Roswell Fanatics

So sorry to be MIA for so long. Where did that time go? That's right, I was suffering writer's block.

I hope you enjoy this delayed update!



21

“So where are you headed?” The taxi driver asked as we piled into the backseat at the airport.

Max gave the driver the address of our apartment, and my heart clenched into a tight fist.

“Do you mind if we go to Maria’s instead?” I asked.

“Do you need to pick up some stuff?” Max asked.

“Um, it’s not that, I just...” How could I explain to him that despite wanting to try to work things out between us, I just wasn’t ready to go back to that apartment where there were more bad memories than good?

“It’s okay. I completely understand.” Max smiled, squeezing my hand.

“You do?” I asked shocked.

“Yeah, I do. It hasn’t been my favourite place to hang out either – not without you. It doesn’t feel like home anymore. I’m not sure it ever did.”

I smiled at him. He did understand, and he wasn’t mad.

“Besides, if we are going to have a bunch of kids, we really need somewhere with a yard.” Max smiled, and his eyes lit up at the thought of the possibilities. “We need room for a cubby house, a sandpit, lots of lawn for them to run around on, a trampoline...”

“How many kids are you picturing in this scenario?” I asked curiously – either it was more than one, or this kid was going to be spoilt rotten.

“Enough to start a basketball team.” Max grinned.

I couldn’t comprehend how we had gone from zero kids to ten in a few months. I looked over at Max to see if he was putting this on for my benefit – telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. I could see a smile had settled on his face even though he wasn’t aware of me watching. No – he wanted this for himself too. This new Max was genuine about wanting to start a family.

“How about we start with one and see where we go from there.” I sighed in contentment.

“Okay. But our kid is still going to need a swing set, and a sandpit, and a ...” Max went off again on his fantasy childhood backyard.

“Don’t get too carried away.” I teased. “You’re going to have to find a landlord who won’t mind too many alterations.”

“Then maybe we should buy instead.” Max suggested.

“Are you serious?” I asked. We had never been so tied to any place before – always signing month to month leases so we could always leave to go somewhere new. Buying meant permanency – it meant planting roots.

“I think it’s about time that we settled down properly. And besides, I didn’t think you could bring yourself to move away from Maria and Emily now?” Max countered.

He was right. There was nowhere else I wanted to live. Nowhere else I wanted to raise a family.

“Okay. We’ll buy a house.” I said, although I still couldn’t believe it.

Pulling up at Maria’s house, Max paid the taxi driver, and I was still in a stunned silence while Max carried the bags up to the door.

“Ready?” Max asked.

“For what?” I asked, wondering if I had been in such a daze that I had missed the topic we had now moved onto.

“For Hurricane Deluca.” Max smiled, as he pushed the unlocked front door open wide.

“There you two are!!” Maria gushed, as she ran down the hallway and threw her arms around me – almost barrelling me over. “I can’t believe you two are back together!!” She cried, turning to give Max a quick hug, before a playful slap of the back of the head, and returning to me for another hug.

“I ... can’t ... breathe...” I stammered, trying to disentangle myself from Maria.

“Sorry, I just can’t believe it. I have been waiting for you two idiots to sort all of this out, and I can’t believe you have finally done it!”

“I take full responsibility.” Max replied solemnly, squeezing my hand.

“And so you should.” Maria retorted, but she gave him a smile to show there were no hard feelings. She stood to one side so that we could step over the threshold and put our luggage down in the hallway. We followed her up to the kitchen where Emily was sitting happily in her bouncer.

“What are you two doing here anyway – I thought you’d go straight back to the apartment.” Maria asked, putting the kettle on to boil.

“I was wondering if I could stay here for a little bit longer.” I stammered, suddenly nervous to ask.

“Why?” Maria asked, and she couldn’t help dart a look at Max as though he done something wrong to be in the dog-house already. Why else would I want to stay here?

“We’re going to cancel our lease and look for somewhere to buy.” I replied.

“Oh, in the case, of course you’re welcome to stay here.” Maria smiled, unable to hide how happy she was that we were showing signs of permanency – both in location and relationship.

* * * * *

“So...” Max said, closing the bedroom door behind him.

“So...” I replied, sitting on the bed nervously.

“Are you sure wouldn’t prefer for me to sleep on the couch?” Max offered for the millionth time.

“Of course not.” I replied. “Why would I want you to do that? It’s not like we haven’t been sleeping anywhere but in the same bed for the past few days.”

“I know.” Max acknowledged. “But that was Denver. I wasn’t sure... now that we’re home ... I thought maybe you would want to take it slow.”

“That’s sweet Max, but I’m fine, really.” I smiled. “I want to be with my husband tonight.”

“I’m glad.” Max smiled, taking a seat next to me on the bed.

“There is one thing that I’m a bit nervous about though.” I admitted.

“What’s that?”

I got up from the bed and walked to my satchel on the desk. I pulled out my manuscript and handed it to him.

“Can you do me a favour and read my book?” I asked.

Max beamed. “Of course.”

He then proceeded to prop himself up on the bed with some pillows and turn to page one.

“You don’t have to read it now.” I pointed out.

“Are you kidding me? I can’t wait to read it.” Max smiled like a kid in a candy store.

“It’s almost midnight.” I added.

“I promise to turn the pages quietly.” Max smiled, pulling back the bedsheets, indicating that I should lie down and get some sleep while he read.

“I’m not going to be able to sleep knowing that you’re reading it.” I argued.

