practically orphaned minor with no permanent place of residence… that would look good on the application.
He tried to muster up some sense of resolve, “Okay. It’ll be okay. I’ll work something out.”
But it was hard for him to think straight. He definitely needed that additional job, now. Something extremely well paying. And he had no idea how he was going to get it without people getting on his case.
“You don’t have to work something out.” Phillip shook his head, attempting to make Max meet his eyes. He failed. “Diane and I are going to cover the costs. The social worker put you into our custody, and we’re going to take care of you. I won’t have someone, a teenager, staying at my house and working himself to death to try and cover the cost of a bill that he shouldn’t be responsible for in the first place.”
Max spoke dully, all emotion gone from his voice once more, “It’s only temporary custody. They probably won’t keep me here for too long. I’ll have to worry about the bills eventually.”
“We’ll fight it if they try and take you, Max. No matter what they say, this is where you belong. You’re part of this family, whether you realize it or not.” Diane folded her hands over the tabletop, staring intently at Max.
“I don’t want to intrude. I’m a burden. Your lives were so much less complicated when they just involved Michael.”
“Maybe.” Diane smiled, “But I have never seen Michael open up to anyone like he opens up to you and Isabel. The three of you click like you’ve always been family, even before you met. Believe it or not, but that admiration that Michael held for the two of you rubbed off on me and Phillip. You two are part of our lives, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Max looked between Diane and Phillip. After all of these years, did he really have a family accepting him?
He couldn’t. He was a freak. He wasn’t worth it. Hank had told him that.
He would find some way to make money – lots of it. He would pay them back for every penny they had to spend on him.
Because he wasn’t supposed to have a family or loving parental figures. He was supposed to be alone.
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“How’s school going?” Dr. Hannah Richfield leaned back in her chair.
Max shrugged, “Better. Diane makes sure I keep up with all of my homework and studying. Milton’s got me working six hours a week, so I’ve got plenty of time.
“You sound a little bitter about that. Why?”
“Because. I’ve always worked. Why should I stop now?”
“What’s making you stop?”
“Diane, Phillip, Isabel… everyone. They think that I can’t handle it, that I was working myself to death.”
“Were you?”
“Did I have a choice?”
She shrugged back to him, brushing her short brown hair out of her eyes, “Do you think about your past often?”
“I don’t know.” A shadow of pain passed his eyes. Hannah noticed.
“Have you ever told anyone what happened the night before Sheriff Valenti and Liz found you?” Dr. Richfield sat up straighter in her chair, picking up on Max’s topic avoidance. He would make small talk with her, discuss little issues in his life, but he refused to allow the conversation to steer too close to Hank.
Max refused to answer her or meet her gaze. He looked paler than before.
“Okay. I pushed. I’m sorry.” She made a note on her notepad, “How’s Isabel? Have you talked to her lately?”
“No.”
“Why not?” She found Max’s sudden departure from the life of his sister very strange. “You two used to be very close.”
“The closer we got, the more damaged she became.” Max replied. “I was the cancer in her life. I removed myself.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I never made the right decisions when it came to her. I couldn’t protect her from everything. She got hurt. And I was the one that hurt her the most.”
“How so?”
“She says she can’t sleep at night. That she just hears me screaming.” Max shifted uncomfortably. Why had he just told her that?
“Maybe it’s her own guilt that’s making her hear those screams.”
Max stood up, pacing, “She’s got nothing to be guilty about! She didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Sometimes it’s hard to make people see things about themselves. Things that are staring them right in the face.”
Max could tell that she had a double meaning in that statement, and he didn’t like it. He clenched his jaw and sat back down on the couch, refusing to comment.
Dr. Richfield frowned. Max was starting to withdraw from the session. It never failed. “How’s your personal life? Your friends? Have you hung out with any of them lately?”
“I barely talk to Isabel. I barely talk to Michael, because he’s never home. Liz comes over and we hang out sometimes. That’s about it.”
“What about the others? Alex? Maria? Tess and Kyle?”
“They’re not my friends. I don’t know anything about them, and they hardly know anything about me. We just hang out occasionally because Michael’s dating Maria and Isabel’s dating Alex. It’s like… I don’t know… I only hang out with them when Michael and Isabel are hanging out with them. They invite me because they feel obligated to, not because they want to.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“…it doesn’t affect me.”
“Would you like to become their friend?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “It wouldn’t be like making friends. They would probably accept me, whether they liked me or not, just because of who my siblings are and what… happened.”
“I don’t think you’re giving them enough credit.”
“And I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. This is such a waste of my time.”
“Then why do you come for every session?”
“To make everyone around me happy. They’re not going to be happy or leave me alone until I at least appear to be happy.”
“So, is coming here just another part of your act?”
“What act?” He snapped.
Dr. Richfield stared at him calmly, “You pretending like everything’s okay.”
He stood abruptly. “I think that’s all for today.”
Dr. Richfield looked unsurprised. Max always ended the appointments early. How long they lasted was determined by how sensitive the material was that they were talking about.
“We’re never going to get anywhere if you keep hiding the real problems and not allowing the wounds to heal.”
“Who says I want to get anywhere?” was his only response. He closed the door behind him.
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“Maria, don’t overreact, but…” Michael put his hands up, expecting the explosion, even though he had advised Maria to the contrary.
Maria glared at him, “Did you forget about our lunch date?”
“I didn’t forget… I just…”
“Michael Evans!”
“The car show is this weekend and Max and I…”
“A car show?! You’re ditching me for a car show?! Seriously?!”
“Maria, c’mon!”
Maria looked over Michael’s shoulder, glancing at Max, sitting a few yards away in a booth, waiting for Michael, “You’re right. I’m sorry. Go and have fun. Be a good friend.”
Michael nodded and walked back over to Max. Max looked up, “We don’t have to go, you know. I’m fine just staying in Roswell. You should go out with Maria.”
“I go out with Maria like every night. We never get to hang out anymore.”
But, as the two walked out of the door, Max couldn’t help but notice the way that Michael’s head turned to look back at Maria.
Max shifted his attention to the yellow dotted line in the middle of the road. He could get rid of all of his problems in a second… just close his eyes and walk…
No. That wouldn’t be right.
Isabel needed him. Liz needed him. Michael couldn’t take care of them alone.
Michael started the car, “I was talking to my dad this morning. He said that if you were really interested in getting the motorcycle, he’d give it to you.”
Max’s eyes narrowed, “I don’t need or want handouts.”
“That’s what I thought you’d say.” Michael nodded, “He also said that if you didn’t go for that option, you could buy it and then pay him in installments, whenever you had the money for it.”
“I’ll have to think about it.”
“What is there to think about?”
Max stared ahead, out of the windshield, “Isabel’s going to be going to college in seven months. I don’t have very much saved up, and a lot of that’s going to be gone when I pay your parents back for the first set of hospital bills and then cover the rest of them…”
“Max,” Michael cut him off, “My parents said you don’t have to pay for that. They want to pay it for you. They need a way to feel like they’re helping, because no one did anything when you needed help the most.”
“They shouldn’t have had to pay for that.” Max gritted his teeth, “I can handle those bills.”
“You shouldn’t have to be worrying about this! You’re only sixteen!” Michael shook his head, his knuckles white on the steering wheel.
“Shut up, Michael.” Max snapped.
“No! It’s not fair.”
“Nothing is fair. Life isn’t fair!”
Michael shook his head, “That’s not true. Good things happen to people.”
“People.” Max emphasized, “Not aliens.”
“We might as well be human. We don’t use our powers that often. None of us want to find out about where we came from.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that we’re not normal.”
“Whatever, Max.” Michael knew when to pick his battles, “You’re trying to distract me from the subject, anyways. Why can’t you just let my parents give you the motorcycle? Or take my dad’s deal?”
“Because.” Max shook his head, “I have other things that I need to be worrying about paying for. I can’t afford it, okay? Drop it already.”
“No. That can’t be the only reason.”
Max listed them off: “I don’t need one. I don’t want one. I can’t afford one. That’s three reasons. Happy?”
Michael shook his head, “Not really.”
Max shrugged, “Oh well.”
Their morning didn’t improve much after that. Michael would try to reach out to Max and rekindle their friendship, but Max was constantly uninterested. He didn’t see a need for Michael to know about any of his problems.
Max was looking at an old corvette when Michael came up to him, offering him a soda as a form of a peace offering. Michael spoke tentatively, “I’m sorry. I was doing the ass thing again. I’ve got a problem with it, and you know it. We were supposed to just chill today.”
Max took the soda. He missed hanging out with Michael. He smirked, “Day’s not over yet.”
They walked down the lines of cars, commenting on each one and looking over the ones that the owners wanted to sell. Max had pointed out a few cars to Michael, but Michael hadn’t found one that he loved yet.
Max crossed his arms, “If you just pick one or concede to defeat, you could make it back to Roswell in time for dinner with Maria.”
Michael rolled his eyes, “We’ve still got a few hours. The ride back’s not that long.”
“If by a few, you mean two.” Max nodded.
“Anxious to get back for any particular reason?” Michael raised his eyebrows.
Max shrugged, “Maybe.”
“You do remember that my girlfriend is Maria Deluca, right? Gossip Goddess and best friend of Liz Parker?”
Max pretended to think about it for a minute, “Yeah, I think I remember you talking about her once… or twice… every ten minutes.”
Michael scowled, “I don’t talk about her that much.”
“You do too.” Max smirked.
“Well, she told me that you and Liz have been hanging out lately. Something about cookies and A Walk To Remember?” It was Michael’s turn to smirk.
Max’s cheeks tinged slightly, “Yeah. We have been.”
“Is she the reason that you’re so anxious to get back?”
“We’re supposed to be having dinner tonight at that new Italian restaurant.” Max stated like it was no big deal.
Michael shook his head disbelievingly, “What?! So… are you two… dating?”
“No.” Max replied quickly, “We’re just friends.”
“You don’t see me taking Tess out to some dinner, though, do you?” Michael contained his chuckling for a second and then laughed at his own joke.
“We’re not dating.” Max insisted, “She doesn’t even like me like that.”
“You’re delusional.” Michael whistled lowly.
Max glared at him, “I am not! I told her that I’m not looking for a relationship and she was okay with that. We’re just two friends, hanging out.”
Michael smirked again. Maria was on overdrive, trying to get the two of them together.
Michael laughed and patted Max on the back, “I give it a week before she’s got you wrapped around her finger. You’ll be jumping every time she wants anything, just wait.”
Max didn’t tell him that it was already like that. He would do anything to keep Liz happy. He loved seeing her smile.
“Have you called Isabel lately?” Michael asked, walking back towards their car. He had a few cards from the sellers that he had liked tucked safely into his back pocket. Hopefully, he’d have a new car by the end of the month.
Max groaned, “Not now, Michael. I don’t want to be in a bad mood for dinner.”
Michael nodded, but he didn’t stop, “I just want to ask you one question.” He held up his hands in his defense when Max shot him a look, “Just one. You don’t even have to answer it. Are you really starting to feel like you fit in or is all of this an act?”
Max didn’t answer.
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Four hours later, Max and Liz were outside of the Crashdown, saying goodbye.
“Are you going to be okay tonight?” Liz asked softly, the concern shining in her eyes. Max had been fidgeting all night.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” He responded lowly.
Liz shrugged, “You just seem different, like something major is bugging you. And tomorrow’s the trial, so I just wanted to make sure that you would be okay.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Okay.” Liz stepped forward, hugging him.
His muscles went rigid, but he somehow still managed to wrap his arms around her. He withdrew seconds after, but not before placing a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, I guess.”
“I’ll be at the courthouse tomorrow, Max. We all will.” Liz shook her head, “Did you think that we wouldn’t be there to support you through all of this?”
Max shook his head back, “No. Don’t come. I don’t want… Hank…” He shook his head once more. Hank would see them all if they came. What if they let him off? He would know all of their faces.
He didn’t want them to see how Hank looked at him, either.
Liz shifted nervously, “Well, we have to be. Phillip listed some of us as witnesses, if the case happens to get that involved. But he’s hoping that it’ll just be an open and closed thing.”
Max groaned. He was eating into their lives, yet again. “Fine. See you tomorrow morning.”
“Bye.” Liz muttered, aware of the colder shift in Max’s demeanor. She watched as he walked away, down the street and then turned into her apartment.
TBC...
-
sprayadhesive
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 187
- Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:19 pm
- Location: Georgia
This part is really long, and a lot of stuff happens, including a lot of stuff you guys might not like. But stick with me! And, in at least the next part, I want to focus on flashbacks from Max's childhood. Just letting you know so that you're not expecting something else.
