banner by nikkisue
DISCLAIMER: The characters of Roswell are the property of Twentieth Century Fox Television and Regency Productions. All original characters and concepts are the property of the author. No profit has been made from the distribution of this work of fiction.
CATEGORY: post-Departure, future fic, Pathos trilogy
RATING: MATURE, for language and sexual situations
SUMMARY: Jase Parker reflects on his life and the women he has loved.
PART ONE
2030
Jase Parker stood on the top step, the exit straight ahead of him. He unconsciously knocked his knees together and caught his mother’s amused smile out of the corner of his eye just as Absalom’s right hand clasp his shoulder. He turned left slightly, enough to see Absalom’s blue eyes bright with silent laughter then faced front, the empty aisle separating him from the door.
He glanced to his right and smiled at Lily, beautiful and glowing in her pale blue bridesmaid dress despite her advanced stage of pregnancy. Four-year-old Rory stood at her mother’s feet and gave him a small wave before turning her attention to the remaining flower petals in her basket. Fourteen-year-old Nina, the maid of honor, stood to Lily’s left; she hadn’t been old enough to remember Maria before her death but Jase and his mother had often discussed how much like Maria both physically and emotionally Nina was. It was as if someone had wanted to leave a carbon copy of Maria behind after her passing.
Jase turned left when Absalom’s hushed whisper startled him from his thoughts, sixteen-year-old Seth smiled widely at him causing Absalom to roll his eyes. Seth glanced to his right as Pachebel’s Canon in D echoed through the church and Jase shifted his weight to see what his brother was staring at. Nina blushed as Jase’s eyes met hers and she quickly turned forward, looking across the small crowd to the closed double doors.
Seeking out his mother once again seated on the second pew beside his father and Fallon, Lily and Absalom’s oldest daughter, Jase arched his eyebrows, hoping she would understand the implications of his facial expressions. Liz closed her eyes and nodded her head once, a calm flooding into his soul immediately. He watched his father place a chaste kiss on his mother’s cheek and the slight blush that crept across her face. He felt a stab in his heart as he continued to watch his parents, remembering a time when he thought their marriage couldn’t be saved; they had been through so much in their lives, making them look even older than their forty-eight years. Gray peppered his father’s hair and Jase’s hand unconsciously went to his temple, his mind wondering how much of his own hair would turn gray. His eyes sought out Lily again, his sister whispering something to Rory, but she raised her head and locked eyes with him. She smiled and gave him a wink as she straightened and faced the now open double doors.
With one final glance at his parents, their profiles in view, Jase stared down the aisle at Livvie. Sunlight filtered into the chapel, giving her an angelic, almost ethereal glow and Jase’s eyes misted as his mind conjured a long-dead dream of Larissa Valenti. He lowered his head while his teenage vision played out, a dream that had died eight years earlier as he had watched Morgana take Larissa’s life, simply because Jase had loved her.
Tears fell onto his shoes and Jase sniffed loudly, tempted to wipe his nose on the sleeve of his jacket. He straightened and instantly felt Absalom’s and Lily’s eyes on him. Turning to his right, he met the concerned gaze of his sister, her amber eyes misting with tears and he offered her a half-smile and a quick wink before staring at Livvie once again.
It had been Lily who had told him about a then fifteen-year-old Livvie’s crush but his mind was too hardened, his heart dead after gaining revenge against Morgana to pay attention to Livvie’s feelings. He had turned to the bottle as Michael had after Maria’s death, and just as she had saved Michael from self-destruction, his mother had been his guiding path to sobriety. Jase had remained in Roswell long enough to see Rory born and had then disappeared for almost three years. The first person to greet him upon his return was eighteen-year-old Livvie Guerin.
Even then, Jase had seen traces of Larissa in Livvie. It wasn’t surprising; Larissa had been Livvie’s companion, mother figure and almost sister for the majority of Livvie’s life and until Larissa’s death, but the first time that Livvie pressed her lips to Jase’s, the comparisons between Larissa, Livvie and what could have been died. Livvie had blossomed into a beautiful woman during Jase’s time away from Roswell. It had been a testament to Liz’s growing influence and Jase had found himself drawn to Livvie because of who she was, not because of the nuances of Larissa that intermittently sprang to the surface. He told her about his love for Larissa, showed her the exact spot in the desert where they had made love for the first time and broke down in front of her when the memories became too much for his heart to handle. She had kissed him then, and all memories of Larissa burrowed deep into his heart, Livvie eradicating him completely from the darkness of his life.
Jase smiled at Michael when he took Livvie’s hand from her father’s, Michael surprising him by pulling both he and Livvie into his arms. A small laugh rumbled through the crowd and when Michael released them to go to his seat beside Isabel, Maria Grace and Dylan, Jase saw how bloodshot and tear-stained Michael’s eyes were. “I know you’ll take care of her,” Michael whispered, Jase could only nod in response, his mind flashing back to the moment he had first discussed the idea of marriage with Michael the previous year.
“Livvie loves me and I want to marry her.”
