Secrets in the Dark(AU,M/L,ADULT) Ch 33 - AN 08/31/04 [WIP]

[starlady]

~ Chapter 13c ~

“Liz, can I ask you something?” Max said taking advantage that everyone had scattered into all directions. Liz stood leaning against the railing looking out to the pool area where Emily sat on the edge of the pool talking to Maria and Sarah who were sunbathing, while Josh played in the water with Michael and Kyle. Sammy had gone down for a nap a little while ago and Alex was raiding Max’s kitchen.

“Sure” She said tuning to look at Max. She noticed he had been particularly quiet for a while and she wondered what caused his change in character. She found herself taking in his appearance. He looked so handsome. The blue khaki shorts showed just enough of his strong thighs to make her wish for more and the white t-shirt that clung to his torso made her recall all the flesh that had been on display this morning. His hair was long enough to have his bangs fall across his forehead, but still short enough to keep it neatly in place. She had always loved when he wore his hair like this. It made him look boyish and at the same time extremely sexy.

“Last night, I was a little shocked to take in a lot of what you told my parents” He started noticing her immediate discomfort on the topic “I was wondering what Emily knows about her paternity?”

Liz walked over to where Max had sat down. Sitting next to him, she responded, “She doesn’t know much. I never really talked about it. I guess… She never asked.”

“Why didn’t you tell her anything? You obviously went to great lengths to make us part of her life… Why didn’t you ever talk to her about Zan?” Max asked. He wasn’t trying to accuse her of cutting Zan out of Emily’s life but it was something that confused him and obviously was confusing Emily as well.

Liz took a deep breath. She knew this was eventually going to come. Max would hate her for not making his brother a presence in Emily’s life. “It’s not that I intentionally went about eliminating Zan from our life. It’s just… He was never in it…He… It’s difficult to explain”

Taking Liz’s hand in his he wrapped her arm around his and brought it up to his lips where he placed a small kiss on it. “Remember this morning when you told me it was difficult to talk about Zan because he was my brother?” Liz nodded and he continued, “Forget I’m Zan’s brother. Talk to me like I’m your friend. Just say it”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Having already devoured his share of the BBQ fare, Alex went off on a mission to marinate some meat to grill later on that evening. He felt great to be back in Roswell with friends and family. His parents had been overjoyed to see him yesterday. It had been awhile since he had visited and having him promise to stay for the summer made his parents ecstatic. Now in Max’s house, surrounded by his old friends, it felt like he had never left. He was lucky to have gotten, in the short time he had been with his company, in a position that let him work from home. It was a blessing really. When Emily relapsed he was able to fight Liz off of leaving her residency with the promise that he would stay with Emily when she couldn’t. He had been the first to cradle the child and the love he had for Emily was immeasurable. Alex knew his life was not something that most would choose but he was content, there was hardly any thing left for want. Hardly…

Alex knew it was easy to fall into the trap of domesticity. He live in a house with two women and two children. Both women shying away from love and all it’s entanglements and two children that were in need of a father in there lives. He just fit. He had dated a few times over the years but no one fit the bill, and there were very few women who understood his living arrangements and his commitment to Liz and Serena. They relied on him and he would never let them down.

After cutting all the spices and blending them in a bowl with a mixture of sauces, Alex grabbed a pack of pork chops from the freezer and set out to defrost and marinade them, when he heard a knock from the front door. Looking over to the deck he saw Max and Liz huddled together, Max held Liz’s hand in his and they seemed to be having a moment. Alex had no intentions of interrupting them. Wiping his hands on the apron he had put on earlier he walked towards the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Liz could still feel the softness of his lips on the back of her hand and the closeness of his body had her heart lodged in her throat. “It’s not that simple, Max”

“Why not?” He asked, “Just let it out. Liz, what are you afraid of?”

Liz took a deep breath and leaned into Max’s arm, resting her head on his shoulder “I’m afraid that you will think less of me. I’m afraid of losing your friendship, I’m afraid your reaction to everything that I do.”

Lifting his arm, he wrapped it around Liz’s shoulder and pulled her against his chest, “Why? Liz, you mean the world to me. My feelings for you have never changed and will never change.” He paused and then continued “It’s weird that you would say that because I have the same fear. So maybe we should stop being so afraid of the others reaction and just set everything out in the open?” He looked down at her and softly stroked her arm. With his other hand he pushed some strands of hair way from her face before lowering his lips onto her forehead.

Liz felt herself fall into a dazed state. She was so close to him, she loss all thought process. Looking up at him, she felt his breath caress her checks before he placed his lips onto her skin, burning the spot. She needed to get some space between them because she would not be able to say anything while he was this close. She carefully put her hand on his thigh and pushed some space between them before rising to her feet and taking a step away from him.

“Max, this morning I told you that I didn’t love Zan and that is true but it’s more than that. Over the years I realized I didn’t know Zan” Liz said trying to put her feelings for the father of her child into words.

“But you were with him for three years, you share a child together” Max asked confused

“No. I wasn’t with Zan for three years. I was with an illusion. I met him at a party and we started dating. He was never my friend. I never shared myself with him, well… except for the obvious way” Liz said looking out to the pool where Emily was now standing in front of Maria chatting away. “I kept feeding that illusion and I forced myself to deny what I knew was wrong. Zan’s death was a true wake up call. I didn’t react to his death how I was suppose to if I loved him the way I had convinced myself I did. I was forced out of the lie I had conjured up. I think deep down I was getting to a point where I knew it was ending but I just didn’t want to let go. It was my safe house. Anyway… I couldn’t talk to Em about Zan because I didn’t know him. What was there to tell her? What anecdotes did I have to share? At first she was too young and then she never asked so I kept putting it aside. I know it was wrong but I didn’t want to lie to her. Feed her stories of I man I never really knew. I just couldn’t”

Max got up and stood behind Liz and wrapped his arms around her shoulders pushing her against him. She lifted her hands and placed them on his arms, as she leaned back into him. “Do you hate me?” she asked “I feel like I used Zan and disregarded his feelings for me. Even if it wasn’t done consciously, I did use him at some level and I hate the way it makes me feel and I hate that I did that to your brother”

Max thought back to the conversation he had with Zan the day before he died,

“She doesn’t love me because she doesn’t know me. I’ve spent so much time trying to be who I wasn’t; I never gave her a chance to know who I was…..”

“Liz, Zan wasn’t a kid. He made his own choices and I can assure you he knew what he was doing while he was with you. I know you would never hurt anyone on purpose” Looking out to the pool Max asked, “What are you going to do about Emily?”

“I’m going to tell her. I want her to meet your parents. I’m hoping that between you and them, she will be able to get to know who was Zan.” Liz said

“You know they will want to meet her soon.” He said

“I know. I’m telling her this week.” Turning around to face Max, she said “I know I have no right to ask but I’m going to ask anyway… Would you talk to Emily if she has any questions about Zan? Your parents are so upset, I’m not very comfortable with their take on things right now, but you’ve been so great and Emily knows you as a friend, she trusts you. I trust you.”

‘She trusts you….’ Max thought. ‘How can she trust you when you haven’t been honest with her.’ Max took Liz’s hand and guided her over to the bench so she could sit down. Stooping down on one knee in front of her he said “First, I want to tell you that you can always count on me for anything, especially when it has to do with Emily.” Wiping the sweat from his hands on his shorts he took her hands in his again. “Liz, this morning, I was telling you something and I got interrupted. I really need to tell you this. I can’t accept your trust while I keep this from you.”

Liz nodded “Okay”

“You remember how I said that we needed to stop being afraid of the others reaction and just get things out in the open?” He paused a moment before continuing “Well, I’ve been keeping something from you for a very long time fearing your reaction. I should have told you as soon as it happened but I freaked out. I thought for sure you would hate me, never look at me the same way again and that thought terrorized me. It still scares me, but I have to get it out in the open. You need to know because it’s something that if left in the dark, eats away at you and I don’t want us to start off again with hidden truths. I want more, Liz. Now that you’re back I need to take a chance. I let ten years go by because I was afraid of taking the first step. I can’t risk another ten years. I’ll go crazy.”

Liz looked at Max with confusion in her eyes, her heart beating double time in her chest. She had no idea what Max was talking about and the thought that Max held a secret so big that it caused him to react this way, was frightening.

Max got up and pulled a chair from the patio furniture that decorated his deck. Sitting in front of Liz, he took a deep breath and continued his confession “Back when we were in high school, I had feelings for you….”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*

Opening the door, Alex froze. There in front of him stood the reason domesticity was so appealing to him. The reason why he made Liz and Serena his comfort zone. The reason for his dysfunctional love life. “Isabel…”

Isabel looked at the stranger that stood in her brother’s door. He seemed vaguely familiar. She burrowed her brows in concentration when she finally recognized him. “Alex? Alex Whitman?”

Alex smiled “Yeah. Wow, it’s been a long time”

Alex took in the sight before him. Isabel looked mature. She wore her hair short and the golden color had been replaced by a soft brown tone. Her skin still looked radiant and although she looked thinner she still kept her figure as beautiful as ever. Isabel Evans was the woman of his dreams and his nightmares. He always held a crush for her but she never knew he existed. It fed on his insecurities like mold on an old piece of bread. He never felt good enough for her and eventually that feeling of unworthiness had destroyed most of his relationships. He avoided dating because it was the safest way to avoid rejection.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked still in a state of shock

“Well, this is my brother’s house…. At least the last time I checked.” Isabel replied, a soft smile playing on her lips.

“Oh! Yeah, That’s right! I’m sorry” Alex answered feeling like a complete fool. “Come in.” He said as he stepped out of the doorway.

“Where have you been all these years? Max and you used to be pretty close back in high school.” Isabel asked stepping into the foyer and turning to address Alex. She took the opportunity to really look at the man that Alex had become. She noticed that the tall skinny, geek like boy had turned into a tall handsome man. Alex still wore his raven hair short but he seemed to have grown into his body. He had broad shoulders and his face was full. Although he wasn’t muscular he was not the boney boy that used to run after her like a puppy dog. He was definitely soft on the eyes.

“I live in Boston. I graduated from MIT a few years ago and work for a software company in Cambridge. How about you?” He asked as they walked back into the kitchen

“Oh, I work in social services. I work with families with dependent children. I try to help them get back on their feet and make sure the children are in the right environment.”

“Sounds like what Max does but with a spin” Alex commented as he stepped to the sink to wash his hands thoroughly.

“We actually work a lot with Max and the firm. They handle a lot of the cases of the more indigent. It gives them a fair chance against spouses that are better off than they are. So… Is there a Mrs. Whitman around?” Isabel asked wondering if Alex had been more successful at love than she had. Isabel had married six years ago just to have the marriage end in divorce after just four years. She was happy Jesse and her hadn’t rushed into having a family because it would have made the divorce more difficult. She had hoped he would become more family oriented after marriage but it turned out that Jesse needed an escort more than a wife. He was always working at the firm in hopes to make partner. When Max took his Bar Exam it just got worse. Jesse felt Max would automatically be up for the partnership, being Phillip’s son and he felt he had to work even harder to prove himself. This had caused great stress in their marriage. His days became longer and Isabel became more doubtful their marriage would survive. When she suggested marriage counseling after just three years, he refused saying there was nothing wrong with their marriage. A year later she requested the divorce. She felt like a failure in love but after talking to a counselor in her office, she realized that the failure was not hers alone and she started on the road to recovering from the fiasco that was her marriage.

“Nope. No Mrs. Whitman. No time to look, I’ve had my hands full with other projects. How about you? Are you still an Evans?” Alex asked feeling comfortable enough in the exchange to take the liberty of asking.

“I took another name a few years ago but it didn’t work out and I’m back to being an Evans” Isabel answered not wanting to get into details.

“Oh, sorry to hear that”

“Don’t be. I was young, had certain expectations and well… They weren’t very realistic” Isabel responded trying to justify her divorce.

“Still, I can’t imagine it being easy”

Silence ate at the air before Isabel broke its trance “So… Where’s Max?

“Oh. He’s grilling. Seems he has some type of get together on the weekends, so he invited us over” Alex said walking over to the French doors that led out to the deck.

Following Alex, Isabel commented, “That’s right! I forgot all about that. I hope I can drag him away for a bit, I really need to speak to him about some family stuff that popped up.” Stepping out onto the deck, Isabel froze in place when she saw Max talking quite intimately to the last person she thought she would see face to face. “You! What the hell are you doing here?” She said raising her voice in agitation.

Max turned around quickly to see who had, once again, interrupted him. “Isabel” He said getting up quickly when he saw the fire in his sister’s eyes. After last night, he knew that encounters between his family and Liz could easily get out of hand. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? What is she doing here? Don’t you know what she did to Mom and Dad? To us?” She responded not taking her eyes off of Liz who had stood up and was looking out at Maria to make sure the kids had not heard the loud voices.

Moving quickly past Max and Isabel, Liz said, “Maybe we need to take this into the house”

Noticing that this was turning into an encore of last night, Max quickly grabbed his sister by the arm and pulled her back into the house. “I think that’s a splendid idea” he said as Alex closed the French doors behind them.

“Let go of me! What has gotten into you?” Isabel yelled at her brother in frustration.

“Isabel, I have guests in my house and I don’t appreciate you making a scene!” He replied in a calm voice hoping Isabel would reply in the same manner.

No such luck.

“She’s your guest? After what she did to us? Wait a minute…” Looking at Alex and then at Liz, “You’re from Boston… You had been missing too… You’re with her!” She yelled at Alex “You just stood there talking to me like nothing was going on and all the while you were here with her! You helped her steal our niece away from us.”

“Isabel you need to calm down. No one stole anything.” Max said trying to reason with his hysterical sister.

“What do you call hiding the only thing that’s left of Zan? She took away Mom and Dad’s grandchild. She hid Zan’s daughter from her family” Isabel yelled pointing at Liz

“That’s not the way it is, Isabel and if you would calm down, maybe we could talk about it.” Max said trying to take Isabel’s arm so she would look at him. She had her eyes fixated on Liz and she was just getting more aggravated since Liz was not responding to any of her accusations.

Turning briskly to Max, Isabel said in a condescending tone “God, Max! She has you so wrapped up her web of lies you can’t see what’s right in front of you! Stop thinking with your dick and start seeing her for what she is!”

“ISABEL!” Max yelled, looking quickly over to Liz who was flabbergasted by Isabel’s outburst.

Alex walked quickly to stand beside Liz when he saw Isabel slip out of Max’s hold and walk straight up to her. “What is it Liz? Since Zan is dead you’re moving on to his brother?” Isabel spit out before Max could grab her again.

Liz took out her hand and with a quick spin slapped Isabel across the face. “You have no right to talk to me like that!” She said between gritted teeth. Max and Alex stood there frozen by the exchange but before anything could be said the French doors flew open and a pale Michael stood at the entrance.

“Liz! Something’s the matter with Emily!” He said out of breath

“What?” Liz said as she raced by him and ran out to the deck. Looking out to the pool she saw Emily sprawled out on the floor, Kyle leaning into her small body as Maria went into hysterics.

“She was singing and dancing one minute and the next she just passed out!” Michael informed Liz as she ran down the steps to the pool.

Turning to Alex she shouted “The car! It’s in the car!”

Alex immediately turned around and headed into to house. Isabel grabbed his arm before he went in.

“What’s happening?” she asked

“Let go!” he said as he tried to shove his arm out of her grasp

“No! What’s going on!” She demanded

“GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME!” He yelled shoving her back forcefully.

Isabel stood staring at Alex’s retreating figure with her mouth wide open. She turned to find she was alone on the deck, everyone had run to the pool, so she made her way down to see what was going on.

When Liz reached Emily’s side she accessed the situation. Emily laid on the ground unconscious, her lips turning blue and her body cold. She looked as if she had just drowned but she was dry.

“I’m so sorry Aunt Liz!” Josh cried as Liz covered Emily with a blanket that rested on the lounge chair “I told her not to do it but she just got louder and louder. I tried to get her to stop, I swear, I did.”

Liz leaned over and grabbed Josh by both his arms to make him look at her in the eyes, “This is NOT your fault! I need you to get our things together. Do you think you can do that?” Josh quickly nodded and grabbing his crutches he moved out of the circle of people.

“Liz, she’s breathing but she’s still turning blue around the mouth” Kyle informed Liz

At that moment Alex came rushing back with a small tank of oxygen with an even smaller mouthpiece attached to it.

Everyone stood back as Liz put the mouthpiece over Emily’s face while Alex massaged her extremities.

“Liz, has this happened before?” Max asked as he knelt down next to Liz. He dared to voice what everyone wanted to know. It’s not everyone that walks around with oxygen in his or her car.

“Emily has a condition where oxygen doesn’t flow well through her body. She’ll be alright, she just needs some help breathing, that’s all.” She responded trying to stay calm.

“Liz, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Maria sobbed, “She wanted to show me that Japanese song and dance routine. She kept on insisting and I just said it was okay. It was such a fast song and the words were just flying out of her. When she finished she passed out. Thank god Sarah was there and caught her on the way to the ground”

“It’s not your fault Maria, I should have said something before” Liz said trying to keep herself together.

After a few minutes of silence, the cough of an Angel made everyone sigh in relief.

“Em? Emily? Look at me…” Liz coached her daughter trying to get her to focus on her surroundings

Emily raised her eyes to look at her mother and realization hit her. Tears flooded her eyes as she let out a small wail “I’m sorry Momma! I… I’m sorry!”

Liz pulled her daughter into her arms and let the tears fall. “Shhhh… It’s okay. Don’t cry. Just breath…”

Max pushed Emily’s hair out of her small face. She looked so lost. It broke his heart. He looked over his shoulder and found Isabel standing off to the side. Her hand covering her mouth, trying to hold back the sob that accompanied the tears that streamed down her face. Turning back to Liz he placed his hand on her back for support before he asked, “Is she going to be alright?”

Liz nodded as she looked up at Alex “I think we need to go”

Alex immediately got up and took Emily out of Liz’s hold. He said nothing as he quickly stood up and walked towards the house with a frail Emily cradled in his arms.

“Liz, Please don’t go” Max said as Liz stood up and collected the small items that Josh had left behind.

“I need to go” Liz said

“Liz, do you think you should take Emily into the hospital to get her checked out” Kyle said, concern written all over his face

“No, everything is fine. She just needs rest” Liz said as she headed to the house.

“You can lay her down here. Please, Liz. Don’t go.” Max pleaded following her closely while everyone stood trying to make sense of what just happened.

Liz turned to look at Max when she reached the deck. He looked so desperate. “Max, I’m not going to disappear. I’m going home. Please, talk to Isabel about Emily. She needs to understand things.” Grabbing hold of his hand she brought him close to her and placed a soft kiss on his check. Stepping back, she said “I’ll call you. I promise. We still have a conversation to finish, right?”

“Yes” Max said

“So, please take care of things here. I can’t have Emily walking into a family feud. Do you understand?” Liz asked with a soft look in her eyes.

Max nodded. Emily was in a fragile state right now and Isabel had not shown the best restraint a little while ago. Liz needed to get Emily away from any excitement. “Please call me. We need to finish our talk.”

Liz nodded and with a quick glance out to her friends, she turned and walked away.

TBC...

[starlady]

~ Chapter 14 ~

“Martha, Edward Ross in room 415 needs some blood work done. I put my specifications on his chart. Could you see to it that it gets to the lab? It has a priority request attached to it.” Liz told the middle-aged nurse that was assigned to one of the pediatric stations.

“Yes, Dr. Parker”

“Thank you” Liz said. She knew that many doctors didn’t acknowledge the work the nurses did and therefore Liz always made it a point to treat her nurses, as she would like to be treated, with respect.

“Liz?”

Liz turned to see Kyle walking up to her. “Kyle? What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing but your scrubs tell me that you are working here” Kyle said, “I’m a contractor for the hospital. I work with about 20% of their cases.”

“Wow, that’s great! So, I’m going to be bumping into you often, huh?” Liz said with a smile. It would be nice to see a familiar face at work. Her work as resident demanded long hours and the days sometimes dragged on forever.

“Hope that’s not a problem” Kyle replied with a sideways glance trying to access the tone of her earlier comment.

“Don’t be foolish! It will be great having a familiar face around! I just put my last one to bed, would you like to get a coffee?” Liz offered handing the chart she had in her hands to a nurse.

“Love to! I just came by to check up on Sally in 442. She fell off her horse and it really did a number on her leg and shoulder” Kyle explained

“Ah! Cute little blond?” Liz said trying to remember the injuries of the 13 year old that was in that room.

“That’s her! Good kid. She was hoping to tryout for cheerleading this coming school year so she’s working really hard. Maybe too hard” Kyle said recalling the earlier session he had with the girl “By the way, I have something in the car for Josh and Emily”

Liz smiled “You didn’t have to get them anything.”

“I know but I saw how Josh was really excited about the new Ninja Scroll game that we have at Max’s and I thought he would like one of his own. Since I was at the shop getting something for Josh I thought it fair to get something for Emily as well. Those kids grow on you, fast!” Kyle said smiling at Liz as they reached the cafeteria.

“I’m happy you got to meet them. They are quite a pair.” Liz said grabbing a mug and filling it with coffee.

“How is Emily?” Kyle ventured to ask

“She’s fine. It’s not the first time it’s happened and well we tend to be prepared” Liz said trying to dismiss the incident so Kyle wouldn’t ask any further questions.

Kyle paid for his coffee and walked over to a table close to the windows that looked out to a inner courtyard. “Liz, I don’t mean to be a meddling jerk, I know we were never really close in high school and all but I need to tell you that I know what’s ailing Emily. I’ve been around the oncology dept enough to know the symptoms.” Looking up to ascertain Liz’s reaction he continued “the way you and Alex worked together, the way it happened, the bruises I caught sight of… I just want you to know you can talk to me.

Liz sat in front of Kyle with her mouth open. She had never expected anyone to figure out Emily’s illness by just that episode and yet here was Kyle telling her that HE knew, ‘Maybe he doesn’t really know’ Liz thought. “What do you think you know?” Liz asked trying not to express her rising panic. She knew eventually everyone would know but she had wanted to tell them herself.

Kyle looked at her and lowered his eyes to the coffee in his hands. “I’m sorry Liz, I overstepped my bounds”

“No… Tell me. What do you think you know?” Liz insisted

“I know you were truthful in telling us that Emily has a condition where oxygen doesn’t flow well through her body. I think that what you failed to mention was that it was just a symptom of something bigger. I think that it’s not a coincidence that her best friend is a juvenile cancer survivor. I think that the bruises that were on her lower back and calf are just another symptom of her illness and I think you’re being foolish in thinking that I’d tell anyone when it’s obvious you don’t care to share Emily’s illness with anyone”

Liz looked at Kyle and knew that there was no hiding it. He definitely knew. “She has MDS. She’s getting supportive care right now.”

“I’m sorry.” Kyle said. Deep down he had hope he was wrong and to have Liz confirm his thoughts was disturbing.

“She was originally diagnosed when she was five. Josh was her roommate. Serena and I just kicked it off. She was a single parent as I was and it seemed our children shared the same fate. We needed each other and after the kids went into remission, Serena and Josh became a permanent fixture in our lives.” Liz started to say, “Emily has fallen out of remission twice. This last time her doctors gave her round of chemo but all they did was stabilize her enough to go on with supportive care. We were scheduled to go up to Albuquerque every two weeks for transfusions but with yesterday’s incident we decided to take her up today to have her checked out. Alex took her this morning.”

“Are you going to tell them?” Kyle asked

Liz knew exactly whom he was talking about. “Yes. I just wanted them to meet her first. I didn’t want them to see her as this sick kid. Emily is so much more than her disease.”

“That’s obvious!” Kyle smiled recalling the looks he got from her when they were playing. “I don’t think she likes me very much”

“Nonsense! Why would you say that?” Liz asked confused. She had thought they got along great.

“Well, when we were playing with the playstation, we were acting a little too… hmm... How can I put this… a little too much like guys and I think Emily didn’t like us too much”

“Emily was just jealous. It’s usually just Josh and her against Alex. She tends to get a little jealous when Josh finds other male friends. He is very reserved and I had never seen him so comfortable around other people as I saw yesterday. He really took to you and Michael”

“He’s a good kid.” Kyle said, “So, Emily is going to be treated in Albuquerque?”

“Yeah…” Liz sighed. Raising her eyes to look at Kyle “We’re down to the wire. I need to find her a donor…”

“Is that why you came back?” Kyle asked

“You know, that’s another reason why I am waiting to tell everyone. I don’t want everyone to think that was the only reason I returned. Use ‘em and Lose ‘em type of deal” Liz took a deep breath and continued “This situation just prompted my return sooner. I wanted to finish my residency before returning but I… Emily couldn’t wait.”

“You need to tell them. Soon. Real Soon.” Kyle said. He had been friends with the gang for over 9 years now and he had a good idea how they all thought. He knew that they would feel betrayed, yet again, to find out Liz had kept something this big from them.

“I talked to Alex about it last night. I’m telling them this coming weekend.” Liz assured Kyle. They had thought of doing it during the week but with her starting to work, their schedule was dictated by the hospital. The first full day she would have off was Sunday. “You know, Kyle, It would be great if you could be there. It would help to have someone there that’s familiar with the illness. I mean, if you feel comfortable about it.”

“I… Um… Do YOU feel comfortable having me there? I mean we’ve never been close or anything and these are your closest friends and family” Kyle asked floored that Liz would ask him in the first place.

Extending her hand to cover his, Liz said “Kyle, they consider you one of their closest friends. I trust their judgment in people. By default, you have now become one of my closest friends. You are very welcome to come. As I said, it would be actually quite helpful.”

Kyle felt a little awkward but accepted the invitation.

“Here is my address.” Liz said handing him a small piece of paper “I’m going to be held prisoner here for most of the week, maybe we can have lunch sometime?”

