Posted: Wed Jan 14, 2004 8:08 am
Chapter 41
Roswell, New Mexico.
Max woke up early. The New Mexico sun had risen, the desert sky bluer than he’d ever seen before. It clashed macabrely with the desperation of the sleeping woman beside him. Max leaned over her, checking for signs of disturbance. He was more than a little worried at the prospect of staying in this house, where he was so well known, so noticeable. If the Feds had leaked his name to the media, then he was as good as marked. They’d have to wait inside all day.
He sighed quietly. There was a time, not too long ago, when the thought of staying locked up in a room with Liz Parker set his heart racing. Unfortunately, it still did. But there was precious little he could do about it.
Liz was not herself anymore. Not the same woman she’d revealed herself to be. She’d changed overnight. Instead of meeting the world with a determined, if resolutely nonchalant eyes, now she looked at everything with fear. Max could stand a lot of things but this one made him want to punish someone. No one, no THING has the right to do that to someone, dammit!! And what was worse was the fact that Liz’s fear came from what she’d find in the Granolith, her alien side. And that side of her had far more right to her than he’d ever have. It was her world. Who was he to try and force it to go away? Who was he to even try?
Max left the room, unable to keep still. There were so many answered questions and not a single answer. He found the alien handbook in her backpack. He stared at it for a while, and then reached up. Don’t touch that!! His mind screamed, but his hand remained steady. He tried to open it. It fell open as easily as a paper book. Max let loose a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
He looked over at the portraits. Jeez, what were they? Cloned? Made into robots? Genetic misfits? The scientific part of his brain took over. How is it even possible to do that? And then why send them HERE, on earth? Could this be the beginning of an alien invasion? As usual, there was no one to break the silence.
Liz woke up, feeling marginally better. She looked around. There was such a profound feeling inside her, a feeling of belonging, that it was her driving her crazy. Max’s room. Is that the reason I feel like I belong? Or is it because of Roswell?
The room itself was Spartan and self-sufficient. Obviously, he hadn’t been here after his college days, because posters and pictures were still up with a lot of books Liz hadn’t seen after high school. She got up and inspected the stuff. The room smelled of Max, too. His stuff was nowhere around, neatly stored away. No one had anticipated his return. Her heart tugged. Where was his family? They should’ve been here with him, keeping that loneliness she often saw in his eyes when they were unguarded for a second, at bay.
She remembered their first night together in New York. He’d talked about his life and it had been so bleak. Apart from Michael, she genuinely wondered if there was anyone who cared. It angered her that even in his own world, his own country, a place where he belonged, he had no one. The irony of their parallel situation didn’t escape her.
She went to the bathroom and stopped. Max was there busy shaving. Seeing her avert her eyes from his semi-clothed body, he grinned through the foam.
“Good morning.” He was determined to keep it light.
“Umm…yeah.” She said, distracted by the play of muscles all over him. This is insane!! I know his body better than anyone, or at least I think! Why the hell am I getting all worked up over it?
“Did you sleep well?” He teased.
She watched mesmerized as he washed the shaving foam off his face. She felt herself heating up. He looked so good, so intensely delicious that her heart ached from wanting him. There was no response from her. The air grew lethargic, hazy.
Max didn’t pause in his task. But she could feel his eyes on her. They were memorizing her. The way her hair fell down her back, the way her body rose and fell with each intake of air. Everything. And it was made a million times more potent because he’d deliberately left their connection open. She could feel what he was feeling, what he was thinking. Her body flushed. Languidly, steadily, he was reminding her the way it had been between them from day one. She could practically see herself in the throes of ecstasy, the way he would look at her then imprinted in her brain.
Fire trailed over Liz, leaving a slow burn. In the space of seconds, she’d forgotten about her troubles, her fears. How does he DO that?
Max finished washing his face. His taut, squared jaw gleamed in the overhead light, the water twinkling at her. She forced her eyes away. He didn’t wipe it away, the way he would’ve done. Even he’d forgotten. They were both lost in each other, uncaring that the world was going to hell around them.
“Liz?”
“Yeah?” She asked, her voice low and unsteady.
Hey now, all you sinners
Put your lights on, put your lights on
Hey now, all you lovers
Put your lights on, put your lights on
The world dimmed around her as he reached up to cup her face. Instead of caressing it, he turned it in his direction. She was forced to meet the blazing embers in his eyes.
