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Lurkers
Chapter 10
After speaking with her parents and letting them know exactly what happened between her and Chris, she thought about what her parents had suggested and what they felt was best for her. They wanted her to move to Amsterdam to live with them, but Liz wasn’t so sure that was indeed the best thing for her.
What other option did she have though? She needed to go back to New York that was a definite, she needed to pack up the stuff she didn’t take with her to Roswell and move out of Chris’s apartment for good. However, she had no job and no place to live, which didn’t leave her with many options. On one hand she could take the money she has saved and get an apartment in the city. The only problem with that scenario is that she would definitely need to move far from the area in which Chris’s apartment was since she definitely could not afford the rent for a place there.
The other option was to stay in Roswell for a little while, but that wouldn’t work either because then she would be near Max and that was not good, in any event either one presented a challenge. Mainly because she still didn’t have a job and didn’t have enough money to afford rent, food and furniture and other necessities in life. She couldn’t think about that right now though there were other things on her mind.
Liz laid down in the middle of Max’s bed just going over this mornings events. It seemed like everything went by in a flash and she didn’t have time to really absorb all that she heard or said for that matter.
She was still very upset by the way Maria acted and has been acting ever since she got back to town. There was just something that didn’t make sense to her, why would Maria still be holding a grudge against her? It was one thing to just be upset and angry for not writing or calling but to speak to her and treat her like she was a piece of shit was completely uncalled for.
Why did she defend Max so much? Obviously she said that he was there for her when she needed him, but that still doesn’t make sense as to why she is the way she is. Then Max’s father, she can only imagine how hard both Max and his mother took that. One other thing that was on Liz’s mind was Kylei’s mother, who was she and where was she for that matter? There were so many questions that she wanted answers for an unfortunately for her the only person that can give them to her was Max. She knew that for a fact but that didn’t make her want to know any less though. What did that mean? Why should she even care? Liz began to get more frustrated by the minute.
“Hi.” Serena peeked her head into her cousin’s door after putting Kylei down for her nap. She saw Liz laying across Max’s bed deep in thought, she figured the girl had a lot to deal with and needed some time but maybe she needed someone to talk to.
“Oh Serena hi!” Liz was slightly startled because she had not heard the girl enter the room.
“Sorry I didn’t mean to bother you I can just go.” Serena saw the surprised look on Liz’s face and immediately began retreating back into Kylei’s adjoining room. Liz however was surprisingly happy to see the girl.
“No it’s okay; actually I was hoping maybe we could talk for a minute.” Liz sat up on the bed and rested her back against the headboard, making room for Serena to take a seat.
“Sure, what about?” Serena took a seat beside Liz and waited to hear what the petite brunette that held the heart of her cousin wanted to discuss.
Liz wasn’t sure how to go about asking what she wanted to ask, so she just blurted it out.
“Tell me about Max.” Liz waited with bated breath for Serena’s reaction.
“About Max?” Serena asked slightly confused.
“Yes, I mean what is he like…now?” Liz ducked her head in embarrassment, she didn’t want Serena getting the wrong idea but she wanted something to help sort out her confused feelings about Max. She knows for a fact that he changed but to what extent? Was he just a playboy with a daughter? Or did he give it all up? And if he did give it all up when did it happen?
“Liz, I don’t know what to tell you except that he’s not the same person you knew three years ago. He has been through a lot but that doesn’t and will not ever excuse what he did to you.” Serena told her sincerely how she felt there was no reason to sugar coat the truth.
“Thank you, but I mean I would figure you would defend him to me, since he is your family.” Liz was a little surprised by Serena’s declaration.
“He’s my family and I love him, but that doesn’t mean that he wasn’t a complete asshole to you. He cheated and there isn’t anything that can justify that in my book.”
“Does he know you feel that way?” Liz asked thinking Serena kept this to herself.