“Well I’m not going to be able to sleep knowing that I could be reading it, so I guess we’re at an impasse.” Max grinned.

“I’ll go and put a pot of coffee on.” I sighed, heading to the kitchen.

It was almost nine in the morning by the time Max turned over the final page. I had struggled to keep my eyes off him all night, wanting to watch every single emotion that crossed his face as he read the story. The emotion on his face as he put the manuscript down was hard to read. I was going to say ‘grief’ or ‘sadness’ until his lips descended on mine with an incredible hunger.

“So ... did ... you ... like ... it?” I asked between kisses.

“Are you kidding? It was gut-wrenchingly tragic, yet incredibly beautiful.” Max replied.

“The ending?” I persisted.

“Was perfect.” Max announced.

“You don’t think I should have ended it on more of a happy note?” I asked.

“Not everyone gets a happy ever after.” Max agreed with my line of thinking.

“That’s what I said.” I smiled, remembering the conversation with my editor.

“But you know what Liz Parker?” Max added, kissing my collarbone, indicating the start of something more. “You will. I will make sure you do get your fairytale ending.”

Thanks for all of the feedback It's nice to know that there are still people reading this despite my long absences.

Here's just a short part ... short but sweet

22

“Oh would you two break it up already!? There are young children around.” Maria groaned when she walked into the house and found Max and I, yet again, making out on the couch.

“I don’t think Emily is old enough to be impressionable.” I pointed out.

“You can never be too sure…” Maria replied, unshielding Emily’s eyes when she was sure the adult content had ceased.

“We’re sorry Maria.” Max smiled widely. “Well cut it out. Besides, we’re going out now anyway.”

“We are?” I turned to him surprised. That’s the first I’d heard of it. “I’m not sure I really feel like going out. My stomach has been feeling a bit off today.”

“There’s a place for sale over on Lancaster Street I thought we could check out. The realtor says this one’s it for sure this time.” Max explained.

“He said that about the last ten he showed us.” I groaned. I didn’t realise buying a house would be so hard. Nothing seemed to be perfect. I was starting to think perfection was overrated, and a place of our own without cramping Maria and her family was more important.

“I’ve had a look on the web. It does look pretty good.” Max replied, pulling out his Iphone and bringing up the website that he had bookmarked.

“I really need to get me one of these.” I sighed. It was time I moved into the 21st century.

“And it does look pretty nice.” I added, once I had scrolled through the pictures of the house. “Look at those French doors!”

“So, let’s go. Bye Maria.” Max called to the kitchen where Maria had exited to.

“By Maria.” I echoed as I grabbed my purse and followed him out the door.

The house was perfect. A little pricier than what either of us had originally anticipated spending, but it would be worth it. Brand new kitchen with a granite benchtop, enough bedrooms for a couple of kids, one study for me, a dark room for Max, and plenty of lawn in the backyard. And it wasn’t far from Maria’s house which was a plus.

“I can’t believe we have finally found our house!” I exclaimed, clutching Max’s hand and doing a little happy dance.

“It’s going to be perfect.” Max smiled, squeezing my hand in return.

On the way home, on a high from our big purchase, I splashed out on my own Iphone, and we spent the rest of the afternoon setting it up and discovering the joy of ‘apps’. Max even showed me how he set his up so he would get a notification whenever ‘Lily’ was online. It was pretty cool. I set a photo of Max standing in front of our new house as my wallpaper. Surprisingly, I even started to believe for myself that life could turn out perfect after all. Maybe I would get my happy ever after as promised.

* * * * *

Life was not perfect.

Life was spinning out of control and there was nothing I could do about it.

I wasn’t ready for this.

I couldn’t believe that Max was ready for this.

It was happening way too soon.

I couldn’t breathe.

I felt like I was going to be sick.

And that wasn’t the first time in the past few days.

But it was the first time I felt that way with a little stick in my hand showing two clear lines.

We were pregnant.

Again.

I wasn’t ready for this.

There was only one person I could talk to about this.

* * * * *

Lily: Samuel? Are you online?
Samuel: Hey! I see you remembered how to use the chat application on your phone. Where are you?
Lily: In the bathroom. Can I talk to you about something?
Samuel: Michael and I are just pulling up at Maria’s. I’ll be inside in a sec.
Lily: No. That’s not what I meant. I was hoping that we could talk like this, rather than in person.
Samuel: Okay… what’s up?
Lily: I need to talk to you, you know, like we used to, when we were Samuel and Lily, and not Max and Liz.
Samuel: Why?
Lily: Because there was a time when I thought that Samuel was the only person who really understood what I was going through, and, well, I need that friend again.
Samuel: Liz, you’re starting to scare me. What’s wrong?
Lily: Just pretend for a moment that I’m not Liz, I’m Lily, and you don’t know that I’m your wife.
Samuel: Okay… Lily. What’s wrong?
Lily: Something’s happened and I don’t know how my husband is going to react. I’m scared.
Samuel: Why are you scared? What could be so wrong that you would be scared to talk to him about whatever it is?
Lily: I’m worried that maybe he’s been telling me what I want to hear, and not what he really feels.
Samuel: Do you really think that? Have you had any reason to believe that he hasn’t been genuine?
Lily: No. I just. I don’t want to get hurt again.
Max: You think he’ll hurt you?
Lily: No. Yes. I don’t know. I know he’s trying really hard to make this work, we both are. But maybe we haven’t had enough time to be us before things have to change.
Max: Is it because you are moving house in a week? Is it too much of a step?
Lily: It’s not that. I’m excited to move.
Samuel: Then what is it?
Lily: I don’t know how to say this…
Samuel: Just do it. I promise there is nothing to be scared of.
Lily: Okay. Here goes… I’m pregnant.

