Author's Notes: Umm, not really sure how this came to be. Phoenix left a feather for me and I typed this, so it's angsty, NOT FLUFF. These are a series of poems/thoughts of the different characters. I will post Kyle's and Tess as soon as I find my disc. It decided to walk away without telling me. I'm not pleased.
Summary, the gang's thoughts after S2.
Rating? TEEN
Kind of free form/verse poetry of Liz's mind right after Departure. Oh, and you may want some tissue handy. Thank Bordersinsanity for the awesome banners! Jadeling goes gives her big hugs and roses!
Want
"What do you want?" his soft voice asks me.
I can only stare as I let those words sink in. 'What do I want?'
I want to laugh. I want to smile again without restraint, without fear. I want to be happy. I want to be safe in your arms once more.
I want to feel innocent again. I want to relieve our first hug, our first dance, our first kiss, our first date. I want to us to smile with our friends.
I want him back. I want to see his smile, to hear his voice, to be able to hug and hold him tight again.
I want to know why? I want to understand. I want to know, was it slow or quick, painful or painless?
I want to know if she's sorry. I want to know what she's thinking. I want to know if she feels our pain.
I want to know how you could do it. I want to know how you're in love with me, but how you could hold, dance, kiss, love her.
I want to hurt her. I want her to feel like he did in those last moments. I want her to bleed, to cry, to scream. I want her to hurt as we do.
I want to shout. I want to yell at you, scream at you, hit you, punish you. I want you to feel the weight of my tears.
I want to cry. I want my friends around me. I want my special night, my wedding, my marriage. I want my fourteen years.
I want to fall. I want to collapse, to break, to rest, to sleep. I want to let go of this weight.
I want... I want...
All these things I want, but I can only say, "I don't know, Max; I don't know."
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Author's Notes: I guess, this how I wanted Max to be at the end of the 2nd season/beginning of the 3rd season. Yet, I never got it. So I wrote this. *Shrug* Enjoy.
If
You come up in your uniform and ask the same question you always ask, “What can I get for you?”
If I said “You,” would you come to me? Would you let me hold you again?
If I said “Forgiveness,” would you believe me? Would you accept my sincerity?
If I said “Revenge,” would you back me? Would you follow the same path?
If I said “My son,” would you help me? Would you be able to love him?
If I said “Alex,” would you hold me? Would you cry with me?
If I said “Happiness,” would you sit by me? Would you take my hand?
If I said “Peace,” would you hear me? Would you rest your head on my shoulder?
If I said “Love,” would you kiss me? Would you stay with me forever?
If, all I can think about is “if.” I look up at you once more, “A Cherry Coke and Saturn rings.”
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A/N:Anyway, this is going to be a Stargazing comp. First Isabel than Alex. I may do Candy too. I don't know. Poetry was always iffy for me.
It's somebody's/something's fault that I've been writing all of this Angst lately. I just don't know who or what. I suspect my Hilary Duff CD. It's too happy. Anyway, I think you might want these: *Jadeling starts handing out tissue boxes.*
Make Believe
"Isabel, you're in denial. You need to let go."
Denial they say, because I talk to him. I know better; it's not denial because he's there. Because I know, it's only make believe.
You remember the game, if things didn't go your way, you just make believe.
I'm crying, the tears are streaking my face. Tears? I only got something in my eye, see, make believe.
I see Liz and Maria, two out of two. I don't like that; they're two out of three, see, make believe.
Tess betrayed me, all of us. No, it's not true; she's our friend, see, make believe.
My brother slept with Tess, is having a baby. Baby, what baby, I don't remember a baby; see, make believe.
Kyle carried his body; she made him forget. Huh, what are you saying; he carried her bags, see, make believe.
It's my fault he's gone, because of who I am. That makes no sense; it was a car accident, see, make believe.
Alex is gone; he not coming back. Is that some sick joke? He's at band practice, see, make believe.
I treated him badly; now it's too late. Who said that? We've been together since last year, happily, see, make believe.
