L is for Life (M/L, TEEN) Chapt. 5, 6-17-08 [WIP]

[Queenie_Zan7]

A/N: I am aware that I have yet to finish a fic, but I just can't be stopped...and school's almost out so I figured I can at least juggle 2 fics if I stagger posts with prewritten chapters. It's written all Liz POV, parentheses is still Liz and thoughts are in 'single quotation marks'. Let me know what you think of this.



Title: L is for Life
Author: Queenie_Zan7
Rating: Teen
Summary: You can't drop out of Harvard, move in with your parents, and still have a life...or maybe you can?
Disclaimer: I don't own Roswell or associated characters, the belong to writers and producers of the show.

Chapter 1: No Girls Allowed

I just saw him...and I knew. He was one of those untouchable people. A widower, whose wife died tragically 'before her time, extinguishing his star along with hers'. One of those men only messed with by women too desperate to see or women bursting with enough 'femininity' to try and push him into something with their attributes and charm. 'Probably baked goods, too. Hussies...'

He was the type that end up madly in love with some gorgeous woman years later, only I wasn't gorgeous and he no doubt still loved his wife. And then and there I decided to leave him alone. Not to bother him with my pathetic attempts, although they might've been too pathetic for him to notice the way my life so far indicated.

I'd be friendly but distant.
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Chapter 2: Glutton for punishment

'I'm a glutton for punishment.' I just nodded my head when he slid into my booth, explaining that he was grateful to find someone that wasn't always staring at him or trying to weasel into his pants. He went on, asking if we could be friends...and like I said, I just nodded. Nodded, and bit my lip to contain my smile and at the same time punish myself for my stupidity.

He was like the last cookie...you know, the one you meant to save out of love for somebody else, but just couldn't help yourself? Well, I meant to save my heart, but the tiniest little hopeless romantic part got in there and screwed it up for me. The saddest thing was as he kept talking all I could think of was what kind of cookie he would be. I was a chocolate chip girl, especially the double chocolate, but it had always bummed me out that some idiot ruined perfectly delicious oatmeal cookies by adding raisins. 'Oh, Max. My oatmeal cookie.'

He put his hand over mine when I blushed moments later, thinking he'd embarrassed me. He might've though, 'cause I still only had a vague clue of what he'd actually been saying. Making some lame excuse about work, I slid out of the booth with a wave. Only when I was safely behind the double doors did I succumb to my desire. The lockers felt wonderful against my head as I mumbled "stupid" for the next 30 seconds or so.

'I love my life.'
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Chapter 3: Home, Sweet Home

I'm sure you're wondering how I ended up a sarcastic 28 year old, living with and working for my parents. Well, I didn't plan it this way. Far to the contrary, as all through high school I ignored everything that didn't have to do with academics. There was that year of Chorus to appear 'well-rounded', but I would never been caught out past 10:00 pm unless it was school-related. I'm almost certain that if I'd never known Maria I never would have seen the world outside my textbooks.

I graduated with a 4.675 GPA, (that's weighted for thos of you idiots going wtf?). I went to Harvard to pursue my career as a molecular biologist and 1 semester later I ended up home. I, Liz Parker, failed out of college.

My parents, the loving people they are graciously moved me back in at home and let me wallow approximately three days before shoving my old order in my hands, saying simply, "Life goes on, Lizzie."

It was an easy statement for them to make because neither one of them failed all of their semester exams because they couldn't concentrate with the image of their drunk boyfriend naked on top of their equally drunk and naked roomate burned into their brains. And seeing as my dad has never had a boyfriend in his life, I am especially sure he did not knoe how I was feeling.

They were right though, as I did pick up my order pad and later enrolled in an online business college for restaurant management. Leave it to my dad to remind me that when he dies, "which could be soon, Lizzie. Who knows? Soemone has to take over The Crash."

So, that is more or less the story of how I got here: bitter female resident of Roswell, NM, assistant manager of The Crashdown, non-graduate of Harvard, official president of the 'How the frick did my life end up like this?' Club.
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[Queenie_Zan7]

A/N: I'm glad some people are interested in this. It's different from Coffee Shop, if any of you are reading that in AU w/ Aliens. This is more sarcastic ...but hopefully just as enjoyable. Thank you for the feedback!

begonia9508- Thank you Yes, this Liz is...different.
keepsmiling7- Thank you. I hope I can keep your interest.
Michelle in Yonkers- Well, she was more more naïve when she was younger. She's in for an awakening, that's what this story is about.