I stared at the screen which lit up with a note saying Samuel was offline. Crap. I knew it. I knew it was too much too soon. I would have sunk to the ground in defeat, if I wasn’t already sitting in the cold tiles. Instead, I put my head in my hands and let the tears fall.

That was until the bathroom door burst open and I felt myself swept up in Max’s arms.

“Is it true?! We’re having a baby?” Max asked expectantly. I nodded, waiting for the explosion of fear and confusion, but instead he spun me around the small bathroom.

“You’re not mad?” I asked, once he had placed me safely back on the ground.

“Are you serious?” He joked, then looked at the fear on my face. “You are serious. Haven’t I told you enough how much I want to have children with you?”

“I know you have. I just … it was such a turnaround from the way you felt before. I guess I had trouble believing it.” I confessed.

“I understand why you feel that way, and I don’t blame you for not trusting me when it comes to this subject. But let me assure you – I am ecstatic at the thought of becoming a father. I may still have some hang ups, but that’s just going to mean that I may wrap you in cotton wool for the next nine months to make sure that both you and the baby are okay. Do you think you can live with that?”

I pictured being waited on hand and foot, not being allowed to open the box in this move or having to clean another bathroom for the next nine months.

“I don’t think that will be a problem.” I smiled. I would be more than happy to avoid anything that might cause another miscarriage. I was determined to protect this baby with all of my strength.

“And please don’t ever be scared to talk to me, as me, ever again okay?” Max added.

“I won’t.” I smiled, letting Max lead me out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where Michael and Maria were preparing lunch.

“Everything okay?” Maria asked, seeing my tear stained cheeks.

“We’re having a baby.” Max beamed.

Needless to say, Maria-mania ensued and we were both smothered with both hugs and questions until Max insisted that I be allowed to sit and rest.

I sat back and watched as Max spoke animatedly to Michael and Maria, and noticed how he paid extra attention to Emily as though he was already wanting to learn as much as could about how to look after a baby. He was being amazing about the whole thing, and I hoped that I could make myself be just as excited as him.

But I couldn’t. I didn’t know how I would cope if I let myself get used to the idea of being pregnant again, only to lose the baby, again. My heart hadn’t fully recovered from the last time.

Max looked over to me, and I could see the look of happiness on his face immediately turn to a look of worry. I gave him a smile to let him know that I was okay, but I wasn’t fooling him. He knelt down next to me and placed one of my hands in his.

“It’s going to be okay.” Max promised.

“I hope you’re right.” I sighed.

“I am. I can feel it.” Max smiled.

And looking into to his eyes, so happy and full of hope and anticipation – I believed him.

Sorry, sorry, sorry for being so slack with this update. Life is just a bit hectic at the moment. But I've been inspired by the bumps (and a couple of wonderful people nominating this fic in the fanfiction awards)

I was actually going to wrap this fic up quickly, but it's taken a bit of a turn, so it will be here for just a little bit longer.

This part isn't long, but I promise to speed up the next update. Maybe even next week while I'm lying down all week recovering from surgery. I'll have plenty of time on my hands, so hopefully the inspiration will come. Anaesthetic induced inspiration could be interesting...

Thanks to everyone for hanging in there.


23

Approximately 5 ½ months later...

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Max blurted.

“What? Why?” I asked. We had talked about this ad nauseam. I was fine. The book tour was going great, and this was the last stop before we head home.

“I had a bad dream last night and it’s left me with a feeling that I can’t shake. I think we should cancel so you can go home and rest.”

“But I feel fine. And I’ll be sitting down the whole time anyway.” I pointed out. “It’s not different to sitting on the couch watching tv, only that I’ll have a pen in my hand instead.”

“I guess you’re right. It’s just me being paranoid as usual.” Max admitted.

“And I love you for it.” I smiled, giving him a quick peck on the cheek as the taxi pulled to a stop in front of the bookstore. There was a line of people stretching around the block – definitely the biggest turn out so far.

“Are you sure you’re up to this?” Max asked one more time.

Over the past 5 months or so, Max had come through on his promise to wrap me in cotton wool, to the point I looked forward to the opportunity to get off the couch and make my own cup of tea.

“Of course. I’ll be fine.” I replied one more time.

My pregnancy had been going like a dream, and I had never felt so alive and radiant. I was only in the second trimester, and I still had enough energy for everything I wanted to do, so when my publisher suggested a short book tour for my latest novel, I didn’t hesitate in agreeing to it.

Needless to say, Max was worried, but we compromised. I could do the tour if he came along to ensure that I didn’t over do it. He was constantly at my side, but I loved it. Who wouldn’t want to be treated like they’re the most important person in someone’s world?

We walked inside, waving at the crowd as we passed. The manager had me soon settled, and I took a moment to breathe in the smell of books. Not quite as good as the library smell, but almost. It always made me feel at home.

“Let me know if you need anything.” Max said, kissing me on the cheek as he stepped away from the table and into the shadows, ensuring I had the limelight all to myself.

Over the next hour, I signed my name so many times I was sure my hand was going to begin to cramp, but I didn’t mind. I met so many smiling people, many of whom told me that my book had a real impact on their lives.

“Hi, my name is Susie, and I just want to say that I absolutely love your books. You’re my favourite author. Do you think I could get a photo with you?” Susie asked, holding up her camera.