“Are you still scared?”
She shook her head, the silken strands brushing past his fingers, creating unimaginable friction. He held back the trapped breath in his throat.
“No.”
Hey now, all you killers
Put your lights on, put your lights on
Hey now, all you children
Leave your lights on you better leave your lights on
“Good.” His voice had reached the same timbre as hers.
Because there's a monster living under my bed
Whispering in my ear
There's an angel with a hand on my head
She says I've got nothing to fear
She turned her face into his palm, kissing it gently. Max closed his eyes, savoring the feel. He forced himself to talk.
“Nothing’s going to happen to you. Know that.”
There's a darkness deep in my soul
I still got a purpose to serve
So let your light shine, into my home
God don't let me lose my nerve
Lose my nerve
Liz stared at him for long moments. As each heartbeat passed, her resolve strengthened. She prayed that she’d have the nerve for this.
“Max.”
He opened his eyes. The questions swam to the surface.
She stared at him for a second longer, all the terror on the surface. Max reacted typically, trying to bring her into his arms. She moved away. With an effort, she lightened her voice, wiped the unknown from her eyes.
“Remember that gift you gave me?”
He looked confused. “The sandalwood? What about it?”
She waved it aside airily. “That would be a requirement, but I was talking about your first one.”
He stepped back as she moved forward. Her air was predatory. Despite himself, he felt himself harden. This is no time to be thinking with the little head, pal!! His conscience nagged. His heart roared back SHUT UP!!
Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now
Woo-oh hey now, hey now,
Hey now, hey now
Hey now all you sinners
Put your lights on, put your lights on
Hey now, all you children
Leave your lights on you better leave your lights on
“The rose?” He hedged, trying to gauge what she was getting at. “Is that it?”
She nodded, trying to hide her laughter at his sweetness. He didn’t want to take advantage of her but obviously, it didn’t distract him from being susceptible to her.
“Yeah…. remember that challenge you threw out my way? Something about being not experienced enough?” She reached for his tattered T-shirt as she peered at him, eyebrows raised. Sections of her silken hair fell over her creamy shoulder. Heaven. Max stared, trying hard not to leap at her.
“I said ‘ripened’,” He got out, trying desperately not to pant, “There’s a difference.”
She smirked.
Because there's a monster living under my bed
Whispering in my ear
There's an angel with a hand on my head
She says I've got
Nothing to fear
Max grasped her hand as it started wandering. “Liz!” He hissed. "What are you doing?’
She took off his clothes along with hers. The she turned to him, eyes shining with an inner mischief. Her face was a study in innocence.
"I’m trying to learn” she replied, batting her eyelashes over big bambi eyes.
She says, whooo-ahha hey la la, you shine like stars
Whooo-ahha hey la la,
You shine like stars
And fade away
Max had taken as much as was able to. He caught her around the waist, kissing her until they were both robbed of air. Their bodies knew each other intimately; they wandered over familiar, much treasured territory. He felt her sharp intake of breath as he felt himself mark her skin. He smiled against, giving it a humble lick. She squirmed, trying to escape. But Max had a lot of other things in mind.
“Now, now, Lizzie." He caught her ear with his teeth. She jerked. He smirked against her head “I thought you wanted to learn?”
“Maaaax!!” she whined. “Do it properly or don’t, okay??”
He moved his mouth off her for a second but he was already feeling withdrawals. Sharp pain knifed through him for a second. But he made himself ignore it as he reached up for her. She moaned, trying to evade the sweet torment. I need to teach him a lesson about what I do to teases!!
He pulled back enough to look into her eyes. They were slumberous with passion, awakened with need. She tried to smile but even that didn’t form at the sight at his molten gold ones. They glinted jadedly of determination. Her breath got trapped in her lungs, never making it out as he leaned her forehead against her and breathed her in.
Liz shook with the emotions inside her. She wet her lips, opened her mouth to tell him everything that she’d been hiding in her heart. It was now or never.
He opened his eyes. For a second, he stared at her in wonder, scorching her soul. Then it lit anew as he whispered against her lips. “Now why don’t we put that bath gel and lotion to good use?”
Hours afterwards. Roswell, New Mexico,
Murray Lane 5:00 pm.
