Authors' irrational fears

[Dream Weaver]

Wow this thread is really inspiring. Sometimes I feel like almost every one of you. My fears are that of course I write something and no one reads it too. I always think bad thoughts if I don't get feedback, thinking that my story is not good enough.

I have a very bad habit of my overactive muse coming up with TONS of story ideas. I will be writing one story and then want to write another and another until I find I have three or four open stories and run out of inspiration. I also an horrible with outlines. I will get an outline ready then in the mist of writing I will change the story so much lol that I get off track.
So I have to try and keep myself ahead a chapter or two. It's hard for me to not want to post once I have a completed chapter which scares me sometimes that I'll run out of steam and not finish the story.

And April.....man if I lost a story that long I'd probably cry like jbangelo said hehe but I really think I should take a page from your book and try to write the story or at least be WAY ahead of myself before posting lol!

[tequathisy]

I think it's natural for every writer to have fears and self doubt about what they've produced. I'm not sure that I want to read the work of an author who finishes a chapter and says 'This is brilliant, my best work ever.'

Last night I ended up reading an old fic of mine that I hadn't read since I posted. I'd sort of convinced myself that it was totally crap and couldn't even bring myself to look at it to edit it. But I read it - and you know what? It wasn't bad. It's by no means a masterpiece, I noticed a lot of typos and grammatical errors and I would have done some things differently but I didn't cringe when I read it either.

[Behrsgirl77]

I just stumbled onto this topic...how fun!

Okay, for me, while I have started several fics...I have finished them all (yay for me! *lol*) However, in recent years (and I do mean years) the longer I realize that I write AU w/out Aliens (I've only written one CC fic -a short Christmas story, and one AU with Aliens) the harder it is for me, and the easier of an excuse I find to not write a full fledged CC fic. It's been years for me, and many stories later that it's the one thing I'd like to accomplish, to contribute to the board when I stop writing (if I ever stop LOL).

But it's so hard! I just procrastinate, and it's not for the lack of thoughts and ideas, I've got a ton of them. It's more the fact that so many people before me have written some amazing stories and I'll never live up to it. I read them and think I can never write anything remotely as good as that. That's a great fear, one that I have decided to work on (again). Another year has gone by, and this year I promised myself I would finally do it... we'll see I may creep back into the shadows.

I'm not sure how to explain it except for the fact that I love the characters so much, that I don't want to ruin them with my awful story and awful characterization...

I can however relate to everyone here on their other fears, but I have learned the hard way, if you love writing, if you love the story, that's all that really matters. If people like it too...well that's the icing on the cake!

[Jezebel Jinx]

This is a good thread topic.

(Trust me on this. I once wrote a fic that was about 2,200 pages long--NO JOKE--and my computer crashed. I lost the story because I stupidly didn't have it backed up anywhere. No one will ever get to read it, but I think of it as an accomplishment becasue I personally enjoyed writing it.)

Oh, that really sucks, I'd be curled up in a ball in tears. At least you had personal enjoyment out of it.

Many of my fears have already been said, but these are my top four.

1. That no one will like the story/get no feedback or harsh negative feedback. I'd rather get no feedback though than harsh feedback but neither are fun. I've got no problem with constructive negative feedback but it's those very few people that are mean with their feedback that make me a little hesitant to post.

2. That I'll stop writing my story right in the middle because of other fic ideas. I have a very active imagination. Most of the time I love it because I do get so many ideas to play with, but I get worried that I'll get so into writing a story that's not posted that'll I'll eventually get tired of my posted fics. Which leads into my other fear.

3. I get bored very easily. There's one fic right now that I have 90% of the story outlined but I'm starting to get a little bored with it. While I'm determined to finish it, it doesn't stop the fear that I won't.

4. When one of my story ideas is close enough to someone else's that some people might think that I copied their basic idea. I know that I have two or three fics that aren't posted yet but they're somewhat similar to other fic ideas, but I started writing them at least a few months before another author posted their story.

Those are my top four writing/posting fears. It's cool to read some other authors fears.

[Tears_of_Mercury]

It's more the fact that so many people before me have written some amazing stories and I'll never live up to it. I read them and think I can never write anything remotely as good as that.

...

I'm not sure how to explain it except for the fact that I love the characters so much, that I don't want to ruin them with my awful story and awful characterization.

I worry about that a lot too. I think that we all watched the show and came to different conclusions about the characters, related to different couples, etc. So I kind of back myself into a corner a lot -- either when I write an M/L fic, especially if I'm working with a different opinion/philosphy than 95% of the readers/viewers, that they'll hate what I'm doing with "their" Max and Liz and that no one will even recognize them. Then I also worry if I'm writing couples or characters I wasn't as enthusiastic about -- that people who ship those couples will read what I go and just say, "No. You missed the entire point of what these people and this relationship is about. This is disgraceful." Which is completely neurotic of me, since I don't think I've ever been bashed on RF or even had anyone approach it. I think I'm just too paranoid for my own good.

