Author: Kristy (flgirl4@yahoo.com)
Disclaimer: If the story line and characters of Roswell been mine, I would have never created Tess or her “child”
Rating: YTEEN to very mild ADULT
Summary: Slight AU CC/UC M/L and M/T with sides of M/M, I/J (mentions of I/A). Before Departure, Liz has gotten her powers. How does this affect the group? Is there some other reason she has gotten these powers?
Author’s Note: Please, don’t kill me for having Tess and the mistake night/baby!! I’m only 17! Have a long life ahead! They are, unfortunately, necessary in my story. Like I said, it’s before departure, but does include CYN and ITLAITB.
Banner: If you’d like to make one for me, it will be accepted gratefully.
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White. That’s all that her sight contained. A seemingly endless stretch of white. Textured white. It reminded her both of an endless white sea and that of nothingness. That’s what she wanted. Nothingness.
With a sigh, Liz Parker sat up and brought her legs up to her chest, tearing her eyes away from her ceiling. One hand hugged her legs close to her body, while the other pushed back her long, dark hair. Her mind was jumbled, trying to process what her powers had given her. The emotions that radiated off of everyone in that small town were pouring themselves into Liz’s conscienceness. The happiness, the fear, the sadness, all of it, reverberated across her mind until her headache grew worse and worse.
She knew how to stop it. She had to focus on one person. But she had tried that.
She raked back her hair again as she shuddered. *Bastard* she thought, then pushed the thought away.
She had concentrated first on someone she thought wouldn’t have too many forceful emotions. Michael. She became confused and pained at the absolute anger and fear that struck him. So she moved to Max. Then Tess. She knew what the emotions meant. Tess was pregnant. And judging by the pride seeping off of her, she knew it was Max’s.
She had no right to be angry, she knew that much. It didn’t mean she wasn’t. It didn’t mean that she wasn’t hurt.
She sought to find a time where she was truly happy. She searched her mind a long time. Then she realized that she had never truly been. There had always been that fact, that horrible fact, lurking in the deepest recesses of her mind...
To hell with it all. Liz played with the hem of her shirt, wishing away the thoughts and the emotions. Nothingness. She needed to focus on nothingness...
A tear slipped down her face. It was useless. Instinctively, she turned her head to her window. *No* was her only thought. Before she could voice it, however, she caught the look on his face.
Max looked terrible. The rain that she had forgotten was falling had soaked him, making him look so ... normal. He looked as he always did. He even reminded her of the first time she saw him, so many years ago, when they were both too shy, before she knew. She let herself forget why she was mad for a second, drinking in the look of him in this vulnerable, innocent state.
Though it was raining, tear tracks were noticeable along his cheek. He looked as though he hadn’t shaven in days. His eyes were red and had dark circles underneath. But there was a hopefulness and a wistfulness as he looked at her, his amber-gold eyes meeting her doe brown ones. And even though she knew, she looked to him as she always did; she looked at him with love and longing. The intensity that always lingered in their soulful stares remained, even with what had changed. Then another tear escaped from her eye, a tear she did not know she was holding back, and she broke the fragile contact with him. Reality began to set in. She didn’t know why, but she rose and opened the window. The magic had broken from their stare, but they looked anyway. He began to come in but she put a hand on his shoulder.
“No,” was the only thing she said. Understanding flashed through his tired eyes, now looking so old when seconds before they had been so young. He opened up his mouth to speak, to plead his case, but she let a single finger stop him. He yearned to press his lips against her finger, to feel some of the intimacy they once shared. But her hand slipped to her side.
They looked at the ground, not sure how to begin a conversation, not sure if they should talk so soon. Finally, Liz reached to a chair beside her a grabbed a jacket. As she slowly put it on, she nodded for him to step back so she could get through. He seemed to not recognize the gesture, and she had to push her way past him. She stumbled as she did, and he caught her in his arms.
She refused to look up. She knew the stare would return if she looked up, and for now she didn’t want it to happen again. They needed to talk.
They slowly made their way down the fire escape. When they reached the pavement, Liz sighed deeply. He had walked to her house, she realized.
“Liz,” he started. She closed her eyes. His voice was painful, rough and low. She shook her head slightly. She needed to talk first. She picked a direction and started to walk. She didn’t look behind her to see if he was following. She knew him too well. She knew he was.
“Liz, please, just-“ he began again, but again she cut him off.
They had been walking for some time, maybe fifteen minutes, though it felt like fifteen hours, before she began to talk.
“Max, I know,” she said softly. He nodded his head in response. He had assumed so when he saw her, saw the betrayal she felt in her eyes. Now she was trying to keep her face emotionless, but he knew better. She was still not meeting his eyes. He himself was avoiding hers. “There’s things you need to know,” she said, then stopped. How could she explain all of this to him? Have him understand? She couldn’t tell him everything, but she needed to explain some things.
“We all now know that the granolith is a spaceship. But there was a time ... there was a time it was modified to become a time machine.” she glanced at him briefly. He was extremely confused.
