All finished stories from the Unconventional Couples board, the Crossover board, and the Alien Abyss boards will eventually be moved here. See those forums for descriptions.
***I had an idea for something that I thought would be funny. I shared this idea with my sister who then told me “it can’t be done.” One thing about me is that you never tell me it can’t be done! So anyway, I decided to go ahead with my idea. It has probably never been done before and probably never will be again.
This is a mega crossover story. It is between Roswell, Dawson’s Creek, Felicity, The Brady Bunch and also includes Freddie Prinze Jr. I hope it works out the way I want it to and that you all enjoy! This is a short part just to see if anyone likes it. Feedback would be very appreciated!
Disclaimer: I own absolutely NOTHING!!!
Part One- You’ve got to be kidding me!
“Please tell me you are joking!”
“Oh, I am being anything but funny Marsha.”
“My name is not…”
“All of you listen to me and listen good. You are priviliged. Too privilaged. You think the universe circles around you and you pout like babies when things don’t go your way. We are going to change that.”
“Like hell! I love my life and I will be damned if I let you go and mess things up!”
“Do you want to keep your acting career Fred? Because let me tell you now. You don’t cooperate, you no longer have an acting career. It’s that simple!”
“You cant do that!”
“Wanna bet Pacey?”
“My name is not Pacey! I quit playing on that show years ago you two-bit wannabe!”
“So, you wanna play it the hard way hu? Ok then. I was going to take you to Chicago and let you live there for a week. I was going to let you simply observe how people less fortainate than you live. But now that you all seem to be so disagreeable, things are going to change.”
“Change how exactly?”
“Well, Felicity, we are going to spice things up a bit. You see, Chicago is too big of a city with too many possibilities for you. Too many people to kiss your feet and do everything for you.”
“And the problem with that is?”
“The problem, Jan, is that you don’t deserve that kind of attention. You need to see what things are like in the real world.”
“And where exactly are we going?”
“A nice small town in the middle of nowhere. I am sure you have all heard of it. Pack your things people. We leave for Roswell at 5:00 am.”
“You cant do this Jerry!”
“Oh, Ben, I am your agent. I can do whatever the hell I please and if you all want to keep your jobs, there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it! Oh, and get real used to me calling you by your screen names. Until you can all learn that you are no better than anyone else, I am going to treat you like the little piss ants you really are!”
TBC...
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Dropped In Hicksville, USA
Written by Roswell4ever1
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!!!
Part Two- Yeah, Right!
Standing at the edge of town, the group couldn’t help but think that they had been dumped in a desert wasteland. The place was small. Too small. And there was alien stuff everywhere. Had the people in this town lost their minds? They sure didn’t want to stick around long enough to find out!
“How long are we going to be stuck here Jerry?” Cindy asked.
“That is yet to be determined. You will be here until I feel damn good and ready to let you leave.” Jerry replied.
“Out of all the places you could have chosen to dump us in, how the hell did you come up with Roswell, New Mexico?” Dawson asked.
“No kidding! I mean, talk about hicksville!” Felicity added.
“Exactly. Those people in “hicksville” are normal people trying to live normal lives. It will be good for you all to see how they live.”
Just then, a guy walked past the group dressed as an alien wearing an Elvis suit.
“Oh yeah, just normal people trying to live normal lives. Yeah, right!” Freddy said.
“You had better get used to it Fred. You see, they are just beginning their annual alien convention. And it lasts for a month!”
“Shit! You cant leave us here!” Cindy complained.
“Well, you kids have a real good time. And try to be friendly!”
“Come on man!” Dawson yelled.
“Bye now!” Jerry said as he waved and drove away leaving the eight castaways to settle in.
“Damn it! He cant do this!” Pacey yelled as he slammed his foot into a fence post. Grabbing his toe and dancing around like a bird with its tail on fire, he yelled several profanities before sitting down to pout.
“He already did freak!” Ben said.