Part 26
Calm was not the word to describe Max Guerin when the doors opened for an officer to let Hank Guerin into the courtroom. Terrified was the word. Utter and absolute fright. The kind of fear that is so intense that it makes you want to vomit.
So he closed his eyes.
He closed them and tried to pretend like he wasn’t there. Until a rough, haggard voice called out to him, “Not even going to look at me, you little shit?”
“Mr. Guerin! Hold your tongue!” The judge called out, her voice betraying her shock.
Max’s lower lip trembled. His breathing started to come more quickly. Out of pure habit, he obeyed the voice and shakily raised his head, opening his eyes and once more coming to face the man that still haunted him.
Only, Hank was different.
He had a few healing cuts and bruises on his face and hands. Some looked more recent. Max couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He was too afraid to.
The judge called out to the bailiff, “This is off the record: What happened to him?” She didn’t portray any signs of pity, only a stinging curiosity that left a ringing in Max’s ears.
“Seems like his fellow inmates found out what he was in jail for. They didn’t get along much after that.” The man replied.
It was true. Hank’s reputation haunted him in the form of the media. Guards and inmates everywhere were never too happy to see him. On top of that, Hank was going through alcohol and tobacco withdrawals. His face was gaunt and sullen, his eyes were emphasized by heavy bags and his hair had grown out a few inches.
But none of this made him any less frightening to Max. He sunk lower in his seat, bringing his eyes to the floor. He wanted to run from the room. The walls were closing in on him. The minutes slipped by him at the pace of rapid running water. He was about to run when Diane placed a firm hand on his knee.
Max stopped listening. He had managed to calm his breathing slightly, but he saw Hank move out of the corner of his eye and he suddenly felt lightheaded.
Around Max, the trial was progressing. He wasn’t following its progress at all. Michael was shifting angrily in his seat. Diane was frowning and shaking her head. She hadn’t been able to look at Hank once.
Max was sitting between them. He sunk lower in his seat each passing minute. The room was getting even hotter. He moved a finger to the collar of his shirt, moving it around slightly. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Max blanked out, staring at the floor. He was trying his best to keep his breathing under control. He had to instruct himself to inhale and exhale at a regular pace.
But he felt Michael elbow him in the ribs, and everyone was looking at him, expectant.
The judge spoke softly, “Max, if you will, please…” She motioned to the witness stand.
Phillip looked at him apologetically. He never wanted the case to get to the point of putting Max on the stand. He just wanted everything to be over for Max.
Phillip started with little questions, asking Max about his daily routine, his job and how many hours he worked. He worked into the larger stuff later, but Max gave him calculated responses, never revealing too much, but always giving him the truth. A simple yes or no usually fulfilled the question.
The case was practically sealed by the end of it.
The opposing attorney chose not to cross examine Max. He knew that it was a lost case before he had been assigned it; he had just been trying to give Hank Guerin a fair trial, no matter how much the man disgusted him. And he couldn’t quite bring himself to cause they boy anymore pain. He was already in enough of it, by the looks of him.
That was when all hell broke loose.
Hank raised his voice, “This trial is bullshit!”
“Mr. Guerin!” The judge banged her gavel, trying to get his attention. He wouldn’t be deferred.
Max sunk lower and lower in his seat as Hank continued his tirade, “AND THIS GOVERNMENT SHOULD NOT BE LISTENING TO THE LIES OF A STUPID, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BOY WHO HAS NEVER AMOUNTED TO ANYTHING IN ITS LIFE AND WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.”
The judge banged her gavel, ordering Hank to desist, but he ignored her again, “THIS SON OF A BITCH HAD NOTHING AND I GAVE IT A PLACE TO LIVE. I GAVE IT FOOD TO EAT. I CAN NOT BELIEVE HOW UNGRATEFUL IT IS.”
“Mr. Guerin!” She screamed, trying to calm him down.
No one was prepared for what happened next, not even the bailiff. Hank sprung out from his chair and swiftly crossed the miniscule amount of feet between the defendant’s table and the witness stand. He raised his fist and punched Max twice before the bailiff was able to react. Max had been thrown off of the chair and onto the floor.
In seconds, Hank was tackled to the ground.
Max didn’t move. He was frozen, staring at Hank. A place above his eyebrow was dripping blood past his eye, but he was still unresponsive.
His insides twisted in immeasurable fear. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t.
While Hank was now physically restrained, his verbal tirade continued, “THIS PIECE OF SHIT IS WORTHLESS! IT’S A WASTE OF LIFE! IT DOESN’T DESERVE TO BE SITTING IN THIS COURT!”
He started Max straight in the eye, “YOU BITCH! YOU’RE DISGUSTING!”
Hank spit towards Max.
The judge was stunned, as was everyone else in the room. The spitting caused her breath to hitch and she quickly came to her senses, “Take Mr. Guerin back to the holding cell! Get him out of my sight!
“This court is on a recess until further notice! The lawyers will both be contacted--”
“YOU ARE WORTHLESS! YOU DESERVED EVERYTHING THAT I GAVE YOU!”
“Get him out of here this instant!” The judge ordered. But, her scream was of no use, the bailiff already had Hank halfway out of the court room.
When the door closed behind them, all eyes turned towards Max. The room was deathly silent.
Max didn’t move. His eyes were still on the spot of the floor where Hank had been lying seconds earlier. Hank’s spit was glistening on his pants, but he didn’t acknowledge it. He didn’t acknowledge anything.
Hank was right. He had been wasting everyone’s time. And now they all knew. They saw what Hank thought of him and now they would think the same thing.
“…Max?” Phillip had managed to get through his own haze and was now standing next to Max, trying to get the boy to move. “Max… we should leave.”
Max didn’t move. He stayed in the exact same position, completely frozen. If it weren’t for the occasional blink, Phillip would have thought Max was dead.
It was the worst anyone had ever seen him.
From their spots on the other side of the courtroom, everyone was at a loss for words.
Jeff Parker was finding it hard to breathe. He realized with a shock that Liz was clinging on to his hand for dear life, sobbing with her head buried into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, trying to offer her comfort.
One of his hands held tightly on to Nancy, who also had tears in her eyes.
He looked around the room for Isabel, wanting to make sure she was holding up, and found her a few aisles behind him, with Michael.
Isabel was in the same position as Liz, burying her face in Michael’s chest. She had completely lost it and her noisy sobs were filling the courtroom. Michael looked scared to death. His face, like Max’s, was completely pale. He looked like he was about to fall apart himself, but when Diane, seated next to him, began crying, Michael’s face hardened in determination.
Jeff realized that Maria, sitting between Isabel and Amy Deluca, had her hand behind Isabel’s back, intertwined with one of Michael’s. Maria’s other hand was holding Amy’s. Amy looked just as bad as Maria.
The poor boy was trying to keep from breaking down for the sake of not one person, but four.
Jim, Kyle and Tess were all seated together, too. Tess was between the Valenti men, and they both appeared to be tightly holding on to her hands.
“Max…” Phillip’s voice turned the attention of those not sobbing violently back to the front of the room.
Max stood suddenly, his eyes still expressionless and staring at the spot on the floor. He walked slowly from the room, his eyes downcast, but hollow and unseeing. All eyes followed him as he walked stiffly out of the courtroom.
Phillip hurried after him.
Slowly, the rest of their crew stood and followed the two out of the courtroom. They found Phillip in the parking lot, the backdoor in the car open, talking to Max. Max was seated in the car, still staring straight ahead, unseeing and unhearing.
Liz let go of Jeff and walked forward, not even attempting to calm her crying. She kneeled next to the car and spoke with her voice cracking, “Max?”
She took his hand in hers.
His hand jerked away and he turned his head slightly towards hers. He silently turned back, clasping his hands together in his lap. His breathing, she noticed, was erratic and shallow. His emotions were on overload.
She turned back to the other, “We should uh… I mean… you should take Max h-home.”
“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Phillip nodded, taking Diane’s hand and helping her to the other side of the car.
Diane bypassed the seat in the front and climbed in next to Max. She decided that he needed the support from a mother, even if he was currently unresponsive to virtually everything going on around him.
The sun was starting to set when everyone finally climbed into their cars. They all agreed that giving Max some space would be the best course of action for now. Phillip promised to call all of the parents later with an update.
Liz was riding with the Evans family and Max. She was seated on the other side of Diane. She knew that he probably wouldn’t talk to her or look at her, but she needed him to know that he was there for her. Isabel was squeezed into the car, too.
They were on a road with no building on it when Max’s palms went flat against the roof of the car above him. His breaths came quickly, shallow, and he couldn’t seem to catch his breath.
“Pull over the car!” Diane yelled at Phillip.
The car came to a stop and Max unbuckled his seatbelt, jumping out and sprinting twenty feet away from the car before collapsing onto his knees, lacing his fingers behind his head.
He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. His chest hurt and he felt like the world was spinning.
The attack lasted for a few more seconds, and then Max heard someone walking up behind him. He struggled to his feet and dusted off the knees of the suit that Diane had bought for him only a few days ago.
He ignored the person and walked back into the car, still staring at the ground.
Everyone tried to ask him if he was alright, but there was no answer. He simply folded his hands in his lap and stared at his shoes. His face was tinged green.
When they finally reached the house, Max had the door open before the car was turned off.
He stumbled out of the car, his legs weak and shaky. He somehow managed to make his way into the house and up the stairs before Liz had reached the doorway to the house. She tried to swallow her tears when she saw him on the landing, bracing himself against the wall. She called his name softly and his head shifted slightly towards her. Just like before, he snapped his head back to its original place. He slowly made his way down the hallway and Liz heard the door close behind him.
She sat heavily on the stairs. Everything was going so well before today. Thanks to Hank, they were back to square one… possibly even worse.
Isabel gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and a weak smile before she headed up the stairs towards Max’s room. She knocked lightly on the door, but there was no answer. She tried to open the door. It was locked.
She frowned, “Max, please open the door.”
No answer.
“We can talk about what happened. Don’t shut us out.”
Still nothing.
The world was dark outside the window, and Isabel watched the shadows creep across the door for a few minutes. Max’s room was dark, she could tell from the crack under the door. She sighed heavily, “We’ll be downstairs if you need us, okay?”
No response.
On the other side of the door, Max was leaning heavily against it. He was a fuck up. Hank had let everyone know that. They all saw how he deserved to be treated. Everything was going to change. He shuddered when he thought about it.
Hank was right. He deserved the life that he had under Hank. He slowly crossed the room to the window, a haze taking him over. Nothing registered as he stood next to it, gazing blankly out at the outside world.
Minutes, or hours, later, Max heard the door unlock and open.
He flinched slightly. Was someone going to come and beat him? Punish him for wasting their lives away with his problems?
Someone said something. He didn’t know who it was. The floor creaked right behind him and Max clutched at the ledge of the window, his knuckles turning white. He was bracing himself for the impact of flesh upon flesh.
Instead, the person spoke again.
Michael was trying his hardest to break through to Max. The rest of the house’s occupants were in the kitchen, wide awake with worry. He spoke again, “You need to talk about it.”
Max continued staring out of the window.
“I…” Max whispered, his voice a harsh, hoarse whisper. He still believed that the intruder did him harm, and he had no idea what to say to him.
Michael froze, begging Max to continue.
Michael stood there for five minutes. No other words came out of Max’s mouth. Michael reluctantly turned and left, heading back into the kitchen.
Diane was staring into her coffee cup. Her head jerked up when Michael entered the room, her eyes filled with hope, “He let you in?”
“I picked the lock,” he lied, looking once at Liz and Isabel and then shifting his gaze back to his parents.
Diane nodded, “What’d he say?”
“Nothing.” Michael replied, sitting down.
“I’m worried sick.” She replied, her throat very dry.
Phillip shook his head, “I never thought… How could that have happened? We were in a courtroom for God’s sake… things like that don’t happen.”
“They do to Max.” Liz whispered quietly. She had been thinking it all day. Why could Max never escape his fears? He was constantly avoiding them. Then, they had started to make progress, and it all had been ripped away in an instant.
“The hatred… in that man’s voice…” Diane shook slightly, her whisper haunted. She locked pained gazes with Phillip, “He spit on him. He… he hit him. Right in front of us. In front of the jury and the judge and all of us. I knew it was bad, but that… that was much more real than anything I could have ever imagined. It was pure hatred.”
“That’s how it was every night.” Isabel replied in a haunted voice. “He went through that every night.”
“It’s gonna be okay, Iz.” Michael held her hand tightly.
Diane got to her feet suddenly, “Max was bleeding. I should go clean him up.”
No one stopped her.