“Yes, he knows. In fact when he called me that afternoon…the afternoon you found out and confronted him he called me and needless to say I had a few choice words for him.” Serena said seriously then looked at Liz who was fighting for control and then, they both burst out into laughter.
“I didn’t think…I just I don’t know, I figured you would try and make excuses for him or something, but I guess I was wrong.” Liz said to Serena not really knowing how complex this girl really was.
“Yeah, Max likes to call me difficult but I say I’m real, I tell it like it is. That doesn’t mean that I love him any less or look down on him for it, it was a bad judgment call on his part and he hurt you tremendously and I can understand that you will never forgive him for that.” Serena said honestly, she didn’t think that Max had a chance in hell with this girl. Hell she didn’t even know why she was here to begin with but it had to be bad if she came to Max that much she knew.
Liz listened to what Serena had to say and she was very surprised to say the least, she didn’t take Max’s side just because she was his cousin, she stayed neutral on the matter but she didn’t throw his mistakes in his face. Liz really liked this girl a lot and by the minute she felt herself growing closer to her. She felt comfortable and safe talking to her seriously knowing that she would never judge her because of her feelings.
“Did he ever say that he…that he missed me?” Liz asked shyly, she didn’t know why she needed an answer to that question but right at that moment she did. Serena however was very surprised that Liz would even care if Max missed her, but she answered in any event.
“Yes, he did. Liz I wasn’t here for what happened so I only got his side but I can tell you that he regrets it and he realized too late what he did, but to be perfectly honest with you I don’t know if he would have changed it. Maybe two years ago he would have wished it but not now, not ever.” Serena told her honestly what she knew the girl wanted to hear that didn’t make it any easier to see the emotions play across her face.
“Kylei.” Liz said without remorse or anger.
Serena turned quickly looked back up at Liz’s face and what she saw there was complete understanding, that didn’t mean she wasn’t hurt but she understood what Max’s daughter means to him. Both girls sat there staring at one another, trying to figure each other out and just simply realizing that both of them had such unique qualities you don’t find that often.
The staring match was short lived because Max entered the room moment later carrying a tray a food. He figured Liz had been upstairs all morning and Serena went up at least a half hour ago and now that the afternoon rush was settling down he would bring her something to eat.
When he opened the door he wasn’t sure what to think when he saw his cousin and Liz sitting on the bed next to one another just staring. He wasn’t sure if he should interrupt but he knew that Liz needed to eat. And when she was upset she would try and put it off as long as possible.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to interrupt but I figured Liz might be hungry.” He said while holding out the tray to Liz.
“Max I’m okay…I.” Liz protested just as he thought. He would not be deterred.
“No Liz you need to eat you’ll make yourself sick otherwise.” Max said with concern in his voice. He knew she might think he was telling her what to do, but that wasn’t it he just wanted to make sure she was okay, that nothing happened to her.
“Thank you Max.” Liz gave him a shy smile and took the tray from his hands. However when Liz placed the tray in her lap she noticed how much food was there, it surely could not be all for her. So she asked him.
“No, actually I was…I thought that maybe you would, you know like to have lunch with me.” Max said quickly and then looked down at his feet, he was a fool to even think she would want to be in the same room with him let alone have lunch with him. This was a mistake he should have never even…
“I would love that.” Liz said quickly when she saw the uncertainty in his eyes but the finishing touch was when he looked away slightly embarrassed. She knew it was hard for him but he was trying so she couldn’t be angry.
“Really?” He asked surprisingly, maybe he heard wrong or something? He thought to himself. Liz simply nodded her approval.
Serena noticed the small exchange between the two. She had never seen Max and Liz together like that. It was as if Liz knew exactly what Max was thinking when he asked the question and she was quick to reassure him that it was okay with her. And when Max asked if she really meant it, their eyes connected and he knew she was telling the truth.
That was simply amazing she thought, with just a few words they knew what the other was thinking. She decided she needed to get out of there quick before she ruined the moment they were apparently having. She quickly excused herself and before she closed the door she saw her cousin taking a step closer to approaching Liz sitting on the bed.