“Liz, but, time travel ... we know that’s not poss-“
”Like aliens aren’t possible?” she stated. His mouth shut quickly. He motioned for her to go on. She took a deep breath. “I know this because it was used. Last October, when you ... when you ... sang to me,” she looked away again “I had a visitor from the future. You. Fourteen years in the future. You ... he told me that Michael, Isabel ... Tess, and yourself are a unit and are not as powerful if you stray from that unit.
“He told me that in his time line, you had strayed from that unit, because Tess left. Because of me ... and you. We were together. And when Khivar came to Earth, you all were not prepared and we were dying. Everyone was dying. Michael and Isabel had died just before he came. It was becoming the end of the world.
“So he told me to make you fall out of love with me.”
He looked up at that and stopped in his tracks. “What?” he asked, stunned.
She let out a long, tired breath. “That’s why I said ... what I said. That’s why I staged the scene with Kyle.”
“It was staged?” He asked. “You didn’t?”
“No,” she said. “I didn’t sleep with Kyle.” He slowly sunk to the ground as she followed.
“Why now?” he asked, his voice hoarse. “Why tell me now?” A tear slipped down her face, even as she was trying to be strong.
“Because it worked. I succeeded. You’re with Tess now. She’s having your child. I don’t get that chance,” she said, her voice getting softer and softer. She angrily swiped the tear running down her face away, only to have it replaced by more. Suddenly she was pulled into his strong, warm arms. She sobbed into his broad chest as she felt tears on her shoulder from his eyes.
She felt everything surface, Alex’s death, the fight with her parents, the trouble with her powers, Tess’ pregnancy, and she cried for all of it. They held on to each other, crying together. He rocked her back and forth, pushing his own emotion down. His need to take care of her, comfort her was overpowering. He pressed a chaste, comforting kiss to her forehead and sighed.
“You didn’t succeed, Liz. I may have slept with her, but I still love you, Liz. I will always love you. You will always have my heart, no matter what. It has always, and will always be that way. I don’t love her. I will be sorry everyday of my life that I slept with her. I will always be sorry that I was so hypocritical. God, do you realize how much I wish that if this had to happen, that you would be the one for it to happen to? I love you, Liz,” he said, still pressing her into him.
“No, Max. You think you’re helping me, saying these things, but you’re only making it worse. Why did you have to sleep with her? Please, just don’t, don’t, I can’t deal with this,” the rest was muffled as she buried her head into his chest deeper, but something along the lines of nothing in this world nor any other wanted her happy. She looked away from him. She had unconsciously brought them to his house, she realized. He shook his head, rain water flying off of it as he did.
“You’re wrong, Liz,” he said and pushed up her chin so that she was looking at him. He then cupped her face with his hands. “I want you happy, Liz,” he said softly.
Their gaze was held a second too long as his eyes drifted to her lips. She drew in a ragged breath then grabbed him from behind his head and their lips finally met. There was nothing at all tender about the kiss. It was filled with longing and fear and need. Forcefully their lips met again and again and their tongues dueled. Their was more passion in that kiss than any other they had ever received. Finally he broke the kiss. She moaned at the loss of contact, but then his lips met her neck.
She didn’t know how they ended up in his room, blind from the passion they were experiencing. They were met with the extreme need for completion, and that was all they knew. When he finally entered her, they knew this was where they needed to be, with each other. Their forehands met and he kissed her one last time as ecstacy surrounded them.
It was only until then, that he was buried deep inside of her, coming down from their unnatural bliss, that it really hit her. They had made love. Tess was pregnant. Something was different about Max. She couldn’t ask him what was different, though, as he was already falling asleep.
He exited her, and she couldn’t help but whimper at the loss of him. She knew it was a mistake. But it didn’t mean she had to regret it. She sighed and slowly got out of bed. It was then that she noticed. An empty bottle of liquor. She looked back at her lover then again to the bottle.
“No,” she said softly. She could only now, after too much had happened, recognize the signs that he had been drunk. She remembered the last time he had gotten drunk, how he had remembered nothing. She closed her eyes, not having the willpower to feel pity for herself.
Then she felt it. *Goddamn it* she thought angrily. Two extra presences in the room. She knew who they were.
She got dressed quickly, then dressed Max carefully, so that he wouldn’t suspect anything.
*Maybe he won’t find out* she thought distractedly. She ran home, only vaguely noticing that the rain had stopped. Once she got to her room, she collapsed. She didn’t know how long she stayed there, but once she snapped out of it, her mind was made up. She quickly filled a bag and left a note for her mother. She then grabbed the car keys and walked determinedly out of the house. She had to leave. She couldn’t stay in Roswell any longer.
TBC
School started again, Senior year, and I just now had some time on my hands to get chapter two up. I will try my best to get chapter three up tomorrow, but I honestly can't say whether or not I can. Thanks all the people who stuck with this story!!!
*sigh* I really needed this outlet of writting. Hope you enjoy, thanks so much for all the feedback!!!!