Max and Liz sat in his room, watching the sunset. The sky had turned such a deep red that it shocked them. Both wondered if the night’s anticipated activities were the cause.
Liz sighed and leaned back against his broad chest, shifting to get a little bit more comfortable. They’d stopped talking a while back; too disturbed to talk about anything else but unable to voice their thoughts on the current situation. The hours had ticked by. Max had watched her as she had watched the clock, counting off the minutes in their heads until it became primal scream inside.
Liz shifted again, unable to get through to him, to be with him. Then there was the obvious thumping in her heart as she tried to hold herself back from the edge. The alien pull had gotten progressively stronger as each hour had passed. By a slip of the tongue she’d mentioned that when he was there, he gave her a little respite from it. He hadn’t left her side since. Now they sat in his Lazy boy, with her on his lap, as he held her. Both were watching the sun go down and dying inside.
Max straightened her back for her, making her seat a little more comfortable. She was light as a feather but the tension in her bones had turned her into lead weight and his legs were feeling it. He pulled his knees up, cradling hers and they rested more comfortably against each other.
Putting his lips near her temple, he whispered. “Relax. You’re wound up so tight, you’re liable to cramp.”
“Easy for you to say! You’re not the one who’s to go through this……” she snapped at him and halted mid-rant. She turned in his arms slightly, eyes wide with mortification. “I’m sorry!!”
He stared at her for a second. He wanted to cover the hurt that her words had caused. But lately, it seemed like his heart was permanently out on his sleeve. With a glowing neon sign! He suppressed the hurt and looked down into her eyes.
“It’s okay, Liz. I understand.”
She turned away, but he felt her shake and expel air rather forcefully. Worried, he swung her face back up.
“Liz? What is it?”
“Nothing.” She struggled to get her breathing under control. “I just saw………..” She licked her parched lips. The words were so hard to get out. “I just saw how to get in.”
She felt him stiffen. His entire body seemed to have frozen. It suddenly occurred to her exactly how much he hadn’t wanted this moment to rear up. She mumbled.
“I’m sorry, Max. I’m so sorry.”
He disentangled his arms from around her and started massaging her shoulders. “Shh…if you keep apologizing this way, I’m going to get a complex.”
She was too weak to resist. As much as she told herself to remain strong, she couldn’t deny herself this last chance of ever knowing what it was to love someone. She relaxed against him, scrunching up her face from the late sunrays, grateful for an opportunity to wipe her eyes.
He brushed his cheek against her hair, the friction setting their pulse racing. She remembered the way he’d looked when he’d been shaving. She remembered other times, too. Max in that first night in Bangkok, looking like a God among lesser mortals. Max in the plane, waking up and looking good enough to eat; Max in all his glory, in the FBI vaults. Her personal favorite memory of him was the moment when they’d fallen asleep after one endless night of loving. Their first night. He’d looked so……satisfied, so happy. And she knew that she was the reason behind it.
She smiled and turned her face upwards. Max reacted without thinking. Leaning down, he captured the far side of her face, her skin an addiction. He closed the distance between them, keeping her tortured for a moment as he breathed her scent in. “Mmmm…I should’ve gotten you more of the sandalwood stuff.” He mumbled against her mouth.
She shivered at the recollection of the bath they’d shared earlier. She flushed once again and felt him smirk against her tongue.
“How do you DO that?” she mumbled, drawing away. But he was having none of it. He pulled her closer.
Liz was the first to break out of the kiss, before it got to a dangerous level.
“Max.” she warned, getting up to stretch her leg. He joined her, both feeling restless once again. Is this EVER going to end?
“How long?” Liz asked, needing to know how much time she had left.
“Not long. Another hour. After that, it will be dark enough.”
She nodded in agreement. “Right. So I was wondering…what are you going to do?” She looked out the window, not daring to meet his eyes.
He, too, looked away. “I uh… I don’t know. Maybe turn myself in.”
Liz whirled around. “Tonight??” she screeched.
He started at her tone. “Not really. I’d…never mind. Let’s just see how this goes.”
She jerked her head in agreement but she couldn’t make herself voice the ‘yes’.
Max tugged on her arm, drawing her away from the window. “It’s okay. Let’s just take this one at a time.”
She bit her lip. Max thought she was trying to say something that just wouldn’t make itself past her lips. She’d been like that the whole day, he recalled. He’d turn around occasionally and find her watching him with this weird look, a look he couldn’t define.