Pacey jumped up and got in Ben’s face.
“Who the hell do you think you’re calling a freak, mutant boy?”
“Mutant boy? Is that the best you can come up with?” Pacey asked laughing. “My mom could have come up with something better than that! Come to think of it, she could come up with better stuff if she was dead!”
“Well, I can tell you that she was anything but dead last night. Quite lively actually! And boy, she has a good set of lungs!!"
Just then, Pacey jumped on Ben and began to plummet his face with his fists. They continued to roll around on the ground taking turns beating on each other until they heard a siren. A tall man in a blue shirt and jeans wearing a hat and a badge that said Sheriff stepped out of the car and walked toward the group.
“Hello kids. What seems to be the problem here?”
“The problem is that we are stuck in this old run down one horse town where all of you freaks live!”
“Well…” He strained to look toward her shoulder then stood back up. “Cindy, we freaks are going to become your new best friends.
Now, cursing the name tags that Jerry made them wear, she looked right in his eyes. “I will never consider someone who is as far below me as you are to be my best friend!” She spit in his face before standing down.
He laughed as he wiped the spit off his nose.
“What the hell is so funny?” Felicity asked.
“Well, I my name is Valenti. Sheriff Valenti. You will be getting to know me real well. You see, your friend Jerry, is my best friend. We went to college together. I am now in charge of all of you. You will go where I say you go, you will do what I say you do. If I tell you to wipe your ass, you say Charmin or Angel Soft? You got that, y’all?”
They all griped and complained for a few minutes. With very sour looks on their faces, they looked back at Valenti.
“What exactly is it that we have to do?” Jan asked.
“I am glad you asked that girlie. You will all be residing at the Super 8 motel. That’s right, we don’t have a Ritz Carlton here. You will all work jobs here in town. You are now one of us. You will live Roswellian, you will sleep Roswellian, you will shit Roswellian! If you have a problem with that, too bad! I own you now. And now that your friend Jerry is gone, I will tell you that you will be here for at least a year. Probably a lot longer than that!”
“How are we supposed to work?” Pacey asked.
“I just told you, you work here now. Jerry is taking the money you would be making from your films and donating it to charities.”
“He cant do that! That’s stealing!” Dawson said.
“No son, it isnt. If you will think, you signed a contract.”
“No kidding! But that doesn’t give him the right to take our money without our permission.” Ben said.
“Actually, it does. In those contracts, there was a clause that stated that if you were placed on suspension for any reason, your agent could do with your salary what he saw fit.”
“Could this get any friggin worse?” Marsha asked.
Just then it began to downpour.
“I need to get back to town now. I will see you all at the motel in twenty minutes.”
“How the hell are we supposed to get there?” Jan asked hotly.
“You know those two long things below your waist? Use them!” Valenti replied as he got in his car and drove away.
The group just stood there for a minute in total shock. They never had to walk in the rain before. They always had drivers to take them everywhere. This was going to be a long year. A VERY long year!
Dropped In Hicksville, USA
Written by Roswell4ever1
Disclaimer:
Part Three- Work?
When they arrived at the hotel, the manager handed them the keys to their new rooms. Surprisingly, they didn’t have to share.
“Sheriff Valenti said for y’all to wait for him in the lobby.” The man told them.
“Is someone going to take our bags to our rooms already?” Jan asked.
“Sorry princess. We don’t cater to people here. Not even you tv brats.” He then walked back into the employee break room.
“Ugh! The nerve of that guy!” Marsha exclaimed as they walked toward the lobby.
They all sat on the UFO shaped couch and waited. Valenti walked over to the waiting group with a handful of manila envelopes. He handed one to each of them and then sat down.