“That would be nice.” Kyle said getting up from the table. They had been talking for a while and he needed to get to the local school to do his rounds through the athletic teams. Amongst other things, Kyle made sure the kids used the proper gear and he gave them talks on proper exercise to avoid injuries. The kids at the school came to see him as a second coach. They really looked up to him, which was something Kyle was very proud of. Being able to spend time with the kids was one of the reasons he had opened his own practice a few years ago. He wanted to be able to do more for the community. Turning to Liz before he left, Kyle said “Liz, call Max. He was kind of freaked out last night after you left.”

“Um… Sure. I told him I would call but I need to call Maria to get his number. You wouldn’t happen to have it by chance?” Liz asked hopefully. Yesterday had not ended as she had hoped and the last thing on her mind was asking Max for his phone number.

“Here,” Kyle said, leaning on the table and scribbling out several phone numbers on a napkin “he’s probably in the office now, so I added that number as well.” handing her the napkin, he continued “They really missed you Liz. Be careful. I would hate to see either of them hurt.”

“I would never intentionally do that,” Liz said

Kyle smiled at her “Let me go to the car and get you those games for the kids”

“You know… Josh is at the Crashdown and he should be bored out of his mind. Do you have time to drop them off? I’m sure he would really like the conversation.” Liz asked

“Um…” Kyle thought of his schedule a moment and then decided that these were the days he was happy he was self-employed. “You know, that sounds like a good idea. Thanks Liz.”

“Thank YOU, Kyle.” Liz said before turning to head down the corridor back to the pediatric wing.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was a little over two hours later that Liz found another short break between patients. She quickly closed the door to the office that had been assigned to her earlier that day. She had made a mental note to bring in some personal effects to make the cold office reflect more of her own personality. It was a small office but it was more than what she got at the hospital in Boston and she knew she was going to be spending a lot of time here. Liz wanted to make the office more of a home away from home.

Quickly retrieving the napkin she had safeguarded in her pocket, she dialed the number to Max’s office.

“Evans & Associates, How can I direct your call?” A voice said.

“May I speak to Max Evans?” Liz asked

“Do you have an appointment with Mr. Evans?” Was the response

“Um, no. I told him I would call but… This is a personal matter.” Liz said straightening up and making sure she sounded more self-assured

“Who may I say is calling?”

“Dr. Elizabeth Parker” Liz said, hoping the doctor title would get her through the door.

“Please, hold”

Liz sat there listening to the sax of Kenny G for what seemed like an eternity, when she finally heard a click on the line.

“Liz?” Max said in a voice that clearly showed he was out of breath

“Max?” Liz asked

“Yeah.” He said sitting at his desk. Max had been in the archive room trying to gather some telephone records he needed for a case when his secretary had informed him of the call. He had run to his office to answer the call and was still slightly out of breath.

“Oh, thank goodness. I thought for sure I wouldn’t get through. Your secretary sounds more like a warden.” She said as a small smile danced over her lips

“So, it’s Dr. Elizabeth now? Or was that just to get you through?” Max teased

“Well, a girl has to do what a girl has to do!” Liz replied

“Liz, you don’t have to resort to that. You always are master to my attention” Max said flirtatiously

“I’m happy to hear that, but now, could you inform Mrs. Warden the secretary?” Liz laughed

Her laughter tickled his soul as he imagined her smile and the light in her eyes. “I’ll make sure she knows… How are you?”

“I’m fine. Thank you. And you?” she asked

“Better now that you called” He said

Was he flirting with her? She asked herself. She had never known Max to be so forward and was quite taken aback. Then she remembered their unfinished conversation and the few words he had actually gotten to say ‘I had feelings for you….’ Liz wondered what was to follow those words. “I did promise, didn’t I?” she replied softly.

“Yes, you did.” Max sighed, “How’s Emily?” Max said after a long moment of silence.

“She’s fine. Thanks for asking. Um, that’s one of the reasons I called” Liz said brought back to reality

“So you didn’t call to hear my voice?” Max said playfully. He was happy Emily was doing well. He had been beside himself with worry the day before and to hear Liz tell him that Emily was better soothed away some of his concerns.

“Well… yes, but your voice is not enough. I need to see you” She said following his lead.

“Whenever and wherever!” Max continued teasing, wondering where he had gotten the nerve to say half of the things that were flying out of his mouth.

“Max, your terrible!” Liz said completely flushed in embarrassment, “I was hoping you could come by the house on Sunday”

“That’s almost a week away!” Max said dejected

“I’m sorry. I’m just really up to my neck in work.” Liz said “My first real break isn’t until Friday where I’ll have a nights rest and then I don’t have to come in until 2 the next day. But I have to work until 11 on Saturday before I get Sunday and Monday off. Did that make sense?” Liz asked a little confused herself.

“Yeah. Basically you have a breather on Friday but your not free until Sunday.” Max clarified

“Damn, your good.” Liz said laughing

“You haven’t seen me at my best yet” Max said, taking every opening he could get to throw a flirt her way. “What do you want to do on Sunday?”

“Actually, I’m having everyone over. I hope your parents can come, as well as Isabel.” She said seriously.

Max straightened in his seat. “Is this about Emily? Um, I’m sure they can come over on Sunday.”

“Good. Yes. I need to talk to everyone about Emily and some things I want everyone to know.” Liz said dancing around the issue.

“Can we talk before then? Lunch? A quick Dinner?” Max asked hoping to get some alone time to finish his talk with Liz.

Liz wanted to see Max before Sunday but her schedule was so difficult and the little time she had free she needed to spend at home with the kids so Alex could get a break. “I squeeze in lunch when I can and the day I have free for dinner I really need to spend it with the kids. Do you mind spending the evening at home? You could come around Friday… If you want… Um… I’ll probably be dead tired but I would love it if you came by”

Max took just a moment to think about her proposition. “Yes! I would love to come by. I’ll look forward to it.” Yeah, he wouldn’t be able to finish his talk with Liz but he would still be able to be with her and he would take anything she allowed. Deep down, Max also wanted to see Emily again. Even thought Liz assured him she was fine he was still concerned for her. The child had pulled a tight rope around his heart and was tugging at it with all her might. Thinking about his talk with Liz and how he really needed to talk to her about what had happened between them so many years ago, he ventured to ask for even more time. “You said you got out Saturday and were free for a couple of days? How about I pick you up after work on Saturday and we can have dinner?”

“I’d love to but I get out at 11:00 at night” Liz said

“Oh, yeah. You said that. Well, hopefully you’ve eaten by then but can I still pick you up? I just really want to finish our conversation. I swear I’ll have you home by midnight.” Max asked desperately.

Liz knew that whatever he wanted to tell her was very important to him. He had started this conversation twice already. It was only fair that she allow him to finish it. “OK” she agreed.

“Wonderful!” Max said. He was ecstatic. In less than 20 minutes he had gotten two dates out of Liz. Well… They weren’t really dates but he could pretend “So where are you staying”

Liz told him how to get to her rental and agreed to have Max bring over Chinese food and a movie for the evening before she bid him farewell.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Entering the Crashdown, Kyle looked around to see if he saw Josh in any of the booths.

“Good Afternoon, Kyle. Nice to see you around.” Jeff Parker said surprised to see Kyle in the restaurant. Kyle was not keen on fast food and rarely dropped by with out a purpose and the way he was looking at the booths told Jeff, Kyle was there for a reason.

“Hi, Mr. Parker. I bumped in to Liz at the hospital today and she told me I might find Josh here.”

Jeff smiled. Right once again! “He’s in the alley shooting some hoops. Why don’t you go on through the backroom”

“Thanks!” Kyle said walking through the swinging doors in the back of the restaurant.

Kyle opened the door that led to the alley. He didn’t know there was ever a hoop in the alley, but then again this was not his usual hang out place. The basketball hoop was prominently displayed attached to the side wall. It seemed that the end of the alley opened up to a circular area, almost like a cull de sac. From the street you would never notice the area, which gave it even more privacy. At first Kyle didn’t see Josh but after a few seconds, he heard the soft pounding of a ball on the concrete ground. Walking a little further away from the door, Kyle found Josh seated on the floor next to one of the dumpsters, just bouncing the ball off the ground.

“Hey, you!” Kyle said

Josh looked up in surprise “Mr. Valenti! What are you doing here?” He said trying to get his footing to stand up.

“Sit, sit.” Kyle said trying to avoid bothering the young lad. “And you better call me Kyle because there already are two Mr. Valenti’s in this town. My grandpa and my father. It doesn’t need another”

Josh smiled.

“So, What ‘cha doing?” Kyle asked sitting next to Josh

“Nothing” Josh answered quietly

“Looks like you were doing something” Kyle said grabbing the basketball out of Josh’s hands “Shooting hoops maybe?”

“Um…. I just found the ball in the backroom and Mr. Parker said there was a hoop back here” Josh replied “I really don’t know how to play… I… I had never tried”

“Hey, I was never good at the sport either. I went with football when I was in school. Nothing better than to get permission to pummel your classmates” Kyle said with a smirk

Josh chuckled. “I can’t really do any sports” he said seriously.

“Well, I hear that’s not true. The way I hear it, you give Liz quite a run for her money jogging in the mornings” Kyle said recalling how Max had told him about Josh’s ability to run.

“That’s nothing,” Josh said dismissing the compliment.

“What do you mean nothing? Give yourself the credit you deserve. Not everyone can run and not everyone can do it as well as you” Kyle responded.

Josh stayed quiet.

“I got you something” Kyle said pulling the small bag out from the inside pocket of his jacket. Placing it between them he put up a challenge. “It’s a PSA game like the one we were playing at Max’s yesterday. But I’m hoping we can sink ten shots at that hoop before I give it to you.”

Josh looked at Kyle with eyes full of anger, “I can’t believe you’d do that! I just told you I suck at the game and now you dangle a game in front of my face just to take it away. Keep the game!” Josh spit out as he started to stand.

“Hey, Hey!” Kyle said grabbing on to Josh before he left “I didn’t say I wasn’t going to give you the game. The game is yours whether you take the shots or not. I just thought we could work on your shot together. You’ll never learn to play unless you practice and I could definitely use the practice myself. Ten shots in the hoop is all I’m up for though. I am getting old.” Kyle smiled hoping Josh would reconsider leaving. He hadn’t expected Josh to react the way he did. The child seemed so comfortable with himself.

“I can have the game, regardless?” Josh asked skeptically

“Yup.” Kyle replied

A few moments passed in silence while Josh weighed the offer

“Do you know how to play?” Josh asked, as if measuring up the competition.

“I’m not an expert but I’ve played enough to get my butt kicked by Max several times” Kyle admitted

Another moment of silence passed between them.

“Okay” Josh finally conceded, grabbing the basketball out of Kyle’s hand and running over to the hoop.

Kyle got up off the ground feeling quite content with spending the next few hours in the company of an exceptional child.

TBC...

[starlady]

~ Chapter 15 ~

Max stood nervously in front of the door to Liz’s house. He had been counting the days until Friday since he had spoken to her and now that it had arrived he felt all his anxieties pop up. He didn’t know why he felt that way. It was as if being in her presence made him feel like a teenager all over again and it was not a time in his life he really wished to relive. What was even weirder was that it was all in anticipation to seeing her, because when she was around she seemed to calm him. Well… Calm him of the anxieties of an 18 year old. He was then left with the insecurities of a 28 year old and the stuttering of a 28 year old and let’s not forget, the horniness of a 28 year old. Yeah… he was a mess regardless of the age.

Knocking at the door he heard a shrill of excitement come barreling down what he could only assume was a hallway, based on the way the voices carried. A few seconds later the door swung open and he felt Emily throw herself at him.

“Uncle Max! You’re here!” Emily yelled as she hugged Max’s waist.

“Hi beautiful!” Max said bending down to lift her into his arms. It still floored him how tiny she was for a nine year old.

“Emily Marie! Stop the running and let the man in! Especially since he comes bearing our next meal!” Alex said taking the shopping bag that held the food out of Max’s hands so he could support Emily better. Extending his hand, he addressed Max “Hi Max. It’s great to see you again”

Max smiled at Alex and shook his friends hand. “Thanks for having me over”

Closing the door behind Max, Alex took the opportunity to tease his friend “Well, you know I really didn’t want to have you over but Liz insisted, and since you were bringing Chinese I thought I could put up with you for a night”

“Uncle Lala! That’s mean!” Emily said not understanding the sarcasm in Alex’s words.

“Don’t worry Emily, It’s not like I came here to see him.” Max teased brushing his nose against hers.

“Who did you come to see?” Emily asked hopefully

“Why, the beautiful women of this household of course!” Max replied as he followed Alex down a short hallway and entered a huge open floor design home.

Max took in his surroundings and was surprised at how big the house looked. From the outside the house seemed small. It had a two-car garage but it had a small porch that led to the front door. The inside of the house was another story. The open-floor plan made the house look very spacious. The entrance was a short hallway that led to the main part of the house. To his immediate right was the bar to the kitchen area. Instead of counter space under the raised bar area, it held the sink, so whoever was washing the dishes was facing the people sitting in the bar stools. In back of the sink there was a small island made of butcher block. Against the wall shared with the hallway were the refrigerator and some cabinets. Opposite the huge appliance was a long counter that held a black top stove with a microwave oven above it. The cabinets that adorned the walls where of a cherry color and it gave the kitchen a homey look. The last wall of the kitchen was the one facing the porch of the house and it had two large windows that lit up the whole area.

Turning toward the rest of the house, Max saw that the house had cathedral ceilings, which gave more to the sense of openness. Another hallway and a large staircase was found to the left of the huge area. The kitchen bar stools were next to a wicker dining room set and looking beyond the dining area he could see the family / living room were Josh sat on a overstuffed arm chair.

“Hi Josh.” Max said waving at the boy that seemed mesmerized by a handheld electronic game.

Looking up from his Gameboy Advance, Josh smiled “Hey, Uncle Max!” he offered before bringing his eyes back to the small screen in his hands.

“Nice place you have here” Max said turning to Alex.

“Yeah, it was perfect. Down that hallway is my room and Liz, Serena and the kids sleep upstairs.” Alex said as he pulled Max, who still held Emily in his arms, more into the house, as if to show him something. After they passed the dinning area and the stairs, Alex turned Max to face the entrance of the house. Max now could see the hallway of the second floor, which was open to the Living room area. The layout of the house was quite marvelous. “It’s great to keep tabs on the kids, there’s no place to hide” Alex said with a smirk as he pinched Emily’s nose.

“Got that right,” Emily said somberly as she wiggled out of Max’s arms and moved to the living room sitting amongst a pile of books and a bunch of CDs.

Max smiled and moved to follow Alex back to the kitchen area. “So, where’s Liz?” he asked

“She got off around 5 and fell asleep. She just woke up a little before you got here and so she jumped in the shower. She should be down in a bit” Alex informed Max as he pulled out some paper plates and utensils from one of the cabinets.

Taking advantage that they were alone Max said “Hey, Alex. I wanted to apologize for what happened in my house on Sunday. Isabel was really out of line.”

Alex continued to setup dinner as he responded “Max, man. Don’t apologize for something you didn’t do. You were a great host. You can’t control what your guests do. Anyway, I don’t blame her. She was a little harsh but I... I don’t know… it’s a tough situation”

“Yeah… I talked to her and she‘s just really confused right now.” Max said

“How are your parents dealing?” Alex asked leaning against the counter to give Max his full attention

“They’re better. I think they have absorbed it and are ready to be grandparents. She’s just such a great kid…” Max said looking out towards the kids. “They both are.”

“Yeah… They are.” Alex agreed following Max’s gaze “I hope all goes well on Sunday” he said nonchalantly.

Max turned to look at Alex who had a far off look on his face. “Yeah. What’s this big get together all about? Maria told me she was coming over as well. I thought the meeting was just to talk to my family? You know… about Emily.”

Alex looked like a deer caught in headlights. “Um… Well… I think Liz needs to tell you about the meeting. I… I don’t think it’s my place.” He responded moving about the kitchen trying to find anything to do so he wouldn’t have to look at Max.

Max took in Alex’s reaction and concern marred his features. “Okay… I… I guess I’ll ask her”

“Yeah! That’s a good idea.” Alex said breathing a sigh of relief that Max didn’t push the question “Um, I was in the middle of printing some work out. Do you mind if I run in to finish that? Liz should be down any minute now. I just have a deadline for tomorrow and as it seems I’m going to have to forgo the movie time for some crunch time at my workstation.”

“Sure, go ahead. I’ll hang with the kids for a bit”, Max said looking to the living room.

“Thanks man!” Alex said slapping Max on the back before disappearing into the hallway next to the staircase.

Max walked over to the living room and sat on the sofa. Josh still retained his original position, lying on the armchair to Max’s left with his feet dangling off the side of the chair, a look of concentration on his face as he pushed small buttons on his game. Emily sat on the floor with her books laid out on the coffee table and earplugs blaring some song in her ears.

Max looked more closely at what Emily was reading, “So, you like comics?” He asked her

“Manga”

Max knew Emily had not answered since she probably couldn’t hear him over the music coming through her CD player. Looking up at Josh, Max noticed he hadn’t moved either.

“Did you say something?” Max asked Josh

Not flinching a muscle, Josh said “Manga”

“What?” Max asked again, clueless to what that one word meant and why Josh kept repeating it.

Josh lowered his game exasperated and looked at Max “Manga, she’s reading mangas not comics. DC and Marvel put out comics. Tokyo Pop and Clamp, they put out mangas”

“Oh!” Max looked back at Emily “Is that why she’s reading them backwards?”

Josh smiled and shook his head slightly “Uncle Max, Japanese books are read from right to left.”

Leaning in to look at the book more closely, Max commented “But, the books are in English”

“Real manga is written in the Japanese style and so it’s written to be read from right to left. If not it would just be a cheap translation” Josh clarified

“I see.” Max said still a bit confused

“Just don’t let her catch you calling it a comic” Josh warned

“Gotcha! So Josh, How have you been?” Max asked trying to make conversation

“Good. Kyle got me a copy of that game you have. He taught me how to play basket ball too.”

“You like playing?” Max asked

“I had never really tried. I couldn’t really move right in the court” he said patting his leg “so I kinda stayed away from it. Kyle showed me how to distribute my weight better so my leg will move better in the quick turns. Now I can jump and play good” Josh said proudly

Max was really happy that Kyle took time to help Josh. “So when are we going to play?”

“Kyle says you’re brutal. I don’t think I’m ready for that” Josh responded honestly

“Who? Max? Brutal? I’ve kicked his butt a few times on the court,” said a voice from behind them.

Max stood and turned to see Liz walking towards them and his breath caught in his throat. She wore a pair of gray sweatpants that barely hung from her hips. The blue tank top she wore, not only revealed she had no bra on, but also had rode up her midriff when she raised her arms to pull her hair out of the towel she had twisted on her head. She looked completely relaxed and… edible. Max face flushed as he saw the expanse of skin revealed before him and he was very happy he had decided not to tuck in his shirt. He stood there mesmerized as her wet hair fell out of the towel and the room suddenly filled with the scent of strawberries. Max let out a soft sigh.

“Max? Are you okay?” Liz asked feeling a little self conscious with the way he was looking at her.

“Y… Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t expect to see you there” He stuttered out.

Emily who pulled out of her reading, looked over at Josh and they both raised their eyebrows, taking in the scene in front of them.

“…And you won ONE game against me, when I was sick!” Max continued trying to cover up his ogling from earlier.

“Um humm… Whatever you say Max.” Liz teased; turning to the kids as she combed out her hair, Liz asked, “Where’s uncle Lala?”

“He’s in his room. He had to finish that thing he has to hand in tomorrow” Josh responded

“Okay. I’ll go get him. You two get ready for dinner” Liz turned to Max who was once again staring at her “I’m sorry I took so long. I’ll get Alex so we can eat”

Max smiled and nodded in acknowledgment. He watched Liz turn and head toward the hallway that led to Alex’s room. That’s when his jaw dropped. There, on the seat of her pants, printed in navy blue, were the words, Just Do it! Max’s eyes became glued to the words and continued to stare in the direction she walked long after she was no longer visible.

“Uncle Lala got them for her last mother’s day” Josh said as if he knew exactly what Max was staring at.

Max turned and looked at the kids, who seemed riveted by his reaction “What did he get her?” Max asked innocently.

“The sweats” Josh answered gesturing with a small flick of his head toward the direction Liz had gone.

“Oh!” Max said turning again to look toward the hallway “They’re… nice…”

Emily and Josh exchanged another look before Emily asked “Uncle Max. Are you Hentai?”

Max turned to look at the kids again. “What?”

“You know, hentai?” She reiterated

Max stared at Emily for another second before turning to Josh, who seemed to be expecting a response as well. Shacking his head he shrugged, hoping Josh would help him out.

“Perv” was all Josh said

“Perv what?” Max asked still completely lost

Josh sighed in resignation “A Pervert! A Sexual deviant! A womanizing predator!”

Max fell back onto the sofa in shock, staring at the 11 year old with wide eyes “WHAT? Where did you hear such a thing? Do you even know what that means?” looking at Emily who still appeared to be waiting for an answer, he quickly responded “NO! Of Course Not!”

“I didn’t think so” she said nodding her head in affirmation “but you never know these days…”

“Okay guys! Let’s chow!” Alex yelled walking into the living area as he clapped his hands together to get their attention.

The kids scrambled to pick up their belongings and ran down the hallway to wash up, leaving a very stunned and open mouthed Max in their wake.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dinner was full of chit chat and laughter as the kids tried to teach Max to eat with chopsticks and Liz told him tales of all the oriental restaurants she had been forced to visit while in Boston. Alex told him about the day they had gone in search of a bookstore on Commonwealth Ave which they thought sold translated Japanese books only to find, after an hour of walking in frigid temperatures, that all the books in the ‘Japanese’ bookstore where in JAPANESE! Figure that out!

After dinner Alex excused himself, letting Max know that he had work he really needed to finish so he could upload it to the central office tomorrow morning.

Everyone else moved to the living room to watch the movies Max had brought with him. Josh sat on the floor with his back leaned against the sofa, while Emily crawled onto Liz’s lap as soon as she sat down.
Max sat on the other end of the sofa just as Redwall started playing.

“You know, this movie is based on a book, serialized by Brian Jaques,” Max said, trying to give them some background as to why he had chosen the movie. “I used to read them when I was younger”
“I have most of them in paperback. He came to Harvard Square for a book signing and I got his last book autographed when Mom took me.” Josh responded plopping a kernel of popcorn into his mouth. “It’s about time they made a movie about it. I couldn’t see it when it came out in the theaters but I heard it was cool.” Looking up at Max he added, “Thanks for bringing it”

“Sure.” Max replied, “I’m just happy I got something you hadn’t seen”

“Shhh…” Emily hissed annoyed at all the talking going on while she was trying to watch a movie

Max turned to look at Liz, who had brought up her legs and now was leaning against the armrest of the sofa with Emily lying on her chest. Liz was caressing her daughter’s hair, softly touching strands of hair from the root of her head to the end of the tress. It was a motion that seemed to be lulling Emily to sleep. Upon closer observation he noticed how Emily was sucking on two of her middle fingers. He thought for a moment that she was a bit old for the habit, but then remembered how his parents teased Isabel for sucking her thumb until she was twelve. He smiled at the memory and looked up to catch Liz looking at him.

His soft eyes kept searching for her and she felt wrapped in a warm blanket every time he looked at her. He looked as gorgeous as ever with the dark blue button down shirt he wore over his faded jeans. His hair fell over his forehead and his face sported a light shadow where he shaved. He had his arm resting over the back of the sofa, almost as an invitation to her. She noticed his chest looked wider in that position, if that was at all possible. She recalled last weekend when she saw him after running and his chest was bare to her. Unconsciously, Liz licked her lips at the thought. As he caught her staring at him, she brought her eyes to a safer subject, her daughter, who lay across her chest as most nights. Liz bent down just a bit and placed a kiss on Emily’s head. Emily looked up at Liz and smiled before returning her attention to the movie.

It had been a good day. Exhausting but good. Having Max here made it even better. Looking back at Max she smiled at him, extending her hand in offering. When he took it, she said, “Thanks for coming, Max”

As he caressed the top of her hand with his thumb, he answered, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else”


When the movie ended, Josh slowly stood up and looked at the sofa “Girls” he humfed out

Max looked over to find Liz and Emily had fallen asleep. “We shouldn’t wake them”

Josh nodded “I’ll get Uncle Lala. He’ll take them upstairs”

“No. Don’t bother him. Just tell me where to go and I’ll take them.” Max said before Josh could moved to get Alex.

“Okay. Emily crashes with me in the middle room” Josh said pointing to one of the doors that could be seen on the second floor. “Aunt Liz is in the room on the end”

Max nodded and bent down to pick up Emily first. Liz stirred a bit at having the weight of her daughter lifted off of her but settled back into a restful sleep.

Walking up the stairs, Josh quietly opened the door to his room to let Max come in with a sleeping Emily cradled in his arms. Max could smell the sweet scent of innocence on the child and he held her a little tighter to him. As he walked into the room he noticed the bunk bed on the right side of the room. There were a few milk crates stacked against the left side of the room as well as a small desk littered with papers. In the center of the wall opposite to the door was, what appeared to be, a small alcove leading to the only window in the room. There were several pillows thrown about and at the far end of the small space was a window seat. It looked like the picture perfect place for a little girl to hide. Max immediately knew that space was for Emily, what Liz’s balcony was for Liz. He smiled at the thought.

As he stood in front of the bed Max turned to Josh, “Which one?”