She took a first aid kit upstairs and turned the door to Max’s room, pushing it open. She opened the box and came to a stand in front of him. He didn’t move. He didn’t do anything.
She cleaned the cut on his face and placed a band-aid over it.
She spoke quietly, “I’m sorry that happened. But please don’t give up on what you’ve built for yourself. You’re such a strong person. Don’t give up now.”
She retreated from the room. Max jerked when the door closed behind her. He hadn’t even realized someone was with him.
A wolf howled and Max snapped his gaze to the horizon. His trance still wasn’t broken. His shaking fingers lifted the window from the sill. He climbed out and somehow managed to down.
He hit the ground running.
He didn’t stop until he reached the other side of town. The side of town that he had came from.
He walked up to the place as if in a trace. His eyes were unseeing, too blurred with tears and too exhausted to blink them away. But, his feet knew the place. He had run from it so many times that he knew he could never forget the route. He remembered it vividly: the last time he walked up its dirt path, the last time he felt the knot of fear in his stomach when he placed his hand on the door.
It was locked. Max raised a clammy hand to his eyes and wiped away tears that he didn’t know existed, giving him a clearer view of the world. This portion of the trailer park was empty; there would be no need to scan the surroundings. He raised his hand to the lock and the metal clink of the deadbolt giving away brought a poor taste to his mouth.
He wasn’t surprised that his feet had brought him here. It was, after all, where his heart and mind knew that he deserved to go. There was no place else he could ever be. This would always be it for him.
His shaking hand stretched out towards the handle. He slowly turned it and the door gave way.
The smell of stale cigarettes and beer hit him like a truck. He had forgotten how pungent it was.
He stepped through and found himself in Hank’s den. As he entered the trailer, he entered his nightmares. This was the setting of all of them. His mind was thrown into paranoia.
To his left, the plates from that night long ago were still shattered against the floor. Beer cans still lie around the small, dusty couch. Nothing had changed.
His entire body trembled with distant memory. Each step he took through the trailer, a soft whimper escaped his lips. Even though the man was locked up, Max was expecting him to jump out and begin his tirade.
Max traveled into the back of the room and turned left, faced with the dark hallway that his body had slammed against so many times.
He was the sole reason for Hank’s actions. Hank had been right. He was a nothing.
Max slowly walked down the small hallway and pushed aside the sheet that was hung in his doorway. His mouth dried instantly, another whimper escaping.
Blood was still smeared on the floor and the walls. His blood. The hook that had held him hostage for those long nights was caked with the blood, but it was still there. Just as the short rope that once hugged his neck was still there, too, attached to the hook like nothing had changed.
He bent down, holding the coarse rope in his hands. His eyes blurred with tears again. With another pained whimper, he dropped it and curled into a small ball in the corner.
His body shook with tremors as he fought off the ghosts of voices, the phantoms of touches on his skin and the overwhelming drowning sensation that he hadn’t felt in weeks.
Hank had shown everyone what he really was today. They all knew. He was nothing. He was a waste of space, of air, of life. His place was in this trailer. It always would be.
His mind was possessed by the past. To him, the trailer wasn’t empty, a man sat out on the sofa, drinking beer and watching porn.
With each real creak of the trailer, Max would hear Hank’s drunken slurs calling after him. He could feel Hank’s cold, callous hands running down his legs.
He sobbed heavily, the overbearing feeling of helplessness killing him slowly. He didn’t know what he was thinking, pretending to be normal these last few weeks.
He slowly got the courage to push his back into the corner, sitting up. He pulled his head into his knees and buried his face in them, trying to stop the memories. He couldn’t escape them. They were too much.
“You’re such an idiot.” The voice hissed at him.
Max pressed his back further into the corner, his whimpering more frantic now. He couldn’t dare to look up. He tried to cover his ears to block out the sound.
“You piece of shit.”
Max shook his head feverishly. The tears streamed down his face as it contorted into a pained expression.
“You waste everyone’s time.”
“No, no, no, no, no.”
“They’re all going to hate you after what I said at court.”
“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!”
“Liz is going to regret ever talking to you.”
“No! Stop! Stop!” He screamed into the silence. His body was shaking fiercely.
“You’re worthless. You don’t deserve to live.”
“I know, I know! … Just leave me alone, please, leave me alone.” He whimpered, his voice overflowing with emotion.
“No, I’ve got to punish you. You’ve been bad. You ignored all of what I ever taught you.”
“I didn’t mean to… please, don’t! Please don’t touch me!”
“You deserve it.”
“Please stop! Please! I’m sorry!!”
The phantom hands grabbed at Max’s thighs, pulling them down towards the floor. Max whimpered in protest, desperately trying to fight him off.
An owl hooted outside, snapping Max out of his hallucination. He pressed the side of his head against the wall, allowing the tears to pour down his face. He whimpered softly, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was bad. I’m sorry.”
The tears dried on his cheeks and he stared straight ahead, not daring to let himself sleep. Bad things happened when he slept.
continued on next post
Part 26
Calm was not the word to describe Max Guerin when the doors opened for an officer to let Hank Guerin into the courtroom. Terrified was the word. Utter and absolute fright. The kind of fear that is so intense that it makes you want to vomit.
So he closed his eyes.
He closed them and tried to pretend like he wasn’t there. Until a rough, haggard voice called out to him, “Not even going to look at me, you little shit?”
“Mr. Guerin! Hold your tongue!” The judge called out, her voice betraying her shock.
Max’s lower lip trembled. His breathing started to come more quickly. Out of pure habit, he obeyed the voice and shakily raised his head, opening his eyes and once more coming to face the man that still haunted him.
Only, Hank was different.
He had a few healing cuts and bruises on his face and hands. Some looked more recent. Max couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He was too afraid to.
The judge called out to the bailiff, “This is off the record: What happened to him?” She didn’t portray any signs of pity, only a stinging curiosity that left a ringing in Max’s ears.
“Seems like his fellow inmates found out what he was in jail for. They didn’t get along much after that.” The man replied.
It was true. Hank’s reputation haunted him in the form of the media. Guards and inmates everywhere were never too happy to see him. On top of that, Hank was going through alcohol and tobacco withdrawals. His face was gaunt and sullen, his eyes were emphasized by heavy bags and his hair had grown out a few inches.
But none of this made him any less frightening to Max. He sunk lower in his seat, bringing his eyes to the floor. He wanted to run from the room. The walls were closing in on him. The minutes slipped by him at the pace of rapid running water. He was about to run when Diane placed a firm hand on his knee.
Max stopped listening. He had managed to calm his breathing slightly, but he saw Hank move out of the corner of his eye and he suddenly felt lightheaded.
Around Max, the trial was progressing. He wasn’t following its progress at all. Michael was shifting angrily in his seat. Diane was frowning and shaking her head. She hadn’t been able to look at Hank once.
Max was sitting between them. He sunk lower in his seat each passing minute. The room was getting even hotter. He moved a finger to the collar of his shirt, moving it around slightly. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Max blanked out, staring at the floor. He was trying his best to keep his breathing under control. He had to instruct himself to inhale and exhale at a regular pace.
But he felt Michael elbow him in the ribs, and everyone was looking at him, expectant.
The judge spoke softly, “Max, if you will, please…” She motioned to the witness stand.
Phillip looked at him apologetically. He never wanted the case to get to the point of putting Max on the stand. He just wanted everything to be over for Max.
Phillip started with little questions, asking Max about his daily routine, his job and how many hours he worked. He worked into the larger stuff later, but Max gave him calculated responses, never revealing too much, but always giving him the truth. A simple yes or no usually fulfilled the question.
The case was practically sealed by the end of it.
The opposing attorney chose not to cross examine Max. He knew that it was a lost case before he had been assigned it; he had just been trying to give Hank Guerin a fair trial, no matter how much the man disgusted him. And he couldn’t quite bring himself to cause they boy anymore pain. He was already in enough of it, by the looks of him.
That was when all hell broke loose.
Hank raised his voice, “This trial is bullshit!”
“Mr. Guerin!” The judge banged her gavel, trying to get his attention. He wouldn’t be deferred.
Max sunk lower and lower in his seat as Hank continued his tirade, “AND THIS GOVERNMENT SHOULD NOT BE LISTENING TO THE LIES OF A STUPID, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING BOY WHO HAS NEVER AMOUNTED TO ANYTHING IN ITS LIFE AND WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.”
The judge banged her gavel, ordering Hank to desist, but he ignored her again, “THIS SON OF A BITCH HAD NOTHING AND I GAVE IT A PLACE TO LIVE. I GAVE IT FOOD TO EAT. I CAN NOT BELIEVE HOW UNGRATEFUL IT IS.”
“Mr. Guerin!” She screamed, trying to calm him down.
No one was prepared for what happened next, not even the bailiff. Hank sprung out from his chair and swiftly crossed the miniscule amount of feet between the defendant’s table and the witness stand. He raised his fist and punched Max twice before the bailiff was able to react. Max had been thrown off of the chair and onto the floor.
In seconds, Hank was tackled to the ground.
Max didn’t move. He was frozen, staring at Hank. A place above his eyebrow was dripping blood past his eye, but he was still unresponsive.
His insides twisted in immeasurable fear. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t.
While Hank was now physically restrained, his verbal tirade continued, “THIS PIECE OF SHIT IS WORTHLESS! IT’S A WASTE OF LIFE! IT DOESN’T DESERVE TO BE SITTING IN THIS COURT!”
He started Max straight in the eye, “YOU BITCH! YOU’RE DISGUSTING!”
Hank spit towards Max.
The judge was stunned, as was everyone else in the room. The spitting caused her breath to hitch and she quickly came to her senses, “Take Mr. Guerin back to the holding cell! Get him out of my sight!
“This court is on a recess until further notice! The lawyers will both be contacted--”
“YOU ARE WORTHLESS! YOU DESERVED EVERYTHING THAT I GAVE YOU!”
“Get him out of here this instant!” The judge ordered. But, her scream was of no use, the bailiff already had Hank halfway out of the court room.
When the door closed behind them, all eyes turned towards Max. The room was deathly silent.
Max didn’t move. His eyes were still on the spot of the floor where Hank had been lying seconds earlier. Hank’s spit was glistening on his pants, but he didn’t acknowledge it. He didn’t acknowledge anything.
Hank was right. He had been wasting everyone’s time. And now they all knew. They saw what Hank thought of him and now they would think the same thing.
“…Max?” Phillip had managed to get through his own haze and was now standing next to Max, trying to get the boy to move. “Max… we should leave.”
Max didn’t move. He stayed in the exact same position, completely frozen. If it weren’t for the occasional blink, Phillip would have thought Max was dead.
It was the worst anyone had ever seen him.
From their spots on the other side of the courtroom, everyone was at a loss for words.
Jeff Parker was finding it hard to breathe. He realized with a shock that Liz was clinging on to his hand for dear life, sobbing with her head buried into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, trying to offer her comfort.
One of his hands held tightly on to Nancy, who also had tears in her eyes.
He looked around the room for Isabel, wanting to make sure she was holding up, and found her a few aisles behind him, with Michael.
Isabel was in the same position as Liz, burying her face in Michael’s chest. She had completely lost it and her noisy sobs were filling the courtroom. Michael looked scared to death. His face, like Max’s, was completely pale. He looked like he was about to fall apart himself, but when Diane, seated next to him, began crying, Michael’s face hardened in determination.
Jeff realized that Maria, sitting between Isabel and Amy Deluca, had her hand behind Isabel’s back, intertwined with one of Michael’s. Maria’s other hand was holding Amy’s. Amy looked just as bad as Maria.
The poor boy was trying to keep from breaking down for the sake of not one person, but four.
Jim, Kyle and Tess were all seated together, too. Tess was between the Valenti men, and they both appeared to be tightly holding on to her hands.
“Max…” Phillip’s voice turned the attention of those not sobbing violently back to the front of the room.
Max stood suddenly, his eyes still expressionless and staring at the spot on the floor. He walked slowly from the room, his eyes downcast, but hollow and unseeing. All eyes followed him as he walked stiffly out of the courtroom.
Phillip hurried after him.
Slowly, the rest of their crew stood and followed the two out of the courtroom. They found Phillip in the parking lot, the backdoor in the car open, talking to Max. Max was seated in the car, still staring straight ahead, unseeing and unhearing.
Liz let go of Jeff and walked forward, not even attempting to calm her crying. She kneeled next to the car and spoke with her voice cracking, “Max?”
She took his hand in hers.
His hand jerked away and he turned his head slightly towards hers. He silently turned back, clasping his hands together in his lap. His breathing, she noticed, was erratic and shallow. His emotions were on overload.
