A/N: thanks guys for all your feedbacks. I really wasn't sure about starting this fic again, but now I'm convinced it was the good decision. For the readers who have already read the first 8 parts before, I still advice to read those part since it has been revised and I've made some significant changes. You might be lost when you'll start the new chapters if you don't... thanks anyway for all the feedback, I really appreciate them all.
Part 2
“YOU’RE LYING! I KNOW YOU ARE!! SHE CAN’T BE DEAD!”
Max tried to lift himself from the bed where he had been lying, but his mom held him back, pushing on his shoulders so he would lie back onto the pillow. He was still weak and didn’t resist, but tears of anger were still running on his lips as he kept whispering.
“That can’t be true… she can’t be dead.” Diane was crying as she held her son in her arms, trying to comfort him as well as she could. But as he kept crying, she took his face between her hands.
“It’s going to be ok sweetie, don’t worry…”He stared back at her blankly, a dumbfounded look on his face mixed with desperation. “Do you know what it means mom? Do you know … I …” He swallowed hard, lowering his head as he found it impossible to look at any member of his family present in the room.
“I killed her mom … I KILLED HER!”
He couldn’t believe it was real. One day his life was perfect. He had all he could have dreamed of in it. And the next it was a whole bundle of shit. Questions started to run through his head wildly: Why him? Why Tess? What had they done to deserve that? Why was he alive and not her?
Dr. Stevens had tried to answer his questions the best he could concerning Tess. Telling him she was alive all the way to the hospital. She had called for him the whole time. But was it supposed to appease his pain of losing her?
Yes, she had loved him. But didn’t he know that already? They had proved their love for each other thousand times in the most intimate way, and for Dr. Stevens and his family, knowing she had called his name before dying was supposed to calm him. It hadn’t saved her.
And calling for her wasn’t going to bring her back either, he knew that…
***************
Max watched the young couple smiling at their newborn baby in a carriage through the large window of his room. The woman was probably leaving the hospital today and it made him want to be in her shoes even more. Those two seemed so happy. They probably deserved their life… as much as he deserved his.
It had been a month since he had woken up. A month during which he had kept repeating to himself that he deserved what he’d gotten. But he couldn’t find what he had done wrong. Maybe he had been too happy… It was the only way he had found to accept his condition without falling apart.
The first days had been the worst: laying on bed, unmoving, barely able to talk. The only distraction he had had was his family and friends who came to visit him. It had been the first days...
But when he had seen the pitiful looks on their faces he had refused any other visit. Most of them never came back anyway. They would come once and when they had seen their friend laying on his bed not even able to do the basic dailies, they’d gone away and never come back. They were probably afraid. Reality was hard to face.
But it was even harder to live it…
Max turned his attention back to the window when he heard someone enter the room.
“Hey man! How are you doing today?”
He grunted back at the one he had once called his best friend; now he didn’t feel like being anyone’s best friend. He had to avoid him, but it seemed that the further he’d get from him, the closer he’d come. Michael was one of those who had come once and had never gone. He was here every morning at 10 a.m. and never went away before 6 p.m. when the visits were over.
It had bothered Max at first; he didn’t want his friend to see him that way. They had known each other all their life since their fathers had been each other’s best friend back in College, and when Michael’s parents had died in a plane accident, leaving him rich but alone, there had been no hesitation to where Michael would live, he had been part of the family way before his parents died and the fact that he had come to live with them had just increased their closeness. They had gone through childhood as best friends and had made it to adulthood as brothers.
“Hey Max! I heard you were going out in two days. Excited?”
Max grunted again. He was happy that was sure. He had wanted to go back home since he had woken up a month ago. But he was afraid too: he didn’t want his parents to stay and he feared they would force him to go back with them to Chicago. His life, even if it was a different one, was here in New York and he had no intention to change this.
He needed to convince them. And he had two days for that.
***************
“Dr. Stevens? My wife told me you wanted to talk to us.”
Dr. Stevens looked at the father of the young boy he had learnt to love like his own son during the last months. He had felt a connection with Max Evans ever since the day he had entered the ER.
This young man looked so much like his own son. But his hadn’t had the chance that Max had had. He hadn’t survived the crash car he and his family had been in.
But he knew it was hard for Max. He knew what Max was going through; he had seen thousand of patients like him. He knew Max was blaming himself for what had happened, just like he had blamed himself for the death of his son and wife. He would do anything to appease the pain of this young man, even if it meant letting go of his career project. He had already several posts in California and even Europe so that he could stay by Max’s side after he had woken up.