Josh pointed at the bottom bunk. Moving quietly, Max placed Emily on the bed. Josh immediately went about removing her socks and pulling a comforter over her. Max was surprised at the way Josh knew exactly what to do. It was almost as if he was there to serve Emily, as if his presence in the room was not just a matter of limited house space but more a matter of protectiveness over the small child. It was then that Max noticed the small tank of oxygen that stood tall next to the bed. Max frowned.

“Josh?” Max said to get Josh’s attention. “Is that for Emily?” he asked when Josh turned to look at him.

“Yeah” he replied matter of factly

Max nodded as he continued to look around the room. He noticed the small intercom that was on the nightstand as well as a small gadget that he had seen being used by patients that had diabetes to draw a blood sample. Max’s face crinkled in confusion. He got the feeling there was something big he was missing but couldn’t put his finger on it. He needed to talk to Liz about the extent of Emily’s ‘condition’.

Max bent down on his knees next to Emily’s bed as Josh quietly climbed onto the top bunk. He softly pushed Emily’s hair out of her face and caressed her check. She was angelic. She reminded him so much of Liz and at the same time he saw how her features held so much of Zan in them. He felt his heart squeeze to think Zan shared this with Liz. Emily was so beautiful… Leaning down he placed a soft kiss on her forehead before pulling the covers a little higher on her body.

Standing up he leaned into the railing of the top bunk. Josh turned to look at him.

“There’s something I don’t know here, right?” Max asked

Josh quietly nodded

“That’s what I thought” Max said. Pulling the covers over Josh’s body, he placed his hand over Josh’s upper arm. “Josh, I know Alex, Liz and your Mom tell you this all the time but I want to say it too… You’re one great kid.”

Josh smiled proudly “Thanks, Uncle Max”

“Now…” Max said turning serous “Who taught you what Pervert means?”

Josh’s smile immediately faded, “Uncle Lala”

Max nodded “I thought so. Good night, Josh”

“Night, Uncle Max”

Closing the door behind him, Max headed downstairs to get Liz. Lifting her gently off the sofa, her head rolled to rest against his chest. He looked down at the beauty in his arms and couldn’t believe he was holding her like this. He could feel her breathing against him and all his nerves tingled.

Walking into the room Josh had pointed to be hers; Max was bombarded with Liz’s scent. This was her room and everything in here held a piece of her. He walked up to the bed and placing a knee on the edge, laid Liz in the center. As he pulled back, Liz turned into him and grabbed his arm. “Max…” he heard her sigh. Max looked down at her and closed his eyes to try to regain some semblance of control. In the swift movement she had made, Liz’s shirt had ridden up a little more than it should, exposing just as much skin as he had seen earlier in the evening, except now, he was literally on top of her. ‘Breath, Maxwell, Breath’ he thought to himself.

Extracting his arm from her vice grip he heard her whimper at the loss and he raised his eyes to heaven so that God would give him strength not to attack her in her sleep, as she had done to him so many years ago. For some reason he didn’t think she would welcome it in the same manner as he had.

Carefully he tried to pull down the small tank top to cover her just to have more of her cleavage come into view with the action. ‘You just can’t win this one, Max’ He thought. Looking around the room he found a quilt thrown over a rocker that stood next to the window. He quickly retrieved it and carefully covered Liz with it. Kneeling next to her bed he swept her hair off her face as he had down earlier to Emily.

“God, I love you,” he whispered looking at her beautiful face. He slowly edged forward and lightly caressed her lips with his. He leaned back a bit and inhaled her aroma before leaning in and brushing his lips with hers once again. He felt like a thief in the night stealing a precious treasure but he couldn’t help it. Stolen moments. That’s all he got from Liz.

Max sat back onto his heels and looked at her once again. As he stood up the picture that she had on her nightstand caught his attention. Picking it up, he noticed it was the same one he had ‘altered’. He smiled as he put it back on the table. He then noticed the same type of intercom in her room as he saw in the kids. He passed his fingers across the top of the machine and then looked at Liz. He needed to know what was all this about. He took a few steps back and quietly exited the room.
A few minutes later the front door of the house closed as Max made his way to his own home.

TBC...

[starlady]

~ Chapter 16 ~

Liz placed the last case folder in the small bin that lay on the top of her desk. It was 11:05 pm and she was out! A few days off were exactly what she needed. It was hard to get back on track after taking time off. It was almost as if she was jet lagged.
The next two days were definitely not going to be a walk in the park. Tomorrow she was having every one over to tell them about Emily’s illness and then she would need to deal with the fall out. On Monday she had a trip to Albuquerque scheduled for Emily’s first transfusion. Liz sighed, would she ever see the day when those trips were a thing of the past? Emily seemed strong but Liz knew just how fast that could change. Liz brought her arms up to rest on the desk and let her head fall into her hands.

“Hey, you.”

Raising her head, Liz smiled. “Oh, my very own prince charming. Have you come to whisk me away from this horrid place”

“If you let me” Max responded playfully. “Tough day?”

“Not really. I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I wish I had more time off” Liz said as she stood up and grabbed her knapsack off the coat rack.

“You’re weekend hasn’t started and you’re already sad it’s ending?” Max laughed

“Basically” Liz replied with a soft smile

As they walked out of the hospital to Max’s car, Liz explained, trying not to go into details, how her weekend was too full and she just wanted to rest.

“Nice car” Liz commented as she looked over the black Mustang convertible Max was opening.

“Thanks.” Max replied opening the door for Liz to get in, “Everyone wanted me to get a small sports car when I was able to afford a real car but I liked that this one was sporty, but could still seat more than two”

Max revved up the engine and backed out of the parking. “So what did you do this morning?” he asked

“Nothing much. I stayed home with Em. Alex had to go to Clovis early for work. You know, the thing he was working on last night.” As if remembering something, Liz turned to face Max quickly “Oh, I’m so sorry for falling asleep on you last night. I felt so bad when I woke up this morning.”

“Don’t worry about it. You warned me that you were going to be exhausted and I had a great time anyway” Max reassured her.

“I promise the next time, I’ll stay awake,” She said

“I’m going to hold you to that promise.” Max said looking over to her

Liz smiled and continued telling him about her morning, “The house isn’t really set up with a good data port, so Alex had to go to Clovis to the main office to upload his code to Boston.” Liz paused “Hmm… What else did I do?… Oh, Kyle dropped by and took Josh for his morning run since I couldn’t leave Em alone. He’s really a great guy.”

“Yeah, he was my roommate in college. Can you imagine? It was weird at first, since we knew each other from high school but never really hung out, but then we sort of clicked. He has the best sense of humor, Maria and him would drive me crazy.” Max said remembering how much he had needed their support to get through the fact that Liz had left without saying a word.

“He’s been really great with Josh. Even Emily has warmed up to him… Things will be easier around the house next week. Serena arrives on Tuesday so it will give Alex a break and the kids will be able to do things separately. I know Emily has wanted to go shopping and Josh can’t stand the mall, while Josh has wanted to check out some music shop in town and Emily hates waiting for him while he goes through all the music books. They work better together when they can spend some time apart.”

“Liz, you know you can always count on me. Those kids are great and I would love to take them off your hands whenever you want.” Max said earnestly “I have the pool at the house and the entertainment room. There is plenty of space in my house that they can do their own thing without even seeing the other for hours. If you want I can take Josh to the music store and then another day I can take Em to the mall. I would love to do it.”

Liz looked over to Max and placed her hand over his “Thanks Max. It means a lot that you offered.”

“I’m serious, Liz. Even if you’re not overwhelmed. I really want to spend some time with the kids. I baby-sit for Sammy all the time. Maria calls it my PIT time.” Max looked over to Liz and smiled “ Parent in training time”

Liz laughed. “That sounds like Maria alright” As Max turned onto Liz’s street, she asked “I thought you wanted to talk?”

“I do. I just want you to feel comfortable, so I thought we could talk here, on your home turf” Max said apprehensively. He had thought about where they could have this conversation with out interruptions and immediately thought of taking her out to the quarry. They used to hangout there in high school when they wanted to hide from Maria’s constant ramblings, but he thought that after he told her the truth, she might not want to be in his presence for the ride back into town. Looking at her as he turned into the driveway, he knew that was where she thought they were going.

Liz tilted her head to give Max a side look and then shook her head with a smile “Okay”

Max exited the car and walked beside Liz to the porch where they sat in uncomfortable silence. After a few minutes Liz scooted over to sit closer to Max. Shoving him with her shoulder she said, “What’s going on, Max? Talk to me.”

“You know when you have to say something and you’ve rehearsed it until you’re blue in the face and then when you have to just spit it out everything flies out of your brain and you’re left blank? You know, I’m a lawyer. I’m not supposed to have freeze frame moments like this.”

“Maybe I can help you? Let’s see… Every time you start you start with how you were feeling in high school” Liz said encouraging him to speak.

“Oh, yeah. I guess that’s where I usually start” Max said shifting a bit. He had played this conversation in his mind so many times, but now, with Liz in front of him, terror seized him.

After another minute of silence Liz gave him another push “Okay… So what comes after ‘So Liz, I had these feelings in high school’?” She said intoning in a deep voice trying to imitate Max.

“Um… So Liz, I had these feelings in high school…” Max started and stalled. This was ridiculous! ‘No wonder we always got interrupted. I always take so damn long to get things going!’ He thought to himself.

Getting up from where he sat, he paced a bit before standing in front of Liz. Wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, he rushed forward with his speech. “Ok Liz, that starting is just not going to work; let’s try this… Liz, something happened when we were back in high school. Something that most likely will change the way you look at me as a person, as a friend and because I don’t think it’s right to keep this from you and still call myself your friend I need to tell you, this … this thing that I’ve been carrying on my shoulders for the last ten years. And I know you might not want to ever see me again, that I might lose you forever, but the hope that you will still accept me after I tell you is worth the risk, because I can’t even visualize a future with you in my life while I carry this secret.”

Liz stared at Max as he rambled and thought ‘boy when he starts he really gets going’; “Okay…” she said.

“Now the thing is, I want you to see things from my point of view and, so, I need to give you some background so you can understand my state of mind when this… this thing, happened” Max continued, wiping his palms on his jeans once again.

“Okay” Liz said again. At this point she had given up understanding his cryptic words and decided to just wait until he started to make sense.

“So, back in high school, I had these feelings for you…” Max started again “No. Not high school, before high school” he shook his head and waved his hand in front of his face as to dismiss the last statement “The thing is, I’ve had these feelings for as long as I can remember but it seemed I was destined to never tell you about them. At first, I was scared that you would laugh in my face and you would never look at me as your best friend again. I was scared that if I told you, there would always be this awkwardness between us and I didn’t want that. Then you started dating Zan…” At this Max sat down next to Liz and stared forward, fidgeting with his hands a bit.

Liz couldn’t believe what Max was telling her. She smiled at herself and shook her head a bit. He had been feeling the same as she did. All those years, she thought he just saw her as a best friend and he was feeling the same way as she. Why couldn’t she have acknowledged her feelings back then? Instead she went and screwed up everything by dating his brother.

Max could feel Liz looking at him but he didn’t want to look at her for fear of what he would see reflected in her eyes. He was almost there. He just needed to finish. Taking a deep breath, he continued slowly. “You seemed so happy with Zan. He was my brother. There was no way I would ever dream…” pausing he corrected himself “That’s not true.” Lowering his eyes to his hands, he admitted the truth “I did dream. I dreamed every night. I… I can’t believe I’m telling you this!”

Liz scooted over and slipped her arm under his to rest her hand on his forearm. Max looked at her hand and placed his hand over hers as he trudged along “You were always mine in my dreams, Liz. I hated that Zan didn’t treat you the way, I knew you should have been treated. I didn’t know what you saw in him, so I went on a crusade to be Zan. I physically imitated him in every way and still you were with him and not with me.” Max shook his head and gave Liz a side ways glance “Pathetic, huh?”

Liz was speechless. He had loved her as only she had dreamed of and at that time she was so blind, so busy trying to deny her feelings that she made him go through hell. She swallowed to choke back the lump of guilt that had lodged in her throat. “No, Max… I…”

“Wait, there’s more…” He interrupted. “I think we’ve established I was pretty messed up back then. I had all these feelings and these fantasies and one night, just before Zan died, it all blew up in my face. I did the unthinkable. I lived out one of those fantasies. I let those feelings drive me. I made a mistake that has haunted me because I didn’t rationalize my actions. I…”

“Max?” Liz interrupted leaning back to look at him. “Are we talking about what I think we are? Are we talking about sex?” Did Max have sex with someone while he was thinking of her? It didn’t sound like something Max would do. He was too driven by his heart to do something like that, yet that was what it seemed he was implying.

“What?” Max asked pulling out of his speech . He was on a roll and was focused on trying to get Liz to see how bad he felt for betraying her trust. Her interruption threw him off and it took him a moment to understand what she was asking.

“Sex, Max. Is this about sex? Max, every teenager does stupid things. What? Was she this horrible person that you wanted to hurt?” Liz asked hoping that she could help Max rid himself of the guilt of his past.

“No!” Max jumped to respond “She… She’s beautiful and I would never hurt her intentionally” He replied softly tucking a lose strand of Liz’s hair in back of her ear.

“Um… So, was she terrible? You know, in bed? Or maybe you didn’t… um… perform well” Liz asked with a shy smile. She really didn’t need to hear about Max’s performance problems but if he needed to talk, she was there to listen.

“No!” Max quickly answered, shaking his head. Getting a far off look on his face, he added, “It was… It was beautiful.”

Liz’s heart constricted looking at Max. This person had stole Max’s heart. He loved her. That was why he must be feeling such remorse, because he used this person to forget Liz and now that he had feelings for her he must be feeling like a scum. Liz thought she had it all figured out and that truth hurt. Liz lowered her head because she couldn’t bear to see all that love in Max’s eyes. Was this how he felt all those years when he had loved her and she was with Zan? How could he have bared it?

Trying to lighten the mood a bit, Liz took another approach “Max,” She said quietly “It doesn’t matter how it happened. If it was as beautiful as you say, you should cherish the memory. My one and only time down that road, left me feeling just as guilty, for reasons very similar to yours. It never goes away but it gets to be easier to bear.”

“No, Liz you don’t understand…” Max started as Liz interrupted him again

“I do understand, all too well.”

“No, Liz, you need to let me fini…” Max said before her words sank in and his face went devoid of color. Turning quickly Max asked, “Liz! What did you just say?”

Liz startled at Max’s quick movement but responded to his question a little embarrassed “Well… I … I literally jumped Zan. I know he wasn’t expecting it and… well… after Zan passed I felt really guilty about the whole experience.” Looking at Max more intently “You don’t want to hear about this and to tell you the truth, I’m not that comfortable talking about this with you. I just wanted you to know that everyone makes mistakes.”

Quickly turning his whole body to face her, Max grabbed her upper arms “No Liz, I really need to know this” Had he heard her correctly?

“You really need to know about my sex life?” Liz asked leaning away from Max who seemed to be desperate all of a sudden. She wondered what she had said to prompt this reaction from him.

Max shook his head and stood up. As he paced in front of a confused Liz he tried to explain what he meant. “That came out wrong. I’m sorry. Okay. Let me rephrase… I don’t want to know about your sex life… well… I do want to know about it, but NOT details. No, wait… that didn’t come out right either.” Max paused a moment running several phrases in his mind to make sure that when they left his mouth, Liz understood exactly what he wanted to know.

Liz stared at Max, completely confused “Max?”

Max turned and stood perfectly still in front of Liz. “Liz, what I want to know is… Where you intimate with Zan on more than one occasion?”

‘That seems like an easy question’ Liz thought, before she responded “No.”

Max felt his knees weaken at the response, felt his world collapse around him, felt himself drain of color, of body heat, of all senses. His lungs wouldn’t work properly and he felt himself start to hyperventilate. All these years he had felt guilty for betraying her trust, for violating her relationship with his brother. He felt guilty for not being strong enough to realize she wouldn’t have wanted him in that way. Felt guilt for not being strong enough to stop that night. But now he knew it was so much more than that… the impact of his actions hit him full force, like a freight train and all he could say was “Oh my God” before crumbling under the weight and falling to his knees.

Liz ran to his side immediately “Max! What’s the matter? Are you okay?” She put her arm under his to support him but he felt like dead weight.

“Oh my God, Liz. What have I done? How could I have done that to you?” Max’s mind was slowly putting it all together. He didn’t just betray her trust, he took that moment away from her, he took away her first time with Zan, her only time with Zan. Another strangled “Oh my God” escaped his lips as he realized what that meant. She had been a virgin! He was so rough with her and it had been her first time. Max slammed the palms of his hands against his eyes while his fingers burrowed into his hair, as if shutting his eyes would make this moment not exist.

“Max! You’re scaring me! What are you talking about?” Liz said trying to shake Max out of the haze he was falling into.

Max’s head snapped up and he looked at Liz, ‘She didn’t know’ he thought and before thinking he blurted out “It was me! “

“What?” She asked, brow crinkled in confusion. Nothing Max was saying made any sense and she felt the situation spiraling out of control.

Max fell back to sit fully on his heels, his head fell onto his chest as he pulled Liz’s arm out from under his and held her hand. Calmness fell around them as Max took several deep breaths to gain some control over his emotions. Finally he raised his head to look at Liz, her face a portrait of confusion.

Max’s eyes were a pool of pain. Liz felt her heart break at the rawness she saw there.
“It was me. It was me that day.” She heard him repeat. “What day?” she asked quietly trying to sooth him with her voice.

“The day you came to give yourself to Zan” Max answered with regret “It was me that day”

“What… What are you saying Max? That’s… That’s not possible” Liz said but her mind was already racing through the events of that night.

Max turned to face her and tugged on her hand a bit to get her full attention. “Liz, the Thursday before Zan died he was getting ready to go to a party. Remember how I said I was pissed at how he treated you? Well, I went to confront him before he left. We talked a bit and Zan left. I stayed in his room thinking about the conversation and fell asleep on his bed.”

Liz started to shake her head in denial. ‘It can’t be’ she thought ‘I would know’

“At first I thought it was a just another one of my dreams. I dreamed of you coming to me all the time” he admitted sheepishly “but then I realized it wasn’t a dream and you were actually there.”

Liz shook her head more vigorously “No. That’s not true” she said as she pulled her hand away from Max’s hold

“You were there. You were so beautiful and you were touching me. I thought it wasn’t true. I thought I had to stop but you said you wanted to show me that you wanted me. ME, Liz” Max saw her back away from him and he edged forward to reassure her “I didn’t know Liz. I didn’t know you thought I was Zan. I thought you actually wanted ME and that all my dreams had come true”

Liz knew something was off that night but she had blamed it on the alcohol, she blamed it on her being naïve. She looked at the ground in front of her as tears pooled in her eyes. She tried to find anything that told her it wasn’t true. That all the decisions she had made were not based on a falsehood.

Max leaned forward once again to touch her and she crawled further away. She couldn’t think straight if he touched her and she needed to find that scrap of information that would prove Max wrong.

“Liz” Max choked out “I didn’t know… I… I tried to stop but I wanted it to be true so bad and then you called me Zan and I realized what I had done. God, Liz. I’m sorry, I… I didn’t know”

Liz couldn’t deny it anymore. There was nothing to refute what Max was saying. She knew in her heart he was being honest. She felt hurt and betrayed. All these years she had carried the guilt of committing the ultimate lie. Giving herself to Zan with out loving him. Years of guilt turned into anger as she stood up and stepped away from Max. “You didn’t know then, but you knew after, you knew for months before I left and you didn’t say anything!” She threw at him as tears started to make their way down her cheeks.

“I was going to tell you. I swear!” Max said scrambling to his feet as he reached out to her, only to have Liz swat his hand away. Max stepped back, pained in the realization that his worse nightmare was coming true. Liz hated him. She would never forgive him. Why couldn’t he have stopped himself that night? “Liz, I was so confused, I felt I had violated you…”

“That’s because you did!” Liz spit out; enraged for all the year she had wasted on guilt.

Max felt her words cut through him. “Liz…” He said feeling his throat constrict. Max turned away from her and shut his eyes so he wouldn’t see the disgust that she must feel looking at him. He forced himself to continue “Liz, the next day… I had changed my appearance. I realized that I didn’t want you to be with me because I looked like Zan. I didn’t want you to look at me and see Zan. I experienced that first hand that night and I didn’t want that” Max struggled to get the rest out. “ I wanted you to love me for ME. I was going to tell you what happened that Saturday. We were going to have breakfast but then…” Max paused and rubbed his temples with his hand. “…then everything got so crazy when Zan died. I didn’t know right from left. When I finally got my life in order, you had left.”

Liz’s shoulders dropped in defeat. She could see that Max was telling the truth, he hadn’t tried to hide anything; in fact he had been trying to tell her the truth since she got back to Roswell. Every time he had tried to start this conversation they would get interrupted. She couldn’t hate him. It was ridiculous for her to even resent him. The truth was he was giving her what she had wanted all these years. Most of her guilt had been because she had giving herself to Zan while loving his brother. She had given herself to Zan when she really wanted it to be Max. She would never be able to give Max her first time. Here Max was telling her that in fact it had been him and she was angry at him for taking away the reason for her guilt?

Liz shook her head in disgrace. Disgrace in herself. How could she have said that to Max? Slumping down onto the steps of the porch she let everything Max said sink in. He wanted to be Zan so she could love him and she had been with Zan because she wanted Max. “Oh Max” Liz sighed bringing her head down into her hands. Silence fell upon them, as time crawled by.

Max finally turned to look at Liz when she said his name. Taking in her dejected posture he took a step in her direction before stopping himself from getting too close. “Liz…” Max pleaded

Liz raised her eyes to him, her face softened with understanding as she extended her hand to Max.

Max ran to take it, kneeling in front of her “Liz, I swear if I had known you were there for Zan…”

“Max,” Liz said as she wiped her face of the tears she had shed “I wasn’t there for Zan”

Max looked at Liz with confusion.

Softly pushing Max’s hair off of his face, Liz explained, “We have been such idiots. I’m sorry for what I said, it’s not your fault. We were both really messed up back then. Maybe if we had been honest with each other from the start no one would have been hurt. You see, you wanted to be Zan and all I wanted was Zan to be you.”

Max pulled back a bit, completely lost “I don’t understand”

“Max, I was just as in love with you as you were with me. The only difference was that I was too much of a coward to admit it. I wanted to deny those feeling so much I dated Zan. It was the best of both worlds. I didn’t have to risk our friendship to have you as my boyfriend. The problem was Zan could never be you. For three years I pretended, convinced myself I had feeling for Zan. I think Zan finally figured it out, because he started to drift away from me. Funny that he saw it before I did. He had always wanted to be intimate and I never wanted it to go that far. When I felt him pulling away, I freaked” Liz leaned her head against the porch banister in reverie “I was so scared of having to face my true feelings that I decided I needed to convince Zan of my devotion. I got hammered that night. That should have given me an indication that I was making a mistake. If you need to get drunk to make love to your boyfriend maybe you shouldn’t be taking that step…”

Max was at a loss for word so he just let her continue.

“Even though I was drunk, I knew what I was doing. I can’t blame it on the alcohol. I climbed through that window determined to prove to Zan that he was the one but it wasn’t him I wanted to make love to. It was you.”

“Liz…” Max sighed holding her hands tightly. His heart filled with hope. Not just hope that she would forgive him but hope that maybe she still felt the same way.

Liz looked down at Max who remained knelt in front of her “It took Zan’s death to make me realize my feelings. I felt so guilty for using him that I could barely look at you. He was your brother for Gods sake! I lost all hope of having a future with you. I mean , I not only used your brother but I gave myself to him! And then I realized I was pregnant, I knew it was over for us before it had star…” As the words escaped Liz , it all came into focus for her. The reality of what this all meant, set in. Her eyes widen and her mouth opened in a gasp that never left her throat. “Oh my God. Emily” she let out before covering her mouth with her hand.

Max stared at her “Emily?” he asked confused at her statement. A moment later he also made the connection. “Emily…” he said in wonderment. Grabbing a shocked Liz by the arms, he said the words out loud “Emily is not Zan’s!” Shaking Liz, he said “Liz! Emily is mine!” Stepping back he pointed at himself and exclaimed joyfully “Emily’s my baby!” moving to Liz once again, he grabbed her hand “Liz! I’m a father!” he informed her with a smile etched from ear to ear. He was suddenly on a high that he thought he would never come down from. That was, until Liz quickly stood up and grabbing her things made a mad dash to the door of the house.

The smile dropped from Max’s face. “Liz? Liz, what’s the matter?” he asked scrambling up the porch to follow her. “Liz, what’s the matter?” he repeated when he got no response. Watching her fidget with the lock on the door, he grabbed the keys from her hand and asked once again “Liz! What’s the matter?”

“Max, please…” Liz pleaded, running her hand through her hair. She needed to think. There were still things left unsaid but Max was now Emily’s father. Emily had a father that was alive and kicking. How would Emily react? What would Max say when he found out about Emily’s illness? How could she tell him… tell him that his daughter was dying?

“Liz, talk to me!” Max said, turning her so they faced each other.

“Max, I need to think” Liz replied pushing his arms away from her “Please Max, I need some time.”

“Liz, please, we can talk about it, together”
Was she afraid he would take Emily away? It was ridiculous, but he couldn’t think of anything else that might have her spooked.

“I can’t… we’ve said enough for tonight. This is much bigger than what either of us could have ever thought. Please give me some time.”

“Don’t runaway, Liz. Don’t runaway from this. Don’t take her away from me” Max implored

Liz felt her heart break at his plea. If he only knew. Tears filled her eyes at the thought of all the lost years. “I’m not going anywhere, Max. I just need to think.” Liz assured him. Grabbing the keys from his hand, she opened the door before she turned to look at Max, who appeared to be devastated. “I promise, Max. Give me until tomorrow. We have more to talk about but I need time. I need to think”

“Tomorrow?” Max asked hopefully

“Yes, Max. Just until tomorrow.”