“But do you love her,” Michael asked, his voice surprisingly calm given his typical reactions to matters of the heart. “And be honest.”
Jase looked at Michael, Michael’s words eerily reminiscent of the words Jase had asked Michael almost seven years earlier except Jase’s concern had been for his mother and Michael’s concern was for his daughter. Jase unconsciously wondered if asking Amy Valenti for permission to marry Larissa would have been this difficult. He shook his head and raised his face to look at Michael. “Yes. I love Livvie.”
“Then marry her,” Michael replied flippantly, a knowing smirk on his face, as he waved Jase away with his hand so he turn his attention back to the hockey match.
A tear streamed down Livvie’s cheek, Jase expertly catching it with his thumb and a collective female sigh echoed through the small chapel. He offered her his shy smile as they joined hands, Livvie eagerly returned his smile through her tears. “I, Olivia Guerin, take you Jason Parker to be my lawfully wedded husband. I promise to honor and cherish you through sickness and health until death do us part.”
“I, Jason Parker,” he began, quickly clearing his throat as emotion bubbled in his voice. “I, Jason Parker, take you Olivia Guerin to be my lawfully wedded wife. I promise to honor and cherish you through sickness and health until death do us part.”
Livvie clasp Jase’s left hand tightly, her hands shaking as she placed the simple silver wedding band on his third finger. Jase felt her sigh lightly as he took her matching silver band from Absalom’s extended pinky, gently sliding the tiny ring onto her slender fingers.
“What’s this,” Livvie asked as she traced her fingers across the Whirlwind Galaxy brand on Jase’s left shoulder. Her fingers danced down his shoulders as his cotton Oxford shirt fell onto the bed, her attention drawn back to his shoulder once the shirt left her fingertips. “Is it a birthmark?” She leaned close to him, her breath hitting the sensitive spot on Jase’s neck.
“It’s a brand,” he said, his hands resting on her waist, the hem of her shirt firmly in his fists. Her left hand dropped to his chest, Jase felt his body tense. He had brought her to Phoenix on the eve of her nineteenth birthday to ask her to marry him. He had wanted to get away from Roswell, from the memories good and bad that plagued him there. The proposal had not been the difficult part; Jase asked, Livvie accepted, the oblong onyx ring shone on her finger. The difficult part was now, the two of them kneeling on the queen-size bed, undressing each other. Jase was the more sexually experienced of the two having slept with both Larissa and Morgana but it was Livvie that had gotten them to this point. “Ab has one too. We branded each other in Clovis.”
“Do you have any other scars,” Livvie asked, her fingers trailing fire across Jase’s chest, Jase exhaling in response to the touch so unlike Larissa’s or Morgana’s. He felt her palms on his fists, her arms crossed over her chest as she pulled her shirt over her head, his hands firmly attached to its hem.
“What,” Jase asked, suddenly lost in Livvie’s hazel eyes. He cautiously placed one hand on her shoulder and one on her hip, his chest heaving and his heartbeat pounding in his ears.
“Other scars,” Livvie repeated, pressing her upper body against Jase’s. He jumped at the contact of the cool satin of her black bra against his chest, especially when Livvie’s skin felt just as hot as his. “Do you have other scars?” She bent her arms behind her back to the clasp of her bra and before Jase could blink, her fingers dipped below his belly button, between the button of his blue jeans and the waistband of his boxers.
“Only on the inside,” he whispered. He looped his fingers underneath her bra straps, slowly lowering them down Livvie’s arms, she matching his tempo as she unzipped his jeans. When Jase could pull them no farther, he guided his hands up her ribs, lost in the smoothness of her skin and the satin of her bra. He looked at Livvie before he pulled away the final barrier separating their chests, pushing her body inches away from his, allowing the bra to fall between them on the bed. “Are you....scared,” he choked, their bodies pressed firmly against one another. Jase dropped his face to her neck as his arms wound around her back, pulling her to him fully, allowing himself to memorize the feel of her body.
“No,” Livvie whispered as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, a smile appearing on her face.
“I am,” Jase admitted in a low voice just before pressing his lips to hers.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Jase blinked and stepped toward Livvie, his hands automatically on her waist while Livvie placed her hands on his shoulders, her face aglow with happiness. He quickly licked his lips then pulled Livvie into his arms and kissed her. “I love you, Livvie,” he whispered as they broke apart, his left arm pulling her tightly to his side.
“I know you do, Jase. I know.”
“I’d like to present Mr. and Mrs. Jason Parker. May God bless you.”
Jase smiled at the reverend, dropping his arm from Livvie’s waist and retrieving her hand as they began their journey toward the double doors. His mother would take a few photographs then everyone would get into their cars and go to the Crashdown for a small party. He squeezed Livvie’s hand as they passed Michael and Isabel’s pew. Capturing her chin with his right hand, he placed a tender kiss on Livvie’s cheek opposite the one Michael had just kissed. “Are you happy,” he questioned, the breeze from outdoors wafting through her veil.
“Yes.”
“Me too,” Jase replied, scooping Livvie into his arms once they were outside the church, her squeals echoing through the parking lot. “Me too.”
