Although not all the fic is ADULT, I should note that this first part, definitely is! I will post a warning if it goes above TEEN.
Anyway, Enjoy!
Thanks to all of my readers!
Best Author of a Challenge Response Fan Fiction
Title: Secrets in the Dark
Author: Starlady
Category: M/L AU/FF
Rating: ADULT
Disclaimer: Roswell and all the character portrayed in the series are not my creation. God knows who they belong to but I know there not mine. This story is based on the book The Real Father by Kathleen O'Brien but I imagine somewhat different since I have never read the book.
Summary: This story arose from a challenge. Liz, Max & Maria were best friends since very young. Liz dated Max’s twin brother for three years before a tragedy and life circumstances makes her leave Roswell, taking with her a secret. Ten years later, Liz Parker returns to confront her past and discovers that Max has also carried a secret with him. Read on to learn more...
~ Chapter 1 ~
There he lied with his chest exposed to her…. She stumbled through the window and shaked her head to remove some of the fuzziness the alcohol had put there.
The room was very dark but she could see him on his bed. He looked like a god. He had gone to bed w/o a t-shirt and so he lied there barely covered by the soft sheet that exposed the top of his boxers. Liz smiled to herself, “He was a boxer guy after all.” She could hear the soft sounds of his breathing and she couldn’t wait any longer. This was it. This was the night. No more hesitation. In the back of her mind she could hear herself recite all the reason why she should leave right now, all the reasons that she had given through out their three year relationship why they should wait. None of that seemed to matter at this moment. She felt the pull to get closer. The thoughts that had awaken her to this moment kept playing in her mind. “I need him, He is what I really want, I need to prove this to him” It was like a mantra. She kept repeating over an over. She stumbled closer to the bed and started shedding the little clothing she had on. She could do this, She needed him. He is all that she really wanted, She needs to prove this to him.
She kneeled at the end of the bed and started crawling up his body. She moved slowly and reveled in the sight before her. His tan skin looked so soft and yet it was so muscular. His scent was a little different than what she expected, he smelled sweeter. A musky scent mixed with a sweet something. She felt his thighs rub against hers when she moved to straddle him, throwing one of her legs over his while her arms, which were placed on either side of his rib cage supported her movement. She couldn’t take it anymore, she had to taste him. She lowered her lips to his chest. Just a few centimeters from where his heart beat. She inhaled again and was hit again with the peculiar scent he had. Brushing her lips against his chest she finally touched him. She smiled when she heard a soft moan escape his lips. She could do this! She needed him! She trailed hot kissed over his chest and up his neck. She could feel him awakening when her thigh rubbed against him. Her breasts rubbed against his chest and she heard him sigh her name. He wanted this, he had been waiting for this moment for a very long time. No more waiting, she thought. She could do this, She needed him. He was all that she really wanted, She needed to prove this to him.
Her senses was all that were guiding her and those where fuzzy to say the least. She lifted her leg and moved it over his hip to fully straddle him. She gasped as she felt his hands moved over her thigh and caress her, lifting his hips to rub against her heat. She could feel his arousal under his boxers. The thin cotton the only barrier between them. She leaned against his chest again letting her hair cascade over her features. She kissed his neck and moved over his jaw to latch onto his lips, as she reached between them to liberate him from the confines of his shorts. She pushed them as low as possible before completing the task with her foot. She heard him stir to life when she removed her mouth from his lips.
“Liz?” he questioned. He had thought he was dreaming. Another of the many he had had over his lifetime.
“Is this a dream?” He whispered against her lips. His eyes fluttering open.
“Only if you want it to be” she breathed back before she pressed her lips against his more forcefully.
Max closed his eyes again not wanting this to be a dream but not willing to risk waking up just yet. He moved his hand from where they rested on her thighs and caressed her hips on his way up to her back holding her in place against his chest. He could feel her heat rubbing against his arousal and he could barely respond to her kisses due to the sensory overload he was experiencing. His mind seemed to have awakened because he kept hearing this voice in the back of his head that told him that this was wrong. This was not supposed to happen. It kept repeating itself until he felt her hand touch him in the most intimate way. Guiding him, urging him and then he heard her voice whisper in his ear, her breath caressing his skin.
“Please, take me, Let me show you how much I want you. How much I’ve always wanted you”
There were no more voices to be heard. He grabbed her hips and thrusted into her. Her world stood still. His world kept spinning.
She had not expected the brutal entrance, she had not expected the harshness of the movement, and she had not expected the regret that covered her heart. Her mantra continued as she felt him thrust into her again. Her eyes closed trying to hold in the tears that threatened to escape. She could do this. He was all she wanted. She needed to prove it to him.
“Oh, God… Liz!” Max gasped.