“Mr. Evans. How are you today?”
He shook the hand of the man in front of him, suddenly realizing that it was the first time in 3 months that the couple had entered his office to hear good news. He didn’t wait for an answer, too eager to talk about his discovery.
“I wanted to talk to you about Max’s condition actually.”
He watched as Phillip looked wearily at Diane, half expecting to see her burst into tears once again, but she didn’t, instead she focused her attention on the Doctor in front of her, avoiding her husband’s glares.
”Yes doctor, we don’t know yet how we are going to deal with it; he will obviously go back to Chicago with us, but we don’t know anything from now.”
Dr. Stevens nodded, not sure if bringing back Max to Chicago to live with them was the best idea, but that was another issue he would deal with later. “I know I’ve talked to you about Max’s almost impossible chance to ever walk again. The X-rays were very clear on that point and there was no doubt at that time.” He watched the parents crossing eyes, composing himself for what would come next.
“I don’t want you to get your hopes high for nothing, but Max’s chances might have increased a little bit.”
He paused, waiting for the question he was sure would come.
“Are you saying Max might walk again?” Diane’s voice was full of tears and he knew she was holding them on.
“I’m not assuring anything for now, but one of my colleagues in England has developed a new treatment for back injured victims. Their might be a chance for Max to enter the program without even moving from the US; Dr. Richmond, my colleague, has been asking me for months to join him over there and enter the project but I was never willing to leave my patients; now he proposed me to follow my own researches based on his own results from here… and to be honest Max appeared to be the perfect subject for the testing.”
Phillip eyed him carefully, reticent to let his only son take such a risk. “Are you asking us to let our son be tested for a medication that is still experimental? I don’t think so Dr. Stevens. Don’t you think he has been suffering enough, you have to put some more pressure on him. What tell us this drug isn’t even mortal anyway?”
Diane put a comforting hand over her husband’s, trying to calm him down. It was her turn this time to cool things down. “Doctor, I don’t think this is a good idea to put Max through this kind of stress again. The last month has been really hard on him and all we can do now is go back to a normal life.”
“Max will never have a normal life again!”
He hadn’t intended to say it that loud, but when he saw the startled looks on the Evans’ faces he realized his mistake. He started more slowly.
“Listen, I would never have accepted to continue the researches here if it hadn’t been for Max. I heard from it recently again, and it caught my attention. Max has all his chances on his side, and if he doesn’t respond to the first part of the treatment, we’ll stop right away. Dr. Richmond has been testing it on other people, with the exact same symptoms as Max's. The results came out positive for 50% of the patients that were treated. Now he needs me to start the experiment here in America; we have a lot more material here in New York. I wouldn’t do it if it weren’t safe for Max I swear…”
He looked at them obviously bothered by their reluctance. A chance was given to their son and they were hesitating. But at the same time he understood their reaction, they were parents and they were worried.
“Listen I know you care a lot for your son, and I respect you for that, I’ve… had… a son myself and I know what it’s like to take a decision that determinant for him… and that’s why I’m going to be really honest with you, Max is legally old enough to make his own decision. I will be asking him this afternoon for the treatment, and if he accepts, you won’t have a word in it. I just wanted to tell you about it, thinking that maybe if you knew it’ll be easier to seek for support while asking him… you have to understand that this is the chance of a lifetime for Max. He will be in a wheelchair all his life otherwise.”
“You don’t know that.” Phillip erupted, but Diane was on her feet by him in a second.
“Phillip, don’t lie to yourself, you know that he won’t walk again anyway, what will it cost to try this? Max trusts Dr. Stevens and I think we should too. You’ve been by Max’s side all this time, now is not the moment to let him down.”
Phillip look at his wife dumbfounded. He would have thought she'd be the first to be opposed to the idea. “Diane do you realize that Max would be staying in New York! Our all life is in Chicago, we can’t afford to move here!” He knew it was a desperate argument, but he would have tried anything at this point.
He looked as Diane’s face crumbled in deception. She hadn’t thought of that, he could see. She glanced briefly at Dr. Stevens, obviously expecting him to say something, but he didn’t. Instead he nodded, a sad look on his face.
Diane took a deep breath, not even sure she was strong enough to tell what she wanted to. She tried to look as determined as she could but her tears betrayed her.
“If that’s what it takes for Max to be happy… then I think it’s worth it.”
TBC….