“Sure.” I smiled. It wasn’t often people asked for photos – it wasn’t as though I had a recognisable face, but she was obviously a true fan.

As I stood up, I felt a slight twinge across my stomach, and gave my belly a little rub – something I always did when I felt the baby moving. It was my way of reassuring him or her that they weren’t alone.

“Great, got it.” Susie’s friend announced, and Susie gave me a quick hug goodbye.

Something didn’t feel right, and I immediately made eye contact with the manager to tell him I was done. He immediately read my cues and came up to the table.

“I’m sorry, we’re going to have to finish there.” The store manager announced, to the resounding sounds of groans from those who missed out.

I gave a quick wave to those still hanging around, and went to step away from the table. That was when I felt a gush of water that resembled Niagara Falls running down my legs.

I looked up madly for Max, who was already racing over to me.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his eyes searching mine, knowing something was wrong.

“My w-water just broke.” I stammered.

Max’s face went pale, mirroring mine.

“Don’t panic.” Max said, although I could tell he was beginning to himself. “It will be okay.”

“I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t help but apologise. Max had warned me and now look what had happened...

“It’s not your fault.” Max replied. “We’ll get you to a hospital. It will be okay.”

“I’m only 24 weeks! It’s too early.” I couldn’t breathe.

“Let’s not panic until we need to.” Max tried to maintain a level head, and I was grateful. I knew how much this must be affecting him.

* * * * *

“You’re going to need to have complete bed rest so as to delay the onset of labour for as long as possible.” The doctor explained. Max was clasping my hand so tightly I thought my fingers were going blue. “If the baby can stay in there for even just one more week, it will increase its odds of survival greatly.”

“What kind of odds are we looking at?” Max asked.

“Your baby’s lungs haven’t fully developed yet. That doesn’t happen for another couple of weeks.” The doctor explained.

“The odds?” Max persisted.

“Not quite 40%.” The doctor answered.

I inhaled sharply. 40%?

“I’m so sorry. This is my fault.” I blurted. “I shouldn’t have done the book tour. I should have been home resting.”

“It’s not your fault.” Max soothed, before turning to the doctor. “Right Doc?”

“We’re not sure at this stage what caused your waters to break early, but it is likely that this would have happened no matter what you were doing.” The doctor confirmed.

“You see?” Max smiled at me, and it reduced the amount of blame I felt toward myself.

He then turned to the doctor. “What about Liz, Doc? Wha-what are the risks for her?” Max stammered.

“With the amniotic sac ruptured, there is a chance of infection, so we’ll have her on antibiotics as a preventative measure until the baby is born.” The doctor replied.

“But she’s going to be okay?” Max confirmed.

“Liz is going to be fine. We just need to concentrate on the baby now.” The doctor said.

“Can I go home?” I asked.

“No. You’re going to have to stay in hospital until the baby is born. We need to prevent the risk of infection, as well as prevent the onset of labour for as long as possible. Travelling is out of the question. All going well, this hospital bed will be your home for the next twelve weeks and you’ll give birth to a full term healthy baby.”

“And if we can’t stop labour. What if the baby comes tomorrow?” I asked.

“We’ll worry about that if it comes to that. But let’s think positively, shall we?” The doctor smiled before walking out of the room, leaving Max and I to digest everything.

“It’s not so bad.” Max said, looking around the room. “You have a view of the building next door, and you can hear all the latest gossip between the nurses at the station right outside the door.”

“It’s going to be okay.” I said, more to convince myself than Max.

“It is.” Max replied, with about as much enthusiasm as I could manage.

“I’m so sorry.” I apologised again. “I know how hard this must be for you...”

“It’s hard for both of us...” Max replied.

“But more so for you... you know ... being here with me ... in this situation.” I stammered. How was I supposed to bring up what happened with his mum? It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I needed to make sure he was okay – that he wasn’t freaking out.

The look of realisation dawned on Max’s face, and he smiled.

“You know... I hadn’t given it a moment’s thought.”

I felt a mountain of relief wash over me. The very last thing I wanted was for this pregnancy to put Max through hell.

“Liz...” Max said, pulling his chair closer to my bed and clasping my hand in both of his. “The only thing on my mind is getting our child out here in this world safely. I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure that happens. Your safe, and our baby is going to be safe too.”

“How can you be so sure?” I asked. 40% wasn’t very good odds.

“Because I feel it in my heart.” Max replied, placing my hand on his chest.

And the moment I touched him, I could feel it too.

Hi All,

Another short part, basically because I promised to post something this week, but frankly the stitches in my stomach make it hurt too much to sit for too long at a computer at the moment.

Enjoy. Short but, I think, very sweet.

Thanks for all the feedback. I'm glad you have all hung around and waited for me. Oh, and thanks for all the nominations (I've been snooping). You guys are so cool! What a way to make my week!


24

“So Charlotte tells Jeremy that she’s having his baby, and he gets down on one knee, right in the middle of the hallway, and proposes!” Sandy gossiped.

Who is Sandy? Only my favourite nurse on the ward. She was good to take my mind off things. I had been in the hospital for two weeks, and every day I would relax just that little bit more. Our baby now had an estimated survival rate of 80%, and to me, they were pretty good odds. I was hoping to make it to full term though.

“Wait... which one is Charlotte again?” I asked, pausing mid-typing.

“The one with the long brown hair, always pulled up into a French twist. She was on the late shift yesterday.”

“Got it. So what did she say?” I asked curiously.

“She told him that she had to think about it.”

“I thought she was in love with Jeremy?” I asked confused.