“Liz?” he asked cautiously. Her head snapped up and she looked at him wide-eyed. “Do you wanna say something?”
She opened her mouth to speak then snapped it shut. She shook her head. “No.”
“Liz?"
“I have nothing to say.” Liar!!! Her mind screamed.
“You sure?” He persisted.
“Yes! I mean…yes." She smiled shakily. “I’ve got nothing to say.” She looked him in the eye. Bad mistake. She glanced away. “I’ve got nothing to say."
“You said that already.”
She didn’t reply.
Max exhaled gustily. He moved away from her, giving her some space. He debated whether to ask her how she would open the place, but decided not to. It was best left unsaid. He didn’t need to know of some alien contraption that was going to possibly take her away from him.
Liz whirled around and smacked into him. True to form, his arms went around her. But this time, she broke away. “I have to say something to you.”
The moment has arrived, ladies and gentlemen. “What is it?”
Her mouth formed a few different words but no sound came. Then she swallowed. “Uh..I made this promise to myself, a few days earlier.”
Huh? “And?”
“I vowed to myself….that I wouldn’t leave this planet until and unless it was on my terms.”
“I see.” He actually didn’t. What does this have to do with anything?
“No, you don’t understand.”
Max hung his head in shame. I’m just too goddamned easy to read!!
Liz went on. “I may not be myself after tonight. What if I decide to leave then?”
Max finally got her point. “You’ll do the right thing. I’m sure the main function of whatever memories you have…” he paused seeing the anger coming back in her face, he made himself talk. “Their basic function is for your survival. No matter what, it’s what they’re supposed to do. If that means you have to leave, well, consider it something beyond your power.”
He hadn’t said anything that wasn’t reasonable but she felt herself itching to hurt him. He’d made her feel like a robot, an android. A machine that knew its functions and nothing else. Whether it was his intention or not, he was making her feel alien and she didn’t appreciate it. She wanted to scream at him, that she, too, had feelings and emotions and it hadn’t been her choice to be another specimen, for God’s sake!!
“Liz, calm down!”
She glared at him mutinously.
“I didn’t mean to imply that you’re a robot but let’s face it. Your body is not human. Maybe it has gifts. Gifts you should be grateful for. Your mind and soul…." He trailed off as her face softened. “They’re a different entity all together.”
“You have no idea how much I want that to be true. But as I was saying, I may not be myself then. I don’t want…I don’t want you to get hurt by it.”
She looked down, waiting for his very justified statement that he wouldn’t be hurt, but instead, he exhaled. “I can’t promise that. But I can try.”
I love you. “Thank you.” And you’ll never know.
It had grown dark outside. Liz turned to Max, terrified. Today, her entire past was going to be laid out. She was going to open Pandora’s box of secrets and all she could think of was how much she didn’t want this. And if she truly didn’t have a way to get past her alien side, she knew she was as good as lost.
Max looked away from her face. She was pleading him for something he couldn’t give her. Because this wasn’t just one-sided, he was hurting too. And all he could think about, as they left the house quietly, was that he hadn’t told her. I love you. Did I tell you that?
The neighbors seemed to have noticed nothing, as they left. The town was too quiet for both of them to rest any easier. Max had taken the car out early in the morning and parked it 5 blocks away. But Roswell was still too small. Anyone could recognize him and blow their plans to smithereens. Nothing happened. They got the car and left for the desert.
Liz stared at Max as they approached Highway 42, her face in the rushing shadows. Only her eyes gave off light. Max turned to look at her. She was visibly quaking. Even in the darkness, he could see her shoulders shake as she fought to keep herself in control. Erratic bursts of light lit her face momentarily as she tried to compose herself. But this was one time when Liz Parker’s infamous control was gone. She looked like a fallen angel. Max did the only thing he could.
He leaned over to capture one of her hands with his. She clenched it tightly enough to break his pinky but he smiled reassuringly at her. “You’re so brave, Liz. So brave.’
She tried to fashion her mouth into a smile but all that came out was a tremulous grimace.
“And what if courage is not enough anymore?”
Neither of them knew the answer. The gods were awaiting judgment on that one.
Lemme know people! Loved all the f/b. Ana, Frenchkiss, roswellluver, Con angel, extingman, Eve, mareli, Hybrid - you guys are the best!