She turned back to the other, “We should uh… I mean… you should take Max h-home.”
“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Phillip nodded, taking Diane’s hand and helping her to the other side of the car.
Diane bypassed the seat in the front and climbed in next to Max. She decided that he needed the support from a mother, even if he was currently unresponsive to virtually everything going on around him.
The sun was starting to set when everyone finally climbed into their cars. They all agreed that giving Max some space would be the best course of action for now. Phillip promised to call all of the parents later with an update.
Liz was riding with the Evans family and Max. She was seated on the other side of Diane. She knew that he probably wouldn’t talk to her or look at her, but she needed him to know that he was there for her. Isabel was squeezed into the car, too.
They were on a road with no building on it when Max’s palms went flat against the roof of the car above him. His breaths came quickly, shallow, and he couldn’t seem to catch his breath.
“Pull over the car!” Diane yelled at Phillip.
The car came to a stop and Max unbuckled his seatbelt, jumping out and sprinting twenty feet away from the car before collapsing onto his knees, lacing his fingers behind his head.
He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. His chest hurt and he felt like the world was spinning.
The attack lasted for a few more seconds, and then Max heard someone walking up behind him. He struggled to his feet and dusted off the knees of the suit that Diane had bought for him only a few days ago.
He ignored the person and walked back into the car, still staring at the ground.
Everyone tried to ask him if he was alright, but there was no answer. He simply folded his hands in his lap and stared at his shoes. His face was tinged green.
When they finally reached the house, Max had the door open before the car was turned off.
He stumbled out of the car, his legs weak and shaky. He somehow managed to make his way into the house and up the stairs before Liz had reached the doorway to the house. She tried to swallow her tears when she saw him on the landing, bracing himself against the wall. She called his name softly and his head shifted slightly towards her. Just like before, he snapped his head back to its original place. He slowly made his way down the hallway and Liz heard the door close behind him.
She sat heavily on the stairs. Everything was going so well before today. Thanks to Hank, they were back to square one… possibly even worse.
Isabel gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze and a weak smile before she headed up the stairs towards Max’s room. She knocked lightly on the door, but there was no answer. She tried to open the door. It was locked.
She frowned, “Max, please open the door.”
No answer.
“We can talk about what happened. Don’t shut us out.”
Still nothing.
The world was dark outside the window, and Isabel watched the shadows creep across the door for a few minutes. Max’s room was dark, she could tell from the crack under the door. She sighed heavily, “We’ll be downstairs if you need us, okay?”
No response.
On the other side of the door, Max was leaning heavily against it. He was a fuck up. Hank had let everyone know that. They all saw how he deserved to be treated. Everything was going to change. He shuddered when he thought about it.
Hank was right. He deserved the life that he had under Hank. He slowly crossed the room to the window, a haze taking him over. Nothing registered as he stood next to it, gazing blankly out at the outside world.
Minutes, or hours, later, Max heard the door unlock and open.
He flinched slightly. Was someone going to come and beat him? Punish him for wasting their lives away with his problems?
Someone said something. He didn’t know who it was. The floor creaked right behind him and Max clutched at the ledge of the window, his knuckles turning white. He was bracing himself for the impact of flesh upon flesh.
Instead, the person spoke again.
Michael was trying his hardest to break through to Max. The rest of the house’s occupants were in the kitchen, wide awake with worry. He spoke again, “You need to talk about it.”
Max continued staring out of the window.
“I…” Max whispered, his voice a harsh, hoarse whisper. He still believed that the intruder did him harm, and he had no idea what to say to him.
Michael froze, begging Max to continue.
Michael stood there for five minutes. No other words came out of Max’s mouth. Michael reluctantly turned and left, heading back into the kitchen.
Diane was staring into her coffee cup. Her head jerked up when Michael entered the room, her eyes filled with hope, “He let you in?”
“I picked the lock,” he lied, looking once at Liz and Isabel and then shifting his gaze back to his parents.
Diane nodded, “What’d he say?”
“Nothing.” Michael replied, sitting down.
“I’m worried sick.” She replied, her throat very dry.
Phillip shook his head, “I never thought… How could that have happened? We were in a courtroom for God’s sake… things like that don’t happen.”
“They do to Max.” Liz whispered quietly. She had been thinking it all day. Why could Max never escape his fears? He was constantly avoiding them. Then, they had started to make progress, and it all had been ripped away in an instant.
“The hatred… in that man’s voice…” Diane shook slightly, her whisper haunted. She locked pained gazes with Phillip, “He spit on him. He… he hit him. Right in front of us. In front of the jury and the judge and all of us. I knew it was bad, but that… that was much more real than anything I could have ever imagined. It was pure hatred.”
“That’s how it was every night.” Isabel replied in a haunted voice. “He went through that every night.”
“It’s gonna be okay, Iz.” Michael held her hand tightly.
Diane got to her feet suddenly, “Max was bleeding. I should go clean him up.”
No one stopped her.
She took a first aid kit upstairs and turned the door to Max’s room, pushing it open. She opened the box and came to a stand in front of him. He didn’t move. He didn’t do anything.
She cleaned the cut on his face and placed a band-aid over it.
She spoke quietly, “I’m sorry that happened. But please don’t give up on what you’ve built for yourself. You’re such a strong person. Don’t give up now.”
She retreated from the room. Max jerked when the door closed behind her. He hadn’t even realized someone was with him.
A wolf howled and Max snapped his gaze to the horizon. His trance still wasn’t broken. His shaking fingers lifted the window from the sill. He climbed out and somehow managed to down.
He hit the ground running.
He didn’t stop until he reached the other side of town. The side of town that he had came from.
He walked up to the place as if in a trace. His eyes were unseeing, too blurred with tears and too exhausted to blink them away. But, his feet knew the place. He had run from it so many times that he knew he could never forget the route. He remembered it vividly: the last time he walked up its dirt path, the last time he felt the knot of fear in his stomach when he placed his hand on the door.
It was locked. Max raised a clammy hand to his eyes and wiped away tears that he didn’t know existed, giving him a clearer view of the world. This portion of the trailer park was empty; there would be no need to scan the surroundings. He raised his hand to the lock and the metal clink of the deadbolt giving away brought a poor taste to his mouth.
He wasn’t surprised that his feet had brought him here. It was, after all, where his heart and mind knew that he deserved to go. There was no place else he could ever be. This would always be it for him.
His shaking hand stretched out towards the handle. He slowly turned it and the door gave way.
The smell of stale cigarettes and beer hit him like a truck. He had forgotten how pungent it was.
He stepped through and found himself in Hank’s den. As he entered the trailer, he entered his nightmares. This was the setting of all of them. His mind was thrown into paranoia.
To his left, the plates from that night long ago were still shattered against the floor. Beer cans still lie around the small, dusty couch. Nothing had changed.
His entire body trembled with distant memory. Each step he took through the trailer, a soft whimper escaped his lips. Even though the man was locked up, Max was expecting him to jump out and begin his tirade.
Max traveled into the back of the room and turned left, faced with the dark hallway that his body had slammed against so many times.
He was the sole reason for Hank’s actions. Hank had been right. He was a nothing.
Max slowly walked down the small hallway and pushed aside the sheet that was hung in his doorway. His mouth dried instantly, another whimper escaping.
Blood was still smeared on the floor and the walls. His blood. The hook that had held him hostage for those long nights was caked with the blood, but it was still there. Just as the short rope that once hugged his neck was still there, too, attached to the hook like nothing had changed.
He bent down, holding the coarse rope in his hands. His eyes blurred with tears again. With another pained whimper, he dropped it and curled into a small ball in the corner.
His body shook with tremors as he fought off the ghosts of voices, the phantoms of touches on his skin and the overwhelming drowning sensation that he hadn’t felt in weeks.
Hank had shown everyone what he really was today. They all knew. He was nothing. He was a waste of space, of air, of life. His place was in this trailer. It always would be.
His mind was possessed by the past. To him, the trailer wasn’t empty, a man sat out on the sofa, drinking beer and watching porn.
With each real creak of the trailer, Max would hear Hank’s drunken slurs calling after him. He could feel Hank’s cold, callous hands running down his legs.
He sobbed heavily, the overbearing feeling of helplessness killing him slowly. He didn’t know what he was thinking, pretending to be normal these last few weeks.
He slowly got the courage to push his back into the corner, sitting up. He pulled his head into his knees and buried his face in them, trying to stop the memories. He couldn’t escape them. They were too much.
“You’re such an idiot.” The voice hissed at him.
Max pressed his back further into the corner, his whimpering more frantic now. He couldn’t dare to look up. He tried to cover his ears to block out the sound.
“You piece of shit.”
Max shook his head feverishly. The tears streamed down his face as it contorted into a pained expression.
“You waste everyone’s time.”
“No, no, no, no, no.”
“They’re all going to hate you after what I said at court.”
“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!”
“Liz is going to regret ever talking to you.”
“No! Stop! Stop!” He screamed into the silence. His body was shaking fiercely.
“You’re worthless. You don’t deserve to live.”
“I know, I know! … Just leave me alone, please, leave me alone.” He whimpered, his voice overflowing with emotion.
“No, I’ve got to punish you. You’ve been bad. You ignored all of what I ever taught you.”
“I didn’t mean to… please, don’t! Please don’t touch me!”
“You deserve it.”
“Please stop! Please! I’m sorry!!”
The phantom hands grabbed at Max’s thighs, pulling them down towards the floor. Max whimpered in protest, desperately trying to fight him off.
An owl hooted outside, snapping Max out of his hallucination. He pressed the side of his head against the wall, allowing the tears to pour down his face. He whimpered softly, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was bad. I’m sorry.”
The tears dried on his cheeks and he stared straight ahead, not daring to let himself sleep. Bad things happened when he slept.
continued on next post
Last edited by sprayadhesive on Sat Apr 07, 2007 7:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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sprayadhesive
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Max was gone. They all knew it before they even went in the room. It was only eleven at night, and he was already gone.
Liz felt like she was going to faint. Max’s emotions were completely out of control. Who knew what he would do? She felt stupid for not staying up in his room with him, not watching him closer.
Now he was gone. There was no time for regrets.
Michael sprung into action. He ran to the window and looked into the driveway, “He didn’t take the car or the motorcycle, so he can’t have gone far. We don’t know how much of a head start he had; we need to start looking for him now. Mom, Dad, maybe it’ll be better if you guys stay here, on the off chance that he’ll come back. He’s trusted you two enough to open up to you before.
“Liz, Isabel and I will all go out and look for him. Isabel, you can come with me. Liz, do you mind riding alone?”
Liz shook her head.
“Okay, good. Dad, call Sheriff Valenti and let him know what happened. Ask him if he would mind helping us look around for Max.”
Liz was already out of the door. She was at Michael’s car before he was. They rode to the back of the Crashdown in silence. Liz immediately thanked them and then got into her own car.
She took off through Roswell. Michael and Isabel were going to cover a few miles on each of the highways outside of town. Albuquerque. That’s where he would go. He would go to a big city and try to lose himself.
She didn’t stop driving.
But, outside of the high school, she realized that she wasn’t heading in the right direction. No one was. She was still near Michael’s house and Michael and Isabel had fled town. But Max hadn’t left town. Max was still here. She could feel it in her gut.
She pulled a U-turn in the middle of the deserted road.
Her palms were sweating profusely. She hoped that her hunch was right. No one had called her, and that meant that no one had seen a sign of Max. He was still missing. She hoped to God that he hadn’t done anything drastic.
She didn’t realize that she was going as fast as she was, and she reached her destination in record time.
She turned off her headlights, just in case he would see them and run, and slowly pulled the car up to the trailer.
Her stomach twisted. He was in there. She could feel it. She made it a point to grab her cell phone before exiting the car.
The leaves on the ground crunched as she made her way up to the front of the trailer. There was no path leading to the door. The trailer was the furthest back in the trailer park as possible. There weren’t any other trailers all the way back here.
The door was slightly cracked open, letting the cold January air into the trailer. She stepped in and she was suddenly happy that the door had been left open. The smell of the trailer was nauseating.
She hadn’t ever been here. It was hard for her to realize that this was where Max and Isabel had lived for almost all of their lives.
There was a door to her right. She pushed it open with a shaking hand and stared in disgust. It was obviously Hank’s room. The mere thought of him made her shake with rage.
She turned her back on it and took in the broken plates. She was going to ask Max exactly what happened the night before they brought him to the hospital. She couldn’t get it out of her mind.
A small hallway that her eyes had glanced over at first now jumped out at her. She walked down it. A piece of the floor creaked underneath her.