“The packets I have just handed each of you includes a town map, list of the things to do in Roswell, a paper stating your new place of employment, a slip for your employers to fill out each week stating the hours you work, a list of physicians, emergency contact numbers, and a sheet stating where our weekly meetings will be held. You are all required to meet with me once a week for evaluation. If you miss a session or a day of work, you’d better have a doctors excuse. For each day you miss without an excuse, your time here will be extended by one week. This is not a vacation. You will follow the rules or face the consequences. If you think things are bad now, push me and see just how bad they can get. Now, take your belongings to your rooms. You are all due at work in an hour.”
“You’ve got to be kidding! We just got here.” Dawson said.
“Yes you did. And I for one would like to welcome you. However, this is not Hollywood. You will not get a free ride here. No, go get ready. Some of your jobs are quite a ways from here.” After saying this, Valenti walked out.
“Alright, where the hell do I work?” Pacey asked as he tore his packet open. He found the slip and his face turned red with fury. “The Sanitation Department? The friggin Sanitation Department! I will be damned if I will pick up other peoples trash!”
They all tore into their packets then dreading what was inside.
“The Crashdown? What the heck is that?” Felicity asked.
“The UFO Museum. Great.” Freddy said.
“Oh hell no! I will not be a Merry Maid!” Jan shouted.
“Ellie’s Country Kitchen. Lovely. I’m a waitress. My dream come true.” Cindy said.
“The Rock Quarry. Pushing rocks around all day is not my idea of a good time.” Dawson said.
“I got The Crashdown too. I wonder what it is.” Marsha said.
“The Sewer Plant! Shit!” Ben shouted.
“Literally.” Dawson laughed. Just then, a large pillow shaped like Saturn smacked him in the head. He was too tired to fight so he brushed it off and headed upstairs. The others followed. Their rooms were scattered. Some were on the ground floor, some on the second while others were in the rooms in the next building.
“Why the hell does a town as small as this need this big of a hotel anyway?” Felicity asked herself.
They all got settled and using their maps, made their way to their new jobs.
“No way in hell am I wearing that!” Marsha yelled.
“I think it’s kind of cute.” Felicity told her.
“Your kidding right? I mean what’s next? Antenna?” Marsha yelled. Just then, a petite brunette walked out of the back room and handed Marsha a headband with antenna on it.
“Gee, thanks!” Marsha told her sarchastically.
“No problem. By the way, I’m Liz.”
“I’m so happy for you!” Marsha replied.
“Hi Liz. I’m Felicity.”
Liz looked at the girl. She was actually nice. What was she doing with the other girl?
“Hi Felicity. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, you too.”
“Come on, I’ll show you around.” Liz took Felicity and gave her the grand tour. Liz’s dad, Mr. Parker dealt with Marsha. Seeing as how she was going to be a problem for the customers, he put her on dish duty.
“Liz.”
Nothing.
“Liz.”
“Hu?” Liz looked up from what she was doing and saw Felicity looking at her. “What’s up?”
“Who are they?” She pointed to a group sitting in the corner.
“Oh. Well, the girl on the far left with the long curly hair is Isabel Evans. The girl sitting next to her is Tess Harding and the girl next to her is my best friend Maria DeLuca. The guy sitting next to Maria is Alex Whitman. The one next to him is Kyle Valenti. Then there is Michael Guerin and the one next to him is Max Evans.”
“They friends of yours?”
“Yep. We all grew up together. Why? One catch your eye?” Liz asked grinning.
Felicity blushed as she spoke. “That Michael guy is really hot!”
Liz giggled. “Want to meet them?”
“Oh no..no. I…I…Well, yeah.” She stuttered.
“Come on.” They walked over to the large corner booth.
“Hey guys.”
“Hey Liz.” Alex said. They all looked at her and smiled.
“How’s it goin?” Isabel asked.
“Really good. Umm, guys, this is Felicity. She’s new here and will be your waitress today.”
Felicity’s eyes got huge and she leaned down and whispered to Liz. “I have never done this before.”
“Don’t worry. All you have to do is write what they want on this little tablet of paper, take it to the order window and hand it to Pedro. Relax. You’ll do fine!” With that, Liz walked away.