Max nodded and stepped back from the door.

“Thank you, Max” Liz said as she closed the door.

Max took another step back before turning and heading for his car. This was going to be one of the longest nights of his life.

Liz leaned against the closed door. Closing her eyes, she slowly slid to the floor. How could she tell him? How?

TBC...

[starlady]

~ Chapter 17 ~

Liz stood at the doorway not really remembering how she even got there but knowing she was there for a reason. She held the small photo albums close to her chest, willing her hands to knock on the door but not knowing what was to happen after that point. It was insane. The photos were meant to create a link between her daughter and her grandparents, yet here she stood with the small offering for her daughters father. It wasn’t enough, but it was all she had. Images of a life that he was denied.

Liz felt the urge to crawl up and cry.
Again.

She had been in that position for the past four hours. Crying. Crying her eyes out and trying to make sense of the changes in her life.
After Max left she sat on the floor until Alex woke up. He had heard the soft sobs that escaped her and being accustomed to light sleep, came out to see who it was. He guided her to his bed where she told him everything that had happened. Then she cried some more.

“You have to tell him” Alex said trying not to sound pushy but not leaving it up for discussion.

“Well of course I have to tell him” Liz responded knowing that he was talking about telling Max about Emily’s condition.

“No, Liz. I mean you have to tell him before you tell everyone else.” Alex clarified “He needs to be prepared. He deserves to know. He deserves to know first! It’s one thing to tell him his long lost niece is ill but, being her father changes everything. One moment he finds out that he’s a father in the next breath you tell him he’s losing her. It’s not fair. He needs time to absorb this news and he needs it to be done privately”

Liz was quiet. She knew that Alex was right. She knew what she had to do, but she was still scared. She just didn’t know why? “Every time I think of telling him I get this fire in my stomach. I feel it swirling around inside of me. My logical side says that I have nothing to be afraid of. I’ve gone through all the scenarios in my mind and there is nothing Max can do to me …”

“Liz, Who are you trying to lay that on, because I know you wouldn’t insult my intelligence with that load of crap. Max has all the power in the world over you. He is the love of your life! You are scared that he will a) reject you b) despise you c) abandon you d) all of the above” Alex usually sugar coated things for Liz but when things needed to be said he would say them. “Stop thinking of yourself and think of him. Think of the kind a person Max is and you will know that there is no basis for your fears. Think of the first time we heard of Em’s diagnosis. Max is going to be devastated. We know that kind of pain. We have to be strong for each other. For Emily.”

Liz looked at her best friend in the world. Her rock of Gibraltar. “What about you, Alex? How do you feel about all this?”

Alex sighed as he lay down next to Liz bringing his arm to rest under his head “Confused. I don’t think I can put my feelings into words right now. I mean… In my convoluted mind I always thought that I was Emily’s daddy. Even if one day you got married and left the house, I felt I would always be that”

Liz turned and cuddled into Alex’s chest as she listened to him reflect

“I mean… I was the first to hold her after you. I woke up to feed her, changed her diapers, wiped snot off her nose and drool off her chest. I sat on those little chairs with her during the father/daughter breakfast in first grade. I… I held her hand and sang to her during her first diagnosis. I picked out her shoes and combed her hair. I taught her the difference between The Beatles and Matchbox 20. I stayed up putting together that infernal Barbie Dream House!” Alex said as a stray tear fell down the side of his face “Isn’t that what a daddy does?”

“Yes, Alex. That’s exactly what a daddy does.” Liz said swiping off tears of her own

“’I’m feeling kinda lost right now. I suddenly don’t know where I stand in this family. It was okay for me to take on the role of father because… well… Zan was dead. He would never be able to be that for Emily. Now… It’s different. I can’t continue in that role because Max is very much alive. He is her true Daddy and although I know that he is a good guy and that he just found out about his daughter, I sort of… resent him.” Alex finished in a whisper somewhat embarrassed over his feelings. “I’m really confused about that. I think I just need to follow my own advice and not think of myself. I need to think of Emily and Max. I know that at nine years old, Emily must have questions about who is her father. Max needs a chance to be just that.” Turning to look at Liz, he said, “You need to let him be her father. You need to talk to him, be honest with him. The decisions that you make from this day on need to be discussed with him. You need to discuss what you’re going to tell Em and what the hell you’re going to tell everyone else.”

Liz opened her eyes wide. She hadn’t even thought about what everyone’s reaction to Max’s new role would be. “God. Everyone’s going to think I’m a slut! Everyone’s going to know how Em was conceived.” Liz hid her face in Alex’s chest.

“Well, you know I’ve always thought you were kinda loose, always jumping into bed with me and all…” Alex teased before turning serious.“ Liz, these are things you need to talk to Max about. You’re leaning on the wrong shoulder here.”

Liz sat up and started to get off the bed, nodding her head. “You’re right. I need to talk to him, tell him the truth and deal with the aftermath. I’m going to go see him in the morning before anyone gets here.”

Alex quickly grabbed her wrist “No, Liz. You need to do this now!”

“Alex, it’s 4:00 in the morning!” Liz exclaimed, pulling her arm free from his hold.

“And you think he’s sleeping?” Alex replied sarcastically “He’s probably worn a hole in his carpet. Liz, he needs to know now!”

“ I… I need to change” Liz said in a last ditch effort to stall

“Let me HELP you.” Alex said knowing what Liz was doing.
Alex dragged Liz out of his room, up to hers. Pulling a pair of cargo pants and a matching tank top from her closet, he flung them at her. Grabbing her again, he pulled her into the bathroom. “Change!” He commanded and closed the door. Opening the door again he added, “You have 5 minutes!” Placing his wristwatch on the counter, he shut the door once more.

Liz took a deep breath and quickly knocked on the door. Looking around the quiet neighborhood she wondered once again what she should tell Max to soften the blow. Shaking her head back and forth she smirked thinking to herself that it was foolish of her to try to soften the blow. There was no way to say what she had to say and not completely decimate the man she loved.
She gripped the albums tighter. Resting her chin on the top of the books, she bit her lip to stop from falling apart. ‘Not now. Not now.’ She said to herself.

“Liz?”

Turning around, Liz felt her heart leap out of her chest and the fire that was settled in the pit of her stomach swarmed over her body.
Panic.

‘Not now. Not now!’ She said to herself once again. “I hope I didn’t wake you” She offered

“No. No, of course not. I… I’m just surprised to see you.” Max said. He had come home and had tried to calm his nerves but the thought that Liz had freaked out at the possibility that he was Emily’s father had him running all sort of bizarre scenarios in his mind. He finally gave up on trying to sleep two hours ago. He showered and then sat in the small sitting area in his room, nursing a whiskey. The only thing that had kept him from driving back to Liz’s house was her promise. She wouldn’t run. She wouldn’t take Emily away. She would call him. They would talk. She just needed time. The last thing he had ever imagined was that it would be this soon. Having her standing in front of him made him breath a small sigh of relief.

“Can… Can I come in?” Liz asked tentatively

“Yes! Of course!” Max said opening the door wider so Liz could come in.

Closing the door behind her, he escorted Liz to the family room where he offered her a seat and something to drink.

“I could use one of those” Liz said pointing at the tumbler in Max’s hand. Max raised his eyebrows, a little shocked by the request, but without comment served Liz a drink and handed it to her before sitting next to her.

‘This is the moment of truth’ Liz thought to herself taking a shot of the amber liquid in hopes it would settle her nerves. “Um… I brought these for you” Liz said putting the small photo albums on the coffee table that was in front of them. “I was going to show them to your parents this afternoon but I wanted you to have them. They’re of Emily and… well.. her life”

Max looked at the two albums on the table. Could Liz wrap up nine years of his daughter’s life in two small photo albums? “Thanks” he said leaning forward to take the one on top.

Liz reached out and stopped him. “Max, before you see them I need to tell you something.”

Max nodded. This was it, he thought, this is where she would tell him that he should not take an active role in Emily’s life. That, his presence in Emily’s life, as her father, would just be disruptive.

“Max, earlier this evening I sort of lost my bearings. I want to apologize for that. We were talking about something that happened between us and then all of a sudden the actions that we took ten years ago became one of consequences. I based a lot of decisions I made back then on my concept of reality and all of a sudden that reality was non-existent. I don’t care about myself but I do care about how this all affects Emily and… and you.”

“Liz, I am so sorry I didn’t tell you” Max started, but Liz put her hand in front of him to halt any further apologies.

“Don’t. The past is just that. The past. I told you earlier how I felt about that night and well… that is not the issue. The issue is that my daughter all of a sudden has a father with a pulse.”

Max smiled at the comment.

“There are things you don’t know that now, as Emily’s father, you have the right to know.” Liz looked up at Max and at that moment it dawned on her that she had never asked him how he felt about all this. She just assumed he would want to take on the role of Em’s father, but maybe he didn’t want that. He had seemed to express happiness at the idea but maybe, after thinking about it he decided he wasn’t ready for such a commitment. “Max? I didn’t ask you before but… How do you feel about this? Do you want to be a father to Emily? I mean, I would understand if you didn’t want that…”

“Of course I want to be in Emily’s life!” Max interrupted hastily “Liz, I can never tell you what this means to me. This last week… The time I have spent with Emily… She has a gift of getting under your skin and crawling into your heart. To know that I helped bring that angel into this world… There aren’t enough words… On Friday, as I tucked her in, I actually felt jealous of Zan. I also felt very sorry for him because he would never see the beautiful daughter he had left behind. Today I find out that she is mine? Liz… I mean… If you… I… I DO want to be a father to Emily.” He finished before he made a fool out of himself.

Liz looked at Max and smiled. He was so adorable. He was a caring man. Liz knew that he was not doing this because of a sense of responsibility but because he truly cared for Em. She had seen the way he interacted with Sammy and she knew he was ready to be a father. She was sad that he would not have all the tender memories of Emily’s first years but she hoped that he would have many more years of memories to cherish. This thought brought her back to her purpose.
“Thanks Max for saying that.” She told him as she felt her heart pick up speed in the anticipation of telling him about Emily’s illness. “Max” She started, looking down at her hands, “Emily… Emily is sick.”

Max nodded “I know”

Liz looked up quickly “You know?”

“Of course. You told us that much last weekend. She has a problem with her blood taking enough oxygen to her body.” Max said innocently.

Liz’s hope quickly faded. For an instant she thought that he somehow knew and she wouldn’t have to tell him.

Max noticed how Liz’s face fell at his statement and it confused him. He quickly rethought the events of last weekend and then the visit he had to Emily’s room and the intercoms installed over the house and the few words he had with Josh…

Standing up he leaned into the railing of the top bunk. Josh turned to look at him.

“There’s something I don’t know here, right?” Max asked

Josh quietly nodded

“That’s what I thought” Max said.

There was more to this. The fact that Liz brought up Emily’s health meant there was something more to tell. Something big enough to have Liz avoid looking at him directly. Max’s heart started beating in overtime. He searched out Liz’s eyes, trying to get her to face him.

“Liz” Max said lifting her face “There’s more to Emily’s illness, isn’t there?”

Liz nodded softly as tears formed in her eyes

“What is it?” Max said steeling himself for the worse.

Liz swiped her eyes gently to remove the unshed tears from the brim of her eyes. Raising her eyes to meet Max’s she forged forward. “Emily has a condition called Myelodysplastic Syndrome. MDS for short. She was first diagnosed when she was 5. Max, MDS is a form of Juvenile Cancer. Actually MDS is catch all for several syndromes…”

Cancer

“… it usually doesn’t attack children. It’s seen more on older people, over 60…”

Cancer

“…at first we thought it was just anemia. She was always tired and she bruised easily….”

Cancer

“…but then she started getting frequent nose bleeds and I knew something was wrong…”

Cancer

Liz noticed Max was in a daze. Even though she really wanted to get it all out, Liz stopped. “Max?”

Cancer. This was not what he had ever imagined. He didn’t know what he was thinking but the last thing from his mind was the possibility that Em had cancer. Cancer.

“Max?” Liz said once again, touching his hand. He was looking at her but Liz knew that look. It was the look that told her that Max was not really here in the present anymore. He was absorbing the news. She had seen that look reflected in the mirror many times through out the years. Next stage would be denial.

Max refocused on Liz, blinking several times. “Are you sure? I mean… Emily is healthy. She’s strong. She almost ran me over on Friday.” He knew the question was insane but he had to ask it. Cancer is not something that little kids get. Not his little kid.

Liz squeezed his hand as her heart tore apart. The tears were once again threatening to fall as she nodded slowly “Yes Max. I’m sure.”

“But… She’s going to be okay. Right?” Max asked through the lump that had lodged itself in his throat.

Liz lowered her eyes as the first tear fell from her eyes. “We hope so” she whispered

As Max gauged her reaction to his question he knew it was bad. He knew that as much as he would like to lie to himself, he couldn’t. Emily had cancer. Emily, his daughter, the one he just discovered he had, was dying. Max slumped back onto the sofa where they sat, still holding on to Liz’s hand. “Tell me everything”

And Liz did just that. She told him about the illness, about the time she was diagnosed. She told him about her first relapse and the chemotherapy used to force it back into remission. She told him about the last 6 months and how they had tried to control it. She told him about the prognosis and then she told him of their daughter’s only hope for survival. When she finished, Liz felt as if she had relived every single day of the nightmare that was claiming her daughter’s life.

“That’s why you came back.” Max stated staring straight ahead at nothing in particular.

“That’s why I had to come back sooner than I had planned” Liz corrected. She didn’t want him to think that she had only come to find her daughters salvation.

“Did you plan to stick around after finding Emily a bone marrow?” He asked coldly. Max was angry. Angry that life had given him the chance to be a father and then, just as easily, taken it away. He was angry that he had not been with his daughter through all the pain that she had seen during her short life. He was angry that Liz seemed to have been calculating in coming back, she had kept this from them and then expected them to help her.

“We don’t know if we will find Emily a donor here. The best matches are between siblings 1 out of 4. I’m her mother… and… I wasn’t a match.” Liz answered having the guilt of not being able to help her daughter crash upon her shoulders.

Max turned to look at Liz as she trembled slightly from holding in her sobs. The anger he felt just moments before draining from him. He would have done the same thing. He would face the wrath of anyone; gone to the ends of the earth if it gave him the smallest of hopes of having Emily live another day. Max squeezed Liz’s hand in support.

“If we didn’t find a donor… I wanted Emily to know her family. Not just Mom and Dad but also your family. I wanted her to know that she was loved by many. I wanted her… her time left… to be spent here.” Liz finished. Straightening herself and wiping the stream of tears that marred her face, Liz looked at Max.

Max straightened himself a bit before pulling Liz into his embrace. He held her against his chest and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. For both of you.”

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know” Liz said

“That doesn’t mean that I can’t feel regret. I wish I had been there.” Max said with such sorrow in his voice that Liz felt her tears gathering once again.

“You’re here now.” She said

Max nodded. “There is still hope. Now more than ever. Before you thought you had Aunts and Uncles to test, but I’m Emily’s parent too. I have a higher chance to match than if I was her uncle. We have to have faith. It’ll work out.”

Liz nodded knowing that what he said was true. They had to have faith that all this would work out in the end.

“Liz,” Max said still holding her against his chest. “Emily has questions. About her paternity, I mean.”

Liz lifted herself off his chest but stayed close to his side “What do you mean? She’s never asked me anything.”

“She asked me.” Max replied “Last week at the barbeque. She just came out and asked if I was her father”

Liz sat up straight and turned to look at Max in confusion. “Why would she ask you that?”

“Liz, Emily’s smarter than you think. She put two and two together fairly quickly. She said that she had come to meet her family; that her father was from Roswell. Then she pointed out that we had the same color of eyes and then she asked if I was her father. I was surprised by the question and that’s why I asked you what Emily knew about her paternity.”

“What did you tell her?” Liz asked concerned that she had not picked up on her own daughters need to know.

“Nothing. I was shocked by the question. I thought she knew.” Max answered honestly

Liz shook her head, “No. We’ve never talked about it.” Going back to Em’s question, Liz asked “Did she just drop the subject when you didn’t say anything?”

“Actually, you walked out onto the deck at that moment and I guess my look of utter surprise made her assume I wasn’t her father because she just hugged me, said she loved me anyway and then jumped into your arms. For a moment I thought I had imagined the whole conversation because her demeanor changed instantly. It was bizarre.”

Liz thought back to the scene she had interrupted last weekend. Emily and Max seemed to be in deep conversation. Now she knew what they had been talking about. Leaning back on the sofa, she looked straight ahead. She should have known it was time. She should have been more receptive to the subject; then her daughter would have felt comfortable talking to her about this. “I’m such a bad mother,” Liz finally said in a frustrated sigh “I never do anything right.”

“Don’t say that!” Max reprimanded turning his head to look at Liz “You’ve done everything for Emily. She wouldn’t be the person she is without you. She loves you and her heat is full of caring and respect for everyone around her. You’ve raised a beautiful daughter!”

“A daughter that can’t talk to me. She can’t even approach me to ask who is her father” Liz berating herself. “I always thought we had a relationship where she could tell me anything, but we obviously don’t. She feels more comfortable talking to a man she has known for just a few hours.”

“But Emily has known me for many years. All her life actually. Didn’t you constantly tell her stories about Maria and me? You told me that Emily grew up on these stories. She knew I was someone she could trust.” Max said trying to soothe her concerns “Liz, obviously Em knows it’s a sensitive subject. I think she believes that bringing up the topic might hurt your feelings. I think she cares enough to not do anything to hurt you and so she’s never asked, but she’s curious.”

Liz let Max’s words sink in. It made sense. She talked about everyone in Roswell openly and with love but she never mentioned Emily’s father. In a sense she had put out the message that the topic was taboo.

“What are you going to tell her? You know, about me?” Max finally asked

“The truth. I was actually going to be talking to her on Monday about her father” Liz said realizing that in the end, it was better that Emily had no preconceived notions of who was her father. It would be less confusing for her now. “Emily has her first appointment in Albuquerque on Monday. She has to sit still for two hours and I thought it would be the best time to tell her.”

“What type of appointment?” Max inquired going into daddy mode

“Remember I told you She is on something called supportive care to keep her illness in a stable state? Well the treatment consists of giving her blood transfusions every two weeks.” Liz explained, “It sort of replenishes her blood. Puts healthy blood into her. Monday is her first appointment since we got to Roswell.”

“I want to go” Max demanded

“Max…” Liz began

“No, Liz. I want to be there. I want to support her. I want…”

“Max, listen to me.” Liz interrupted “I need to talk to Emily alone. I need to tell her about you. Please, Max. I need to be the one to tell her and this is the best time. I promise that you can go to every other appointment, but not Monday,”

Max sighed in frustration “If that’s what you need… I… I guess I understand. I just… I just want to be there for her”

Liz put her hand over his and squeezed it reassuring him. “I know. Max, you’re going to be an excellent father.”

Max felt his heart pick up pace. ‘I’m a father’ he thought. It still floored him.

“Max… What should I tell everyone else? I mean… Alex already knows, but…”
“He does?” Max asked interrupting her.

“Yes. I mean… we talked before I came over” Liz replied “It’s not easy for him. He’s always been the father figure in Emily’s life, now, he’s a little lost.”

Max lowered his head, trying to put himself in his friend’s shoes. “I can understand that” He finally admitted “It’s weird because even though the rational part of me is grateful he has been there for you and Emily… I sort of resent it”

Liz looked at Max and smiled recalling Alex’s words earlier. “Funny you would say that. I think Alex shares your same feelings. He knows you’re a good guy and he knows that you’ll be an excellent father but he had never expected to give up the role he plays in Em’s life and I think he resents you a bit.”

“I can understand that too.” Max said

“I’m not worried about you two. I know you’ll both work it out.” Liz said trusting that, the fact that both men acknowledged each other’s strengths would get them through this change. “I’m more concerned about our parents. I have no idea what to tell them. I mean, I’m going to have to tell them how I jumped you thinking that you were Zan. Your parents are going to think I’m a slut and my parents…. I don’t even have a clue how they’ll react,” Liz admitted honestly

Max knew that, in a way, Liz was right. His parents were having a hard time just accepting Liz’s action after she found out she was pregnant. If they knew the circumstances of Emily’s conception, they would crucify her. He knew that there was no way they wouldn’t ask for details, that they would not just accept a change in paternity. They would think she was sleeping with both him and Zan or that she was such a slut she didn’t know who the hell she was sleeping with. There was no way Liz would come out of this unscathed. Then there was the matter of telling her parents. Mr. Parker was going to kill him. “Your Dad’s going to kill me.” Max said aloud, reiterating his last thoughts as he slumped further into the sofa.

“And your dad is going to make me wear a Scarlet Letter. I guess that will make us even.” Liz replied slumping into the sofa as well.

Each sat in silence contemplating their options.

Liz was the first to talk “Max, I want to be the one who tells them and although I want to tell my parents privately, I would appreciate if you were there when I told your parents”

“You know I would never let you go alone. And I also want to go with you when you tell your parents. I’m the one that got you pregnant and I should be with you when you tell your parents.” Max said firmly, trying to leave no room for argument.

“Max, I want to tell them privately. I would feel more comfortable about it. I was the one that attacked you.” Liz said trying to reason with him.

“I could have stopped and I didn’t. We’re both to blame.” Max stated, standing his ground.

Liz cocked her eyebrow and smirked at Max’s last statement.

“Okay! So we’ve determined that I probably could not have stopped myself, but I think I should still go with you.” Max reaffirmed although he was getting the feeling that he was losing this argument just like he lost the one on Emily’s appointment.

“Please, Max. It would make things easier for me if you didn’t go. I know my parents and they will react to this news much better if you’re not around.” Liz pleaded

Max’s sense of responsibility was having a hard time losing this argument, but he didn’t want to make things more difficult for Liz. “Fine! I don’t like it but… I don’t want to make it worse.”

“Thank you, Max” Liz said leaning her head on his shoulder. “I do want to ask you a favor, though. I plan on telling your parents about Emily’s condition today. That’s what this get together is all about. Could you ask them not to tell Emily who they are? You know… that they are her grandparents? Since Em doesn’t know about you yet I don’t want your parents to blurt anything about Zan until I’ve told both of them the truth. Emily will be at my parents for a while and if all goes well and after everyone has had time to absorb the news, then I’ll have them bring her over to meet everyone.”

“Maybe I should tell them?” Max probed

“No! They’re going to have questions that you might not be able to answer. Anyway, Maria and Michael need to know as well, so they’ll be there too.” Liz responded

Max nodded knowing that Liz would, in fact, be the right person to answer any questions. He sighed and lifted his arm to wrap around Liz’s shoulders. Pulling her closer to him, he let silence settle between them as the morning rays crept into the room through the side of the curtains.

“Do you ever think of that night?” Max asked softly

Liz was quiet and contemplated the question before responding “I use to… but, it had become more of a fantasy than what I thought was reality” Liz replied thinking how she had begun to fantasize that it had been Max making love to her that night instead of Zan. “I don’t remember most of it or maybe I just chose to forget. How about you?”

“I remember everything…” Max responded with a sense of awe in his voice “It was the best and one of the worse nights of my life, but now, to know Emily was conceived on that night… it makes it even more memorable. In a good way I mean.” he added looking down at Liz whose face was flushed in embarrassment. “Are you blushing?” he chuckled.

Liz pushed Max back and smacked him across the chest “You’re so mean. I can’t believe you’re laughing at me”

Max brought his arms up to protect himself from getting smacked again as he continued to tease Liz “Why Dr. Parker, was it something I said?”

“Maxwell Evans, stop teasing! You very well know what you said. I can’t believe you remember. It was ten years ago!” Liz exclaimed in a huff as she tried to smack him once again.

Max grabbed her wrists and smiled “How can anyone forget making love to a woman as beautiful as yourself? Oops! There it is again! Liz, you’re so cute when you blush!”

Liz pushed at his hands “You have a real mean streak in you, Mr. Evans. I hope our daughter hasn’t inherited that trait.”

“Impossible” Max said. Pulling her into his arms, he held her still as he kissed the top of her head. “She’s caring and sweet and beautiful, just like her mother”

Liz sighed against his chest and relaxed into his embrace.

Quiet settled in the room once again before Max broke it “It’s gonna be okay, Liz”

She nodded into his chest as she replied softly “I know.”

TBC...

[starlady]

~ Chapter 18 ~

“Mom? Dad?” Max yelled out as he walked into his parent’s house.

It was 1:00 in the afternoon and Max knew he was early. Isabel and Max had planned on meeting at Diane & Phillip’s house so they could follow Max to Liz’s place. Everyone looked forward to meeting Emily and had agreed to shelve any resentful feelings that they might have. It was still a tense situation especially for Phillip. He had seen first hand how Zan’s death had almost torn his family apart, with Diane and Max’s breakdown. To know that Zan had left a child in this world and that they had been denied the right to see it, to love it, well, it was still a very raw subject for him. When Max called to say that Liz wanted to have them over on Sunday, Diane and Phillip were surprised to say the least. After she had run out from their house in the midst of the news that they were grandparents, she had only communicated to them through Max. Now all of a sudden they were being welcomed into her home.

Diane hoped that today would be the beginning of a loving relationship with their granddaughter and had pleaded to Phillip and Isabel to keep their tempers in check. She had told them that the past could not be changed but their attitude could irrevocably change their future with the child.
Emily was Liz’s daughter and if they couldn’t behave themselves, Liz could easily deny them any visitation. At this, Phillip had threatened to take the case to court and Diane knew that he was still too hurt to reason with. Diane on the other hand was so happy to have the opportunity to get to know her grandchild; she was willing to do anything. She knew Liz must have had her reasons to leave. That it must not have been an easy decision. She had gotten to know Liz very well, first as Max’s best friend and then as Zan’s girlfriend. She was always a good girl and knew there had been no malice in her actions.
Phillip on the other hand barely had interacted with Liz. He had spent many hours in the office, building his Law Firm and Diane was left to raise the children. After Zan’s death, that changed. Phillip cut back on his hours and tried spending as much time with Diane as possible. Isabel had already moved out of the house and with Max starting college early it left him empty and guilty for having missed so much of their children’s life. Diane sensed that some of that guilt was playing part in his irrational feelings toward Liz.