Max was nervous, even though he knew that Liz wanted him there that didn’t make it any less difficult. Liz saw the tentativeness in not only Max’s eyes but in his movements and she decided that she was going to have to be the one to help ease the situation.
“Why don’t we go outside and eat? It’s a pretty nice day and that way we can talk a little more privately.” Max’s head snapped up at Liz’s words. Not only did she want to have lunch with him but also she wanted to talk to him. He didn’t think about that for too long otherwise he knew that he would loose his voice. So he simply walked over to her side of the bed, lifted the tray and made his way outside the window.
“Oh I’ll be right back.” Once they were seated outside he remembered he left the baby monitor on the dresser near the door. He ran inside and retrieved it and climbed back through the window. Liz just smiled when she saw in his hands what he had gone inside to get.
“What?” Max asked her seeing a small smile play across her face.
“Nothing, it’s just I don’t know weird to see you carrying a baby monitor and just I don’t know.” She shrugged her shoulders not really sure what she was trying to say.
“So me holding a baby isn’t weird?” He said jokingly, but wanted to kick himself when he saw the look on Liz’s face.
“Liz I’m so…”
“No! Max don’t apologize, I was just thinking or rather asking myself why I found it weird for you to be carrying a baby monitor but that I don’t find it at all weird for you to be carrying a baby. That’s what’s confusing me.”
“Oh, well if it helps it’s weird for me most of the time.” He smiles at her and she nods and gives him another small smile before she begins eating her lunch.
They ate their lunch in comfortable silence and then Liz decided that she wanted to find out a little more about what Max has been up to these past few years, besides having a baby.
“So Max did you go to college at all?” Liz leaned back in her chair and waited for Max to speak.
“Yeah I went to Northwestern for about a year and then…my father had a heart attack but I didn’t make it in time. It happened so fast, one minute I get a call from my mother and I’m at the airport but by the time I got back here, he has already passed away.” Max tried to control the tears from forming in his eyes but that was useless, he still never forgave himself for not seeing his father before he died. Liz saw Max’s expression change instantly and was quickly kneeling by his side.
“Max I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up…I didn’t know that…I should have…” Liz ran a frustrated hand through her head; she really put her foot in her mouth this time she thought. Max was quick to reassure her that it was okay and he knew that she didn’t mean to bring that up.
“Liz it’s fine really. You didn’t know there was no way of you knowing. Don’t feel bad about it, I just wish that I got the chance to say goodbye. And when I look at Kylei I wish that he got to meet her even if it was just once, she’ll never know him.” He finished sadly not looking at Liz or at anything in particular.
“Yes she will Max.” Liz places her hand on Max’s knee and squeezes gently willing him to look at her and understand what she was saying.
“What are you talking about?” Max bent his head and looked into her big brown eyes and felt lost, when her hand touched his knee it was as if the world slowed down for just a moment before she started speaking. He tried hard to focus on her words.
“You and your mom won’t let his memory die Max. You can tell her all about him through stories and pictures, I know that you wish he was alive to see her, but sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we wish it did, sometimes we have to accept what is and move past it. But we never forget and I think that’s the worst part sometimes. It hurts when you remember the good and it hurts when you remember the bad, it’s a no win situation but I believe that your father is looking down on you and Kylei smiling that he raised such a great son.” Wow! Where did that come from? Liz heard herself say the words but she couldn’t believe they were coming out of her mouth.
If Liz didn’t think she believed what she said, Max was in even more shock. Liz felt that way about him, after everything? He asked himself. She was simply amazing and he was cursing himself for letting her go.
“Thank you Liz, you’re right.” They both looked into each other’s eyes and smiled. Not the shy smiles they have been tossing around all day, but a genuine smile, a smile that was adding warmth to a dark and cold place in their hearts.
Their moment was interrupted a minute later by the sound of Max’s mother yelling his mother yelling his name, “Max!”