She felt herself being lifted and a second later she was on her back. His face hovering over hers. His features looked darker than usual. The light that swept across the room was barely enough to distinguish him. He was so handsome. She brushed his hair off his forehead to look at his eyes. He still had them closed as if afraid to open them.
There it was again, a feeling this time. Something different. What was it? Something in the way he stilled himself over her. As if he was sending a silent prayer to heaven. Was he just as afraid as she was? God, she loved him. Tonight she was proving it to him.
Max finally opened his eyes and what he saw laying before him took his breath away. There she was, her silken strands fanning across the bed. Her eyes filled w/ love. This had to be a dream he thought. He felt himself surrounded by her and he moved again felling her walls squeeze him. That’s when he heard it… A small gasp, a small groan. Was it pain or pleasure?
She was his first. She was the only one he had ever wanted, the only one that he had ever dreamed of having. His knees, which supported him, felt weak w/ pleasure as he debated with himself. His insecurities started overshadowing his pleasure and he paused once again. He had to gain some semblance of control. He needed to make sure that this was right. The voices started up again. He argued with them while he looked into her beautiful face. She wanted HIM. She came to HIM.
“Liz…” he began to say, starting to pull back.
“Shh…” she whispered, seeming to know what he was thinking, and she moved her hips up to take him in deeper.
Max clenched his teeth when he felt her move and with that, all his insecurities flew out the window. He lowered his mouth to her neck and placed hot open mouth kisses that outlined her collar. Lowering his mouth to the valley between her breast, he caressed the small mound with his hand. It felt so soft and full, like rose petals. He had to taste them, so he lowered his mouth to cover the perk bud that had formed over the creamy flesh. He suckled the sweet flesh as if it was a dying man’s last meal. He heard her moan and that, for sure, was a sound of pleasure. He wrapped his arm around her, lowering his hand to cup her buttocks and press her closer to him. He felt her legs wrap around his waist and he slipped deeper into her. His mouth stopped working and he stilled his movement.
“God, what is happening? What are you doing to me?” He thought
Her breathing was labored now. He knew he was doing something right.
He felt her hands entangle in his hair pressing her breast deeper into his mouth.
This stopped being a dream a while ago. Now, he knew he had died in his sleep and he was in heaven.
She had felt him stop his movement but she needed more. She needed him. When had her mantra become real. She did need him. It was a primal urge, a heat that started low and kept burning her insides. She felt another moan escape her lips and felt her insides turn. What was this? This was not the first time she had felt his mouth on her but it was different. He was so different, almost as if he revered her. She could feel the way his tongue moved over her nipple and how he gently nipped at it. He moved from one breast to the other giving it the same reverence.
They had talked about this over and over. He had wanted this and she just couldn’t go there. She questioned, why? Why had she waited? Every caress he placed on her body spoke volumes of the love he had for her. She felt it in the slow steady thrusts he took into her. As if he didn’t want this to end. Ever.
The blanket of regret that covered her heart a little while ago was lifting. He was washing away her fear, her doubts, her regrets with each caress, with every kiss.
She felt his hand open around her hip. His chest pressing her against the bed She felt his hands outline her body from her hips moving slowly up her ribcage, brushing the sides of her breast, raising her arms over her head and finally grabbing her own hands within his. His mouth searing her skin with every kiss he placed on her, working its way up her chest to the hollow of her neck.
“You’re so beautiful” she heard him sigh into her neck.
He put more of his weight on her and with the slight move in position he seemed to hit her in a spot that sent her nerves flying. Her mouth flew open in a silent scream of ecstasy. She turned her head to lean against his.
“Please… “ was all she could say.
Max lowered one of his hands and moved it to the back of her thigh, lifting her leg just enough to give him the movement he needed to finish this. He moved his hand over her hips and between them, lowering it to the bundle of nerves he knew existed between her folds. He felt his fingers in tangle between her wet curls and he touched himself as he slid in and out of her. Her juices covering his fingers, he swept them across her nub and, this time the scream was not as silent. His thrust took on speed as his fingers caressed her folds and all the secrets it held. His mouth covered hers in a searing kiss that told her that this was it for him. After this moment he would never be able to take another. He was hers forever. He felt as if he was losing himself. He could feel himself falling…
He felt her grab his shoulders and her nails dug into his flesh at the moment her body became tense and it shivered underneath him. Then he felt it. Warmth surrounding him and her walls squeezing him in a vice grip. He opened his mouth not knowing what was happening, the pleasure was almost painful. He couldn’t breath. A loud hiss was all that erupted from his throat as he went over the edge after her.
Her body tingled all over. She felt the warmth of his body surround her. He was still in her, pulsating. She could barely breath with the sensations that he had awoken within her. The drops of sweat fell on her body and she looked into his face. His eyes were shut and his mouth partly open as if he was going to speak but his words had fallen short. He lowered his head to rest on her shoulder and she finally heard him breath. She wrapped her arms around him pressing her body even closer to his. She kissed the top of his head and then she felt him return her kiss on her neck.