“We’re in here!” Max heard his mother call out from the kitchen

As Max walked into the kitchen, he not only found his parents but also his sister. “Isabel! You’re here early.” Max had expected to have an opportunity to talk to his parents in private but that plan seemed to be DOA with Isabel already in the house. Max and Isabel use to be very close, when they were younger. It seemed to Max that she knew what he was thinking or feeling before he did. Although she had been popular in high school and seemed to run in the same circles as Zan did, it was with Max that she felt more in touch with. That changed a few years ago. During Isabel’s marriage and then her divorce, Max noticed a change in his sister. She seemed more on the edge all the time; easy to snap and very insecure. Max knew that she loved him, but they never talked like they use to and that eventually led to a rift between them that seemed to get wider every year.

“So are you little brother.” Isabel replied as she got up from the table where she sat across from her father and pecked him on the check as she walked over to the sink to dump the remainder of her orange juice down the sink. “I actually slept over last night” she continued, “I thought that if I was driving down today, I might as well make it weekend visit”

“That’s good.” was all he could think to respond, as Max pushed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, a habit he had stopped doing a long time ago. Phillip drilled him every time he did it because it showed the world he was nervous and a lawyer could not display any weakness in front of a client, a jury or the media.

“What are you doing here so early?” Philip asked curious at Max’s stance “Did Liz decide to have us over earlier?”

“Max, do you want to have some lunch?” Diane asked as she spooned the contents of what looked like a quiche pan onto a clean plate.

“No Mom. Thanks.” Turning to his father, Max said, “Actually, I was hoping to talk to you all before we headed out to Liz’s.”

“Is this about how we need to behave while we’re there?” Isabel asked as she rolled her eyes. “You can save it, if it’s that, because we’re not little kids, we know what’s at stake.”

“That’s not what it looked like last week when you tore into Liz mercilessly” Max bit back

Isabel lowered her head, ashamed of her reaction last weekend “Yeah, um… I was not at my best last weekend. I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s nice that you apologize for coming into my house and chewing up my guests but I think the apology is best served on Liz’s doorstep” Max said. He knew Isabel was sorry for her reaction. She had told him that when she saw Emily on the ground, turning blue, the only thing she could think of was to pray she would be okay. Isabel admitted that she felt sorry for her parents and their loss time with Emily. The frustration of having heard her father rant all morning had spilt over when she came face to face with Liz at his house. She had said things that were offensive and she regretted it.

“I know, Max.” Isabel said in a lower tone.

“Things have come up since Friday and I need to discuss them with you all before going to Liz’s” Max stated

Everyone’s eyes were on Max and silence engulfed the room.

“What is it, Max?” Phillip asked. He wondered if Liz was having second thoughts about letting them be a part of Emily’s life.

“Can we take this into the Living room?” Max asked

“What’s up Max?” Isabel asked concerned by her brother’s serious tone.

“I just need to say a few things. Can we just talk?” Max said. He then turned and walked toward the living room, hoping that everyone would follow cue.

Diane grabbed a dishcloth and wiping her hands, was the first to follow her son.

Max stood facing the fireplace as Diane and Phillip sat on the sofa and Isabel leaned against the armrest of the same sofa.

“What is it, son?” Diane asked breaking the silence in the room.

Max turned to face his family. He felt like he was facing a firing squad. Was this how Liz felt when she had come to tell them about Emily? No wonder she ran out. He really didn’t know how to start the conversation. He knew that his parents would still love Emily regardless who was her father but he also knew that thinking Emily was Zan’s gave them some solace for their loss. He was going to be taking that away from them and although he would never regret having fathered Emily, he did regret having to hurt his parents again.

“Um… Between yesterday and today I’ve learned a lot of information that has changed my life dramatically. I need to tell you some of the stuff I have found out before we go to Liz’s house because it will change your perspective on things.”

Max’s parents turned to each other with a quizzical look but kept quiet and allowed Max to continue.

“I guess I should first tell you that this afternoon we will be going to Liz’s house but Emily will not be there”

“WHAT?” Everyone shouted and all mayhem seemed to break out

“Let me finish!” Max said in a raised voice hoping not to lose control over the conversation. He knew his father and Isabel were hot headed and he needed to make sure the conversation stayed toned down. “Liz has something’s that she needs to talk about before you meet Emily. I’m not at liberty to discuss that with you, but she has asked me to talk to you about something else.”

“What’s going on Max?” Isabel said, confused by her brother’s attitude. He was standing there in lawyer mode talking to them as if he was addressing the local district attorney.

“In a minute Isabel.” Max interjected before going back to his speech “If you still want to meet Emily after Liz has talked to you, you can stay for an early dinner and meet her then.”

Diane held her husbands hand tightly in hopes that he would not overreact to whatever Max was going to say. She had an ominous feeling about the way Max was addressing them. “That’s fine, son. Go on” She offered.

“Liz wants me to talk to you about what can and cannot be talked about in front of Emily. As she said last week, Emily doesn’t really know who her dad is. She knows that he use to live in Roswell but other than that, she doesn’t know anything.”

“I didn’t know that. I thought Emily knew.” Isabel said surprised. “Emily’s, what? Nine? Ten? And she’s hasn’t asked?”

“Well… we’ve determined she’s curious but, no, she has never asked Liz” Max replied.

“And obviously, Liz has had no inclination of telling her” Phillip added sarcastically

“She is planning on telling her tomorrow; but if you want to meet her today you need to promise not to mention anything to her. No talk about how much she looks like our side of the family, no mention of you being her grandparents and no mention of anything you think Liz did or didn’t do right”

“Are these guidelines and stipulations printed in a booklet for later reference? I wouldn’t want my grandparent privileges taken away…” Phillip said getting upset “Zan would have wanted better for his daughter”

“Phillip! You promised.” Diane warned.

“I couldn’t care less what Zan would have wanted, Dad. Zan has nothing to do with this.” Max said exasperated
“Although Liz would like to take the burdens of the world on her shoulder, it’s not something that I can let her do. Especially in this case… The next thing I want to say is very difficult for me because… well… it’s very personal.” Taking a deep breath Max forged ahead “Emily is not Zan’s daughter.”

“WHAT? What the hell are you talking about?” Phillip boomed

“But… Liz said…She said she was his. She looks like him.” Diane murmured confused by Max’s statement

“Max, I don’t get it. Why tell us all these rules if Emily’s not Zan’s? Why are we even talking about this? ” Isabel asked, just as confused as everyone else. “Liz has gotten us walking around on pins and needles while the child isn’t even Zan’s?”

“She’s my daughter” Max said loud enough so every one would hear him.

Diane’s head snapped back to her son. “What? But…How?”

“How the hell? She was sleeping with BOTH of you?” Isabel blurted unaware of how crude the statement had come out.

“No. She wasn’t” Max replied as calmly as possible

“If she wasn’t sleeping with both of you… How…” Phillip was quietly trying to figure things out on his own but he just couldn’t see how it was possible. Liz had been sure that Emily was Zan’s. He had been a lawyer for a long time and he knew how to read people. When Liz had come over to tell them about Emily she was positive that Emily was Zan’s and Phillip knew that she wouldn’t have been so sure if she were sleeping with both his sons. Phillip looked up at Max and tried to think back ten years. Phillip had been away too often. After Zan’s death the family fell apart. Diane went into denial and Max felt the grunt of it all. Being Zan’s twin had everyone turning to him as a substitute and this was the catalyst to the fall out that almost destroyed them all. Phillip recalled the sense of desperation Max felt of being mistaken for Zan.

Phillip then saw a possibility, but it just couldn’t be. “No. Please don’t let it be.” He said out loud. The possibility was unimaginable. Not Max. But Liz was so sure Emily was Zan’s. Phillip didn’t want to believe it. Didn’t want to think that his son would do such a thing, but the more he thought about it the more it stood out as the only possible reasoning. “What did you do Max?” Phillip finally asked through gritted teeth.

Max recoiled at the tone in his father’s voice and his piercing stare, but stood strong.
Since Liz had left him this morning he had thought of many ways to tell his parents that Emily was his daughter without disrupting things further. If they just stated the facts and didn’t explain how things happened there would be too many questions left without answers. Max knew that his father would think the worse and he couldn’t let anyone think badly of Liz. He just couldn’t allow it. This was the only thing he could think of to spare Liz the embarrassment of having to tell his parents about that night. He knew they would not ask for details if he shouldered the blame. He knew that they would never look at him the same way but would eventually forgive him. He also knew that if Liz had any idea of what he was doing, she would skin him alive. “I pretended to be Zan and slept with her.”

“Holy Shit!” Isabel gasped.

Max let it all out at once in hopes that it would stop any barrage of questions. “I know Emily is my daughter because it was Liz’s first time and Zan died shortly after. Liz never slept with Zan but she did think he had fathered her child. I didn’t know it was her first time. I thought she and Zan had a physical relationship so when she arrived with Emily I never put two and two together. I didn’t confess my deception to her until last night, and then it came to light that she had been with Zan that just one time, the time I was pretending to be him.”
He took a breath but didn’t get a chance to let it out before he realized he was on the floor and Phillip was towering over him.

Max felt the blood ooze into the cavity of his mouth before he felt the pain. He brought his hand up to his face and cringed at where his father had connected with his jaw.

“How could you?” Phillip seethed “How could you do that to her? I raised you to be a man, not a snake!”

Diane sat motionless. She had never seen her husband strike any of their children. Over thirty years of marriage and she had never seen him strike anyone! Isabel stood just a few feet away from her mother petrified at the scene before her.

Max stood slowly and faced his father. “There is no excuse for what I did. I was in love with my best friend. Someone, that also happened to be my brother’s girlfriend. I was 18 and stupid.”

“How can you say you loved her? You don’t do that to someone you love! You betrayed her AND your brother!” Phillip continued to spit out

“What did she say?” Dianne finally asked not looking directly at Max. “You said you confessed this to her. What did she say?”

Max lowered his eyes “She was shocked at first but… she forgave me.”

“How could she forgive you? You violated her. Raped her” Phillip said with a perilously contained anger.

Max flinched at the word rape. ‘I guess that is what it looks like from the outside’ he thought “I don’t know how she forgave me, but I’m grateful and don’t want to question it. Regardless of my actions 10 years ago I loved Liz…” in a softer voice he said, “I still do. After it happened, I was going to tell her. I couldn’t face myself. I did feel remorse for the deception but then… Zan died and I was so confused… I didn’t know where I was going. When I finally got my head on right, Liz had left town. Since she has gotten back I have been trying to talk to her about this but it didn’t happen until last night.”

Phillip eased back a bit. “That’s why. That’s why it was difficult for you after Zan’s death. You got a taste of your own deception.” He was disappointed in Max. He was actually ashamed of Max’s actions but the fact that he was remorseful of his actions help soothe him.

“Be careful what you wish for…” Max said “Zan and I talked about his relationship with Liz the day he died. He knew how I felt for her, knew that he didn’t feel that way for her. He was going to break up with her. It just made me feel worse. Liz and I were going to talk the morning of Zan’s accident, I was going to tell her the truth but it all went to hell. I couldn’t face her after that. Everyone had all these expectations of me and I couldn’t bare Liz placing them on me as well, especially after what I had done to her. It took a long time to get my shit in order and when I was finally ready to face my ghosts, Liz disappeared.”

“And you’ve carried the secret for ten years…” Isabel finished

Max just nodded.

Diane sat quietly. She knew that she had played a big part in Max’s breakdown after Zan’s death. She had spent many months in therapy trying to work out the guilt she felt for not putting her surviving son above her own grief. Max and her had actually gone to a few sessions together and it had strengthened their relationship to a point that Diane knew Max was not telling them the truth. There was much more going on. Diane knew that even at 18, Max was the responsible one. Max shouldered the responsibility for everything. Max would never do what he was admitting to.
Diane also knew that Liz was not one to sleep around, was not one to toy with peoples feeling. There was something that Max didn’t want them to know… Something that might cause pain to someone else… Someone he loved. Diane decided to keep quiet and respect Max’s decision. She knew that eventually they would know the truth, but for now, she would accept Max’s tall tale.

Phillip thought everything was so clear now. It made sense that Max’s breakdown was triggered by guilt. It made sense that Liz would think that Zan was Emily’s father. Of course he was her father, she had never slept with anyone else! He suddenly felt so ashamed of himself. His son had violated her trust on so many levels and yet she forgave him. She had never done anything directly to him and he had judged her and berated her without mercy. He didn’t know how he would face her. Phillip sat down next to his wife and rested his head in his hands.

“Emily is still part of this family and Liz wants us to know her. We talked about the role I’ll play in her life and she wants Em to know I’m her father” Max said, “But she wants to be the one to tell her and I support her decision. I’m asking that you do the same. Liz is a good mother; she’s been through a lot. Before the day is done you will know a lot more about what she has gone through and although my actions have not been the example to follow, I am pleading with you to respect her and to support her.” Max took a step forward and stood in front of his father. “I know I’ve disappointed you. I’m sorry. I hope my actions from this day forward will, someday, redeem me in your eyes.”
Turning to his sister “Please don’t ask Liz about… well… about what I just told you. It’s very personal and I don’t want to bring her more shame than I already have”

Isabel nodded solemnly.

Diane reached out and took Max’s hand “Max…”

Max bent down and kissed his mothers hand “It’s gonna be okay, Mom. Liz and I… we were friends before all this and she has such a big heart… she’s doesn’t resent it and is not bitter. She’s seems okay it turned out this way.”

Phillip raised his head in disbelief “How can she be okay?”

“She said that now Emily has a father… I think her words were… with a pulse.” He said smiling.

Max knew that the comment would not shock his family. After ten years, they could easily talk about Zan and see the good and the bad. They could sit and talk about Christmas and vacations and family memories without pain. They had grieved the loss and come out stronger in the end.

“That is so wrong” Isabel said, a small chuckled caught in her throat as she grabbed her bag off the side chair “Are we going?”

Max nodded. “Are you ready?” He asked his parents.

“We’ll be out in a minute” Diane said, squeezing her son’s hand.

Max turned and followed Isabel, who was headed to the foyer.

Diane and Phillip stayed seated.

“I don’t know if I can face her” Phillip finally said “I… I yelled some pretty awful things to her last time I saw her”

“You have to face her. If Max could face her, you can too. Regardless of how it happened, we have a granddaughter and Liz is letting us be part of her life. Don’t through it back in her face.” Diane said as she stood up.

Phillip raised his eyes to his wife. “You’re right.” He stood up and took her hand.
As he approached the door, Diane tugged on his hand and Phillip looked back at his wife.

Diane lifted her shoulders and stared him straight in the eyes “Don’t you ever hit one of my children again” she said sternly before she walked past a stunned Phillip.

TBC...

[starlady]

~ Chapter 19a ~

“Alex, I think the blue cooler is in the box we left out in the garage.” Liz told Alex who had brought in two bags of ice from the back of the car.

Alex looks at Liz as his shoulders slouch from the weight of the bags. “I thought I had seen Josh putting it out on the patio on Thursday.”

“Nope. That was Emily’s tote bag.” Liz responded not taking her eyes away from the task she was doing. Liz had pulled out some ground beef and after ceremoniously seasoning the meat, she was in the process of forming the meat into patties so they could grill them latter. She already had some pork chops and some kebobs seasoned in the refrigerator. Maria had agreed to bring some Potato salad and some fruit salad to compliment the meal.

Alex sighed and turned to go out the same door he had just come through. “Liz! Is it in the box labeled Summer?”

Liz smiled to herself. Most of the boxes had been labeled summer, seeing as it was that time of year. “Its in summer #5. Serena packed it last.”

Alex came into the house a few minutes later with a collapsible cooler in his hand. Turning to look at Liz in the kitchen, he said, “How difficult could it have been to just buy a new one here? It was at the bottom of the box! Liz, you really need to relax on the money issue.”

Liz turned with her hands in the air full of Worcestershire sauce and garlic. “When I contribute as much as you do to the house expenses, I’ll relax on the money issue, until then, we dig through boxes and use our old cooler”

Alex shook his head and went back out, knowing this was a mute issue. They could argue for hours and he would always lose this one.

Liz peered out the window that was in front of the sink and watched Alex dump the two bags of ice into the cooler. She smiled and returned to the meat in front of her. She was unusually calm for what she knew was going to be a trying day. For some reason she felt the worse was behind her.

She had told Max the truth. Even before she found out that he was Emily’s real father she had dreaded telling him the truth. She knew why she had been so concerned about him knowing. She was afraid he would judge her. She softly laughed. He had never judged her. He was always a great friend because of that. He would sit with her for hours listening to her and never passed judgment.

Liz realized that her parents had become that way too. They gave her space and respected her, even after all the heartache she had brought upon them. They acknowledged that she had grown up while she was away and now… well they were there to listen and not judge. Liz paused; looking up she recalled how her parents had not pushed her when she told them about Max and Emily. She shut her eyes at the thought that they might think less of her. Their daughter had not known who the father of her own child was. The thing was that when Liz looked at them, after she told them, their eyes where still full of love for her. She found no recriminations. Their love did not falter. Liz wished she had had more faith in them when she was eighteen. So many years lost. They accepted what she said and didn’t ask for explanations.

Her mother looked at her and said “Honey, this obviously has you more upset than it would ever have us. We love Emily regardless who helped you bring her to the world. The gift you have given us in Emily will never be overshadowed by how she came to us. Liz, does he know about Emily and her condition?”

Liz nodded. “I told him earlier this morning.”

“Poor, Max.” Jeff said, surprising Liz. “Liz, the man lived at the Crashdown for months after you left. I think he felt almost as much anguish as we did. I think I understand his motives a little better now. I don’t care what happened between you two back then but whatever it was, as a parent, I feel better knowing that he cared deeply for you.”

Liz got up and put her arms around her father’s waist, hugging him tightly. “Thank you, Daddy”, Turning to her Mom, Liz stretched out her arm and pulled her into the hug. “I love you so much.”

Voices coming from the foyer pulled Liz out of her thoughts. Stretching out to look at the driveway, Liz saw the Guerrin van. Maria and Michael arrived.

“Hey, sweet cheeks!” Maria said as she walked into the kitchen holding a big plastic container.

“Maria. Thanks for coming early. You’re the best.” Liz said as she washed out her hands so she could hug her friend.

“No problem. I just dropped off Sammy at your parents. I feel so bad for having them baby-sit. I saw Em and Josh there and I thought I should just call our regular sitter to watch him, but your Mom would have nothing of it. I think she has some masochistic tendencies.”

Liz laughed at her friend as she threw her arms around her for a hug. “I thought about that too but I got the same reaction. Mom said she baby-sits for Sammy on occasions and she said it would be better this way because she would bring all the kids over later.” Looking at Michael who stood talking to Alex at the edge of the kitchen counter “Michael, Max tells me you are an ace in the kitchen?”

Michael rolled his eyes “What do you need?”

Maria smacked his arm “Be nice!”

Liz laughed at her friend’s antics as she opened the refrigerator and pulled out a carafe full of lemonade. “I just was finishing up with some beef patties for the barbeque but I really would like to talk to Maria. Do you mind?” Liz asked as she finished pouring Maria a drink.

Michael shrugged and walked into the kitchen. Washing his hands, he said “Could you have possibly have put more Worcestershire sauce in this meat? You can’t smother the meat in that sauce!” Michael started to open the cupboards “What else do you have here?”

“Come on, Chica. You have no idea what you have unleashed.” Maria said grabbing Liz by the arm and pulling her away from Michael.

Looking over her shoulder, Liz said “Thanks, Michael!” As she passed Alex she leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek “See if he wants a beer. I’ll be back in a bit”

Alex nodded and smiled at the duo. Turning to Michael he came up beside him and putting his arm around his shoulders, he offered “Hey Michael, Liz said to get you a beer…” in a more hushed tone, he continued “but I have some aged whiskey hidden in my room and I think that before Liz gets back with Maria we can have pulled down a few shots… What’d you think?”

Michael turned to Alex and looking over his shoulder to make sure the girls were well out of earshot, he said “Alex, you have become my best friend”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Oh My God!” Maria screeched before Liz put a hand over her mouth to hush her.

“Be quiet, Maria. All of Roswell doesn’t need to know.”

“Does Alex know?” Maria asked

“Of course he knows.” Liz said before seeing the hurt look on Maria’s face “Maria, he lives with me! I was a mess this morning.”

“Yeah, I just miss the way things were before.” Maria sighed. Getting excited again, she started waving her hands all over the place “I can’t believe it was Max that night! God, if you had only known!” Frowning, Maria added “I can’t believe the bastard kept it from me all these years. And after I made him an official girlfriend!”

“Things might have been different if I had known, but the truth is that I don’t know for certain. It’s easy to say I would have done things differently in hind sight but, in that moment, ten years ago, I might have made the same decisions.” Liz said quietly in reflection.

Maria sighed and laid back on Liz’s bed, putting her hand on her growing belly. “I missed this”

Liz laid down beside her. “Me too.”

“He’s going to be a great father to Emily, You know that right? I mean he is the best babysitter. He’s the only one that can get Sammy to sit still for more that a minute. He’s a natural!” Maria commented

“Yeah. I know. He was so excited, Maria. I would have thought he would have been shocked or, I don’t know… confused by it all. I sure was! But he just stepped right up to the plate and didn’t hesitate. It was as if he had actually wanted this.”

“Maybe he did.” Maria said “Liz, the guy adores you and by extension Emily. What’s not to be happy about?”

“He only said he HAD feelings for me, like in the past. His life has changed and well… his feeling most likely have as well.” Liz argued

“Have your feelings changed for him?” Maria inquired “I mean before you left you made some pretty big revelations on that front. I’ve seen the way you interact. I saw the look on your face when you saw him with Sarah. You still have feelings for him. If your feelings haven’t changed for him, why can’t his feelings remain intact?”

Liz was quiet. Maria’s reasoning was too good for her to come up with a viable counterpoint. It made her hope.

Sensing it was good to let her ponder on that thought for a bit, Maria decided to change the subject. Turning to look at Liz, She asked “So, what’s this pow wow you have planned all about? I had thought it was because you needed some moral support when Emily met the family but with the kids at your parents… I’m wondering.”

Liz tensed at the question. She had wanted to tell Maria almost from the first time they had seen each other, she had wanted to curl up in her friends forgiving embrace and spill her guts out; but after she had seen her close relationship with Max she knew she had to wait. There was no way Maria would be able to hide this from Max and so she had kept quiet until she could tell them all. “Maria, I’ve asked everyone to come over because what I have to say is something that I just can’t keep repeating. It’s very difficult. In one week I’ve had to relay the story three times, I need to tell everyone at once.” Liz sat up and turned to Maria “Maria, remember I promised you I wouldn’t keep things from you anymore. I promised that I would share my burdens with you. It’s very hard for me to do that but if I want to get back what we had, I know I have to start sharing my life with you. The good and the bad.”

“I’m assuming this is the bad.” Maria stated

Liz nodded. “I’ve wanted to tell you since that first day we talked but it was a big secret to ask you to keep from Michael and Max. I told my parents when I got here and Kyle knows because he figured it out on his own. I never would have told him before telling you or Max, but he confronted me about it at work and I had to tell him. Then when I found out about Max… I had to tell him too.”

“So… it’s about Emily?” Maria asked

Liz looked up and begged Maria not to ask anymore. Maria pulled Liz into a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m not going to ask. I’ll wait”

“Thanks Maria.” Liz said wrapping her arms around her friend.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“This is good stuff, Alex. Just as good as what Max has stashed in his study.” Michael said taking another sip of his drink. “So, what’s the deal that you have it stashed? Max is just tired of Kyle and I drinking his stock so he tried to hide it” Michael laughed “but we kind of did a sweep of the residence one Sunday and found it.”

“Did I hear my name?” Kyle said as he walked in the open door

“Hey, Man!” Michael said in form of greeting to his old friend “Alex here was bringing out the good stuff. Check it out!”

“Shhh” Alex said taking a peek at the hallway on the second floor “Liz would have a fit!”

“So, what’s the deal with you and her? Is she like, your boss?” Michael asked “Do you two, have a thing?”

“Me and Liz? I don’t think so,” Alex laughed at the assumption. It was one that was commonly made. The next assumption was either that he had a thing for Serena or that he was gay.

“What? She’s hot, I could understand it happening” Michael continued as he poured Kyle a bit of the alcohol

Even though Kyle had been visiting the Parker/Whitman household for the last week, he still couldn’t figure out how Alex could live with someone as attractive as Liz and not have a thing for her. He could easily see why Max had spent all those years mooning for her. During the years she had been away, she not only had gotten more beautiful but also more interesting. She managed to juggle a career where she was well respected and motherhood with, what seemed little effort. On top of that she handled her daughter’s illness with great courage. She was a woman to be admired and Kyle did just that.

“You better not let Maria hear that comment flying out of your mouth. I might have been away for a while but I don’t think Maria has changed that much.” Alex said throwing a look in Michael’s direction

“She definitely hasn’t changed at all” Michael said in a defeated tone.

“I didn’t think so.” Alex chuckled “Anyway, Liz is like a sister to me. When we were in high school it was just the way the dynamics of our friendship was. After you see someone in a certain way, its hard to change.”