“Mom? What’s wrong?” Both Max and Liz stood up and entered his bedroom quickly.
“It’s Maria and Michael, they are fighting and I don’t know how to stop it. It’s out of control.” Diane says somewhat out of breath because she had to run up the stairs, people were leaving the diner because of the volume of their argument.
“Let’s go.” Max runs past his mother down the stairs.
Max didn’t have to go far to hear the argument, “What the hell is wrong with you?!” He could hear Michael yell.
“Me? I am not the one yelling at the top of my lungs about some absurd thing you believe that’s not even the truth!” Max made it to the last step and saw Serena trying to separate the both of them from attacking one another.
“Would you guys at least take this outside?! Damn it!” Serena yelled at both Maria and Michael. She didn’t know how the fight started but Michael called Maria to the back room ten minutes ago and the next thing she knew dishes were hitting the floor in a loud crash. By the time both Diane and Serena had made it to the back they were in each other’s faces yelling.
Max quickly removed Serena from between Maria and Michael then grabbed Michael’s arm walking him towards the back door. Once they were outside Max turned to a fuming Michael asking what the problem was.
“I don’t believe her! I’m busting my ass working two jobs, hell I was working three up until a few weeks ago and she’s just fucking around on me!” Max was confused as to what exactly Michael was talking about.
“Michael, you are not making any kind of sense, you wanna tell me what happened?” Max tried to say as calmly as possible not wanting to upset Michael any further.
“Max, come on man you have to know. I see the way she has been looking at you and today that argument she had with Liz and with you. There is something there and I don’t fucking believe her!” Michael was enraged once again just thinking about it. After Max asked Maria to put in an order for his and Liz’s lunch she flew off the handle.
After Max had gone upstairs Maria was fuming, so when Michael called her to the back to find out what was wrong she just blew up at him, saying to him that she just couldn’t believe Max was going to have lunch with her. That’s when Michael saw it, plain as day the jealously was written all over her face. He exploded at that point.
Max of course was completely in the dark he had no idea what Michael was talking about. Michael saw the clueless expression on his friends face and needed to tell him what was going on.
“Shit!” Max remembered he left Kylei upstairs and he didn’t have the baby monitor with him and he knows for a fact that his mother followed him downstairs. He was in such a rush to get into his room that he left it outside.
“What’s wrong?” Michael asked concerned.
“Kylei I left her upstairs. I’ll be right back.” Max said placing his hands on Michael’s shoulders hoping that he would understand. Michael understood Max had priorities. He was always being pulled in so many directions he wondered how he just being twenty years old kept all the responsibilities from making him crazy.
“That’s fine Maxwell I’m done for the day in a few hours, I know you’re closing early for tomorrow so I’ll catch up with you later.” Max turned and looked at Michael and then asking him if he was sure that he wanted to wait to talk to him.
“I’m sure Maxwell, we’ll talk later.” Max left him outside to allow Michael time to get his temper down. When Max entered the back room he saw Maria sitting on the bottom step with both Serena and his mother nowhere to be found. He could only assume that they went back out onto the dining area.
“Max…” He didn’t have time for this right now; he needed to get to his daughter.
“Maria, later I have to get Kylei I left her upstairs alone.” He walked past her taking two steps at a time but halted at Maria’s words.
“Alone? I thought Liz was upstairs?” Maria asked somewhat confused, she knew Liz didn’t come downstairs with everyone else so she couldn’t figure out what Max was talking about.
“Yeah…you’re right Maria but still I can’t just leave Liz with her.” He continued up the stairs. Hoping that Liz wouldn’t be upset that he left her there. He didn’t want her thinking that she had to watch Kylei or anything. He was treading on thin ice and he was afraid that one wrong move and Liz would be gone for good.
Max reached his open bedroom door to find the room empty. Where was she? He thought when he found his bedroom empty. He quickly crossed his room and leaned out the window to grab the monitor and that’s when he heard her.