He loved me, and I never returned it. See, that's wrong, that's just a lie, because I do love him.
And that's not make believe.
I turn to see him smiling at me, Good-bye, it's time to stop playing make believe. "All right."
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Faith
"Isabel, you're in denial. You need to let go."
Denial, they call it denial. What they don't have, is faith.
I'm still here watching, because I have faith.
She still loves me, because she has faith.
Maria still sings for me, because she has faith.
Michael still stays by her for me, because he has faith.
Kyle still smiles for me, because he has faith
Liz still believes in me, because she has faith.
Max, well, Max took a while, but now, it's okay, because he has found faith.
I stand watching her smiling; I know she sees me. Now it's time to go, but it'll work out. We still have faith.
"All right."
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Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell; it belongs to much smarter people than myself.
Author's Notes: Ummm, I think you may want these again. *Jadeling whips out tissue boxes once more* However, it think these will be for good tears, not sad ones. *Shrugs* I tried, but yeah. Anyway, just in case you wanted some Candy.
Why?
He was annoying and rude. So why did I look at him?
He was inconsiderate and selfish. So why was I drawn to him?
He was an alien and wanted to leave. So why did I go with him?
He was a general and had followers. So why did I cling to him?
Because I love him.
I was flaky and brash. So why did he kiss me?
I was harsh, and demanding. So why did he keep coming for me?
I was human and had dreams to leave too. So why did he encourage me?
I was just a waitress and had nothing. So why did he stay for me?
Because he loves me too.
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Jadeling's Notes: The irony in this is that while working on Michael's piece, I realized that his is longer, still am handing out tissue.
Because
I don't understand her. I never know what she wants, needs, yet she's here with me.
It just is.
I stole her car and kidnapped her, twice, thinking she'd throw me in jail, yet she's here with me.
It just is.
I bought her shampoo, and tried to give her a bumper. I even asked her to cover a check, yet she's here with me.
It just is.
I give her mix signals and yell at her. I've been mean and impolite to her, yet she's here with me.
It just is.
I drive her crazy, and push her away. I pick a fight with her at every chance we get, yet she's here with me.
It just is.
I tried not to care about her, and never succeeded. I know she's tried the same, yet she's here with me, and I need to be with her.
It just is
I tried to leave, and almost did numerous times. I almost left her, yet she's still here with me, and I'll be there with her.
I love her for it. For all of it,
Because it just is.
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Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell; I just like peaking inside their minds.
Author's Notes: Because you asked so nicely Lindsay, I'm posting the Kyle and Tess pieces. Kyle's thought process when he saw Tess again in Four Aliens and a Baby.
She's Back
She's back and my balance is gone; why is she here?
She's back and my world is upside down; why is Max defending her?
She's back and my hurt is coming again; why did she do it?
She's back and my anger explodes; why is she even talking to me?
She's back and I remember her betrayal; why didn't she just tell us?
She's back and I wish she was someone else; why couldn't he come back?
She's back and I see her baby; why did I say her baby, not Max's baby?
She's back and I can tell she's trying to reach out to me; why doesn't she see she's done enough?
She's back and we're scared again; why does she complicate things?
She's back and we're still suffering from her mistakes; why are we paying for her crimes?
She's back and we're about to make a choice; why am I undecided?
She's back and we 're going to rest; why can't I find my inner peace?
She's gone and we're safe; why I am sad?
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Author's Notes: Tess's thoughts as Kyle decides whether to turn her into the government.
Sorry
I'm standing and I'm scared. It's true, but I stand waiting for your judgment.
But before you start may I begin?
Would you believe me if I told you sorry?
I never meant for things to go this way.
Could you forgive me, if I said I'm sorry?
I miss him too; I didn't think he'd be so far gone.
Do you see me? Do you see I'm sorry?
I didn't mean to cause the pain in your heart.
Can you accept my word as is? I'm sorry.
I meant it when I said you were my friend.
I see your eyes and know it's too late.
To say sorry
Jadeling's Notes: There they're done! Hope you enjoyed The Thoughts Series. Here, some more tissue.