A doorway with a sheet hanging from it loomed in front of her. She took a deep breath, bracing herself for the worst, and stepped through.
Her eyes landed on him immediately. She ran to his side and dragged him into her embrace, cradling him in the best way possible.
She looked around and attempted to see if there was anything wrong with him. The scent of the old, decaying blood on the walls around them was enough to make her gag, but it also reassured her. It wasn’t new blood. It had been from before… when Valenti had found him.
Max was whimpering and whispering to himself. He didn’t seem to see her.
Liz tried to snap him out of it, “It’s okay, Max. You’re safe.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
“I’m here, Max. You don’t have to worry.”
“Don’t hurt me. Please! I’m sorry!!”
“I won’t hurt you! You’re safe!”
“It was my fault. I messed up.”
“Shh, it’s okay! Come back to me. Come back.”
Tears were silently trickling down her cheeks. Max was white as a ghost. His eyes were panicked and bloodshot. It looked like hadn’t slept all night, maybe even in two nights. She didn’t know why she hadn’t noticed before. He was shaking and rocking back and forth.
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen! Please stop! Stop!”
His mumbling subsided to mere whispers and Liz stroked his hair. It was breaking her heart, seeing him like this.
Her tears increased. She hadn’t realized how relieved she was to finally see him – to hold him in her arms. She thought that he was going to be gone forever. She had known that he meant a lot to her, but she didn’t know just how much. She felt… complete when she was with him.
Suddenly, he ripped himself out of her arms and sprung to his feet. He looked at a spot by the door, screaming, “No, no, no, no!!!!.”
“Calm down! It’s okay! No one’s going to hurt you!” She tried to break through, but it was near impossible.
“What did you do to Isabel?! What did you do to her?! Where is she?!” He screamed, still staring at the doorway.
“Isabel’s safe! She’s with Michael!” She glanced nervously from Max to the doorway, “Hank can’t hurt you anymore! He can’t hurt you!”
He pressed his back against the opposite wall and pressed his hands to his eyes, “I messed up. I’m a fuck up. Everything’s all my fault. I don’t deserve any of what they gave me.”
“Max, snap out of it!” She raised her voice, desperate to get his attention.
He grabbed at his hair and started shaking his head in an increasingly fast pace, whimpering and screaming ‘no’.
It broke her. She involuntarily let a sob of despair escape her, and buried her head in her hands. She was stupid to think that she could have done this all by herself. She didn’t know how to get Max back to reality. It hurt like hell to see him like this – completely lost of all control.
A faint choking sound brought her out of her thoughts. She looked up and into the face of a very broken Max, sitting opposite her in the room.
But, this time, he was really seeing her. Her sobs had forced him back to reality. He harshly drew in air and then whispered out, tears still escaping from his eyes, “Liz?”
“Max?” She found her voice very firm, despite all of the emotions she was feeling. She slowly got to her feet and walked over to him. She sat next to him and put her hand on his shoulder, “I’m here. It’s okay.”
He blinked his eyes warily, still trying to remember what happened or where he was. “I don’t… Where…?” But he slowly realized where they were. He could never forget the look of this room.
He inhaled sharply and withdrew from Liz’s touch, inching closer to the corner, “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I’m not leaving without you.”
“I didn’t want you to see this… I didn’t want…. I didn’t…. I can’t…” He was going on overload again. Panic was once more flooding his eyes.
Liz quickly moved closer to him and hugged him tightly, speaking firmly into his ear, “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. This place isn’t you. You didn’t choose this.”
“Yes I did!” He screamed angrily. “I fucked this up! I did this! I deserve this! You don’t deserve this! You need to leave! Get out! GET OUT!”
“I’m not leaving!” She screamed back, despite her attempt to control herself, “This is not what you are!”
“YES IT IS!” He roared back, putting his forehead on his knees that were brought up to his chest. “YOU SAW IT! EVERYONE SAW IT! HE JUST OPENED YOUR EYES TO IT! ACCEPT IT!”
“Hank doesn’t matter! Nothing about him matters! He’s a pathetic excuse for a man, someone who preyed on the hopes and dreams of a little boy and that boy’s sister! He’s someone who ripped an innocent kid of their childhood! He doesn’t determine who you are!”
“I just wanted a family…” He said suddenly, looking at Liz with eyes filled with despair. He had given in to her words.
Liz hugged him tighter, “You didn’t do anything wrong. Your life was out of your hands. You can control it, now.”
“I can’t help it…” He shook his head, “Nothing’s ever going to be the same again…”
“You’re right.” Liz smiled, “It will be better. Because we’re going to work through all of this. And you’re going to have so much self-appreciation, we’ll be lucky if you don’t turn into a regular Narcissist.”
“I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.” He stated grimly.
“It will if you let me in.” She said encouragingly, “Can you do that? Will you tell me what happened with Hank in the past? What happened the night you came to my room?”
He nodded.
TBC...
Liz felt like she was going to faint. Max’s emotions were completely out of control. Who knew what he would do? She felt stupid for not staying up in his room with him, not watching him closer.
Now he was gone. There was no time for regrets.
Michael sprung into action. He ran to the window and looked into the driveway, “He didn’t take the car or the motorcycle, so he can’t have gone far. We don’t know how much of a head start he had; we need to start looking for him now. Mom, Dad, maybe it’ll be better if you guys stay here, on the off chance that he’ll come back. He’s trusted you two enough to open up to you before.
“Liz, Isabel and I will all go out and look for him. Isabel, you can come with me. Liz, do you mind riding alone?”
Liz shook her head.
“Okay, good. Dad, call Sheriff Valenti and let him know what happened. Ask him if he would mind helping us look around for Max.”
Liz was already out of the door. She was at Michael’s car before he was. They rode to the back of the Crashdown in silence. Liz immediately thanked them and then got into her own car.
She took off through Roswell. Michael and Isabel were going to cover a few miles on each of the highways outside of town. Albuquerque. That’s where he would go. He would go to a big city and try to lose himself.
She didn’t stop driving.
But, outside of the high school, she realized that she wasn’t heading in the right direction. No one was. She was still near Michael’s house and Michael and Isabel had fled town. But Max hadn’t left town. Max was still here. She could feel it in her gut.
She pulled a U-turn in the middle of the deserted road.
Her palms were sweating profusely. She hoped that her hunch was right. No one had called her, and that meant that no one had seen a sign of Max. He was still missing. She hoped to God that he hadn’t done anything drastic.
She didn’t realize that she was going as fast as she was, and she reached her destination in record time.
She turned off her headlights, just in case he would see them and run, and slowly pulled the car up to the trailer.
Her stomach twisted. He was in there. She could feel it. She made it a point to grab her cell phone before exiting the car.
The leaves on the ground crunched as she made her way up to the front of the trailer. There was no path leading to the door. The trailer was the furthest back in the trailer park as possible. There weren’t any other trailers all the way back here.
The door was slightly cracked open, letting the cold January air into the trailer. She stepped in and she was suddenly happy that the door had been left open. The smell of the trailer was nauseating.
She hadn’t ever been here. It was hard for her to realize that this was where Max and Isabel had lived for almost all of their lives.
There was a door to her right. She pushed it open with a shaking hand and stared in disgust. It was obviously Hank’s room. The mere thought of him made her shake with rage.
She turned her back on it and took in the broken plates. She was going to ask Max exactly what happened the night before they brought him to the hospital. She couldn’t get it out of her mind.
A small hallway that her eyes had glanced over at first now jumped out at her. She walked down it. A piece of the floor creaked underneath her.
A doorway with a sheet hanging from it loomed in front of her. She took a deep breath, bracing herself for the worst, and stepped through.
Her eyes landed on him immediately. She ran to his side and dragged him into her embrace, cradling him in the best way possible.
She looked around and attempted to see if there was anything wrong with him. The scent of the old, decaying blood on the walls around them was enough to make her gag, but it also reassured her. It wasn’t new blood. It had been from before… when Valenti had found him.
Max was whimpering and whispering to himself. He didn’t seem to see her.
Liz tried to snap him out of it, “It’s okay, Max. You’re safe.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
“I’m here, Max. You don’t have to worry.”
“Don’t hurt me. Please! I’m sorry!!”
“I won’t hurt you! You’re safe!”
“It was my fault. I messed up.”
“Shh, it’s okay! Come back to me. Come back.”
Tears were silently trickling down her cheeks. Max was white as a ghost. His eyes were panicked and bloodshot. It looked like hadn’t slept all night, maybe even in two nights. She didn’t know why she hadn’t noticed before. He was shaking and rocking back and forth.
“I’m sorry I didn’t listen! Please stop! Stop!”
His mumbling subsided to mere whispers and Liz stroked his hair. It was breaking her heart, seeing him like this.
Her tears increased. She hadn’t realized how relieved she was to finally see him – to hold him in her arms. She thought that he was going to be gone forever. She had known that he meant a lot to her, but she didn’t know just how much. She felt… complete when she was with him.
Suddenly, he ripped himself out of her arms and sprung to his feet. He looked at a spot by the door, screaming, “No, no, no, no!!!!.”
“Calm down! It’s okay! No one’s going to hurt you!” She tried to break through, but it was near impossible.
“What did you do to Isabel?! What did you do to her?! Where is she?!” He screamed, still staring at the doorway.
“Isabel’s safe! She’s with Michael!” She glanced nervously from Max to the doorway, “Hank can’t hurt you anymore! He can’t hurt you!”
He pressed his back against the opposite wall and pressed his hands to his eyes, “I messed up. I’m a fuck up. Everything’s all my fault. I don’t deserve any of what they gave me.”
“Max, snap out of it!” She raised her voice, desperate to get his attention.
He grabbed at his hair and started shaking his head in an increasingly fast pace, whimpering and screaming ‘no’.
It broke her. She involuntarily let a sob of despair escape her, and buried her head in her hands. She was stupid to think that she could have done this all by herself. She didn’t know how to get Max back to reality. It hurt like hell to see him like this – completely lost of all control.
A faint choking sound brought her out of her thoughts. She looked up and into the face of a very broken Max, sitting opposite her in the room.
But, this time, he was really seeing her. Her sobs had forced him back to reality. He harshly drew in air and then whispered out, tears still escaping from his eyes, “Liz?”
“Max?” She found her voice very firm, despite all of the emotions she was feeling. She slowly got to her feet and walked over to him. She sat next to him and put her hand on his shoulder, “I’m here. It’s okay.”
He blinked his eyes warily, still trying to remember what happened or where he was. “I don’t… Where…?” But he slowly realized where they were. He could never forget the look of this room.
He inhaled sharply and withdrew from Liz’s touch, inching closer to the corner, “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I’m not leaving without you.”
“I didn’t want you to see this… I didn’t want…. I didn’t…. I can’t…” He was going on overload again. Panic was once more flooding his eyes.
Liz quickly moved closer to him and hugged him tightly, speaking firmly into his ear, “It’s okay. It doesn’t matter. This place isn’t you. You didn’t choose this.”
“Yes I did!” He screamed angrily. “I fucked this up! I did this! I deserve this! You don’t deserve this! You need to leave! Get out! GET OUT!”
“I’m not leaving!” She screamed back, despite her attempt to control herself, “This is not what you are!”
“YES IT IS!” He roared back, putting his forehead on his knees that were brought up to his chest. “YOU SAW IT! EVERYONE SAW IT! HE JUST OPENED YOUR EYES TO IT! ACCEPT IT!”
“Hank doesn’t matter! Nothing about him matters! He’s a pathetic excuse for a man, someone who preyed on the hopes and dreams of a little boy and that boy’s sister! He’s someone who ripped an innocent kid of their childhood! He doesn’t determine who you are!”
“I just wanted a family…” He said suddenly, looking at Liz with eyes filled with despair. He had given in to her words.
Liz hugged him tighter, “You didn’t do anything wrong. Your life was out of your hands. You can control it, now.”
“I can’t help it…” He shook his head, “Nothing’s ever going to be the same again…”
“You’re right.” Liz smiled, “It will be better. Because we’re going to work through all of this. And you’re going to have so much self-appreciation, we’ll be lucky if you don’t turn into a regular Narcissist.”
“I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.” He stated grimly.
“It will if you let me in.” She said encouragingly, “Can you do that? Will you tell me what happened with Hank in the past? What happened the night you came to my room?”
He nodded.
TBC...
Last edited by sprayadhesive on Sat Apr 07, 2007 7:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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sprayadhesive
- Addicted Roswellian
- Posts: 187
- Joined: Sun Mar 19, 2006 3:19 pm
- Location: Georgia
Okay, as promised, this chapter focuses a lot on Max's past. The next chapter will be all in the present, I think.