“She was, but that was until she met the new Cardio doctor, Chris. He just transferred from LA.” Sandy announced.

“Does she really think he’s going to want to shack up with someone who is pregnant to another man at the same hospital?” I asked.

“The word on the street is, he’s a bit of a lady’s man. Left a few broken hearts back on the west coast...” Sandy winked.

“You know what? I’m going to have to get you to start dictating this stuff. I can’t create fiction this good.” I joked.

“Just as long as there is a part in there for me. Strong, sultry, mysterious nurse falls in love with a handsome, and incredibly rich, patient...”

“You know you are my muse.” I smiled, waving Sandy out of the room.

Truth was, I was already writing again. I had originally planned on taking a break after my last book, so I would have plenty of time to concentrate on the last trimester of my pregnancy, and getting ready for the baby. But now, with circumstances as they are, even Max agreed that throwing myself back into my writing is probably what I needed now. There was only so much day-time television a girl could watch before her thoughts wandered.

Even though I was joking with Sandy about the contents of the new book, it wasn’t far from the truth. It was hard not to base my book in a place that I was spending so much of my time. I had Sandy picked out for the part of the caring and helpful nurse, who always gave her favourite patients an extra dash of chocolate topping on their icecream. I guess I would have to find her a love interest now, just to keep her happy.

“I never see you now without your head in your computer.” Maria observed, walking into the room and dumping two arms full of bags of shopping on the only spare chair in the room.

“Taking in the sights I see.” I smiled, indicating to the bags.

“What can I say? The shopping is better here than Roswell, New Mexico. I can’t help myself.” Maria shrugged. “Oh, that reminds me, I bought the cutest little outfit for the baby...”

Maria dug around in the shopping bags and eventually pulled out the smallest little sailor outfit, complete with hat and booties.

“It is gorgeous.” I smiled at Maria. “But what if it’s a girl?”

“Then, I bought a fairy outfit!” Maria said, pulling a pink taffeta outfit out of one of the other mystery bags.

“You really need to stop spoiling the baby. Especially when they are not here yet to appreciate it.” I scolded Maria. I really didn’t want to spend her money buying anything more until the baby was out in the world, safe and sound. Despite the ever increasing odds, that little doubt in the back of my mind wouldn’t always behave itself.

“Nonsense.” Maria dismissed me. “I found these gorgeous little jump suits too. Don’t worry, I bought them in green and yellow, so it didn’t matter what sex the baby turned out to be. I didn’t know what size to get though, so I bought them in every size they made...” Maria trailed off.

I picked up the smallest size. The one designed to fit a ‘preemie’. They were so small they looked like they should fit on a doll, rather than a baby. It scared me to think that my baby could be born so small. How could something so small have everything it needed to survive this big dangerous world? A full heart, ample lungs, a complete brain... they would all be so tiny.

The moment I realised there were tears running down my face, I couldn’t breathe anymore.

“Liz? Liz!” Maria ran to my side, whisking the clothes out of my hands and clasping my hands.

“What if... what if...” I repeated. What if the baby didn’t make it...

“Liz. I need you to calm down for me.” I think I heard Maria say. “You need to calm down for the baby...”

I couldn’t. It was as though Maria was talking to me through a fog. I couldn’t focus on what she was saying, all I could think about was my small, tiny, fragile baby.

“Liz? Liz!” Another voice called to me, and within seconds he was right in front of me, dominating the view.

Max. The only one who could bring me back.

“Breathe, Liz. Just breathe.” Max’s voice coaxed. “That’s it.”

I felt my breathing slow, and clarity begin to return.

“It’s going to be okay, as long as you stay relaxed. Everything is okay.” Max insisted.

“I’m sorry.” I eventually said. “I panicked.”

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have shown you the clothes. I should have waited until the baby was born.” Maria apologised. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, it’s okay Maria. If it wasn’t that, it would have been something else that set me off. Yesterday I was crying over a Labrador puppy toilet paper commercial. It’s really not your fault.” I insisted.

“Well, I’m taking these away, just to be on the safe side.” Maria announced, gathering up all of her bags and immediately leaving the room.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Max asked once Maria was gone, not having let go of his clasp on my hands.

“I’ll be fine. I might just have a bit of a lie down though.” I gave in, packing up my laptop and lowering the height of my pillow.

“I’ll leave you to get some rest.” Max offered, going to stand up.

“No. Stay with me.” I pleaded, not letting go of his hand.

“For as long as you need me.” Max promised.

Here's the next chapter... slightly based on my recent hospital experience (I dropped my remote while in a post-anaesthesia daze, and the tv was stuck on some pre-school tv show. I was so used to having to watch kids shows at home, I was devastated that I had messed up my chance to watch something with more adult content (I think Bold and the Beautiful or Oprah was on). Turns out it didn't matter too much because I couldn't keep my eyes open for more than 5 minutes anyway).

I hope you enjoy.


25

“Oh crap.” I muttered to myself as I realised I had dropped the remote on the floor... again. Why didn’t they permanently attach them to the hospital beds, considering the nurse call button was also on same said remote. Isn’t that a health hazard when there are klutzes like me?

And Grey’s Anatomy was about to start and now I was going to miss it.

“Max... Max? Are you awake?” I whispered to sleeping beauty over in the chair by my bed.

I could wake him up, but gosh-darn-it he looked so peaceful that I couldn’t bring myself to do it. He should have booked himself a room in a nice hotel somewhere to get a decent night sleep, rather than trying to sleep in uncomfortable hospital chairs or cots to be by my bedside as much as possible. He was going to need a good chiropractic adjustment by the end of this.