Sarah
Roswell, New Mexico.
Max woke up early. The New Mexico sun had risen, the desert sky bluer than he’d ever seen before. It clashed macabrely with the desperation of the sleeping woman beside him. Max leaned over her, checking for signs of disturbance. He was more than a little worried at the prospect of staying in this house, where he was so well known, so noticeable. If the Feds had leaked his name to the media, then he was as good as marked. They’d have to wait inside all day.
He sighed quietly. There was a time, not too long ago, when the thought of staying locked up in a room with Liz Parker set his heart racing. Unfortunately, it still did. But there was precious little he could do about it.
Liz was not herself anymore. Not the same woman she’d revealed herself to be. She’d changed overnight. Instead of meeting the world with a determined, if resolutely nonchalant eyes, now she looked at everything with fear. Max could stand a lot of things but this one made him want to punish someone. No one, no THING has the right to do that to someone, dammit!! And what was worse was the fact that Liz’s fear came from what she’d find in the Granolith, her alien side. And that side of her had far more right to her than he’d ever have. It was her world. Who was he to try and force it to go away? Who was he to even try?
Max left the room, unable to keep still. There were so many answered questions and not a single answer. He found the alien handbook in her backpack. He stared at it for a while, and then reached up. Don’t touch that!! His mind screamed, but his hand remained steady. He tried to open it. It fell open as easily as a paper book. Max let loose a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
He looked over at the portraits. Jeez, what were they? Cloned? Made into robots? Genetic misfits? The scientific part of his brain took over. How is it even possible to do that? And then why send them HERE, on earth? Could this be the beginning of an alien invasion? As usual, there was no one to break the silence.
Liz woke up, feeling marginally better. She looked around. There was such a profound feeling inside her, a feeling of belonging, that it was her driving her crazy. Max’s room. Is that the reason I feel like I belong? Or is it because of Roswell?
The room itself was Spartan and self-sufficient. Obviously, he hadn’t been here after his college days, because posters and pictures were still up with a lot of books Liz hadn’t seen after high school. She got up and inspected the stuff. The room smelled of Max, too. His stuff was nowhere around, neatly stored away. No one had anticipated his return. Her heart tugged. Where was his family? They should’ve been here with him, keeping that loneliness she often saw in his eyes when they were unguarded for a second, at bay.
She remembered their first night together in New York. He’d talked about his life and it had been so bleak. Apart from Michael, she genuinely wondered if there was anyone who cared. It angered her that even in his own world, his own country, a place where he belonged, he had no one. The irony of their parallel situation didn’t escape her.
She went to the bathroom and stopped. Max was there busy shaving. Seeing her avert her eyes from his semi-clothed body, he grinned through the foam.
“Good morning.” He was determined to keep it light.
“Umm…yeah.” She said, distracted by the play of muscles all over him. This is insane!! I know his body better than anyone, or at least I think! Why the hell am I getting all worked up over it?
“Did you sleep well?” He teased.
She watched mesmerized as he washed the shaving foam off his face. She felt herself heating up. He looked so good, so intensely delicious that her heart ached from wanting him. There was no response from her. The air grew lethargic, hazy.
Max didn’t pause in his task. But she could feel his eyes on her. They were memorizing her. The way her hair fell down her back, the way her body rose and fell with each intake of air. Everything. And it was made a million times more potent because he’d deliberately left their connection open. She could feel what he was feeling, what he was thinking. Her body flushed. Languidly, steadily, he was reminding her the way it had been between them from day one. She could practically see herself in the throes of ecstasy, the way he would look at her then imprinted in her brain.
Fire trailed over Liz, leaving a slow burn. In the space of seconds, she’d forgotten about her troubles, her fears. How does he DO that?
Max finished washing his face. His taut, squared jaw gleamed in the overhead light, the water twinkling at her. She forced her eyes away. He didn’t wipe it away, the way he would’ve done. Even he’d forgotten. They were both lost in each other, uncaring that the world was going to hell around them.
“Liz?”
“Yeah?” She asked, her voice low and unsteady.
Hey now, all you sinners
Put your lights on, put your lights on
Hey now, all you lovers
Put your lights on, put your lights on
The world dimmed around her as he reached up to cup her face. Instead of caressing it, he turned it in his direction. She was forced to meet the blazing embers in his eyes.