“Liz… I love you” she heard him say. “There will never be another for me, I have loved you since I can remember, it has only been you. I will love you with my last breath”
She felt the tears roll down the side of her face. In all the years they had been together he had never said those words. Three years. Three years she had waited. Three years doubting him and herself. Why had she doubted him? Why had she doubted her own feelings? Tonight all she had felt was love, all the love he had for her and all the love she had for him.
Liz closed her eyes and sleep threatened to take her away. She needed to tell him how much he meant to her, tell him all that she needed him to hear but she was so tired. The alcohol she had consumed earlier to get her here was taking its toll. Before she surrendered to the sandman she whispered her response to him…
“ I love you too, Zan”
~ Chapter 2 ~
Max stood in front of the sink of the bathroom staring at the image that looked back at him from the mirror. It was Zan. He gripped the sink so tight his knuckles had turned white. His anger flushed his face, his jaw clenched so hard he could have probably broken a tooth.
‘You got what you wanted, Evans’ he thought, ‘You became your brother.’
His eyes closed tight at the thought. He lowered his head and tried to gain some control over the feelings that coursed through his body. He would scream if his Parents were not upstairs in their bedroom sleeping.
Two years. Two years he had worked at becoming his brother. He wore the same hairstyle as Zan. When Zan decided to grow out a goatee, Max had also grown one out. Zan was into sports and it kept his body trim and muscular, Max worked hard to keep his body in the same condition. Even when Zan dyed his hair last year, Max was just a few weeks behind him doing the same thing. Thank god that phase had past because Max hated the blue streaks he had put on his hair.
Max wanted to be Zan and he finally had achieved it. Except now he wished he hadn’t.
Zan knew what Max was doing and although he had hated it at first he paid no mind to him anymore. Zan loved Max and he knew he would get past it eventually.
God, if he only knew what it would take to slap Max out of his ‘phase’.
Max opened his eyes and looked at his reflections again. He couldn’t take it any longer.
“ I love you too, Zan”
He opened the medicine cabinet grabbing the scissors and the razor. He grabbed the hair on his face and started cutting it off.
“Please, take me, Let me show you how much I want you. How much I’ve always wanted you”
Quickly he spread the shaving cream over his face and shaved his face clear of all that was Zan.
“Please… “
He grabbed the ends of his tresses and started chopping off his hair. He had let it grow longer than usual because it was Zan’s new look. He couldn’t stand the hair on his face any longer. The way it curled a bit at the base of his neck. He chopped here and there until he was satisfied that there was no way in hell anyone would ever look at him and see his brother.
“ I love you too, Zan”
‘ARGG! Stop it! Stop it!’ he yelled at himself throwing the scissor to the floor. He opened the curtain to the shower and turned on the hot water. Stepping in, he let the water pound his chest before putting his hands against the wall to support him. He lowered his head between his arms and stood there, letting the water scold his back. He stood there going over the events in his head. He felt the tears burn his eyes as he pounded the wall.
‘You are such an idiot! What were you thinking, Evans? Did you think she wanted you? God Damn Fool! All those years as your friend and as your brother’s girlfriend, You think last night she had an epiphany and said to herself, “Oh yeah, I really have wanted Max all my life and not his gorgeous, popular and witty brother”, Fucking asshole!’
Max stepped back from the wall. He leaned his back against the opposite wall and slid to the ground. Hugging his knees to his chest he laid his face on his arm.
“What the hell where you doing in his room to start off with?” he asked expecting no response.
“Where are you headed, Zan?” Max asked his brother who was decked out more than what he needed to be if he was headed to bed, as he should on a Thursday night.
“What is it to you?” was his reply.
“Sheesh, can I have my head back?”
“What do you want, Max?” Zan asked
“I just want to know where you’re going so that when Mom & Dad wake up in the middle of the night and don’t find you in bed where your suppose to be, I will know where they can find you so they can kick your ass” Max responded while he sat on the edge of Zan’s bed still drying off the remnants of his shower from his hair.
“I’m headed to the old Soap Factory, there’s an underground party there and I’m going to meet some of the better specimens of the female persuasion” Zan said with a half coked smile.
“So, I take it that you’re not taking Liz?” Max said as he stared at his brother.
Zan laughed, “ You got that right! I’m getting some tonight and that statement is equivalent to the fact that my girlfriend is no where to be found!”
Max’s eyes narrowed in anger, “ How can you do that to her?”
Zan looked at Max and shook his head, ”Oh, baby brother, the things you need to learn!”
“What? To be unfaithful? To play with people’s feelings? To manipulate them? Liz loves you and you shit all over it… you could care less about her. Why do you even keep her around?”