I could go without my Grey’s fix, but that wasn’t my first choice.

My other option was to reach around and find the end of the remove cord and fish it back up off the floor myself. It didn’t seem that far around. I only needed to roll over and...

And then my world shattered as an excruciating pain ripped through my stomach.

“Max!” I yelled this time, in too much of a panic to raise him from sleep gently.

“W-what is it?” He asked, getting his bearings. He took one look at my face and raced into the hallway. “Help! We need some help in here!”

A couple of nurses came running, and on examination, they called the doctor.

“What’s happening? What’s going on?” I asked, sensing that there was something they weren’t telling me – more than the obvious anyway.

“You’re haemorrhaging. We need to get you into an operating theatre. We need to get this baby out.” One of the nurses explained, Cheryl I think her name was. I watched as Max looked down at the sheets and his face went white. Obviously I was bleeding a lot.

They unlocked the brakes on my hospital bed and started wheeling me out into to the hallway. Max grabbed my hand and ran alongside.

“Is the baby going to be okay?” I asked panicked, unaware of how hard Max was squeezing my hand.

They didn’t answer me but gave me a sympathetic look.

“Max!” I cried. “I’m so sorry... I was reaching for the remote... I didn’t want to wake you...”

“Shush... it’s not your fault. It’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.” Max promised, before he was forced to let go as they rushed me through the doors of the operating theatre.

“Wait... can’t Max come with me?” I asked. The father was usually allowed into the room during a c-section, wasn’t he?

“Not in this case.” Cheryl explained.

There was a lot of bustle, and before I knew it, I had a mask put over my face. It was the last thing that I remembered before I drifted away.

* * * * *

“Wake up sleepy head...” I heard a female voice whisper.

My eyes fluttered open, and everything around me was white.

Not exactly what I imagined heaven to look like. There were more monitors and machines than I had pictured - and less clouds.

“Welcome back Liz.” The voice said again. I looked over and saw Sandy standing over me.

“You’re here too?” I mumbled.

“Of course. I work here.” Sandy smiled.

My eyes focused a little bit more, and my head became a little bit clearer. I was in the hospital. I was alive.

“The baby?” I asked, trying to sit up.

“Don’t even try that. You have had major abdominal surgery. You are going to need your rest.” Sandy put a hand on my shoulder.

“The baby?” I asked again.

“You baby girl has been taken to the Intensive Care Baby Unit. Max is with her.” Sandy smiled.

“Is she okay?” I asked desperately.

“She’s as healthy as you would expect for a baby born at twenty eight weeks.” Sandy smiled. “She’s on a ventilator and they are monitoring her constantly, but she is as healthy as we can hope for.”

“Can I see her?” I asked.

“Eventually. Right now we need to focus on looking after you. You gave everyone a scare you know.” Sandy admitted, and I wondered if that was really a tear in her eye.

“What happened?” I asked.

“You suffered a massive haemorrhage. Your placenta came away from the wall of your uterus.” Sandy explained.

“Could I have died?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yes. Both you and the baby. You were lucky you were already in the hospital so we could act quickly.” Sandy replied, checking my vitals.

My heart went out to Max. What had I put him through over the last few hours?

“Can I see Max?” I asked.

“As soon as you’re out of recovery. I’ll let him know that you’re awake.” Sandy announced before leaving me to think about everything.

I couldn’t believe things turned out this way. This is not what I had wanted. I had wanted a normal pregnancy. I had wanted a perfect natural, safe birth. I had wanted Max by my side the entire time. I had wanted to hold my baby in my arms the moment she was born.

I did not want to give birth while under general anaesthetic. I did not want my husband pacing the hallway wondering if I was okay. I did not want my baby to be put straight from womb into an incubator crib.

I especially did not want to put Max through any of this. What he must have gone through?

A little while later I was wheeled out of recovery and into the hospital room that I had spent the last four weeks in. It wasn’t the same now that I was back here and my baby was somewhere else in the hospital. I had been trying to stay in this room as long as possible – everyday just trying to give my baby one more day to grow. Now that she was born, I didn’t want to be here anymore.

The moment the nurses left me, Max burst into the room and was immediately by my side.

“Oh Liz... you have no idea how worried I was...” He said before covering me in kisses.

“I’m so sorry I put you through that.” I apologised. “You can’t imagine how-“

“Liz.” Max interrupted. “If you apologise one more time... It is not your fault. I’m just overjoyed that you’re okay. That you’re both okay.”

“Is she beautiful?” I asked, a tear in my eye.

“She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She looks just like her mother.” Max smiled.

“I want to see her.” I pleaded.

“I will do everything I can to make that happen, but I won’t let you put yourself at risk by getting out of bed too soon.” Max explained.

“Okay.” I agreed, although my heart wasn’t in it. I felt like a part of me was missing.

“I did bring you a photo.” Max announced, pulling out his Iphone. He had taken a dozen photos of our little girl.

“She’s beautiful.” I cried, looking at my little baby hooked up to so many tubes and machines.

“We need to give her a name.” Max eventually interrupted.

“What about Diane. After you mother?” I offered. It had been something I had been thinking about for a while now.

“That’s a nice gesture Liz, but isn’t it a little old fashioned these days?” Max pointed out.

“Maybe...” I replied, a little relieved that he felt that way.

“What about Sarah Diane. Sarah means ‘princess’ you know.” Max suggested.

“Perfect.” I smiled.