Chapter 4: Cookie of the Gods

Since I was a little shady in the details of my backstory, it might be a good idea to mention that Maria, my best friend and savior from solitude, lives in Roswell too. Though she sailed through college like I should have, and became the music teacher at Sand Lake Elementary: Home of the Little Saucers. We kept in contact, which is why I was able to dial her number off the top of my head from the floor of the store room during my 'crisis'.

I really did think my situation qualified as a crisis, too. I just agreed to be 'friends' with Maxwell Evans, of Hammel and Assoc. A man who was probably plucked from a cloud of Olympus and dropped into Mrs. Evans' lap via stork to remind us humans of our imperfections...well, probably he was not because my scientific mind has thousands of reasons why that would be impossible, but he was the most good-looking man to my knowledge that's ever walked the streets of this town. And because I could not remain friends with my oatmeal cookie, I needed Maria to tell me how I was going to proceed.

As the phone rang unanswered I rolled my eyes at my life, wondering how I got into yet another sweet situation since high school. Aware that I sounded like the pea-brained quarterback of all the clichés about high school, the one who became an overweight loser, I muttered to myself as I slammed the phone down, "I wish I was still in high school."

[Queenie_Zan7]

A/N: Hey everyone. Dropping this off before starting work on Coffee Shop. New summer job+Summer reading=Less time. Sorry , but I'm trying for you. I posted a new banner too, so let me know what you think.

keepsmiling7-Well if that's you're only complaint, I'm a happy camper. I'm working on the chapter lengths for ya.
begonia9508-Thanks for the feedback and the banner help. The ironic thing here is that I'm in high school now, and I cannot wait to get out of here! I really hope I won't look back on these as the best years of my life it's been a ridiculously crazy year for me.
jake17- Glad you're liking this. You do some great work yourself.



Chapter 5: One of the guys

After my phone incident, I sucked it up and got back out to the customers. I poured coffee, handled plates, and replenished napkins like a real trooper and I was just beginning to feel comfortable in my façade when Maria chimed in through the doors.

Checking my watch, I inched hesitantly over, knowing something must be up if Maria's out and about this early on a Saturday. Granted, I did call her, but usually when she doesn't answer it's because she's so far into R.E.M. that 10 motorcycles, a train, and a tornado couldn't get her out of bed.

"Hey Ria. Did you get my phonecall?"

I knew it...with eyes that could melt steel, she dragged me back through the employee doors. Arching a brow and putting a hand on her hip, she let me have it.

"Did I get your phonecall?! You, Miss 'I wouldn't know a man if he bit me on the ass', are the talk of the town. What is going on between you and this Max Evans, huh? And why am I hearing about it from my cat-lady neighbor?"

I set aside the fact that I just spoke to Max a few hours ago, the fact that I wouldn't want to know a man who bites women on the ass, and the ridiculous fact that old Ms. Peters lives about as far away from the Crash as one can get in Roswell--and I answered Maria with juts as much attitude as she gave me.

"First of all, my best friend Maria, I tried to call you earlier when I was freaking out about this, but someone didn't answer. Two, how am I supposed to tell you something I don't even know myself. Three, there is nothing going on between Max nad I except he wants to be my friend, and four--"

"Okay, okay! Stop with the lists, you're making my head hurt. I'm sorry I snapped. You just better remember to keep me in the know, Lizzie."

I rolled my eyes at her, but she is my best friend and so we spent the next half hour--my break--chatting up on what's new and she even nodded understandingly at my cookie analogy. It's moments like those when it's clear why she's my best friend.

By the time she had to leave I felt refreshed, despite my day and I was glad Maria stopped by. She gave me some advice on the 'Max situation' and hoopefully it would work: just to ride this friends thing till it gave out and try to be an actually nice, helpful person, which she swore I am on the inside. She did say that if I turned on the charm I might end up the next Mrs. Evans, but I chose--wisely, in my opinion--to ignore that part. After all, I thought that was why he liked me in the first place.

I was Liz Parker, boyish, quiet, and unassuming. I certainly wouldn't be batting mascara-clumped false eyelashes and parading a d-cup in his face anytime soon making him uncomfortable. In fact, I was starting to realize how well this friends thing might work out if he was into my constant whit and bouts of sarcasm. Hand me a beer, I was one of the guys. Liz Parker: manliest of men.