“Don’t play the wounded friend card on me Max! I know why you’re asking and it has nothing to do with the fact that you are one of her best friends and has every thing to do with the fact that you would give an arm and a leg to be the object of her affections. Give it a rest Max, it ain’t gonna happen. No matter how much you try to look at like me, she will never look at you like she looks at me!”
Max’s mouth moved but no sound came out. What could he say in response. He had just been slapped in the face with the truth.
Zan sat next to his brother and sighed, “ I’m sorry, Max. I do care for Liz. When I started to date her I thought she was the one. I don’t need to tell you how perfect she is. But I’m not. I’m not perfect, Max. Time passes and things change. People change. I’ve changed. She is this sweet, beautiful, smart girl that will accomplish anything she sets her mind to. Me? I’m this typical jock, three months away from graduating high school with no idea what to do with my life. Hell, if I hadn’t gotten an athletics scholarship I would probably not even be heading to college. Max, I’m not you. You know what you want to do with your life, you put effort in keeping your grades up so you could achieve that. I’m still looking.”
Max stared at his brother. Why was he telling him this?
“Zan…” Max started to say
“ … and part of the process of looking, is to look for the best way to get my next lay. So, I’m out of here!” Zan said as he got off the bed, grabbing his jacket and rushing out the door.
Max let out a breath and just threw himself back onto his brother’s bed. He will never understand Zan. He was popular, athletic, smart and most of all Zan had the love of the woman Max adored. Max brought his arm to rest on his forehead while he stared at the ceiling.
Liz, He had been friends with Liz all his life, or so it felt like it. They had know each other forever. While in middle school he discovered that his classmate was a whiz at science and English. Teamed up as partners in Science, they had developed a friendship that deepened every year. He could barely remember a time that Liz wasn’t there with him. Maria and Alex completed the quartet.
Max had noticed his friends moving around in the social groups when HS started.
Alex, who was a year older than the rest of them, had dated a girl named LeAnn for his sophomore year before developing a crush on Max’s sister Isabel. Isabel was two years older than Max and would not even acknowledge Alex. So, Alex pined away for her until he left for college last year. They still kept in touch but Isabel was a voodoo subject.
Maria was the pixie of the group. Jumpy, energetic and with no hair on her tongue. She would smack you over the head with the truth whether you liked it or not. She had dated her share of guys but was still looking for Mr. Right. “Max,” she had told him one day, “While waiting for Mr. Right, I am more than happy to get to know the finer points of Mr. Right Now!” .
Liz on the other hand was not one to jump around. Her sophomore year she went out to a party at Vicky Delaney’s house, and got to see Zan in a whole different light. Max remembers that she had begged him to go with her. Maria was with her latest fling of the week and Alex was DJ’ing the event. Max was sick that weekend with the worst Flu of his life and just could not drag himself out the door. A few weeks later Zan and Liz were an official couple. Max threw up more the day that he found out than the weekend he had his flu.
Max felt the bed move under him from the weight of another person on it.
Isabel sighed and lied next to her brother.
“Max, he’s right you know. He isn’t you. You can’t live your life pretending to be him and you can’t expect him to live his life based on your expectations of him as Liz’s boyfriend. Liz isn’t blind. She has to know what’s happening. She’s probably going to have to make some difficult choices in the next few months. She’ll be going off to college, as will all of you. College is not a cakewalk, Max. Dealing w/ classes and a straying boyfriend is not a good way to start out. Liz is smart and dedicated. She’s going to make the right choice. Be there for her and don’t condemn your brother for being clueless.”
“It’s hard, Isabel. I see how he treats her and it just pisses me off that he takes her for granted.”
“I know” Isabel responded before she took his hand in hers and gave it a small squeeze.
Max turned his head to face her, his arm still on his forehead, and smiled.
“Thanks”
“Don’t mention it. I’m heading out to my apartment. Why don’t you drive up on Saturday? We can do something”
“Sure, Iz”
Isabel gave his hand another squeeze and kissed him on the check before she got up and left Max to his own thoughts.
Max got up off the floor of the shower when he felt the cold pelts of water hitting him. He had to get out of here. He couldn’t stay here and see her when realization set in. She would never look at him the same way again.
Climbing out of the shower he wrapped himself in a towel and headed to his own bedroom. Throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt he moved to Zan’s room.
He stood there in the doorway watching her sleep. She lay on her stomach with her back exposed to him. The soft skin screamed to be caressed. Max pushed his head back and leaned against the doorway. He could still smell her scent. He closed his eyes to inhale it and all he could see was her body laying beneath him, her eyes full of love, taking his face in her hands and pulling him to her for a kiss that now burned his soul.
“ I love you too, Zan”
His eyes popped open and he push himself off the door. He had to get out of here!
He grabbed the door handle and closed the door to Zan’s room. He rushed out of the house in a sprint that threatened to leave all those ghosts behind him, but this was a night that would always haunt him.
TBC...