“I just don’t know how you do it. If I lived with someone like Liz, I would have had to at least tried.” Kyle said

“And you haven’t met Serena yet!” Alex said, amused at the incredulity in the guys.

“She’s a hottie too?” Michael asked, curious about the missing roommate

“Think Sarah, but grown up. More like a Julianne Moore.” Alex described watching the boys try to picture Serena.

“Damn! She’s hot!” Kyle said “Alex, Are you gay?”

Alex laughed. He knew that one was coming. “No! I’m just a gluten for punishment!”

At that they heard a knock at the door. “Anyone home?” Max’s voice resounded announcing the person in the open doorway.

Alex scurried about to put away the bottle of Scotch while Kyle threw his drink down his throat in one shot. Michael opened the microwave and stuck his glass in there and wiped the kitchen counter from all alcoholic residues.

“Hey! Great to see you guys made it” Alex said as he stretched out his hand to greet Max and his family.

“Are we late?” Max asked noticing that Liz was not there and the house was quiet.

“No, not at all. Liz and Maria are having girl time up in her room.” Alex said as he shook Phillips hand “Mr Evans.”

“Hi Alex. It’s been a while” Phillip responded soberly

“Yes, it’s been too long!” Diane said as she took Alex’s face in her hands to look him over “You’ve grown so much! You filled out very nicely” She said finally pulling him into a tight embrace

“Thanks! Mrs. Evans. It’s great to see you again.” Alex replied returning her hug. Max’s mom was always the neighborhood mom. Their house was the one you usually went to when you just want to hang out. She had feed him enough tollhouse cookies to fill a stadium. Alex always thought she was disappointed she could never put any weight on him.

Alex looked at the remaining Evans who stood shyly at the doorway. Last time they met had started as a great reunion but it turned out to be a disaster. He was still a bit upset over her reaction but this was Emily’s aunt and he needed to make peace with her. If Liz could do it, he could do it as well. Pulling out of Diane’s hug, Alex smiled and extended his hand to Isabel. “It’s nice to see you again Isabel. Come in, Josh is the only wild beast in the house and we have relegated him to the Parkers for a couple of hours.”

Isabel lowered her head and looked at the offering. She stepped in and took Alex’s hand. “Thanks” she said softly and raised her eyes to Alex.

Alex knew she was saying more than just ‘thanks for the greeting’. He quickly squeezed her hand acknowledging her gratitude and pulled her into the house closing the door behind her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Are those voices I hear” Liz said scrambling off the bed and cracking the door to her room a sliver so she could let the voices in. “Oh my god! They’re here!” She said more to confirm it to herself than to let Maria know.

“It’s going to be fine, Liz.” Maria said trying to encourage her friend.

Liz nodded. Everything would be fine. Max said they would all be okay. Everything had to be okay, for Emily. Liz walked to the dresser and looked at herself in the mirror. She quickly pushed back a few strands of hair that had fallen out of her long braid. Taking a deep breath, she headed out the door with Maria following.

She felt her hands tremble as she walked down stairs and she gave them a good shake before reaching the lower level. It looked like a convention of sorts. Everyone was standing around the kitchen counter greeting each other. Alex’s eyes met hers and he smiled reassuring her that everything was fine.

“Hi everyone.” She offered, trying to seem surer of herself than she actually was. “I’m happy you could all make it”

“Liz!” Diane said startled a bit at Liz’s entrance “I didn’t see you”

“I’m sorry, I was upstairs with Maria.” She responded just as Diane pulled her into a hug

“Thank you, Liz” Diane whispered in her ear. ”Thank you for this”

Liz cautiously returned the embrace, a little embarrassed and a little concerned over the statement. The last time she had seen Diane she had been in tears and it was in the middle of what could be called World War 3. Diane pulled back to look at Liz and Liz smiled, still a bit confused.

Liz looked around at everyone else. Phillip stood to the left of Diane. His eyes were downcast trying desperately to go unnoticed. It didn’t work. Isabel stood at the entrance of the hallway that led to the front door and Liz noticed that Kyle had also arrived. She had a full house.

“Mr. Evans. Thank you for taking time to come over. I really appreciate it.” Liz said. Phillip nodded without really raising his head to look at her. She expected him to be more difficult. “Isabel.” Liz said, acknowledging Isabel’s presence. Isabel surprised her by looking straight at her and smiling. Their last meeting had been worse than with Max’s parents. She was really confused now. The whole dynamics of the Evan’s family was completely off. Liz furrowed her brow in confusion but decided to not mess with a good thing. “Kyle did you get here just now as well?”

“No. I was here for a little while. We were just catching up” Kyle said pointing at Alex and Michael.

Liz finally let her eyes settle on Max who seemed to be a little fidgety. His face was turned to the side a bit and he seemed to be avoiding her look. “Max? You okay?” Liz asked a little concerned

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Max responded quickly

Liz nodded and clapped her hands together, rubbing them “Can I get anyone something to drink?”

Michael coughed loudly and Alex elbowed him in the gut. Liz looked at the pair with confusion as she walked into the kitchen.

“I’d love a refill of the lemonade you gave me earlier. That was good stuff! Diane you just have to taste it!” Maria said breaking the tension that had settled in the room.

“I’d love some. Thank you, Liz” Diane responded

“Isabel?” Liz asked, peeking her head from the refrigerator “Would you like some too?”

“That would be nice. Thanks” Isabel said shyly

“Alex! Get these guys some beers! Unless any of you would prefer something else? I also have soda?” Liz offered

“Beers good for me!” Michael chirped as Kyle nodded his agreement

Maria started chatting up Diane and Isabel who had stayed in the kitchen and Alex dragged the guys out to the patio to get them all beers. Max came back in with his beer in hand and looked out to the kitchen where he saw Liz staring at him. She was serving the lemonade and suddenly stopped. Her brows squinted in her effort to see Max and he squirmed under her scrutiny. He was just about to turn around and go back out when she called him.

“Max. Could you come here?” Liz finally said. She could see something was not right but she couldn’t make it out

Max hesitated a few seconds but he knew it was best to just get it out of the way. At least there was not much of a crowd. He walked steadily up to the kitchen counter and placed his beer on it.

Liz’s jaw nearly hit the ground. She knew he didn’t look right! Taking his chin in her hand she turned his face to the right. There, as clear as day, was the beginning of a womper of a bruise. “What the hell happened to your face?” She asked, loud enough to cause the other women in the kitchen to turn and look.

“Damn, Max! Run into a car lately? Maria asked coming up behind Liz to get a good look at Max.

Max softly took Liz’s hand off his face and staring at her responded “I bumped into something earlier. It’s not as bad as it seems.”

“Not as bad as it seems?” Liz asked incredulously. She stared hard at Max looking for the truth as to what had placed that bruise on his face. She had seen enough bruises in the ER to distinguise between one man made and one made by a simple fall.

“It’s really isn’t” He replied softly, pleading that she not make a big deal about it.

Liz turned to Maria “Could you take care of this?” she asked pointing at the carafe of Lemonade on the counter. Maria nodded. Without looking at Diane and Isabel, she grabbed Max’s hand and pulled him in to the hallway leading to Alex’s room “We’ll be right back” she said over her shoulder.

“Liz…” Max protested as he was being dragged into the downstairs bathroom.

Liz closed the door behind them and lowering the cover of the toilet bowl, sat him on it.

Max rolled his eyes in frustration “Liz I’m fine. Really.”

Liz opened the cabinet under the sink and pulled out a pair of disposable gloves from a box they kept there. She then opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a small tube of something, several q-tips and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide.

“Now, Mr. Evans. You are going to tell me how you got that on your face.” Liz said as she put on the gloves.

“I told you. I bumped into something.” Max said

Liz stood in front of Max and with her knees parted his legs so she could scoot in a little closer. Max’s air pipe seemed to close because all he could smell was Liz and not enough air was flowing into his lungs. All of a sudden her proximity, being so unexpected, was making him dizzy. He swallowed tightly as Liz placed her hand on his forehead and pushed his head back. There she stood holding his head in place with one hand, a q-tip in another and staring at him. She didn’t believe a word he said.

At the angle she had Max’s head he would have a hard time closing his mouth, let alone talking. Liz took the opportunity to do the talking as she pushed his mouth open wider and leaned in to check for any damage to the tissue of his mouth. “Max. I thought we were done keeping secrets from each other?” She knew it was a low blow but why waste time with preambles. Liz swiped the q-tip she had in her hand between his gum and his cheek tissue. Max flinched from both the swipe of the foreign object on the sensitive tissue and also from her words.

Pulling out the swab. Liz placed it in Max’s line of vision, showing him that it was covered in dabs of blood. “I’m not a fool, Max. I’m a Doctor. You don’t think I’ve seen my share of injuries to know what caused yours? I was just hoping you could have been honest with me.” Liz said as she grabbed another q-tip and drenched it in peroxide.

Max felt like an idiot himself. “I… I just don’t want you to worry. That’s all. You have enough on your mind.”

Liz pushed his head back again and bent down to look into Max’s mouth as she cleaned the small tear to his gums. “So, you thought that if you lied to me, I wouldn’t worry.” Liz swiped a little too roughly and Max’s hands grabbed onto her jeans in the back of her thighs to avoid pulling back. Liz paused at the contact “Sorry” she said softly.

Exchanging swabs for a new one, she continued her work well aware that Max still held tight to her legs. “You are so infuriating.” She finally said throwing the last q-tip in the trash.

Max loosened his grip on Liz and he felt his shoulders relax when Liz discarded the swab. “They know,” He stated as she leaned against the edge of the counter to pull out another q-tip ‘About Emily and Me.”

Liz froze at the statement. Looking down at Max she put two and two together. “You’re Dad did this to you?” She asked. Liz stepped back, ready to give Phillip a piece of her mind. Max grabbed her jeans again and pulled her back in place. “It’s fine, Liz. We talked about it and we hashed it all out.”

“What did you say, for him to react that way?” Liz asked. Max had been innocent in this whole mess of confused identity. It didn’t make sense that Phillip would lash out at him.

“I told him that you thought I was Zan when Emily was conceived and that the confusion wasn’t cleared up until yesterday.” Max hadn’t exactly lied. He could still look at her and say he wasn’t lying.

“There is more. What are you not telling me? We had agreed that I would be the one to tell them! Why did you do this?” Liz insisted

“No, Liz. I agreed not to go with you to tell your parents and I agreed to be present when my parents were told. You don’t let me win an argument Liz! I was not going to let you tell them. I needed to do this. I think it worked out for the best.” Max said trying not to sound too confrontational.
“Worked out for the best? Max!” Liz said pushing his head back so she could see his whole face “You have a split gumline!”

“It was worth it for me.” Max said proudly “Let me have this, Liz. Please.” He added softly as he gently caressed the back of her jean-clad legs hoping it would calm her.

Liz felt the heat from his hand crawling up her legs and she put her hands on his shoulders for support. She could feel her legs weakening under his touch and she thought they would give out from under her at any moment. “Max…” She said.

“Please, Liz” he pleaded, looking at her with sorrowful eyes

She swept her hands up his neck and cradled the back of his head. “What am I going to do with you?”

‘Love me’ he thought as he forced himself to breath.

They stared at each for a moment, Liz’s hands buried in the hair at the nook of his head and Max holding her close from the back of her legs. Liz could feel the heat rising in the small confines of the room and she forced herself to pull back a bit breaking the trance they had fallen into. “I’m going to let this one go, but from now one we discuss things of this sort together.” Liz said trying to get hold of her bearings.

“You will have to promise me that you will go my way in some of the discussions.” Max insisted

“Fine” Liz said as she grabbed the small tube of antibiotic and put a sliver of gel on the tip of the swab.

Pushing Max’s head back again, she went to administer the gel to the area when Max grabbed her hand.

“I’m serious Liz. It can’t always go your way. I’m a part of this too. You can’t take it all on your shoulders. If you try, I’m going to act on my own.”

Liz looked into his amber eyes and she felt herself get lost in their depth. She slowly nodded her agreement and Max let go of her hand. Silently she put the gel on the torn gum and stepped back out of Max’s reach. Liz moved over to the cabinet under the sink once again and grabbing a small rectangular object from the back of the cabinet, Max saw her fold it in half and heard a crack. She shook it up in her hands and then placed it firmly on his jaw.

“Keep that there for at least half an hour. It should reduce the possibility of swelling” Liz instructed.

Max nodded as he watched her remove her gloves and discard them.

Liz looked at Max “I think we better get out there. The kids should be back in about an hour. I told my parents to bring them over at about 3.”

Max nodded and stood up. Liz made her way to the door and paused as she grabbed the doorknob. “Do they think the worst of me?” Liz asked quietly

Max came up behind her and placing his hand on her hip he whispered in her ear “Never.”

Liz nodded and took a deep breath. Opening the door they stepped out to face their closest family and friends.

TBC...

[starlady]

~* Chapter 19b *~

Liz looked at the deserted kitchen and knew Alex had moved everyone to the living room. Turning, she could see that Diane was seated next to her daughter on the sofa and Maria was sitting on the hand rest of the same sofa enraptured by a tale Kyle was spinning. Alex, Michael and Phillip stood next to the fireplace engaged in a conversation of their own.

Max put his hand on the small of her back and guided her to the group.

“…So, I had to just give up on the whole thing.” They heard Kyle say. He looked up at them and smiled. “Everything alright?” He asked causing everyone to turn and look at them

“Yes, everything is fine” Max said

“I see Liz patched you right up,” Maria said pointing at the ice pack he held in his hand.

“How could I stop her? It’s what she lives for, literally.” Max replied smiling down at Liz

“Well then follow the Doctor’s orders and keep that up against your jaw.” Liz said grabbing the ice pack from his hand and bringing it up to his face once again.

“Yes, Dr. Parker” Max teased holding the pack in place.

Liz turned and looked directly at Phillip with a cold stare. Phillip quickly averted her eyes and moved next to Diane on the sofa.

Diane did not miss the whole scene that played in front of her and she couldn’t contain the smile that was plastering itself on her face. Liz was acting very protective of Max and that just confirmed what she already thought. Max had done nothing to wrong Liz. At least Liz didn’t feel that way. This just feed her curiosity on the nature of Liz and Max’s relationship and also how the parental mismatch came to be. She sighed and thought that she would have to wait and see how this all would work out in the end.

Liz moved to the front of the room and everyone turned their attention to her. Alex quickly settled beside her and she smiled at him for the support he always offered.

“I’ve asked you all here today because you all are part of our lives in one way or the other. Being part of our lives comes with a heavy load and I feel you need to know everything about us so you can make an informed decision whether it’s something that you want to share. I know that I can count on some of you to weather the worst storms with me, and I will be forever grateful but I need to know if you.” Liz said addressing the Evans “want to be part of this”

“Liz, Please know we want Emily in our lives. She is our granddaughter.” Diane said without hesitation.

“I hope you all feel that way.” Liz said with questioning eyes.

“Liz, I owe you an apology.” Isabel said straightening up in her seat “Last week, I said things that I really didn’t mean.”

“Yes you did Isabel.” Liz countered “And it’s perfectly okay. I know you were angry”

Isabel thought for a moment. “I guess, I did mean it at the time. What I want to say is that I regret saying them because I don’t really think those things about you. You have been my brother’s best friend since he was a kid and I knew your character back then. I knew you wouldn’t hurt my family intentionally but still I wanted to hurt you and so I said things with that intention. I know they weren’t true but I said them, and I regret saying them. It was brought to my attention today that your heart is bigger than we all thought and I hope that you will see it in your heart to forgive me. I want to be a part of my niece’s life and that means that I will be part of yours as well. I hope we can start on a new footing.”

Liz knew it had taken a lot for Isabel to apologize so openly to her. Half of the people in the room didn’t know what had happened the previous week at Max’s house, yet she exposed her transgression in front of all. Liz smiled and nodded “I’d really like that, Isabel. Thank you.”

Liz caught movement from the corner of her eye and knew that the next one to speak would be Phillip. She didn’t think she could be as forgiving to him right now. Not because of anything he had done to her but because of what he had just done to Max. Liz quickly moved along halting any thing Phillip would have wanted to say. “We’re going to need all your support in the coming months and I’m grateful for it.”

Liz looked around at those in the room and knew she had to take a more detached approach to this news. It was just too draining on her. “Emily is ill. She suffers of a rare form of juvenile cancer.” Liz heard the common intake of breaths. “It’s rare because it usually strikes people over 60, it’s not common in children Emily’s age. The medical term is DeNova Myelodysplastic Syndrome. De Nova is the classification. It means that the health profession doesn’t know what triggered the occurrence. It’s not inherent and she had not been exposed to anything that could have triggered it. It’s just this big mystery as to why this disease chose Emily.”

No one had interrupted Liz and she realized they were all still in shock. Liz looked up to meet Max’s eyes and she saw that pain was etched in them. This was something that, no matter how many times you are told, it’s always hard to hear. Maria, Michael, the Evans, they all sat staring at her, mouths agape, probably wondering when she would let the clowns in and yell it was all a joke! Kyle on the other hand looked at her with soft eyes, the same look reflected in Alex’s expression; both encouraging her along. So she did just that, knowing that the questions would come soon enough.

“Emily was first diagnosed when she was five.” Liz said

“Oh my god!” Isabel gasped.

They were coming out of the initial shock, Liz thought.

“The symptoms are easily confused with anemia, tired all the time some bruising but when she started getting nose bleeds… well, I thought she needed to be looked at. The disease in its mildest case can easily be treated with a few transfusions. The new blood kind of kick starts her own bone marrow into producing healthy blood. She went through the treatment and she went into remission within a few months. It was during this time that we met Serena and Josh.” Turning to directly address the Evans, Liz clarified “Serena and Joshua are our other housemates. The five of us share a house in Boston. Serena will be joining us later on this week and you will all meet Josh later on today.” Liz then continued her the story of the last four years of her life.

“Josh was Emily’s roommate at the hospital. He had Neuroblastoma, a tumor in the back of his knee. Serena and I bonded over the common experience and we became a support for each other. Josh lost his leg to his disease but he went into remission and has remained that way. Not Emily. Emily had another relapse with her disease within the next two years. It was more aggressive this time and the transfusions weren’t enough. She had her first treatment of chemotherapy at that time.” Liz could hear the soft sobs of Diane. Phillip wrapped his arm around his wife for support. Liz’s own eyes filled with tears remembering how devastating it had been to hear of the relapse, but also because the treatment had dulled the light in Emily’s eyes. It had been such a difficult time for all of them. “The treatment did push Emily back into remission but not as long as we had hoped. Six months ago she came out of remission and all we have been able to do is keep her stable. She received a mild treatment of Chemo but it just stopped the deterioration of further blood cells. The new blood she creates is still diseased. She is on a regimen called supportive care. It’s a series of blood transfusions which at this point just dilutes the bad blood with good, it slows the process of the disease and gives us more time.” Liz finished trying desperately to contain her tears.

“More time for what?” Maria said staring at the floor. She had heard everything and understood it all as well. She just needed to hear it.

“More time to find a bone marrow donor…. Or…. Just more time” Alex replied

“So there is still hope?” Isabel asked

Kyle decided to help the flow of the conversation since Liz was still trying to compose herself “Emily’s only hope for long term survival is to find her a bone marrow donor. The best matches are those of the patient’s siblings and parents. Liz already was tested and she wasn’t a match. I had myself tested after I found out earlier this week.” Kyle confessed “but I wasn’t a match either. I’m sorry, Liz.”

Liz quickly came up to Kyle and threw her arms around him. “Thank you so much Kyle.”

“I didn’t do anything.” Kyle said sheepishly

“You did a lot.” Liz said swiping the tears that had betrayed her.

“But now that we know Max is Emily’s father there is a higher chance.” Isabel deduced out loud.

“What? When did this pop up?” Michael asked looking between Isabel and Max.

Maria reached out and squeezed her husbands hand, “We’ll talk about it later” She said in a hushed tone.

“That’s right” Max said, adding to Isabel’s comment “but it doesn’t assure that I’ll be a match. We’ll have a higher chance of finding Emily a donor if we are all tested.”

“Max!” Liz said. This was not the way she wanted to ask them, but then… How do you ask something like that?

“Of course we’ll be tested” Phillip said jumping forward. The thought of losing his granddaughter before even knowing her was a daunting prospect he didn’t want to know. “What’s involved?”

“It’s just a simple blood test. I went to State General in Albuquerque because that’s where Liz told me Emily was being treated. It takes about a week to get the results; I knew someone in the labs up there and we were able to expedite the process but it still took 5 days. I got my results just yesterday. I’m sure we could set up a donation bank locally at Roswell Memorial and that way no one has to drive all the way to State.” Kyle chimed in.

“We could probably do it on a lunch break” Maria said enthusiastically

Diane wiped the tears that had been streaming down her face and sat up straight “Of course! We could probably get the Women’s Auxiliary to setup a testing center at the high school. We could promote the event at the Crashdown and at the UFO center. You use to work there when you were young.” She said turning to Max “I’m sure Brody would be happy to help.”

“I didn’t even think of that. That’s a great idea, Mom.” Max replied as hope rise in him.

“And I can talk to some of the charity groups I’ve work for in the past. They must have some mailing list or volunteer lists we could use.” Isabel chimed in happy to be able to contribute.

“So… After we find Emily a match what’s involved in the transplant. I mean I’m sure everyone that’s going to be tested will want to know.” Michael asked Liz.

Liz wondered when had the conversation taken a life of it’s own. She was so overwhelmed by the support everyone was giving her she sat on the edge of the coffee table and hiding her face in her hands let out a cry.

“Liz! Are you okay?” Alex asked quickly kneeling beside her and rubbing his hand over her back.

Max almost bounded over the sofa to get to Liz’s side “Liz” He said softly pushing a few strands of hair out of her face “What’s the matter?”

Liz tried to regain her composure once again. “I… I was so scared.” She managed to get out. “I didn’t know… I had no idea how you all were going to take this.”

Liz had thought there would be more accusations. More harsh judgments made. After seeing Max come in the door sporting his new bruise, she had in fact thought it would be worse that she had originally imagined; and yet there was no hurt feelings, there was no recriminations. They didn’t ask questions, they all just started mobilizing themselves in an effort to save her baby. Someone they didn’t even know existed just one week ago.

Diane scooted forward and placed a hand on Liz’s knee. As if reading Liz’s mind, she said “Liz, honey. Emily is not just part of you, she’s part of us. I lost one of my babies and I don’t want to lose another. I couldn’t do anything to save Zan but I’ll be damn if I don’t move heaven and earth to save my grandbaby.”

Liz threw her arms around Diane and hugged her fiercely “Thank you” She said; then raising her eyes, she looked at the group of people that now stood surrounding her “Thank you all.”

“Okay, Okay, I can’t take all this hugging and weeping. I’m too hormonal to let myself go down that road without it being a disaster; so tell us more on the transplant process” Maria said.

Everyone laughed and Liz quickly wiped away her tears.

“Are you okay?” Max asked quietly. Liz looked down at him and smiling at his concern, quickly nodded. She then grabbed his hand, which still held the ice pack and placed it on his face once again. Max shook his head, a smile creeping upon his lip as he stood up. Liz will always be the eternal healer.

The rest of the hour went by with Liz giving them details about how harvesting of bone marrow was done.

“Will I be able to donate if I match?” Maria asked concerned about the advance stage of her pregnancy. She was 6 months along now but she knew that the process that Liz was describing was lengthy and she might be well into her third trimester before the procedure could be done. The general anesthesia could affect her baby and this concerned her.

“I… I don’t know. It’s not my specialty and it never occurred for me to ask. I can find out and let you know.” Liz responded.

“The whole process seems fairly easy on the donor but it sounds quiet harsh on Emily.” Isabel commented

Max had been listening attentively to the details of the transplant process and had also come to the same conclusion.

“It is very harsh on Emily. That’s why it’s best to find a donor now that she is still strong and fairly stable. The longer the wait the more difficult it will be on her.” Liz responded

“Would the transplant be done locally?” Phillip asked “I mean, would she stay in Roswell during the process?”

“Well… we are set up to follow her treatment in State General, they have a larger facility but I am going to request that her supportive care be done locally. It’s a very long drive and she then has to sit through the transfusion. It’s just really too much. I’m going to ask them to allow her to get her care locally. Her transplant would be done at State, though.”

Phillip nodded.

“The services at State are excellent.” Kyle offered “they completely renovated their pediatric ward not more than six months ago; and their oncology group is rated among the three best hospital groups in the state. Emily is in great hands.”

Liz nodded “Her doctor in Boston couldn’t speak more accolades over the physician’s at State General. I feel good about them.”

“Good.” Phillip said as they all heard the knock at the door.

“That should be my parents with the kids.” Liz said standing up nervously.

“I’ll get it” Alex said as he headed towards the door.

Maria got up quickly and followed “I’ll help. Sammy probably has one of your parents crazed by now.”

“My son? NEVER!” Michael said teasing Maria who in turn just rolled her eyes at his antics.

Liz approached the Evans who had stood up and look expectantly at the door “I know Max has spoken to you about what Emily knows about you and I really appreciate your patience. She already suspects something but I want to tell her privately. I promise the next time you see her will be under completely different circumstances.”

“Liz, please. Don’t worry. We know. We’re just happy to be here.” Diane said holding on to Phillips arm for support. Her nerves were all jumbled. She felt like she could jump right out of her skin.

“Okay, Come on” Liz said walking out of the living room and heading toward the door.

Alex opened the door to find Jeff and Nancy with their hands full. Nancy held a squirming Sammy in her arms while Jeff held the form of a sleeping Emily.

“Are we having a party? “ Josh asked pushing through the door as soon as Alex opened it.

“Well hello to you too.” Alex said pushing to the side so the boy would not trample him.

“We ARE! Woo Hoo!” Josh announced

Nancy followed the boy in “Hi Alex” she said pecking him on the check “Josh please don’t yell, you’ll wake up Emily.”