“Are you still scared?”
She shook her head, the silken strands brushing past his fingers, creating unimaginable friction. He held back the trapped breath in his throat.
“No.”
Hey now, all you killers
Put your lights on, put your lights on
Hey now, all you children
Leave your lights on you better leave your lights on
“Good.” His voice had reached the same timbre as hers.
Because there's a monster living under my bed
Whispering in my ear
There's an angel with a hand on my head
She says I've got nothing to fear
She turned her face into his palm, kissing it gently. Max closed his eyes, savoring the feel. He forced himself to talk.
“Nothing’s going to happen to you. Know that.”
There's a darkness deep in my soul
I still got a purpose to serve
So let your light shine, into my home
God don't let me lose my nerve
Lose my nerve
Liz stared at him for long moments. As each heartbeat passed, her resolve strengthened. She prayed that she’d have the nerve for this.
“Max.”
He opened his eyes. The questions swam to the surface.
She stared at him for a second longer, all the terror on the surface. Max reacted typically, trying to bring her into his arms. She moved away. With an effort, she lightened her voice, wiped the unknown from her eyes.
“Remember that gift you gave me?”
He looked confused. “The sandalwood? What about it?”
She waved it aside airily. “That would be a requirement, but I was talking about your first one.”
He stepped back as she moved forward. Her air was predatory. Despite himself, he felt himself harden. This is no time to be thinking with the little head, pal!! His conscience nagged. His heart roared back SHUT UP!!
Hey now, hey now, hey now, hey now
Woo-oh hey now, hey now,
Hey now, hey now
Hey now all you sinners
Put your lights on, put your lights on
Hey now, all you children
Leave your lights on you better leave your lights on
“The rose?” He hedged, trying to gauge what she was getting at. “Is that it?”
She nodded, trying to hide her laughter at his sweetness. He didn’t want to take advantage of her but obviously, it didn’t distract him from being susceptible to her.
“Yeah…. remember that challenge you threw out my way? Something about being not experienced enough?” She reached for his tattered T-shirt as she peered at him, eyebrows raised. Sections of her silken hair fell over her creamy shoulder. Heaven. Max stared, trying hard not to leap at her.
“I said ‘ripened’,” He got out, trying desperately not to pant, “There’s a difference.”
She smirked.
Because there's a monster living under my bed
Whispering in my ear
There's an angel with a hand on my head
She says I've got
Nothing to fear
Max grasped her hand as it started wandering. “Liz!” He hissed. "What are you doing?’
She took off his clothes along with hers. The she turned to him, eyes shining with an inner mischief. Her face was a study in innocence.
"I’m trying to learn” she replied, batting her eyelashes over big bambi eyes.
She says, whooo-ahha hey la la, you shine like stars
Whooo-ahha hey la la,
You shine like stars
And fade away
Max had taken as much as was able to. He caught her around the waist, kissing her until they were both robbed of air. Their bodies knew each other intimately; they wandered over familiar, much treasured territory. He felt her sharp intake of breath as he felt himself mark her skin. He smiled against, giving it a humble lick. She squirmed, trying to escape. But Max had a lot of other things in mind.
“Now, now, Lizzie." He caught her ear with his teeth. She jerked. He smirked against her head “I thought you wanted to learn?”
“Maaaax!!” she whined. “Do it properly or don’t, okay??”
He moved his mouth off her for a second but he was already feeling withdrawals. Sharp pain knifed through him for a second. But he made himself ignore it as he reached up for her. She moaned, trying to evade the sweet torment. I need to teach him a lesson about what I do to teases!!
He pulled back enough to look into her eyes. They were slumberous with passion, awakened with need. She tried to smile but even that didn’t form at the sight at his molten gold ones. They glinted jadedly of determination. Her breath got trapped in her lungs, never making it out as he leaned her forehead against her and breathed her in.
Liz shook with the emotions inside her. She wet her lips, opened her mouth to tell him everything that she’d been hiding in her heart. It was now or never.
He opened his eyes. For a second, he stared at her in wonder, scorching her soul. Then it lit anew as he whispered against her lips. “Now why don’t we put that bath gel and lotion to good use?”
Hours afterwards. Roswell, New Mexico,
Murray Lane 5:00 pm.
Max and Liz sat in his room, watching the sunset. The sky had turned such a deep red that it shocked them. Both wondered if the night’s anticipated activities were the cause.