“I am not a housekeeper! I don’t even clean my own house, why would I clean someone else’s?” Jan asked Mr. Renolds
“Because missy, this is where Sheriff Valenti placed you therefore, you have no choice.”
“Wanna bet? I could just walk out that door and leave. Leave this stupid job, leave that hellhole of a hotel, leave this joke of a town!”
“You’re right. You could. If you don’t care that much about your acting career. It is my impression that if you don’t comply here, you wont have an acting career anymore.”
“Damn it all to hell!” Jan yelled as she picked up the broom. “This is blackmail.”
“No, this is an opportunity.” Mr. Renolds said.
“An opportunity? For what exactly? Blistered hands and smelly clothes?”
“For a new life. How long were you in Hollywood before you started acting?”
“I don’t live in Hollywood. I live in L.A.” She corrected.
“Ok, L.A. How long were you there?”
“Three years.” She said.
“And you didn’t give up did you?” He asked.
“No.”
“No. You pushed on. You gave the city a chance and you became a part of it. You looked it in the face and said Here I am. Deal with it!”
“Yeah, so?” Jan asked.
“So, give Roswell a chance. Give the people a chance. Here we are. Deal with it!” Mr. Renolds turned and walked away leaving Jan to ponder.
As much as she wanted to hate that man, something about him appealed to her.
When Cindy walked into Ellie’s, she felt claustrophobic. The place was so small. But, kind of cute. It was decorated like it was still the 50s. The top half of the walls were light blue and the bottom half were black and white checkered. The base of the counter was also the black and white checker pattern while the top of it was white marble. The two waitresses went around on skates and wore poodle dresses.
She met Ellie, the café owner and got her new uniform. Everyone seemed really friendly and welcomed her in like she actually belonged. She might just like it here.
Dawson, Pacey and Ben were surprised to find out that their jobs really werent that bad. They were nothing like they thought they would be. The Rock Quarry, Sanitation Department and Sewer Plant were all at the same center. They all worked together and got to know the other workers. After work, they all went to the Crashdown for dinner and met up with Felicity and Marsha. Freddy was not far behind.
Sheriff Valenti met up with them all at the Crashdown to see how their first days were going. To his surprise, all but Marsha were really enjoying themselves and even Marsha was beginning to bend. This might not be as bad as he had expected. He looked over and noticed that at one of the other booths, sat Liz, Alex, Kyle, Isabel, Tess, Maria, Max and Michael. He invited them to scoot some tables over and join them. The two groups joined and spent the next two hours getting to know each other.
By the time they returned to their rooms, they were exhausted. But, altogether, it was a good day. And the thing that shocked them all the most was that they were looking forward to tomorrow.
Meanwhile, across town, the other group had met at the Valenti house.
“Man that Felicity girl is hot!” Michael said as he walked out of the kitchen with his can of Pepsi. “Hey Liz, think you can hook me up?”
“I don’t think that will be too difficult Michael. She seems to have an interest in you too.” Liz responded.
“Really? Cool!”
“Hey, did anyone but me think that Pacey was built really nice?” Maria asked. “I mean wow!”
“I don’t know Maria. He really isn’t my type.” Kyle joked.
Everyone except Valenti laughed.
“He better not be!” He told Kyle.
“Relax dad. I’ll be keeping my eye on Marsha!” he moved his eyebrows up and down in a seductive manner.
“I personally think that Jan is much hotter than Marsha.” Max said.
“Sorry guys, but Cindy beats them all!” Alex responded.
“Well, at least you all aren’t fighting over them. How about you girls? Who are you interested in?” Jim asked.
“Like I said before, Pacey is definitely at the top of my list!” Maria told him.
“I prefer Dawson.” Liz said.
“I am definitely a Ben person.” Tess replied.
“Well, then I guess it is a really good thing that I think that Freddy is gorgeous!” Isabel told them.