Josh turned back to look at Nancy “Sorry.” He said in a more subdued tone, He then turned and smile widely at the guest. “Are we having a barbeque like last week?” He asked Liz who was approaching him.

“Yes, Joshua.” Liz replied using his full name, something Josh was not keen on. “Why don’t you grab the meat that we have stashed in the fridge so we can get the barbeque rolling.”

“Cool! Hey Aunt Maria!” He said scooting between everyone to get to the kitchen.

“Hey! Where’s my lovin?” Maria said pulling on the end of his t-shirt to halt his escape.

Josh turned around and kissed her cheek, throwing a sideways glance at Michael who was pulling his son from Nancy’s arms. “Michael, Kyle got me that game we were playing last week. I can sooo take you down!”

Michael chuckled “We’ll see about that!”

“He is getting to be quite a handful” Nancy said to Maria who was plastering kisses all over Sammy’s face. “How you’re going to survive another one is beyond me.”

“We’re hoping for a girl this time” Michael chimed in “We’re hoping that it will avoid the conspiring that goes on between boys or at least that’s the theory Maria is trying to sell”

With her hands free Nancy was able to greet the Evans and Kyle.

“Let me take that load off of you Jeff” Alex said taking Emily into his arms. Max looked on with a little envy. It was the first time he had seen Emily since he found out about her being his and it still seemed a little surreal. He wanted to jump into his role as father but at the same time, it felt awkward. Alex just seemed to know what to do and it stung a bit to know that it was due to his years at Liz and Emily’s side.

Emily squirmed a bit before throwing her arms over Alex’s shoulders “Uncle Lala, I don’t want to eat the peas”
Alex passed a hand over her back and soothed her a bit. “I’ll take her upstairs.” He announced softly.

Coming up to her daughter, Liz pushed Emily’s hair back and kissed her forehead. “Has she been napping long?” She asked her parents.

“She fell asleep on her way here” Jeff replied

Liz nodded and knew that they needed to let her sleep. She looked at the Evans with regret. They had been waiting for this moment for so long and now they would have to wait a little longer. She offered them a small smile, “She should be waking up in less than an hour.”

Diane and Phillip were mesmerized at the small form that Alex held in his arms. Her hair was a chocolate color, Diane thought it looked more like Liz’s, it was lose and laid fanned across her back. Her skin was pale and almost translucent, and her body was small and fragile. She looked like a ballerina, so delicate.

Diane came up behind Liz and took a peek at the sleeping child. “She’s beautiful”

Liz gleamed with pride. Taking her daughter’s hand, she pressed another kiss on it before Alex took Emily away and put her to bed.

“Hey! I need someone to turn on the grill” Josh called from the patio doors

“Josh, come here” Max called.

Josh looked over his shouldered at the meat that laid on the small table next to the grill, he ran over to the grill and covered the plastic containers before returning to the house.

Max smiled at Josh and putting his arm over his shoulder he brought him over to his family.

“Josh, I want you to meet my family. This is my mother, my father and that one over there” He said pointing to Isabel who was chatting with Maria and Liz “is my sister, Isabel. Mom, Dad, this is Josh. He is not only and excellent runner but also is very handy to have around to interpret all things Japanese.”

Josh smiled shyly at the couple and extended his hand “Nice to meet you” He said

“I’ve heard many nice things about you today, Josh. I’m happy to meet you.” Phillip said shaking his hand firmly and then patting him on the shoulder.

“Ah, but what Max didn’t mention was that our Josh here is a basketball genius, in a week he has mastered the sport enough to take on little Max here.” Kyle said joining the group and ruffling Josh’s hair. Josh quickly swatted the hand away “Who did that to your hair, Josh?” Kyle asked referring to the yellow spikes that adorned Josh’s usually burgundy hair.

“Yeah, what’s up with the hair? A skunk family adopt you?” Michael added as he joined the gathering with his son hoisted upon his shoulders

“Michael! That’s a terrible thing to say! If I were you I would stay away from passing judgment on questionable hairstyles. If I recall you’ve seen your share of…” Diane started

“Okay, Okay, Mrs. E. We don’t want to give the child any ammunition” Michael interrupted.

Diane laughed at Michael’s antics. “It ‘s a pleasure to meet you, Josh” Diane said shaking Josh’s hand “and if any of these young men give you a hard time, you let me know. I’ll put them in their place.”

Josh smiled at Diane and nodded as if he was scheming “That’s good to know. Thank you.”

Max put his arm around Josh’s shoulder and turned to the patio “Now, let’s see what we can do about that grill”

Josh turned to take another look at the Evans and then looked at Isabel. He recalled them from the picture he and Emily had seen in Max’s house. There was one missing. The one that looked like Uncle Max. There was a reason why they were here. He hadn’t met Aunt Maria’s family or Kyle’s or Michael’s, he still hadn’t even met Uncle Lala’s family; yet all of Uncle Max’s family was here. Turning to look up at Max, Josh thought ‘Emily has to be wrong’.

TBC...

[starlady]

~* Chapter 19b *~

Liz looked at the deserted kitchen and knew Alex had moved everyone to the living room. Turning, she could see that Diane was seated next to her daughter on the sofa and Maria was sitting on the hand rest of the same sofa enraptured by a tale Kyle was spinning. Alex, Michael and Phillip stood next to the fireplace engaged in a conversation of their own.

Max put his hand on the small of her back and guided her to the group.

“…So, I had to just give up on the whole thing.” They heard Kyle say. He looked up at them and smiled. “Everything alright?” He asked causing everyone to turn and look at them

“Yes, everything is fine” Max said

“I see Liz patched you right up,” Maria said pointing at the ice pack he held in his hand.

“How could I stop her? It’s what she lives for, literally.” Max replied smiling down at Liz

“Well then follow the Doctor’s orders and keep that up against your jaw.” Liz said grabbing the ice pack from his hand and bringing it up to his face once again.

“Yes, Dr. Parker” Max teased holding the pack in place.

Liz turned and looked directly at Phillip with a cold stare. Phillip quickly averted her eyes and moved next to Diane on the sofa.

Diane did not miss the whole scene that played in front of her and she couldn’t contain the smile that was plastering itself on her face. Liz was acting very protective of Max and that just confirmed what she already thought. Max had done nothing to wrong Liz. At least Liz didn’t feel that way. This just feed her curiosity on the nature of Liz and Max’s relationship and also how the parental mismatch came to be. She sighed and thought that she would have to wait and see how this all would work out in the end.

Liz moved to the front of the room and everyone turned their attention to her. Alex quickly settled beside her and she smiled at him for the support he always offered.

“I’ve asked you all here today because you all are part of our lives in one way or the other. Being part of our lives comes with a heavy load and I feel you need to know everything about us so you can make an informed decision whether it’s something that you want to share. I know that I can count on some of you to weather the worst storms with me, and I will be forever grateful but I need to know if you.” Liz said addressing the Evans “want to be part of this”

“Liz, Please know we want Emily in our lives. She is our granddaughter.” Diane said without hesitation.

“I hope you all feel that way.” Liz said with questioning eyes.

“Liz, I owe you an apology.” Isabel said straightening up in her seat “Last week, I said things that I really didn’t mean.”

“Yes you did Isabel.” Liz countered “And it’s perfectly okay. I know you were angry”

Isabel thought for a moment. “I guess, I did mean it at the time. What I want to say is that I regret saying them because I don’t really think those things about you. You have been my brother’s best friend since he was a kid and I knew your character back then. I knew you wouldn’t hurt my family intentionally but still I wanted to hurt you and so I said things with that intention. I know they weren’t true but I said them, and I regret saying them. It was brought to my attention today that your heart is bigger than we all thought and I hope that you will see it in your heart to forgive me. I want to be a part of my niece’s life and that means that I will be part of yours as well. I hope we can start on a new footing.”

Liz knew it had taken a lot for Isabel to apologize so openly to her. Half of the people in the room didn’t know what had happened the previous week at Max’s house, yet she exposed her transgression in front of all. Liz smiled and nodded “I’d really like that, Isabel. Thank you.”

Liz caught movement from the corner of her eye and knew that the next one to speak would be Phillip. She didn’t think she could be as forgiving to him right now. Not because of anything he had done to her but because of what he had just done to Max. Liz quickly moved along halting any thing Phillip would have wanted to say. “We’re going to need all your support in the coming months and I’m grateful for it.”

Liz looked around at those in the room and knew she had to take a more detached approach to this news. It was just too draining on her. “Emily is ill. She suffers of a rare form of juvenile cancer.” Liz heard the common intake of breaths. “It’s rare because it usually strikes people over 60, it’s not common in children Emily’s age. The medical term is DeNova Myelodysplastic Syndrome. De Nova is the classification. It means that the health profession doesn’t know what triggered the occurrence. It’s not inherent and she had not been exposed to anything that could have triggered it. It’s just this big mystery as to why this disease chose Emily.”

No one had interrupted Liz and she realized they were all still in shock. Liz looked up to meet Max’s eyes and she saw that pain was etched in them. This was something that, no matter how many times you are told, it’s always hard to hear. Maria, Michael, the Evans, they all sat staring at her, mouths agape, probably wondering when she would let the clowns in and yell it was all a joke! Kyle on the other hand looked at her with soft eyes, the same look reflected in Alex’s expression; both encouraging her along. So she did just that, knowing that the questions would come soon enough.

“Emily was first diagnosed when she was five.” Liz said

“Oh my god!” Isabel gasped.

They were coming out of the initial shock, Liz thought.

“The symptoms are easily confused with anemia, tired all the time some bruising but when she started getting nose bleeds… well, I thought she needed to be looked at. The disease in its mildest case can easily be treated with a few transfusions. The new blood kind of kick starts her own bone marrow into producing healthy blood. She went through the treatment and she went into remission within a few months. It was during this time that we met Serena and Josh.” Turning to directly address the Evans, Liz clarified “Serena and Joshua are our other housemates. The five of us share a house in Boston. Serena will be joining us later on this week and you will all meet Josh later on today.” Liz then continued her the story of the last four years of her life.

“Josh was Emily’s roommate at the hospital. He had Neuroblastoma, a tumor in the back of his knee. Serena and I bonded over the common experience and we became a support for each other. Josh lost his leg to his disease but he went into remission and has remained that way. Not Emily. Emily had another relapse with her disease within the next two years. It was more aggressive this time and the transfusions weren’t enough. She had her first treatment of chemotherapy at that time.” Liz could hear the soft sobs of Diane. Phillip wrapped his arm around his wife for support. Liz’s own eyes filled with tears remembering how devastating it had been to hear of the relapse, but also because the treatment had dulled the light in Emily’s eyes. It had been such a difficult time for all of them. “The treatment did push Emily back into remission but not as long as we had hoped. Six months ago she came out of remission and all we have been able to do is keep her stable. She received a mild treatment of Chemo but it just stopped the deterioration of further blood cells. The new blood she creates is still diseased. She is on a regimen called supportive care. It’s a series of blood transfusions which at this point just dilutes the bad blood with good, it slows the process of the disease and gives us more time.” Liz finished trying desperately to contain her tears.

“More time for what?” Maria said staring at the floor. She had heard everything and understood it all as well. She just needed to hear it.

“More time to find a bone marrow donor…. Or…. Just more time” Alex replied

“So there is still hope?” Isabel asked

Kyle decided to help the flow of the conversation since Liz was still trying to compose herself “Emily’s only hope for long term survival is to find her a bone marrow donor. The best matches are those of the patient’s siblings and parents. Liz already was tested and she wasn’t a match. I had myself tested after I found out earlier this week.” Kyle confessed “but I wasn’t a match either. I’m sorry, Liz.”

Liz quickly came up to Kyle and threw her arms around him. “Thank you so much Kyle.”

“I didn’t do anything.” Kyle said sheepishly

“You did a lot.” Liz said swiping the tears that had betrayed her.

“But now that we know Max is Emily’s father there is a higher chance.” Isabel deduced out loud.

“What? When did this pop up?” Michael asked looking between Isabel and Max.

Maria reached out and squeezed her husbands hand, “We’ll talk about it later” She said in a hushed tone.

“That’s right” Max said, adding to Isabel’s comment “but it doesn’t assure that I’ll be a match. We’ll have a higher chance of finding Emily a donor if we are all tested.”

“Max!” Liz said. This was not the way she wanted to ask them, but then… How do you ask something like that?

“Of course we’ll be tested” Phillip said jumping forward. The thought of losing his granddaughter before even knowing her was a daunting prospect he didn’t want to know. “What’s involved?”

“It’s just a simple blood test. I went to State General in Albuquerque because that’s where Liz told me Emily was being treated. It takes about a week to get the results; I knew someone in the labs up there and we were able to expedite the process but it still took 5 days. I got my results just yesterday. I’m sure we could set up a donation bank locally at Roswell Memorial and that way no one has to drive all the way to State.” Kyle chimed in.

“We could probably do it on a lunch break” Maria said enthusiastically

Diane wiped the tears that had been streaming down her face and sat up straight “Of course! We could probably get the Women’s Auxiliary to setup a testing center at the high school. We could promote the event at the Crashdown and at the UFO center. You use to work there when you were young.” She said turning to Max “I’m sure Brody would be happy to help.”

“I didn’t even think of that. That’s a great idea, Mom.” Max replied as hope rise in him.

“And I can talk to some of the charity groups I’ve work for in the past. They must have some mailing list or volunteer lists we could use.” Isabel chimed in happy to be able to contribute.

“So… After we find Emily a match what’s involved in the transplant. I mean I’m sure everyone that’s going to be tested will want to know.” Michael asked Liz.

Liz wondered when had the conversation taken a life of it’s own. She was so overwhelmed by the support everyone was giving her she sat on the edge of the coffee table and hiding her face in her hands let out a cry.

“Liz! Are you okay?” Alex asked quickly kneeling beside her and rubbing his hand over her back.

Max almost bounded over the sofa to get to Liz’s side “Liz” He said softly pushing a few strands of hair out of her face “What’s the matter?”

Liz tried to regain her composure once again. “I… I was so scared.” She managed to get out. “I didn’t know… I had no idea how you all were going to take this.”

Liz had thought there would be more accusations. More harsh judgments made. After seeing Max come in the door sporting his new bruise, she had in fact thought it would be worse that she had originally imagined; and yet there was no hurt feelings, there was no recriminations. They didn’t ask questions, they all just started mobilizing themselves in an effort to save her baby. Someone they didn’t even know existed just one week ago.

Diane scooted forward and placed a hand on Liz’s knee. As if reading Liz’s mind, she said “Liz, honey. Emily is not just part of you, she’s part of us. I lost one of my babies and I don’t want to lose another. I couldn’t do anything to save Zan but I’ll be damn if I don’t move heaven and earth to save my grandbaby.”

Liz threw her arms around Diane and hugged her fiercely “Thank you” She said; then raising her eyes, she looked at the group of people that now stood surrounding her “Thank you all.”

“Okay, Okay, I can’t take all this hugging and weeping. I’m too hormonal to let myself go down that road without it being a disaster; so tell us more on the transplant process” Maria said.

Everyone laughed and Liz quickly wiped away her tears.

“Are you okay?” Max asked quietly. Liz looked down at him and smiling at his concern, quickly nodded. She then grabbed his hand, which still held the ice pack and placed it on his face once again. Max shook his head, a smile creeping upon his lip as he stood up. Liz will always be the eternal healer.

The rest of the hour went by with Liz giving them details about how harvesting of bone marrow was done.

“Will I be able to donate if I match?” Maria asked concerned about the advance stage of her pregnancy. She was 6 months along now but she knew that the process that Liz was describing was lengthy and she might be well into her third trimester before the procedure could be done. The general anesthesia could affect her baby and this concerned her.

“I… I don’t know. It’s not my specialty and it never occurred for me to ask. I can find out and let you know.” Liz responded.

“The whole process seems fairly easy on the donor but it sounds quiet harsh on Emily.” Isabel commented

Max had been listening attentively to the details of the transplant process and had also come to the same conclusion.

“It is very harsh on Emily. That’s why it’s best to find a donor now that she is still strong and fairly stable. The longer the wait the more difficult it will be on her.” Liz responded

“Would the transplant be done locally?” Phillip asked “I mean, would she stay in Roswell during the process?”

“Well… we are set up to follow her treatment in State General, they have a larger facility but I am going to request that her supportive care be done locally. It’s a very long drive and she then has to sit through the transfusion. It’s just really too much. I’m going to ask them to allow her to get her care locally. Her transplant would be done at State, though.”

Phillip nodded.

“The services at State are excellent.” Kyle offered “they completely renovated their pediatric ward not more than six months ago; and their oncology group is rated among the three best hospital groups in the state. Emily is in great hands.”

Liz nodded “Her doctor in Boston couldn’t speak more accolades over the physician’s at State General. I feel good about them.”

“Good.” Phillip said as they all heard the knock at the door.

“That should be my parents with the kids.” Liz said standing up nervously.

“I’ll get it” Alex said as he headed towards the door.

Maria got up quickly and followed “I’ll help. Sammy probably has one of your parents crazed by now.”

“My son? NEVER!” Michael said teasing Maria who in turn just rolled her eyes at his antics.

Liz approached the Evans who had stood up and look expectantly at the door “I know Max has spoken to you about what Emily knows about you and I really appreciate your patience. She already suspects something but I want to tell her privately. I promise the next time you see her will be under completely different circumstances.”

“Liz, please. Don’t worry. We know. We’re just happy to be here.” Diane said holding on to Phillips arm for support. Her nerves were all jumbled. She felt like she could jump right out of her skin.

“Okay, Come on” Liz said walking out of the living room and heading toward the door.

Alex opened the door to find Jeff and Nancy with their hands full. Nancy held a squirming Sammy in her arms while Jeff held the form of a sleeping Emily.

“Are we having a party? “ Josh asked pushing through the door as soon as Alex opened it.

“Well hello to you too.” Alex said pushing to the side so the boy would not trample him.

“We ARE! Woo Hoo!” Josh announced

Nancy followed the boy in “Hi Alex” she said pecking him on the check “Josh please don’t yell, you’ll wake up Emily.”

Josh turned back to look at Nancy “Sorry.” He said in a more subdued tone, He then turned and smile widely at the guest. “Are we having a barbeque like last week?” He asked Liz who was approaching him.

“Yes, Joshua.” Liz replied using his full name, something Josh was not keen on. “Why don’t you grab the meat that we have stashed in the fridge so we can get the barbeque rolling.”

“Cool! Hey Aunt Maria!” He said scooting between everyone to get to the kitchen.

“Hey! Where’s my lovin?” Maria said pulling on the end of his t-shirt to halt his escape.

Josh turned around and kissed her cheek, throwing a sideways glance at Michael who was pulling his son from Nancy’s arms. “Michael, Kyle got me that game we were playing last week. I can sooo take you down!”

Michael chuckled “We’ll see about that!”

“He is getting to be quite a handful” Nancy said to Maria who was plastering kisses all over Sammy’s face. “How you’re going to survive another one is beyond me.”

“We’re hoping for a girl this time” Michael chimed in “We’re hoping that it will avoid the conspiring that goes on between boys or at least that’s the theory Maria is trying to sell”

With her hands free Nancy was able to greet the Evans and Kyle.

“Let me take that load off of you Jeff” Alex said taking Emily into his arms. Max looked on with a little envy. It was the first time he had seen Emily since he found out about her being his and it still seemed a little surreal. He wanted to jump into his role as father but at the same time, it felt awkward. Alex just seemed to know what to do and it stung a bit to know that it was due to his years at Liz and Emily’s side.

Emily squirmed a bit before throwing her arms over Alex’s shoulders “Uncle Lala, I don’t want to eat the peas”
Alex passed a hand over her back and soothed her a bit. “I’ll take her upstairs.” He announced softly.

Coming up to her daughter, Liz pushed Emily’s hair back and kissed her forehead. “Has she been napping long?” She asked her parents.

“She fell asleep on her way here” Jeff replied

Liz nodded and knew that they needed to let her sleep. She looked at the Evans with regret. They had been waiting for this moment for so long and now they would have to wait a little longer. She offered them a small smile, “She should be waking up in less than an hour.”

Diane and Phillip were mesmerized at the small form that Alex held in his arms. Her hair was a chocolate color, Diane thought it looked more like Liz’s, it was lose and laid fanned across her back. Her skin was pale and almost translucent, and her body was small and fragile. She looked like a ballerina, so delicate.

Diane came up behind Liz and took a peek at the sleeping child. “She’s beautiful”

Liz gleamed with pride. Taking her daughter’s hand, she pressed another kiss on it before Alex took Emily away and put her to bed.

“Hey! I need someone to turn on the grill” Josh called from the patio doors

“Josh, come here” Max called.

Josh looked over his shouldered at the meat that laid on the small table next to the grill, he ran over to the grill and covered the plastic containers before returning to the house.

Max smiled at Josh and putting his arm over his shoulder he brought him over to his family.

“Josh, I want you to meet my family. This is my mother, my father and that one over there” He said pointing to Isabel who was chatting with Maria and Liz “is my sister, Isabel. Mom, Dad, this is Josh. He is not only and excellent runner but also is very handy to have around to interpret all things Japanese.”

Josh smiled shyly at the couple and extended his hand “Nice to meet you” He said

“I’ve heard many nice things about you today, Josh. I’m happy to meet you.” Phillip said shaking his hand firmly and then patting him on the shoulder.

“Ah, but what Max didn’t mention was that our Josh here is a basketball genius, in a week he has mastered the sport enough to take on little Max here.” Kyle said joining the group and ruffling Josh’s hair. Josh quickly swatted the hand away “Who did that to your hair, Josh?” Kyle asked referring to the yellow spikes that adorned Josh’s usually burgundy hair.

“Yeah, what’s up with the hair? A skunk family adopt you?” Michael added as he joined the gathering with his son hoisted upon his shoulders

“Michael! That’s a terrible thing to say! If I were you I would stay away from passing judgment on questionable hairstyles. If I recall you’ve seen your share of…” Diane started

“Okay, Okay, Mrs. E. We don’t want to give the child any ammunition” Michael interrupted.

Diane laughed at Michael’s antics. “It ‘s a pleasure to meet you, Josh” Diane said shaking Josh’s hand “and if any of these young men give you a hard time, you let me know. I’ll put them in their place.”

Josh smiled at Diane and nodded as if he was scheming “That’s good to know. Thank you.”

Max put his arm around Josh’s shoulder and turned to the patio “Now, let’s see what we can do about that grill”

Josh turned to take another look at the Evans and then looked at Isabel. He recalled them from the picture he and Emily had seen in Max’s house. There was one missing. The one that looked like Uncle Max. There was a reason why they were here. He hadn’t met Aunt Maria’s family or Kyle’s or Michael’s, he still hadn’t even met Uncle Lala’s family; yet all of Uncle Max’s family was here. Turning to look up at Max, Josh thought ‘Emily has to be wrong’.

~* Chapter 19c *~

Emily stretched out languidly on her bed. Her arms touched the wall in back of her head and her toes curled into little claws. She heard noises coming from downstairs, voices. She tried to listen carefully to see if she could make out who it was, but the rustling of the top bunk hindered her ability to identify the people downstairs. “Josh?” Emily asked, already knowing it was her best friend.

Josh’s head peaked over the edge of the bunk to look down at the small figure occupying the bed. “Good! You finally woke up!”

“What are you doing?” Emily inquired. Josh wasn’t one to take naps. He had all the energy Emily lacked and then some.

“I sneaked upstairs a little while ago hoping to catch you awake but, today of all days, you decide to sleep in!” Josh replied swinging his legs over the edge of the bunk and slipping down to the floor.

“Who’s downstairs?” Emily asked

“Everyone! Aunt Maria, Michael, Kyle, Uncle Max and… his family” Josh replied letting the last part float in the air. He looked at Emily with his eyebrows arched hoping she would see the meaning of the guest list.

Emily shot up in bed. “They’re here?”

Josh nodded. “His mom is really cool. Like Grandma Nancy.”

“Is he here, too?” Emily asked hoping to get a peak at the mysterious man that was a mirror image of her Uncle Max.

Josh shook his head “Everyone else is here. The girl is his sister, Isabel.”

“Why do you think he didn’t come?” Emily questioned with a tone that let Josh know that she was disappointed.

“Maybe, because it’s not him?” Josh replied stating what was obvious to him.

“It has to be him. Josh, you didn’t see the look on uncle Max’s face. He’s not my dad.” Emily said quite certain of her statement.

“Why are girls like this? It must me inbred. Sometimes you act, so not like a girl, and then you act like this.” Josh said as he stood up to leave.

Emily grabbed his wrist before he got out of reach. Josh looked back to see Emily’s puppy dog eyes. He shook his head and sat back down.

“Em, think about it. Aunt Liz, talked about Aunt Maria and Uncle Max, she never talked about another guy.” Josh stood up again but this time Emily let him walk over to the desk. He went rifling over some boxes and Emily watched him pull out a small cylindrical container. Returning to the bed, he pulled the top off and retrieved a sleuth of lose papers.

Laying out the papers in front of Emily, he pushed aside the few pages that had been ripped out of Anime America. Emily stretched out and grabbed the paper, she knew, he was looking for. Turning on the small flashlight she kept pinned within the springs of the upper bunk.

“See, She talked about everyone on this list. Mrs. Deluca must be Aunt Maria’s mom.” Josh pointed out

Emily nodded “She’s the pie lady”

“But there is no mention of Uncle Max’s family. Why would Aunt Liz not talk about Uncle Max’s brother if he were your dad? It doesn’t make sense”

“How do you know it’s his brother” Emily asked still looking at the fluorescent pink paper in Josh’s hand

Josh looked at his friend incredulously “You’re kidding right? They’re identical! They have to be brothers, if not twins!”