Liz sighed and leaned back against his broad chest, shifting to get a little bit more comfortable. They’d stopped talking a while back; too disturbed to talk about anything else but unable to voice their thoughts on the current situation. The hours had ticked by. Max had watched her as she had watched the clock, counting off the minutes in their heads until it became primal scream inside.
Liz shifted again, unable to get through to him, to be with him. Then there was the obvious thumping in her heart as she tried to hold herself back from the edge. The alien pull had gotten progressively stronger as each hour had passed. By a slip of the tongue she’d mentioned that when he was there, he gave her a little respite from it. He hadn’t left her side since. Now they sat in his Lazy boy, with her on his lap, as he held her. Both were watching the sun go down and dying inside.
Max straightened her back for her, making her seat a little more comfortable. She was light as a feather but the tension in her bones had turned her into lead weight and his legs were feeling it. He pulled his knees up, cradling hers and they rested more comfortably against each other.
Putting his lips near her temple, he whispered. “Relax. You’re wound up so tight, you’re liable to cramp.”
“Easy for you to say! You’re not the one who’s to go through this……” she snapped at him and halted mid-rant. She turned in his arms slightly, eyes wide with mortification. “I’m sorry!!”
He stared at her for a second. He wanted to cover the hurt that her words had caused. But lately, it seemed like his heart was permanently out on his sleeve. With a glowing neon sign! He suppressed the hurt and looked down into her eyes.
“It’s okay, Liz. I understand.”
She turned away, but he felt her shake and expel air rather forcefully. Worried, he swung her face back up.
“Liz? What is it?”
“Nothing.” She struggled to get her breathing under control. “I just saw………..” She licked her parched lips. The words were so hard to get out. “I just saw how to get in.”
She felt him stiffen. His entire body seemed to have frozen. It suddenly occurred to her exactly how much he hadn’t wanted this moment to rear up. She mumbled.
“I’m sorry, Max. I’m so sorry.”
He disentangled his arms from around her and started massaging her shoulders. “Shh…if you keep apologizing this way, I’m going to get a complex.”
She was too weak to resist. As much as she told herself to remain strong, she couldn’t deny herself this last chance of ever knowing what it was to love someone. She relaxed against him, scrunching up her face from the late sunrays, grateful for an opportunity to wipe her eyes.
He brushed his cheek against her hair, the friction setting their pulse racing. She remembered the way he’d looked when he’d been shaving. She remembered other times, too. Max in that first night in Bangkok, looking like a God among lesser mortals. Max in the plane, waking up and looking good enough to eat; Max in all his glory, in the FBI vaults. Her personal favorite memory of him was the moment when they’d fallen asleep after one endless night of loving. Their first night. He’d looked so……satisfied, so happy. And she knew that she was the reason behind it.
She smiled and turned her face upwards. Max reacted without thinking. Leaning down, he captured the far side of her face, her skin an addiction. He closed the distance between them, keeping her tortured for a moment as he breathed her scent in. “Mmmm…I should’ve gotten you more of the sandalwood stuff.” He mumbled against her mouth.
She shivered at the recollection of the bath they’d shared earlier. She flushed once again and felt him smirk against her tongue.
“How do you DO that?” she mumbled, drawing away. But he was having none of it. He pulled her closer.
Liz was the first to break out of the kiss, before it got to a dangerous level.
“Max.” she warned, getting up to stretch her leg. He joined her, both feeling restless once again. Is this EVER going to end?
“How long?” Liz asked, needing to know how much time she had left.
“Not long. Another hour. After that, it will be dark enough.”
She nodded in agreement. “Right. So I was wondering…what are you going to do?” She looked out the window, not daring to meet his eyes.
He, too, looked away. “I uh… I don’t know. Maybe turn myself in.”
Liz whirled around. “Tonight??” she screeched.
He started at her tone. “Not really. I’d…never mind. Let’s just see how this goes.”
She jerked her head in agreement but she couldn’t make herself voice the ‘yes’.
Max tugged on her arm, drawing her away from the window. “It’s okay. Let’s just take this one at a time.”
She bit her lip. Max thought she was trying to say something that just wouldn’t make itself past her lips. She’d been like that the whole day, he recalled. He’d turn around occasionally and find her watching him with this weird look, a look he couldn’t define.