“I bet you all that I am the first one to hook up.” Michael told them all.
“What are we playing for?”
“The winner gets a free dinner from everyone else. And the last one to hook up, has to shave their head.” Valenti said.
They all just sat there for a minute shocked that he was going along with their little bet.
“Sounds good to me! I like food!” Michael said.
“I want you to all listen to me a minute though. I will not have you using these kids just to win a bet. If you are really interested in them, then that’s fine. But if you aren’t, then leave them alone. They are not objects to be won. They are people and they have feelings too. And I also think that they should be brought in on this. They have a right to know what is going on.” Jim told them.
“How are we going to tell them without ruining everything?” Isabel asked.
“Well, I think that is why the girls should tell the girls and the guys should tell the guys. That way, they have a fair chance. Besides, it makes things more interesting.”
“You know, since you are helping with this, I really think you should be a part of it.” Maria told him.
“What do you mean a part of it?” Jim asked her.
“Well, I think you should be persuing your own interests too. And the same stakes apply.”
“Excuse me?”
“With my mom! It is so obvious you both want each other! So come on Jimmy, play along!” She told him.
“In the first place Maria, my name is not Jimmy. In the second place, your on!” He replied. They all shook hands setting the bet in motion.
Michael looked around at the group. “Let the games begin!”
Dropped In Hicksville, USA
Written By Roswell4ever1
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of the characters or places from Roswell, Dawson’s Creek, The Brady Bunch or the books of any of them. I only own those characters which I made up and some of the events that encompass them.
Part Four-Where There’s Smoke…
She was tired. It had been a long night the night before. The Crashdown stayed open late for the ball game. Roswell High was playing Hondo High and as usual, Roswell won again. They were on their way to State and the Crashdown held a big celebration in honor of the players. Max, being the quarterback was given a trophy sponsored by the UFO Center where he worked at. Michael, Alex and Kyle were also given awards. None of them had expected the celebration.
“My goodness I feel like I live here.” She stated.
Liz looked up at her. She was beautiful. She was 25, had long blonde hair and lavender eyes from her tinted contact lenses. If she had been any skinnier, she would just blow away. She had an amazing husband who looked like John Travolta and built websites for a living.
“Yeah I know the feeling Lesley.” Liz told her. “Try having your parents be the owners. Then you would literally live here!”
“No thanks. It’s 9:00 now. You want me to open the doors?”
“Yeah if you don’t mind.” Liz told her.
“How is it going with this bet y’all have going on?”
“It isnt. It has been two months now and no one has gotten anywhere yet. They know about it and aren’t gonna make it easy for us.”
“I wouldn’t either. It’s no fun if it’s easy. There’s nothing like a good fight. I had to fight for my husband.”
“You did?”
“Oh yeah! He had this one girl after him. She was really pretty. Had red hair and the most amazing blue eyes and it was hard to compete with her. But I was fortunate. Billy saw how much I love him and we’ve been together ever since. And now we’re expecting.”
“Oh my gosh! Congratulations!” Liz hugged Lesley. “I’m so happy for you!”
“Thanks hun. I’m pretty happy myself!” Just then a familiar bell rang. Someone had walked in.
“Well, now I know why you haven’t won the bet. You’re in love with Lesley.” Maria joked.
“Yes Maria. That’s it. I’m in love with my married, pregnant co-worker!” Liz joked.
“Oh my gosh! Your pregnant? Oh this is so exciting!” Maria was jumping up and down and screaming at the top of her lungs.
“Maria, calm down! You’re gonna scare away all the potential customers.” Liz told her.
“How far along are you?” Liz asked.
“About twelve weeks. But I just found out yesterday.”
“Wow! Well at least one of us is getting some!” Maria joked.
“Maria!” Liz chuckled.
Around 5:30 that night, the rest of the gang showed up for dinner. This had become an all the time thing. Whenever one of them was working at the Crashdown, the rest would eat dinner there. They were all surprised at how well the out of towners were adjusting now. It was like they had lived there all their lives. They were all glad that they had come.