I can really relate to the fear of writing something that doesn't live up to the great reputation of Rosfic. This is probably one of the richest and most interesting fandoms in terms of stories written, and in some respects I feel very much like, "What's the point of polluting it with my bumbling stories?" Cannon fanfics kind of have a reputation of existing to fix what the writers ruined or of saying one particular thing, and if I read a story that's already said what I'm trying to say in a much more graceful way, I get very insecure and kind of freeze up when it comes to my own work.

Another year has gone by, and this year I promised myself I would finally do it... we'll see I may creep back into the shadows.

*hugs* I really hope that you get the chance to go for it this year! I'm sure that we'll all enjoy the story, whenever you decide to post it.

When one of my story ideas is close enough to someone else's that some people might think that I copied their basic idea. I know that I have two or three fics that aren't posted yet but they're somewhat similar to other fic ideas, but I started writing them at least a few months before another author posted their story.

That used to be a huge fear of mine. There are so many stories on this board alone, much less in the whole fandom. A lot of times I'll be posting a story or outlining a future project, and I'll read a really great fic and see that another author has a lot of similar themes in their story. I think that's one of the reason why overlooked plotholes attract me so much -- you're more likely to hit on something "new" that way.

[April]

I'm not sure how to explain it except for the fact that I love the characters so much, that I don't want to ruin them with my awful story and awful characterization...

Oh my gosh, I feel the exact same way! It's the reason why I don't write Canon! (Or if I do write Canon, it's a very short POV fic.) In a sense, AU is easier in that you can basically do whatever you want with the characters. But in a sense, AU is just as difficult because you sometimes have to build your characters from the ground up.

This is probably one of the richest and most interesting fandoms in terms of stories written

I totally agree! There are so many talented people and so many great stories on this board and other boards/sites.

-April

ETA: Tears_of_Mercury, I just now realized we both have a signature with the word Passion in it. Great minds . . .

[Tears_of_Mercury]

ETA: Tears_of_Mercury, I just now realized we both have a signature with the word Passion in it. Great minds . . .

Oh my gosh. I've been talking to you on three or four threads and I didn't even notice that until you pointed it out! I really need to be more observant.

[Vael]

Hope no one minds me replying as i'm not an author yet, but hopefully a soon to be author

For the last couple of weeks when time allows i have slowly been plugging away at my first attempt of a story. It is going very slow, due to the fact i have no real idea what i'm doing the problem/fear i'm having with it at the moment is that i know that it going to turn into something longer than i planned. Before i started i had set myself a list of things i wanted to do, which was fine as i had only planned on it being a 5 part story.
But new ideas keep popping up and i suddenly find myself wanting them added, which means i had to delete some or edit the very small bit that i have got out so far. As i said, i've never written before, and i know my skill is minimal and all the ideas i now have for it show me that my story can not simply be told in 5 parts it's going to turn into way more than that now what started as a fic covering 5 days before the shooting at the CD is now looking like the 5 days before the shooting and a complete retelling of season 1.

Another fear, as mentioned by others is characterization. Only fear it on a small scale, i don't really care how most of my characters will appear. But i am rather nervous when the time comes how people will react to my Alex. Be it canon or au, Alex is the one that is hardly changed the most. He's always the good guy, hardly doing wrongs, best friend, forgiving, understanding & so on .. my fic starts out with Alex beating/crushing someones skull while tossing out rather vulgar curses and what i have planned for him later may just be as bad He really is not going to be that reasonable of an Alex, i hope he doesn't appear to be an asshole, but rather a guy who is just not going to allow the actions of others to go unpunished. Which worries me as a big part of Alex's role will revolve around,Max,Michael,Ava & Zan, and sinse he plays a big part of the setting of relationships i have my work cut out for me.

[April]

Vael, sometimes longer stories can spring from short story ideas. It's not uncommon. Originally Passion was going to be one of my shorter stories, but . . . well, you know how that's turned out.

I personally look forward to reading your badass version of Alex. If everyone portrayed every character exactly the same way, then the world of Roswell fanfic would not be as diverse and immensely enjoyable as it is. New-ness is a good thing; it opens up all these unexplored possibilities.

-April

[Heavenli24]

Vael, sometimes longer stories can spring from short story ideas. It's not uncommon. Originally Passion was going to be one of my shorter stories, but . . . well, you know how that's turned out.

This is true - my story You Can Alway Count On Me was originally intended to be a 10-part short story, but as I wrote it, I found myself really enjoying the story and it just seemed to write itself. Four months later, my 10-part fic had become the longest story I had ever written up to that point (35 parts) and a year after that it was a series of 3 stories, with a combined length of 220,000 words and 500 pages!