Thanks for all of the feedback, bumps and patience!
Lairabehr4 - In a very selfish way, I'm glad you're back from vacation.
Thanks for getting this back to me so quickly!!
Flamehair - I'm holding off on the sentencing for now... but it will be mentioned
elodie - Must've been some cosmic sign. hahahaha
cassie
begonia9508
rossieaddicted
Emz80m
Alien_Friend - Well, he was cuffed, but that was it. I took a little artistic liberty in that part to get to the position of this part.
Natalie36
clueless
Addicted2AmberEyes
Alien614
Scottie
Dreamer<3 - I'll see what I can do.
maya
Timelord31
Part 27
Max didn’t fight the hold that Liz had on him. “How much do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
He brought his knees up to his chest and placed his forehead against his knees. He took a deep breath and started from the beginning, stories that he never thought he would reveal to another living soul.
/Eight Years Ago/
Max couldn’t stop the smile on his face from forming as he waited for Isabel to finish saying goodbye to all of her friends at the orphanage. He didn’t have any, due to the fact that he was incredibly shy, but that didn’t stop some of the kids from waving congenially at him. He waved back. After two years of knowing them, the two eight-year-olds were going to miss some parts of the orphanage.
The man standing behind him waited, too, with both of the kids’ bags slung over one of his shoulders. He was clean shaven and neat looking. The only negative aspect was the way he shifted impatiently from foot to foot.
Normally, a man would have a hard time adopting two children. But Hank Guerin had come with excellent references from his friends and bosses. He lived in a trailer, but he seemed stable enough to care for two lives.
His first few visits with Max and Isabel had gone smoothly, so the state of New Mexico had granted their adoption.
Max was glad. He had seen a good number of brothers and sisters separated in the adoption process, and he knew that he had to hold on to Isabel.
Isabel finished saying goodbye and she took Max’s hand, and together they followed their new guardian out of the building.
Isabel whispered to him softly, “Are we supposed to call him Dad?”
“I don’t know.” Max whispered back.
They got to his red pickup truck and Hank opened the door for them, insisting that Isabel sit closest to him. Max didn’t think anything of it, he was just glad to finally have a place to call home.
The trip back was filled with silence. Max wondered why he wasn’t asking them question or trying to joke with them, like he had back in the orphanage.
When they pulled up to the trailer, Max frowned slightly. But it would do. Because anything was worth it, as long as he could stay with his sister, who also happened to be his best and only friend.
Hank showed them to their room. Max looked around, his eyes only falling on one bed. He wrinkled his brow, but held down his question.
Isabel was the one who voiced it, “Where’s the other one?”
“There isn’t another one.” Hank responded coldly, looking at her with something in his eyes that Max hadn’t seen before.
“But there are two of us.” Isabel frowned. “Where’s the person who doesn’t get the bed going to sleep?”
Hank pointed to Max and then pointed to a pile of blankets in the corner.
Isabel’s frown grew, “We can switch off, Max.”
“No.” The man said sharply, looking at Max with a sneer. He shifted his gaze to Isabel, “The bed is yours.”
Max nodded sheepishly. He wasn’t going to protest. He was too thankful to have something rather than nothing.
Isabel tried to keep the awkward conversation going, in order to make the trailer feel more like home, “So, what’s for dinner?”
“Whatever you can find.” Hank shrugged, “I’m going to go watch football. Don’t bother me.”
Before he turned away, Max worked up the courage to say something to him, “Okay, Dad.”
A fast, open handed slap to the face caused him to take a few steps back, his eyes watering. He raised a hand to his cheek and stared at the floor at the man’s feet. He didn’t understand. He didn’t know what he had done wrong.
Hank sneered, “You’re no son of mine.”
He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. They heard the sound of the television fill the other room. Isabel looked to Max, worry written all over her expression, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He swallowed back his desire to burst into tears at the pain and the injustice, but instead a soft glow emanated from his hand to ease the pain. He had to stay strong for Isabel.
Isabel walked forward and drew him into an unexpected hug, “I don’t like it here.”
“We have to try, okay?” Max whispered.
Isabel nodded and withdrew from the hug. They waited in the room for a few minutes, and then they jointly decided to go outside and play. They walked past Hank, but he didn’t say anything, so they made it outside without an event.
Max couldn’t find anything for dinner that night, so Isabel told Hank. He muttered and groaned and finally left for the store, leaving the two of them waiting in the trailer.
He came back with two boxes of macaroni and cheese, a package of butter and some milk.
Isabel and Max worked together, making the food and serving it. They ate in silence and Isabel tried, once again, to make conversation with Hank, “Which school are we gonna go to?”
“West Roswell Elementary.” He replied shortly. “You’re already registered. You start tomorrow.”
“Really?” Max’s face lit up. He loved school.
Hank glared at him, “That’s what I said. Don’t question me.”
Max nodded silently.
/Seven Years Ago/
This was the last time that the social worker would come and visit them. Hank had scared Isabel and Max into answering all of the questions in Hank’s favor, with threats of the orphanages taking them far away and them never seeing each other again.
Hank would move a cot into their bedroom, something he borrowed from someone at work, whenever the social workers came, but Max never got to sleep in it. He was always on the floor, no matter what.
Hank hit him once almost every day, whether it was a slap in the face or a punch in the gut. Usually it was after he did something wrong, stayed out too late (scrounging for food), or said something Hank didn’t like. Sometimes it was just because Hank felt like it.
So Max had simply stopped talking to him. Occasionally Hank would say something inappropriate towards Isabel, but she would go into their room and everything would go back to their skewed version of normal.
The woman asked her last question with a smile on her face, “Do you like living here?”
“Yes.” Max replied softly, meeting her eyes only briefly.
The woman wrote it off as him being shy. She never guessed it was the beginning signs of him withdrawing his emotions from everyday life.
She nodded and smiled at him, making a few notes on her clipboard.
Max waited patiently and then she thanked him and walked out of the room. Isabel joined him in there and, a few minute later, the woman drove away.
Hank stormed into the bedroom, “What’d you tell her?!”
“N-n-nothing, I answered everything the right way!” Max stammered, his eyes widening.
Hank came at him, closing his hands around Max’s throat. Max fought against him, but a nine year old boy is no match for a grown man. He sputtered pathetically.
Isabel cried out and grabbed on to Hank’s arm, trying to stop him, but she was hardly making a difference.
“Then why did she tell me that she was worried about your sleeping arrangements?! You complained!” He screamed directly into the boy’s face.
Max was the shortest boy in his grade. The doctor at the orphanage had told Max that he would probably be a late grower, but Max wanted to grow right now. He needed to.
“I swear I didn’t!” He cried out, his voice raspy.
“You bastard.” Hank spat in his face, releasing his grip and watching Max thud on the ground of the trailer. “You’re mine, now, anyways.”
Hank pointed at Max angrily, “You are nothing. You don’t deserve to live here, but I allow it. You are such an ungrateful little shit.”
/Six Years Ago/
Today was Christmas. Holidays weren’t acknowledged in the trailer, only in class or when talking with Michael. Michael had wanted to come over to the trailer for some time now, but Max wouldn’t allow it. Even if Michael was one of them, he wouldn’t understand their situation.
Max had met Diane and Phillip. They were the best adults he had ever met – the complete opposite of Hank.
Max had made it his duty to care for Isabel in the last two years. He picked up cans from the street and brought them to the recycling plant for nickels. For every three nickels he got, one went into savings under his bed, one went to Isabel, and the other went to buying them food and necessities.
This Christmas was special, though. While the two normally made each other presents, usually paintings or drawings done during school, Max had finally saved up enough money to get Isabel a real present.
He smiled and held the present behind his back, looking at Isabel. Her hands were covering her eyes and she was sitting cross legged on the bed. Hank was in the other room, already passed out for the day.
Max placed the toy in front of her and stood back, “Okay. Open your eyes.”
Isabel opened them excitedly and squealed in delight. A small, light brown stuffed bunny was taken into her arms and she held it close.
Max felt a swell of happiness overcome him. He loved seeing Isabel happy.
/Four Years Ago/
Max knew that they were in trouble. Hank had always made suggestive comments in Isabel’s direction, but he had never acted on them. Now that he and Isabel were starting to go through puberty, though, Hank was increasingly sleazy.
He watched in fear as Hank moved towards Isabel. It was ten at night, when they usually went to bed, but Isabel had wanted a glass of water.
And now, Hank had her cornered against the counter.
Max moved from his position in the hallway, “Isabel, c’mon.”
It was better if he didn’t talk directly to Hank. Hank hit him when he did that. It was always him, never Isabel. This was the first time he even attempted to go after Isabel. Max was almost completely paralyzed in fear. Isabel looked so scared. He felt like he was going to be sick.
“Shut up, idiot.” Hank growled, “This is between me and the woman.”
“Stop it, Hank!” Isabel whined pitifully, trying to push him away.
Hank reached a hand down towards Isabel, lust written all over his face, so Max did the only thing that he could think of. He lunged for Hank’s legs, latching on and digging his teeth into his flesh.
Hank roared in pain and stepped backwards from Isabel. Max told her to run to the room and lock it and she did without a second thought. Max felt Hank’s hand close on the collar of his shirt.
With a swift yank, Hank pulled Max into the air and threw him against the refrigerator.
Max closed his eyes and tried to imagine a place better than this. A place where he sat behind a brunette girl in class, a girl who was pretty and smart and funny.
But when Hank picked him up and threw him over his shoulder, the images shattered. Max wiggled and struggled to get out of Hank’s grip, but he was practically helpless as Hank carried him into his bedroom and closed and locked the door behind them.
Hank threw him onto the bed savagely, “You little shit. You bastard. I got you for her and you keep getting in the way. You keep getting in the way!”
Hank shook his head and smirked as Max struggled to back away from him, only to find himself run out of space in the small room, “You’re going to pay, bitch. If can’t have what I want, I’ll settle for you.”
“Leave me alone!!” Twelve year old Max screamed, panic in his eyes. Hank was going to kill him, that was the only reason that he had brought him in here. What other reason could there be?
He panicked when he felt Hank’s body press against his and the man’s cold, fat fingers slip into his waistband and pull his pants down. He kicked and kicked, but each time he squirmed, Hank would shift his weight further onto him.
Max tried to get away when his pants were fully off and Hank flipped him over, but Hank punched the side of his head and the moment’s disorientation stopped his forward movement.
Max felt the tears start to leak out of his eyes when he pathetically whimpered, “Please, don’t. Stop. Please. I’m sorry. I’ll do anything you want me to. Please.”
The intentions of Hank had finally set in and it was too much for Max to handle.
Hank’s pudgy hand covered Max’s mouth roughly, “Shut up, whore!”
Max clenched his eyes together and choked back his sobs and tears as Hank came down on him for the first time. His protests of pain were concealed by the man’s hand.
Isabel never heard a thing.
/Present/
Max trembled violently, turning his head to look at Liz. Her face was pale and she looked like she had just been scared out of her mind. He shook his head, “I’m sorry. You said you wanted to know everything, I got carried away…”
“No.” She ran a soothing hand through his hair, placing a finger under his jaw and forcing him to keep eye contact with her, “You need to talk about it. I need to hear it. Keep going.”
“There’s not much really to say after that. After that night, he… he would always be angry with me for anything that I did. One night I accidentally got the carpet wet one night… when I came inside after it rained… Isabel was at her friend’s house for the night… and he… he shoved me into the mud outside of the trailer and locked me out. I was too afraid to go inside and Michael and his parents were out of town, so I just… I just stayed outside all night.
“And… with the other… thing… sometimes it would happen… once or twice a week. I tried so hard to keep it a secret from Isabel and everyone else. I couldn’t let them see what I was…
“But he… it happened like three, sometimes four times a week in the month that I stayed there alone, when Isabel got her apartment. He got the rope and he would always be waiting for me when I got home… I was never stronger than him. I could barely protect Isabel when she lived there and he already had me… what was the point of even fighting anymore? I hated him and I hated myself for letting all of this happen. I still do.”
He kept talking, never letting Liz get a word in, “The night… the night that I came to your room…”
/Flashback/
“Where in Hell have you been?”
“Not like you care.” Max spat out bitterly. He was sick of Hank, sick of the way he had been living for the last eight years, sick of being undeserving. He was sick of living. He just wanted to crawl into a ball in the corner of his room and refuse to leave for the rest of his life.
He had made Liz cry.
Hank shoved him, “You’ve got some nerve.”