It was Liz. He turned and as quietly as possible made his way over to his daughters bedroom. What he saw there made his heart constrict, his breathing hitch and his love grow.
Liz was holding Kylei in her arms gently rocking her on Max’s mother’s rocking chair.
“How are you doing sweetheart? I know you probably miss your daddy but he’ll be up here soon.” Liz whispered to the tiny girl in her arms. She reveled in how warm and soft she felt. Liz ran her hands through her curly dark hair and thought it’s softer than anything she ever touched in her life.
“Do you need your diaper changed? Is that why you were all fussy? Well let’s see I’ve only ever done this a few times so forgive me if I do a terrible job.” Liz says jokingly while lifting Kylei from her shoulder and bringing her over to the changing table attached to her crib.
Kylei held onto Liz’s neck and nuzzled some of her long brown hair in her tiny fist. Liz then placed Kylei down and began unsnapping the onesy and removing the diaper. Luckily Liz didn’t need to look too far for some wipes or a diaper. Five minutes later Liz had a triumphant smile on her face and leaned in over Kylei just watching her smile back at her. Something inside of Liz changed at that very moment, she wasn’t quite sure what it was but she felt it when she saw Kylei smile back brightly and when her eyes lit up and look up at Liz.
“You look so much like your daddy you know that? So beautiful, and maybe we can keep this part a secret, but it’s a good thing you don’t have his ears. Not that they aren’t cute or anything but well they are a bit on the larger side, just make sure you don’t point that out to him because he’s very sensitive about them.” Liz leaned in and placed a kiss on Kylei forehead before reaching out to carry the little girl back to the rocking chair.
Liz loved the feel of having Kylei in her arms; she now understands when people say it’s on of the best feelings in the world, at that moment she had a newfound understanding for what Serena was talking about. She wouldn’t give up this for anything in the world either, not even the love of her life.
Max stood and watched silently and realized that the picture of Liz with his daughter was one that would be permanently imprinted on his mind. They both looked so beautiful, so perfect he wished at that moment for the first time ever that Liz were Kylei’s mother.
The harsh reality though was that Liz was not Kylei’s mother; Liz wouldn’t be sticking around either because she had no obligation. Max knew however that Liz would never leave her own child. He must have made a noise because a second later Liz acknowledged that he was in the room.
“Max!” Liz looked up when she heard a small creak come from the doorway in Kylei’s room; she was surprised to see Max standing there. He looked amazing she thought.
“Ah Liz, I’m sorry I left her up here, it’s just that everything happened so quickly I didn’t even have a change to…” Max quickly tried to apologize but Liz wouldn’t hear of it.
“It’s okay Max, Kylei and I were just getting to know one another.” Liz tried to say without her voice giving away the fact that she was nervous as hell and hoped that Max did not overhear what she was saying to Kylei.
“Right. Well I can take over from here.” Max approached Liz and that’s when Kylei noticed her father was in the room for the first time. She clapped her hands together and reached out to him.
“Hey pumpkin! Did you miss me like I missed you?” Max smiled and lifted his daughter in his arms. He then lifted her in the air and looked up into her beautiful greenish amber eyes and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. She always giggles when he does that.
Liz sat back and watched the exchange and wanted more than anything to be a part of it, but she had no right to want that. What was she thinking? It’s Max, the one that broke your heart, the one that didn’t give a shit about your feelings, the one that has a beautiful daughter who he would do anything for, the one that you still love no matter how hard you try to deny it.
This situation was getting more complicated by the second. Liz didn’t know what the hell to do, she couldn’t stop herself. She needed to and she would after tomorrow. Liz decided that she would leave and move back to New York, or so she thought.
Little did Liz know that Max had plans of his own, he was going to tell Liz the truth about everything and if she decided she didn’t want to be a part of his life then he could live with that, but he didn’t want any lies or secrets to come between them again.
TBC…