Here it is as promised. It was nice getting a chance to write again (while catching up on Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and Glee - my husband is having a boys night! ).


26

“Have you talked to Max?” I asked Maria. She was the one currently designated to keeping me busy so I didn’t try and get up to the nursery to see Sarah before I was allowed. A glorified babysitter.

“About what in particular?” Maria asked, flipping quickly through a gossip magazine only to put it aside with a bored sigh.

“You know... about Sarah’s birth. How it all went down. How he’s feeling...” I clarified.

“No I haven’t... I’m guessing you haven’t either.” Maria replied.

“I’ve tried. He tells me that he’s fine, but I can’t believe it. Not after what happened to his mother. Not after what happened between us... His fear tore us apart, and I’ve made him relive it all again.”

“But you’re okay now. Sarah’s okay. Max is okay too.” Maria comforted.

“I am, you know.” A voice came from the doorway. I looked over to see that Max was standing there, having listened to our conversation – at least the tail end of it.

“I’m so sorry.” I started crying, the combination of the stress and surge of hormones making everything just spill over. “I didn’t want to put you through any of that.”

Max came over and sat on the edge of the bed, wiping away the tears from my cheeks. “It wasn’t your fault. I’ve told you that a million times.”

“I know you have, and I know you’re right. But still... it must have been so hard for you.”

“I won’t deny that it was some of the most excruciating few hours of my life, but it’s over now. Your safe and Sarah’s safe, that’s all that matters.” Max replied.

“Is it?” I asked. I thought back to the doctor’s news from the day before.

“Liz... about what the doctor said. I need to know how you feel about it.”

“I’m okay.” I replied, and prompted by Max’s disbelieving look, I added, “Really.”

“Are you sure? It’s a big deal.” Max still didn’t believe me.

It was a big deal. I couldn’t have any more children. Even before the damage from the haemorrhage, my uterus was too weak to cope with a second pregnancy. Sarah would be it for us, but I was okay with that.

“Max. I can’t go through this again, even if it was possible. It was stressful enough the first time, always worried about how you were feeling and whether it was too stressful for you. I almost died Max – I can’t risk not being here for you, or for Sarah.” I explained.

“I was hoping you would feel that way.” Max hugged the life out of me. “I really don’t think I could go through that again.”

“I’m sorry...” I apologised again.

“No more apologising.” Max commanded.

“I-” I began before Max clasped one hand over my mouth.

“I just...” I continued, after removing Max’s hand.

“What?” Max prompted, letting me continue this time.

“I just wanted more than anything for this pregnancy to go smoothly for you. I wanted it to be perfect.” I explained.

“It was perfect.” Max smiled. “It gave us Sarah. She couldn’t be any more perfect.”

“When can I see her?” I whined.

“Well...” Max smiled, getting up from the bed and heading for the hallway. He returned with a wheelchair.

“Oh my goodness, oh my goodness...” I squealed.

“Oo, oo, let me get the camera!” Maria shrieked, before we both gaped at her. “What? We have to ensure the moment is appropriately captured – you’re going to see your baby for the first time!”

“I’m going to see my baby...” I repeated. “Are you sure it’s okay?”

“I checked with the doctor, and they said as long as you stay in the wheelchair, it would be okay.” Max replied.

I began to try and sit up to get out of the bed, when Max made me stop.

“Don’t even think about it. You shouldn’t be doing that.” Max warned, before sweeping me up in his arms and carrying me to the chair.

He acted as though I was as light as a feather, and tried not to think about the extra weight I had put on during the pregnancy.

“You’re beautiful.” Max said, kissing me on the forehead, as if reading my thoughts.

I blushed, always amazed that after all this time Max could have that effect on me.

“Ready to see your daughter Liz?” Max asked.

“Absolutely.”

Max wheeled me down what seemed like an endless corridor before we went through the double doors into the nursery. There were a couple of nurses that smiled at Max as we came in, obviously having seen him in here many times over the past week.

I nervously went closer to the crib that contained my tiny, tiny daughter. And I started to panic. What if when I saw her, I didn’t feel that bond that I had read all about? What if I was going to be a horrible mother? What if...?

“Here she is.” Max interrupted my panicked thoughts as he wheeled me right up to the crib.

I looked in and my heart started breaking. My daughter. My perfect, beautiful daughter, should be in my arms, not tied up to so many machines.

“She’s put on weight and she’s growing.” Max said. “She’s doing so well. She’s such a fighter.”

“She’s so beautiful.” I sobbed. She was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen – the photos just hadn’t done her justice. I really wanted to hold her.

“You can touch her.” Max explained, showing me where I could reach into the crib through the small holes in the side.

My hand shook nervously as reached inside the crib and touched my baby for the first time. Her skin was so fragile, so soft, but I could feel the rise and fall of her chest and I knew that she was going to be okay.

“Are you okay?” Max asked, placing a hand on the small of my back.

I still couldn’t go without my pain medication, not yet. I couldn’t hold my baby in my arms, not yet. I couldn’t get out of the wheelchair to see her properly, not yet. But at this moment, I didn’t think life could get any better than this.

“Never been better.” I smiled, wiping the tears of joy from my eyes.

Here is the final installment. Sorry it has taken so long - I've been dealing with horrible morning sickness (insert happy dance here!!!)



27

Approximately twenty five years later…

“There was a time in my life when I couldn’t imagine myself standing here before you all today. But I have to tell you, that this is one of the proudest moments of my life. To be giving away my daughter Sarah to a man like Adam, and seeing the love that they clearly have for each other, makes my heart want to burst with happiness.