“Just shut the hell up and go back to your porn.” Max shrugged Hank off and opened the refrigerator, mentally blocking out the sounds of the moans coming from the television. Hank had openly watched the programming for a few years now.
“Excuse me?” Hank slammed the refrigerator door closed, almost catching Max’s fingers in the process.
Max glared at Hank, “I said ‘shut the hell up.’” Hank was stopping him from getting to the corner in his room.
Hank made a menacing start towards Max, but then he thought twice about it and turned, opening up one of the cabinets. He grabbed a few of the dishes and threw one at Max.
Max dodged it and shook his head angrily, “You’re going to have to do better than that.”
“You ungrateful little…” Hank lunged at him, knocking them both to the ground. Plates crashed around them. Hank grabbed a hold of one of them and smashed it over the top of Max’s head.
Max was out of sorts for a few seconds, enough time for Hank to punch him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him.
Max gasped for breath and rolled onto his side, curling up into as tight of a ball as possible. Hank ripped Max’s hands above his head and yanked his legs straight, pinning them beneath him. He shouted into his face, “You’re nothing! You deserve to die! You damned your sister and you’ll damn everyone else in your life! You’re poison! They all secretly despise you. I despise you. Your mere presence disgusts me and you’re nothing Do you hear me?! Do you?!”
Max turned his head to the side, fighting back some pathetic tears. Hank was confirming all of his beliefs. He wasn’t worth their time. He should never have gone to Liz’s.
Hank slapped him across the face, “I asked you a question! Are you or aren’t you a worthless, cowardly piece of shit?!” Max was so used to the slaps that he hardly felt them anymore.
Max mumbled something inaudible.
Hank grabbed his throat and lifted Max’s head off of the floor, slamming it back down into the ceramic tiles, “Answer me!”
“I am.” Max replied with, his voice strangled from Hank’s grip.
Hank slammed his head into the floor again, “You are what?!”
An image of Liz floated into his vision and desperation filled Max’s eyes. He swallowed a sob and said breathlessly, “I am a worthless, cowardly piece of shit. I hurt everyone around me. I can’t do anything right.”
He meant every one of the words he said.
Hank moved above Max and stood up, pressing his feet against both of Max’s wrists, keeping the boy pinned to the ground. He shifted his weight onto his wrists, causing Max to cry out, “Where were you tonight?! You know the rules!”
“I went to my friend’s house!” Max all but screamed, the knocks against the floor giving him a headache already.
Hank laughed maniacally, “You thought they would actually want to see you?! You think you actually have friends?!”
“No. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking…”
“Well, we’re just going to have to teach you to think a little harder next time, huh? Not that I’m expecting much from you.” Hank spat, slamming a foot down onto Max’s nose.
Max heard the instantaneous crunch and felt the blood trickle down his face before the pain hit him. He doubled over as Hank released him, one hand over his nose and the other protecting the rest of his face.
But Hank didn’t move to hit him again. Instead, Hank’s hands latched onto Max’s ankles and started dragging him towards Max’s room.
Max’s body dragged painfully against the tile of the kitchen and he clenched his eyes in determination. As much as he knew he was worthless, he couldn’t bring this to happen again. It couldn’t. He hated being reduced to a point where the only thing he had left was his name. A name that, as far as he was concerned, did not include Guerin.
When he felt the carpet of the hallway beneath him, he tried to claw at it and stop Hank’s progression. He managed to hold Hank off for a few seconds before Hank grew tired of the tug-of-war game and dropped Max’s ankles.
Max turned onto his stomach and scrambled away from Hank. He had made it halfway to the trailer door before Hank snuck up on him and grabbed his ankles once more. Hank ripped his ankles into the air and started back towards the room, “You trying to get away from me?! You ungrateful little shit.”
But Max didn’t want to give up his rights. Not tonight, after everything that had happened at Liz’s. Just as Hank pulled him into the room, Max caught hold of the doorframe and tried to kick his way out of Hank’s hands.
He heard his foot collide with one of Hank’s hands, but that was the most damage he managed to do. Hank cursed and kicked Max with blunt force. Max’s hands lost their grip on the door frame and Hank dragged him further into the room.
Hank tackled Max when he had him in the opposite corner, the ropes already in his hands. He tied the first around Max’s neck, tight enough to already be cutting into his esophagus. Moving any further away caused him to gag.
He lifted his hands up to try and loosen the rope and Hank quickly took them and tied them together. Max groaned in frustrated protest, already losing any hope he had of getting away.
He barely flinched when his shirt was literally torn off. Hank had forgotten to remove it before he had tied up his hands. Max was already resigned to his fate. It was unavoidable.
He shivered, the cold air making his skin prickle and his jaw tremble. The trembling only intensified when his socks, pants and boxers followed his shirt. Max closed his eyes and the helpless feeling took him over, turning into rage. He clenched his jaw and spoke angrily, “I hate you.”
“Ha!” Hank paced up and down the opposite wall. Max, laying on his stomach, could only see Hank every time he passed by the door. His silhouette would appear in front of the lighted hallways for a second before disappearing back against the dark walls. “If you only knew how much I despise you… how much everyone despises you…”
“I fucking hate you!” Max screamed, yanking away from the wall. The rope cut into his neck and he gasped for breath for a few seconds.
Hank made a strange noise and shook his head, “You unappreciative little shit.”
And he came at him, fists flying into every inch of Max’s body.
Max couldn’t even protect his face with his hands bound. He was forced to take what he was given. Hank stopped his tirade and then Max heard him messing with the belt on his pants.
/Present/
“He… he kept beating me and did… you know… so many times. I lost track and I just…I slowly went numb to it all…” His voice broke off slightly until he cleared his throat to continue, “I remember the sun coming up and the alarm on my watch going off for me to wake up for school and then I remember Hank coming into here for the nth time that night… but then I can’t remember anything until the hospital. God, that’s… that’s like five hours that I can’t account for … I wasn’t strong enough to stop him… I never was. I provoked him. All I wanted to do that entire night was to die. I messed up so badly.”
Liz fought back her tears so Max wouldn’t see them. If he saw them, she knew that he would blame himself for causing them. It was taking a lot of her energy to focus enough and support him when all she felt like doing was collapsing on the floor and crying over the injustice of his life. She couldn’t let him dodge the center of attention again. She pulled him into another embrace, soothingly rubbing his back. She whispered into his ear, “You felt like you had no other options. It wasn’t your fault; it was all Hank's doing.”
TBC...
Thanks for all of the feedback, bumps and patience!
Lairabehr4 - In a very selfish way, I'm glad you're back from vacation.
Thanks for getting this back to me so quickly!!Flamehair - I'm holding off on the sentencing for now... but it will be mentioned
elodie - Must've been some cosmic sign. hahahaha
cassie
begonia9508
rossieaddicted
Emz80m
Alien_Friend - Well, he was cuffed, but that was it. I took a little artistic liberty in that part to get to the position of this part.
Natalie36
clueless
Addicted2AmberEyes
Alien614
Scottie
Dreamer<3 - I'll see what I can do.
maya
Timelord31
Part 27
Max didn’t fight the hold that Liz had on him. “How much do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
He brought his knees up to his chest and placed his forehead against his knees. He took a deep breath and started from the beginning, stories that he never thought he would reveal to another living soul.
/Eight Years Ago/
Max couldn’t stop the smile on his face from forming as he waited for Isabel to finish saying goodbye to all of her friends at the orphanage. He didn’t have any, due to the fact that he was incredibly shy, but that didn’t stop some of the kids from waving congenially at him. He waved back. After two years of knowing them, the two eight-year-olds were going to miss some parts of the orphanage.
The man standing behind him waited, too, with both of the kids’ bags slung over one of his shoulders. He was clean shaven and neat looking. The only negative aspect was the way he shifted impatiently from foot to foot.
Normally, a man would have a hard time adopting two children. But Hank Guerin had come with excellent references from his friends and bosses. He lived in a trailer, but he seemed stable enough to care for two lives.
His first few visits with Max and Isabel had gone smoothly, so the state of New Mexico had granted their adoption.
Max was glad. He had seen a good number of brothers and sisters separated in the adoption process, and he knew that he had to hold on to Isabel.
Isabel finished saying goodbye and she took Max’s hand, and together they followed their new guardian out of the building.
Isabel whispered to him softly, “Are we supposed to call him Dad?”
“I don’t know.” Max whispered back.
They got to his red pickup truck and Hank opened the door for them, insisting that Isabel sit closest to him. Max didn’t think anything of it, he was just glad to finally have a place to call home.
The trip back was filled with silence. Max wondered why he wasn’t asking them question or trying to joke with them, like he had back in the orphanage.
When they pulled up to the trailer, Max frowned slightly. But it would do. Because anything was worth it, as long as he could stay with his sister, who also happened to be his best and only friend.
Hank showed them to their room. Max looked around, his eyes only falling on one bed. He wrinkled his brow, but held down his question.
Isabel was the one who voiced it, “Where’s the other one?”
“There isn’t another one.” Hank responded coldly, looking at her with something in his eyes that Max hadn’t seen before.
“But there are two of us.” Isabel frowned. “Where’s the person who doesn’t get the bed going to sleep?”
Hank pointed to Max and then pointed to a pile of blankets in the corner.
Isabel’s frown grew, “We can switch off, Max.”
“No.” The man said sharply, looking at Max with a sneer. He shifted his gaze to Isabel, “The bed is yours.”
Max nodded sheepishly. He wasn’t going to protest. He was too thankful to have something rather than nothing.
Isabel tried to keep the awkward conversation going, in order to make the trailer feel more like home, “So, what’s for dinner?”
“Whatever you can find.” Hank shrugged, “I’m going to go watch football. Don’t bother me.”
Before he turned away, Max worked up the courage to say something to him, “Okay, Dad.”
A fast, open handed slap to the face caused him to take a few steps back, his eyes watering. He raised a hand to his cheek and stared at the floor at the man’s feet. He didn’t understand. He didn’t know what he had done wrong.
Hank sneered, “You’re no son of mine.”
He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. They heard the sound of the television fill the other room. Isabel looked to Max, worry written all over her expression, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” He swallowed back his desire to burst into tears at the pain and the injustice, but instead a soft glow emanated from his hand to ease the pain. He had to stay strong for Isabel.
Isabel walked forward and drew him into an unexpected hug, “I don’t like it here.”
“We have to try, okay?” Max whispered.
Isabel nodded and withdrew from the hug. They waited in the room for a few minutes, and then they jointly decided to go outside and play. They walked past Hank, but he didn’t say anything, so they made it outside without an event.
Max couldn’t find anything for dinner that night, so Isabel told Hank. He muttered and groaned and finally left for the store, leaving the two of them waiting in the trailer.
He came back with two boxes of macaroni and cheese, a package of butter and some milk.
Isabel and Max worked together, making the food and serving it. They ate in silence and Isabel tried, once again, to make conversation with Hank, “Which school are we gonna go to?”
“West Roswell Elementary.” He replied shortly. “You’re already registered. You start tomorrow.”
“Really?” Max’s face lit up. He loved school.
Hank glared at him, “That’s what I said. Don’t question me.”
Max nodded silently.
/Seven Years Ago/
This was the last time that the social worker would come and visit them. Hank had scared Isabel and Max into answering all of the questions in Hank’s favor, with threats of the orphanages taking them far away and them never seeing each other again.
Hank would move a cot into their bedroom, something he borrowed from someone at work, whenever the social workers came, but Max never got to sleep in it. He was always on the floor, no matter what.
Hank hit him once almost every day, whether it was a slap in the face or a punch in the gut. Usually it was after he did something wrong, stayed out too late (scrounging for food), or said something Hank didn’t like. Sometimes it was just because Hank felt like it.
So Max had simply stopped talking to him. Occasionally Hank would say something inappropriate towards Isabel, but she would go into their room and everything would go back to their skewed version of normal.
The woman asked her last question with a smile on her face, “Do you like living here?”
“Yes.” Max replied softly, meeting her eyes only briefly.
The woman wrote it off as him being shy. She never guessed it was the beginning signs of him withdrawing his emotions from everyday life.
She nodded and smiled at him, making a few notes on her clipboard.
Max waited patiently and then she thanked him and walked out of the room. Isabel joined him in there and, a few minute later, the woman drove away.
Hank stormed into the bedroom, “What’d you tell her?!”
“N-n-nothing, I answered everything the right way!” Max stammered, his eyes widening.
Hank came at him, closing his hands around Max’s throat. Max fought against him, but a nine year old boy is no match for a grown man. He sputtered pathetically.
Isabel cried out and grabbed on to Hank’s arm, trying to stop him, but she was hardly making a difference.