“Liz?” he asked cautiously. Her head snapped up and she looked at him wide-eyed. “Do you wanna say something?”
She opened her mouth to speak then snapped it shut. She shook her head. “No.”
“Liz?"
“I have nothing to say.” Liar!!! Her mind screamed.
“You sure?” He persisted.
“Yes! I mean…yes." She smiled shakily. “I’ve got nothing to say.” She looked him in the eye. Bad mistake. She glanced away. “I’ve got nothing to say."
“You said that already.”
She didn’t reply.
Max exhaled gustily. He moved away from her, giving her some space. He debated whether to ask her how she would open the place, but decided not to. It was best left unsaid. He didn’t need to know of some alien contraption that was going to possibly take her away from him.
Liz whirled around and smacked into him. True to form, his arms went around her. But this time, she broke away. “I have to say something to you.”
The moment has arrived, ladies and gentlemen. “What is it?”
Her mouth formed a few different words but no sound came. Then she swallowed. “Uh..I made this promise to myself, a few days earlier.”
Huh? “And?”
“I vowed to myself….that I wouldn’t leave this planet until and unless it was on my terms.”
“I see.” He actually didn’t. What does this have to do with anything?
“No, you don’t understand.”
Max hung his head in shame. I’m just too goddamned easy to read!!
Liz went on. “I may not be myself after tonight. What if I decide to leave then?”
Max finally got her point. “You’ll do the right thing. I’m sure the main function of whatever memories you have…” he paused seeing the anger coming back in her face, he made himself talk. “Their basic function is for your survival. No matter what, it’s what they’re supposed to do. If that means you have to leave, well, consider it something beyond your power.”
He hadn’t said anything that wasn’t reasonable but she felt herself itching to hurt him. He’d made her feel like a robot, an android. A machine that knew its functions and nothing else. Whether it was his intention or not, he was making her feel alien and she didn’t appreciate it. She wanted to scream at him, that she, too, had feelings and emotions and it hadn’t been her choice to be another specimen, for God’s sake!!
“Liz, calm down!”
She glared at him mutinously.
“I didn’t mean to imply that you’re a robot but let’s face it. Your body is not human. Maybe it has gifts. Gifts you should be grateful for. Your mind and soul…." He trailed off as her face softened. “They’re a different entity all together.”
“You have no idea how much I want that to be true. But as I was saying, I may not be myself then. I don’t want…I don’t want you to get hurt by it.”
She looked down, waiting for his very justified statement that he wouldn’t be hurt, but instead, he exhaled. “I can’t promise that. But I can try.”
I love you. “Thank you.” And you’ll never know.
It had grown dark outside. Liz turned to Max, terrified. Today, her entire past was going to be laid out. She was going to open Pandora’s box of secrets and all she could think of was how much she didn’t want this. And if she truly didn’t have a way to get past her alien side, she knew she was as good as lost.
Max looked away from her face. She was pleading him for something he couldn’t give her. Because this wasn’t just one-sided, he was hurting too. And all he could think about, as they left the house quietly, was that he hadn’t told her. I love you. Did I tell you that?
The neighbors seemed to have noticed nothing, as they left. The town was too quiet for both of them to rest any easier. Max had taken the car out early in the morning and parked it 5 blocks away. But Roswell was still too small. Anyone could recognize him and blow their plans to smithereens. Nothing happened. They got the car and left for the desert.
Liz stared at Max as they approached Highway 42, her face in the rushing shadows. Only her eyes gave off light. Max turned to look at her. She was visibly quaking. Even in the darkness, he could see her shoulders shake as she fought to keep herself in control. Erratic bursts of light lit her face momentarily as she tried to compose herself. But this was one time when Liz Parker’s infamous control was gone. She looked like a fallen angel. Max did the only thing he could.
He leaned over to capture one of her hands with his. She clenched it tightly enough to break his pinky but he smiled reassuringly at her. “You’re so brave, Liz. So brave.’
She tried to fashion her mouth into a smile but all that came out was a tremulous grimace.
“And what if courage is not enough anymore?”
Neither of them knew the answer. The gods were awaiting judgment on that one.
Lemme know people! Loved all the f/b. Ana, Frenchkiss, roswellluver, Con angel, extingman, Eve, mareli, Hybrid - you guys are the best!
Sarah