“Oh man! Could this day possibly get any longer?” Liz asked.
“Well, it cou…Liz, what’s that smell?” Maria asked.
“Smells like smoke.” Liz turned around to see the bright yellow-orange glow from the window in the kitchen door. “Oh my gosh! The kitchen is on fire!” She yelled as she ran toward the door. Dawson quickly ran in front of her and stopped her from going in.
“Dawson, I have to get in there! I have to put it out!” Liz yelled.
“You cant go in there. It’s too dangerous. Let us get it.” Dawson told her as all the guys ran into the kitchen in an attempt to put the fire out.
An hour later, everyone stood outside looking at what used to be the Crashdown Café. It was an electrical fire and even though they had all done their best to put it out, it burned down anyway.
“What are we going to do now?” Liz asked. “Mom and dad are in Vegas at a food service convention and will be headed to California and Washington after that.”
“How long will they be gone?” Freddy asked.
“Supposed to be for two months. All these conventions make it hard to get in touch with them. They are going to be so upset when they see this!” Liz began to cry.
“Well then we just wont let them see it.” Pacey said.
Dropped In Hicksville, USA
Written By Roswell4ever1
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!!!
Part Five: Things Change.
Three Months Later:
The Crashdown had been back in business for a month and a half. With all of them working together, it only took six weeks to rebuild. The Parkers were amazed at how good it looked. The kids had really pulled together and the newcomers had paid for it all. They had contacted their agent who alotted them enough money to cover the rebuilding and furnishing of the diner.
Lesley and her husband Billy discovered that they were not having a baby. Nope, they were having triplets! They couldnt be more excited! Things were going really good for the group. Jerry was so impressed at the way the group had changed that he had decided to let them leave early. He was planning on picking them up on Friday. Of course, it would be a surprise to them as they still thought they would be in Roswell for at least another eight months.
Maria and Pacey had gotten together and had been dating now for about two and a half months as had Max and Marsha. Everyone was amazed at how much Marsha had changed. She no longer had the bad attitude. In fact, she had turned into one of the most polite people you could come across. Cindy and Alex had been dating now for about two months and couldnt be more in love!
Dawson and Liz, Ben and Tess and Freddy and Isabel had all gotten together at the towns street dance six weeks ago and were all as happy as could be. Jim had asked Amy out two months ago and she turned him down. Said she wouldnt be a part of his little bet he had with the kids. The same happened with Michael and Felicity. Both girls had eventually changed their minds. As a matter of fact, they had gotten together and decided to make the switch at the same time. The next day, Jim and Michael were sitting in the barber shop getting their heads shaved.
Things had finally gotten back to normal for everyone. Everyone was happy and they had become like one big family. Jerry got the shock of his life when he went to pick up the group on Friday and they all told him they decided to stay in Roswell. They had all given up their acting careers and chose to keep their new jobs. Their new lives.
Three years later, they were all still together. Jim and Amy, Michael and Felicity, Maria and Pacey, Ben and Tess and Kyle and Marsha had all gotten married. Alex and Cindy, Freddy and Isabel and Dawson and Liz were engaged. Lesley now had four children. Three girls and a boy. Amy, Maria, Isabel and Liz all had children and Tess and Felicity were expecting and Cindy was working with a Fertility Specialist to try to have children. He was confident that it would work! They were all still the best of friends and were inseparable. Although they fought it at first, the outsiders were all glad that they came to Roswell. It was the best thing that ever happened to them. This was their home now. This was where they would stay. And every Christmas, Jerry always received gifts and cards from all of them. Not just the outsiders, but all of them! They were all greatful for what he had done for them. And in all of their weddings, he was the best man!
The End!
A/N: I know it is a lame ending, but I just didnt know where to take it from the point it was at. I hope you all enjoyed it!