“Then why did she tell me that she was worried about your sleeping arrangements?! You complained!” He screamed directly into the boy’s face.
Max was the shortest boy in his grade. The doctor at the orphanage had told Max that he would probably be a late grower, but Max wanted to grow right now. He needed to.
“I swear I didn’t!” He cried out, his voice raspy.
“You bastard.” Hank spat in his face, releasing his grip and watching Max thud on the ground of the trailer. “You’re mine, now, anyways.”
Hank pointed at Max angrily, “You are nothing. You don’t deserve to live here, but I allow it. You are such an ungrateful little shit.”
/Six Years Ago/
Today was Christmas. Holidays weren’t acknowledged in the trailer, only in class or when talking with Michael. Michael had wanted to come over to the trailer for some time now, but Max wouldn’t allow it. Even if Michael was one of them, he wouldn’t understand their situation.
Max had met Diane and Phillip. They were the best adults he had ever met – the complete opposite of Hank.
Max had made it his duty to care for Isabel in the last two years. He picked up cans from the street and brought them to the recycling plant for nickels. For every three nickels he got, one went into savings under his bed, one went to Isabel, and the other went to buying them food and necessities.
This Christmas was special, though. While the two normally made each other presents, usually paintings or drawings done during school, Max had finally saved up enough money to get Isabel a real present.
He smiled and held the present behind his back, looking at Isabel. Her hands were covering her eyes and she was sitting cross legged on the bed. Hank was in the other room, already passed out for the day.
Max placed the toy in front of her and stood back, “Okay. Open your eyes.”
Isabel opened them excitedly and squealed in delight. A small, light brown stuffed bunny was taken into her arms and she held it close.
Max felt a swell of happiness overcome him. He loved seeing Isabel happy.
/Four Years Ago/
Max knew that they were in trouble. Hank had always made suggestive comments in Isabel’s direction, but he had never acted on them. Now that he and Isabel were starting to go through puberty, though, Hank was increasingly sleazy.
He watched in fear as Hank moved towards Isabel. It was ten at night, when they usually went to bed, but Isabel had wanted a glass of water.
And now, Hank had her cornered against the counter.
Max moved from his position in the hallway, “Isabel, c’mon.”
It was better if he didn’t talk directly to Hank. Hank hit him when he did that. It was always him, never Isabel. This was the first time he even attempted to go after Isabel. Max was almost completely paralyzed in fear. Isabel looked so scared. He felt like he was going to be sick.
“Shut up, idiot.” Hank growled, “This is between me and the woman.”
“Stop it, Hank!” Isabel whined pitifully, trying to push him away.
Hank reached a hand down towards Isabel, lust written all over his face, so Max did the only thing that he could think of. He lunged for Hank’s legs, latching on and digging his teeth into his flesh.
Hank roared in pain and stepped backwards from Isabel. Max told her to run to the room and lock it and she did without a second thought. Max felt Hank’s hand close on the collar of his shirt.
With a swift yank, Hank pulled Max into the air and threw him against the refrigerator.
Max closed his eyes and tried to imagine a place better than this. A place where he sat behind a brunette girl in class, a girl who was pretty and smart and funny.
But when Hank picked him up and threw him over his shoulder, the images shattered. Max wiggled and struggled to get out of Hank’s grip, but he was practically helpless as Hank carried him into his bedroom and closed and locked the door behind them.
Hank threw him onto the bed savagely, “You little shit. You bastard. I got you for her and you keep getting in the way. You keep getting in the way!”
Hank shook his head and smirked as Max struggled to back away from him, only to find himself run out of space in the small room, “You’re going to pay, bitch. If can’t have what I want, I’ll settle for you.”
“Leave me alone!!” Twelve year old Max screamed, panic in his eyes. Hank was going to kill him, that was the only reason that he had brought him in here. What other reason could there be?
He panicked when he felt Hank’s body press against his and the man’s cold, fat fingers slip into his waistband and pull his pants down. He kicked and kicked, but each time he squirmed, Hank would shift his weight further onto him.
Max tried to get away when his pants were fully off and Hank flipped him over, but Hank punched the side of his head and the moment’s disorientation stopped his forward movement.
Max felt the tears start to leak out of his eyes when he pathetically whimpered, “Please, don’t. Stop. Please. I’m sorry. I’ll do anything you want me to. Please.”
The intentions of Hank had finally set in and it was too much for Max to handle.
Hank’s pudgy hand covered Max’s mouth roughly, “Shut up, whore!”
Max clenched his eyes together and choked back his sobs and tears as Hank came down on him for the first time. His protests of pain were concealed by the man’s hand.
Isabel never heard a thing.
/Present/
Max trembled violently, turning his head to look at Liz. Her face was pale and she looked like she had just been scared out of her mind. He shook his head, “I’m sorry. You said you wanted to know everything, I got carried away…”
“No.” She ran a soothing hand through his hair, placing a finger under his jaw and forcing him to keep eye contact with her, “You need to talk about it. I need to hear it. Keep going.”
“There’s not much really to say after that. After that night, he… he would always be angry with me for anything that I did. One night I accidentally got the carpet wet one night… when I came inside after it rained… Isabel was at her friend’s house for the night… and he… he shoved me into the mud outside of the trailer and locked me out. I was too afraid to go inside and Michael and his parents were out of town, so I just… I just stayed outside all night.
“And… with the other… thing… sometimes it would happen… once or twice a week. I tried so hard to keep it a secret from Isabel and everyone else. I couldn’t let them see what I was…
“But he… it happened like three, sometimes four times a week in the month that I stayed there alone, when Isabel got her apartment. He got the rope and he would always be waiting for me when I got home… I was never stronger than him. I could barely protect Isabel when she lived there and he already had me… what was the point of even fighting anymore? I hated him and I hated myself for letting all of this happen. I still do.”
He kept talking, never letting Liz get a word in, “The night… the night that I came to your room…”
/Flashback/
“Where in Hell have you been?”
“Not like you care.” Max spat out bitterly. He was sick of Hank, sick of the way he had been living for the last eight years, sick of being undeserving. He was sick of living. He just wanted to crawl into a ball in the corner of his room and refuse to leave for the rest of his life.
He had made Liz cry.
Hank shoved him, “You’ve got some nerve.”
“Just shut the hell up and go back to your porn.” Max shrugged Hank off and opened the refrigerator, mentally blocking out the sounds of the moans coming from the television. Hank had openly watched the programming for a few years now.
“Excuse me?” Hank slammed the refrigerator door closed, almost catching Max’s fingers in the process.
Max glared at Hank, “I said ‘shut the hell up.’” Hank was stopping him from getting to the corner in his room.
Hank made a menacing start towards Max, but then he thought twice about it and turned, opening up one of the cabinets. He grabbed a few of the dishes and threw one at Max.
Max dodged it and shook his head angrily, “You’re going to have to do better than that.”
“You ungrateful little…” Hank lunged at him, knocking them both to the ground. Plates crashed around them. Hank grabbed a hold of one of them and smashed it over the top of Max’s head.
Max was out of sorts for a few seconds, enough time for Hank to punch him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him.
Max gasped for breath and rolled onto his side, curling up into as tight of a ball as possible. Hank ripped Max’s hands above his head and yanked his legs straight, pinning them beneath him. He shouted into his face, “You’re nothing! You deserve to die! You damned your sister and you’ll damn everyone else in your life! You’re poison! They all secretly despise you. I despise you. Your mere presence disgusts me and you’re nothing Do you hear me?! Do you?!”
Max turned his head to the side, fighting back some pathetic tears. Hank was confirming all of his beliefs. He wasn’t worth their time. He should never have gone to Liz’s.
Hank slapped him across the face, “I asked you a question! Are you or aren’t you a worthless, cowardly piece of shit?!” Max was so used to the slaps that he hardly felt them anymore.
Max mumbled something inaudible.
Hank grabbed his throat and lifted Max’s head off of the floor, slamming it back down into the ceramic tiles, “Answer me!”
“I am.” Max replied with, his voice strangled from Hank’s grip.
Hank slammed his head into the floor again, “You are what?!”
An image of Liz floated into his vision and desperation filled Max’s eyes. He swallowed a sob and said breathlessly, “I am a worthless, cowardly piece of shit. I hurt everyone around me. I can’t do anything right.”
He meant every one of the words he said.
Hank moved above Max and stood up, pressing his feet against both of Max’s wrists, keeping the boy pinned to the ground. He shifted his weight onto his wrists, causing Max to cry out, “Where were you tonight?! You know the rules!”
“I went to my friend’s house!” Max all but screamed, the knocks against the floor giving him a headache already.
Hank laughed maniacally, “You thought they would actually want to see you?! You think you actually have friends?!”
“No. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking…”
“Well, we’re just going to have to teach you to think a little harder next time, huh? Not that I’m expecting much from you.” Hank spat, slamming a foot down onto Max’s nose.
Max heard the instantaneous crunch and felt the blood trickle down his face before the pain hit him. He doubled over as Hank released him, one hand over his nose and the other protecting the rest of his face.
But Hank didn’t move to hit him again. Instead, Hank’s hands latched onto Max’s ankles and started dragging him towards Max’s room.
Max’s body dragged painfully against the tile of the kitchen and he clenched his eyes in determination. As much as he knew he was worthless, he couldn’t bring this to happen again. It couldn’t. He hated being reduced to a point where the only thing he had left was his name. A name that, as far as he was concerned, did not include Guerin.
When he felt the carpet of the hallway beneath him, he tried to claw at it and stop Hank’s progression. He managed to hold Hank off for a few seconds before Hank grew tired of the tug-of-war game and dropped Max’s ankles.
Max turned onto his stomach and scrambled away from Hank. He had made it halfway to the trailer door before Hank snuck up on him and grabbed his ankles once more. Hank ripped his ankles into the air and started back towards the room, “You trying to get away from me?! You ungrateful little shit.”
But Max didn’t want to give up his rights. Not tonight, after everything that had happened at Liz’s. Just as Hank pulled him into the room, Max caught hold of the doorframe and tried to kick his way out of Hank’s hands.
He heard his foot collide with one of Hank’s hands, but that was the most damage he managed to do. Hank cursed and kicked Max with blunt force. Max’s hands lost their grip on the door frame and Hank dragged him further into the room.
Hank tackled Max when he had him in the opposite corner, the ropes already in his hands. He tied the first around Max’s neck, tight enough to already be cutting into his esophagus. Moving any further away caused him to gag.
He lifted his hands up to try and loosen the rope and Hank quickly took them and tied them together. Max groaned in frustrated protest, already losing any hope he had of getting away.
He barely flinched when his shirt was literally torn off. Hank had forgotten to remove it before he had tied up his hands. Max was already resigned to his fate. It was unavoidable.
He shivered, the cold air making his skin prickle and his jaw tremble. The trembling only intensified when his socks, pants and boxers followed his shirt. Max closed his eyes and the helpless feeling took him over, turning into rage. He clenched his jaw and spoke angrily, “I hate you.”
“Ha!” Hank paced up and down the opposite wall. Max, laying on his stomach, could only see Hank every time he passed by the door. His silhouette would appear in front of the lighted hallways for a second before disappearing back against the dark walls. “If you only knew how much I despise you… how much everyone despises you…”
“I fucking hate you!” Max screamed, yanking away from the wall. The rope cut into his neck and he gasped for breath for a few seconds.
Hank made a strange noise and shook his head, “You unappreciative little shit.”
And he came at him, fists flying into every inch of Max’s body.
Max couldn’t even protect his face with his hands bound. He was forced to take what he was given. Hank stopped his tirade and then Max heard him messing with the belt on his pants.
/Present/
“He… he kept beating me and did… you know… so many times. I lost track and I just…I slowly went numb to it all…” His voice broke off slightly until he cleared his throat to continue, “I remember the sun coming up and the alarm on my watch going off for me to wake up for school and then I remember Hank coming into here for the nth time that night… but then I can’t remember anything until the hospital. God, that’s… that’s like five hours that I can’t account for … I wasn’t strong enough to stop him… I never was. I provoked him. All I wanted to do that entire night was to die. I messed up so badly.”
Liz fought back her tears so Max wouldn’t see them. If he saw them, she knew that he would blame himself for causing them. It was taking a lot of her energy to focus enough and support him when all she felt like doing was collapsing on the floor and crying over the injustice of his life. She couldn’t let him dodge the center of attention again. She pulled him into another embrace, soothingly rubbing his back. She whispered into his ear, “You felt like you had no other options. It wasn’t your fault; it was all Hank's doing.”
TBC...
Last edited by sprayadhesive on Wed Apr 18, 2007 8:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.