Emily nodded her acknowledgement. “Maybe he was a bad man.”

“Aunt Liz wouldn’t let your dad be a bad man.” Josh said trying to brush away his friend’s concern.

“Maybe, he didn’t want me?” Emily said trying to find excuses for a missing father.

“I doubt that.” Josh replied as he stuffed the papers back into the cylinder

“Why? It happened to you” Emily asked

“Have we not discussed this before? I’m not a cute and cuddly little girl” Josh noted as he lifted the ends of Emily’s hair over her head and let it fall like a cascade over her shoulders “anyway, my dad was a jerk!”

“My dad could be a jerk, too.” Emily offered

“Forget it!” Josh said walking over to the desk again. He pushed the small cylinder under several papers. Turning to look at Emily he continued “I’m telling you its Uncle Max; but if you want to find out about the other guy, we have a good chance today.”

Emily scooted out of the bed and slipped on the small sneakers that lay at her bedside. “Let’s take a peak”

Josh walked over to the door to their room and slid to the ground opening it just enough to let him and Emily crawl out to the hallway that looked over the living room, an angle that also offered a good view of the patio door.

“I feel like I’m Chidori and you’re Sagara Souske!” Emily giggled remembering a couple from one of her favorite anime shows.

“Oh, yeah… We really look like them… especially with your blue hair and all” Josh whispered, his words dripping with sarcasm “now, be quiet or they’ll hear us”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Sorry, I can’t offer a real pool like at Max’s” Liz said apologetically as they sat around the small wadding pool in which Sammy was happily splashing.

“Oh, Please! Every time I go over there I feel as if my heart is in my throat. Sammy can’t go in on his own and Michael seems to find perverse pleasure in diving in the pool with our son. He says he’s teaching him how to swim. I much prefer this.” Maria responded, sticking her feet in the water to tickle her son. “Do you remember how we use to sit in one of these, you used to keep one on your balcony for when it got really hot? Max used to squeeze between us and we always harassed him because he got to wear fewer clothes than we did.”

Liz laughed at the memory.

“As I recall, you didn’t wear much on the clothes front, back then” Max said coming up behind Maria “The bikinis you put on were little scraps of nylon”

“Oh, please! Like that really bothered you. You were almost as hormonal as I am now” Maria replied. Grabbing his arm, Maria pulled him down to her level and gave him a good smack on the back of his head “That’s for not being a good girlfriend. Your status has been revoked!”

Max rubbed the back of his head and looked at Maria as if she had gone insane “What did I do?”

“You know very well what you did and that was for not telling me that you DID IT!” Maria emphasized the last words as she opened her eyes and stared at Max.

Comprehension dawned on him and he squirmed a little. Maria was Liz’s best friend, it would be natural for Liz to tell her and Max was sure she knew more details of that night than he was comfortable sharing. “You know… I think I need to go and help Michael turn the burgers.” He said as he scooted over to the grill leaving Maria and Liz giggling at his reaction.

“You are soo mean!” Liz said

“Serves him right!” Maria replied nodding her head.

“I can’t believe I’m actually laughing with you about this. This morning I was a basket case.” Liz pondered

“Girl, You need to relax! “ Maria said extending her hand to cover Liz’s “We’re sharing the load, right?”

Liz squeezed Maria’s hand “Yes. We are.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Alex grabbed the cups that were on the patio table where The Evans were chatting with The Parkers. “Anyone want a refill?” He asked.

“Oh, sweetie, you don’t have to serve us. We can get it.” Nancy said.

“Actually, I’m headed to the kitchen and wouldn’t mind. You know what?” Alex said thinking a minute “I’m just going to bring the carafe out here. The soda is in the cooler next to the sliding door and I’m sure that the lemonade will fit in there.” Putting the cups down again, he turned to leave.

Isabel jumped up from her seat as she saw Alex move away from the table. “Let me help you.”

“You don’t have to. I’m okay.” Alex replied

“No, PLEASE let me help you.” Isabel said as her eyes widened in a plea.

Alex smiled and conceded, “Actually, I just might need some help.”

“We’ll be right back.” Isabel said over her shoulder

Diane and Phillip looked at each other, eyebrows raised in suspicion.

“So, what does Alex do for a living that he can just pick up and leave like he did?” Phillip asked the Parkers.

“He’s in the computer business” Jeff replied, “It seems that the company he works for has an office down in Clovis and they are letting him doing something with televisions.”

Phillip looked at Jeff utterly confused by the statement.

Nancy smacked Jeff’s arm. “Jeff doesn’t know what he’s talking about, Phillip. Alex is… telecommuting? I think that’s what it’s called”

“I see!” Phillip said, happy that he was somewhat computer literate. “That was very nice of his company to allow him that liberty. I mean not all companies will allow something like that for an extended length of time.”

“Well, it seems that our little Alex is their treasure and they really didn’t want him to leave.” Nancy stated proud of the man Alex had become.

“But he was always into that. I remember the weekends he would spend in front of Max’s computer, fixing this and adding that.” Diane said, “I’m so happy that Liz had his support”

“We have much to be grateful to him for.” Jeff said wistfully “God knows where our baby would be, if it wasn’t for him.”

“Emily and Josh are very attached to him. Josh’s father abandoned his mother shortly after his birth so Alex has been the only stable father figure in both their lives” Nancy said

Diane looked over to the grill, at where Max stood talking to Kyle and Michael. The reaction didn’t go unnoticed by Nancy.

“You know.” Nancy announced “About Max and Emily.”

Diane looked at her husband before nodding at the statement. “Max told us this morning” She confirmed

Jeff and Nancy looked at each other momentarily before Jeff asked, “How does he feel about it?”

Diane thought about that morning and the way Max has spoken to them. “Ashamed and Proud” she replied.

Jeff didn’t understand the response. The feelings were contradictory and it didn’t make much sense. Nancy on the other hand had a better idea of what Diane was saying.

Seeing the confusion on Jeff’s face Diane clarified. “Ashamed for not being there for Liz, and very proud of Emily being his.”

Jeff nodded his understanding. That was the Max he knew. He was not a boy that took his responsibilities lightly. He knew Max was going to be a permanent figure in his daughter’s life.

“I don’t know how Liz could be so forgiving. She’s… She’s incredible.” Phillip said looking at Liz and Maria splashing water with their feet onto Sammy, who was giggling whole-heartedly.

Nancy was not certain what forgiveness was needed but she thought it might have to do with guilt that Max might be feeling for leaving her to raise their child alone. “There is no time to hold grudges. I think Liz has made us quite aware that the time we spend resenting the past is less time we are putting into enjoying our present and securing our future.”

Diane stretched out her hand and took Nancy’s. “I couldn’t have said it better. We have a grandbaby to love.” Turning to look at Phillip she finished her statement “and I won’t waste a minute more than I have to.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt so old” Isabel said as she walked behind Alex in to the kitchen.

“Why would you say that?” Alex questioned.

“Didn’t you see? I was relegated to the ADULT table” Isabel said in a mock huff

Alex chuckled, “Sorry about that. I’ll keep an eye out for you in the future”

Upstairs, hidden from plain sight, Josh poked Emily in the ribs with his elbow. “You don’t look like her but that doesn’t mean anything” he whispered.

“She’s really tall. Almost as tall as Uncle Lala” Emily said in astonishment.

Josh nodded his agreement “Shhh. they’re talking”

“Alex, I wanted to talk to you because I realize that I not only owed Liz an apology but you as well. I’m really sorry for what happened last weekend…” Isabel started as she grabbed a kitchen towel and started folding it in a nervous habit.

“Isabel.” Alex interrupted “You don’t owe me anything. You apologized to Liz and she accepted it. It’s water under the bridge.”

Emily and Josh looked at each other; confused at the conversation they were hearing.

“That’s not true.” Isabel said, “I attacked you as well. I questioned your honorability, even threw it in your face. I shouldn’t have. You are an incredible person. What you have done for Liz, for Emily… I’m really sorry for what I said.”

“What I do for Liz and Em, I do it out of love for them. They are my family as is Josh and Serena. They have to put up with me too and that’s not always a picnic. So, don’t give me a lot of credit. We help each other, we’re a team.” Alex said as he leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest.

Isabel soaked in the site of the man in front of her. With his arms crossed like that she could see that Alex had in fact filled out VERY nicely. His shoulders were broad and his arms strong. He didn’t dress in a manner that would accentuate his toned body and that made him more enticing. She moistened her lips and taking a deep breath put the towel on the counter and moved to stand in front of Alex.

Alex tensed and dropped his hands to grab onto the counter that he was leaning against. All of a sudden the room had shrunk in size and Isabel seemed really close.

“Alex, I’m part of that team now.” Isabel said, putting her hand on Alex’s chest “Emily is part of my family too.”

Josh heard the words and immediately grabbed Emily’s arm. They looked at each other with wide eyes. This was the confirmation they needed. These people were in fact Emily’s paternal family.

“We’re going to beat this.” Isabel continued “There is no way we’re going to lose her, when we just found her”

Emily’s face dropped at the statement. Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly got up and rushed into the room, slamming the door behind her.
Josh wasn’t as quick and was left staring at the door. “Em, open the door.” He breathed into the crack of the door and it’s archway.

Alex heard the shuffle upstairs and cursed himself for being so stupid and careless. Grabbing Isabel’s shoulders he pushed her a step back so he could pass by her. Stepping into the dining room, he looked up to the hallway. There he saw Josh whispering into the door of his room. “FUCK!” He mouthed although no words came out.

Josh turned around and looked at Alex with an apology in his eyes. Alex swung his hands over his head and stepped forward a few steps so he would be out of Josh’s eyesight. “Fuck” he said again this time in a small whisper.

Isabel who had been at first confused, found her way to the same spot Alex had been to and at the site of Josh covered her mouth and cursed herself as well. Moving forward to stand beside Alex, she clenched her fists in front of her mouth. “God! I’m so sorry, Alex. I didn’t know they were up there… Shit! I’m so stupid!”

Alex passed his hands over his face and stared at Isabel. He was not actually looking at her, he was thinking of a way out of this mess. He didn’t know what Emily had heard but he knew she had heard something. Something that upset her. He ran through the conversation he was having with Isabel and replayed all her words in his head. She had said that Emily was her family. That could be explained… but not in a way that wouldn’t be seen as a lie after Emily found out the truth. This was mommy territory. It was out of his league. Grabbing Isabel’s wrist he said “Get Liz. Tell her we have a situation that needs her attention.”

Isabel nodded vigorously and started to head out when she felt Alex tug on her hand once again. “Isabel, Calm down. This is nobody’s fault. I didn’t realize they were up there either.”

Isabel nodded again and hurried out to the patio as Alex took the steps up to the rooms two at a time.

TBC...

[starlady]

~* Chapter 20 *~

“Emily, open the door.” Alex pleaded. He could hear her inside the room sobbing and it broke his heart. “Sweetheart, tell me what’s the matter?”

“Go away.” Was the response that came from within the room.

Alex looked down at Josh. Pulling him to end of the hallway he asked, “What did you two hear?”

Josh looked back at the closed door. He didn’t want to betray his friend confidence, didn’t want to tell them about their ‘research project’ but he didn’t know why Emily was upset. He was afraid that she would have an ‘episode’ while locked in the room. He was afraid that everyone would blame him. “We didn’t hear anything, Uncle Lala. Just… that Isabel lady… said that Emily was part of her family and they were going to help us save Em.”

Alex nodded looking back at the door. “It’s okay Josh. Thanks for telling me the truth.”

Liz rushed up the stairs with Max hot on her heels. Everyone else stayed on the first floor since there was a clear view of the thin hallway from there. “What’s the matter, Alex?” Liz asked concern etched on her face.

Alex pulled her to the side just a bit to grant them a small bit of privacy “Em has locked herself in the room. It seems Isabel and I were talking and we hadn’t realized we had an audience. Emily Marie heard more than her share and, I want to say, she is somewhat upset.”

“What were you two talking about?” Liz inquired, hoping that it wasn’t what she thought it was.

Alex stepped back so that Liz could see his expression. “I’d give you three guesses but you would only need one.”

“Oh, Alex!” Liz chastised. This was not how she wanted Emily to find out. She was supposed to tell her tomorrow. The day had been going so well. Now all of a sudden there was a disaster.

Max looked on, accessing the situation. “Josh, maybe you should wait downstairs” He said noticing that Liz was deep in thought. He knew she was listing her options. Options that he didn’t see many of.

“I’m really sorry. I don’t know why she’s like that. We didn’t hear anything that we didn’t already know.” Josh said as he moved toward the stairs.

“Josh. What do you think you know?” Liz asked him moving a little closer so that the sounds would not carry into the rest of the house.

Josh looked at Liz. He paused a moment. He knew the charade was over. He knew that this, in a way was what Emily needed. Straightforward answers to questions she didn’t want to ask. “We know Emily is related to Uncle Max. Really related.” He said looking straight into Liz’s eyes, so there was no way she could mistake what he was saying. “We just can’t agree on how they are related. I think one thing, Em thinks another.”

“What do you think?” Liz asked putting a hand around Josh’s shoulders and cradling the back of his head in a very reassuring way.

Josh turned his head to look at Max, who stood next to him. He kept his eyes down, staring at Max’s shirt buttons “I think Uncle Max is not really Emily’s UNCLE. I think, you” He said pointing at Max but still not looking at him in the eyes “are Emily’s father”

A small smile spread across Max’s face.
Liz on the other hand was not pleased. This was what she was dreading. She lowered her head and shook it slightly.
Max was careful not to say anything, He wanted to follow, Liz’s lead, but he was not going to lie about his relationship to Emily.

“What does Emily think?” Liz finally asked

Josh was disappointed momentarily. He was hoping someone would confirm his suspicions but he thought he would have to just make due with the fact that no one had denied it.

“Emily says it’s not him. That she asked him and he denied it.” Josh admitted

Max rolled his eyes skyward and put his hands on his hips as he turned away. He was upset at the possibility that Emily might think that he lied to her. When she asked him last week, he had no idea that she was his. He had not told her that he was not, in fact, her father but he had not said he was. Emily could easily interpret that as a lie by omission.

“Thank you, Josh for being honest. Now, could you wait for us downstairs?” Liz said

Josh nodded and started downstairs where Kyle put a hand on his shoulder and giving Michael a quick look, took him into the living room where they sat to wait the outcome.

Liz looked over the railing at her friends and family. “Could you all give us a moment?”

They all nodded and with a few backward glances headed out to give Liz as much privacy as the open floor home could offer.

“I tried to coax her out but nothing” Alex said.

“I’ll take it from here” Liz said walking past him toward the door.

Alex walked by Max and patted his shoulder, giving him a weary look as he headed down the stairs.

Max walked up behind Liz and before she knocked on the door he grabbed her hand and pulled Liz to the other side of the doorway.

“Liz, I’m going to go in with you.”

Liz shook her head. “No, Max. I need to talk to her on my own.”

“Liz, she’s going to think I lied to her.” Max insisted, “I don’t want her to think that.”

“I’m not going to let her believe that.” Liz assured him “I just need to tell her this myself.”

“Compromise?” Max asked trying to find a middle ground “I’ll stay here so that after you tell her, I can talk to her.”

Liz quickly agreed and Max let his hand drop from her arm.

Moving to the door, Liz knocked. “Emily. Can I come in so we can talk?

“I don’t want to talk to you” was the soft reply she heard from the other side of the door.

“Em, honey. I think we need to talk, so please open this door.” Liz insisted, firmly.

Silence came from the other side.

“”Em, why didn’t you just ask me? If you had questions I would have answered them.” Liz continued hoping that Emily would eventually open the door, “Maybe you can ask me now?”

“I already know!” Was the quick response received

“Maybe you have some more questions?” Liz prompted. Max stood with his head leaning back against the wall next to the door. He heard so much anger in the small voice and for the first time, he was really scared that Emily might not accept him as her father.

“I know all I have to know!” Emily replied

“I don’t think you know half of what you think you do. Please, Emily, let me talk to you, explain things.” Liz pleaded

There was another stretch of silence and just when Liz was going to say something she heard the lock on the door give. Max looked at Liz with hope in his eyes. Liz nodded at him letting him know this was a good sign. She softly opened the door and walked in to the room, leaving the door open just a bit so as to not lock out Max who was anxious on the other side.
Liz moved to the bed where she could see Emily sitting tucked into the far corner of her bunk.

“Honey? Are you okay?” Liz asked trying to ease into the conversation.

Emily sat quiet.

Liz scooted down next to where Emily was sitting. “Sweetheart, Why didn’t you ask me? Did you think I wouldn’t tell you the truth?”

“I knew you didn’t want to talk about it.” Emily answered, “Was he such a bad man that you didn’t want to talk about him?”

Liz was a little confused by the question. If Emily knew that she was an Evans then who did she think was her father? She had never spoken of Zan and she knew no one in her circle of friends had mentioned him. “Emily, your daddy is not a bad man. I’m sorry if my silence gave you that impression. He is a very good man.”

Max slid down against the wall and brought his arms to rest on his knees. He rested his head in the cradle of his arms as he continued to listen to the conversation taking place in the room.

“Then why doesn’t he want me?” Emily said as she moved down to lie next to her mother.

“Honey, your daddy wants you very much. It’s just…” Liz started “You know? I was going to tell you about him tomorrow, but I think you need to know everything now.” Liz looked down at her daughter “Do you want me to tell you everything?”

Emily nodded.

“I was 18 when I got pregnant of you. Your daddy and me were close friends but we kept secrets from each other”

“If you were so close, why did you keep secrets? Josh and I don’t keep secrets” Emily said.

“When you get older, sometimes you get scared of how other people are going to react and so you keep secrets. Like you and me. I think that in here” Liz pointed at Emily’s heart “you were scared that you might hurt my feelings if you asked me about your daddy. So you went ahead and did some detective work on your own. You kept your investigation a secret from me.”

Emily seemed to ponder the explanation so, Liz continued.

“The thing with secrets is that it can lead people to make wrong choices. It also makes people assume things that might not be true. If I would have been honest with your daddy, he might not have kept his secrets from me. I made some choices that were bad, partly because I didn’t know the whole truth. Do you understand?” Liz asked wondering if this made sense to a nine year old.

Emily shook her head and looked at her mother hoping for a better explanation.

Liz thought for a moment. “Let me put this differently. You thought it might hurt me if you asked about your father, right?”

Emily nodded in affirmation

“So, you kept your questions a secret and I assumed you just didn’t want to know yet. I assumed something that was not true. I kept your father’s identity a secret, and you assumed it was because it was because he was a bad man and it would hurt me to talk about him. Because of my secret you assumed something that wasn’t true. Do you understand now?”

Emily nodded once again “It’s like the chair Josh broke last summer. He tried to fix it and didn’t tell anyone it was broken. Then that lady from Aunt Serena’s work came and fell when she sat in it. Aunt Serena thought the chair was good because Josh kept a secret.”

“Exactly!” Liz said wondering how kids could explain something so complicated in such an easy way.

“So, you and my daddy kept secrets from each other?” Emily prodded

“Yes, we did.” Liz said, “Honey, one secret I kept, not only from your father but from everyone here was that you had been born.”

Emily sat up and crossed her legs in Indian style, wiping her nose on her shirt “Why did you do that?”

“Well, I thought that maybe my mommy and daddy would be sad that I had a baby. Again, I assumed something that wasn’t true. I didn’t trust their love and that was wrong of me. They are very happy that you were born, just like your daddy is.”

“That’s not true.” Emily said starting to sniffle once again. Max felt his muscles tense at the sound of Emily’s voice breaking. “My daddy knows I’m sick and he doesn’t want me.”

Liz sat up and pulled her daughter onto her lap. ”That’s not true. Why would you say such a thing?”

“That Isabel lady said she was my family. Is she really my family?” Emily asked as tears continued to form in her eyes.

“Yes, Emily. Isabel is your Aunt and Mr. and Mrs. Evans are your grandparents” Liz felt such a relief to have it out in the open but she was still confused by her daughters tears.

“I hate him! If he doesn’t want me, I don’t want him either!” Emily yelled getting off the bed and turning to face her mother who held a shocked expression.

Max stood up and had to contain himself from charging into the room at Emily’s outburst.

“Emily Marie! Lower your voice.” Liz said sitting on the edge of the bunk. “Why would you say such awful things?”

“My grandma and grandpa have come here and want to know me. Aunt Isabel and Uncle Max they came too. They know I’m sick but they want to be with me even if I can’t run and play like everyone else” Emily said between sobs “All my daddy’s family is here but he’s not here. He didn’t want a sick kid. Josh said he would want me because I was a girl and I was cute and cuddly and talked girly things, but he was wrong! Josh said that you wouldn’t pick me a bad daddy but you did! He didn’t love you and now he doesn’t love me!” Wiping her face she added “If he don’t want to love me, I’m not going to love him anymore either!”

Liz quickly kneeled in front of Emily. “Emily, your daddy loves you very much. I think you misunderstood, what I was telling you.”

“No! He doesn’t, he would have come to see me, to get to know me.” Emily argued refusing to hear out her mother.

“I have.” Max said as he stood in the open doorway.

Silence engulfed the room as he stepped forward and closed the door behind him.

“Sorry,” He said looking at Liz as he approached “It didn’t look like it was going too well.”

Max knelt in front of Emily and addressed her, “I love you so much. My heart hurts.” He told the wide-eyed girl “I never thought I would love someone as much as I love you. I’ve loved you even before I knew you were mine. You stole my heart the first time I met you. The way you just could open yourself up to me, let me hold you and talk to me as if you had known me all your life. It blew me away.” Max cradled Emily’s face in his hands “Josh was very right when he said I would want you. I wanted you to be mine long before I discovered that you were.”

Liz sat back to take it all in and her own heart lurched forward at the tender moment before her.

Emily put her hand over Max’s and as tears marred her face, she tried to make sense of what her ‘Uncle’ Max was telling her “But… But, you’re not my Daddy. You’re my Uncle Max.” She turned to look at her mother so that she would confirm her statement.

Liz took Emily’s hand in hers. “Sweetie, Max is your Daddy. He is whom I was talking about. My best friend.”

Emily still was having problems grasping the concept and turned to Max, “But…I… I asked you. You… You looked at me surprised, like I was not yours.”

Max tucked a strand of Emily’s hair behind her ear and replied, “I didn’t know the truth. Your Mommy and Me… We messed up real bad. We kept too many secrets from each other. Secrets that kept us apart for too long.” Turning to look at Liz, he continued “But we promised not to keep any more secrets from each other.”

“Then who is the other man?” Emily asked “The one from the picture?”

Max looked at Liz hoping she would know whom Emily was talking about but Liz shrugged her shoulders, letting him know that she was just as clueless

“What picture, Em?” Liz asked

“The one in Uncle Max’s house. The one where there are two of him” Emily said pointing at Max.

Max thought for a moment. He tried to figure out which picture Emily was referring to. It took a minute before Max realized what Emily was talking about He looked at Liz and he enlightened her. “It’s the last family portrait we took.” Looking at Emily he clarified “Em, that was my twin brother Zan. He died before you were born and I know that if he was alive he would love you just as much as we do.”
Max knew that he was omitting a lot of things, but he knew that his daughter did not need to have all the details of her conception and who Zan was to her mother. At least he knew that it was not up to him to tell her.

Emily stood between her parents for a few seconds trying to absorb all the information she was given. She was trying to rationalize her thoughts. Josh had been so sure Max was her father and now Max was confirming it, her mother was confirming it. “So… You are my daddy?” Emily asked looking for a final assurance

Max nodded giving her a lop-sided grin “Sorry, if you were expecting more, but you’re stuck with me.”

Emily stared at him as if he was insane. She looked at Liz who was smiling at her, assuring her that it was okay to accept this truth. Then she threw herself into her father’s arms in her first father-daughter hug.

Max lost his balance and fell back into a sitting position. Wrapping his arms tightly around Emily he buried his face in her small neck, breathing in the scent of the child he helped bring into the world.

Emily put her hands on his shoulder and pushed back to look at him. “I’m happy you’re my daddy, Uncle Max.” Her face scrunched up and she looked back at Liz and then back at Max. “I can’t call you ‘Uncle’ Max anymore.”

“You can call me what ever you want” Max said. He knew it might be too soon for her to feel comfortable calling him Daddy.

“But, you’re my daddy. And you’re not a jerk like Josh’s daddy.” Emily replied as if that explained her reasoning.

“I think we need to curb our adjectives” Liz said in a stern voice

Emily looked at Liz sheepishly and then turned back to Max. “I can call you Daddy, can’t I?”

Max swallowed the huge lump that was in his throat, before he replied. “Of course, you can.” Kissing her on the cheek he said, “I would like that a lot”

Emily gave a solid nod and then hugged him again.

Max looked over to Liz, who mirrored his own happiness. It could have gone smoother but it was finally all out in the open. Everyone knew the truth, no more hiding, and no more secrets.

Well… Except for the one were he was still madly in love with the mother of his child. Max hugged Emily tighter as he thought that, that particular secret would be revealed soon enough. He just needed a plan. Yup, a plan. Why was he so bad at setting up a plan? He definitely needed a plan.

Pulling Emily away a bit, he whispered in her ear “How about we go downstairs and meet your grandparents and your Aunt Iz? They really are looking forward to meeting you.”

Emily pushed back further to look at him with a wide smile and nodded fervently. She scrambled off of Max’s lap and he stood up.

Emily turned to Liz “Do I look good?”

Liz swept her flyaway hair off her face and wiped her cheeks of any remnants of the tears that had been there before “You look as beautiful as ever!” she replied kissing Emily soundly on the lips.

Emily hugged her mother and then turned to put her small hand into Max’s large one. “I’m ready” she said before they walked out of the room together.

TBC...