“I would like to say that there have been only two times in my life when I have felt this overwhelmingly happy – when I married Sarah’s mother, Liz, and the day Sarah was born, but that would be a lie. Because every day since Sarah’s birth, I have felt overwhelmingly dizzy with happiness. She is the sweetest, most beautiful daughter that a father could ever ask for.” Max spoke confidently to the crowd of one hundred plus people who were gathered at our daughters wedding.

“Many of you know the story of how Sarah came into the world, and the battle she had before her because she was born so premature. But she continually amazed us, and her doctors, as to how strong she was.

“Our home was turned upside down to say the least by the arrival of this little firecracker, but it was worth it. She set our world on fire in a way I could have never imagined.

“Our joy was doubled by the arrival of her brother Matthew, who we adopted from South Korea a few years later. Adam was shy at first, but Sarah soon brought him out of his shell. She had a habit of being able to do that with just about anybody. Nobody could withstand the infectious smile and big blue eyes that were Sarah’s weapons of choice.

“Fast forward through school, in which Sarah excelled in just about everything, her mother and I were proud to see her off to Harvard where she studied Astronomy, and where she met Adam.

“I remember when she first brought Adam home to visit us. I was prepared to not like the guy, given that it is hard for a father to admit that there is anyone good enough for his daughter – and from the boyfriends Sarah had brought home before, I was justified in my thinking. However, Sarah’s mother and I have come to adore Adam like a son. He is one of the most upstanding young men that I have ever met, and I wholeheartedly give my blessing to their union. I pray that their love rival that of Sarah’s mother and I.

“So I ask you all to raise a glass and toast to my daughter and son-in-law – may they have many, many happy years ahead of them – and give me many, many grandchildren! To Sarah and Adam!”

“To Sarah and Adam!” The reception exuberantly echoed Max’s toast.

“Great toast.” I smiled, as Max sat back down next to me at the parent’s table.

“Thanks.” Max grinned – the same grin that he had been unable to wipe from his face all day.

“I love seeing you so happy.” I smiled.

“It doesn’t get better than this does it?” Max asked whimsically.

I didn’t reply immediately.

“What…?” Max asked, sensing that something was wrong.

“I didn’t want to say anything until after the wedding…” I began.

“What…?” Max repeated, now worried.

“Matthew has decided to defer his place at Berkley next year and take a year off for travel.” I explained. Matthew and I had discussed it at length, and knowing how proud Max was that he was going to college, we didn’t want to tell him until after the wedding was over.

“What is he going to do?” Max asked hesitantly.

“He wants to travel.” I replied.

Max looked around the room, searching out Matthew, who was busy chatting to one of his friends at the bar. Seeing him, Max immediately rose from the table.

“Max! Max, please!” I called, and began to follow him.

“Matthew?” Max pulled our son aside. Matthew gave me a quick glance to confirm that his father had found out. “What’s this I hear about you travelling next year?”

“Look, Dad, I know you really wanted me to go to Berkley next year, but I’m only deferring. I do intend on going to college. I just want to get out and see the world first. I was hoping I could take one of your old cameras and I could travel around taking photographs, you know, just like you…” Max rambled.

“Matthew.” Max said, trying to control his emotion. “I think that is the best idea you could have had.”

As they embraced, I could see the look of relief on Matthew’s face.

“But I don’t think one of my old cameras will do the job well enough for you. How about I take you out shopping this week and I’ll get you your own gear. Maybe then we could take a weekend into the desert and try the gear out. I’ll show you how to get some great shots with different filters and lenses…” Max offered.

“What’s going on here? It looks like you’re having a family discussion without me? What, I get married and I’m not part of the family anymore?” Sarah joked.

“You will always be a part of this family.” I smiled, giving her a hug, and then pulling in Max and Matthew for a group hug – just like old times.

“Thank you for your speech.” Sarah said, hugging Max tightly. “Thank you both for everything.”

“You’re more than welcome. And you know, anytime you get bored of the East Coast, we could use an astronomer back here in Roswell.” I smiled. We had resigned ourselves to the fact that Sarah’s life was not in Roswell anymore, but I couldn’t help but try.

“Actually… I’ve received a job offer in London, and Adam has managed to find some work there too, so we’ll be moving away too.” Sarah announced.

I was gobsmacked.

“It’s a really good opportunity.” Sarah added.

“Of course it is.” I forced a smile, giving Sarah a hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

And I was. She was top of her class at Harvard, and it wasn’t surprising that her talent was taking her to more exciting destinations than ol’ little Roswell.

Later that night, Max could tell that I was still reeling from Sarah’s announcement.

“You know, now that Matthew and Sarah are both going to be away this year, there’s no reason for us to hang around either. It’s the first time in 25 years that we don’t have anything keeping us here.” Max pointed out.

“What are you suggesting?” I asked.

“That we take a gap year ourselves. We could travel around Asia, South America, or Australia. We could catch up with Matthew in Europe, and show him some of our favourite places. We could stay with Sarah and Adam in London. I can take photos, you can write, it will be just like old times.”

“You are brilliant Max Evans, have I ever told you that?” I gushed, wrapping my arms around him.

“Every day, but I like hearing it.” Max smiled. “So, where do you want to go first?”

“How about Fiji? Where we got married all those years ago.” I suggested.

“Perfect.” Max agreed.

“Life is, isn’t it.” I agreed.

“It always will be with you by my side Liz Evans.” Max kissed me.

“You too Max Evans, you too.”



The End